A big mistake

[Chris1016]

I think I made a very big mistake coming to this web site! I thought at first that maybe it would help me get some in site into the whats and whys of the fsu women. So far all I have been fed is insults and b/s because some thing the way I write and dress that I am some poor farmer or something that can't afford a pair of shoes. I do not brag but if you must know to be 28 years old I think I have done pretty damn good for myself by myself. I have an electrical company with over 200 employees now and a investment company that is just getting started that I think is going to do just great. So you snobs (not everyone but they no who thy are) just go on and think what you want and cast all the stones you want. Now you have show your ignorance and no I don't think I need to come to this web site to ask questions. Which is very sad because I am sure there are alot of good people here with good info but there are always people who have to ruin everything. Have a good day and I wished everyone the best of luck in there lives.

[Lily]

Chris, please don't think this way 

Forum is a write-only place of communication, and sometimes it takes good thinking before putting words on the message. I think that many people here were never intending to hurt you. Well, may be it is just seems to come up this way. Please forgive us. 

You are welcome to ask specific questions, and keep posting! 

[William3rd]

You seem awfully thin-skinned. . . . Give it a while. You will not receive any better treatment elsewhere on the boards so you might as well take your time.

Quitting something in one day is not the hallmark of a successful kind of guy. Leave now and that will be your legacy here.

Good luck

[I/O]

Chris: You may have copped it a little blunt in the first instance, but that is about 10% as blunt as it gets in the FSU. You may wear the most expensive jeans you wish and the best designer polo's, however, notwithstanding a million discussions about dress in Russia, the reality remains that the guys tend to dress a lot more tailored than in the west (Although that is changing a little now) and it is very much part of Russian culture to try to look your very best for a first meeting. A polo and jeans, no matter how good they are, are not going to sell particularly well on a website to a lady browsing your profile. 'Tis as 'tis.

Consider this, how would you go if a nice Russian lady said to you, "I like you, you are a good man but I don't like your face, it is ugly face"? Get the point? That may end up being your wife who says something like that to you. They can be that direct. She may love you to bits and still tell you about the things she doesn't like.

If you are to have any chance of success in Russia, you'd better grow a thick skin real quick. Most of the guys here are simply trying to clue you in for how it is. Hold my hand and take a walk down reality street, I have two grown Russian women living in my house right now and believe me, the conversations get rather .....errrr direct at times. Not that I have ever been know to take a backwards step either....go figure. I have been told several times, that "You more difficult than Russian man". I agree completely and wear that as a badge of honor.

Point is Chris, if you are going to run the race, let your balls down a touch and toughen up, it ain't for the faint hearted.

I/O

[Rvrwind]

Whoa, there Bubba...best grow a thicker skin if you wanna play with the big boys.
90% of what I saw was good natured ribbing.
You are apt to find a woman here just as well as anybody else as long as you are realistic, but please don't let some goodnatured ribbing turn you off. You will need a much thicker skin than that to deal with a Russian Woman, believe it.

[Turboguy]

Chris, you write just fine and I have not noticed anyone insulting you on that but perhaps if I reread the thread I would find something I missed. 

We were not trying to insult you.  We were trying to help you.   We think you are a good guy and we want you to succeed.  I am lucky and found a gal who is quite accepting of jeans.  I never cared much for hats but I am sure if I wanted to wear a ball cap it would be fine with her.  Not all women are that way.  You need to find one that is.  There are lots of them.  When I was writing to women I would usually send some photos were I was dressed well and send some with jeans which is what I wear most of the time. 

I think you will find that Russian women are very direct.  Some people use the word blunt.  It might seem that it would be something bad but actually it is really a very good thing because you do know what they feel and think and can have far better communications.   If someone is sensitive they may have some problems dealing with it.   Hanging out here is probably good practice at dealing with bluntness.   Some here do say what the feel. 

The choice is yours.   I hope you stick around.  Don't look at the things we say as insults but the truth is if you hang out here long enough someone is going to insult you and the more you are around it the easier it is to deal with so I think it would be a good character exercise for you to hang your cap on the peg here for a while and learn about this aspect of life.   

[Gator]

Chris,

If you somehow look past the noise, you will see that you have received some excellent advice from several posters.  Dating a RW is something akin to that – much novelty, noise and confusion, yet punctuated with important clues.

You did not like what I wrote in your other thread because I piled on with regard to your Panhandle style, yet I gave you some good advice in other comments.

1.  You need time for this endeavor.
2.  You need money for this endeavor.
3.  You need a plan, starting with the type of agency to assist you.
4.  Many FSU women, especially those from the Big Three Cities, would not find Panama City acceptable (yet many others would), so be careful in whom you pursue.

Your elaboration to me in a PM reveals that you have the money.  Congratulations!  However, it seems that you do not have much time due to your new businesses. 

Because you have money and little time, I would suggest that you contact personal service agencies who will, for a fee, do much of the groundwork.  The agency must be someone who knows the women personally and can select a few candidates who match your personality and goals.  Then take a trip, test the waters, and then decide.

One more piece of advice, date women older than 21.

Have a good day.  My son graduated from FSU.

[BillyB]

Is this just a case of Chris being thin skinned or did he actually feel insulted? How many of you guys will enter into someone's home for the first time and stay when the majority of comments insult you? The insults may be true but will you stand there while everyone say grow thicker skin? I doubt any of you will stay and some of you would not leave that place as politely as Chris's doing here. Sure Chris's attire isn't good enough for a date with a RW but he has had experiences with RW, as he mentioned. So at those times he was judged and based on the reaction from the RW he has met has not turned him off. Either he knows how to dress in the presence of RW or he continues to live a life of rejection based on him being clueless.

[Jazzyclassy]

hey Chris

do not go and stay

do not pay attention to nervious people , we have few who loves from time to time do their favourite moves, but that's only  on the surface, they are all cuddly and nice

you have your own head to judge yourself who you are and what have you done during your life, why would you care about somebody's opinion about your life

we are here only to share experiences and to maybe give our opinions about this or that situation but never trying to judge people

[Turboguy]

Chris,  I had not read the other thread when I made my last post and yes, you did receive a pretty nasty insult that you were not at all deserving of.   I have to say it was funny but it was totally uncalled for and in very poor taste.  It also was not true.  You are not here to meet a RW you are here to find out about the process and your don't need to dress up for that. 

I am sure in your business you have to deal with all kinds of people and jb is just jb.  His advice is most always great but sometimes it is not worded with much sensitivity.   

Panama City should not be a big problem.   Lots of the ladies would love it.  It is a far easier location than some of the guys deal with.   Read the thread about taking a city girl to the country and you will see what I mean.   

Most everyone here will try to help you.  Some may word things in ways you don't like but the intent will always be to help you. 

[Misha]

Chris,  I had not read the other thread when I made my last post and yes, you did receive a pretty nasty insult that you were not at all deserving of.   I have to say it was funny but it was totally uncalled for and in very poor taste.  It also was not true.  You are not here to meet a RW you are here to find out about the process and your don't need to dress up for that. 

I would not even say that it was funny. I have seen the photos posted by the men on this site, and I am sorry to burst any egos, but I have yet to see anyone here who could be featured on GQ, JB included. I will be the first to say that I am not an Adonis, and yes most young Russian men are a lot thinner than me and they dress a lot more fashionable than me. My wife is also a lot more attractive then me. But, she married me. If she had wanted a stylish Russian man, she would have married one. If Chris had asked for advice as to what to wear in a photo he was sending to a Russian woman, then it would have been appropriate to give feedback then, and even at that time we should have been more respectful.

As for age, there seems to be a prejudice that money is required and that younger men are less mature. However, in real life, I see many marriages between older men (50+) and RW that failed miserably. Age is not a guarantee of anything. Likewise, neither is money. Some men with a lot of money failed as well in their marriages.

[Turboguy]

Gabaub, I will say that jb's comment had me laughing very hard but I also agree it was not funny.   I thought jb's comment was in very poor taste and a terrible way to greet a newbie. 

As far as money being required and young people being immature.  I think it would be hard to make the trips necessary without some financial where with all but I do think someone with an average income can succeed.  I think there are women who want a luxurious lifestyle and those who just want a happy life with a good man.  When I met a woman who was interested in the best of everything I just kept looking because I am not.  If I won 100 million in the lottery tomorrow it is just not a lifestyle that appeals to me.  I see people doing quite well who are not wealthy,  One local couple lives on his Social Security Disability income and are very happy. 

I have always believed that life was a learning experience.  I think it seems logical that we gain experience going through life and that leads to maturity.   I have to wonder about this, though.   Who is more mature?  A young guy of 28 who has a business with 200 employees, or an older person who will say that a some young person looking for help and advice looks "like a slug".   I have to think that comment was about as immature as you can get.  I have seen no signs of immaturity from Chis.   Some might consider him thin skinned but with the insult he suffered why should he not be upset. 

I agree with you that age and money does not insure success.  I would be willing to be if there was a survey of people who stayed married for 40-50 years that more married in the late teens and early 20's than later in life.  Maturity is not the key to success.   

[Zadan]

Soo not surprised. I bet JGault won't be back either.

[groovlstk]

I think the maturity and success criteria that are often cited here are not meant as guarantees of success, far from it, but simply two major stumbling blocks that are best dealt with before a guy even begins to search.

There are so many things that can go wrong in this endeavor that any guy hoping to increase his chances for success will want to come to the table with a pair of jacks or better, meaning:

• He's financially secure or has a very good income. I sometimes get PMs from guys saying they "can afford only one trip" before doing a K1 and hope to find a woman to propose to during this single trip. Madness! If you're serious about this you have to plan for multiple trips just to get your foot in the door, then subsequent USCIS fees, costs associated w/bringing her to the US, then supporting her for at minimum 6 months, more likely a year, no matter how motivated she is to work.
• The maturity thing may not have an age number associated with it since we don't all mature at the same rate, but suffice it to say RW are not easy to deal with. You will need to calmly endure things that would cause a Zen master to repeatedly profane the cosmos and reach for the Jack Daniels. In another thread DKMM is getting flack for being immature and perhaps it's well-deserved, but I know at his age I couldn't have gotten 1/2 as far as he has.

[Chris1016]

 I want to thank you who stood up for me in this post and no it didn't really have anything to do with the comments on how I was dressed. There are alot of very wealthy people everyday that trust me with alot of there money so I must be doing something write with my looks and attitude. What bothered me was the little comment and I am not sure who even wrote it about that I look talk and write like someone from Panama City. Any of you who have been here in the last 3 years know that it is not New York city but we are up to about 200,000 people now with the average home going for about 300k so its not the trailer city it may have been 30 years ago. As for being thin skinned maybe maybe not say what you will about me thats fine but please do not try to insult my intelligence.

[Turboguy]

I really have not noticed anything in your writing that was deficient in any way.  The reality of it is that many women would be happy to live anywhere that it does not snow and consider that paradise.  I like living where I do, all the nasty weather gives me something to complain about. 

I think when you are ready to actively persue a RW you will find a lot of candidates who will be quite happy to consider you. 

Hanging around here can be the best learning experience you will ever get in that persuit but you will find some crap being thrown at a lot of people so be prepared to duck.  I think everyone does it in the spirit of helpfulness even if it may not seem like it at the time.

[WmGO]

Chris,

Agree with what the other posters said about thick skin and
pursuing FSUW.

Next, if you own an electric company with over 200 employees
congratulations are in order - as you would be the owner of one
of the the if not the largest electric companies in the Southeastern
one quarter of the United States. Kudos.

BTW, the population of PCB is LESS than 14,000 people. As a matter
of fact, the official website of your city states that there are only
9500 full time residents there. Don't misunderstand me, I like PCB and
am quite a "connosieur" of the Redneck Riviera from  D/FW to PCB.
It just isn't in any way, shape or form a metro area. It is quite accurate
to refer to it as a tourist village............But don't take that as criticism,
Schooners is still the best beach club on the Gulf Coast!

One thing about the FSUW you come into contact there. About 99% are
working in the hotel/condo  industry on seasonal work visas as maids. Most of them
are not the cream of the FSUW crop and come from extremely poor circumstances, but many are trying to save money for college back home. Most
of them have a very poor opinion of Americans because of what they see
on the Panhandle - the lowest common denominator of redneck southern
humanity and behavior...........so take the advice that has been offered as far
as big city FSUW are concerned..........very few such women from Moscow,
St. Pete, Kiev etc. would want to live there...........so focus on women from the smaller cities................good luck.................and get rid of the dang hat.

[KenC]

I want to thank you who stood up for me in this post and no it didn't really have anything to do with the comments on how I was dressed. There are alot of very wealthy people everyday that trust me with alot of there money so I must be doing something write with my looks and attitude. What bothered me was the little comment and I am not sure who even wrote it about that I look talk and write like someone from Panama City. Any of you who have been here in the last 3 years know that it is not New York city but we are up to about 200,000 people now with the average home going for about 300k so its not the trailer city it may have been 30 years ago. As for being thin skinned maybe maybe not say what you will about me thats fine but please do not try to insult my intelligence.

Chris,
Sorry for RWD getting off on the wrong foot with you.  Some of the advice here is doled out in an "in your face" or blunt way.  A big reason for that IMO is because so many of us are used to dealing with very blunt RW.  It would be nothing for a RW to ask "why are you so fat?" if you were overweight by example.  If bluntness is something you cannot handle, it may be best that you not pursue a RW.

The other issues regarding your attire and writing abilities may also be negatives in your pursuit of a RW.  RW tend to be much more sophisticated and educated than the average AW.  I respect that you may be a casual guy in your free time, but that isn't typical for a RW.  They rarely go out in public without their hair and makeup in place and are rarely caught out in public in jeans and a T shirt.  I live in California, where shorts/T shirts and flip flops seem to be the state dress code, but my wife of 8 years rarely complies.  And she is a student at the local university.  Your writing style is fine, but you have many errors in word usage that makes you appear less educated.  ("no" instead of "know", "write" instead of "right")  You may not be a country bumpkin, but your presentation here does lean that way.

My comments are meant to be constructive criticisms and not a slam to you personally.  If you decide to stay and continue the idea of pursuing a RW, I hope that you can take the helpful criticisms in stride.  Best of luck to you whatever you decide.
KenC

[Misha]

It would be nothing for a RW to ask "why are you so fat?" if you were overweight by example.

My usual answer: "because I am not a chain-smoking alcoholic" 

[jb]

Your writing style is fine, but you have many errors in word usage that makes you appear less educated.  ("no" instead of "know", "write" instead of "right")

KenC, you missed one,,, how about "there" instead of "their"?

Hello everyone I'm Chris. I am 27 and live in Panama City Florida USA.

Panama City is a city located along U.S. Highway 98 in Bay County, Florida. It is the largest city between Pensacola, Florida and Tallahassee, Florida. It is the larger (population wise) of two principal cities of the Panama City-Lynn Haven, Florida Metropolitan Statistical Area. As of the 2000 census, the city population was 36,417; by 2005, the city's population had grown to 37,188, according to Census Bureau estimates. It is the county seat of Bay County.

So,,,not only can our intrepid hero not spell, he can't count either.   Either that, or the official city web site is wayyy off on the census numbers.   I smell something fishy here.

[thedub]

I think I made a very big mistake coming to this web site! So you snobs (not everyone but they no who thy are) just go on and think what you want and cast all the stones you want. Now you have show your ignorance and no I don't think I need to come to this web site to ask questions. Which is very sad because I am sure there are alot of good people here with good info but there are always people who have to ruin everything.

Chris,

Dude, you shouldn't split from the site just because somebody insulted you. You came here for a reason: to learn more about the whole process of courting and marrying a FSUW. Stick around... log in and read the posts and let the nasty comment go. I'm a newbie so I have nothing to offer you on the big process - but from looking around a bit, this site is clearly very educational. It's all good, man - stay around!

[Kuna]

Chris,

Please take these words as words of encouragement...

If you were offended by the comments in here enough to depart RWD FSU is not for you.

Forget the grief you will get from the women...  that's nothing compared to the disruption to your life... attempts to rip you off at almost every point of your travels... dealing with professional scammers (women, agencies, guides, EVERYONE)... and trying to contain our own common sense and logic while your hormones are pumping through your body.

If you're a highly sensitive type of guy FSU is not for you... but that's OK.  I'm sure there is a ice plump baseball cap wearing lady in a town close to you.

I think a lot of men stuff around on the edges and waste their time, money and life potential because they want to live the fantasy instead of putting the shoulder to the stone.

If you're a fantasy guy expect to get hurt, offended and ripped off.  If you're a shoulder to the stone type guy your chances of success will go up.

You're not a victim... you're just a member.  Most members here won't lie to you but some will sugar coat everything they say.  Trust me... you don't want the sugar coated advice... that just leads to high risk and repeated failures.

re: the comments on your attire...  be very thankful you received them here and had the chance to understand the importance of dress to FSUW.  Many men never find RWD before they travel and they just can't understand why they failed with these "poor desperate women".

Toughen up a little...  read read and read some more. Ask your questions when they come up and be prepared for an incredibly difficult adventure.

Kuna

[Turboguy]

Kuna is right.  Some of the comments may not sit well but if you really decide to persue a RW they will save you a ton of disappointment, frustration and cash.

I would not worry a lot about the comments about Panama City.  If I had to rate places to live for an FSU woman it would be at least a 5.   We have guys here who live in places like Billings MT and in the middle of no where and they are places that would be a 1 or a 2 at best.   Warm weather and beaches are going to sound good to most FSU women. 

[Gator]

What bothered me was the little comment and I am not sure who even wrote it about that I look talk and write like someone from Panama City.

I wrote that.  And you found that more bothersome than being called a slimy gastropod!

I do not enjoy hurting someone's feelings.  However, I see no need to apologize because when making my comment it was in the context of helping you, given my knowledge of your background and my knowledge of RW (and I said, "no offense intended").

In an attempt to help you I have two comments:

1.  Just because you have more money than the average 27-yo AM does not mean that RW will adore you.   You have exhibited two personalty traits that many RW will consider defective.  Your thin skin has been discussed and I will not add anything else.  The second trait is that you seem to give up easily.  RW respect strong men.  The Russian society is difficult, and RW respect strong, determined men who can persevere and succeed in the face of such obstacles.  

2,  You have revealed much about yourself so far, and that enables posters to target their advice.  If you are still interested in this endeavor, please tell us what you hope to find in a RW that you can not find in women from your own city.  
  

[Misha]

When reading these posts, I always get a chuckle. Russian women are often described as these mysterious creatures and it requires so much skill and experience to handle them carefully. For many here, it is such an ego boost: they managed to navigate the dark and mysterious FSU and came back with the prize of the indomitable Russian Woman. In my experience, it ain't quite that hard. The goal that you have to keep in mind is that you have to find one woman who will love you. You don't have to please all women, you don't even have to please most women, you just have to find the one who will love Panama City or  life in the country or life in a shack in the Appalachian Mountains. How to do it is pretty much the same both in Russia and North America: meet a lot of people, talk with them and get to know them, think a lot and avoid your hormones getting the best of you, and eventually you will find someone. If you are truly lucky she will truly be the one.