An RW's experience on freepersonals

[Mir]

Given that there are a lot more men looking for women then women looking for men you lack of getting responce baffles me.
All I can think off is that somehow your email/letter/intro makes them feel that you are too good to be true.

[Gator]

Lily,

I have met you.  This lack of response is inexplicable.  These men are stupid.

As I said, Free Personals is a high numbers place - you have to do much prospecting because the gold is difficult to find.  That is why I preferred EM and a local agency in a city I wanted to visit.  Also, what type of man is so cheap that he avoids spending $100 at another agency.  He sounds CHEAP, and what RW wants a tightwad. 

Are your attempts at Free Personals serious or just a sample to see how well the site functions?  If serious, it sounds as if you write a long first letter.  I would suggest that you write only one paragraph with something catchy. 

One possible reason is that most men in their 40s chase early 20-something girls, not women.   So you need to write many more men than 5.  There are some smart men somewhere.  Keep looking.  It will happen.

[Lily]

Gator, I only contacted the men whose profiles and pictures seemed to be interesting for me. I only wrote a short notice about my interest and asked whether they 'd wish to get to know me. Or I just touched on something particular, as complimenting something special on themselves, or on their pets that were pictured.

[Misha]

Gator, I only contacted the men whose profiles and pictures seemed to be interesting for me.

I am curious, what made the photos interesting?

[Lily]

Photos and profiles, I said.

It is not easy to explain what makes them interesting and appealing. For every person there may be lots of different things that either catch the eye and mind, or rather make the reader move further. Those profiles somehow appealed to me, so I wanted to know those men a bit more.

[Misha]

Lily,

I have met you.  This lack of response is inexplicable.  These men are stupid.

As I said, Free Personals is a high numbers place - you have to do much prospecting because the gold is difficult to find.

I wouldn't say gold, but I would say that it is difficult to find someone who is compatible and interested. On the free Russian dating sites, I sent out hundreds of messages (maybe over a thousand) over the course of a year. Most did not reply, with some we did not click, and through this process I finally met the woman who became my wife. If I had only sent out a few messages, I doubt that I would have had much success.

[Lily]

gabaub is right. But I really could not contact more men at FP at the time when I did this search.

The more profiles we look, the more interesting profiles we can find.

[Misha]

Photos and profiles, I said.

It is not easy to explain what makes them interesting and appealing. For every person there may be lots of different things that either catch the eye and mind, or rather make the reader move further. Those profiles somehow appealed to me, so I wanted to know those men a bit more.

I guess the question would be if the men you chose were hotties :-) I presume that the most attractive men with the most money get most of the attention of FP. 

[Lily]

I guess the question would be if the men you chose were hotties :-) I presume that the most attractive men with the most money get most of the attention of FP. 

I don't remember that FP shows personal incomes

No idea whether they were hotties. Afraid I also don't quite understand the meaning of this word. I just contacted those who I liked, that's it...and i hoped that they may find me attractive and interesting,too.

Well, you are right that a smaller part of men usually gets attention from most women. This is just life, so this tendency is not only at dating sites...

[Misha]

I don't remember that FP shows personal incomes

No idea whether they were hotties. Afraid I also don't quite understand the meaning of this word. I just contacted those who I liked, that's it...and i hoped that they may find me attractive and interesting,too.

Well, you are right that a smaller part of men usually gets attention from most women. This is just life, so this tendency is not only at dating sites...

Income can often be guessed to indirectly. If a many says that he is a corporate lawyer, it will be assumed that he earns more than if he is a clerk at WalMart :-)

A hottie would be a "krasovchik" in Russia.

[Serebro]

A hottie would be a "krasovchik" in Russia.

KrasAvchik, but I like "Krossavcheg" better

[Misha]

KrasAvchik, but I like "Krossavcheg" better

Thanks for the correction :-) It is the biggest challenge with Russian spelling: when you learn a word through speaking the language, you often write the "O" pronounced as the Russian "A" the way that you hear it :-)

But, I believe that we often underestimate the role that attraction plays for women as well as men. It would be interesting to know how much more interest will a "krossavcheg" get compared to the less attractive guys.

I personally sent hundreds of introductory messages to women, but I could probably count on fingers the number of times that a woman wrote to me first. Usually, they were older than me (i.e. in their forties).

I am the first to acknowledge that I am not the most handsome man (certainly no George Clooney), so it would be interesting to know whether a very attractive man is likely to get many more letters from women than what I was getting.

[USCFAN]

Gator, I only contacted the men whose profiles and pictures seemed to be interesting for me. I only wrote a short notice about my interest and asked whether they 'd wish to get to know me. Or I just touched on something particular, as complimenting something special on themselves, or on their pets that were pictured.

Lily ... I just posted a profile ... you should check mine out and give me your feedback 

[Gator]

Gabaub wrote,

It would be interesting to know how much more interest will a "krossavcheg" get compared to the less attractive guys.

I will relay to you the thoughts of my Moscow woman.

Women are smarter than men, so "looks" are less important to them.  Nevertheless, women still have hormones and they appreciate a good looking man. 

My Moscow woman is gorgeous and had her fair share of handsome men to write her.  She met a couple and decided that the very handsome men are not serious about marriage.   

Later, a Spanish man wrote her with male model looks.  She prefers the Hispanic culture and even speaks Spanish.  This "stud muffin" was educated too.  What did she do?  She clicked "delete".

All else being equal, I feel RW would choose a good looking man every time.  A young RW may consider the man's appearance as her dominant criterion.   Older women searching for family and stability will look at a man's photo and make a decision whether they could live with such a man.  However, unlike men, I believe most women study the profiles and somehow factor that info into their decisions.

[Misha]

Gabaub wrote,

I will relay to you the thoughts of my Moscow woman.

Women are smarter than men, so "looks" are less important to them.  Nevertheless, women still have hormones and they appreciate a good looking man. 

My Moscow woman is gorgeous and had her fair share of handsome men to write her.  She met a couple and decided that the very handsome men are not serious about marriage.   

Later, a Spanish man wrote her with male model looks.  She prefers the Hispanic culture and even speaks Spanish.  This "stud muffin" was educated too.  What did she do?  She clicked "delete".

All else being equal, I feel RW would choose a good looking man every time.  A young RW may consider the man's appearance as her dominant criterion.   Older women searching for family and stability will look at a man's photo and make a decision whether they could live with such a man.  However, unlike men, I believe most women study the profiles and somehow factor that info into their decisions.

It would be interesting to see how age plays into it. An 18-year-old woman may value looks more than a 40-year-old woman would. Also, different women place different value on looks. For my wife, looks was simply one of many criteria that she was looking for in a man, and not necessarily in the top-5 of her priorities. Her older sister would likely have placed looks at the top of her priorities even if she is older.

[Lily]

Thanks for the correction :-) It is the biggest challenge with Russian spelling: when you learn a word through speaking the language, you often write the "O" pronounced as the Russian "A" the way that you hear it :-)
 

Gabaub, it seems to me that you took Serebro's verison seriously. Please don't

What she offered as her preferential spelling is nothing other than a subcultural version that has popped up very recently among some Russian internet users. There is sort of tendency to switch voiced and unvoiced consonants and even some vocals in words, like 'preved' instead of normal 'privet', 'krosavcheg' instead of 'krasavchik', etc. This should make a sort of a weirdly 'cool' impression on readers among some Russian subculture users. I still have yet to figure out why people do this...

On a cultured reader, such switched letters would hardly make a good impression.

sorry for off topic, but I feel I really have to comment on this until this incorrectness goes in the memory of those who learn Russian language.

[Bruce]

Lily, now that you changed your picture I suspect you will get at least twice the attention you did before.  Good luck in your quest.

[Mishenka]

Bruce, I agree with you on Lilia's photo, the first one was cute with a "younger attitude" pose,, but this one is classy and a more of an " men stand up and take notice" pose.  I see Bruce you took notice, just like me and everyone else!  Ha Ha,,  we can't help it, we are wired this way from birth. Blame my DNA!

Seriously,  I have learned the hard lesson how not to judge a woman on her looks.  I can only judge by her actions matching her words.  Lilia has  many attributes I don't see in American women.  The first thing I notice from her posts is diplomacy, then honesty,  intelligence, wisdom, and her gentle heart in public forum and Pm's. Her genuine heart is most important. How any guy can not see this is beyond me. Maybe I'm more sensitive than most?   I can see these things within minutes of reviewing her posts.  She will find love because she is genuine and has the capacity to love.  Any real man will value this above all else.  Keep searching Lilia! Never give up.  Never settle for less than you want.

Misha

[SANDRO43]

The decorations of her white blouse are not clearly legible, though, something must be distorting their readability .

[Mishenka]

The decorations of her white blouse are not clearly legible, though, something must be distorting their readability .

Sandro,, You must pay a lot of attention to details.   

I never noticed letters on her white blouse, 

I was captivated by her smile.   

Let's not draw too much attention and risk loosing the privilege of enjoying her photo.