Got a "Dear John" today.

[macman]

Phantom: Sorry for the disappointment - Great advice has followed.  I too learned my lesson communicating via "terp" and translation software.  500.00 for me.  While it was worth the effort, I wouldn't do it that way again.  I've had some great conversations via skype to women that can speak English.  These ladies don't desire long and drawn out correspondence either.  Richard made a pretty good offer!  300.00 = 12 ladies.  Your chances would be much better than WOVO as Gator shares. 

GregFrmGa

You are probably right with this. As a matter of fact you are dead on target. My first trip was to Tallinn Estonia and then I went with friends. Like I've said before this process isnt for everyone. It's expensive and it takes lots of patience.

How did you like Tallinn?  Pretty cool place to hang. . . Did you visit anywhere else in Eesti?

mm

[ecr844]

   I'm not understanding the question. I certainly am a big advocate of cutting to the chase and getting on the plane and going regardless. I wrote to a girl for a month and went to see her. It eventually didnt workout but thats neither here nor there. I wouldnt recommend going to the FSU without a wingman or friend. It can be a tough place to be alone. Not for me because talking and meeting strangers isnt my weakness. Not everyone can do this. I've seen guys that go there,their dates fall through and they sit in their rooms for the next 6 days.

"gregfromga,"

   We agree then, and the essence of my question was more one of clarification as when I originally read your post it sounded like you were talking more about the loss of money and 'phantom's' perceived lack of patience as well as trivial capital outlay as oppossed to the FSU being a decent place to visit as a first time adventure for a first time out of country traveler. I agree with your above setiment and echo the same. We are alot alike in this way. I also was determined that no matter what happened on my trip that I would not be 'sitting in my room the whole time.' Again as many others have said, I echo the advice provided by the entirety of the reponses thus far. Also, "mervin," has a great suggestion and I used this very modified approach myself.

"Phantom," I will also quote a great post by "Kuna," as well.  This is a solid bit of advice.

Joe,

Welcome to RWD.  This is genuinely the best site you'll if you're considering a future marriage with a lady from FSU.

READ
As Catzen mentioned READING is the first thing you should do...  In the previous threads you'll find informatin that could save yer butt...  Pay particular attention to the Trip Reports because many of them will give you a clear picture of what to expect when you take a trip.

TRAVEL
TAKE A TRIP!  Many men dream about this journey but they never travel...  You can't be successful if you don't travel.

ATTITUDE
Once you travel you'll find all the reading and preparation gave you a concept of what to expect - but nothing can prepare you for the reality of your first trip. 

It will be (and should be) a wonderful experience.  My suggestion is to be geninely interested in the places you're going (rather than just focusing on the girls) and you'll have a terrific time (and possibly better success with the girls).

LEAGUE
The only thing that matters is that you find a good match FOR YOU.  Some men travel looking for the hottest skirt they can find.  Some are successful in THAT search.  Some are not.  I think a serious bloke will have different things they're looking for.

I'd suggest you write down everything that's important to you (and why) and keep referring back to it throughout your journey.  I did and it helped me keep a level head.

Personally (and everyone is different), the main things I was seeking were character traits, values and goals... I was looking for someone that complimented me and someone I could share my goals with.  Of course looks were important but if you're more general (not prescriptive) when it comes to looks and more specific about values I believe you'll find someone compatible AND beautiful.  Beauty is easy to find in FSU - but it's not the thing that will make you successful.

MEETING GIRLS
There's MANY different ways to do this...  At the end of the day the most important thing is doing something that suits your personal style and comfort - and being cautious throughout.

Again, welcome...  and feel free to ask all of those crazy questions that will come up.

Kuna

[GregfromGa]

Phantom: Sorry for the disappointment - Great advice has followed.  I too learned my lesson communicating via "terp" and translation software.  500.00 for me.  While it was worth the effort, I wouldn't do it that way again.  I've had some great conversations via skype to women that can speak English.  These ladies don't desire long and drawn out correspondence either.  Richard made a pretty good offer!  300.00 = 12 ladies.  Your chances would be much better than WOVO as Gator shares. 

GregFrmGa
How did you like Tallinn?  Pretty cool place to hang. . . Did you visit anywhere else in Eesti?

mm

I really liked it but I was shellshocked because it was my first trip. We went to Parnu. One of my best friends that lives in my town is married to a girl from Estonia.  I actually went with him on my first trip. He knew his way around because he'd been so many times before. It was back in 2001 when I made that trip. I recommend Ukraine if you're looking for the other half. Estonia being in the EU and times are pretty good there now I guess. I did love the mushroom soup at Olde Hansa. As a matter of fact I still have correspondence with a waitress I met there. She's married now,I'm married now but we still write every so often.

[macman]

Yea Greg, I know what you mean "they got it pretty good there".  Almost Americanized in some regards; however, they seemed to be totally indifferent to Americans - and loathe Russians.  Did you end up marrying a FSUW or did you get you a Georgia peach?  I just got back from a 2 week R&R off the coast of Ga.

c ya
mm

[TigerPaws]

JB wrote,
True.  Except that Russia has added another step to the visa registration process.  If you stay in an apartment, one must make three trips after arriving:

1.  Go to the GoTo Russia office (a hole in a wall behind a hole in a wall) and complete a form ($40 please).
2.  Return in 1-2 days to obtain registration.
3.  On the day before your return flight, drop the registration off (but carry  copy in case of a problem at Passport Kontrol).

In Ukraine, no visa application ($200) and sweating about sending your passport away and awaiting its receipt before you depart.  And no visa registration ($40).

I am in Moscow now.  It was my favorite FSU city for four years.  Moscow is not the same today.  Traffic is horrible.  The metro is overcrowded.  Prices are expensive.  Girls are recent arrivals from the provinces and do not look nearly as well as they did in the past.  Even my woman met me without makeup - saying she is tired of men liking her just for her beauty (she still looks great).  Ukraine feels like Russia from a few years ago.

Gator,

I agree times are not what they used to be in Moscow anymore.

Maybe with Russia getting the winter Olympics they will change the way visa's are handled.

TigerPaws

[MaxxumUSA]

JB wrote,
True.  Except that Russia has added another step to the visa registration process.  If you stay in an apartment, one must make three trips after arriving:

1.  Go to the GoTo Russia office (a hole in a wall behind a hole in a wall) and complete a form ($40 please).
2.  Return in 1-2 days to obtain registration.
3.  On the day before your return flight, drop the registration off (but carry  copy in case of a problem at Passport Kontrol).

Gator,

I was in Russia a few weeks ago.  Third visit this year.  I never had to pay for registration.  Me and Elena go to this russian hole behind a hole in some official place - fill out a form - they take my passport for 1/2 hour then return it.

How new is this procedure you're talking about?  Is this specific to Moscow?  I register in Samara.

[GregfromGa]

Yea Greg, I know what you mean "they got it pretty good there".  Almost Americanized in some regards; however, they seemed to be totally indifferent to Americans - and loathe Russians.  Did you end up marrying a FSUW or did you get you a Georgia peach?  I just got back from a 2 week R&R off the coast of Ga.

c ya
mm

   They do hate the Russians there no doubt and as far as Americans are concerned you're right. They could take us or leave us. I actually married a village girl from Ukraine. Sept will be 4 years since we married. I actually met her while going to visit the first girl I ever corresponded with from Ukraine. I'm not proud of the fact that I met her while going to visit but it just goes to show you that you just really never know when you will meet the one that turns everything upside down for you. Where on the coast did you vacation? We were actually camping on Jekyll Island June 28-July 2.. We love the camping rv style. Doing NYC in August,back to Ukraine in Sept or Oct and Greece in November. We'll be busy.

[macman]

Dang Bro. . .

I was on St. Simons. . .  I've spent some time on Jeckyl too and the little Island Cumberland as well.  Most of my family live on St. Simons. . .  Sure has changed since I was a child. . .  Did you guys do any fishing?

later.
m

[Rvrwind]

True.  Except that Russia has added another step to the visa registration process.  If you stay in an apartment, one must make three trips after arriving:

Don't know whose instructions your following Bucky but that ain't the way it is. As of June 1 this year, you can register at any post office in Russia.Your lady can register you at her apt. or wherever she is registered at, right at the post office.
For a hotel to register you & you not stay there, they must have an empty room at the time.You pay one night & 5 roubles a day for the length of your Visa, no problem. That is being overshadowed by the ease of registering at the local Post Office, Its where I registered & my last client registered.
No waiting no hassle, 400 rouble & your done.
They are also now considering dropping the Visa requirements. The bill has passed the Duma & is waiting for Putin to sign it. You won't need a Visa but you will still have to register, that is why the move to bring the Post Office into the loop.
JFYI

[Phil dAmore]

Maybe with Russia getting the winter Olympics they will change the way visa's are handled.

Yeah... They're gonna jack up the prices even more.  Count on it. :usdeyes:

[I/O]

I think any first time passport holder is quite misplaced in this venture. 

Generally speaking, I concur.

I/O

[Maxx2]

It seems to me everyone is overlooking that Phantom got his heart broke...



Maxx

[Wayne B]

Maxx, maybe his feeling....like many of us.....now he is more informed about what can happen....so that in the future....he will not get his heart broke ;)n

[purpletib]

Phantom, I have to agree it looks like you were scammed.  I was before too, luckily I didn't spend ANY money out of the ordeal, but I was still hurt by it.  Pulling at someones heartstrings to take money, (even via charges for correspondence) is not an easy pill to swallow.  Just brush it off and move on. 

But the way I see it, YOU SHOULD GO!!!!  If the trip is already planned, DO IT!  You have a couple weeks yet.  QUICKLY write to a few girls from a different agency, considering the one you used appears to have scammed you.  Tell them you will be over there shortly and would like to meet them.  How perfect is that?  Only a couple correspondences, a little money spent on a few messages, and then you get to meet them in person.  That's what I'd do at this point! 

Everyone here seems to preach that is the best way to go on this endeavour!  So, I implore you, GO!  If this is a path you want to take, you need to go.  Even if you don't meet "that someone" on this trip, it will be an eye opener and a great experience, plus it will prove to new ladies that you write to later that you are SERIOUS about meeting someone.  You've been there once, you'll go again.  You wont be another keyboard Romeo.

[Gator]

 

never had to pay for registration.  Me and Elena go to this russian hole behind a hole in some official place - fill out a form - they take my passport for 1/2 hour then return it

.

Don't know whose instructions your following Bucky but that ain't the way it is. As of June 1 this year, you can register at any post office in Russia.Your lady can register you at her apt. or wherever she is registered at, right at the post office.....No waiting no hassle, 400 rouble & your done.

I followed the instructions given by GoToRussia, the company who obtained my visa.  I took my passport to the GoToRussia office where they made a copy and returned my passport.  The next day I returned to the GTR to receive my registration document (separate paper from the document obtained upon entry at the airport.  GTR says I need to return the newer document to their offices prior to my departure.

I paid $40, which is 1000 pyr.   So maybe GTR simply goes to the nearest  Post Office and charges me 1000-400 = 600 pyr for the service.  I would much prefer to go to the post office.

My overall point is that travel to Ukraine is easier.  Nevertheless, women take precedence and I will be returning to Russia, not Ukraine.

[phantom]

Checked on the passport, it's almost here.  Rvr wind, may take you up on the offer.  I know now to tread lightly.  I was going to just meet her.  Luckily, I have a few new ones, that just sent me emails.  So, I'll contact them in Ukraine.  Do however have one in Russia.  She wrote me today.  Got a question on that, it was no big deal, but she started with "Hello First and last name", do agencies give all these girls that info?
But no, I will be going.  Screw the Bahamas.  The $300 + was spent on terps, pics and phone calls.
Thanks to all for the advicce.  Gator's right "The hell with her"

[BC]

Do however have one in Russia.  She wrote me today.  Got a question on that, it was no big deal, but she started with "Hello First and last name", do agencies give all these girls that info?

Agency spam imho..

Am married almost 5 years now, Never used or contacted an agency but still on occasion get a few of these unsolicited emails.

They get junked without even opening.

Here's one from Marina..

Hi,
Hobpe I am not writing to wrong address. I am nice, prettyb looking
girl. I am planning on visiting your town this month. Can
we meet each other in person? Message me bback at ....

[Rvrwind]

Checked on the passport, it's almost here.  Rvr wind, may take you up on the offer.  I know now to tread lightly.  I was going to just meet her.  Luckily, I have a few new ones, that just sent me emails.  So, I'll contact them in Ukraine.  Do however have one in Russia.  She wrote me today.  Got a question on that, it was no big deal, but she started with "Hello First and last name", do agencies give all these girls that info?
But no, I will be going.  Screw the Bahamas.  The $300 + was spent on terps, pics and phone calls.
Thanks to all for the advicce.  Gator's right "The hell with her"

Phantom... I hope the new ones are from a different agency. Seems to me the previous agency did not do you a good service.
Don't know about that agency but at mine the men's profiles are exactly the same as the ladies accept they are not online & yes they do contain first & last name. I do find it odd that a lady would use the last name. I've never had any do that.
Gator, Yes, you could have gone to the Post Office yourself. They told me the same thing when I got my Visa through them but it is not nessessary & only a way for them to make a few more $'s. It doesn't matter who you register through, as long as you register. The Post Office is quick easy & cheaper.
Phil, this time we disagree Bud. With all the people that will be coming here for the Olympics it only makes sense for them to get rid of the Visa regeme. The last time Russia hosted the Olympics they lost millins because people didn't want the hassles amougst other reasons. With the thousandsof peopl who will be coming, do you really believe the way things work here that the OVIR could even begin to keep up or the Emabassies that issue Visa's?
They are in a position where they really don't have a choice. If they don't the Olympics will be a huge failure & it will not go over well. If Putin wants to keep United Russia in power he can't afford to screw this up. JMHO

[jb]

phantom,

Have you ever placed an online ad with any US based dating service?  If so, that's very likely where these people are getting you e-mail addy.

[Shadow]

Phantom, take Richard up on his offer. He can keep you out of trouble and show you the difference between agency writers and real women.

[Simoni]

I concur.   One should not write so many letters to a girl that he starts to fall in love by email.   

Rather, get on the plane and meet her (and others), after 3 or 4 letters.

If you don't, some of the other guys that are writing her might just come to see her in real life, and if she likes him, will certainly choose him over the email guy.

disclaimer-- in Phantom's case--he wants to go but has no passport.  Still- my advice stands. Never fall in love with a picture and emails.

[phantom]

Yes, I'm going to heading to Russia.  Not gonna do to much of any writing, until I've got that passport in hand.  The girl that wrote me, with Hi first and last name, was from an agency in Russia.  She's wrote me off and on, since about April.  It was a free trial, so whatever she sends now, she pays for.  That why it's short letters.  When I decide to send them to her, it's just verbally trnaslated.  After that last letter writing campaign, I'm going to tread like in a mind field.  She wrote great letters, new what she was doing, since she was a shrink.  She had me going to, saying I was the special person in her life, she thought about me when going to bed, and often when she got up in the morning, etc. etc. The girl in Russia is 24 and I'm 40, so I don't know on that one.
The other agency, I keep getting mail there, but I'm not answering the letters.  It was the Cindy Agency.  I've decided on Russia, so I'll probbaly be talking to Richard.

[Kuna]

Yes, I'm going to heading to Russia.  Not gonna do to much of any writing, until I've got that passport in hand.  The girl that wrote me, with Hi first and last name, was from an agency in Russia.  She's wrote me off and on, since about April.  It was a free trial, so whatever she sends now, she pays for.  That why it's short letters.  When I decide to send them to her, it's just verbally translated.  After that last letter writing campaign, I'm going to tread like in a mind field.  She wrote great letters, new what she was doing, since she was a shrink.  She had me going to, saying I was the special person in her life, she thought about me when going to bed, and often when she got up in the morning, etc. etc. The girl in Russia is 24 and I'm 40, so I don't know on that one.
The other agency, I keep getting mail there, but I'm not answering the letters.  It was the Cindy Agency.  I've decided on Russia, so I'll probably be talking to Richard.

phantom...

The answer is simple... a REAL/GOOD/GENUINE girl WILL NOT tell you that you are the special person in her life before meeting...  The type of woman you should be looking for would never do it anyway.

The scammers are professionals... they know EXACTLY how to extract money...  it is a business!

Next time anyone expresses feelings like that BEFORE it would be reasonable to expect the same reaction at home you should simply delete and feel a sense of achievement by striking off another scammer and making room for a genuine girl.

Congrats on your decision to still go to Russia...  I wish you the best of luck!

Kuna

[Simoni]

I've decided on Russia, so I'll probbaly be talking to Richard.

Good decision, Phantom.  Since this is your first passport and first international trip, you will need the help of a guide like Richard.  He will help keep things in context for you, and will help with the culture shock that will hit you.

And BTW, Tver is a lovely city.

~Si

[DKMM]

Ya know, Phantom there is a reason its the law that you must meet your fiancee before you can get a K-1 visa for her.  Its not born out of USCIS stupidity or something like that... 

I would expect a normal girl to regard you as a curiosity/friend-with-potential at most before you meet in person.  I had 2 girls "like me" before we met and they were 2 out of the 3 that didn't end up liking me after we met (as opposed to the 6 out of 6 others that did).  Just some stats for ya.