Ladies, why did you decide to search for a mate abroad?

[Jazzyclassy]

Tiger

surely , great that you are happy , I do not have any problem with this age gaps, you have as you are attacking my point of view in ever thread

you are being very insisting with your situation that people should only follow your experience and should only obey your advices and commands I do not know who are you at work , but I feel sorry for your employees

[TigerPaws]

Tiger

surely , great that you are happy , I do not have any problem with this age gaps, you have as you are attacking my point of view in ever thread

you are being very insisting with your situation that people should only follow your experience and should only obey your advices and commands I do not know who are you at work , but I feel sorry for your employees

Jazzy,

Were have I ever said my way is the best or only way? That people must follow my example or the path that I took? Like many girls you hear what you want to hear, see what you want to see and read into something what is not there but what you want it to say.

As far as employees, Jazzy if you would bother to read you would know that I sold the various companies I owned, but to answer your question when I did employ people they did things my way or they were welcome to leave the company. After all I was the person signing their pay check.

TigerPaws

[Jazzyclassy]

I am glad for you Tiger, carry on this way , am tired of blue colour

no offense

[catzenmouse]

Lily: Not all western men are obsessed with a sub 25 year old piece of armcandy.  Sure, no argument from me that the majority of guys you will strike on any website will be that way minded.  BUT the majority of guys on websites never get off their dime and go anywhere anyway. 

You are looking for one and one only.  Personally I think you are off beat by avoiding the younger competition.  When looking, I was looking for someone who could WRITE a profile.  My age of choice was 29-40. (I was 39 by that point) Fancy photos of 20-25 Y/O's became a yawn.  There was millions of them and rarely would I see one who wrote something individual or informative.

Know your own value, understand what you have to offer and also want.  Look the competition in the eyes and tout your worth, NOT your arse. You are NOT looking for the majority.  You are looking for one.  All this talk about the majority of guys are looking for this or that galls me a little because the majority of guys are looking for a fantasy on their computer screen and nothing more.  A very small minority are serious and that's the group you need to tap into.

Recently the son of my lawyer (The guy is about 40) married a lady from Vladivostok area.  He is also a highly credentialed lawyer and I understand she is well educated and around his age also.  Oh my, you should see them together, are they a class act or what....!!!  My lawyer remarked to me, "I couldn't understand at first what he was seeing in a Russian woman, I thought he was mad, but when I first spoke to her by telephone, I understood immediately why he was so wrapped up in her". Kinda says it all.  The really classy guys are not necessarily looking for youth.

Don't look among the majority, look among the minority FWIW.  T/P seems to think he knows what all American men want and he may well be right, but from my observations, MOST MEN have NO IDEA what they want.  They are exactly what you should avoid.  You should, IMO look for a guy who knows exactly what he wants. They will only be found among the minority.

Very well said I/O! If someone looks to fit themselves into another's ideal they will not find happiness or fulfillment in their life.

Jazzy,

 I've known plenty of people in my life that believe if they repeat themselves constantly and are the loudest then they are right and they are the winner of any argument. What I see is that they are just proving to the world around them that they cannot be flexible in their thinking and they do not value any opinion but their own, unless it agrees with them, regardless of how often they try to qualify it with a "Were (I guess that was supposed to be "Where") have I ever said my way is the best or only way?" type of phrase.

 There is a song by the Refreshments called "Broken Record". Big Blue seems to have this disease in every thread lately.

Ken

[Jazzyclassy]

ok thank you Catzushka

[AnastassiaAsh]

Wow, it seems like several people are typing replies at this very moment!  What a live discussion we are having.

I think there is truth in all of the members' posts. And I agree with these seemingly different ways of looking at it. The question is - How will YOU look at it? What is YOUR dream? Is it realistic or not? What ever you desire in a woman/man are you YOURSELF ready to give it back to that man/woman? Are you genuinely confident in your fortes? It is YOUR life! It will be YOUR partner!
Yes, probably, my case is an exception. But I am sure that the women in this discussion can be very successful and make their life a beautiful exception!
The quality of love, devotion and attention that we, Russian women, can give to our future husbands is million times bigger, vaster, stronger, better yet just priceless in comparison to financial stability of average or higher than average AM. THAT ALONE should encourage sincere Russian women and make them more confident in this search. But RW should figure out and learn how to show all of this to an AM, open up and make it known. That's the trick. In a long distance relationship I think it is -language-. My university friends always say: "Anastassia, you are so lucky! Look at you! What a fairytale!". And I can't help smiling thinking, saying that No, this is not luck, this is the furthest from luck. This is called - work, work and work, something that very few want to do and that's why very few succeed. I even share the 'secret' of success with other Russian women I know and when I say -To have life and love that i have you have to do this, this, and this- they say OH, No, Anastassia, this is absolutely too much! I better just stay here..." This is how it all ends. That's why nobody, absolutely nobody from my girlfriends or their friends even dreams about finding a foreign husband.

Well, that was a little off the path thoughts  , but, ladies, Lilly, think about it some more. I don't know you really but looking at the picture and what others say about you, you are a total catch but just maybe in a wrong place, website or country. I always say - put your profile in different websites, target both US, Canada and Europe if you want. I know that finding someone just from GB or Germany or France is almost a 'suicide' because those countries cover the smallest territory, they are smaller than some states in the US, the choice is scarce, especially if you have high standards. Again, private experiences may be different, but this is the tendency that I see, having known and talked to MANY people.

[Dar]

Just saw the same topic but in russian at the Ladies section.
So....
I had some doubts to write or not my little story.
 I've read Anastassia's post here..... she is right, if you decided to look for a husband abroad and to be succesfull, you must put some efforts on that othervise it is gonna be a difficalt path.
There language skills are playing a first role. About myself, I never had official english lessons or classes. At the school I learnt German. Of course, I knew something like 10 words in english. This is what everyone probably knows
But I had a great disire to learn more.
I have met people on-line but was not kin at all in meetting someone from strange country. I ganed some good friends frough internet and it never was a problem to meet a man in my own country/city. Once I've been contacted by a foreigne guy who spoke perfect russian and worked in the city where I lived. I just got curious and answered to him.  Well, we dated almost a year. He also spoke english and I thought that is a good chance for me to practice with him. He encouraged my aspiration for that.
I bought some books and in a year I could speak at the basic level very easily.  As fate has willed, we broke up and now I am happy about that coz it gave me oportunity to meet my dear husband whom I love very much.
Anyway, I continued to work at my english because I had several reasons for this. As a lawyer I understood that knowing english will help me much more then German in the future career;  being in relationship with foregner once I wasnt going to even turn my head at the side of a russian man. Are you wondering why?
1. I always been atracted to the older men (my foreigne ex-boyfriend was 15 years older, russian guys 5-9) because I get bored with guys of my age. They have very limited subjects to talk about, most of them put their own interests and needs at the first place; handsome ones are not intend to marry in observed future 'coz they are already get everything they wish; there are some smart ones but they can not relax and just have fun or very untractive; there are some guys who are expect from their lady a strict obedience! she must stay most of the time home, cook and clean, take good care of a child and him. My friend's husband doesn't let her to contunue her degree at the university coz he is too jealous! this is rediculas and I am certainly not that kinda a woman.
I was looking for very inteligent, handsome, purposeful, creative, carring, romantic, responsible, independent guy.....  as I am. I couldnt find anyone who'd contain these  qualities.
2. I never was interested much in ukrainian folk music, traditions, movies made in in russia or ukraine. I am not great patriot of my own country, the governmant in particular either. World faimous clasic books and books writen by aithours from abroad is only books I fond off. So very quick I realised that strange culture will become my own in short time.
3. As soon as I graduated from college I became a student of law academy. At the same time I found a job and worked there 6 days a week. My free time was very limmited and most convinient way to date someone seemed to be "on-line". BThW, I'm interested in technologies so spending time at the PC is something I like to do.
I am purposeful girl, as mantioned before, so when want something a lot, finaly get it!
I visited 3 agencies at the same day. Left there my, in advance taken prpfessionaly, photos and filled out the profile information. I've got some letters, seen 2 guys in person. In a month and a half after my registration I've met my actual husband.
One of the agencies didn't have any letters for me, second one came up with only 1 letter. I was a bit upset first time, guessing I'm not very popular with the guys at the agences. But it was only third week. Soon that situation has
changed. The best agency, in my view, for fast and good resolt is Cindy agency in Dnepropetrovsk (in case if some guys read this ).
Our first conversation by phone lasted more then an hour! We exschanged letters every 1-2 days besides of the phone talks. Very quickly we knew each other very well, met in person in 2 month, then have met 2 times more and got marriesin 9 month after our first contact through agency. He is that kind of man whom I was looking for and we do know that whatever happens we made the right choice - to be together the rest of our life.
I continue to study english by myself coz believe that person should never stop at the achieved resolts; also began with spanish now. My husband and I have big plans about our future in private and even some buisnes areas and I want to give an advice to the women and men here, whatever happens continue to follow your dream and work hard at this. If you do, it certainly will become truth.
Good luck to everyone and thanks for reading this!

[KenC]

Dar,
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story here.  How long have you been married?
KenC

[Dar]

Now it is longer then a year. Unfortunately, I am still in  the Ukraine, interview for my green card is comming  very soon. So I keep my fingers crossed!

[Lily]

Dar, I am delighted to read posts like yours  You and me, I think we definitely improve the public image of lawyers 

Like you, I also have had a very short formal history of English lessons. But you do great! keep posting please 

[Turboguy]

I think we all are enjoying your posts Dar and we all wish you the best of luck in your upcoming interview and in your life in America.

[Dar]

Thank you, guys!
It was pleasure to read your coments!

[Dar]

Dar, I am delighted to read posts like yours  You and me, I think we definitely improve the public image of lawyers 

Like you, I also have had a very short formal history of English lessons. But you do great! keep posting please 

Yeah, Lily. Henry (my husband) told me he always hated the lawyers! But that up to that day when he has met me 

[rambo]

Dar, let me also express what a pleasure it is to read your posts. 

Wish you the best of luck with the interview and hope that you'll be able to join your husband soon in the States.

[HiTech]

Dar what does it take to use your education in the USA?

[Dar]

Dar what does it take to use your education in the USA?

At least one year credit when I attend law school in the US.
When I began my education I couldn't even image or think that will move out of the Ukraine. Othervise I would choose to study as an interpreter 
My life was planed 10 years ahead. Well, now I dont want to give it up, my education. As a lawyer I already studied International Constitution Law, about USA in particular so I know basics of legal system and some other things. Another things what keeps me at my school now is that it was difficult to become a student and government pays for my education.

[Lily]

Dar what does it take to use your education in the USA?

Can I answer?  A foreign qualifyed lawyer should take TOEFL and apply for a Master of Laws (LL.M.) degree in a U.S. law school or university. After he or she gets a LL.M., he or she should be eligible to sit for the bar in some states.

[jen]

Thanks for your comments, Dar!

I posted the original thread as part of some research questions I had asked the board here (you can see more about it under the "Projects" section).

I've been busy teaching my classes for the last month or so, but I am still trying to keep up here by at least taking a look every week or so. I'm hoping to be able to come back and participate soon.

Hi, everyone -- I really enjoyed our conversations over the summer and hoping to get back to more soon. If anyone has anyone questions/comment to share, I try to check my PMs pretty often.

Best wishes to all,
Jen