A more serious Post, why RW want to marry outside of Russia

[Mishenka]

He's successful, earns a good salary, so he thinks he has a special entitlement," says Anna Kazakova, a 30-year-old journalist, referring to her husband of five years. "He owns me and has a right to beat me. And I am supposed to worship him."

Kazakova's just decided it's enough. "He can eat his money and beat somebody else," she says of her forthcoming divorce.

Every fourth family in Russia experiences some form of domestic violence, with 82 percent of such crimes being committed by husbands, according to government statistics. Each year, about 14,000 women die at the hands of their husbands or intimate partners. In the United States, by comparison, this number stands at about 1,200, according to the 2001 Bureau of Justice Statistics Report. Russia's population is 144 million; the U.S. population is over 300 million.

"The number of women dying every year at the hands of their husbands and partners in the Russian Federation is roughly equal to the number of all soldiers who died in the 10-year war of the Soviet Union in Afghanistan," says Natalya Abubikirova, executive director of the Russian Association of Crisis Centers. The Moscow-based umbrella organization of 32 groups advocates for women's rights and seeks to raise awareness to prevent discrimination and violence against women.

In 1995 the United Nations adopted the so-called Beijing Declaration Platform for Action to raise the status of women and promote gender equality. There has been some response here with a handful of shelters opening throughout the country and public awareness campaigns beginning to have some effect. Compared to other industrialized nations, however, resources and information remains scant.

Moreover, 10 years later, many women here still play a servile household role, women's rights activists in the country say.

"We've had a case when the husband broke his wife's jaw just because an omelet she served him was white," says Alexandra Kraeva, coordinator of the Russian Association of Crisis Centers. "She covered the omelet while cooking it, so it turned white, that's all. In another family, the wife was left with a broken tooth and a cut brow. She gave her husband soup that wasn't hot enough."

Women's rights groups in major Russian cities operate hot lines for battered women and collect cases and statistical information. Yet, efforts to systematize data are complicated by the shame many Russian women feel in making their family troubles public.

"Women must be very strong to say 'no' even to an unhappy marriage," one victim told the Moscow Helsinki Group, a human rights organization. "They often fear that people will look down on them for failing to build a family. Many women suffer through beatings in silence to preserve a social status of a happily married woman."

While Kazakova's batterings may be borne by many wives, her decision to seek a divorce is unusual.

Divorce is not stigmatized in Russia, but being alone is. There is a general pressure to get married as soon as possible, and as a result many women marry men they hardly know. If these women change their minds about their marriage or if they face domestic violence, they often don't have an opportunity to divorce because of financial dependence on their husbands.

In a 2003 Ministry of the Interior report that polled victims of domestic violence, 76 percent of the women said they had suffered from abuse for a long time before reporting it to the police or making it public in some other way. The report lists some of the common reasons given by the women: "Didn't believe that the law enforcement would help," "Was afraid of revenge," "Was afraid of losing housing, had nowhere to go," "Was afraid of public scorn," "Didn't want to leave the kids without a father."

Another 2003 study found that most Russian women blame themselves for being beaten or abused by their husbands. In cases of domestic conflict that ends with violence, women are not likely to seek outside help. Rather, they will keep the problem inside the family and consider themselves at fault.

Charges Against Russian Law Enforcement

In 1997 the New York-based Human Rights Watch charged Russian law enforcement with not adequately investigating and prosecuting domestic-violence charges and failing an international human rights obligation.

Since then, Russia in 2001 adopted a national plan for promoting women's rights, which spelled out measures to protect women's health and to improve their access to economic opportunity. The government has also formulated a so-called Gender Strategy to ensure equal rights and opportunities for men and women.

Responding to a U.N. questionnaire on its implementation of the Beijing Platform, the government said in 2004 that "the problem of violence against women is viewed in society as a violation of human rights requiring the intervention of the state."

The government's commitment to women's rights, however, was undermined last year by the parliament's failure to pass a bill on domestic violence.

In 2004, the Kremlin also abolished the inter-governmental commission set up in 1996 to promote gender equality and women's rights.

Also in 2004, Amnesty International reported that perpetrators of domestic violence "were rarely brought to justice, in part as a result of the reluctance of the police to intervene in what they perceived as a private manner."

Courts in Russia have provided little encouragement to women hoping for help there.

In one case recorded by the Moscow-based crisis center ANNA, the husband of a young female pianist broke all of her fingers in a jealous rage. The court found him guilty of causing slight physical damage and gave him a suspended sentence. For the woman, however, the incident was more than "slight harm." It ended her career, according to the center.

"Men who beat or rape their wives or commit other acts of violence in the family are unlikely to face prosecution in the Russian Federation," according to a 2003 Amnesty International report. "Many victims seeking to prosecute their abusers face indifference or neglect at the hands of the police and the courts. The police often fail to register such cases properly and to conduct thorough investigations; the criminal justice system often denies the victims their right to justice."

Women also perpetrate domestic violence, but 9 out of 10 use violence against their husbands in response to being attacked, the Ministry of the Interior has reported.

"One time I snapped at my husband," says Kazakova, the journalist. "He was going to hit me, and all of a sudden everything inside me exploded. I grabbed a kitchen knife and started chasing him around the apartment. He actually had to cut his arm hoping that a sight of blood would cool me down. Still, I beat him pretty bad; he had several cuts and a black eye. I didn't know what I was doing; it was like a defense reaction."

Men, a word of wisdom here. Many of you will be meeting women who came from an abused marriage.  12 of 12 Russian women I've dated here in USA came from terrible abusive marriages.  Be ready and willing to deal with this. They all have valid reasons to leave and come to a place where they feel safe and the laws actually protect them, better yet, their new husband will protect them! However, this is not always the case.  Men in the USA can be abusive to their new wives as well, QUICKLY ending in divorce!

[BillyB]

Every fourth family in Russia experiences some form of domestic violence, with 82 percent of such crimes being committed by husbands, according to government statistics. Each year, about 14,000 women die at the hands of their husbands or intimate partners. In the United States, by comparison, this number stands at about 1,200, according to the 2001 Bureau of Justice Statistics Report. Russia's population is 144 million; the U.S. population is over 300 million.

I see some studies, maybe feminist backed, saying 50%+ American women suffer DV. Your study says there are much less AW dying of DV than RW. What defines dv in America? If a woman fears her husband, it can be defined as domestic violence. What defines dv in Russia? Fear or must there be physical evidence?

Men, a word of wisdom here. Many of you will be meeting women who came from an abused marriage.  12 of 12 Russian women I've dated here in USA came from terrible abusive marriages.  Be ready and willing to deal with this. They all have valid reasons to leave and come to a place where they feel safe and the laws actually protect them, better yet, their new husband will protect them! However, this is not always the case.  Men in the USA can be abusive to their new wives as well, QUICKLY ending in divorce!

I don't agree with this. Most women may not have been abused, especially since the study you provided says 25% of the women in Russia are abused. Beware, there are many women out there trying to get a man's sympathy for selfish reasons. If you ever meet a woman who's past boyfriends and husbands have ALL been abusive, run! Either she's lying or she has a habit of running into trouble men and lacks common sense. If you don't run and engage in a relationship with the woman, you may be the next abusive husband/boyfriend she talks about to her next man if you ever break up with her. The laws in America makes it easy for her to make false dv charges against you and she can dial 911 and put you in jail with no evidence.

[Lily]

Does this thread seem to you not to be serious enough?

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=5404.0

As for me, I never met any RW who experienced a family abuse. The only thing where I could hear such stories from time to time are the newspapers.

[Mishenka]

Interesting posts, thank you both!

I speak from my own personal experience. We are all different.

My previous girlfriend of 4 months (white days), which lasted 7 months by the time I ended it was beaten by her Ex husband to the point that her then 10 year old daughter called the police. He has a 3 year restraining order on him. They divorced.  She will never be the same as she was before.  She was so mentally abused and manipulated that it will take years to heal.  She suffers now from Bi polar disorder.  She says " No one can help me"  I tried but she still was too difficult to deal with. She didn't want me to have to live with her condition. So it was over. We don't talk anymore.

I could go into the lives and experiences of the last 10 or so RW I have dated and tell their same stories.  Natsaha divorced her second Russian husband for beating her daughter from her first marriage.  He was abusive  in other ways, mostly mental. 

Lana, can tell you her same experience,  as would Dasha and Anya,  I could go into countless hundreds of other stories I have heard first hand in Moscow and Kiev of the drinking problems and family violence that comes from it.  There is no debate. It's real and it goes on daily in these womens lives to the point they loose hope or they realize they don't have to put up with it and they finally leave. 

Billy,  As for statistics, they only come from people who are willing to report such things.  I'm sure the real numbers are far higher than what we actually know about.  25% figure is just taking the sample from reports.  Its just like any poll,,   how accurate are they?   Yes I can spot a women on the take within 5 minutes of meeting her.  Some of my previous dates, which were only first dates ended quickly with her obvious ulterior motives.  Real Russian women who are sincere in finding a lover and best friend are not looking for money. They are looking for their equal.  I have been turned down because of my financial status because they felt totally uncomfortable with it and it built walls between us.  They felt they could not keep me happy, saying things like " you are handsome and have money, you can get any lady you want, why are you with me"   I know this sounds insecure but its also true feelings. They just want a balanced relationship where both are giving from the heart.  We men feel the same,  They are so beautiful and can get any man they want, so it goes both ways. 

Lily, you are very lucky women not to know anyone, especially from Moscow that has not spoken of abuse in their family,, but then again, who is willing to embarrass themselves and speak about such private things?  Very few, unless you are their best friend, and even then,  women are so good at hiding whats in their private heart.  Women rarely speak of sex in public, why would they speak of abuse? Which is even more tabu subject.  They say I am easy to talk to and make people comfortable enough to open up and speak. As did these women I write about here in this post have done. 

I hope now with Tatiana, I have found a woman who has not been in this situation, who is mentally healthy. We all have pain from past experiences, loosing loved ones etc but she seems very strong and has dealt with past hurts.

[jen]

Hi,

Thanks for posting the article -- where did you get it from? Could you post the citation information?

j.

[Mishenka]

I used this article to back up my own experiences. citations, links, a combination of many,,,, look at Amnesty International, 2001 Bureau of Justice Statistics Report ( Russia)  2003 Ministry of the Interior report. I suggest you search it out for yourself and find more info form the US government immigration home pages on Russia,, or any country for that matter.  Its not hard to back up the stats. They are all made public.   I wish it weren't the case but time after time I end up dealing with this and it makes me wonder.  Will I ever meet a woman who is healthy mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually?  Is it possible?  maybe in my dreams,  so I will keep on dreaming. 

[2tallbill]

25% seems like an impossibly high number. Remember a couple of Superbowls back I think it was the Cowboys Buffalo game? There was a news report saying that Superbowl Sunday was the most violent day against women of the year and that more women were beaten on that day then any other day of the year?

Very few journalists checked the facts, they just reported it and believed it. Then guess what? It was a big spoof by some radical feminist organizations

see urban legends at the link below
http://www.snopes.com/crime/statistics/superbowl.asp

I can't disprove the article above but I find it very difficult to believe. I am in no way trying to disrespect Mishenka who sited the article but I challenge the data in the article.

Just my two kopecks

Bill

[Mishenka]

Fact,, 4 out of ten women in America are raped or molested in their lifetime.  40 %  wanna debate that?  25 % of RW spousal abuse is probably much lower that actual.  study before you give off misinformation. People can report anything,  statistics reported to the police dept are the only facts we have to go by.  How much goes unreported?

Misha

[Simoni]

Fact,, 4 out of ten women in America are raped or molested in their lifetime.  40 %  wanna debate that?  25 % of RW spousal abuse is probably much lower that actual.  study before you give off misinformation. People can report anything,  statistics reported to the police dept are the only facts we have to go by.  How much goes unreported?

Misha

We have met several Russian women in America who were beaten by their husbands here in the US.  All fled, and seem to be doing well now with second husbands.  In private talks with the second husband of one of the women, it seems like the first guy who married her was one weird dude.  He just wanted a woman to cook and clean and for sex.  She spoke no English, so her escape and adjustment to life in America is amazing.

So yes, it does happen.  I have no idea what the percentages are.

[Mir]

Will I ever meet a woman who is healthy mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually?  Is it possible?  maybe in my dreams,  so I will keep on dreaming

Does that mean you will keep on looking as well?

[Mishenka]

Mir, I think the time has come to stop looking and let her find me. 

[Mir]

Mir, I think the time has come to stop looking and let her find me. 

yes just turn your bluetooth to on and wait for others to find you

Still I gather from your posts you have found a good woman, so maybe its better to work on this relationship then thinking and worrying about events in the past that may have damaged her emotionally.
One should lock up Freud to have a good relationship.

[Kuna]

Still I gather from your posts you have found a good woman, so maybe its better to work on this relationship then thinking and worrying about events in the past that may have damaged her emotionally.

mir,

Very true!

In answer to "why RW want to marry outside of Russia"...  My Girl' she comments on two things - Crime and the Environment.

Whilst she has lived with both and could continue to live with both she wants her future children to live healthier and safer lives.

I can't comment on other cities but in Dnepropetrovsk there are problems.  In summer people swim in the river but at times there are warnings NOT to swim because pollution levels are too high.  She feels that many illnesses in people around her are a result of pollution. You can't drink the water from the tap and the air is often heavy and dirty.

Crime - You can't walk freely around her house after dark without being approached by someone (or several people) who are drunk.  This frightens her.

When she was about 12 years old her sister (who is only a few years older than her) was robbed by two WOMEN (apparently drug addicts... who knows???).  They stole a little money but even worse was that they burnt her with cigarettes.  What has left a lasting impression is that some neighbours that knew my FSIL lived just one street away did nothing to stop the attack (I guess because they didn't want to get involved).  She still wears a few scars on the back of her hand from the cigarettes.


It's interesting that we ask WHY a FSUW wants to marry overseas when they are asking themselves the exact same question.  Why would we need to marry a FSUW and why can't we find a good AW at home.

It seems both sides are just looking for a better relationship and future.

[ScottinCrimea]

I can't comment on other cities but in Dnepropetrovsk there are problems.  In summer people swim in the river but at times there are warnings NOT to swim because pollution levels are too high.  She feels that many illnesses in people around her are a result of pollution. You can't drink the water from the tap and the air is often heavy and dirty.

Crime - You can't walk freely around her house after dark without being approached by someone (or several people) who are drunk.  This frightens her.

When she was about 12 years old her sister (who is only a few years older than her) was robbed by two WOMEN (apparently drug addicts... who knows???).  They stole a little money but even worse was that they burnt her with cigarettes.  What has left a lasting impression is that some neighbours that knew my FSIL lived just one street away did nothing to stop the attack (I guess because they didn't want to get involved).  She still wears a few scars on the back of her hand from the cigarettes.

Kuna,
In LA, you often can't swim in the ocean because of raw sewage and other pollutants being dumped into it, or you have to deal with syringes laying around. No one dares drink the tapwater, and in the mornings when I would wipe the dew off the car windows the cloth was black.

Crime - No sober person would ever think of walking the streets of downtown LA at night.  Even locking yourself inside your house doesn't keep you safe as there are regular reports of home invasion type crimes, home burglaries, rapes, etc.  We hear repeatedly of attacks on women or children where people walked away or stood by and did nothing.  The number of reported crimes of pedophilia are appalling.

All of this pales in comparison to the dangers to body and mind of American attorneys.

Perhaps RM should be lookiing to marry some of these LA girls, get them out of that dangerous environment and into a safer place like Ukraine. 

[Kuna]

 

Could (or would) a RM put up with an AW?

Scott,

I realise there are problems with pollution and crime everywhere but My Girl's observations come from her home town and Stuttgart in Germany (where she lived for a few years).

I guess she got lucky with me because we live in the city centre (right in the centre) and when we go for walks (day or night) we'll often see people fishing in the river. A friend of mind lives aboard his boat at the marina about 200 metres from our apartment and he throws a crab pot over the side when he goes to work in the morning and at night he'll have a mud crab for dinner.

She simply can't believe how clean the air is and it took a while to explain to her that it was safe to walk virtually anywhere - but of course on a Friday or Saturday night between midnight and 5 am if she is walking past pubs or night clubs she should be very aware of drunks.

She won't be walking past pubs at 5am so we shouldn't have many problems.

There's crime here of course but there's no doubt it's on a different scale to Dnepropetrovsk.

[BillyB]

Fact,, 4 out of ten women in America are raped or molested in their lifetime.  40 %  wanna debate that?   study before you give off misinformation. People can report anything, 

Misha, you're right, people can report anything and one must study before giving off misinformation. Your fact is far from the the facts. Study and compute the numbers. it's nowhere near the 40% you claim.

http://www.rainn.org/statistics

[Mishenka]

Right on Billy,, that stat you show the link to give the annual figure not the lifetime figure I reported. Good onya  for looking it up,, now look up the life time stats,, for example how many women in their lifetime are diagnosed with breast cancer?

Good work,, but, a different stat. But you can find different info all over depending on what country you are in etc.
Misha

[BillyB]

Right on Billy,, that stat you show the link to give the annual figure not the lifetime figure I reported. Good onya  for looking it up,, now look up the life time stats,,

Mishenka, you are only reading what you want to read. Read the link again and you will find 1 out of 6 women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime which is much lower than the 40% you mentioned. Look around the site I submitted to see which studies they used and how they come up with their numbers. Over a hundred pages of reading though. Where did you get your numbers from?

[2tallbill]

Mishenka, you are only reading what you want to read. Read the link again and you will find 1 out of 6 women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime which is much lower than the 40% you mentioned. Look around the site I submitted to see which studies they used and how they come up with their numbers. Over a hundred pages of reading though. Where did you get your numbers from?

I have to agree with Billy here.

Besides if 1 out of every 6 women were raped or abused annually then it would be nearly 100% life time.

Bill

[Mir]

It is very likely that the majority are repeat victims.

[Simoni]

It's also very likely that when a marriage is between a man and woman that don't speak the same language and have not dated much and really don't know each other, that fights happen.

Both come into the marriage with unrealistic expectations and not knowing the other person.

I have no doubt that this slice of the population has higher levels of DV than does the norm.

[Mishenka]

Hi people

I posted this originally just as an example of just one (1) of the reasons FSU women look outside their home towns to find a suitable mate. It was not meant as a generalization about all FSUW or any particular population or nationality of them.  We all know that any abuse is too much,, and no excuse is ever acceptable.

I consider myself very fortunate to have met so many beautiful Russian woman over the last 10 years or so. Each one was not only physically beautiful,  they were charming, intelligent, lovable, sexy as anyone could ever dream and also mentally stimulating and a challenge!! I love a challenge! :-)  I think for myself,  the attraction to FSU women is their charm and intellect, regardless of age, rather than looks.  They all have a mystery about them.  Any time spent with them was always interesting to learn about the way they think, and how they read men and respond to them.   

Regarding facts and statistics posted, it used to be that 1 out of 4 American women were raped.  25%. Now Billy post 1 out of 6,, but you need to remember that half of all rapes go unreported so it could be as high as 40- 50 %. Since our  figures only state what is reported let's agree to disagree and compromise that 40 % is probably accurate.  Either way even one reported is too many 20% 25 % what difference will it make?  It's all way to much abuse, either mentally or physically, we can all agree it needs to end.

Misha

[BillyB]

Now Billy post 1 out of 6, but you need to remember that half of all rapes go unreported so it could be as high as 40- 50 %. Since our  figures only state what is reported let's agree to disagree and compromise that 40 % is probably accurate. 

No Misha, no compromise. Sorry for giving you no slack but you're the one that told others earlier "study before you give off misinformation. People can report anything," 
You did not read the link as I asked and you have not submitted your source for the 40% stats although you reported it. For the second time I ask you to read the link to see how they came up with 1 out of 6. The site I submitted to you used the best and most reliable studies out there to come up with their numbers and the 1 out of 6 includes non reported sexual assaults.

Anytime you read an alarming study that works you up emotionally, you need to think about what source it's coming from and how reliable it is instead of believing it at face value. Do not get educated from television, a source that gets people paranoid about anything/everything. Misha, besides mentioning the 40% sexual abuse AW are subject to, you also mentioned 12 out of 12 RW you knew were abused. Those are alarming numbers but nowhere near reality. That is why I questioned your numbers in two threads and I hope you do think twice before putting stats out again that put men in a bad light. I've figured men and women are good and bad in equal numbers.

If for some reason your 40% is correct then look at it this way, if 40% or 2 out of 5 women are sexually abused, some repeatedly, then there are roughly 40% of men or 2 out of 5 that are sexual predators, some repeat offenders. It's very conceivable we need to put 40% of the American male population in jail and 40% of the American women may need counseling to get over their trauma. Ridiculous! The 1 out of 6 stat may be exaggerated too. If all this is true and we have the highest incarceration rate in the world at about 1 out of 100 people, then we should think about making 2 out of 5 or maybe 1 out of 6 males in jail, just for sexual offenses. That should make the feminists happy.

I wouldn't doubt there are a lot of sexual assaults that should not be considered sexual assualts. There have been many times a man and woman kissed passionately only for the man to make his next move and caress his woman's breast or rub the outside of her panties. The woman may make him stop, slap him or walk away thinking she was sexually assualted while the man thought he was making a move as nature intended towards making love. Go figure?

Here's a true story. A friend of mine knew a woman who dated another man for the first time. She came crying to him saying the man raped her in the ass. Of course he was sympathetic and told her to call the authorities. She did not report it to the authorities. Weeks later my friend finds out that she went on more dates with the man who supposedly raped her. I tend to think she was a willing participant in sex the first date since she went on more dates with the guy. But if she was polled by a study, I'm sure she would say she was sexually assualted based on that one incident same as she mentioned to my friend. Go figure?

[Mishenka]

Hi Billy,, first, I will re post the links just in case you missed them the first time.

The United Nations- Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action:
http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/beijing/platform/


Amnesty International Violence against women in the Russian Federation: -
http://www.amnesty.org/russia/womens_day.html

I'm very tired from lack of sleep during the fires here in San Diego, so I will keep this short.
I started this thread as a simple bit of info, to let men know to be equipped to deal with reality. My reality is not going to be the same as others.  My experience of marriage and family counseling over the years is going to be far different than the average guy dating women.  I hear a lot of things from people sitting across from me, most of which can not be substantiated. Feelings are never right or wrong,  but they are valid feelings. Abuse comes in many forms,, mostly mental, which the damage is as serious as physical.

Billy, I read your one link,, would like more to back it up.  There will be a dozen other studies that differ. Eventually they all start to contradict each other. You and I don't perform the research,,we are just bystanders reading on line. who can we really trust?  Personal experience,  first hand info.

You made the comment,  "I submitted to you, used the best and most reliable studies out there to come up with their numbers and the 1 out of 6 includes non reported sexual assaults."  This statement is contradictory.  It is not possible to include " Non Reported" sexual assaults.  We simply have no information from any study to make such a conclusion. We can't pull things out of the sky and make it sound official.    If we don't have the research we can not expect people to buy into non reported numbers. 

One last thing, you made the comment, that if there are 40 % of women that have been assaulted, then there must be 40 % of men doing the crime.   Again studies show that these men,  perps as we call them do this consistently, with many women, so one can't just pull figures out of the sky and say 40 % of all men are perps.  It could be far less, or it could be far more. There is no way to really know. We do know they are repeat offenders. From all I know these 12 beauties Ive dated could have all be abused by the same man.  Not likely but,, who knows.  Just making a point here.

For example, Of the 12 women I dated, all of them were married at least 2 times and some 3 times, and were abused by their husbands, so they divorced them.  In this case, 12 women X 2 average, 24 men,  not 12,, so this puts the figure even higher than what I posted. However,, if these same men have been married 2 or 3 times and abuse the 3rd or 4th woman,, then the % of of abusive men goes down,,  so we can't just throw out figures and stats like they are estimates without actual reports filed.  We can only go by what is actually reported on paper in police stations across the FSU China or USA or any country for that matter.  The next 50 of 500 women we talk to may say they have never been assaulted, thus bringing the % of perps down to a lower percent.

My experience tells me one thing, others tell a totally different story.  Both are accurate within their own experience.

Yes it is true people sometimes tell stories to gain attention. Why on earth this woman your friend speaks of would date a guy who abused her,, we will never know but,, I had a GF like this and had to end it for this exact reason.  I concluded that she had low self esteem and felt she didn't deserve better or this man had a tremendous amount of control over her using fear and manipulation tactics that she felt powerless to do anything about it.  Either way,, it happens to often.

Good night,

Misha

[mspanky]

We have met several Russian women in America who were beaten by their husbands here in the US.  All fled, and seem to be doing well now with second husbands.  In private talks with the second husband of one of the women, it seems like the first guy who married her was one weird dude.  He just wanted a woman to cook and clean and for sex.  She spoke no English, so her escape and adjustment to life in America is amazing.

So yes, it does happen.  I have no idea what the percentages are.

 They say women fall in love with their ears and men with their eyes. Therefore I can't understand a couple marrying when they have no common language. The man may have fallen in love with his eyes, but what does the woman have to fall in love with in cases such as this? It seems many of the women will settle and marry a man they do not understand or have any inkling of his charecter. Only who she thinks he may be. It's no wonder there are so many dissapointments once the woman begins to learn more English and finally begins to know the man she married.