What women want...

[Kuna]

In another thread the concept of money came up again and it made me think about a conversation I had with My Girl over the weekend.

As a newbie I often wondered about a womans motivation and what was important to them...

Money?
Age?
Looks?
Assets?
Income?
Cultural background?
etc...

A while ago My Girl mentioned a friend of hers (T) from work. T told My Girl she was "very lucky" to have found a good man...  and asked if My Girl would see if I had a friend that she coud write to.

T's English was minimal when I met her about a month ago... but My Girl told me on the weekend T had started Engish lessons because she decided she would have a better chance of finding a man if she was more fluent in English... 

Age
While we were talking I mentioned a friend of mine who's 49 and said to my girl "It's a shame he is too old for T".  My Girl's immediate response was "49 isn't too old for T.  She is 31.  Is he healthy?"

After talking through this it was obvious that a woman over 30 would jump her "acceptable age range" simply because she was over 30 and had no children.  The important factors were:

Is he healthy;
Does he want children, and;
Does he drink much?

My Girl actually said to me "It's easy to find a man in Ukraine but it's NOT easy to find a man that doesn't drink much".

This seems to be a big factor for them and after my last trip I can see why...  Yes there are men that don't drink much but it's hard to find them... 

Is money an important factor??? Yes, but I believe it's "Enough money for a family".  I believe it's about security.

What does everyone else think?  What are the factors that women women consider when "qualifying" us...

Kuna

[MaxxumUSA]

I think this thread has good potential.

I know when I first started talking to Elena I asked her about this.  She did not give me all the details but said "I know what it is that I want."

So I fit what she was looking for.

I'm about 8 years older than her, have my own business, my home, a few toys, and I can afford a family.

I honestly know from watching her reactions on webcams and in person- that big bucks is not the main thing on her mind.  She really lights up when we talk about dedication to each other, love, and our relationship.

In Elena's case I believe she simply wants a man to love, one that will love her completely.  It was OK that the other things are in order also.  Thank goodness she is not turned off by bald men. 

We are definitely attracted to each other, and we became close friends and she already tells me I am her best friend and lover.  These things were also on her "list."

[macman]

GOOD post man. . .  Is "T" attractive?  My brother is looking and really wants to have children - lol.  Not to undermine your buddy . . .  just trying a/my bro up.


 

[GregfromGa]

My wife is 13 years younger than me and neither of us had ever married. I think the biggest attributing factor in our relationship was honesty. I was brutally honest from the first letter I wrote to her after meeting her in the train station.  I let her know from the get go that i wasnt rich by a long shot but that I did live comfortable. As far as being healthy,well I'll out run 90% of the guys running in my age group on 5,10 or 15 KM runs. I'll out run most of the guys younger than me as well. My wife never saw me drink anything more than a beer before we married. She absolutely would freak out when I brought home a 6 pack after she arrived. She has never saw me drunk. I think after watching alcoholism in Ukraine,she was just scared that 6 pack would lead to much more.

I always thought it was my very good looks and great sense of humor that helped close the deal. Luckily for me my wife has the best sense of humor of any girl I ever dated.  Guys just need to be very honest when dealing with these women. It will come back to haunt you if you dont.  If you think it will be necessary for your girl to work when she arrives then by all means tell her.  Let her know that she will not be driving a Mercedes or BMW or whatever if thats the case.  Their perception of life here will be a little misguided once she arrives anyway. If you cant afford Gucci and Prada and all that other crap then by no means start buying it for her over there.

[KenC]

Kuna,
Nice thread.  I really think that to most "good" women from the FSU, earning enough to provide for the family is the threshold for acceptable income.  If a man can do it without the wife working it is a luxury most never expected.

Character was a driving force for Lena.  Honesty, faithfulness and compatable moral standards were deciding factors for her.  Those and of course along with being a romantic man.
KenC

[macman]

Greg,

You continue to impress me with experience, morals and presentation of your life. . .  Besides the rest of our congruences! 

Thanks for sharing with the RWD!


MM

[TigerPaws]

Interesting thread,

I have been assisting a gentleman lately who is 35 with a daughter living with him part time. He is a good and caring man who like many men had become tired of the BS from AW.

Anyway to make along story short when I let him know that if he besides to peruse a lady from either Russian or the Ukraine he will need to consider the very real possibility that the lady will be interested in having a child of her own in the future. This put him back a bit but it is something every man who is considering this endeavor to think about.

TigerPaws   

[ScottinCrimea]

I think anyone pursuing an FSUW or any woman for that matter needs to do a little exercise.  Write down a list of all the qualities that you want in a wife.  Describe her in as much detail as possible.  Next, write down all the qualities that a woman of this type would want in a husband.  Again, go into as much detail as possible. (Maybe have a female friend do this part). Then, look at yourself objectively and see if you fit this woman's criteria. If you are unable to be objective, find a friend who is not afraid of being honest with you and ask him/her to do this. (I would avoid ex-wives).  Now if you find that you don't meet the criteria of your dream woman, you either need to lower your expectations or raise yourself to the appropriate level.  Spend less time looking for Miss Right and spend more time becoming MR. Right.

[Wayne B]

Ken C, yes I agree that honesty is the key that unlocks the door to 'trust' and all of us that are serious in this endeavor....knows...that without honesty/trust...one has nothing

[Wayne B]

Interesting thread,

I have been assisting a gentleman lately who is 35 with a daughter living with him part time. He is a good and caring man who like many men had become tired of the BS from AW.

Anyway to make along story short when I let him know that if he besides to peruse a lady from either Russian or the Ukraine he will need to consider the very real possibility that the lady will be interested in having a child of her own in the future. This put him back a bit but it is something every man who is considering this endeavor to think about.

TigerPaws   

  Tiger, very good point....This was and is a very important factor in how Anna felt...and she was not shy about stating the fact of wanting children....boy and girl.... Having teenage children myself from a previous marriage....and knowing how much joy they bring to my life......How could I not share this dream with Anna......but, not all people feel the same way as Anna and I

[TigerPaws]

I think anyone pursuing an FSUW or any woman for that matter needs to do a little exercise.  Write down a list of all the qualities that you want in a wife.  Describe her in as much detail as possible.

ScottCrimea,

Well I think you have the first part right but honestly your second part is a bit wishful thinking and in many cases unnecessary. If a man is willing to search long enough he should be able to find exactly what he wants in a lady. Now that is not a blanket statement but in general true.

TigerPaws   

[TigerPaws]

   Tiger, very good point....This was and is a very important factor in how Anna felt...and she was not shy about stating the fact of wanting children....boy and girl.... Having teenage children myself from a previous marriage....and knowing how much joy they bring to my life......How could I not share this dream with Anna......but, not all people feel the same way as Anna and I

Wayne D,

My lady is 19 years younger than myself and I had teenage children as well, but I knew going into this endeavor that I could not say no to a lady significantly younger than myself when it came to having a child. What the Hell I have been there and done that so I was not concerned about going down that road yet again.

TigerPaws 

[ScottinCrimea]

Tigerpaws, It's not just about finding what you want, but also being what she wants.  It's about realistic expectations and the avoidance of future disappointments when reality doesn't live up to reality, on either side.

[TigerPaws]

ScottinCrimea,

I think the two are the same, if a man looks long enough in an earnest search he (generally) will find exactly what he is looking for as will the lady but it is the man who initiates the search and generally the first contact not the lady. I therefor place the greater emphasis on the gentleman and what he is looking for in a lady, it is up to the lady to accept the mans advances.

TigerPaws   

[Vaughn]

Scott, well said. We were an awfully careful pair, cognizant of many
who'd gone before us and jumped the tracks.

When you strip the artichoke right down to the heart, my wife sought
a man who was dependable. Good thing for me, for I am neither
very wealthy nor very handsome, pretty average in those departments.
Dependability is one of my stronger suits, but it took me many years to
develop that strength.

Other factors that were significant to her:

Compatibility, not just with her but her daughter. It mattered to her
that her family like me - we traveled quite a ways to meet Mama...

Experience with parenting.
Honesty.
Maturity.

None of these in worded theory, but in practice. We covered more
ground at her pre-dawn kitchen table than anyplace else.

I was impressed with her list of expectations. It all boiled down to two
finding someone they could love and respect simultaneously. I
can honestly say that while we both would have liked to find (and be)
a worthy spouse, neither of us considered the altar walk as mandatory.

Tiger, my wife wasn't the conformist some men expect. Of course, she
was already 37 when we met and had a pretty clear idea on what she
sought in me. 

[macman]

Great Post Vaughn; applied science!  That's why I/we are here. . . Continued blessings for you.


c ya
mm

[TigerPaws]

Tiger, my wife wasn't the conformist some men expect. Of course, she
was already 37 when we met and had a pretty clear idea on what she
sought in me.

Then you found what you were looking for in a lady? Cool!

Is she everything you wanted? If so great, did you make any compromises or at least what you thought were compromises?

TigerPaws

[Vaughn]

. . . Continued blessings for you.

Thanks, mac.

Cool! Is she everything you wanted?

More than I could have hoped for. Compromises? OK, one comes to mind...

I don't whistle Dream a Little Dream of Me in the house anymore. I save that
for my morning rounds. Small price considering the benefits....

Tiger, I know you don't give a da*n, but lemme register as one of those RWD members
who find your 14 point blue text extremely annoying....

[TigerPaws]

Tiger, I know you don't give a da*n, but lemme register as one of those RWD members
who find your 14 point blue text extremely annoying....

You are right I do not give a damn. I like it.

TigerPaws

[Vaughn]

[BillyB]

Age
While we were talking I mentioned a friend of mine who's 49 and said to my girl "It's a shame he is too old for T".  My Girl's immediate response was "49 isn't too old for T.  She is 31.  Is he healthy?"

What does everyone else think?  What are the factors that women women consider when "qualifying" us...

There is some truth to the agency hype after all about women accepting larger age differences. I've seen on dating sites and forums, where women aren't influenced by an agency on what to write, that they accept large age differences.

But the truth is women would prefer a man just older than themselves if they could find the more important things they want in a man in the younger man. I believe many of these women are looking for a serious, financially stable, and family oriented man and older men tend to have more of these qualities. Of course some women are looking for a party and a vacation no matter the man's age but I think you're not talking about these women.

[TigerPaws]

There is some truth to the agency hype after all about women accepting larger age differences. I've seen on dating sites and forums, where women aren't influenced by an agency on what to write, that they accept large age differences.

But the truth is women would prefer a man just older than themselves if they could find the more important things they want in a man in the younger man. I believe many of these women are looking for a serious, financially stable, and family oriented man and older men tend to have more of these qualities. Of course some women are looking for a party and a vacation no matter the man's age but I think you're not talking about these women.

On this we can agree.

TigerPaws

[2tallbill]

Honestly I think that all woman world wide first consider these three things.
1. Safety and Security: if a woman has any doubts that she will be
killed, raped, robbed, beaten, jailed, etc, then the most handsome and richest man would
not interest her.

2. Provider: Food, Shelter & Clothing: this is the next step in survival. If she thinks she will be
in a card board box, dumpster diving with Brad Pitt she will reject him.

3. Dependability / Character: Is her man going to live a full life be healthy, be honest, faithful, will he get drunk, spend all the money etc.

Now nearly every normal, non drug dependant woman expects to get numbers one two and three. But do they get 1, 2 and 3? No not always.

After these bases have been covered then and only then is a woman going to start making the choices that are being discussed here. I think after you get the basics covered then the woman choices will greatly depend on the woman as most of the discussions her imply.

We will be back to discussing how many fairies can dance on a head of a needle or if you have
the physical looks of 7, but bald, yet tall, and a pocket book of 8.5 but live in California, in a nice house with no children living at home will you be able to get a lady who is this much younger and prettier than you. There are no such formulas. Sounds complicated? then factor in just the following list.

These are just some factors a man brings to the table

Confidence
Looks
Figure
Intelligence
Humor
Age difference
Health
Height
Lifestyle
Location (California coast vs. Point Barrow Alaska vs. Ensign Kansas pop 203)
Wealth
Compatability
Strength of character
Salesmanship
Language / communication skills
Ability to solve problems
Kissing ability
Romantic Skills
Hygiene
Breath scent
Style of dress
Manners
Thoughtfulness
Through no fault of you own you could have a hanger from your NOSE!!!
Manliness
Luck*

There are too many variables to do anything except a 20 page argument ending with a few guys insulting each other (I hope not). You see everyone has at least a little of each of those thing in the above list (and I can list more easily enough if you want). So, how does a woman decide which ones make her leave everything she knows and go off to a strange new land?  Its not a question that can be answered or honestly argued.

And this isn't taking the ladies situation in consideration at all, which is surely to factor in at least another 6-10 variables

If she lives in Moscow will she move to Barnes City Iowa pop 201? the answer is maybe but you better have a bunch of the above list in SPADES!! and a whole lot of luck!!!

Just my two kopecks

Bill

[KenC]

There is some truth to the agency hype after all about women accepting larger age differences. I've seen on dating sites and forums, where women aren't influenced by an agency on what to write, that they accept large age differences.

But the truth is women would prefer a man just older than themselves if they could find the more important things they want in a man in the younger man. I believe many of these women are looking for a serious, financially stable, and family oriented man and older men tend to have more of these qualities. Of course some women are looking for a party and a vacation no matter the man's age but I think you're not talking about these women.

Billy,
I agree with everything you write here and has  thought while reading this:  Isn't the age difference a matter of a couple factors?  #1 The average age of the women involved with this process.  It seems as though the RW are getting older now a days, but back 9 years ago, one would be hard pressed to find a woman over 30.  LTP was a very large agency at that time and they had only a handful of women 30+.  #2 The average age of the men involved in this process.  I think the average age of the guys involved in this process have actually gotten younger over the years.  I never heard of any guys involved (years ago) that were in their 30's let alone the 20 year olds we sometime see now.  Back when I was involved almost all the guys were in their 40's as was I.

So when you match up these two demographics with the fact that RW may be more acceptable to a larger age difference, you would naturally tend to have larger age gaps.  I also think that with the current trends, the age gaps are getting smaller not withstanding Turbo and VWRW. 
KenC

(Don't mean to turn your thread into another age difference thread, Kuna, but the thought just hit me with Billy's post)

[Jazzyclassy]

            But the truth is women would prefer a man just older than themselves if they could find the more important things they want in a man in the younger man. I believe many of these women are looking for a serious, financially stable, and family oriented man and older men tend to have more of these qualities. Of course some women are looking for a party and a vacation no matter the man's age but I think you're not talking about these women.             

I completely disagree with this, just cos many of the guys on this foum have younger wives , does not mean it is a norm, for you maybe but not for everybody and not for the majority!

Women do not want necessarily all the time old guys (concenring women's age) as their hubbies , believe me

my sister married 7 years ago to a guy who was younger than her on 1 year , my friend 2 years ago married to  a guy who is younger than he also on 1 year , but that does not make them crazy silly and stupid, my boy is younger than me , my other friend at the University she is 23 and her boyfriend is 20 , but that also does not make her silly and without brains

Different women want different things

You are talking about financial support and opportunities women can get a lot- aren't that the clue and the key stone of many marriages with age difference?

To my mind the main thing for some women it is friendship and mutual love and relations as Maxxim mentioned of course the other things which many of you mentioned are important , but if there is no friendship and love, then relations wont be complete they only will be based on security of a woman , finance and just relations based on some material or phycological purposes........