If the third time is the charm, will my ninth trip be exponentially better?

[Photo Guy]

Donna,
Same wavelength?   ...Hmmm.

jb wrote: 'No woman, no matter how pretty she is, is worth puttin' up with, to the extent you have discribed here. Just think, if you married this woman, you'd be in for a lifetime of this sort of disrespect. No kisses by the third or forth date equals no interest in the future on her part.'

You wrote:
'....- look for the reason in yourselves. Buffy is a typical representative of a landfill girl -  she humiliates herself infront of a man, nearly begging him not to meet others.

I think you agree that the relationship is bad, but for totally different reasons. You imply that after so many trips, he has not been successful for reasons within himself.  jb points to her behavior.
The perspective is different.  Are you really on the same wavelength?

[Turboguy]

[user=115]Donna_Pedro[/user] wrote:

And this is the 9th trip? Oh my... Nobody wants to admit it, but for those guys who have been in FSU over 3 times for the purpose of finding a wife  and still come back with no relationship 

It is sort of hard to win in this game in the eyes of others.    You make 9 trips and don't meet the right girl you are a whatever it is.   You meet one on the first trip or two and you are a something else.    I guess I was probably 0n trip 9 or more when I met my gal so I am one of those too. 

I think you and we are at the same point.   We all know that a K-1 is not in the future with this gal.   It is sad because I think you are very turned on by her.   At this point I am not sure what your options are but the agencies should be open and I think if it were me, I would be visiting them.   Make her see you around your schedule and you will get further.  You are not going to get far with her one way or the other.

[andrewfi]

I tend to agree with Donna. If one is focussed and whilst knowing what one wants, able to compromise, then I can not understand why 9 trips without meeting a woman that could become one's wife should be necessary. (OK fair's fair! He has had at least one fall on the last fence and another die before the finishing line! But even those suggest something is going wrong, not enough committment, bad choice, who knows?)

Scot's post does indicate some of the reasons why. He is not focussed enough, not goal oriented and whilst having a good time is having more of a holiday than a wife hunt. He is not the only one, but the only place he can look for answers is in the mirror.

Perhaps problems occur because not enough dating is happening in the US and so signs are being missed due to lack of practice or neediness, frankly from what we have been told, the last bint should have been given the heave-ho days ago. It only takes two dates (IMHO) to know if a woman is a shagging partner, friend, or potential wife. If it takes longer then something is going wrong.

This is not a holiday, it is work!

[Donna_Pedro]

 'No woman, no matter how pretty she is, is worth puttin' up with, to the extent you have discribed here. Just think, if you married this woman, you'd be in for a lifetime of this sort of disrespect. No kisses by the third or forth date equals no interest in the future on her part.'


I agree with this. And I think that he keeps making mistakes, missing red flags ( I am almost positive, that Andew is right - he has little dating experience locally).  Two "no - shows" (regardless the reasons)   plus this "begging" scene and it should be an instant signal to drop her. He is not "trained" to prioritize things.  He FALLS for girls instead of thinking and analyzing (which  shows that [user=291]stoichman[/user] has little practice dating).  Well at least he did not fall into complete delusion yet, where people start wanting to be   "knights and bordygards", which indicates that the case is not lost :cool:

Stop chasing Buffy, stoichman, if a woman is interested she will chase you.

 

[groovlstk]

One thing I've noticed in my admittedly limited experience w/FSU women is that there is a certain type of woman out there who will monopolize a man's visit even when she's not truly interested in him.

During my last trip, I met a woman (Elena) at the airport, from that moment on she did everything in her power to spend every available moment with me, and she seethed when I insisted on meeting a few other women I'd been writing to. Then, hours before my departure from Dnepr, she basically told me to flake off.

I noticed that Bruno's Galina acted the same way, wanting his attention and fealty for the entire length of his stay, regardless that she rejected his marriage proposal and never wanted to see him again after his departure.

Perhaps it's vanity or monstrous egos that need to be the center of attention, but it's pretty disgusting.

I hope for Scott's sake that Buffy's not like that.

 

[Photo Guy]

I think there are many women who get CRAZY when they learn you are dating other women. Many of these women are normally good and even exceptional people. It must be a biological thing, out of their control.  Doug

[Bruno]

I noticed that Bruno's Galina acted the same way, wanting his attention and fealty for the entire length of his stay, regardless that she rejected his marriage proposal and never wanted to see him again after his departure.

Perhaps it's vanity or monstrous egos that need to be the center of attention, but it's pretty disgusting.

It is the dog complex... the dog don't wish anymore his bone... but if someone try to take it, he can fight to the dead for keep it...

You don't see this only in RW... several Western women, when they are divorced, continue spy the man and try to sabotage each new relation that his ex try start... my ex ( she was russian ) have show more interest in me after the divorce that in our marriage time... since that woman can good use her body for manipulate us, i was obligate to change of city for try start a new life... same when i was in Ukraine, she have phone me and say that i cannot find a better russian woman that her...

Yep, this remember me a advice i have forget to say in my trip report... don't stay your russian number on your reply device when you make a trip... give it only to people you trust... this spare some problem because of phone call of ex-woman...

[GQBlues]

"...The agencies will not be open until Tuesday even if I wanted to meet someone new...."

 

WOW! I don't get this. I hope it isn't so. I thought Ukraine is crawling with women? Something's not right here....

I'm sorry Scott. I hope things turn around for you. But this thing you're having with this gal Buffy...Man, you sure can tolerate a heck of a lot more than I can ever do.

To be honest, the worst thing that can happen to you right now is have Buffy allow you to feed the beaver. Then, you're really *banked* until the river runs dry. Not a good thing.

I've never been to Ukraine so can someone please tell me if it's really that hard to meet women there? Christ, a man only need to be standing and breathing in Russia.....

Scott, I hope you understand what I'm saying. I really do hope things turn around for you.

Goodluck out there!

[anono]

i'm not sure of this, but i think scott gets easily led astray by someone with looks instead of actions..

i have been out with beautiful women who were intolerable witches...easy to dump. i have been out with some not so beautiful women who were a lot of fun to be with.

i finally met a beautiful woman who isn't a witch.

scott, i am not sure of this so please allow me a little room to say it, but i think you need to read a few of the dating manuals i mentioned in a now deleted TR. maybe "sperm wars" will give you some info.

you need to be a strong alpha male, the decision maker, a man who will not put up with disrespect. buffy has been showing you nothing but disrespect since day one. i do not care how taken you are by her looks, she is NOT a good lady. you have wasted DAYS sitting around doing nothing while she shows you who she really wants to spend time with. you come 6000 miles and have limited time. she listens to her roommate or a friend who complains she is always gone doing something else. her "friend" will be there long after you are gone and then she can spend all the time she wants with her friend. she has shown you her priorities and you are WAY down the list... 

that she says she is interested in you, even twice, means nothing. she can SAY anything she wants...it is her actions that matter...

i may be going out on a limb to say this, but your difficulty might be the way these women perceive you. i doubt buffy has much respect for a man so willing to let her walk all over him...

[andrewfi]

Thing is, it is always easy to be arnchair Cassanova. Scott is is a strange town with little or no language skills and frankly, when in that situation, I tend to hold on to that which I am a little familiar with. I am sure that many guys are the same and also pretty sure that this is why some guys come back full of enthusiasm for a woman who is at best ordinary, but who has given the guy the attention and support he needs when he was in a strange and stressful place.

For sure, from what we read, this latest bint needs to be elbowed away; but that will not solve the problem, just alleviate the symptom.

[Bruno]

Hey Scott... Are you always living ? ... no more news from you... and your trip... Is it again problem with the door ? ... Of maybe you stay at the appartment with a wonderful babe and have no time :D:D... Give us some news !!!

[stoichman]

June 19

Well I decide to spend the day alone and gather my thoughts.  I knew that last night when I spoke to Buffy I would not call her. 

Both the Athena and Cindy offices are closed today.  The gym is closed too.  So I spend most of the day in the Internet Cafe working on my theory.  After 4 pages I get bored with it and call it a day.

I eat at the Irish Pub and spend the rest of the day walking around.  Nothing exciting happens today.  I am still considering cutting the Ukraine trip short and coming back later for my tour of the other 5 countries.

Buffy does not call and I do not call her.

[stoichman]

June 20

I sleep in late and still I have no idea what to do.

I decide not to go to the gym in case I cut out of here early.  No way am I packing stinky gym clothes in my suitcase.  I have no idea when the owner can come and clean again, especially on such short notice. 

I asked to stay 5 more nights and I have no idea if I can get out of it or not.  Maybe I should just cut my loses and move on.

Harmony will be back in town again today.  Maybe I will spend some more time with her before I move on.  Nothing strong there, but you never know.

I walk around the park for the most of the afternoon.  I eat at Polit Buroe again, my favorite place here.  All 3 waitresses say goodbye to me at the same time with smiles and giggles to boot.  Maybe I am looking in the wrong place?

I walk down the "lovers' alley" and I get a text message from Harmony. 
She is at the river in one of the cafes.  She asks me to walk to her.  We agree to meet at the airplane monument.

I get there first and she shows up a few minutes later from the other direction.  We sit on a park bench and share some small talk for a while.

After about an hour it starts to rain.  So we start to walk towards the main strip together.  On the way she gets a phone call from work.  She will have to get on a train to Yalta in about 5 hours.

As we approach the "lovers' clock"  it really starts to pour down hard.  I suggest we go to my flat.  Harmony agrees.

Once we arrive I get some drinks and snacks for us.  I suggest a DVD and she says she like scary movies.  I have "Resident Evil" in Russian with English subtitles so I put that in.

We are enjoying the movie, Cokes, and HM&Ms with peanuts and about an hour into it my cell phone rings.

So before all of you get pissed that I forgot to turn it off, the only girls that have this number are Harmony and Buffy.  It can't be Buffy after I blew her off yesterday, can it?  After all it is like 10:30pm.

Harmony looks at me, like asking me, "Aren't you going to answer it?"  I simply shrug in response and pretend to be engrossed in the zombie flesh-eating monsters on the screen.  The ringing stops.

The cell phone rings again 60 seconds later.  This time I get up and move the cell phone into the other room.  I do not answer it, but it is Buffy calling both times.  Well, for not liking me she sure is persistent.  I put the phone on vibrate and leave it in the other room.  I return to Harmony and the movie.

A very quiet part comes on in the movie and sure enough, we can both hear the cell phone vibrate for a third time.  I guess I will have to talk to her.  So I take the cell phone into the hallway and talk to Buffy.

As she did the other day Buffy rattles off questions before I can answer.  "Why did you not call me yesterday?"  "Are you alone?"  "Don't you like me?"  
"What did you do for two days?"

I explain to her that I did not call her, because I do not believe she likes me.  She does not act like she likes me, I tell her.

Buffy explains that she wanted to be with her cousin yesterday because the cousin is moving to Kiev tomorrow.  The cousin wanted to spend time with her.  I talk to her for about 5 minutes more and tell her I will call her tomorrow.

Buffy asks again, "Are you alone?".  I say yes.  I am in the hallway alone, and it is none of her business anyways.

I return to the movie and it ends about 30 minutes later.  Harmony has to go home and pack.  I walk Harmony outside.  She does not want a taxi, since she is only 4 blocks away.  I walk her home and say goodnight.

I am in bed around 1am.

[stoichman]

June 21

I wake up and decide it is time to move on.

I get ready and go to the Cindy Agency office to find out it a flat is available in Dnepropetrovsk and it turns out, there are 2 I can have.

I tell them I will come today and ask the office worker to arrange a taxi for me.  I also take the time to write down the profile numbers of 5 ladies I would like to meet in Dnepropetrovsk and ask the office worker in Zap. to email them the list.

The taxi will cost about $25 which is much better than the $50 I paid for the airport pick up from Athena when I arrived.

I go home to pack and on the way I call the Athena office to tell them I am leaving.  They ask when.  I say, "In 3 hours."  So they tell me they will be at the flat in 2 hours.

I am packed and about an hour later both Irina and Svetlana arrive at the flat.  Together these two ladies are very funny.  We chat for the remaining hour before my taxi arrives.

I pay them the $240 for the last 4 days here in the flat.  I also get as a parting gift the bill of $55 for interpretation, 2 meetings, and for meeting me at the airport.  They ask me to pay it on the internet using the website when I get time.

The taxi gets here and I am on my way to Dnepropetrovsk.  I do not think I will miss Zap. at all.

I do not call Buffy to tell her I am leaving.

Once I get to Dnepropetrovsk the taxi driver stops to get directions to the office from the rest of his union buddies at a bus stop area outside the main city.  I even call the Cindy office and have the driver talk to the office ladies.  This guy pawns me off to another taxi driver stating he has no idea where to go.  Great.  I pay the guy the $25 and realize I am going to have to pay the new guy too.

As soon as we are in the main city center I am really shocked at the traffic.  I have never seen any like it over here anywhere.  This place feels like a big city.  The office is right on the main strip called Karl Marks.  The taxi pulls up to the building and about 10 minutes later, after a phone call up to the office my interpreter comes downstairs, her name is Vika.

Vika explains that she will work with the whole time I am here.  She takes me to my flat which is at the intersection of Karl Marks and Golgala, about a ten or 15 minute walk from the office.

Between the office and my flat there is a huge square with two large billboard size TV screens with a Mc Donalds near by.  Many people are there, it looks like a major hang out.

The second taxi ride was $8.

This flat is nice, a studio style, on the 15 floor.  There is an elevator though.  It has air conditioning, and is $35 a night. 

I have Vika show me where the gym is.  They knew I would want one.  It is only 5 or 10 minutes from my flat too.  We walk there together.  It costs $3 a day, and it is really for ladies.  But they do have a locker room for men, and some male clients.  The free weights are small in number and size, but since it so close I will try it for a while.  If I wanted another place I would have to take a taxi, Vika says.

It turns out I have lost my deposit for the other flat.  So I lost my $60 due to extending my stay in Zap.  I thought this would happen.  I pay Vika for 5 nights and state I may stay longer.

I tell Vika about my contact lens problem, and about my package sitting in Kiev customs with my old pair my house sitter sent me.  She says we will try to get something done tomorrow.  She also says I may be able to buy one here.  why did the girls in Zap. not offer this?

I walk around for about 2 hours and eat at Mc Donalds.  I call my American buddy that is in Kiev right now.  He is B2 from last summers' trip report I did.  We were going to meet in Dnepropetrovsk on June 17, but he backed out on Dnepropetrovsk due to all of the spam mail.  I must admit I was upset too, even more now that I know they have air brushed photos too.  It does not take a Cosmetic Engineer to figure out the things this covers up.  I may meet him in Kiev for a day or two if I move on from here to Crimea later.

I am in bed around 11pm.

 

[stoichman]

Zaporphye Wrap Up
14 nights in total
A few statistics
Flat cost = 14 X 60 = $840
Number of first dates = 4
Number of second dates = 2
Number of third dates=3
Number of fourth dates=1 
Cost of meetings at Athena =  2 x $10 = $20
Cost of meetings at Cindy Agency = 1 x $15 = $15
I was not charged to meet Amy since I wrote her 
Number of dates scheduled, cancelled, and I never met them = 3
shortest date = 3 hours
longest date= date one with Buffy
Number of girls needing interpreter = 3 of 4
Cost on interpreters = $70 about 7 hours worth
Spending money so far= $490 This includes food, taxi, internet, addition cell phone credit and chip, and gym fees. About $35 a day.
Number of disco nights = 0
Number of Alka Seltzer used = 2
Most expensive date = around $45, date one with Buffy
Cheapest date =$20
Number of smokers = zero
Most expensive meal for two= $25

[Bruce]

Scott - by the way, were there alot of Zaphorghitz cars in Zap? 

Well, it turns out Buffy was a loser and its good you figured it out and moved on.  I was hoping things would turn out better for you two since you were attracted to her. 

I hope your next city turned out better.  Either your whole trip was a downer or you are just playing us all for the grand ending.  I sincerely hope things picked up for you.

[525i]

Scott, why do you watch movies with women? If I were in your shoes, I would definately chat with them. Harmony has not been around for a long time because of her job and now you saw her, but you watch a movie with her. It looks like you did not like her enough to know her better.

[stoichman]

[user=266]525i[/user] wrote:

Scott, why do you watch movies with women? If I were in your shoes, I would definately chat with them. Harmony has not been around for a long time because of her job and now you saw her, but you watch a movie with her. It looks like you did not like her enough to know her better.

 

We did talk as much as the language barrier allowed us, she is maybe a 1.5 in English, with 5 being the best.  The movie gave us something in common to enjoy, since it was in Russian, with English subtitles.  But you are also right, I was not too attracted to her.

[stoichman]

June 22

I wake up and go to the gym after breakfast.  I basically have the whole place to myself.  When I am close to being finished a few ladies begin to use the leg equipment.  This causes me to slow down my own work out.

I call Cindy Agency on my way back to to the flat and it appears I will have 2 meetings today out of the 5 I selected.  Cool.

I get dressed for my meetings and decide to go to the office, which I have not seen yet, to determine what can be done about my contact lens situation.  I have to iron on the kitchen table, there is no ironing board in this flat.  Weird.

I arrive at the office and find it to be a two room place.  It has only one door separating the two rooms, but also has sliding windows, non-see through, so that the back room can over look the front one.  There seems to be a lot of letter translation going on in the back room.  There are a few cuties doing this work.  I do not recognize them from any of my searches.

The lady running the show (but not the owner), I believe her name is Katia, is a real wizard at problem solving.  She finds the phone number for FedEx right away, but then is pawned off a few times by the ones answering the phone.  Soon she gets a hold of the person that handles the customs problems in Kiev where my old pair of contact lens are in limbo.  she will have an answer soon she says.  Katia also says that she wears contact lens and knows where I can get one here.  She will continue to work on my problem.

Why could none of this happen in Zap?

Vika, my interpreter, shows up a while later and soon we are waiting for my first girl to arrive.  She works until 5pm so she will be here around 5:30pm

She is about 10 minutes late, and we will call her Dawn, once again evidence of air brushed photos are apparent, but she is still rather cute.

We go to a cafe off the main strip to eat.  Not sure on the name, but it was OK food.  Dawn had a salad and I had some kind of pork meal with potatoes.  All the meals here were slightly more than the ones in Zap. and it came out to about $25.

Dawn is one of the many girls here with a degree in economics and she works in a bank.  She has a really great spunky personality and I am sure I want to see her again.  Dawn enjoys the photos I always bring to my first meeting, and I also discover that she peaks some English.  

We go for a walk after the meal up and down the main strip.  It comes close to the time to meet my second girl and Vika works her magic. 

Vika never mentions that I am meeting other girls.  I believe she said I was going to the gym.  Vika arranges a second date for me with Dawn for tomorrow, it seems Dawn is happy to have this second meeting. 

After saying goodbye to Dawn I ask Vika about this, and she said yes, it is true.  She does not like to tell the ladies that her clients see other girls.  She does not like to lie, but if she can come up with some other excuse, she will use it.

We walk back to the office and my second date arrives to the door a few minutes later.  We will call her Cordelia.  She is really a cutie.  I am a bit smitten from the get-go.

We walk to a mall type place with indoor shops, and it does look a lot like an American mall.  It has a food court on the second level.  We sit up there and have some ice cream.  I show Cordelia my photos, she is much more shy than most of the girls I have met so far, but it is almost endearing to me.

It turn out she has a degree in chemical engineering, so we have a connection there.  I also find out that she lives about 45 minutes away by minibus, in a suburb of Dnep.

I know I want to see this girl again, and it seems she likes me too.  She misses the last mini bus home so after about 3 hours of talking, so I get her a taxi home.  Vika arranges another date with Cordelia for tomorrow also.  So it looks like I will have 3 dates tomorrow.

After saying goodbye to Cordelia I chat with Vika.  Cindy agency likes to be paid on the spot for everything and they even have these little receipts they give you.  So I pay for both meetings and the interpretation.  I ask Vika what she thought.

Vika said both girls liked me since they both stayed with me for as long as they could.  She said that if the girl does not like the man she will find an excuse to leave after one hour. 

Also both agreed to second meetings.  Vika said that they get so many clients in this city that the girls do not agree to meet you again unless they have interest.  There is always a new man to meet, Vika says.

Good to know.

It is late already so I go home and I am in bed around 11pm.     

[stoichman]

June 23

I start the day like so many others, breakfast, and then the gym.  I am in a bit of a hurry since I sleep late.  I have 3 meetings today.

Cordelia, and new girl, and then Dawn.

I get out of the shower and I get a phone call from the office.  Cordelia has to cancel.  She works in a documents department for some government agency and has to go to Kiev.  I was really looking forward to our meeting.  It gets even worse, she will be gone until Sunday and that is the day I am to leave, I have to get to Kiev myself for Phase II of the Contact Lens Solution.

Phase II, you ask?

Phase I of the Contact Lens Solution, is my old pair sitting in customs in Kiev.

Phase II is a new right contact lens my house sitter bought for me and overnighted to a guy from russianmeetingplace forum.  He is leaving for Kiev on Thursday and I am going to get it from him on Sunday in Kiev, if it makes it to him in time.

I even offer to come and see Cordelia now, she is in the office.  But she has to go home and pack.  She made a special trip to the office just so that I would know what is going on.  She seems sad to miss our meeting.

Do I extend my stay here to see Cordlia again?  I begin to consider it.

Speaking of Phase I of the Contact Lens Solution, Katia has some news for me when I get to the office.

Those of you that have never been here before will most likely not believe this one, those of you with experience will nod you head and say, "This is Ukraine."

It appears my old pair of contact lens is stuck in Kiev customs because they are considering it medication.  That's right- medicine.

If I want to get them I must complete 8 simple steps.

1. fill out a form to get approval from a doctor
2. get approval from a Ukraine doctor
3. get approval from my American doctor
4. get forms 1-3 notarized in Ukraine.
5. hand these into the Kiev customs office with another application
6. fill out a form to pick it up in Kiev since it is addressed to Zap.
7. send a form to FedEx in America explaining all of the above
8. bring copies of all of the above to Kiev when they contact me to pick it up

And it goes without saying that each step above will cost me between $20 and $50 to complete.  And I am sure each will go faster with a bribe here and there.

So Phase I of the Contact Lens Solution is dead.

I hope Phase II of the Contact Lens Solution goes well and this guy get the overnight package so I can get it in Kiev from him.

While sitting in the office the new girl calls and cancels.  So three dates is now down to one.  I also find out 2 of my original 5 are out of town so I begin to look for more ladies on their website.

As I do this I notice that Katia is on the phone a lot.  I know enough Russian, and observe enough, to safely assume that she is reading letters from men over the phone to the ladies, and then she writes down their response, in a kind of shorthand.  Then this goes to the ladies in the back room who translate and write the letters.  Neat operation.

But this totally crushes the image of a beautiful Ukrainian lady rushing to the office to receive our soul filled written letters and then gleefully writing a response with a flush face and warm heart.

Some ladies do come into the office to pick up letters though, I see this also.

I pick one more lady to meet and then Dawn arrives a few minutes later.  Vika is already there so we leave right away.

We eat at another cafe on Karl Marks and once again the bill is around $25.  Dawn has a lot of new questions for me.  She seems to have a real interest, which is really nice.  I will need a few more meetings for me to decide this.  Especially with no interpreter.

So after the meal I suggest walking down to the river.  I have not seen the river here in Dnepropetrovsk yet.

On the way there we pass a hospital for delivering babies.  It is a cool custom here for the men to write messages to their wives on the sidewalk in front of the building.  They write things in chalk for their wives to see like, "thank you for giving me a wonderful daughter" with the date and such, with heart shapes to boot.  They make sure to write it where the lady can see it from her window.  

It turns out that the river area in Zap. is nicer and I think it is because of the Cossack island there, Khortitsa.  The island makes for a nice view, very green, with many trees.  The view here in Dnepropetrovsk is all city, not much green.

I suggest that Vika leaves so we can walk on our own.  Before she leaves Vika asks about meeting me tomorrow, and it turns out Dawn has a graduation party to go to tomorrow.  So I will have to ask the office to set up a future date with her later. 

So Vika takes off and Dawn and I continue our walk.  We hold hands and share some nice moments together by the river.  dawn has a level 2 English (out of 5) I would say.

I get Dawn a taxi about 1.5 hours later and I walk home, and I am in bed around 11:30pm.     

[stoichman]

June 24

I wake up and realize that I have no meetings for today.  This simply will not do so I rush off to the gym after breakfast, get back to the flat and dress for a meeting.  I hope I can go to the office and get one lined up.

Once I am in the office Katia gets on the phone to the new lady that cancelled on me the day before.  I discover that she also cancelled on me the night I arrived.  She was scheduled to meet me then.  Katia promises she will show up today at 3pm.

Katia has more good news since she gave Vika the address of the place where I may be able to get a new contact lens.  It is actually right down the street.  I run back to my flat and get the ripped lens and my left lens.  Vika and I head out for the eye doctor.

This place is in one of those large indoor flea market mall looking places.  Each store is housed in what looks like a large stall for a horse or something.  Some stores are only 10 X 10, and some are much larger, but there never really is anything that looks like a wall.  The separation could be a gate, or partial wall, but hardly ever anything that goes up to the ceiling.  Sometimes it is hard to see where one store ends and another begins.  This place is hot as hell inside, and has at least 4 floors.

We manage to track down the doctor and she is in a space that looks more like, and feels even more like a closet once you are in it.  Actually it could have been a closet at one time.

I show her the ripped one, and she states she will not be able to tell anything from it.  She will have to examine my eyes.  It takes all of 15 minutes for her to do this.  She notices that I have astigmatism and says she does not have a lens for this. 

Next I am put in front of the eye chart and she has those really old fashion goggles I wear over my eyes while she manually put the lens in one at a time.  I can not read Russian, so it is really fun to try and say what I can see, since I do not know the letters at all.  Vika finds this all rather amusing, as she trys to translate between the two of us.

The doctor has something close to what I need, but it will not correct the astigmatism perfectly.  I say I will try it, since my glasses are driving me absolutely nuts.

I put the lens in.  I can see OK, but it is not totally comfortable.  I decide to buy it, especially after hearing the price of $15, which includes the exam.

Once again I wish this could have been done in Zap.  I totally wasted $124 having my old pair overnighted to Ukraine, only to never receive them.

Vika and I make it back to the office and I have time to check my email.  The guy from russianmeetingplace got my lens one hour before he left for the airport.  So I will be able to pick up my new lens in Kiev from him.  If I stay too long in Dnep.  I will have B2 (my friend from America) get it from him, since B2 will be in Kiev until July 5.

I mess around on the Internet in the office until my date arrives.  We will call her Kennedy.  She speaks English, so we we leave right away.  She looks like the photos in her profile and she did not need the air brush effect at all.  She looks great.

Kennedy is too silent for my taste at first.  Maybe she is shy, or in a hurry.  but there is not much small talk at first.  I tell her I am hungry, so she turns to a street behind Karl Marks that runs parallel to it.  She suggests pizza, but I say I would rather have Ukrainian food, so we go to a small place next to the pizza joint.

This new place is one of those cafeteria style places.  I enjoyed one of these places in Odessa I always went to when I was alone.  The food is warm and ready to go, no waiting.  The food is really cheap too, and usually good. 

This place is no different.  The food is good, not excellent, but good. 

Kennedy starts to talk more once we sit.  I get the feeling that she is somewhat indifferent to the whole process, like she has be in the agency a while, and has been frustrated by it all.

My assumption is correct, she has been in the agency almost two years, and has not liked any of the men she met.  I asked her why she cancelled on me twice.  She said she was not able to see my photos and wanted to see them first, since she is often disappointed in the men .  Kennedy said if she had seen them she would have never cancelled on me.  I asked her why she agreed today and she states that Katia told her I was good looking on the phone today.

Kennedy is going to the seaside tomorrow with some friends.  Saturday is a holiday and so is Tuesday, so it makes for a nice long weekend.  I show her my photos and we share some good conversation, the meeting is going better than it started.

After the meal we walk past the agency in the opposite direction of my flat.  I have not walked this way yet.  Soon we cut across the street near the "Lovers fountain" (every city here has a Lover something) and soon we find ourselves in a park.

This park is called Global Park she said.  It had an older name I guess, but this is the new one.  There is a huge pond with different types of watercrafts available for fun.  They had the paddle boats where you peddle like a bike and some bumper type boats too.  Kennedy suggests the peddle boats, but I say no, it is way too hot still.

She drags me to another ride, and this time I say yes.  It looks like the Octopus type ride you see at every state fair in America.  However Kennedy decides to point out how old and unkept the ride is after it starts.  And sure enough it looks like something out of Soviet times. I can see the bolts shake and hear them rattle, and I see what appears to be quite a bit of spot welding.  Are those CSI body outlines down there near those red paint spills?

After this ride we make our way over to the go-carts.  This should be fun.  I had no idea I paid for only one lap for $2 and I went around twice before they flagged me in.  So I had to pay $2 once I got back to Kennedy who was surrounded by three male employees.  Silly American.

We walk around the park some more and soon she is looking at a movie poster for "Mr. and Mrs Smith" and she asks if I want to see it.  I say sure, I always like a good movie.  I did mention at diner that I have seen movies in Russian before in other cities here.

The movie was OK, but I did not catch all of the one liners, so I will have to rent it later.  After the movie we walk some more.

She starts asking questions about money and salaries in America.  I do my best to answer them, but I was only guessing.  She asked about average salaries, poverty information, salaries in different states, and many more money related questions.  It turned me off sorta.  45 minutes of money questions.

The date came to an end about 1.5 hours later and she gave me her phone number and told me to call her when she gets back in town.  I am fairly certain I will not.

I get back to my flat and in the lobby there is a meeting of the "babushka police".  It looks like they are having a candle light midnight secret meeting in the "babushka office" on the ground floor.

It soon clicks in my head.  No power.  And sure enough one of the senior members of the  "babushka police" stops me and says "Lift ne rabotet" or "elevator does not work".

No problem, I am thinking to myself, I am only on the 15th floor.

She trys to stop me again to warn me there are no lights either.  I pull out my magic wand (see trip report from last summer) which is a keychain flashlight, that has saved my butt many times over here in many dark places.  I show this to her, and they all giggle and send me on my way to the stairs.

The stairways here are horrible, and they are even worse in places with working elevators because they get even less attention and cleaning.  I can not describe to you the smells and sights I came across.

I saw many body fluids, unidentified insects and rodents, smells that seem to come from no where, long metal spikes came out of the walls for no apparent reason.  The heat started to get to me around floor 3 since there are no window in this stairwell either.  I am in long pants so I am a sweaty mess by floor 5.  What made it worse is that B2 called on floor 6.   I am already out of breathe, but for some dumb reason I decide to chat anyways. 

So picture if you will a sweaty mess of an American walking up a windowless stairwell for 15 floors, no light at all other than a keychain flashlight, talking on his cell phone to another American in Kiev, while trying to avoid puddles of who knows what, and gagging at the smells around every corner.

I get to my flat and manage to get in only because of my flashlight and walk into a pitch dark studio room.  And all at once this question scares me to death.

How am I going to be able to get my contact lenses out and clean them with a flashlight you must constantly press a button on to use?

Well I did it, it was not easy.  Guess what happen 2 minutes after I was done?

Yep, the power came on.

I take a shower and go to bed.

[stoichman]

June 25

Today I have meetings with 2 new girls.  I am scheduled to leave tomorrow for Kiev to pick up my contact lens.  And from there, I have no idea.  Such is the life of the nomad.  I will not leave Ukraine until July 16.

I get back from the gym, shower, and dress for my meetings.  I go to the office a little early so I can try to buy a ticket on aerosvit.com for my flight to Kiev.

It turns out there are no seats left for tomorrow, so I must stay here in Dnepropetrovsk.  I ask the office staff if this is OK, and they say I can stay in the flat until Tuesday.  On Tuesday a new guy checks in and I will have to change flats then if I want to stay longer.

Vika arrives a little while later and she says if we have time today we will go to a ticket agent.  Maybe they can book me or at least get a ticket for another day.

My first date arrives and once again the air brushed photos make a remarkable difference.  We will call her Cassie.  She is still very cute and sweet, but the photos are misleading to say the least.

We decide to have lunch so Vika, Cassie, and I go to a cafe off of Karl Marks.  It has air conditioning and I ask them to turn it on.  It is quite hot now here at 1pm.

Cassie works as a telephone operator and did go to tech. school for this job.  She works weird hours sometimes since they change her shifts from week to week, and even day to day , sometimes.

Cassie is sweet, but Vika starts to get annoyed with her since she takes so long to answer questions.  I notice it, and Vika later suggests to me in private that maybe Cassie is a little slow all around.  I think she may be shy, that is all.

It is close to the start of my other date so we begin to arrange a second meeting for us.  Due to her strange hours I will see her again tomorrow, but after that it may not be possible for a few days due to strange working hours.  So I will see her again tomorrow at 1pm.

Back at the office I pay for one more night in the flat and suggest that if I am staying I should see Cordelia again since she returns tomorrow. 

They all agree and Katia calls Cordelia on her cell phone in Kiev and she agrees to meet me tomorrow night.  Cordelia is happy I stayed longer and wants to see me again.

Vika says, "What about Dawn?"  So they call her also, set up a meeting between Cassies' and Dawns', so I will have 3 dates tomorrow.

I ask about laundry, and they have no service available.  Viga gets on the phone and find a laundry service nearby.  They are closed on Mondays so we must do it tomorrow.  We will try to fit that in as well, after all I only have 3 dates tomorrow.  Sounds like a full day.  And I still have no ticket for Kiev either.  The internet is so slow it is useless right now in the office.

My other date shows up in the office now, and we will call her Sam.  She speaks perfect English so we are on our way alone.  Vika is happy to have free time now.  She is stuck with me all day tomorrow on her day that is normally free, tomorrow is Sunday.

Sam is really shy, she admits to having no dating experience at all really.  I would even go so far as to call her skittish.  She is graduating from college tomorrow with a degree in robotics, and studying took up all of her time for the last 4 years. 

Sam is brand new in the agency but did meet one other guy today already.  They had a second date.  She begins to ask me some questions about black people in America.  I thought this was weird, but she soon explained why she asked.

The other man she met gave her a book on their second date.  The title is "White Flight", and no, the title is not misleading.  It has to do with white people fleeing America for Europe due to the increase in the number of non-whites in America.  The cover even has graphics just in case one did not understand the title.  This graphic shows the country of America with little airplanes flying over to Europe on little dotted lines with one way arrows.  Not your normal second date gift.

I just had to know, so I did ask.  The man has a German heritage.

Sam is a sweet girl, and I hope she throws the book away.

I spend close to 5 hours talking to her.  We really hit it off well.  The major part of our date was spent in Global park, where we sat on a park bench, and had ice cream.  I showed her my photos as we talked.

We stop for pizza, which was really bad.  In the pizza place she asks to take one of my photos to show her Mom.  I let her pick the one she wants and she takes it with her.  I may not see her again due to her graduation tomorrow, but we exchange phone numbers anyways.

I argue about a taxi for her.  She does not want me to spend the money, but I insist since it is after 11pm.  Finally she agrees.

So far things are much better for me here in Dnepropetrovsk than in Zaporophye.  I only wanted a second date with 1 out of 4 girls in Zaporophye, but in Dnepropetrovsk I want to see 4 out of 5 again.

Off to bed for me, it is midnight.

[Michelangelo]

I am appreciative of these posts and reading about Stoich's experiences.  In many ways, it puts my four trips to Ukraine in perspective and makes me feel much better about the "luck" I had!  His letters also remind us that we should have backup plans in place and to bring an extra set of contacts!  I did, and needed them on my last trip.

Also, note the discussion of locks!   I'll add another point--the apartment building also has a strange combination lock.  The code is usually five numbers.  The lock has raised circles with numbers on them, and you have to push all 5 numbers at the same time for the lock to open.  It is hard to do at first!  Practice this before you have to unlock the door in the dark at midnight!

[stoichman]

June 26 (day 21 of trip)

Today is Sunday so the gym is closed.  Vika will meet me here at my flat so we can take my  "glazniya billio" (dirty laundry) to the cleaners.

She is on time, as she always is, and we are off. 

The place ends up being behind the main strip and only 3 blocks from the office.  So this works out OK since I will have to pick it up later somehow between my three meetings today.  It will cost less than $2 to have it done, but they may not get to dry all of it they said, since I need it back today.  No problem.

I will meet Cassie, then Dawn, then Cordelia.

Cassie is on time and we go to a cafe and have some salads.  Cassie is much more open than yesterday.  She seems more on the ball.  I guess she was just shy yesterday.  I would love to see her again, but she is working some weird shifts the next few days, like graveyard shifts.  The meeting is brief, only about 2.5 hours.  Vika and I need to go back to the laundry before they close at 5pm, and still try to make my 5pm meeting with Dawn.  I will not see Cassie again unless I extend my stay here, or come back after Kiev.  That is what Vika tells Cassie before I leave.  I will have the office call her if I decide to come back or stay longer.

We take a taxi to the laundry so we can take the same taxi back to my flat to drop it off and then take it to meet Dawn.  My laundry is almost dry.  The lady begins to pack it up for me, and explains what is dry and what is not. 

Back to the taxi and it takes all of 5 minutes to get to my flat.  We rush up to the 15 floor (using the elevator, of course) and hang up the wet stuff around the flat where ever we can.  Then run back to the taxi and head off for the office once again.

Dawn walks in about 5 minutes later.  The three of us head out and go to the Global park together.  We get ice cream and drinks and find a cool place to sit in the shade.

Dawn brought me a little gift.  It is a key chain with all of the zodiac signs on one side, and four symbols on the back.  The four symbols are: love, wealth, health, and spirit, if I remember correctly.  It was very cute since she had a little "speech" she prepared for me (in English) in presenting it to me.  I was quite touched.

Dawn was a little upset I had only 2 or 3 hours to be with her.  But Vika once again gave an excuse so that she would not know I was seeing other girls.  I have no problem telling them the truth, but Vika insists on giving half truths.  I think she used the laundry as an excuse.

I make plans to see Dawn again tomorrow in the evening.  So it looks like I will stay at least one more day in Dnepropetrovsk.  Vika and I streak back to the office to meet Cordelia.

Cordelia arrives about 10 minutes after we do.  She looks great and I am sure I will try to see her again tomorrow, even though this date just started.

We find a little cafe to eat at, and Cordelia is tired since she just got out from a long car ride from Kiev a few hours ago.  We have a nice meal and then go far a walk. 

I want to try being with Cordelia alone so I suggest that Vika goes home.  Vika is happy to do so, and Cordelia says it is OK too.  I suggest we go to the city center near Mc Donalds where they have a big stage set up for the "holiday of young people" from yesterday.  It looks like they will have another concert tonight.

Before Vika leaves I make plans to see Cordelia again tomorrow and I want to see the other park with the chapel in it.  They know which park I mean, and she agrees so it is a date. 

I also make plans to meet Vika earlier than Cordelia tomorrow so we can go to the ticket agent for plane tickets.

Cordelia and I walk over to the stage and there are tons of people, and most are drunk.  Beer bottles are everywhere with many people slipping on them as they try to dance.  Cordelia does seem too into it so I suggest we walk down to the river after about 40 minutes of watching the concert.  She agrees. 

I guess she would not do too well at the Nine Inch Nails and Puddle of Mudd concerts I go to back home.

There is way too much quiet as we walk.  She knows like zero Englsih, and on top of it she seems awfully shy.  Maybe she is bored.  I try to speak as much Russian as I can, but it is a tuff go at it.

We walk down to the river and enjoy a moonlight night walk for about another hour.  I ask if she wants a taxi, and I get her one.  The taxi drops me off first at my flat, and then takes her since she is off in a suburb about 30 minutes away.  I will see her tomorrow again.

I am in bed around midnight again.

[andrewfi]

Actually the book to which you refer is not quite what you suggested.

It is a satirical novel based upon the premise of repatriating all minority groups to the places from which they or their ancestors came. It is not about the 'White Flight' phenomenon being experienced in the US, excpet in as far as the repatriation plan outlined in the novel would tend to reduce the perceived need for whites to find like minded and skinned people in their own country, or others.  The book is quite clearly satirical, pointing a finger at attitudes held by many Americans, of all races, and allowing the reader to draw the author's intended conclusion.

Dunno why the guy would have given this book to a young girl in Ukraine, but I reckon he is not a white supremacist, unless he is so dim that he is unable to detect the messages of the book.