Hi I'm new here and any information or help is welcome!

[Mir]

Every once in a while I see a movie based on a true story of the actions of great men who lead by example. I like to learn from those type of men. Anybody seen "Gettysburg" and "We Were Soldiers". Both movies featured Colonels that were truly great men. Their troops admired and respected them. Watch the movie to see why. Ask yourself how you measure up to those men?

Yes heroes are perfect, as long as they are in a movie. Real life is not as black and white, there are many shades of grey. The more we know about a person, the less he will appear to be a hero.

[BillyB]

Mir, I didn't say those guys are heroes or perfect. They are great men based on the way they inspire and act towards the men below them and treat men fair no matter race, color or background they come from. Their success with people and in life is based on the men they are. Watch the movies for yourself to see what I'm talking about. Whether or not the "based on a true story" movie is true or not, a guy could still learn from a movie, or the great leaders that exist currently or in the past.

[Son of Clyde]

We need to set up an RWD beer and bowling party so we can slap each other on the back, call each other pet names, and talk about things unrelated to RWD.

[Son of Clyde]

[BC]

It seems quite natural in any gathering for folks to divvy up into groups of folks that identify with each other more closely.

When I first stumbled across RW related fora there were those that had been there, those that are there, and those that wanna be there ('there' being where I wanted to go).

My focus has, and will continue to be on those that are 'there'.

[Vaughn]

What seems like common sense to some is lunacy to others....

[BC]

What seems like common sense to some is lunacy to others....

'Common sense' did not come from nowhere.. It is derived from successes of the majority.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Chris,

Based on Turbo's experience, advice and ultimate success I'd say "to hell with how you dress". Turbo knows you're a nice guy because he KNOWS many things.  Often though he might know something and not accept it or understand it... but that's not the point.

Turbo spent 10 years and many many trips before "he found what he was looking for", so he is vastly more experienced than any of us. He is "the man" when it comes to success in this field.

If you want to listen to Turbo or others of his ilk you are more than welcome.  You too can search for a decade and participate in deception and lies...  You too can meet a woman for a few days at the end of one of your "adventures" and then work desperately not to return to her hometown. (Why someone who loves FSU so much that he traveled there regularly for a decade wouldn't want to spend time at home with his fiance is beyond me).

You can be almost anything you want to be but one assumes you're not aiming to follow such a depressing path.  ???

You may not like some of the advice you get here but trust me (and I am saying this from experience)... if you can decipher the value in the "difficult" posts (those that make you feel uncomfortable) you can be successful.  If you like everything sugar coated you'll have to accept the dumb decisions you'll make and you'll find this journey infinitely more difficult than you could have ever imagined.

Turbo could write a great book one day... 

"How I Searched for 10 Years and Succeeded, and Failed, and Searched and Succeeded, and..."

Oops...  looks like there might be a sequel!

Kuna

Kuna, you seem to be the resident expert as far as you are concerned.  I see you regurgitating advice that others have said.

I would like to know more about your "exprience" in picking a compatible mate.

How long have you lived with your fiance?  From what I read she just moved to au.
How long did you spend with her before she came over?
Does she speak english fluently?
How many times have you been to see her?



I think I already know the answers but would like to hear them from you since you seem to be the all knowing. 


I wasn't going to post on this board but couldn't help myself seeing all of your posts attacking others.


To be fair in this, I will post a little about my experiences.

I have known my wife for over a year and half.
I have lived with her in Ukraine for the past 7 months.
She speaks fluent english.
We talked everyday for hours before I even came here.
We were not looking for partners when we first met online.  We became best of friends first then lovers.

Now I won't be posting comments on how to make a marriage work because I just got married.  Seems pretty reasonable since I am still figuring it out and have a lot to learn.  I do like advice from people that have been married for awhile.  I would take advice from KenC, JB, Richard, GregFromGa and some others here regarding making a marriage work. 

So the real question I am asking is why should people take your advice regarding picking a good mate?


Waiting with anticipation.


Thomas

[Turboguy]

Welcome to RWD Thomas.   Congratulations on your recent marriage and I am glad you have decided to do some posting here.   

[LiveFromUkraine]

Welcome to RWD Thomas.   Congratulations on your recent marriage and I am glad you have decided to do some posting here.   

Thanks Turbo.

Thomas

[ScottinCrimea]

Thomas, welcome to RWD.  From what you have written, it appears that you are right where I was about 3 years ago.  I also met my wife online and we communicated for about a year before I went to visit her. I then made 4 trips over the course of the next year before deciding that I wanted to move to Ukraine.  I lived there for about two years and my wife and I have been married for about 1 1/2 years.  I've been back in the States for a little over 6 months and my wife has been here about a month.  Our goal is to stay in the US for a couple of years before alternating back and forth and then eventually settling for good in Ukraine.

I'm curious as to where in Ukraine you live and why you decided to move there.  How are your Russian language skills?  Are you dealing with a lot of the cultural adjustment issues that I went through?  I'm not sure I could handle those first 7 months again.

I'm also curious as to why you would choose to make your first post to challenge another member rather than an introductory "I'm here to learn and to help others" post.  I will comment on that by saying that most of the answers to the questions you have asked of Kuna can be found in his initial posts on this board and in his TR.  Sure his opinions can be worded pretty strongly sometimes, but you will find that for the most part he limits his opinions to those areas where he has some experience.  For example, on the issue of bringing his lady home, how to help her adjust and how life is living with an RW, he has not offered opinions but instead sought advice and has been very open to the ideas of others here who have that experience.  In contrast, you will find some here with only limited or very poor experiences who will claim authority on any and every topic.  It takes time to weed out who knows what they are talking about and who doesn't.  Don't judge a poster solely on their manner of presentation as some of the best advice has come in a very loud voice and some of the worst has come in soft sweet tones.

I look forward to hearing more from you as I think we have some common experiences that we can share.

[Son of Clyde]

Thomas, very nice post.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Thomas, welcome to RWD.  From what you have written, it appears that you are right where I was about 3 years ago.  I also met my wife online and we communicated for about a year before I went to visit her. I then made 4 trips over the course of the next year before deciding that I wanted to move to Ukraine.  I lived there for about two years and my wife and I have been married for about 1 1/2 years.  I've been back in the States for a little over 6 months and my wife has been here about a month.  Our goal is to stay in the US for a couple of years before alternating back and forth and then eventually settling for good in Ukraine.

I'm curious as to where in Ukraine you live and why you decided to move there.  How are your Russian language skills?  Are you dealing with a lot of the cultural adjustment issues that I went through?  I'm not sure I could handle those first 7 months again.

I'm also curious as to why you would choose to make your first post to challenge another member rather than an introductory "I'm here to learn and to help others" post.  I will comment on that by saying that most of the answers to the questions you have asked of Kuna can be found in his initial posts on this board and in his TR.  Sure his opinions can be worded pretty strongly sometimes, but you will find that for the most part he limits his opinions to those areas where he has some experience.  For example, on the issue of bringing his lady home, how to help her adjust and how life is living with an RW, he has not offered opinions but instead sought advice and has been very open to the ideas of others here who have that experience.  In contrast, you will find some here with only limited or very poor experiences who will claim authority on any and every topic.  It takes time to weed out who knows what they are talking about and who doesn't.  Don't judge a poster solely on their manner of presentation as some of the best advice has come in a very loud voice and some of the worst has come in soft sweet tones.

I look forward to hearing more from you as I think we have some common experiences that we can share.

Hi Scott,


I hope I am as successful with my relationship as you seem to be Scott.

I have been living in Odessa.  I know virtually no Russian.  I am an expert in the head nod.    Funny how you can communicate without language.

I do have a deep respect for the women moving overseas.  Especially the ones with little to no language skills.  It has most definately been hard at first.  There was a sense of isolation but now I am pretty comfortable.  I do hope the men will understand the need to spend time with their spouses to help them adjust when they bring their fiances or spouses home.  

As I said I don't know any Russian.  I will be learning Russian since we want our children to speak both Russian and English.  I wish I could have taken the opportunity to learn it from day one but work has kept me very busy while living here.

I am hoping to file a spouse visa (DCF) in the next couple of weeks to bring Sveta back to the states.


I am now used to being packed like sardines into buses and trams.    Paying bribes service fees to get things done easier.  


As for calling out Kuna, I think he has a tough road ahead of him.  From his posts he tends to think he knows it all when in reality he is just learning.  Being to Ukraine once and getting engaged does not make him an expert.  In fact, I don't see how he could give much of any advice in this area.  We will see how well he picked his future partner.  That is if he doesn't disappear if things go bad.  I never wish anyone to fail in this but it is hard to learn and adapt when you act like you know everything.  I know it has been one hell of an experience for me.  My friend GregFromGa told me how difficult it was for him.  I just thought no way.  I have dated successfully and lived with a woman long term so it can't be that bad.  Well, he was very correct.

I have posted on this forum before as tbelknap.  I didn't agree with Dan regarding copyright law and I left and then was banned from returning.  IP banned that is.  Since I am in Ukraine the ip banned was lifted.    If he decides to ban my ip again so be it.  

Hopefully I answered most of your questions without rambling too much.  I develop software so I like to take breaks by reading some of the forums.  Hopefully I can help out a few people with what experiences I have had.

Thanks for the welcome Scott,


Thomas
 

[Admin]

I have posted on this forum before as tbelknap.  I didn't agree with Dan regarding copyright law and I left and then was banned from returning.  IP banned that is.  Since I am in Ukraine the ip banned was lifted.     If he decides to ban my ip again so be it. 

Hopefully I answered most of your questions without rambling too much.  I develop software so I like to take breaks by reading some of the forums.  Hopefully I can help out a few people with what experiences I have had.

Thanks for the welcome Scott,

Thomas

Welcome back Thomas. I guess we need to clear a few things up. First, you expressed disagreement with the Terms of Service and based on that disagreement (and with your full prior knowledge) I placed your account in "Opted-Out" status - where it remains today. Had you wanted to return and use that account - AND - accept the Terms of Service (a requirement for all members at RWD), that option was available to you by merely finding a way to contact me.

With your new registration, I take it that you no longer have the disagreement with the Terms of Service - as you were required to accept the Terms when you registered the new account.

Finally, if you wish to use your previous username, I can change the status to enable that. I do NOT think I can merge the accounts, so it is sort of an either/or proposition, unfortunately.

Feel free to send me a PM if you wish to have further exchange about any of this.

- Dan

[Admin]

Thomas,

BTW - congrats on your recent marriage (sincerely)!

My best wishes to you and your wife for a long, happy and prosperous future together.

- Dan

[LiveFromUkraine]

Thomas,

BTW - congrats on your recent marriage (sincerely)!

My best wishes to you and your wife for a long, happy and prosperous future together.

- Dan

Thanks Dan.


I actually never had a problem with the TOS.  I am not the type to take content off here and post in other places.

Anyway, I found a way to get back on the forum, I just had to move to Ukraine. 


Thomas


P.S.  This id will be fine.  No need to go to any trouble.

[Gator]

Thomas,

Welcome.  You seem level-headed and to have much insight to offer.  I look forward to your continuing participation.

All of us have experiences to share with men who want to learn.  I never would advise someone on how to make married life better, yet I feel comfortable in offering suggestions for the correspondence, traveling, dating, and getting serious phases (based on 5+ years of relationships with RW).   In fact, I would probably be the worst resource on marriage as I have been unable to pull the trigger.  Hopefully, I am on track now.

Again, welcome.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Thomas,

Welcome.  You seem level-headed and to have much insight to offer.  I look forward to your continuing participation.

All of us have experiences to share with men who want to learn.  I never would advise someone on how to make married life better, yet I feel comfortable in offering suggestions for the correspondence, traveling, dating, and getting serious phases (based on 5+ years of relationships with RW).   In fact, I would probably be the worst resource on marriage as I have been unable to pull the trigger.  Hopefully, I am on track now.

Again, welcome.

Thanks Gator.  I appreciate the warm welcome from everyone.

I most definately couldn't offer any advice on the correspondence or agencies since I met my wife by accident.  I am positive you help a lot of people here with your insights.

Now my wife would laugh at the thought of me being level-headed. 


Thomas

[KenC]

Thomas,
How about a (re) introductory thread of your own?  I am sure others would like to know a bit about your circumstances and be able to welcome you properly.  (As opposed to your info being buried here)
KenC
Welcome back any way!

[LiveFromUkraine]

Thomas,
How about a (re) introductory thread of your own?  I am sure others would like to know a bit about your circumstances and be able to welcome you properly.  (As opposed to your info being buried here)
KenC
Welcome back any way!

Thanks Ken.  Good Idea.  I will type something up and post in a new thread.  I didn't mean to take over this one.


Thomas

[Simoni]

All of us have experiences to share with men who want to learn.  

Yes, we do...even us veterans (Gator, Bruce, Groove and myself) with so many "failed trips," in the words of our infamous critic.

Welcome, Thomas...we look forward to your participation, and to learning more about you.

And I vote for the "LiveFromUkraine" name.  It has a great ring to it  

[Kuna]

Kuna, you seem to be the resident expert as far as you are concerned.  I see you regurgitating advice that others have said.

I would like to know more about your "exprience" in picking a compatible mate.

How long have you lived with your fiance?  From what I read she just moved to au.
How long did you spend with her before she came over?
Does she speak english fluently?
How many times have you been to see her?



I think I already know the answers but would like to hear them from you since you seem to be the all knowing. 


I wasn't going to post on this board but couldn't help myself seeing all of your posts attacking others.


To be fair in this, I will post a little about my experiences.

I have known my wife for over a year and half.
I have lived with her in Ukraine for the past 7 months.
She speaks fluent english.
We talked everyday for hours before I even came here.
We were not looking for partners when we first met online.  We became best of friends first then lovers.

Now I won't be posting comments on how to make a marriage work because I just got married.  Seems pretty reasonable since I am still figuring it out and have a lot to learn.  I do like advice from people that have been married for awhile.  I would take advice from KenC, JB, Richard, GregFromGa and some others here regarding making a marriage work. 

So the real question I am asking is why should people take your advice regarding picking a good mate?


Waiting with anticipation.


Thomas

Hello Thomas...

I'm flattered your first post after your return was to attack me but there's really no need to get your little knickers in a knot.

Perhaps you can tell us what your previous RWD name was so we can have a look at your history.  Mine is there for all to see...  You're welcome to check it all out!

In response to your opening attack:

1. I don't for a moment believe I am an expert here... and have never claimed to be an expert, but there are a few undeniable truths that can be shared about this pursuit. I choose to share my experiences (good and bad) with newbies in the hope that they can find what they are looking for too.

There are some fools, pretenders and fantasy merchants here that are a danger to newbies.  I comment on the things I know or have learned, and I will refute the crap advice when I see it.

btw...I have never commented on how to make a successful marriage!


2. You ask: "So the real question I am asking is why should people take your advice regarding picking a good mate?"

The answer to this is simple...  Because I came here knowing little and I learned a lot from those who had valuable experience to share... AND I DIDN"T MAKE A BALLS-UP OF THE SEARCH PROCESS LIKE MANY (maybe most) DO!  I learned lots of good stuff along the way and I'm happy to share it with those that can use it.

Some try to "sell" crap advice but I guess I was lucky in identifying those with no credibility fairly early on (except for one gem from a regular poster that turned into a farce).

The reason why a newbie also might like to consider my advice is because they may like to compare my experiences with the experiences of others, and then judge for themselves what will suit them best.

Some who didn't find what they wanted might have listened to the wrong people, might not have listened to the right people ENOUGH, or in some cases they might have had an unavoidable bad experience (those are few and far between though I think).

Others (like Simoni) would like to put it down to bad luck. I contend there are MANY things a newbie can do to improve his "luck".


Now, please point out for me what advice of mine you disagree with and we might be able to provide more clarity to newbies.


Kuna

[Simoni]

Others (like Simoni) would like to put it down to bad luck. I contend there are MANY things a newbie can do to improve his "luck".

There you go again.  Another senseless attack. 

Your problem, Kuna (err...one of them) is that you don't know what you are talking about.  You say things that are not true; yet, I finally see that you don't know truth from fiction.

So let me correct your statement about me.

No, I do not attribute my going to the FSU a dozen times and dating many attractive girls as "bad luck."  Rather, I attribute it to being careful, and choosing wisely.  Gator did the same.  So did Groove.  So did Bruce.  None of us had bad luck.

Sure, I could have married the first FSU girl I kissed, as you plan to.  But I chose not to.  Instead, I dated enough fsu girls to know their culture and personality types.  And before I got engaged, I had spent lots of time with the girl I chose,  both in her country and in other countries.

What is your problem, Kuna?  Why have you started attack strands here at RWD?  Why have you constantly called members here liars?  My advice to you?  Live and let live.  Be positive, and not so negative.

There are many ways to be successful in life.  Your way (one trip and get engaged and be married within 10 months of meeting her) may work for you.   Mark the one week wonder married a girl he hardly knew, and whom did not speak English.  They are happy after 3 years.  I would not recommend that, but it works for them.  Groove was selective, too, and did not marry the first girl he met.  Its paid off for him; his wife is smart, sweet, kind and lovely.

Kuna, accept the diversity of RWD and stop saying bad things about members here who took a  different track than you. It's getting old.

[Son of Clyde]

Simoni, very good post.

I know Kuna has lumped me in with others he considers giving worthless advice. But what advice have I given lately? If people don't care for my advice (when I give it) just ignore me. My only gripe with Kuna was his very long thread about his bad experience with Pavel. Now he is telling others they do not need a guide. I am sure I could have survived without a guide but I trust Pavel and I do not believe I was ever taken advantage of. It is all freedom of choice and I am not insinuating everyone needs a guide but let them choose.

I think Stirlitz charges very high prices, but I would never insinuate that people should not use his services. Stirlitz command of the English language is exceptional. He is a very bright guy who charges a bit too much for me, but he can also offer insight as Pavel can.

I really would like to see things turn around and we all act more civilized.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Hello Thomas...

I'm flattered your first post after your return was to attack me but there's really no need to get your little knickers in a knot.

Perhaps you can tell us what your previous RWD name was so we can have a look at your history.  Mine is there for all to see...  You're welcome to check it all out!

In response to your opening attack:

1. I don't for a moment believe I am an expert here... and have never claimed to be an expert, but there are a few undeniable truths that can be shared about this pursuit. I choose to share my experiences (good and bad) with newbies in the hope that they can find what they are looking for too.

There are some fools, pretenders and fantasy merchants here that are a danger to newbies.  I comment on the things I know or have learned, and I will refute the crap advice when I see it.

btw...I have never commented on how to make a successful marriage!


2. You ask: "So the real question I am asking is why should people take your advice regarding picking a good mate?"

The answer to this is simple...  Because I came here knowing little and I learned a lot from those who had valuable experience to share... AND I DIDN"T MAKE A BALLS-UP OF THE SEARCH PROCESS LIKE MANY (maybe most) DO!  I learned lots of good stuff along the way and I'm happy to share it with those that can use it.

Some try to "sell" crap advice but I guess I was lucky in identifying those with no credibility fairly early on (except for one gem from a regular poster that turned into a farce).

The reason why a newbie also might like to consider my advice is because they may like to compare m :cluebat:y experiences with the experiences of others, and then judge for themselves what will suit them best.

Some who didn't find what they wanted might have listened to the wrong people, might not have listened to the right people ENOUGH, or in some cases they might have had an unavoidable bad experience (those are few and far between though I think).

Others (like Simoni) would like to put it down to bad luck. I contend there are MANY things a newbie can do to improve his "luck".


Now, please point out for me what advice of mine you disagree with and we might be able to provide more clarity to newbies.


Kuna

Don't be flattered Kuna, I just wanted to point out to the new people that you really don't have a clue as to how well you picked your partner.  I am not attacking mate, I am calling you out.  Just like the things you do with others when you think their advice is bad.  So I take it you are attacking others as well.  Or is it different because you are doing it?


Why did I call you out? For starters, you just started living together.  The real truth is you still don't know anything.  Mate, I am still learning myself.  My biggest problem is you think your way is the best way.  I think your way is friggin crazy and a hell of a gamble.  I would advise others to make multiple trips.  I would advise others not to be in a hurry.  I would advise others to spend as much "FACE" time as possible before getting engaged.  Even after that it will be extremely difficult.


It takes a lot of deep love for each other to really make this thing work.  Lets see how much love you guys really have for each other.


You think you know this routine better than others because you found your "love" the first time you went to Ukraine.  You also criticize others for making multiple trips.  News flash rocket boy, you have no idea if you chose right.  The only experience you have is going to Ukraine once, getting engaged and talking on the phone after.  I am all for you commenting on how lovely the phone conversations were but you do a great disservice when you tell others anything else.  The game doesn't really begin until you start living with her.  Let me know after some time of face to face relations how well you did.   I thought it would be easy myself but my friend GregFromGa set me straight.  Of course I didn't listen but he was absolutely right in everything he said. 




I really hope things work out for the two of you.  It will be difficult at first.  Especially when the excitement wears off.  Hopefully you picked right.  Only time will tell if your gamble plan worked.  Sometimes life doesn't allow for plans.



Thomas