I agree that women want the whole package just like men want the whole package. But as you know, everyone has liabilities that go along with those assets, so it's a matter of priority in some instances. (Do I go after the girl who is 10 in looks, 9 in personality, but 5 in family values?) I think it's wishful thinking for someone to be a 10 in all categories.
Of course, the other part of this equation is obtainability. In this case, I agree with you to an extent. As a guy pushing 130kg, can I really expect a model quality woman 20 years younger than me to stick with me through best and the worst life has to offer? I think that's unrealistic.
But that doesn't mean I can't find a woman who is attractive to me and attracted to me just because I'm fat. Not all women see weight as the number one requirement in a relationship. And those that are shallow enough to look at life that way are not desirable to me.
I've always wondered what happens to these beautiful people when they get old and they are not beautiful anymore. What if the woman gets ugly first? Or if she gets in a car accident and her appearance is ruined? Does the man leave because he has made such great sacrifices to stay in shape that it is unfair to him to be stuck with an ugly woman? Does the woman who has cared for her body her whole life leave the man because later in life, he grew large amounts of body hair?
I simply can't imagine relations where appearance is the base necessity. It just seems like so much can and will go wrong with that kind of search. And I've dated a lot of women, Russian and American, who never gave me a second chance because of my appearance. Too bad for them.
To me, appearance is only important to the extent where it becomes intolerable. The woman I am going to marry is very beautiful, but she's not slim. She is also very intelligent, caring, funny, outgoing, and responsible. She is considerably better than any woman I could have a chance with in USA. By the same token, I am the best thing that happened to her as well. No good man in her city who could take care of her would accept a 33yr old woman with a teenage child when there are so many younger women without children that are available.
At the end of the day, I think that's what makes a good relationship possible. Both people need to believe they are getting the best person they could possibly obtain. For a man, that may be looks only or it may be deeper than that and the same for a woman. But you can't paint the broad brush that a fat man can't reasonably expect to have relations with a thin woman because the brush only applies to those who hang in shallower water.
