MAN QUIZ...

[MaxxumUSA]

Ok...  I've seen a few on the Internet.  Maybe we can make our own.  I was reading another thread and a man was actually COMPLAINING that his hot russian wife was going hand in hand with her 20 something daughter around him.

So...  I have some serious questions myself.  These are based on my take on what life is (partly) about and I would like some other people to add a few questions also.  Maybe we can get a nice official quiz at the end.

My answers will be C.

1.  Your 40 something attractive wife has a young 20 something daughter.  They enjoy each other and walk arm to arm in front of you when the three of you are together.  Do you:
a.  Feel left out, and seclude yourself into a slight depression and say nothing.
b.  Feel left out, then secretly seek advice of others of how to deal with the situation.
c.  Happily walk behind them...  checking out BOTH women, and create fantasies as desired for later use.  (NOTE:  This totally assumes the girl is not your daughter.)

2.  Can you back up a trailer?
a.  Only if I have someone guiding me.
b.  I don't drive cars/trucks with trailers, that's what my brother does.
c.  Of course, any size.

3.  When you get a flat tire on a highway and you're all alone... You:
a.  Call AAA
b.  Call your wife and ask her what to do.
c.  Replace the damn tire and never mention a word because it's just not a big deal at all.

[Phil dAmore]

1)  I maintain there is a greater issue here than just the women walking together.  RW can be totally oblivious to the fact that they are being rude.  It will never occur to them that they might be doing something that offends or disturbs you. 

It happens to me all the time.  There I am, deeply involved in some activity and in walks Nina chattering away about something causing me to completely lose my train of thought.  Or, I'm watching a film and the phone rings.  She takes the call (because I rarely get phone calls) and remains in the room rendering it impossible to maintain focus on the film.

If I ever-so-gently mention this she gets all upset and says I don't want her around. 


2)  Any clown can back up a single trailer and if they can't then they shouldn't be driving at all..  Now someone who can back up a set of doubles or triples... now there is a driver!

3) Absolutely.

[Bruce]

1.  Russian men and women walk side by side.  Chinese women walk behind their husbands.

2.  I have no idea, but I know I would hire somebody to do the truck driving for me.

3.  C with the caveat that I would tell my wife. 

[Admin]

Ok...  I've seen a few on the Internet.  Maybe we can make our own.  I was reading another thread and a man was actually COMPLAINING that his hot russian wife was going hand in hand with her 20 something daughter around him.

So...  I have some serious questions myself.  These are based on my take on what life is (partly) about and I would like some other people to add a few questions also.  Maybe we can get a nice official quiz at the end.

My answers will be C.

1.  Your 40 something attractive wife has a young 20 something daughter.  They enjoy each other and walk arm to arm in front of you when the three of you are together.  Do you:
a.  Feel left out, and seclude yourself into a slight depression and say nothing.
b.  Feel left out, then secretly seek advice of others of how to deal with the situation.
c.  Happily walk behind them...  checking out BOTH women, and create fantasies as desired for later use.  (NOTE:  This totally assumes the girl is not your daughter.)

2.  Can you back up a trailer?
a.  Only if I have someone guiding me.
b.  I don't drive cars/trucks with trailers, that's what my brother does.
c.  Of course, any size.

3.  When you get a flat tire on a highway and you're all alone... You:
a.  Call AAA
b.  Call your wife and ask her what to do.
c.  Replace the damn tire and never mention a word because it's just not a big deal at all.

That is a really GREAT idea!

I'll try to come up with a couple and contribute a bit later today.

- Dan

[jb]

1.) Since I usually tune the women folk chatter out anyway... What's the problem?

2.) I can back up any size, any place, any hour of the day.  Given 6 inches of room on either side and I can put a 40 footer on a dime.  Never fooled with a double or a triple though.

3.) Other than the mental griping about the cost of replacement tires, you'd never hear a word.

[Jet]

 

3.) Other than the mental griping about the cost of replacement tires, you'd never hear a word.

Ya know, I'd LOVE to know who owns the cars that fit those Pep Boys "$99 for 4 tires" specials.
I've never owned a vehicle that the tires ran less than $165 ea.  :seething:

[jb]

Jet,

I hear ya.  I just put new rubber on the 4X4 Suburban, good aggressive, heavy lug, all weather redials w/60,000 warranty, after mounting and balancing, I wrote a check for just shy of a grand.   The wife's new Toyota Camry had a blow out and the replacement tire for that little car was $100.00.    Maybe I should shop at Pep Boys,,, nawww.  I like good tires.

P.S.  I'm procrastinating about going to the field this AM, it snowed here last night and with the wind chill, the outside temp is -9.  I made the mistake of checking Weather.com and see the temp at home in Corpus is 72... crap~!

[Makkin]

(2)  Back her up myself unless it's uphill or at an intersection with the coppers floating around..lol

(3) I would change that tire like a man on fire M8..lol

(1) Hmm..lol

Makkin

[groovlstk]

3.  When you get a flat tire on a highway and you're all alone... You:
a.  Call AAA
b.  Call your wife and ask her what to do.
c.  Replace the damn tire and never mention a word because it's just not a big deal at all.

OT, but one of my major pet peeves w/the tire industry is that whenever I buy new tires the mechanics these days torque the lug nuts to an insane degree, and sometimes it's impossible to remove a tire using the manufacturer's provided kit. I keep a 3-foot length of pipe in my trunk just for this sort of problem. Last time I had a flat was on Father's Day of this year while driving down the NJ Turnpike. I pulled to the breakdown lane and made my wife stand in a safe area while I changed the tire. The bad tire was on the driver's side so my ass was hanging out in highway the entire time, meanwhile every semi that passed had to lean on their horns as they caught site of my wife in a miniskirt. 

[MaxxumUSA]

1.) Since I usually tune the women folk chatter out anyway... What's the problem?

2.) I can back up any size, any place, any hour of the day.  Given 6 inches of room on either side and I can put a 40 footer on a dime.  Never fooled with a double or a triple though.

3.) Other than the mental griping about the cost of replacement tires, you'd never hear a word.

Those are MANSWERS!  Good job JB!

10 points each first two answers!  Griping about the cost of a replacement tire?  You lose three points out of a total of 10 for that.  Real men just don't care because griping is the same as complaining is the same as nagging.  We just don't do that.  So 7 points for the third answer is a total of 27 points.  A real man accepts his circumstances and makes the best without complaint.

OT, but one of my major pet peeves w/the tire industry is that whenever I buy new tires the mechanics these days torque the lug nuts to an insane degree, and sometimes it's impossible to remove a tire using the manufacturer's provided kit. I keep a 3-foot length of pipe in my trunk just for this sort of problem. Last time I had a flat was on Father's Day of this year while driving down the NJ Turnpike. I pulled to the breakdown lane and made my wife stand in a safe area while I changed the tire. The bad tire was on the driver's side so my ass was hanging out in highway the entire time, meanwhile every semi that passed had to lean on their horns as they caught site of my wife in a miniskirt. 

Groov buddy...  You get 10 points for changing the tire.  You get 20 points for having a hot wife that truckers honked at.

But groov...  You lose man points 5 points for bitching about the lug nuts being too tight.  You lose an additional 10 points for posting that information on the Internet.  You also lose 2 points for even remembering the details a simple tire change.
So...  10+20=30  (-5)+(-10)+(-2) = -17
30-17= 13 man points for you.  Not bad.

Having a wife with a mini skirt might raise your points a bit...  but I'll let others chime in here on that one.

(All in good fun BTW)

[dneid]

Hey, Maxxum.....
Trying for the max of 30 points....

1) Stay behind and enjoy the view AND enjoy any other scenery without getting busted for letting my eyes do some walking.... extra points for that one?

2) I can back just about anything in.  You ought to see my race partner and I backing in the double trailers with 2 911s on separate trailers at the track.... haven't scratched a car or truck or anything yet.  How about a few bonus points for having 2 911 race cars in tow on two trailers towed with the RV?

3) Just change the darn thing!!  I keep a 4 point lug wrench in all my cars because most factory log wrenches just suck!!  Now, that has to be worth a bonus point or two....


Loving the thread!!!

[jb]

How about a few bonus points for having 2 911 race cars in tow on two trailers towed with the RV?

Might qualify for 1 point each car or motorcycle, but the REAL MAN hobbies involve a good dog, a gun, and killing something to eat.  Drinking beer and fishing should also qualify for extra points if we are to be fair about this.

[KenC]

OK, Maxxum, I'll bite.

1.  When walking behind the mother/daughter scenareo, I have no problem at all, but do I get extra points for being married to the daughter?  My wife and her Mom walk like this all the time when the MIL visits.  Let them enjoy each other for the few weeks they are together.  I have her the rest of the year to myself.  (Oh, and they are also speaking to each other in non stop Russian too.  I am secure enough to not worry about it unlike some here)

2. I am actually pretty good with trailers having had boats, wave runners and many other trailers.

3.Well, I have changed a tire on my trailer on the side of an expressway in a blizzard back in Michigan.  Extra points for snow and trailer, as I see it.
KenC

[Ste]

You guys still have cheques (checks)? We're chip and pin here!

I changed my first tyre on trip one of my first ever car. New (to me) Toyota Celica 2000ST, erroneously fitted with too-wide Celica Supra tyre and alloys, kept rubbing on the wheel arches over bumps....

Anyway, on top of the Lancashire Moors, famous for Witch Burning (google Pendle Witches) past midnight, pissing down, blew out a n/s front at 70mph hardly noticed to be honest. Changed it without even knowing if I had a toolkit in the boot.

I did, changed it with the headlamps on for vision, engine off, not knowing at that time my battery was duff......

Luckily, I started the engine, but you know the feeling, it was such a lazy start I don't think I would have got away with another.

Ahh, those edgy days of risky motoring, I got a Lexus now, I AM the person I never wanted to be - WTF happened to me....?

[KenC]

You guys still have cheques (checks)? We're chip and pin here!

I changed my first tyre on trip one of my first ever car. New (to me) Toyota Celica 2000ST, erroneously fitted with too-wide Celica Supra tyre and alloys, kept rubbing on the wheel arches over bumps....

Anyway, on top of the Lancashire Moors, famous for Witch Burning (google Pendle Witches) past midnight, pissing down, blew out a n/s front at 70mph hardly noticed to be honest. Changed it without even knowing if I had a toolkit in the boot.

I did, changed it with the headlamps on for vision, engine off, not knowing at that time my battery was duff......

Luckily, I started the engine, but you know the feeling, it was such a lazy start I don't think I would have got away with another.

Ahh, those edgy days of risky motoring, I got a Lexus now, I AM the person I never wanted to be - WTF happened to me....?

You grew up?  Nah, that can't be it!!!!!!
KenC

[Photo Guy]

Ste,
I was reading your post with Pink Floyd's 'Money' in the background.

[Jumper]

1.  Your 40 something attractive wife has a young 20 something daughter.  They enjoy each other and walk arm to arm in front of you when the three of you are together.  Do you:
a.  Feel left out, and seclude yourself into a slight depression and say nothing.
b.  Feel left out, then secretly seek advice of others of how to deal with the situation.
c.  Happily walk behind them...  checking out BOTH women, and create fantasies as desired for later use.  (NOTE:  This totally assumes the girl is not your daughter.)

d.none of the above.i wouldnt feel left out,
 nor would i want to check out her daughter, or in my case ,her mother..
regardless of thier level of relative hotness, it would be like watching my sister.. just odd or weird.
 i'd probably go do something i found more interesting ,
 and let the girls have thier fun.....


2.  Can you back up a trailer?
a.  Only if I have someone guiding me.
b.  I don't drive cars/trucks with trailers, that's what my brother does.
c.  Of course, any size.

c.of course, any size.

but I'm sure i'll lose big points for a baja trip where i had a few too many
post race "daddy pops",  and failed to notice that on a crappy roads back roads,
i had not only had a flat, but had drug the dang trailer so far ,
that the complete axle was missing and most of the arse of the trailer for that matter.i knew we where trailing alot of dust, but thats normal down there.. LOL
Just strapped the remains on the top of my old  blazer..
 we hadnt seen a soul for a few hundred miles ,the speed you can go on those roads is  about 8 mph,  and where just headed to a makeshift camp on the beach anyway..  lame excuses and stupidity hurts sometimes....
 wasnt my trailer and i had to buy a new onme for the "unfortunant loanee"

3.  When you get a flat tire on a highway and you're all alone... You:
a.  Call AAA
b.  Call your wife and ask her what to do.
c.  Replace the damn tire and never mention a word because it's just not a big deal at all.

normally c. of course!
 but see the above *trailer* example for alternate scenerios....

[Daveman]

First gotta grade Dave, then my answers to follow:

1.  Your 40 something attractive wife has a young 20 something daughter.  They enjoy each other and walk arm to arm in front of you when the three of you are together.  Do you:

c.  Happily walk behind them...  checking out BOTH women, and create fantasies as desired for later use.  (NOTE:  This totally assumes the girl is not your daughter.)

Looking at the wife (you've already ordered 'dinner'... time to check out the rest of the menu  )
-15

But.. noticing the fine hind parts of the daughter +4
Admitting fantasies of the daughter in a public forum +1
That's okay, you'll make up some points with the next two:

2.  Can you back up a trailer?

c.  Of course, any size.

forgetting to attach the vehicle first - 15
But, manhandling the trailer without a vehicle attached +10

3.  When you get a flat tire on a highway and you're all alone... You:

c.  Replace the damn tire and never mention a word because it's just not a big deal at all.

Good answer. +10
Not throwing up the night before driving +5  bonus points 

Pretty good, scored 25 but with the bonus, back up to 30...


Okay, my answers

1) I wander off alone and get lost, but refuse to ask for directions.

2) sub a) No problem..  can put the bass boat anywhere, using the truck of course, but
          b) took an American woman fishing
          c) didn't bring beer
          d) Tossed her in the lake, but
          e) let her get back in the boat
          f) scared her with a plastic worm

3) sub a) Never had a flat in a 4 wheel vehicle while driving, but
         b) Blew out the front tire off the bike at about 65mph
         c) It was only 65mph
         d) Fought with bowel control
         e) regained composure and safely brought the bike to the right lane
         f) no cell phone
         g) refused to leave it on the highway and pushed it on the rim about 2 miles to the next exit
         h) had to use engine power to assist in moving up the incline
         i)  Was en route to the lake, saddlebags were iced with beer
         j) it was non alcoholic beer

[MaxxumUSA]

KenC...  YES...  you do get points for being married to the daughter.  But you lose a few points asking for bonus points.  Real men don't care much about the score unless there is a wager.

AJ...  you actually RECEIVE points for the trailer problem.  Real men don't need a rear view mirror, and therefore ignore anything seen in it - including police lights.  If it IS a cop and he REALY wants YOU to pull over...  he'll need to get up beside you and wave you over.

Daveman...  Unsure how to score yours. I think you're confused a bit but there is good hope for you.  I figure the bike was NOT a harley - otherwise you would have mentioned so...  Riding a bike is manly.  Riding a harley is more manly.

Hey, Maxxum.....
Trying for the max of 30 points....

1) Stay behind and enjoy the view AND enjoy any other scenery without getting busted for letting my eyes do some walking.... extra points for that one?

2) I can back just about anything in.  You ought to see my race partner and I backing in the double trailers with 2 911s on separate trailers at the track.... haven't scratched a car or truck or anything yet.  How about a few bonus points for having 2 911 race cars in tow on two trailers towed with the RV?

3) Just change the darn thing!!  I keep a 4 point lug wrench in all my cars because most factory log wrenches just suck!!  Now, that has to be worth a bonus point or two....


Loving the thread!!!

Denied...

Real men don't ask for bonus points.

And...  real American men drive American muscle.  If those 911's were 60's ford cobra's (with ford motors, not a chevy) then you would score more points.  Being that this IS an international forum I will not deduct for this - but rather just pointing out that not all men consider 911's manly.  I think all men WOULD consider a 427 cobra manly.

You still do average but not a perfect 30.

Ste...  Ste scores the highest thus far.  He ignored the questions he didn't want to answer, and answered the one he did in the way he felt like.  He just doesn't care about a score.


JB...  I agree.  Anything catching a fish, shooting meat for food, or sipping suds would be considered manly.

I would add playing poker to that mix.

[Daveman]

Daveman...  Unsure how to score yours. I think you're confused a bit but there is good hope for you.  I figure the bike was NOT a harley - otherwise you would have mentioned so...  Riding a bike is manly.  Riding a harley is more manly.

A bike *is* a Harley (sometimes Triumphs are acceptable), anything else is a motorcycle.     Confusion is underrated... but a state of stupor reigns supreme.  Where's my non alcoholic beer...

[MaxxumUSA]

A bike *is* a Harley (sometimes Triumphs are acceptable), anything else is a motorcycle.     

Good manswer!

Any of you have more questions to add to the quiz?  I can come up with quite a few but I was hoping to hear some others man quiz questions.

[Phil dAmore]

A bike *is* a Harley (sometimes Triumphs are acceptable), anything else is a motorcycle.

     

My sister and her husband have 5 bikes between them.  4 Harleys and a Gold Wing.  It's a good combination because out of 4 Harleys at least ONE of them has to run at any given time, and failing that, well the GW is reliable as a sunrise. 

Phil: Likes riding motorcycles, not fixing them!

[2tallbill]

1.  Your 40 something attractive wife has a young 20 something daughter.  They enjoy each other and walk arm to arm in front of you when the three of you are together.  Do you:
D. None of the above, I definitely look at the daughter like my kid sister

2.  Can you back up a trailer?
c.  Of course, any size. I have only backed up a 53 foot trailer one time

3.  When you get a flat tire on a highway and you're all alone... You:
c.  Replace the damn tire and never mention a word because it's just not a big deal at all.

I have had more bad tire stories than anyone I know, I even worked as a tire buster at a truck stop . The hairiest was
when I was driving back a 1968 ford bronco back from Elk hunting at the North fork of the John Day River in Oregon  at the
Desolation Unit down the knarliest corkscrew grade without guard rails that you could imagine and my back rear tire, rim, brakes and axle
all exited the vehicle. The rear bearing holds in the axle and when it wears out it stops holding the axle in place. I never found the
tire or axle, 68 broncos didn't have power steering (except arm power) and without the rear axle you also don't have brakes for
more than a second or two, it didn't have positraction so down shifting was a wasted effort (I still tried it). I didn't die because angels
must have been following me the entire time. Another time I looped my dirt bike popping the tire and breaking off the clutch perch in the bottom
of a deep canyon (I actually looped it half way up the canyon but the bottom of the canyon is where I pulled my bike out of the creek. It took
at least 7 or 8 tried to get out of the canyon with no clutch and a flat rear tire. When I got back to camp the rear rim looked like a ruffles potato
chip. The good news is I had an excellent excuse to buy super cool excell rims. I couldn't raise my arm higher than my ear for a couple of weeks but
you can't tell your buddies you are hurt unless you see visible bone or organs (ask AJ) You can however cry like a colacy baby in the shower when washing
the dirt, rocks and leaves out of your wounds as long as nobody hears you. 

Just my two kopecks.........

Bill

[Turboguy]

Might qualify for 1 point each car or motorcycle, but the REAL MAN hobbies involve a good dog, a gun, and killing something to eat.  Drinking beer and fishing should also qualify for extra points if we are to be fair about this.

I haven't posted anything controversial for a while so I am overdue.   It is a little quiet today with most celebrating Christmas anyway.

I think have the things we consider to make a real man are just things that create delusions of manhood.

jb, killing something to eat with your bare hands might make some points in my book, or if Bambi or Thumper were trained combat veterens with guns to shoot back it might score some points.   To me it is hunting is just an outlet for aggression.  A good dog?  Hmm, what is the difference between a hound dog and a french poodle?   What does a dog have to do with manhood.   Fishing?  Mostly just an excuse to do nothing with a good day.     

Harley's?  Cool, nothing to do with manhood, seems more like boyhood to me.   

I would bet that the percentage of hunters and Harley riders who go home and beat their wife is drastically higher than average.   That doesn't not make someone a man in my book.   OK, now I have had my fun, your turn.

[jb]

T/G,

Once again you demonstrate your ignorance.  The average sportsman is a very dedicated family man and the salt of the earth.

I am quite sure I would be highly criticized if I suggested someone might have a high probability of being a wife beater. However, I'm sure you will get away with it without a scolding from Dan.