Trying to understand this process

[TigerPaws]

Interesting concept...

If you've never had much money the same may be said,,, that the value of it is unknown and you don't know what money can do.

If you are like me, and always made above average wages, then we always struggle to make more.  My toys get more and more expensive.  It could be said that I don't fully understand money either, since I've always had trouble keeping it. 

Then you hit the opposite extreme and have more than you can count,,,

Frankly, to the very rich man who has neither the time nor inclination to get to know the culture and the woman, then he's in the wrong business in the first place.  He has little chance to achieve success with a FSU woman in any case.  If he wants to throw money at the problem then he deserves what he gets.  And I think in the end he will get screwed.

Not necessarily we have met many men of substantial means who once removed from their normal environment you would never know just how much they were worth. Many of these men are single because they are very concerned about the ever present gold diggers in the circles they travel. That is not to say there are not the money flashing A-holes but they are all to easy to spot and avoid. As for finding a lady in the FSU, many of the men are interested in such a venture and a few we know of have already been to Russia, one is now engaged to a wonderful lady from Perm.

TigerPaws   

[DKMM]

Well he's worth about 2.8 billion, and is the 245th richest man in the world.  So he's at the very extreme up the upper end, and still isn't making 350 mil a year.

I wonder what is the net worth of these people you "know" TP.  I have several clients worth 9 figures and none of them act at all like money doesn't matter to them.  Although they pay our billings without complaint.  All are rather normal people and the one thing that sticks out is they tend to have 4 or 5 kids...and a good looking spouse.

[Mir]

and a good looking spouse

Plastic surgery, expensive beauty salons and clothing can achieve miracles

[MaxxumUSA]

Well he's worth about 2.8 billion, and is the 245th richest man in the world.  So he's at the very extreme up the upper end, and still isn't making 350 mil a year.

 

You're right DK.  Just checked on forbes - again out of curiosity.  He only makes 332 million a year now.

What a slacker he is.  LOL

Maybe with some real hard work he will make that 350 mil a year goal we have set for him.

The point I was making is that the poster that stated the 350 million a year number was actually pretty close.  (I don't care to review post for accuracy of who stated this)

DK - I know a lot of people have been picking on you the last week or so...  I was not making my comment to pick on you.  It just struck my curiosity when you stated his salary was not even close to to the 350 million a year mark.  (not ver batim)

If you try to tell me that there is a big difference between 332 million and 350 million - well - hehe...  Come on man...  be sensible about this debate - that's not even on topic.

[Kuna]

It's a shame the good content in this thread has been lost in all the offtopic stuff. 

[Wayne B]

We will try to get back on track again with this thread.....If a man is to consumed in his pusuit of making money and that is his main concern.....then he is wasting his valuable time in the pursuit of courting a FSU woman.....Once she comes to her new home...she will need much more attention to be given to her ajustments to her new home......If you think you can keep her content??? while you are working all the time....then, the odds are, that your 'Relationship'  will crash and burn.....and you will be scratching your head, wondering....What happened?

[MaxxumUSA]

We will try to get back on track again with this thread.....If a man is to consumed in his pusuit of making money and that is his main concern.....then he is wasting his valuable time in the pursuit of courting a FSU woman.....Once she comes to her new home...she will need much more attention to be given to her ajustments to her new home......If you think you can keep her content??? while you are working all the time....then, the odds are, that your 'Relationship'  will crash and burn.....and you will be scratching your head, wondering....What happened?

I am very blessed in this sense.  My business is currently home based.  I used to work in an office and had employees but I decided about a year ago that I wanted a family life more than an office life.  So I fired all employees, downsized the operation, and went to home based.  My basement is full of inventory, has a shipping area, a product repair area, and a receiving area.  I put all the crap I wasn't using in storage.

There are many benefits that this has produced.  I have more time with my son as I am here to get him to school and when he gets home I can be with him.  Also when Elena comes here we will have plenty of time together and she will not be sitting home waiting for me to return - ever.  She is very pleased to know this.  Another benefit of this change is the reduction of overhead and stress.  The net income is definitely higher.  My hours are completely flexible since I don't need to "Babysit" employees.

Side note:  My business is REALLY taking off.  The troubles I had are definitely in control and I am recovering nicely.  I will either need a larger home for the additional inventory that is required for this growth - or will need an office again within a year.  I will cross that bridge later.  - end side note

Basically I designed my life around wanting to find a partner in life and live together as a team.  This is one reason I opened my search for my soul mate globally.  I have a strong desire to have a happy home life.  I could not find a woman in USA that desires this type of relationship.  THAT fact still leaves me confused as to why (most) AW are not interested in this type of home life.

So...  yes - I agree strongly that in order to make a relationship work with a woman that comes here from russia - she will need plenty of attention.  I can imagine that we would be fine if I did have a 9-5 job, but the way I have things set up now are much more to my liking.

[TigerPaws]

MaxxumUSA,

Good for you several of years ago I was in much the same position, I had a number of highly successful companies and those business ventures were growing in size and volume providing a very nice income. But I reached a point where I was working for the sake of working as it was no longer about the money, Hells-Bells I could not spend what I had what was the point of making more.

So I sold off the businesses and retired at the ripe old age 49. That was the second best decision I have ever made (the first was heading of to the FSU to look and eventually find my lovely bride).

So do not be in a hurry to grow your business back to the point where you are working for either the almighty dollar or for work alone believe me it is an easy trap to fall into.

TigerPaws

[BC]

Yes, working from home can be a blessing.  Other than business travel we are together as a family 24/7, a stark contrast to the old days of punching a time clock, getting home, eating dinner and hitting the sack for an early rise.. Often too early to get the kids off to school and too late to even read the kids a bedtime tale... before you know it they have grown up.

This is probably a big factor that helped me justify starting a new family.  I also had flexible time to travel and 'date' my wife (albeit with a substantial loss of revenue).  Had I been doing a 9 to 5+ it would have been much more difficult.. I may have even passed.  In fact, I probably would have had to first accrue a huge amount of vacation time. I reckon all the 'downtime' invested adds up to 6 months or so, - from the first time we met through our first year of marriage. 

[TigerPaws]

Well he's worth about 2.8 billion, and is the 245th richest man in the world.  So he's at the very extreme up the upper end, and still isn't making 350 mil a year.

I wonder what is the net worth of these people you "know" TP. That would be very impolite to ask anyone, but as a guess the range would be between 15 and 100 million as their net worth.

 I have several clients worth 9 figures and none of them act at all like money doesn't matter to them. DKMM, everyone is different I am sure you will agree.

 Although they pay our billings without complaint. As expected and I am just as sure you charge the appropriate ammount for the services you offer.

 All are rather normal people and the one thing that sticks out is they tend to have 4 or 5 kids...and a good looking spouse. Yes as I pointed out earlier for the most part you would never know these were/are people of substantial means. As for the wife and kids again that varies across the board.

TigerPaws

[Wayne B]

Yes, working from home can be a blessing.  Other than business travel we are together as a family 24/7, a stark contrast to the old days of punching a time clock, getting home, eating dinner and hitting the sack for an early rise.. Often too early to get the kids off to school and too late to even read the kids a bedtime tale... before you know it they have grown up.

This is probably a big factor that helped me justify starting a new family.  I also had flexible time to travel and 'date' my wife (albeit with a substantial loss of revenue).  Had I been doing a 9 to 5+ it would have been much more difficult.. I may have even passed.  In fact, I probably would have had to first accrue a huge amount of vacation time. I reckon all the 'downtime' invested adds up to 6 months or so, - from the first time we met through our first year of marriage. 

BC, good point. I want to add that this long journey can be accomplished with having only 2 weeks a year vacation......hard yes...but, it can be done....because I am one of those men with only 2 weeks vacation... I felt compelled to say this as to not discourage the 'newbies'....next year, I will have 3 weeks vacation yee haww....

[I/O]

I might run against the tide here, but having been through the experience of running a very successful business with my former wife from home, albeit the office was slightly divorced from the house, I would never under any circumstances do that again. Never. The "Blurr" factor between home and work life ultimately overtook the marriage without either of us realising what was happening.

Ultimately after divorce I sold off half the business, and leased the other sector out.  Funnily enough I have ended up woking for another entirely unrelated company.  It is absolutely the best thing I have ever done in regards to vacation time, private time and being able to walk out, close the door and come back tomorrow.  I now have far more free and vacation time than I have ever had in my life and am generally far more relaxed as a result.  Certainly, I still maintain some investments, but they no longer control me.  Many of my mistakes were centred around working from home.

I/O

[KenC]

Having worked from a home office for over 13 years now, I will say it takes a lot of discipline to make it work and not be consumed by your work.  That being said, working from home was a God send when Lena arrived.  Just being around all day was a comfort to her during the adjustment period.  Her being able to pop into my office and ask a quick question was way cool for her. 

The guys that work a 9 to 5 day with only a few weeks of vacation time have a much harder row to hoe IMO.  When a RW gets up every morning and knows she is on her own in a strange country, a strange culture with language limitations, there has to be a severe case of loneliness, fear and even depression.  With the fact that most RW have limited (if any) driving abilities it is no wonder that many feel like a bird in a gilded cage.

I think back to Photoguy's situation.  He brought his fiancee here with no English abilities, no driving abilities and had to go back to work immediately upon her arrival.  A few weeks into his new relationship, his work forced him to be out of town for a week.  How terrible it must have been for his woman.  It is no wonder that the relationship didn't work out.
KenC

[DKMM]

At the risk of taking some abuse....

Ken, its possible my fiance will come over at the beginning of tax season where I work six 12 hour days a week...for 3 months.  Imagine the fun she'll be having.  On top of that, she told me she doesn't want to be a bird in a cage (used the same words you did).   Am I in trouble? (heh heh)

On the flip side, she is aware of it, and says it doesn't matter as long as she's here with me.  And she's moved abroad before completely alone so maybe its not as much of a problem...

The good news is I get 8 weeks vacation a year outside of that.  No way could a guy get married to a FSU gal using the standard 2 weeks a year vacation.

[catzenmouse]

No way could a guy get married to a FSU gal using the standard 2 weeks a year vacation.

I beg to differ with you on that one. At the time we got married I was only getting two weeks vacation a year.

Of course, maybe we aren't really married. I might be in a coma somewhere and this is all a bizarre dream. Maybe they're keeping me so highly medicated at the asylum that I don't know any different. Maybe...

Gotta remember, anytime you make an "always", "never", "can't happen" kind of statement someone will prove you wrong.

FWIW,
 Ken

[BC]

At the risk of taking some abuse....

Ken, its possible my fiance will come over at the beginning of tax season where I work six 12 hour days a week...for 3 months.  Imagine the fun she'll be having.  On top of that, she told me she doesn't want to be a bird in a cage (used the same words you did).   Am I in trouble? (heh heh)

JIMHO, I would avoid this if at all possible.  Not only is this a critical period for her, but you as well..  It was very very difficult to concentrate on any type of work.  In fact you would probably be doing your customers and/or employer a disservice..  we all know where your mind will be.

Knowing what I know, as an employer I would probably fire an employee that even mentions RW..

[BC]

I beg to differ with you on that one. At the time we got married I was only getting two weeks vacation a year.

Of course, maybe we aren't really married. I might be in a coma somewhere and this is all a bizarre dream. Maybe they're keeping me so highly medicated at the asylum that I don't know any different. Maybe...

Gotta remember, anytime you make an "always", "never", "can't happen" kind of statement someone will prove you wrong.

FWIW,
 Ken

Ken,

Was it smooth sailing?

[Wayne B]

Ken, I guess DKMM missed my post just 3 posts above his  DKMM, as I stated only having two weeks vacation, just adds to the hard work that it takes for this journey....but, it can be done...        Ken can I have some of you medication                                                                    

[catzenmouse]

Ken,

Was it smooth sailing?

For the most part it was pretty good. Of course there were times of depression and frustration but the time we took knowing each other before she came and the commitment that we had together gave us what it took to get through the rough times.

Won't say that it was easy or anything like that. It was a lot of work on both our parts. Mostly Elena's part as she was the one who gave up her life to be with me.

Even if it was 10 times harder it would still be worth every minute and when she told me recently (after being in Russian for a couple of weeks) that she missed her home I knew that all those big changes had finally sunk in.

Ken

[catzenmouse]

Ken can I have some of you medication

Heck Yeah! Right now it's called Pivo! I've got plenty in the 'fridge so come on over! 

[DKMM]

BC,

That brings up an interesting point.  I leveled with my boss about my situation because he's wondering where I'm going when I take a week off every month.  I keep him in the loop completely about why I'm doing this and when I expect certain things to happen and etc.  You are right about it taking some of my concentration away and time from work (we have to talk in the late morning here).  I do avoid RWD at work thought, that's a plus!   

Yeah he expressed some concern about the timing of her arrival (which is probably another reason I got engaged so quickly) but I think as long as she knows what she's in for I can handle it.  If not, I'll just delay her arrival till April 15th.  This is all still really way ahead of what i'm focused on right now but its interesting to ponder.

My hats off to you guys who did this on little vacation.  I need more time in person but I guess its possible to do if you had no other way.

[Turboguy]

I have to agree with Ken about the demise of PG's relationship.   I think leaving her alone for days at a time was the biggest problem with their relationship.

DKMM,  When  you get the K-1 visa she has 180 days to begin her 90 day time with you.  I would strongly suggest that if it would normally be at the beginning of tax season that you put her visit back until you can devote time to just her.   No sense taking the risk of ruining your life together just to gain a few months.   You need to make time for her or you are running a strong risk of disaster.

[Voyageur]

I am still in the same boat as Catz.... I only had a few weeks of saved vacation time as I worked for an employer. When my wife arrived here, I took off for the entire first week she was here. (Of course, I met her first in Moscow for the stressful ride back through the Dept. of Homeland Security gauntlet at JFK).   I am sure that she felt isolated and alone when I was away, but we worked through it. She took some driving lessons in Russia before she got here, but she had allot to learn. When she first got here, she busied herself in making order - first in the house, then in life.  Then she got her SSN, then her permit, then her license.

And it wasn't all smooth sailing (to answer BC), but I look at that time now, the month or two before we were married with great fondness. 

[I/O]

I dunno if I will get this right regarding the initial settling in period, but still having a goodly amount of paid vacation time up my sleeve and as much unpaid time as I care to take, my devotable time is pretty much unlimited within reason.

However I've chosen to take a slightly 'nother route with all of this.  Firstly she has been here for several weeks last year and is quite familiar with how to get around the town, to shopping centres, bus routes and so forth.  She did get a few personal driving lessons at that time but I think I/O's patience might not stand too much more of that so a good mate has been assigned that task.

I have invited her mother, a lady whom I adore to come with her and remain for a couple of months in the first instance.  It is my intention to take only minimal time away from work during that and the wedding period.  My view is after her mum returns to Russia will be the time I am needed more than from the get go.  By that time the visa will be changed to spouse visa and she can commence the scheduled English language studies, in which another Russain lady is also involved.

I see the intitial arrival time as being a little euphoric and perhaps after a couple of months the real day to day struggle with a new life might start to bite.  I am punting that this will be the time I am needed more than at first.

Set me straight you guys who have been around this block if you think I am way off beat here.

I/O

[catzenmouse]

I see the intitial arrival time as being a little euphoric and perhaps after a couple of months the real day to day struggle with a new life might start to bite.  I am punting that this will be the time I am needed more than at first.

I'd say you are right on target there I/O. You have a big advantage in being able to have her there for a bit of time first and also to have her mother come for a time. Those two things will make a HUGE difference in the initial comfort level.

Ken