Would you recommend your best friend search for a RW?

[Alesis]

I think you're referring to the movie, "Supersize Me". I just saw it recently and highly recommend it. The central character goes for 30 days eating nothing but McDonald's food. The entire process is monitored by a team of doctors. At around day 20 or so, he gets the result of bloodwork from one of his doctors, who informs him that he could be doing irreversible damage to his liver.

[BC]

btw.. where are the women?

[Todd]

Hi All,

I think that I'm going to reiterate what everyone else here has already said.  I probably would NOT recommend to a friend that they go to Russia for the SOLE purpose of finding a wife.  HOWEVER, if I had a friend who was single and loved to travel, I WOULD recommend that they visit Russia.  Heck, it has 1/6th of the world's land area.  If they would like to go, I WOULD recommend that they consider posting a profile 3-6 months ahead of time to see what happens.  Even if nothing happens from the posting, they will still have a great deal more appreciation for the country they are going to be visiting.

I would NOT recommend to any of my immediate circle of friends that they go to the Ukraine during the summertime and powerdate for 3 weeks.  I'm impressed by all you guys with that kind of stamina, but it isn't for me. 

[BC]

I would NOT recommend to any of my immediate circle of friends that they go to the Ukraine during the summertime and powerdate for 3 weeks.  I'm impressed by all you guys with that kind of stamina, but it isn't for me.

Yes Todd, there is a lot more to see than hotel rooms, agency managers and cafe's. Not a good way to relax and enjoy precious vacation time.

[dat5150]

If someone asked me, "should I join the military?", I would talk with them about their goals and what they're looking to do with their life.  I'd lay out the positives and negatives and tell them about my experience in the military....then I'd let them make up their own mind. 

Is the search for a RW wife any different?  It's not for everyone and can be tough going, but in the end was the reward worth the risk?  From some of the comments, I get the impression the reward was not there for some and therefore would discourage others.

Please, this analogy is an attempt to point out the problem I see with some of the answers and not to be an exact comparison.

[BC]

5150,

I like analogies. Wide use of them seems to underline that there are, albeit sometimes 'quarky' fundamental principles between the lines.

My basic contention is that actively chasing a MOB's halfway around the world seems quite quite 'unnatural' and the reasons mentioned by most faulty.

Tell me you are following your primal desires to enrich humanities gene pool and I just might believe ya!

What's the 'real' truth?

I joined the military because I was broke.

:D

[corncrowe]

5150,

I like analogies. Wide use of them seems to underline that there are, albeit sometimes 'quarky' fundamental principles between the lines.

My basic contention is that actively chasing a MOB's halfway around the world seems quite quite 'unnatural' and the reasons mentioned by most faulty.

Tell me you are following your primal desires to enrich humanities gene pool and I just might believe ya!

What's the 'real' truth?

I joined the military because I was broke.

:D

I perfer to travel and if I meet someone then it's great.  If not, I got a chance to visit another country and see a new city. 

I am planning to visit Ukraine again in September.  This time I am actually meeting some women whom I began to write.  This is a first for me.  My last two girlfriends were introduced to me.

But would I recommend this venture to other single men?  No!  Same reason most others here gave.

Jon

 

[Photo Guy]

Besides the RW here at RWD, I have interacted with about 4 RW, face to face. Based on those limited experiences I would recommend RW to any friend looking for a wife. Before you tell me how absurd that conclusion is, I invite you to read a new best-seller, titled 'Blink'.

I am taking this book to the southern CA beach with me, later this week. Time for R&R. I've read half a chapter so far and the author makes the point that our subconscious is often very good at making fast judgments about people and events that later prove to be highly accurate. That kind of thinking is part of 'intuition', 'gut reaction' and following one's 'instincts'.  So, yes I think it is possible to size up a situation or person in a short amount of time. I'll add to that, the idea that simply through written communications, it is possible to get a good look at a potential mate. Look at the posts of the faceless writers here at RWD. The personalities and values become quite apparent after reading the ideas presented here for just a week or two. Conclusions and accurate impressions can form after a very short amount of time.

I'd recommend that a seeker keep his eyes wide open, to gather in all of those insightful morsels of information.

I think AW are more cynical, more guarded, less open, insecure of  their femininity, and generally less respectful than that handful of RW that I've interacted with. I think RW are different from AW. jb talks about 10% of the time being tough, but ...isn't that also true with AW?  So pick your poison. I guess 'nagging' can be worse than outright disrespect. I dunno. With 'L', I get the feeling that my ideas and opinions carry a lot of weight with her, moreso than many AW that I have known. There ya go - I went way out on a limb and said RW are preferable. LOL.      

[BC]

Photo,

If we could only accurately read our subconcious. I also think we do have instincts but modern life has overruled the need for instinct for so long that we are now highly trained or maybe even genetically influenced to disregard any remaining instincts.

I might agree regarding written correspondence if it were written in her native language that was also your native language. Otherwise forget this idea.. too much is lost and added with translations. The sublties will simply not be there.  Write a 200 word love letter in English, have it translated to Russian, give that translation to ANOTHER translator to translate back to english.. you might be surprised what you get.

Of course L is 'looking up' to you. You wear shiny armor in her POV whereas AM have xray vision that can easily see through it. Didn't Supergirl also acquire xray vision when she moved to earth?

Have fun at the beach in SCal. As you say.. 'keep your eyes wide open'. That book will surely have competition.

[jb]

Dat5150 wrote;

From some of the comments, I get the impression the reward was not there for some and therefore would discourage others.

I hope I didn't give that impression, I am well rewarded in my marriage.

But..... there's always a "but", I don't know if many of my friends are in possession of the requisite amount of patience and stick-to-itivness to get through to the end.  I know there were times I was ready to throw up my hands in frustration and tell my wife, "to hell with it, I'm moving to Moscow, I'm sick and tired of dealing with the USBCIS".

I wouldn't wish that kind of misery off on anybody.

[Turboguy]

Back to what photo guy said, Personally I think we have a very powerful sense of intuition and we can read our subconsious very well if we listen.   I think it will guide us through many a problem and may a difficult decision.

I think where it fails us totally is when we get around women and we start thinking with the wrong head.   I think that head does not have a subconscious at all.   I am not saying that with anyone in mind at all, just that I think we can be very vulnerable to bad decisions about women.   Actually the only time we might have some sense about us is before we get into too much physical stuff and after we have been around them so much that it becomes old hat.  In the new conquest stage we are not much better than a male spider trying to bed a black widow that is going to kill us when we are done. 

[jb]

PhotoGuy wrote;

Besides the RW here at RWD, I have interacted with about 4 RW, face to face.

I've interacted with dozens of RWs, both in Russia and here at home.  Trust me on this, your intution belongs in the dumpster if you think it is helping you understand RWs.

Let's take where you live, for an example.

A RW living in Russia, or Ukraine will have very different expectation from those of a RW who has lived in the US for even as little as 6 months.  Your 'intuition', 'gut reaction' and 'instincts' while you are in her country will not tell you anything about what she will become in a year of living in the USA.  

According to what I've seen and heard in the FSU, the old USSR standards for living space per person was about 10 square meters, or about 110 sq.ft., that means, in what we think of as an average 1 BR apt, usually about 600-700 sq. ft., they would house 5-6, maybe 7 humans of various sexes and ages.  Often 3 generations would share quarters, and in many cases, they even share a kitchen and bathroom with other families, this was the norm.  It's getting better, but quite a few women you will meet have actually lived in this kind of situation at some point in her life.

Now bring a woman out of those conditions and plunk her down in in that same sized sq. footage apartment, (600 sq ft) with just the two of you[/b], and in 6 months she will feel cramped and want a larger place.

Russian's also hate the notion of renting, Russia (CCCP) always granted flats to families, it belonged to the State, but in fact, they had propiska, (ownership rights) and no one could force them out.  Renting a place to live, without propiska, is a hard thing for a Russian to deal with and accept.

Now, for your own protection, I do not advise running out to the local real estate broker and buying a house jointly until you have a couple of years of marriage under your belt.  Until she has her permanent Green Card, and you are very sure of your relationship, you would be taking a huge gamble.  Etna and I are now married almost 4 years and we are finally buying her dream house, no big deal, but a relationship of 4 years is a whole lot different from a relationship of 3 months.  If you can see what I mean.  

While this isn't brain food, it's still food for thought.

[catzenmouse]

I hope I didn't give that impression, I am well rewarded in my marriage.

But..... there's always a "but", I don't know if many of my friends are in possession of the requisite amount of patience and stick-to-itivness to get through to the end. I know there were times I was ready to throw up my hands in frustration and tell my wife, "to hell with it, I'm moving to Moscow, I'm sick and tired of dealing with the USBCIS".

I wouldn't wish that kind of misery off on anybody.

Lena and I have been talking about this quite a bit recently. I've been online searching around to see if there is any work for me in Russia. We have had nothing but BS and grief from USCIS. Add that to the fact that she misses her family and friends more than she realized she would and it does make the option look pretty good to me. Maybe it is gender related but I would not have any problem not seeing my family/friends more than once every couple of years or so, if ever.

Ken

[BC]

We left RU the first time together in -14 C temp.  Was quite 'normal' and she laughed at how I was shivering on the way to the airport.

Now, in winter here which averages around +14 C she complains it is soo cold..

[ConnerVT]

My wife (jokingly) tells me I brought her to Siberia, not to Vermont.  For when she looked on the map, Vermont was about the same latitude as Sochi and the other "southern cities" of Russia.  Damn that jet stream, and the frozen mass of earth called Canada above us!

Of course, she changed her tune after we returned to Russia, trading in the +32 C weather we left in VT for the +22 we found north of Moscow...

[Maxx]

Now, for your own protection, I do not advise running out to the local real estate broker and buying a house jointly until you have a couple of years of marriage under your belt. Until she has her permanent Green Card, and you are very sure of your relationship, you would be taking a huge gamble. Etna and I are now married almost 4 years and we are finally buying her dream house, no big deal, but a relationship of 4 years is a whole lot different from a relationship of 3 months. If you can see what I mean.

 

Photoguy this is solid gold advice. I was smart enough to not buy a house with my RW wife. I would advise to either do that before your fiancee comes so only your name is on the title as in "premarital property" or do as JB suggested above.

Yes they do want a nice home with a respectable amount of square footage. Something they can be proud of. In fact I have an appointment to meet with a real estate agent to look a 3 houses this afternoon. 

Yes as JB said they do change after they get here and develop needs that are not present in Russia or the Ukraine.

Maxx

[Photo Guy]

I have no plans for co-buying a property. At least not in the near future. If my condo does not meet her standards, then that's the way the cookie crumbles. How can I extinguish fires before they happen? Should I tell her this (my 'owned' condo) is the way life IS here in the US with ME? Should I assume that she'll point at a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood and tell me she wants THAT, or else? Life is full of risks and if you fault me for gambling, that's your problem. I can hear your concerns, but I'm not sure what you expect me to do.
Your point is taken. I'm thinking about it.

[Maxx]

I am not hostile towards you Photoguy. I just went through a tough experience and do not want anyone to experience the same. Of course your lady is different than my ex but I do notice a tendancy for many RW to want to keep up with the Joneses.

Maxx

[corncrowe]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

I have no plans for co-buying a property. At least not in the near future. If my condo does not meet her standards, then that's the way the cookie crumbles. How can I extinguish fires before they happen? Should I tell her this (my 'owned' condo) is the way life IS here in the US with ME? Should I assume that she'll point at a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood and tell me she wants THAT, or else? Life is full of risks and if you fault me for gambling, that's your problem. I can hear your concerns, but I'm not sure what you expect me to do.
Your point is taken. I'm thinking about it.

Photo,

I am almost "positively" convinced your condo in Scottsdale (Via Linda?) is much better than anything she ever dreamt.  I won't worry about trading up for something newer, unless it's a woman...

Good luck,

Jon

 

[Photo Guy]

Thanks guys. I hear ya.

Yeah, there are worse places than Scottsdale. But, sooner or later she'll discover the new neighborhoods in north scottsdale, where the homes start at about $600k or more. She doesn't seem very materialistic, but that has to be a piece of the puzzle in her decision to leave Mariupol. I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt.

[KenC]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

Besides the RW here at RWD, I have interacted with about 4 RW, face to face. Based on those limited experiences I would recommend RW to any friend looking for a wife. Before you tell me how absurd that conclusion is, I invite you to read a new best-seller, titled 'Blink'.
I am taking this book to the southern CA beach with me, later this week. Time for R&R. I've read half a chapter so far and the author makes the point that our subconscious is often very good at making fast judgments about people and events that later prove to be highly accurate. That kind of thinking is part of 'intuition', 'gut reaction' and following one's 'instincts'. So, yes I think it is possible to size up a situation or person in a short amount of time.

The excerpt I read about this refers to the decision of whether one would have sex with the other, not any long term commitment, like marriage.  A big big difference.  There is no subtitute for time spent together, no matter how you attempt to justify it.  When I was single and dating AW, I used to have a "six month" theory.  A person can keep up a front for a period of time, but the usual maximum is around six months.  After that, you see the true face of the individual. 

 Russians are not much different.  In fact, I would say it would take longer to see the true face of a RW because of all the distractions once they arrive.  They are so overwhelmed by their transition into American society, that their true personalities and tendencies do not surface until long after my six month theory.  This only happens when they find their place in our society and no longer struggle with the language.  That could take years.

 I'll add to that, the idea that simply through written communications, it is possible to get a good look at a potential mate.

This might have some creditibility if you two didn't have a language barrier as someone else pointed out.  Personally, I think that phone calls are better, but that too is out because you two speak different languages.  Any communications going through an interpretor is subject to being suspect.  Is it your gal's words or the interpretor's?  What exactly is lost in translation you will never know.

KenC

[Bruno]

KenC

[/quote]
Communication problem, language, translator, phone, meeting ... are only detail... no one time, you can be sure about a potential wife... Same if she live in your own town...

You have two type of women... these who say the true when you ask something and these who say what you wish when you ask something... the honest one and these who lie...

These man who wish certitude about love don't need start a relation... love relation is based on trust... a mutual trust... but if one lie, you cannot know it ( not directly )... and usually, these who lie are better for seduce men because they say what the man wish listen...

"There are a few more issues about asking questions. Watch out for the Parrot response. Some women will answer with what they think you want to hear. If you lead, they will follow. Example: "I like suchansuch. Do you like suchansuch?" Of course, the answer will be, "Yes!" Even if they don't know what a suchansuch is. From time to time, throw in a question without explanation. Another great tip for finding out a person's attitudes and disposition is to ask questions in supposition. Example: "Suppose you are sailing in the ocean. Your boat sinks, and you swim to a small deserted island with nothing but the clothes you are wearing. What would you like to find on the island?" You can learn a lot about a lady's personality this way. If she answers, "Food and water," she's probably practical; "A cellular phone," she's a thinker; "A million dollars," greedy; "Ten studley Polynesian men," well, just run away. "

[Turboguy]

Personally I think there are dangers when working with a translater.   It would be less with working through more than one however.

7 or 8 years ago I got the most beautiful letter you could want along with an ugly picture.  (the photo was fine, just the girl in it was ugly).   The letter though really caught my attention and I wrote back.   I got another beautiful letter and this time the photo of the gal was a real knock out.   Same girl, don't belive photos don't lie.

I kept writing and the lady seemed like everythng you would want.  The new photos were great and I headed to Krasnodar to meet Nina.  

Nina spoke no English.   She had an interpreter arranged (I paid of course) it was the same one who helped Nina write the letters.    I could make a long list of Nina's qualities and not to many would fit the desirable catagory.   Nina drove and had her own car.  The thing that really drove me crazy was that her favorite thing to do was to find a crowd of people and aim for them while pushing the gas pedal to the floor and holding her hand on the horn and laughing as she plowed through the crowd and watched them jump for their life.   Real fun huh,  Not on my insurance Nina.

In the time I spend there I talked through the interpreter with Nina and had some time alone with the interpreter.   The conclusion I reached was the romantic, caring person I had written were really the words and ideas of the interpeter (older and married) who helped Nina.   Nina did not have a caring bone in her body.   The danger of working with an interpreter is you need to be sure who is really talking.

[corncrowe]

(the photo was fine, just the girl in it was ugly).  

Hey,

That could be someone's sister, mother, or girlfriend...

  

[Photo Guy]

If you meet someone in person, you can size them up pretty quickly.
That is what the latest research tells us. And three different interpreters have given me the same picture of her. It's in a golden frame and smells like roses.   Doug