Shopping List...

[Todd]

Hi All,

Being a generally clueless shopper, I was wondering if I could tap the collective wisdom of those RW's who have moved to the US.  Is there anything that I should buy in advance of her coming?  Is my approach of just waiting for her to come and THEN shopping the right choice?  When you first came to the US, what were some of the first things that you needed to buy?

 

Thanks for your help,

 

Todd 

[MandM]

Hi Todd,

I think getting new bed sheets and bath towels would be a very good idea(if you haven't done so already), so she wouldn't be wondering who slept on those sheets before her! For other stuff, I am sure it will be fine if you just take her shopping when she arrives, so she can pick what she wants. If you do it yourself, you might end up getting a wrong colour or something! You know, we RW are so fussy.....

[catzenmouse]

Hi Todd,

I think getting new bed sheets and bath towels would be a very good idea(if you haven't done so already), so she wouldn't be wondering who slept on those sheets before her! For other stuff, I am sure it will be fine if you just take her shopping when she arrives, so she can pick what she wants. If you do it yourself, you might end up getting a wrong colour or something! You know, we RW are so fussy.....

As long as you have the basics you will be fine. If she likes to cook then perhaps some fresh beets and other borsch ingredients would be nice to have around.

 Don't forget to have a nice bunch of flowers waiting for her (odd number) when she comes in the front door. Elena has her moments but over all she is anything but fussy!

Ken

[BC]

..flowers when she gets off the plane and some more to brighten up your home.

Snacks and eat out first night.. don't think cooking with jetlag is much fun.. go shopping together after a long rest.

[Bruce]

The more support you initially give her when she arrives the better.  New clean sheets in a comfortable room is a start along with a clean home, clean shower, new soap and new supplies.

Chances are you will have to re-do alot of your house according to or at least compromising with her tastes ie. curtains, wallpaper, rugs etc.  She will probably want alot of new dishes, cooking utensils, pots and pans etc. but you can go shopping for those sorts of items together.

Slippers for her as well as you are a good start since she is probably used to taking off her shoes and putting on slippers in the house.  I suggest you learn to do the same ie. taking off your shoes and getting slippers / sandals for the house only.

Set aside closet space and a vanity for her.  Flowers are a nice initial touch - but my wife hates the idea of flowers because she feels it is a waste of money and should be used sparringly.  Now jewelry - thats another ball of wax, but one you should give in time.

Make sure you have a new calling card and make sure she knows she can call home as often for as long as she likes.  Make sure she knows how to use it on her own.  Plan on showing her around your environment within the first two weeks especially, step by step so she can master your / her environment on her own.  This is very important to her confidence.  Give her a minimum of $300 cash and let her know if she needs / wants to spend it you'll give her more - providing you discuss what it is spent on.  My wife never has less than $300 and I think that helps keep her confident and happy.  Getting her to spend the money is a bit more difficult.

Play it by ear, listen to her needs and give her all the support you possibly can.

[BC]

.. and take lots of time off for her.

[mischief]

Agree with everything said above... make sure your house is clean, especially the bathroom… new sheets and towels absolutely necessary … substantial space in closet, dresser and cabinet and drawers in the bathroom - it'll make her feel at home not just like a visitor… a welcome card and flowers will be nice too! Don't go shopping together the very first day - get some fruits, cheese, ham, fresh baked bread, wine, chocolate (or Raffaello - most women like this treat!)... don't forget tea (BIGELOW- Raspberry is not bad)..
Take time off and show as much of the city as possible…

With regards to shopping, ask her to make a list what she needs right away and get it…. as for the others things like home décor - do together window-shopping at different stores  to start … it'll give her an idea of variety of stuff available and different prices…

[jb]

Although this question was directed specifically to the board's RWs I hope you don't mind me chiming in with another 2 cents worth.

The things that were important to my wife when she first arrived was a clean kitchen and bathroom.  The bed had "ghosts" from lovers past, and had to go, changing the linens was not an acceptable solution.  The bed simply had to be replaced.  I knew about this and bought the new bed a month before she arrived and didn't use it until she got here.  She helped take the new mattress out of the plastic wrapping herself.

I think this attitude may be directed to most of the other items in a house, a woman will silently wonder how many women sat on that sofa with you and watched TV, how many times some other woman used those pots and pans to fix a family style meal, how many "ghosts" reside in the rest of the cupboards and closets that you would never even dream of, those thoughts will cross her mind.

These things are one more reason why a man must have a little nest egg he can spend immediately upon her arrival.  I don't think any woman relocating thousands of miles to a new home wants to move into another woman's nest.  It needs to be "her" house from the very beginning.

I don't pretend to be an expert on how women think, but these things seem to me are self evident.

[MandM]

Well, a new bed sounds perfect. But I think it's better if you go shopping for this item together, so she can have her word in choosing it!

Meeting her with flowers shouldn't be even discussed here - it's a must! Bottle of champagne chilling in their fridge, and a nice meal. Every time I go to Russia my parents cook a three course meal and we eat it at 5 o'clock in the morning when I arrive! Seeing them going into all the trouble of preparing it makes me feel loved.

Plenty of room in the closet, of course, a fluffy dressing gown, a slippers and toiletries - all new!

[Todd]

Wow!  This is great!  Keep the ideas coming.

It is interesting; Kate has already mentioned how much she likes the linens in Belarus.  She made a point of asking me the size of my mattress today so that she could bring her own!

As for cleaning the house, the maid comes 2 days prior to Kate coming.  (She has already "suggested" that this might be the maid's last month....something about other people unlikely to get things clean enough. ...)

I am planning on meeting her at the airport with flowers (an odd number), but I hadn't planned on having a meal laid out for her arrival as her plane ARRIVES at 11:45 p.m., and we won't be at home until 1:00 a.m..  However, I do like the idea of making sure to have some of her favorite fruits and vegetables in the fridge.

As for furniture and cooking implements, I've already warned her about my lack of either.  (Two bean bag chairs, one pan, and one pot...neither used.)  We have agreed that we will go shopping for what she wants once she arrives. 

She already has a credit card in her name that I will activate next week so that she can make purchases and I will get a phone card next week.  I'm also opening up a bank account for her so that she can get used to using a debit card.

I've also just bought a brand new computer with a slick new flat screen monitor since I imagine she will be using that a great deal to chat with her friends.  (However, I must admit the brand new computer speakers were primarily for me.)

thanks for all the great ideas...

[BC]

I've also just bought a brand new computer with a slick new flat screen monitor since I imagine she will be using that a great deal to chat with her friends.  (However, I must admit the brand new computer speakers were primarily for me.)

Have her bring along a good cyrillic keyboard and favorite operating system/software in Russian. Set up the new box for dual operating systems (dual boot?) Official software is much cheaper there.

[525i]

As for cleaning the house, the maid comes 2 days prior to Kate coming.  (She has already "suggested" that this might be the maid's last month....something about other people unlikely to get things clean enough. ...)

I am planning on meeting her at the airport with flowers (an odd number), but I hadn't planned on having a meal laid out for her arrival as her plane ARRIVES at 11:45 p.m., and we won't be at home until 1:00 a.m..  However, I do like the idea of making sure to have some of her favorite fruits and vegetables in the fridge.

As for furniture and cooking implements, I've already warned her about my lack of either.  (Two bean bag chairs, one pan, and one pot...neither used.)  We have agreed that we will go shopping for what she wants once she arrives.

Why does the maid clean the house? You should do it yourself! My Tanya is coming to visit in here in about three weeks. I have started to clean my house. Yesterday I finished washing the windows. I have too many of them! Next I'll clean the walls and floors. Then I wash all the curtains. When I have washed most of my rugs (by myself, of course), I am done. Of course I will clean sauna and bathroom also, and toilets. I am on my vacation now, so I have time. I will feel fine when I'm finished, and I bet Tanya will appreciate my efforts.

Don't forget to clean your car. Vacuum it and clean all surfaces inside and wash your car just before you go to get her.

Most Russians like tea (me too). Most like to have sweet things with tea, I think, (well, I do), so if you have dry chocolate cake and pie with strawberries she would have her sweet tooth taken care of. No, do not go to shop and buy them! Go to shop and buy items needed and then make them yourself! It's not that hard. If you have never done it before, Kate would be very glad to realise what you would do for her.

If you can make sandwich cake (which is not sweet), Kate probably would like to have it with tea.

When you'll be home at 1:00 am, boil water for tea, and drink it and offer her pie and cake, made by yourself. I don't know where Kate lives, but the time difference might be 7 hours, so it's 8:00 am in her internal clock at 1 am, and she has not slept for a long time and she is very tired, so probably she is too tired for sex, but maybe she is not too tired. You'll see that later.

For me the time zone change (10 hours, Finland-California) was difficult. I could not sleep at night at first. I did not feel sleepy during daytime either. It took almost a week to get used to new place and rhythm. When I came back home, I had different problems. During the first night I could sleep six hours (I was very tired). On the next day I started to feel sleepy at 12 am. At 7 pm I was not rired anymore, so when I went to sleep, I did not sleep at all. It took three days for me to go back to normal rhythm.

If Tanya uses the same flight I did, she'll arrive at 9:50 pm and we would be at my place around 1:00 am. Tanya lives in the same time zone with me (Ukraine, Finland) so it is not so tough for her than it's for Kate. Before I go to Helsinki airport, I will make something for us to have with tea.

[catzenmouse]

Another thought would be to check out any local Russian grocery stores for some good chocolate, or the sweet bagel looking cookies, birch tree juice, and bread. We only have one small one in our area but it does make her happy to get these things occasionally.

Ken

[Wayne]

Hello all,

My Fiancee, Oksana, and her Daughter, Yana, have visa appointment scedudeled for 24 August 2005.  They wlll come to Michigan as soon as she gets the visas.  I am preparing my home.  Certainly, I will clean the car and whole house.  I have new slippers, sheets, blankets, pillows, etc.  When I sent Oksana a photograph of my bedroom, she said the bed is too small!  Actually, it is a standard double size, but it looks small to her because my bedroom is as large as her whole apartment.  Now, I bought a new, king size bed head board, foot board and frame.  I will get a new materess soon.  I bought a 3" thick memory form topper already.

Oksana is a Hairdresser.  I bought some used salon chairs and have an area where I can install a shampoo sink, as the plumbing is already there.  She will not be able to get a job in a salon until after she gets the Michigan license, but she can practice on friends and family at our home. 

I down loaded all the information that she will need and printed it out for obtaining the Hairdresser license.  I also printed out all the rules she will need to learn for getting a driver's license in Michigan. 

I purchased a hair dryer, CD player for Yana, many new towels.  I have a book written by two Russian people who have lived in America for ten years about how to adjust to life here.  One side of the page is in English, the other in Russian.  The advise sounds good.

I planted a vegetable garden with everything she likes to eat. 

I got a new kitchen range a month ago, and a new refrigerator will come next week.  I have a new home that I designed and build myself and am just finishing it.  I have some new pots and pans.  Furniture and window coverings can come later, although the bedrooms all have drapes or blinds. 

What am I forgetting?

 

 

 

[Turboguy]

Darn you are in good shape.   The only thing I can think of is a Russian Keyboard for your computer.   I just ordered mine two days ago on ebay for $ 7.95 plus shipping. 

Since you are all ready so early, come down and help me out.  I have a dining room full of kithcen cabinets, no furniture, no sink, the bathtub is in a bedroom, the wall paper is on rolls,  There are big rolls of carpet everywhere and I have 14 days to work with.   Well 13 1/2

Hey, you sound like you are in good shape.  

 

 

[Todd]

Thanks for all the good ideas (except for 525i who has gotten me in trouble...Kate's first words to me when I called her today...."I want a chocolate cake...."  apparently, she had read 525i's comments before me, and, now, I look to be quite lacking... Incidentally, this aside is meant in good humor.  I told Kate that if I start fiddling in the kitchen she might not have a place to come to.)

So, here are a couple of more things that I did today.  I bought a Cyrillic Keyboard through Amazon.com.  (Thanks Turboguy.)  I've also added her to my cell phone plan for an additional $20/month for the next 2 years AND a free phone.  Both will arrive next week.

Also, I thought the ideas listed by Wayne were also great... especially the car idea.   I actually grew up in Michigan and realize how important driving is in the upper Midwest.  However, I presently live in Boston.  I've actually never owned a car, and Kate seems to have little interest in learning how to drive during the first few months she is here.  I can't say that I blame her; I rarely rent around here due to traffic issues.   Once she found out the subway is a 8 minute walk, she was totally comfortable.  (I will get her a T-map.)

One of my best ideas is when we were together 10 days ago in Lithuania I brought her a 30 GB IPOD.  (She could pick her 1 year anniversary present: an IPOD or something golden from a Souk in Saudi Arabia.)  By the time that I had arrived home and was calling to tell her that I was safe, she already had 800 songs loaded.  She says that the only minus is that several boys have been casting covetous glances at it.  I figure the she won't have the space in her luggage to bring the CD's, but she can bring all the music anyway.

[Jet]

[user=266]525i[/user] wrote:

 My Tanya is coming to visit in here in about three weeks. I have started to clean my house. Yesterday I finished washing the windows. I have too many of them! Next I'll clean the walls and floors. Then I wash all the curtains. When I have washed most of my rugs (by myself, of course), I am done.

 

Done?

I don't see where you'll have washed the ceilings (with bleach) .


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Todd,

Here's a couple links to russian websites specific to the Boston area. Not sure if they'll help, but they may be usefull in locating Russian food stores and other services in your area:

http://www.russianmass.com/

http://www.russianboston.com/

[MandM]

Todd,

BTW, how is your fiancee's English? It must be good, if she is reading this forum? Is she from Belorussia by any chance?

[MandM]

Todd,

Please ignore my previous post - I had all my questions answered. Sorry for being so nosy, guys...

I think your finacee is a very smart and lovely lady and I wish you both loads of hapiness together!

Elle

 

[Turboguy]

Todd,

I had another thought.  How about Dish TV with the Russian Channels.   That is something she might enjoy

 

[Todd]

I asked about the TV, but she doesn't really watch much.  Here favorite channels run in the vein of the discovery channel.  She does like movies though, and I imagine that we will have to negotiate the Netflix cue with some compromise. 

Thanks Jet for the websites; I will forward them on to Kate.

[Sivrug]

Todd

I think that the DishNetwork is a good idea. We have had it a year now and Olenka still enjoys watching Russian programs. Hell, I even like to watch the cops shows in Russian. Another thing that she enjoys and uses is her GMS cell phone to send and receive text messages from friends and family.

Before Olenka arrived I did the new bed thing, towels, misc bathroom/kitchen stuff and repainted the house. This was good but a month later she started redoing most of everything in the house. This month is redo the spare bedroom and funriture. The yard and garden is always a constant project.

[jb]

Sivrug,

I doesn't end...

We just moved into a new house and already Etna is thinking of re-doing things.  She loved everything about the house when she saw it, now she can't stand the color of the bathrooms and the master bedroom.  I said, "gee, honey, it's a nice shade of pastel blue".  She says the color reminds her of the public toilets in Moscow.  

So,,, there goes my next free weekend. <sigh>

[ConnerVT]

Could be worse, jb.  Tomorrow I start sanding the cabinets in the kitchen.  I need to get them refinished, and the walls and ceiling repainted, before the guys show up with the new flooring in 2 weeks.  Oh, yeah, I'm also working a full schedule (12 hr/shift) on the day job.  Need to get everything done before the Mrs. returns in four weeks...

[Turboguy]

Sivrug,

I doesn't end...

We just moved into a new house and already Etna is thinking of re-doing things. She loved everything about the house when she saw it, now she can't stand the color of the bathrooms and the master bedroom. I said, "gee, honey, it's a nice shade of pastel blue". She says the color reminds her of the public toilets in Moscow.

So,,, there goes my next free weekend. <sigh>

jb, heck, that is not much of a problem.   There is a saying "Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day, Teach a man to fish, and you have fed him for a lifetime"   Give her some education.  Hand her the paint brush and the can of paint.

Conner,  I think I would trade places with you.   My kitchen cabinets are in the living room in boxes and I would hang them on the walls except the walls I am going to hang them on are still at Home Depot.    I only have 10 days to work with before I go get my gal, and the carpet guys come in 6 to put carpeting on the floors they can't get too because they are covered with boxes of kitchen cabinets.   The only good thing is I can take Thursday and Friday off.