Question for the experts

[docetae]

Hi,  Total Newbie here

Been contemplating taking the plunge into looking in the eastern block for a woman of my dreams.  Just wanted a reality check from the experts on the board

I'm 39, (probably 40 or 41 when I finally decide to go or not) Divorced, 3 kids.  I wouldn't rate myself particularly good looking but no troll either. Pretty well off financially.  Been lurking here for a bit so I have read many of your posts and I am pretty ok with the requirements of what I may choose to embark on. 

I'm a pretty realistic person, Of course I would love a 21 year old trophy model but I also realize that is not going to happen an probably not something that would last long term.

Now the question I have,  I don't mind kids at all.  In fact I figure if I do decide to go this route I might as well make two people's lives better then just one.  (not to say these women are desperate or anything).  So do you think someone such as I would have better luck with women in their mid 20's to upper 20's with a child or a nice lady in their low 30's without

Just curious
Thanks in advance

Hello, I am 33, with young 3 children with me most of the time.  I have dated 3 women before finding the right one, one 24 years old without children, two 24 with one young son, and one 29 with one child. Finally I have found this is better to be with a woman who understand what having a child means. And I hope the best with the one who is 29 ...

[Jumper]

i guess unfortunantly,  I'll answer your question with a question!! 

 why those two particular parameters?
in that order?
(i think it would help in giving advice)
 
late 20's with children ,, low thirties without?


when  you understand the russian culture, youll realize a few things that cut against those two parameters..and thier order (in generalities of course)

*shrugs*

i really hate making generalizations on an entire population,
 as you can always find more excepotions than rules when it comes to human beings..LOL

that said:
RW are generally .,if married, going to have children,
it is more the whole point of the marriage , than it is in the west..
(not the entire point,, but you get the fundamental idea, and if you dont get it yet, her mother or grandmother will fill you in mister! )

and they are generally married by EITHER of the ages you dictated-
 or they are felt to be old maids
(again in general , and yes there are plenty of exceptions)

add those together and you have

Low to mid thirties WITH children would seeming  to be the most common and in your suituation most  reasonable, but you intentionally excluded it,..


i dont mean to offend, ,but it appears
from how the ages are presented ,,
you maybe willing to accept an additional child "if' the woman is younger
and not so accepting if she is little older..

thats certainly how the often very pragmatic RW would view your question..
and how its worded. .(and again *in general* they would read far more into it,
and its wording,  than a silly western man like myself LOL) 


 Honestly if you have the 3 kids often, and involved heavily in thier lives,
i advise you look at RW with children already,,
and as Lily said its thier personality that will matter ,not thier age..

and late twenties to your own age of 40  is a reasonable age group ?


 For some background, I'm your age,have a decent or at least fundamental understanding of the russian language , very happily married 4 years , my wife is 29 now (had no children, but wants some very much) and i have a now 11yo boy that i've always had sole custody. She is an absolutely amazing mother,
I'm incredibly proud of her and him..but if she had prior experience of a child of her own, it would have made blending a cross cultural family easier on all involved.

your RW mileage may vary, but i doubt it..
 
my two kopeks!..

[BradSTL]

So you want to learn russian? . . . rather brave decision to learn russian:)

No $h*t!!!!

How do Russians learn to speak russian, for that matter?

I wonder if using psychedelics would improve the process... acid-peyote, etc.

Lots of individual words can line up with English quite nicely... but PHRASES, SYNTAX... forget it!

Damndest venture I have ever undertaken!

[jb]

Deacon Blue

I am certainly not an expert when it comes to raising kids, I never had any of my own.  I didn't want to have to share my toys.   I do however, have some experience with a Russian mother, unless you are just a glutton for punishment I don't recommend it.

There are just a couple of things I don't understand from your post,,, 1st, why are you thinking right now of something that may or may not happen for a couple of years down the road?  You said, and I quote; "I'm 39, (probably 40 or 41 when I finally decide to go or not)", that, to me, doesn't make a lot of sense.  A man who is 39 y.o., and who is, quote, "Pretty well off financially" doesn't need to wait a year or two to get his life put together.   I suspect there is something else going on in your life if you have to put your personal life and happiness on hold for that long.  The worst possible motive for seeking a bride from the FSU is wishful thinking, be very careful of what you wish for.  2nd, unless you are near genius level, you can forget learning Russian fluently in 2 years. 

Just a couple of things to think over.

[Simoni]

Wherever I decide to look I WILL speak the language at least somewhat fluently

Deacon, as others have shared, becoming fluent in Russian is a tall order.

I spent July in the fsu.  If I add all my face time in the fsu for the last three years together, I've been in the fsu about 30 weeks.  I work in Europe a lot, and had many 10 day excursions into the fsu.  But most of the time came in the summers of 2006 and 2007.

I say all of this because it was in the face time that I learned the most Russian.  Yes, I did study three different language programs.  Yes,  Marina and I have a dozen expressions in Russian we share with one another on a daily basis.   And I even learn from Marina as speaks to our dog in Russian!  Yes, I do watch a lot of Russian movies and TV with Marina. But it's the face time where you learn the language most effectively.

How much do I know?  Squat!

This summer I did find myself understanding some of what was being said in conversations Marina had with friends.  I was able to say perhaps 50 words or expressions in Russian with her friends, which impressed and pleased them greatly!

My most fun time was with Marina's teenage Godson, who taught me lots of Russian "slang!"

So, your goal to learn Russian is on target, and you should "go for it."

But don't be disappointed at the slow pace.

Russian is NOT Spanish    LOL

[2tallbill]

Bill,
I was with you right up to your last statement and I very much disagree but that is a discussion for another thread. Now if yopu are refering to this gentleman directly then I agree.

TigerPaws

TP, I generally think that (with a few exceptions) that women are not ready to get married until they are 25 and
men are not ready until they are 30. Obviously there are exceptions, this is just my theory.

[2tallbill]

Hi,  Total Newbie here

Been contemplating taking the plunge into looking in the eastern block for a woman of my dreams.  Just wanted a reality check from the experts on the board

I'm 39, (probably 40 or 41 when I finally decide to go or not)

Get your ducks in a row first which means no credit card debt, if you need dental work, if your
children need a big ticket item get it done first. Hit the gym, learn a little Russian. Get some
photos done, have at least a few photos of you doing outdoorsy type things (unless you are a
shut in, then don't do it). Don't tell your ex-wife or her friends/mutual friends that you are
thinking about doing this.

What is your vacation time look like per year? Is your boss flexible, can you work extra Saturdays
for more time off?

If you only get two weeks per year, negotiate for more or get a new job or date local fatties
instead.

Lastly, this is not for procrastinators or for those who have difficulties making a decision.
Make goals with dates. Don't write a single girl until you have all your ducks in a row.

The OP is long gone, if you are a newbie reading this and you have a question. Ask it.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”.
Lao Tzu

He isn't wrong, because you won't get anywhere until you start. 

[EDIT TO ADD] The OP got on his horse and is now Married to an FSUW.