I-129F, Can I stop the process??

[jj8951]

Okay, so I met a girl, traveled to Ukraine two times and met her both times and had many meetings!
I sent my I-129F package to USCIS yesterday and now I wish I had waited, maybe a month longer before doing that!

What happens if in 2-3 months I decide she is not right for me, can I cancel the process? How?

[William3rd]

You can cancel this at any time after you get your receipt notice.

[groovlstk]

What happens if in 2-3 months I decide she is not right for me, can I cancel the process? How?

Please allow me to be the first to ask, "wtf are you doing getting engaged to a girl you haven't yet decided 'is right' for you?"

[Shadow]

What if you decide in a year... in 2 years... in 10 years ?
As groov asked.. if you are not sure then why did you make a promise ?

[acrzybear]

 :selfharm:

[Jazzyclassy]

yeah boys and after this you go and scream what a scammers are those women, take a look at some of the guys who took such serious step before even being sure he loved her, Oi

like bear showed  :selfharm:

[groovlstk]

yeah boys and after this you go and scream what a scammers are those women, take a look at some of the guys who took such serious step before even being sure he loved her, Oi

like bear showed  :selfharm:

Well then what do you think of a woman who will get engaged to a man who is practically a stranger to her? She may in fact BE a scammer, no one (including her fiance) knows her well enough to make that judgment, and that in itself speaks volumes.

[Jazzyclassy]

I think they are both strange in this case

[alantodd]

I guess the good news it will be more than 6 months on process time.  So hopefully they both figure it out by than.

[Al_C]

I was in that position two years ago, having to pull the plug on one a week before her interview in Moscow.  I waited until the end because I tried to save the relationship, albeit unsuccessfully.  Then the zero hour came, and I had to stop her from getting that visa.

Here is what worked:  I sent a letter to the embassy stating that I no longer loved her and had no intention to either marry her or support her.  I sent it International Guaranteed Mail ($65.00), but it was worth it considering what it would have cost me had she come here armed with an affidavit by me promising to support her.

You signed the affidavit too. So don't let her come here unless you are confident you can save the relationship.  Pull the plug before it is too late.

[timothe]

I think the crew here is being overly harsh.  The situation happened to me, too, with my former/current fiancee almost 5 years ago.  In our case, she got cold feet when I lost my job and then I lost interest after she got her interview packet and wanted to renew relations.  (of course, the 13 month wait for the interview didn't help matters )

Yes, if two people love each other, they can survive every challenge.  But it's not easy for each person to know the other person enough before a decision must be made.  A lot of things can happen and it's not always the man's fault.  (or the woman's fault for that matter)  I think it may be hasty to judge jj's situation when he is asking for help.  (maybe we shouldn't judge him at all...just answer his question )

I'm amazed at how so many people on this board were so certain in Bear's situation about how he should go back to FSU again and meet a nice girl when it is apparent that Bear probably can't make enough trips or earn enough money in a short period of time to prevent a situation like this from happening.  Yet this situation happens to JJ and people start jumping in about how he didn't spend enough time being sure before starting the process.  *shrug*
I think many people here want to cheerlead the prospective man to get on the plane and meet people when we should be advising our new people to be more cautious and careful.   
   

[wxman]

I'm amazed at how so many people on this board were so certain in Bear's situation about how he should go back to FSU again and meet a nice girl when it is apparent that Bear probably can't make enough trips or earn enough money in a short period of time to prevent a situation like this from happening.  Yet this situation happens to JJ and people start jumping in about how he didn't spend enough time being sure before starting the process.  *shrug*
I think many people here want to cheerlead the prospective man to get on the plane and meet people when we should be advising our new people to be more cautious and careful.     

There is a really big difference. Bear did not get engaged and did not file I-129F.

[acrzybear]

There is a really big difference. Bear did not get engaged and did not file I-129F.

Nor would I unless I was sure it was the right lady, and that would take more then 2 trips.

  At my current level I get 5 weeks of vacation a year with 150+ in the "bank" now, it also helps that I only work 4 days a week. That's not including the massive amount of sick time I have saved up.  Realistically and financially I could go to Russia 2-3 times a year if I needed to.  If I found a lady that I thought I might marry, I would spend as much time as possible with her. If it took 2 years to do, then so be it, but 2 visits and proposal?  Not in my lifetime.

[DKMM]

I too had moments like this (wondering about cancelling the process) and its a bad place to be emotionally and mentally.  What saved my butt was enough vacation time and $$ to put in the in person time to get to know each other better after filing.  I feel incredibly lucky we made it through our troubles (probably lost some of my life expectancy due to stress though).  I highly recommend taking a minimum of 3 trips or a month together before engaging to avoid this type of situation from happening.

Our govt doesn't help matters though because the now 7-8 months of waiting encourage people to jump the gun on filing a K-1.