Teaching moment, learn from another's missteps Part 1

[Taz]

By now you must think there is something crazy with me and all the times I’ve been stopped by the militia. Well I am on my way back, in a hurry and I get stopped yet again. I don’t want to be late for my date with Luba and her friend Nastya. Luba is definitely worth rushing to see but Nastya is an unknown quantity. I am betting not nearly as pretty as Luba but JD “deserves” it at this point.

Well apparently I made a wrong turn in my haste and I am once again greeted by the local militia. I go through my compliant but slow drill. We get to the part where I am supposed to ask; now repeat after me as I know you know the line so far, “Montana? You know Montana?” and it never comes. The officer looks at my license, obviously reads it and then hands it back and wishes me a safe journey and to be more careful. Again I was totally illiterate in Russian. I guess all you have to do is read the word “Montana” and the officer will let you go. I jam my car in reverse and get the heck out of there before he changes his mind. Time is fleeting and I have little left before my date.

I get back to the apartment. JD is there waiting for me. I can read his face. He thinks tonight is going to be a CF. He has nothing else going on so he figures he might as well hang out with me and see if Luba is as pretty as I claim. I ask him to spot me some money until we get back home and he flips me some money; enough to last the rest of our trip even if I can’t find an ATM. We hop in the car and go to pick Luba up first and then Nastya. We pull up at Luba’s place and JD is in shock. His jaw drops, his tongue about falls out and he might have been drooling. I then ask him snidely “She isn’t fat is she JD?”

She isn’t fat by any means; she is just a tall girl, that is not only well proportioned by quite beautiful. JD doesn’t really know what to say. He passed over this woman because he read too much into her photos. I’ll repeat it again; you can put too much emphasis on photos! They should only be a rough guide because you don’t know how old they are or if they were Photoshopped like many agencies do. JD knows that there is now way Nastya will be this attractive. Luba gives directions to find Nastya and we pick her up.

Let’s just say that JD isn’t overly impressed with Nastya. I think she is attractive but not stunningly so. Not really my type but nice anyway. Nastya gets in the back of the car with JD and she is really smitten by JD. JD is HER type and it is obvious. She is all over him like white on rice. She is hot to trot and wants to take him for a ride.

The ladies have a suggestion for dinner. They give directions and we arrive there in a few minutes. It is a very nice restaurant and reasonably priced. I’d like to go back but I’ll never remember where it is at due to the commotion in the back seat between JD and Nastya. Apparently Nastya has Russian hands and Roman fingers if you get my drift.

We order some vodka mostly for JD and Nastya. I am not much of a drinker. The food is very good at the restaurant. The vodka lowers Nastya’s already low inhibitions (dare I say weakness for JD) even more. JD has loosened up a bit but tells me he is “taking one for the team”. Nastya is still having a go at JD and the action is heating up. Luba has already decided this was a horrible idea and I am there with her. Her friend has pretty much gone gaga over JD. It is definitely mucking up my date with Luba. We still have good chemistry but we are having to keep Nastya in check and she continually wants me to translate things for her with JD. It has gotten to the point that it is really annoying for Luba.

Finally dinner is almost over and Mr. Murphy strikes again. The power goes out for the entire building. Normally this would be great until I hear a grunt from JD and a screech from Nastya. Apparently Nastya grabbed JD’s nipple and he responded in kind. I just can’t wait to get the heck out of the restaurant now. It takes a while but they get candles distributed to the tables. The waiter comes back and I ask for the check.  Finally we get out of that place.

JD has about 100 grams of vodka in him and Nastya at least that much. Luba and I are in the front seat of the car trying to make small talk and ignore the commotion in the back seat. Nastya giggles and makes some other weird noises. She appears to rubbing JD’s leg and making sounds. She is apparently being very insistent and invites JD in for the night. There is now way JD is going with this woman as far as I can tell. However apparently Nastya is rubbing JD the right way if you know what I mean and maybe his inhibitions are lowered enough that should could be Ms. Right Now if not Ms. Right.

Next thing I hear is an unmistakable sound. I look at Luba, she at me, and we both have a look of disgust. That sound we both just heard is the sound of a zipper being pulled down and we both know where it is emanating from. I bet all of you do as well. Just in case you haven’t figured it out by now, it was JD’s zipper on his pants. I hear sort of a scream. Now this is where the story gets a little murky and I don’t know who to believe. One thing I can be certain of is JD’s fly is open and Nastya has gone fishin’! JD claims she opened up his pants and Nastya said he initiated it. All I know is I want to vomit somewhere and leave this hell date.

At this point this date can’t end quickly enough for me or Luba. We finally divest ourselves of Luba and next out is JD. Luba and I sort of look at each other in stunned disbelief and say almost no words to each other as I drop her off at her apartment. I try to call her the next morning and my calls (and SMS’s) go unanswered and unreturned. JD has nuked me again.  I am in denial at this point. I make 2 really good connections (possible a third in the making) and JD somehow blows it all up for me.

I am wondering at this point how did I royally PO God? I am not going to lie and say I am God’s gift to women or some super stud muffin. I do have an excellent education, good career, I am tall, fairly handsome, kind eyes, sincere, great sense of humor and I could lose 10 kg. That description isn’t mine but from the last RW I had a long term relationship with. Who am I to argue with her? Well I’ve lost 5 of the 10 kg I needed and I’m working on the rest. I just can’t believe the luck I am having with JD around this trip. Normally he has little effect on my personal life there but this trip something has changed. It is like the little black storm cloud that follows him around has finally found me. I keep hoping brighter days are around the corner. I’ve already met, and lost, two of the nicest RW I’ve ever had the opportunity date. I go out to grab a late night snack and find a decent pizza place. I bring some food back for JD to help with the hangover he will likely have the next day. I do the math and realize he likely had closer to 200 grams of vodka. He isn’t much of a drinker either but definitely more than me.

Thursday is hear and as I’ve mentioned, Luba won’t answer or return my calls. I am trying not to be really upset.  JD wants to go back to another agency; the one where the director was out of town. She is back in town and we drive over their to meet. She isn’t in the office so we go to lunch. I offer up the pizza place as looked like they had pretty good sharumas too (a type of tasty sandwich).

I go the same exact way I did last night. I turn in the parking lot but I can’t find a place to park except by some hooligan looking type kids. I don’t want any issues with the rental racer. I drive on down a side street a bit. As I am getting out of the car, I see a militia officer coming toward me. This guy does not look happy at all. I tell JD to stay in the car as we are about to have a visit from the militia. For once he actually listens to me.

I can already tell this encounter is going to be different. I go through the document drill. He keeps all of them and motions for me to follow him. He walks me back about 200 meters to the main road and points at some sign hanging over the street. It attempts to communicate with his hands (since I don’t speak Russian) that I made an illegal left turn. It shows you can go straight but it doesn’t show that you can’t make a left turn where I did. I gesture back with crossed arms showing it doesn’t say that it ISN’T permitted here. We gesture back and forth and keeps saying there is a big fine for the illegal turn. I simply reply “Ya ne ponedelnik”. He gets a strange look on his face and I repeat it again. I have said it on purpose. Some of you will get it, some of you won’t.

He motions for me to go back to his car. He asks me to get into his car. This is NEVER EVER, I repeat NEVER EVER, a good idea. Avoid it all costs. I am purposely trying to push this guy a bit. I sit down in his unmarked Lada with dark tinted windows. The guy gets out his ticket book. He keeps telling me I’ll have to pay a fine. I keep repeating “Ya ne ponedelnik”. From the back seat I hear a booming voice. “Do you speak English? Are you an American?” The officer who stopped me is reading my license and says “He is from Montana.” I answer that I am an American. The voice asks me why do I drive a car if I don’t speak Russian. I said I can understand some of the letters and I have an English map to help me find my way. The officer in he back tells the guy who stopped me to give me back my documents. He then tells me to have a safe journey and as I am leaving he says to me “Ya ne ponedelnik too!”

Instead of going into the restaurant at that time, I speedwalk as fast as I can back to the car. I jump in the car and haul out of there as quickly as I can without attracting undue attention. JD thought that I was going to jail for sure. I wasn’t too certain at first that I wasn’t going to go to jail either. It was touch and go for a while there. I know I was right on the edge. The officer was pretty ticked off that I apparently didn’t immediately stop for him. So far Montana seems to be working well though.

We drive back to the other agency and the director still isn’t there. So we carefully return to the pizza restaurant and park in the back, away from the militia that is still there. We go in, I order a pizza and 2 chicken shaurmas for us. In the meantime we’ve lined up a late lunch date for JD from a nice prospective candidate. I’d set it up for him before but the lady backed out because of work. Now she is going to be free but she works about 20 miles out of town and will not be in Mari until later.

I start eating my pizza and JD gobbles down his shaurma. I haven’t eaten mine and he is still hungry. He asks if he can have some of mine. I say sure. He gets about half way through it when he notices hair on the meat. Not hair that fell from somebody’s head, but hair like fur. JD has a look on his face like he is going to barf. He shows me the hair and it is in fact hair that is attached to the skin of whatever meat it actually is. Last time I looked, chicken had feathers, not hair. Upon closer inspection it appears to look more like rat/mouse hair/fur. Tough to tell after it has been slow cooked on a roasting spit for a while. JD decides it would be best to leave immediately before he vomits everywhere. For once I am in total agreement with him.

Time again for another intermission. Part 8 will be coming up next. JD still has a few more dates on this trip. I have even more encounters with the militia but maybe in episode 9 or 10.

[jb]

OMG~!... This has to be one of the very best threads on the RWD,,, ever.

[BC]

OMG~!... This has to be one of the very best threads on the RWD,,, ever.

My belly is sore..

[Taz]

Glad I am bringing a little mirth and merriment to your otherwise boring lives.  I jest of course.

I am working the next episode and may have it done tomorrow sometime. Thanks for the praise. I hope I haven't really offended anyone as I've tried to keep from being to graphic. I am not one to kiss and tell anyway.

[tim 360]

Geezzz Taz,  Keep it coming.   You really should get an Oscar or some kinda award for this thread.  Your story is heads above most of the blather and BS and whining I've read here.  This is like a breath of fresh air. 

[Taz]

We jet out of the restaurant before I have to clean up yet another of JD’s messes though this time it would be physical more than mental. We have a bit of time to kill so JD wants to go fyk with the locals. Apparently he thinks this will be fun. I am not too keen on the idea but I drive him by the central market and we get out. After a few minutes he realizes it might be a bit too cold and he decides other fun might be more appropriate. Thankfully it is about time to meet Sveta for a late lunch. I drive him over to the arranged meeting place and we go in.

A few minutes later a very nice looking woman walks up. I point her out to JD and say that must be her. JD’s reply is she doesn’t look like her photos. I am so darn tired of hearing this crap and I want scream. Honestly she doesn’t look like her photos…she looks better, but dipwad is too blinded emotionally now to even assess something on a physical level properly. JD is totally in self-sabotage mode.

Sveta comes and I make a few lunch suggestions. I have something very light to eat and JD decides that if he eats, his rat flavored lunch might make a speedy exit…through his nose or other body parts. I am working as the translator for this meeting and more importantly as the official “keep this party moving” person.

I find a way to keep the conversation flowing when JD wants to talk about how he moved from this city to that city for school yet again. Doesn’t the dude EVER take my advice? Sveta is about as inspiring as JD when she launches into EOM (end of month) accounting BS. Come on ladies and gents, its not damn time to exchange resumes, it is time to see if you have an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. Without it, the rest is just icing on a non-existent cake.  Who cares if she has a doctorate in astrophysics? Are you marrying a woman or her diploma? If you don’t get along in person, it doesn’t matter how good they look on paper!!!

Personally I am the type of man who will under promise but over deliver. I downplay my strengths. If I say I can bowl a 300 game, I’ve likely done it several times. If I say I’ve was in the top 5% in the nation in my field, I was probably in the top 1% but I don’t want to brag.  I want to exceed the woman’s expectations; not simply meet them if you get my drift. I’ll reveal enough to get their intention but not a boastful, egocentric SOB. I am not looking to bed a bunch for RW. I personally want real love and a deeply committed relationship. I am not out to impress anyone. Be yourself and when you finally find the right woman for you (RW or otherwise) she hopefully won’t have any bad surprises from you later on. In other words don’t try to pretend to be someone you aren’t.

Let me digress here for a minute. I want to back up to Luba. You know, the woman I had an emotional connection with UNTIL JD and her friend decided to get a little too physical in the back seat of the car.

Luba came to the US on a K1 visa. She decided to return to Ukraine rather than live in a very inadequate situation. Her fiance substantial misrepresented his financial situation. While courting her, he took her to Odessa and they spent several days in a $500/night hotel. All the while he was putting it on his credit card. Basically he used credit repeatedly to finance his courtship of Luba.

When she came to the US, they were buried in debt. By the time he paid for the house, cars, other bills and the credit card debt, they had less than $250/month to spend on food for both of them and any other incidentals SHE MIGHT NEED! Do the math, she was expected to live and make sure they ate, on less than $8/day. She could only buy shampoo if it was on sale for about a $1.00. She lived for sales at Wal-Mart. She couldn’t even buy panties when she needed them. Friends she made would stop buy and take her shopping because her potential dipwad of a mate couldn’t provide for her at even a minimal level.

It took her a few months to realize the seriousness of their financial situation. After it became abundantly clear that things were going to improve, she reluctantly decided to return home. She wanted kids and there was no way that they would be able to afford them anytime in the near future. She had more money to spend when she lived in Ukraine so she did the smartest thing possible under the circumstances, return to Ukraine. None of the guy’s family wanted her to leave. Everyone apparently liked her but there was really no way they could survive under the current financial circumstances. He was going to have a hard time with all the other BCBS fees he was going to incur with her around. So don’t underestimate how much this is all going to cost you and don’t rack up a wad of credit card debt trying to impress your lady! Later she’ll be impressed all right but it will be with your stupidity!

By now you are probably thinking Taz has been around the potato patch a few times when it comes to the FSU. I’d say that would be an understatement. I am not going to claim I know all there is to know because I don’t. I can say that I was probably in Russia before most on this forum was except for the native Russians. My first trip to Russia was in 1975; at the height of the cold war. Back when St. Petersburg was name Leningrad.  I got to see parts of Russia that few native Russians were able to see at that time. It’s not like I am 60 years old either. I’ve been to probably every major city in Russia and Ukraine a lot of the minor ones. I’ve been all across Siberia and lived and worked in Moscow for a while. While my Russian isn’t perfect, I am almost never thought to be an American. Most people look at me with shock when they learn I am from the US. Normally I get the old “pri-baltika” routine when Russians guess where I am from.

I am not going to lie and tell you I have all the answers because I don’t. I have been through a lot of rough patches while be in the FSU and learned a lot of lessons in a manner other than how I’d prefer to have learned them. I have some truly wonderful times and made some great friends. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes too but normally not blind ones. I’ve been attacked by gypsies. I‘ve had to sleep outside in the cold in middle of winter in Ukraine. I’ve been locked out of my hotel in the middle of a Siberian winter and I could probably write a book with my own personal adventures. Of all the people I’ve met that has had a more “interesting” experience in the FSU would be the aforementioned Robert. He really is a character as I mentioned.

If between Robert and I, we couldn’t help JD, then there isn’t much that can be done. For JD to continue to ignore our advice, is just absurd. I could only have been so lucky as to have someone giving me the guidance that JD received from myself or later from Robert. It is almost as if JD had to go out of his way to somehow muck it up. So meanwhile JD is still trying to get to know Sveta at lunch. Blessedly his rat food has stayed down and I have been very kind in not reminding him about it. He finally seems to be pretty focused and the conversation is rolling pretty nicely.

I can see him checking out Sveta’s figure from across the table. I was sitting next to her and her body matched her personality; very nice. JD’s really starting to get involved in Sveta. Perhaps he is finally forgetting all the women of the past 2 weeks were he went down in flames. Meeting runs longer than Sveta planned but she didn’t seem to mind. A good time was had by all. If I was an evil SOB, I’d try and get even with JD and muck it up for him like he has done for me so many times but I can’t quite bring myself to do it. It is too much against my nature. So Sveta and JD part but agree to meet as soon as she can but it is the end of month and her work schedule is insane. Combine that with she lives 60 km away and works at least 30 km away and it is going to be difficult to score another meeting before we must leave.

We head back to the apartment. I am sort of torn about what to do. I try Luba again with no luck. JD has definitely skewered that relationship for me. I am feeling a little ticked off about it. I also forgot to mention what happened when I briefly stopped by agency #1 after JD bailed out of the car at the sports complex. JD apparently stopped by the agency and told them I dumped/abandoned him in the middle of nowhere. Yea, right, he is the one how got out of the car and never came back, didn’t call me nor leave a note of any kind. Apparently he bad mouthed me pretty badly. Lana called the agency later and told them what happened and that I was a perfect gentleman.

So for some reason this comes up in my mind and I decide to ask JD about it. I can see his temper flare. I will try and quote as best as I can what he said. “Taz, you fykin left me at the skating rink. I told you I didn’t fyking want to go there so why the fyk did you take me there? You were driving the fykin bus so you should fykin go where I tell you to go! I told that fykin b!atch (Lana) that I don’t fykin ice skate. I told her I fall on my ass more than I stand up. I just fykin told her that yesterday! I dated the girl who was the director of that complex.”

I am pretty stunned at this point. I replied “JD, what bus? We didn’t take a bus. How did I know what you told Lana? Remember, you didn’t want me helping out and you paid some translator? You could have come in and just set for a bit instead of being a petty @$$hole! So let me see if I get this straight, @$$hole. You are worried that some girl you aren’t really interested in (Lana) might meet some woman you already dated (director of ice rink) but who you have absolutely NO interest in ever meeting again? Is that correct?”

JD says “Don’t use your philosophical bull*snip* on me! I told you I didn’t fykin want to go in there so you fykin should have listened to me and taken me where I want!!!!”

I reply “So, JD, I am supposed to blow off Lana’s invitation because you have some wild hair up your @$$ about some woman you never care to see again. I should just immediately drop everything, leave the place because YOU wanted to and remove all doubt from her mind that you are the biggest douchebag to walk the face of the earth. Is that right?

JD’s reply “Yes! Leave the b!atch there if you have to.”

That did it for me. I replied “JD, maybe you want to treat people like sh!t if they aren’t important to you, or if you don’t need them at that moment but I live by a different set of values. Lana never did anything to you. She is a nice woman and like all nice woman who don’t do what you want, you find something wrong with them. Isn’t it about time you looked at yourself and realized the WOMEN aren’t the problem, YOU ARE!!!”

JD’s replied “Taz, enough of your philosophical bullsh!t. Leave me the fyk alone.”

My final reply was “Keep it up and EVERYONE will want to leave you alone!” and I walked away. That was pretty much it for me. I couldn’t deal with JD any more. At that moment, it was a turning point in our relationship. If he wasn’t being polite to a woman when I was around or he had a crappy attitude, I was going to let him know about it immediately in no uncertain terms.

Another intermission in the saga of JD and this concludes Part 9. In the next episode (Part 10)…Had JD worn out his welcome in any agencies? Does his reputation precede him?

[jb]

Taz, I truly hope you have sent JD down the road.  No one deserves to be shat upon as you have described here.

I too have had difficult friends, but none who tried my patience as JD has yours.

Get shut of the likes of JD

[Rod]

Why have you not taken him out back and taught him a few manners, man to ... well a poor excuse for one. This guy needs a good azz whoopin. Then he needs to get it whooped again.

[Taz]

Well it is now our last day in Mari. I get up and JD is in one hell of a bad mood. My evening was pretty good. I had a lot of stress with work deadlines and I’ve stayed up to about 4AM in the morning. I wake up about 9AM or so. I walk into the bathroom to get a shower and close the door to my bedroom since JD is smoking in the living room. JD immediately runs to open my door. He is all PO’d like I might be hiding something (what the darn girls I’ve met that somehow he has mucked up for me?). I tell JD to please close it as I don’t want the smoke in the room.

I don’t smoke and I am allergic to it as well. Not to mention the FSU almost killed me thanks to a deadly lung infection I contracted while there a few years ago. I am totally serious about this last point. I was within days of dying thanks to the FSU. Pulmonary specialist (lung doctor) told me I should “get my affairs in order” as it didn’t look good. So let’s just say I am very cautious when it comes to my lungs.

I am still in a pretty good mood though as I am an optimist by nature. JD is well, JD is JD. What can I say? He has worse mood swings than a woman with PMS. I am sure you know the type. JD at his core IS a good guy. For some reason the FSU just brings out the worst in him. Maybe more appropriately I should say stress brings out the worst in him and obviously Ukraine and Russia are stressful environments for him.

I ask JD what he wants to do today. He wants to go agency #1 again and follow up on another lead I found regarding another agency. Unbeknownst to JD, I followed up with a call to Sveta on his behalf (woman from the late lunch date). She says to call back later as she is with clients but she still seems interested but I don’t want to get his hopes up just yet. I also made a call to Lana to see how she is doing. She asks about JD (total bummer for me) and how he is doing. Then she quickly asks me what I am doing today (Yeah! Score one for the home team!). I told her I planned on going out with a beautiful young woman by the name of Lana! She said she had the same plan for me as well and she’ll call me after she finishes up the days remodeling work or I should call her no later than 2PM to confirm.

I tell her I’ll call at 2PM but I let’s just plan no matter what to do it. She asked me if I could find my way back to her place. I replied “Just keep thinking of me and I’ll find my way back based on your thoughts of me!” She laughed and said that was romantic but she could come into town to meet me if that doesn’t work. I proposed a different option as I didn’t want her to have to ride a bus for over an hour. I said how about I leave around 4PM. If I can’t find your place by 5PM, we can find a closer place to your apartment to meet. She likes the idea and we have a date setup and I am ready to do cartwheels.

So off JD and I go to agency #1. We arrive and the director is there. As has become her habit when she sees JD (I forgot to mention this point earlier) she says “Smile JD! SMILE!!!!” Apparently she has noticed his foul countenance as much as everyone else has.

As JD is browsing the Internet, a very nice looking woman comes in. She apparently submitted her application last week and is here to get photos done. She looks nice. I listen to the conversation and she is in the target age range of JD and has no trophies. You know what a trophy is, correct? This woman could be a good find for JD or many guys for that matter.

She has her photos done and she leaves. Even as jaded as JD is at the moment, he did actually notice this chick. I run down her details and remind him that his real love in Siberia had just arrived at the agency just before he did and it was just pure coincidence that he met her. Unbelievably, even in JD’s mucked up state of mind, this point is not actually lost on him and I can see the gear engaging in his brain. JD starts to talk to the owner about her. Everything seems to be coming together and he is showing signs of wanting to meet her.

I push him a bit to see how interested he is in her. I tell him to ask the owner to give her a call. He asks if she has met anyone yet. No she hasn’t. JD would be the first (and likely last) foreigner she would meet. He is undecided for a few seconds and at about the moment he decides to commit to wanting to meet her, the owners says “JD, you don’t really want to meet her” and disengages from the conversation. I quickly figured out what she was doing, she was protecting her “products” (her women) from being spoiled (not the good kind) by a meeting with JD. Word has pretty quickly gotten back to the owner that JD is not a man the women want to meet again.

Point in fact, I was in the office a day earlier, when the owner suggested that JD go out again with the woman who I found out later worked at the sports complex. Apparently she is a very nice girl who did seem to have further interest in JD. The owner suggested JD see the girl again. He said he wasn’t interested. She insisted and called the girl. I heard the conversation. Apparently after thinking about it, she had no desire to ever meet JD again or have any further contact with him.

I speak with the owner in Russian and apparently JD has gotten pretty negative feedback from almost every woman he has gone out with. She doesn’t think it would be a good idea for JD to meet any more women. She thinks he needs some time to sort things out. I think he needs more than that. I ask her about Zhenya, the one girl JD was really interested in but went out after his big dinner meeting and never came back.

It appears Zhenya did leave on purpose. She had a decent with JD and as Gomer Pyle, USMC would say, “Surprise, surprise!” JD actually didn’t screw it up… Dinner went well, she liked the flowers (as she should have since JD had LOTS of help) and things went pretty well. She pretty quickly realized though that things would never work with him so why delay the apparent inevitable? So she decided the best course of action was to leave rather than stick around and have a potential conflict erupt. I honestly think she should have been more upfront with it but maybe she already understood JD and realized it could be trouble. OTOH, she could have communicated it to her mom or someone else as everyone was kept in the dark concerning this.

Most everybody had a good time with JD as he was on his game. To this day though JD still complains about how he spent $200 on this date. For flowers, feeding 5 people at dinner and goodies after dinner, it wasn’t that terrible. You can spend that much at lunch easily in St. Petersburg or Moscow for 2 people without trying that hard!

So the owner of agency one basically asks JD to go so she can get back to business. I take JD and head to the other agency he wanted to go to. The director is back and JD looks through the profiles and not much is there. She suggests we go see a friend of hers who has a more established agency. I drive back across town to this agency. We are told to be there at 1PM. I realize I can’t stay too long as I need to get ready for my date with Lana and I am dang sure not going to miss this one nor say a single word to JD.

We’ll we have some time to eat lunch before going to the other agency. I suggest the pizza place again to JD just to see his reaction. He starts to turn visibly ill before my eyes before starting to get mad and launch of into a tirade. I am already driving to another place that we’ve eaten at before. They have a really cute waitress, Tanya, that really seems to like me. Once JD calms down I tell him we are going to the other restaurant that he likes. He says “Taz, you just want to go there because that waitress wants to fyk you and it is obvious!” I reply “JD, I am going there because you don’t want another helping of rat! I know you won’t complain for the next 3 days about this restaurant. Besides, you are the one who stared at her boobs all the time we were there. I bet you can’t even tell what color her eyes are but I know you could tell what cup size she is!”

So that shuts his pie hole for a bit. We arrive back at the restaurant. My “favorite” waitress is working. Tanya is sweet and very pretty but no way am I going to ask her out, especially with JD around. While I am interested in her, who wouldn’t be, it isn’t my nature to want to date 10,000 women. I just want one good woman and my focus is on Lana at the minute. I go off to the bathroom and try and call Sveta for JD. No answer so I SMS her. I get a reply back a bit later that she is just too busy at work and can’t meet.

Our lunch goes well and it is about time to leave. Tanya comes by with the bill and on a piece of paper she has written her name and telephone. She hands it to me discretely and walks away. JD asks what did she give me and I show him the bill. Heaven forbid that somebody else might find happiness on this trip if he didn’t! It is as though he wants everyone else to be as miserable as he is right now. I’ve talked to Robert a few times since he left Mari and we both have the same opinion about JD; he is his own worst enemy. Even JD has talked to Robert a few times. Robert tried to give him a pep talk too. JD seems to understand what he is being told to him but later he either dismisses it or forgets it. I am really quite sure. I saw him nodding his head while talking to Robert and based on his answers to Robert, it seemed like he was being told the same things I told him as well.

I pay the bill and off we go to the last agency. It is a wee bit difficult to find as is often the case with addresses in the FSU. Buildings are often missing numbers, entrances may not have numbers or they might have forgotten to give you the corpus number. I won’t go into it now but that last one really was a nightmare for me. Finally we find it and go in. The women here know their “products” pretty well. I tell them that JD is looking for a docile, subservient, robot that likes sex 23x7. The woman asks me why not 24 hours a day. I say JD needs to eat sometime and she laughs. About 10 seconds later she laughs again. JD asks me what is so funny. I tell him to just calm down.

Now that the ice has been broken, we can start looking through profiles. They have a pretty good list of women that JD hasn’t seen and hopefully none of them have seen or heard of JD. The woman goes quickly to the profiles of woman that meet JD’s criteria. She points out quite a few and amazingly, there are many JD likes. This goes on for quite a while. It is not about 2PM and time to call Lana. JD is engrossed in his porn so I go away to call Lana so that JD can’t hear her name or voice.

I get Lana on the phone and it is obvious she is glad to hear me. I am glad to hear that she is glad to hear me. She then hears in my voice that I am glad to hear that she is glad to hear me and she becomes even MORE glad to hear me. After a few seconds of all this “gladness” we get down to the point at hand; our date. She is working very hard to get her remodeling done before she goes back to work on Monday. She has worked extra hard to get enough free time to meet me without disrupting her schedule. I am impressed. This chick really wants to go out with me again about as much as I want to go out with her. Things are looking pretty good and my first impression on her must have been very good.

We confirm that I will call back at 4PM. Everything seems in order. I head back to the agency office. I am pretty excited but I try to contain my glee. It still isn’t too late for JD to somehow screw things up. JD has picked out a few profiles and is still looking at more. Finally we get out of there after 3PM. The director says she’ll call JD if she can line up anything for this evening. I don’t think there is much chance of them being able to line something up but you never know.

Intermission time again. In the next episodes will JD muck up Taz’s date with Lana? Will he get another date before he leaves Ukraine? Does Taz have another encounter with the militia? Would somebody be stupid enough to make a personal introduction of a woman they know to JD? All this and more coming up in Part 11 or later. Its not over 'til its over and is it then REALLY over?

[ISORW]

Taz, going on your previous post wherein you said that JD is once again looking to the FSU, and a comment in your most recent episode (your episodes are like TV cliffhanger episodes...except more fun than most of the garbage I see on TV nowadays) that JD's worst comes out when he is under stress, I personally don't think a RW/UW is for him.  Although I think RW/UW are great, I think you know, as do most of the posters on this board, that bringing a RW/UW to this country, acclimating them for the first 2 years, despite the rewards and good times, can be very stressful for someone who cannot act with maturity, patience, and a great sense of humor for those times when everything just seems to go to sh*t.  I seriously question JD's ability to cope/deal with those pressures even on his home turf if he should be so lucky to find a good RW - after all he mucked it all up with a patient, kind, understanding girl (Gaia) once before without breaking a sweat.  Myself, I think you'd do all the RW/UW and the sincere, good men heading over to the FSU a great favor if you did not encourage or aid him in ruining it for more guys and gals over there.  Just my .02 and I realize you are trying to help out a friend...

[chernoble]

You know I never would have guessed I would be such a good judge of human nature but ISORW is exactly right.  I originally thought the worst of JD from the few stories you wrote in the beginning Taz and it pains me not because it turns out JD is below even the rat scum that my gut feeling told me he is but because he committed mass murder on so many innocent and undeserving human beings and poisoned future relationships in the minds of countless RW/UW who have had their first or lengthy experiences with this particular turd that got sh!tted out of America.  Its going to color their perception of future foreign guys and its also going to affect their friends and families perception and the word will get around and a whole lot of people will see Western men in this sh!tty light.  In short this toxic waste is harming the prospects of other western guys just by his very presence there!  He is too radioactive with his effects.

You know if JD is still hanging around I got an idea for you.  Why don't you take him to Grozny (since that is part of Russia now you can sell it to him as another Russian hunting trip) and "introduce" him to the locals there and then step out of town for a while and have fun in a safer location and see if JD (or whats left of him) makes the news on CNN.  I'm sure he can learn all sorts of new things from his stay there that may do wonders to change his attitude 

[Taz]

I have tried to present JD's saga here, not to character assinate him, but to help others learn from his mistakes. I have worked very hard to try and undo any damage he might have done. I can assure you that likely nobody wanted him to give up more than me except possibly some of the RW he has met.

OTOH, there have been some RW that have been as difficult as he is if not more so. I haven't really focused on this too much as of yet. I have some equally interesting tales to relate about women that would be very cautionary in their nature as well. I am not out there every day encouraging JD to go back. Quite honestly I am pretty much taking the opposite tact. I know he is less likely to travel by himself than if he has the opportunity to go with me.

As a result I personally am considering going back in the next few months when it is cold. I am pretty adaptable to changing weather conditions. I don't really want to ruin the "ending" of the saga so I won't go into my personal status at this moment. One forum member does have an idea of what my current status. Anyway I am working on the next episode.

I'd say don't be too hard on JD but often we all do bonehead things. I would hope that all of you would carefully look at how you treat each other in general. I think we can all learn from JD. I know it has made me become a better person. In general I ALWAYS tried to be a good ambassador. That is why I tried to make that point very obvious. RW, even when in Russia, are ambassadors for their country as well. Believe me, I have some less than fond memories of quite a few Russians as well. I've seen them scam a young, naive girl out of several hundred dollars. There are some very ruthless people in Russia and it is definitely more of dog eat dog existence for the average person and don't let them tell you otherwise.

[Faux Pas]

Taz

Many of us reading this thread are not judging JD or yourself in anyway, but learning from your experience and appreciate  you taking the time to put it in print for us to absorb. Keep it up please and lets us see this end.

[chernoble]

Taz I appreciate you putting down the story for the details that gave a lot of insight into Russian culture and everyday life.  I know we are not perfect and everyone makes mistakes but its our ability to learn from them and not repeat those mistakes that show the best of us as human beings.  Plus the infinitely numerous "mistakes" JD made is not exactly something that is difficult to avoid or see coming.  I mean we are talking basic common sense and politeness that people all over the world should know about not just Russia and USA.  I have never met anyone in my life who is this insensitive and arrogant though I did see a few movies with very retarded individuals who try to amuse the audience with their stupidity.  But at least those movies were funny this is getting sad.  Like I said why not introduce JD to the local Chechens?  I'm sure it would be pretty entertaining to see their reaction to JD's charm.

There are some very ruthless people in Russia and it is definitely more of dog eat dog existence for the average person

I think those people are called Russian Mafia 

[Voyageur]

Although I think RW/UW are great, I think you know, as do most of the posters on this board, that bringing a RW/UW to this country, acclimating them for the first 2 years, despite the rewards and good times, can be very stressful for someone who cannot act with maturity, patience, and a great sense of humor for those times when everything just seems to go to sh*t.

Truer words have never been spoken. Taz, your JD is a real piece of work, he gives the rest of us a bad reputation. I am curious as to why you would stick it out with  JD that long - I don't know if I could deal with this kind of behavior with even my oldest friends.  I am reminded that there are two sides to each story, but it is hard to see any redeeming value in staying with someone like this.

[Taz]

Let me try and put this in perspective for some of you. For the last several years, I have NOT encouraged JD to go to the FSU. I reaize that he will go whether or not I go. He has made a few trips on his own. Ultimately it is better if I am around when he goes. At least then I can try and correct his wrongs, give him advice and keep him out of major trouble. It is an incredibly thankless job and one I have pretty much given up on.

So when he just told me a few days that he wanted to maybe go back to the FSU, I was in shock. He seemed so set in never, ever going back to the FSU that I actually believed him. I just spoke with him last night and he seemed interested in going to Belarus or some other satellite FSU country. I wished him good luck and that I was really interested in going someplace like that.

The saddest thing from my perspective is JD often doesn't realize how he is reacting. So often I wished I had a video camera so I could show him what he looked like when he wasn't in the heat of the moment. When he is relaxed, I can reason with him easier and help him understand where he screwed up. Quite honestly it is very easy to be a Monday morning quarterback and discuss how we would have done things differently. I am not excusing his actions but I do understand them and I have seen how stressful some of the situations were for him. I have also seen how he has a knack at times to make bad situation worse.

I personally don't want to be involved any more directly in JD's pursuit of RW. It is too draining for me emotionally and lately it has really impacted my potential happiness.

Anyway I'll likely be posting the next epsisode later tonight if I have time.

[Taz]

It is getting close to 4PM now and we still aren’t back to the apartment thanks to JD running really long at the agency. I need to get ready and leave for my date with Lana. JD wants to chit chat for some reason and I don’t really understand why. He then starts to complain how he has nothing to do tonight. Later he would complain that I just dumped him this evening with nothing to do.

I in a bit of time crunch and I need to get ready. I still don’t have flowers yet. I need a shower. I can’t find the appropriate clothes and I really don’t want to rush getting ready for the date. I want this date to be perfect; then again I put the same effort into all my dates. I want to present myself the best I can; every time! JD is in the living room complaining again that he has nothing to do. He wants to know who I am going out with. I tell him it is a woman I met earlier (I hate to lie so I don’t).

It is now 4PM and I still am not ready. I just got out of the shower and I call Lana as I promised. She asks me if I have left yet. I ask why. She says she is already ready for our date and waiting for me. I can’t believe my both my good luck and bad luck. It is a good sign that she is eager for our date and is already prepared. I silently curse JD under my breath though as the clock has already started ticking on our date and I am still not there. I absolutely must get flowers; there is no choice but to get them. This is a “real” date in both her eyes and mine and I better present myself appropriately. I need to show her I am definitely interested in her and start to woo her.

I put my clothes on as quickly as I can do it orderly. I apply some distinctive cologne (but not too strong) as I want to have a “signature scent” that she will associate ONLY with me if possible. I have found a few colognes that women seem to really like but are not so common as to find many men wearing them. I want to tingle all her senses when we are on a date. Women tend to me more auditory and kinesthetic than men so I plan to emphasize those aspects of our date.

I dash down the 6 flight of stairs to the car. Good ol’ JD found an apartment on the 6th floor without a lift. It really sucked hauling my gear up the steps but now it is a PITA as it takes a lot of time just to get down them. By the time I get to the car and ready to roll, it is almost 4:30 and already it is totally dark outside. This will definitely not be easy to find Lana’s apartment in the dark. I also need to be careful of not keeping her out too late even though it might be tempting. She has already worked a long day remodeling her apartment and I don’t want her really tired when I take her home.

So finally I am off, flying across town to the other side of the world where she lives. By flying, I mean literally flying as in the car is airborne. The roads are so crappy here that even at a moderate pace, you car often gets airborne over some of the tram crossings, potholes, bumps, road repairs, etc. I am only doing about 60 km/h but that is plenty fast enough to get air. I need a MX or cross-country motorcycle more than a car at the moment. Most of all I need a GPS that can route me to her darn address in the dark.

I am making pretty good time but I need to find a flower shop. I see one but it is on the other side of a 4 lane road. Failure is not an option so somehow I find a way through the oncoming traffic in a quasi-legal manner to get to the flower shop. Unfortunately there are NO parking places. I see a this pretty big curb in front of the shop, right next to the bus stop. I think about the height of the bumper on the Hyundai and think it is time to go off-roading with the car. I figure if I shift my weight back just a bit and gas it, I can loft the front wheels over the curb just like a MX motorcycle. Oh wait, that will never work with a front wheel drive car and almost any car for that matter. I was just kidding to see if you were paying attention.

Instead I nose the car up to the curb, it seems like it won’t touch the bumper. I bump the curb with the wheels to test it. Rock it again against the curb, dump the clutch a bit and I bunny hop the car up on the curb. The rear wheels follow much easier but I almost high center the car with the chassis grinding a bit in the middle. I am now driving down the sidewalk like all good Russians drivers learn to do. I go down the sidewalk and find a good place to park by the front door of the flower shop. Good thing I can understand some Ukrainian as the word flowers is written in Ukrainian and not Russian and the word is enough different you might not at first make the connection.

I run into the store and surprise the heck out of the hot flower babe working there. I explain to her I have a very special date and I want to get lucky. She just laughs and says don’t all men but she has just the type of flowers I need. I joke and say I am not looking for sex; I just want to be the lucky man who this woman will want to see again. She takes me into an amazing display of roses of every shade imaginable. I go for a triple trifecta. This is my personal term. It describes a type of rose arrangement where I pick 3 unique trios of similar roses. I don’t want to be overly romantic as that might be misinterpreted as being insincere or trying to hard to get into her pants if you know what I mean. I do want to show enough interest that it sends a signal that I am interested in more than a platonic relationship but I am not trying to separate her from her knickers on the first date either.

I finally decide on exactly what flowers I want. I explain in detail to the flower babe the effect I am going for. She just nods her head, smiles and says “klassna”. She then finds the appropriate decorative foliage to complete my motif. She tells me the price, which is quite reasonable. I pay it and give her a nice tip to boot. I run back out to the car and hop in.

Unfortunately the bus stop that I was sort of my entry point to the curb is now crowded with people. I can’t really use it as easily to get back on the street. I drive a bit down the sidewalk where there are less people. Downside is the curb is much higher and I don’t think the Hyundai has enough suspension travel to make the jump safely. I look at my watch and realize I need to go. I need to get to her apartment pretty soon.

I decide to make a run for it and hope my trajectory will be flat enough the car won’t nose dive and scrape the bumper. I nail it in first gear and get it about wound out in first just as I sail off the curb. Just so happens I leap off the curb in front of a car with a militia officer at the wheel. The only way I found this out of course is when he flipped on the takedown lights. I’ve never seen them on in Ukraine and I pretty much just assumed they were for decoration and to slow the top speed of the car down. As luck would have it, I find out there aren’t for decoration or impressing the local ladies in this instance.

By now you know the drill and so do I. Officer comes up. I am totally ignorant of Russian. He speaks no English. He gestures that I was flying with the car. He waves his arms like a bird flying and shows the trajectory of the car as it crashes back to the ground. I think of something really quick. I pull out my pilot’s license and show him I am a licensed pilot and I can legally fly. He starts laughing really hard as he apparently can read English ok even if he can’t speak it or understand it spoken. He wishes me a safe journey and never mentions Montana but he does hand back all my documents. I crank a quick u-turn and generally feel like I am going the right direction to find Lana’s apartment.

About then Lana calls me and asks me if everything is going ok. I tell her she wouldn’t believe me right now if I told her what just happened but someday she just might. She asks me what I mean by this. I said I’ll explain later but for the moment just keep thinking about me for the next twenty minutes or so while I try to find her apartment. She laughs as she remembers our earlier conversation. She says she can come meet me if I want. I tell her not to. If it is fate, we will find each other. She says “Taz, you are a romantic!” All I can say “Da! Eta Pravda.” (Yes, it’s the truth).

About ten minutes later I was setting outside her apartment. I called up to her and said I am buy some store with a foreign name. I say the name in the foreign language (how it should truly be pronounced). She can’t figure out exactly what I mean. I finally say I am at the corner of your building. She can’t believe that I found her place after only one trip to it and that was in the dark. Here it was dark again and I found my way back. She begins to think that perhaps the mental mind trick did work after all. She comes down and is truly surprised to see me. I point to the little store and say the name. She then understands what I was trying to say and says the Russian version. No way in hell I would have gotten that one quickly. Take every vowel and turn it upside down. The vowels and accent was all messed up from the original word.

She asks me what our plans are. I tell her my plan is to make her feel like a princess tonight. She just laughs and says seriously what are our plans. I repeat again, you’ll be my princess tonight and I’ll be your prince. She smiles and says ok and off we go. I drive back into town to a very nice restaurant. Not super expensive but great food and atmosphere. I’ve kept the roses hidden from her. As I park the car, I jump out quickly so I can open her door. As she is getting out, I get the roses from the back seat but keep them hidden.

As I open the door to the restaurant, I surprise her with the flowers. Her reaction is priceless. This was a home run when the bases are loaded. She just looks at me with a smile that would melt any man’s heart. I have just pushed her “happy button” and it shows. Note to readers. ALL women have a happy button. It is up to you to find it and figure out how to use it. She takes the roses from my hand and kisses me on the cheek. She lingers there just a second longer than a quick peck. She is obviously checking out my cologne.

She walks up to the coat check and I help her off with her jacket. Make sure you do this too. We then walk up to the main entrance to the restaurant and as we go in her face is beaming like you wouldn’t believe. We are shown to our table and our waitress offers to get a vase for the flowers. It is quite obvious Lana is proud of the flowers she just received. The waitress comes back with a vase and water and comments they are VERY beautiful and were obviously chosen with car. Lana replies  affirmatively. She has already checked out the type of roses, colors, arrangements. She has filed away every detail; I can sense it. I can also see the emotions play across her face as she looks at each trio of roses.

As a gentleman, I make suggestions from the menu. She is very impressed that not only do I speak Russian, but I can read the menus with equal deft and I even seem to know how the items are prepared from their somewhat cryptic names. Very quickly she forgets that I am a foreigner and allows me to do everything based on her replies to what she likes. Our food arrives and she is really enjoying our meal. Our conversation flows very well. She is really into me and I am feeling pretty attracted to her. It is an even better date than with Luba. Things are just amazing at this moment. I don’t want it to ever end. I look into her eyes and I just get lost in them.

Time for another intermission. In part 12 is it Taz and Lana kissing by the scenic steel mill, “Wham, bam, thank you mam!” or possiblyTaz regales her with tales of his life being saved thanks to Putin or possibly all 3? Or can a date go really this well without something coming along to muck it up like the militia or more likely JD. If you are still waiting for more JD content, don't worry. His trip isn't over yet either though we only have about two days left.

[Alyona]

Taz, NEVER repeat NEVER mention Moldova to JD.

Tell him it is closed, or has moved to another part of the globe.

If for some reason he decides he wants to go, take him to Tiraspol.

Alyona 

[Taz]

Moldova is one of the places he did mention just yesterday. He said he likes their wine!  Maybe he will their women AND their wine

I think no matter where he goes it won't matter the result will be the same until he changes his attitude. I want him to find happiness but not at the expense of others. Regardless I am plan to not be involved in his next meetings if I can possibly help it. If he goes when I am not around, nobody will there to maybe help the women either. I don't want to be there because it is to intense for me emotionally. Either way it isn't a good outcome.

[Taz]

Well so far dinner couldn’t have gone better if I had written a script for it. Lana is definitely enjoying our date, quite possibly even more than me. We’ve covered quite a few topics and seem to have very complimentary opinions on a wide variety of topics. She still is shocked that I was able to find her apartment…in the dark. I playfully tell her I am very talented…in the dark. She just smiles and laughs. She seems very open to me based on her body language.

We had held hands while skating and I want to reinforce the sensation of touch. I reach across the table to hold her hand.  I don’t want to be too forward or rush a feeling so I gently rest my fingers on top of hers and look for her reaction. It seems to be positive so after a few seconds I hold her hand totally in mine. It is pretty obvious to both of us that there is a good connection. She is a pretty girl that would turn most men’s heads but to me that doesn’t matter. I am not interested in a trophy, just a good woman! Whether she is attractive to anyone else but me doesn’t matter.

She is a conservative girl and I am not the type of guy to push anything. I have found that often when you push something, you may momentarily get improved progress but it typically hurts the long-term relationship or slows it down. While RW are looking for love, it doesn’t mean they are just hop into bed with you immediately. Quite honestly, I am not looking for sex. If you want sex it is easy to find but don’t be a JD and ruin it for everyone else. In his defense I know he was always sincere in trying to find a woman and wasn’t looking for just sex.

Anyway we have finished our meal and it has been wonderful. Lana really liked the meal I chose for her. Before we leave, I take the flowers from the vase and present them to her once again. Her face lights up as brightly as the first time. Flowers definitely push her happy button. I am sure there are other things that will do that as well but it is good to know one early on in the relationship. I think what truly pushes her happy button is the mark of an attentive man.

We walk out to the car and I open the door for her. She beams at me again. So far I can’t say I’ve made any missteps with Lana to this point. Things are going very well and I am feeling pretty relaxed. I ask Lana what she feels like doing. She says she doesn’t care but the night is still young. I ask her how energetic she is feeling as I want to be respectful of the fact that she has worked on her apartment all day. She says she is feeling good. I ask her if she wants to go for a stroll.

At first she looks at me like I have two heads. Think about it for a second though, it is winter and I ask her if she wants to go for a stroll. On first glance it would seem to be sort of a crazy idea but crazy is sometimes good. I can’t go back to the apartment as JD is there. I know he will be in a sour mood and that IS an understatement.  I can’t suggest going back to her place as her mom is home. Not yet quite the right time to meet mom. She doesn’t smoke and neither do I and bars are typically very smoky and restaurants too. I specifically picked a restaurant that had a no smoking section. She noticed it too. She didn’t say anything about it directly but she did notice it. I even made sure that I had the clothes that I planned to wear hanging outside for a bit at the apartment so they wouldn’t smell like smoke because of JD.

So after a brief moment, her initial impression that I am a hydra fades. She giggles like a school girl and accepts my offer. She says it might be cold. I promise to keep her warm and she smiles and giggles again. Next question is where to go. I suggest that we go for a walk along the beach. I get another momentary “you are crazy” looks but just as quickly it too fades and she says she knows where to go. I tell her to lead the way.

So we drive back to the other side of the world again. We wander back and for along these back roads to we come to what sort of looks like a cliff. On the top of this hill is a restaurant or cafe. Like almost everywhere, parking appears to be an issue. We can park WAYYYYYY down the road or do like all the other locals and jump the curb. Of course you know the choice I took. It’s my last day and I don’t want any trouble with the militia so I park about a half mile down the road and make my date walk in the cold wind back to the cafe. No if you believe that, you have absolutely no insight to my personal character!

Of course I do the obvious thing and jump the curb. I get a momentary you are crazy look again and a gleeful laugh. I pull up by all the other novii ruskis (Ukrainians too) and park the car but not before pulling up really close to the edge of the cliff. As I get near the cliff, I see there is actually a very steep set of stairs. We are actually on a pretty high bluff with about a 100 meter drop to the sea below. I keep inching forward until Lana gets really nervous and asks me to stop. I put the car reverse but the car moves forward just a bit more before we go backwards. Lana shrieks and grabs my hand. We are so close to the edge now that you can’t see any ground in front of the car; just air and the ocean off in the distance. In reality though we have at least a meter before it would be an issue but Lana doesn’t realize that. I back up but she doesn’t let go of my hand. She just keeps hers on mine. It is nice and I don’t want to break the spell.

We sit there for a few minutes and finally decide to get out of the car. Again I get her door and we start walking. When we reach the edge of the steps again I offer her hand and we make our way down. It is literally several hundred steps down and then we are walking along a path to the beach. There is a little moonshine (not the kind you drink) but not enough to see. As we walk along I can tell she is a little cold. Like so many RW, she has dressed fashionably rather than functionally. She has a pretty nice warm jacket but doesn’t have a hat. Her jacket is very nice with a wide fur collar but no way of bringing it up by her ears to keep them warm. I take my scarf off. I lift her collar up around her ears and pull my scarf around the back of her head. I pull her closer to me as I start to tie it. I am very close to her face and the moment is perfect for a kiss.

I start to move in like I am going to kiss her. She tilts her head toward me to make it easier to kiss her. She is obviously receptive and I really want to kiss and she definitely wants it too. Instead I just give her an Eskimo kiss by nuzzling her nose. She giggles and “kisses” me back. I have totally caught her off-guard on this. I didn’t do what she expected and while she was disappointed, she also like the unpredictability of it too. All I did was delay the inevitable and make her want it even more.

We finally make it to the beach. Not to far in the distance I can see one of the big steel mills. It could totally ruin the view so I make sure we turn away from it. The ocean is pretty calm. The beach is inviting. If you just looked at the sea, you would think it was summer time. I tell her we should take off our shoes and run through the water. She knows I am joking but she invites me to do it first. I start to take off my shoes and she stops me. We continue walking hand in hand. If anyone every told me that walking by a steel mill could be romantic, I’d have called them crazy but here I was walking by a steel mill having one of the most romantic nights of my life.

We walk a ways down the beach. Even though it isn’t getting colder, we are walking closer and closer. After about a kilometer or two, we stop by a little restaurant. We just walk up and take a few photos of each other. She asks to see our photos and after she sees how she looks with the scarf round her collar asks, me to delete them and take new ones. I tell her she looks fine but I’ll take new ones. We then proceed back along a road rather than walk through all the sand. The winds are fairly strong and the road has a few trees alongside it to break the wind.

On the way back, I get a call from whom? JD of course. I don’t answer it of course. If it is really important he call back. Of course he calls back again in 5 minutes. I ignore it again as if it is REALLY important he will try again. Two minutes later he calls again. This guy could ruin a wet dream at times! Lana can tell I am a bit agitated and she assumes correctly that it is JD. She tells me I should answer it or call him back. I said I don’t want him to affect our evening. She said go ahead. I decline as I don’t want anything affecting this evening and I tell her so. This is obviously the answer she wants to here. She just smiles, squeezes my hand and I pull her close. This is the time to do the deed. Just then a car starts down the road where we are standing and we have to move. I pull her closer and can smell her wonderful scent. She nuzzles her head into my neck. I can feel her warm breath on my neck and it feels wonderful. I gently graze her lips with my neck. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination as I am not one to kiss and tell. I’ll just say that any expectations she or I had were easily exceeded.

We finally make it back to the steps and the long climb back up. We talk for a few minutes and inquires about how many times I’ve been to Russia or Ukraine. She wants to know what was my most memorable trip. I ask by memorable, do you “most memorable” or “best”. This has intrigued her as she assumed that most memorable would likely be best. So she asks me to then to elaborate on both themes.

I explain to her that I’ll start with most memorable. The short version of that one is I was in Sochi. I was in a terrible situation there and had a good chance of dying. Thanks to Putin being there, things got done that kept me from dying.  This is a story for another day but a 100% true story. If Putin had not been there, I wouldn’t be writing this now or 98% likely I would have died there. So after recounting this tale of woe, I definitely have Lana’s sympathy. I described in great detail and as I told her, she kept snuggling up to me.

As I finished the Putin story, she asked me what my best trip was. Without hesitation; I said this one. She smiled very brightly and just melted into me. It was not a lie and she knew it. All of you now know what had transpired up until this moment with JD. In spite of all that, these last few dates in Mari had totally made up for all the junk I put up with JD earlier. We just stood there like two penguins in the cold. Huddled up but not to stay warm but to share the wonderful feelings we had at that moment. Finally we had to break the embrace. It was time to take Lana home and I had to pack. I also had a lot of work to do for my job. I had some major reports to finish up and they had to be done before midnight in New York.

JD and I had a long drive back to Kiev and I wanted to stop by and see Fatty in Zap on the way home.

So reluctantly we climbed back up the steps. This time our steps weren’t quite so lively. Not because we were tired, far from it, but because we knew soon that we must part. I knew there would be no time to see her in the morning before I left. Finally we made it back up. A few more cars have arrived at the cafe and I can’t leave via the path I used to come in. Oh well, time for the flying Hyundai trick. I launch off the curb like I do it all the time. Hyundai flies beautifully and we drive off without any militia intervention this time.

I drive her back to her apartment. We just set outside until I finally suggested we hop in the back seat and have a go. Nah, just kidding! You still don’t believe me that I don’t kiss and tell. What happens in the back seat stays in the backseat. Perhaps I should say “Do you know Las Vegas?” The Americans will get this joke but the rest of you will think I am an idiot.

Finally we part and I drive back to the apartment. It is pretty late and I have to get my work done. I use my phone to connect to the internet. I can’t reach the main server I need. I finally get to it but it is too slow to be usable. I call up Robert and ask his advice. He suggests another provider but I’ve already thought of that and all phone kiosks are closed. He asks how my date went. I give a quick rundown. He asks about JD and as soon as he does that JD stops snoring. Comes into my bedroom and asks me why the fyk am I talking about him. I never have seen him wake up so fast. He then asks me to give him the phone as he wants to talk to Robert. I tell him to talk to him on his own phone as mine is connected to my laptop.

I continue on with my work and realize this isn’t going to work very well. I call Robert back and ask for suggestion on Internet cafes in Mari. He looks up on the Internet and gives me a few addressed to try. I wander around the city trying to find them. I finally find one of them but their Internet is so busy (Saturday night) that I have to ask for a spot and it won’t be available for at least two hours. I really need a faster connection but I can’t wait that long. It is a pretty active spot though with a lot of action going on. Some very nice looking women dancing and generally a great watering hole from what I can tell.

Defected, I head back to the apartment. I am dead tired and running out of time. This could be a career limiting moment if I can’t get these reports sent and some other proposal items finished. I give it another go and same result; too slow to be useful. I have an idea. I’ll go to my own personal server and remote control it to finish off my business. It isn’t a great solution as there is some latency (time lag) but it works well enough. Just before 7AM local time (almost midnight New York) I finish up my work. I met my deadline but I need to get some sleep before we leave.

I am finally sleeping and JD gets up and starts making a ton of noise. He is on the phone talking loudly and I can’t sleep. I ask him to please be a bit more quiet but he is in a bad mood. He is pretty PO’d that I didn’t answer the phone. It goes downhill from there. He gets on the phone and starts yelling at the agency owner that she is fyked up and trying to rip him off and on and on about some other stuff that I can’t quite make out. I am just too darn tired and I don’t want to deal with him. He is killing my post Lana date euphoria. I was hoping I could enjoy that intoxicating moment a bit longer but it is not too be.
Time for another intermission. 

In Part 13 it could be very interesting. Does JD have time to squeeze in another date? How many people can he piss of in a restaurant? Will Taz have any more encounters with militia? Choose a number; 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. One of them is correct. What are the odds that JD can still muck things up for Taz with Lana? All this and more in the next episode. 

[Taz]

Sorry no updates lately. I've been traveling a lot and haven't had time to post the latest. I am in the final edit phase of it. With any luck it should be up tomorrow. I have another one written but I haven't had a chance to edit it yet.

[Taz]

JD is chomping at the bit to go and get the heck out of Mari. After his argument he is pretty wound up. I am tired as heck as I’ve had almost no sleep and we have a long drive back to Kiev. I definitely want to see how Fatty is doing in Zap on the way back.

There is another reason to stop there too. His wife has several friends that aren’t married and might be interested in meeting a foreigner. Fatty REALLY want us to stop by so he can make the introduction to one of his wife’s friends. I am somewhat interested but not as interested as I might have been a few days ago. I have a pretty good connection with Lana and I am pretty focused on her.

My instincts tell me that I need to keep my eye on the ball with this one. She appears to be a keeper and no red flags so far. She is just strong enough to not be “needy” but still compliant. I am used to making the most of the decisions in a relationship. I am the leader but that doesn’t mean I am a dictator or anything like that. I have a strong character and most women appreciate that. I am also very attentive and caring and almost all RW truly appreciate that. I simply don’t want to find that rare RW that just loves conflict as we would likely butt heads often and I don’t need that.

Lana appears to be willing to follow my lead but stand her ground where she has strong feelings. I appreciate that. I could tell on a few issues she wasn’t willing to compromise. Aside from those few areas she was very compliant. Basically it came down to trust and that is why she was generally compliant. Don’t confuse that with docile. She felt comfortable around me and trusted that I would make bad decisions. Like most RW though I imagine that once she loses respect for you, the relationship is basically over.

Before we parted I told her I wanted to be able to continue corresponding with her after I left. She said I could write through the agency as she had no email. I said that might not be the best option for us. She asked why. I said it wasn’t very close for her to go there (over an hour one way). She just smiled and I could tell I scored big points with here. She thought I might start to complain about the cost but instead I was concerned about her comfort. I had put her as a priority of cost and she knew it.

I also said, not only isn’t convenient, but I don’t really want other people reading our correspondence. She really hadn’t thought about that too much until that moment. I said I would be uncomfortably expressing my deepest feelings know someone else might be reading them other than the person I cared about and intended to read them. I added that is sort of like someone listening to our date or phone conversations.

I asked her if she would feel comfortable with that. She replied that before she wouldn’t have been that concerned about it but the way I framed the debate she definitely wouldn’t feel as comfortable expressing herself. So I said we would always be holding something back from each other. She said that wouldn’t be a good way to build a relationship. I of course agreed with her. I offered her (very respectfully) to give her some money for Internet. She refused very quickly (as I knew she would). She said she would pay for it herself and thanked me for the offer but she was a woman and could take care of it.
 
I greatly respected her stance but I knew it wasn’t the best one for the building our relationship. I didn’t want her economic resources to dictate the frequency of our correspondence. Internet isn’t cheap there and I knew she had no home computer. She had no Internet at work either. I know she wasn’t aware of how expensive it could be for her to correspond with me. So before I left, I offered her money to pay for correspondence. I did it in a really respectful manner as always. I didn’t want to insult her pride and it was obvious to me she was a proud woman.

Like the first time she declined my offer again. I gently tried to reason with her but I didn’t want to push too hard. I learned a long time ago, when a RW has a firm stance on something, pushing will only make her more obstinate and less likely to compromise on that issue. I also learned that you might have to ask twice to find out how firm her position is. I pretty much had Lana pegged correctly in that she would take the money. I knew that after our ice skating time.

I was prepared though. I had a backup plan. I told her that I respected her feelings even if I didn’t agree with her on this point. She smiled and said she hoped I understand. I said “Of course Lanochka. I understand perfectly. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by taking money from me. I have another idea though. I know that your mobile phone isn’t inexpensive to use. I would like to call you when I return home. We could also send SMS messages and I know those aren’t free for you to send (but they were for her to receive).” At this moment I pull a JD. I start to reach into my pants and whip out my big fat phone card and hand it to her.

Typically in the FSU, you can tell the mobile phone provider by the prefix of the phone if it is a national number. I new by her prefix that she used Beeline. I had stopped by a phone kiosk and bought a big fat phone card to recharge her phone. That way our communication wouldn’t be a burden on her. It would also allow her to keep in contact easier with friends and family is she decided not to use it mostly towards our communication. I personally didn’t car. I just wanted to give her an opportunity to communicate easier with me at minimum and help her out at the same time.

The reaction to me giving her the phone card was priceless. I wish I had my camera right then. It was very obvious she was an intelligent woman at that moment. Her reaction was a mixture of surprise, appreciation, happiness, and feeling that she had been had. In fact she had been had and she knew it. Smart woman that one. At that moment she knew that I knew she wouldn’t take my offer of money long before she ever said no. She then quickly figured out that I was attentive enough (and savvy enough) to have noticed what phone provider she had and then went and bought the appropriate phone card all the while knowing the money was just bait that she wouldn’t take. My real intent was to get her the phone card. If I had offered her the phone card first she would have turned it down. She knew that I knew that as well.

In about 5 minutes, my stock had dramatically appreciated with her. She turned to me and say in Russian “Taz, ti xitrii chelovek!” In English it means “Taz, you are a clever man!” This is a pretty good compliment in my book. It added to her comfort level and trust in me. A RW wants her man to be a rock she can rely on. She wants him to be intelligent and clever among other things. I had definitely passed the clever test and she already realized I am an intelligent man.

So fast forward back to the time JD and I are about to leave. JD is still wound up and he just wants to get the “Fyk out of Mari” as he says. I tell him I plan to stop in Zap on the way back and see Fatty. I have picked up a care package for Fatty but JD doesn’t know about it. Fatty and his wife are going through a rough patch after the birth of their son. Apparently he isn’t getting any at the moment even though it’s been long enough as the in-laws are just making his life hell as they are living with her family. Her mom insisted they move in so they could help take care of the baby before she leaves. They are waiting for her interview data and to get a US passport for their son.

Romance has been truly non-existent lately between them. I have bought him a nice bottle of champagne, bottle of wine, chocolate, cheese and fruits and quite a few other goodies to help with romance. Additionally I have picked up a bunch of baby supplies as apparently his wife complains that his friends are worthless and his time spent with them is wasted. My intent is to show here that even though she wasn’t referring to me that Americans can be pretty good people.

So JD and I finally are heading to Kiev via Zap. I am sad to be leaving Lana. I want to call her but we had a pretty late and intense evening and I figure she needs her rest. I’ll let her sleep in even though I know she wouldn’t mind me calling I will have other opportunities to call her later. We are making good time and I call Fatty to confirm that we will be stopping in Zap. He is really excited. He has been pretty bored since we weren’t around. He asks how long can we stay as he wants to finalize a meeting with one of his wife’s friends.

I say at most 2 hours as we must be in Kiev tonight and the weather is turning pretty crappy and the forecast is for light snow becoming heavier after midnight. I want to be in Kiev well before midnight as it could be a pain to find a hotel and I don’t want any issues as we have a morning flight out on Sunday. He says that should be enough time.

We are making pretty good time. Launch the Hyundai off a few hills and keep going. It starts snowing but it is only light snow and the roads are just wet. JD wants to look at the map as he wants to see how the GPS is routing us. In general lit looks pretty good until it wants to route me back through that cursed town again. There is no way I am going back through that war zone. I ignore it and it complains I’ll be a long ways out of my way. Screw it anyway I am going ahead. I find another road and can see it off to my left and JD sees it too. He agrees it looks pretty “spooky”.

We are finally back on a route that the GPS agrees with. We are making pretty good time but Kiev is still a long way off. We give Fatty a call. He is so excited. He has been pretty bored since we left and wants to meet. He has already has a specific woman lined up for us to meet; Sveta. Apparently Sveta worked with his wife for a long time and she knows her well. Fatty asks me if I want to meet Sveta or should he suggest she meet JD. I laugh and ask if she is good looking. He says not as nice as that model chick you… I suggest it would be much more interesting if JD were to meet her. He asks me what I mean by that. I said you’ll see.

I give Fatty our ETA and we make it almost on the minute to his door. We hop in the car and explain we don’t have much time. JD needs to meet this woman, bed her and leave in a matter of 2 hours or less so he needs to call her up ASAP. I’m just kidding about the bed part. I don’t think any woman has done any more than kiss JD. I am not really sure if that has even happened. Not that he hasn’t wanted to but no luck so far.

Fatty says Sveta will meet us at 5PM as JD wants to meet her sooner. That is too late. I hope to be betting pretty close to Kiev by then as the snow looks to be increasing and with a bridge out I need to go a different way back to Kiev which will take longer. JD calls up Sveta and tells her to hurry up and come in. Sveta explains she has hurt her foot and is difficult for her to walk. JD tells Fatty, to tell Sveta, to get her @$$ in here. Apparently she lives a ways out of town. She says it will take about 40 minutes to walk to the bus and then get a ride to meet us.

Sveta finally arrives. She is really quite attractive but I know JD won’t be interested. She is too nice so it will be a CF. JD is simply a picky guy who will never be happy with any woman until he realizes what he is lost. Most picky guys will never be satisfied no matter what the woman will do. It is just a matter of when they will leave not if.

Anyway I suggest we go to a nice little pizza place close to the center. They have great food, relaxing atmosphere and reasonable prices. On the way there Fatty introduces us to Sveta in person.  I can see JD is attracted by her physical appearance and I let him walk with her. JD would be willing to blank her but not marry her from what I can tell. I walk behind them and it is obvious that Sveta is pretty good looking as well as having a nice trunk and she carries herself quite nicely.

We get a nice table at the restaurant and who turns out to be our waitress but a girl that JD had sort of flirted with before. This is going to be even more interesting than I imagined. JD is his usual, uptight @$$hole, self at this moment. JD is in a really testy mood and it is obvious to me. Fatty can sense something is wrong but can’t quite put his finger on it. He doesn't know JD as well as I do but he can see it in his body language. Quite likely Sveta is too.

Fatty asked if it was a good idea for him to have introduced Sveta to JD. He says she is a “good girl”. He again states that she isn’t as hot as the chick I was dating there but Sveta is very sincere and is pretty attractive. JD doesn't want a good girl at this moment; he wants an easy one. At this moment JD is trying to look down the front of her shirt. Fatty and I look at JD and then realize where he is looking and we all end up looking at the same place. Sveta then sees all of us looking at her wonder twins and blushes beet red. The conversation totally dries up at this moment.

I laugh and tell Fatty in Russian that they are a nice “pair”. Fatty gets my joke and answers me in Russian, that they do look good together. We of course are talking about Sveta and JD. Finally Sveta gets the joke and laughs. It broke the ice a bit.

Sveta can’t speak much English but she did bring her phrase book. She is definitely prepared for this date. JD is JD. What can I say? He doesn’t give a damn at this point and it shows in his attitude.

Time for an intermission again. Coming up in Episode 14 is the return to Kiev. Can you say miltia? Does Taz speak AK47? Has Taz finally had it with JD’s petulant attitude? Can JD manage to piss everyone off? Stay tuned.

[dneid]

Hey, Taz,
I have read everything to date.  Great posts.  I have learned a great deal and have just enjoyed the TRs.  Please oh please finish this soon.  I feel like I am sitting on the edge of my seat and the anticipation is killing me.
Thanks,
Dale

[Taz]

@Dale - I am impressed. If you read all the way through this. It is pretty amazing. I just started out to chronicle the "adventures" of a friend and it turned into a novella. Glad you hung around. I will post the next episode sometime this weekend.

I did receive a call from JD tonight. He has decided to return for sure. He is 100% certain he will go back to the FSU. He is really thinking about Moldova. Women in Moldova, I suggest you exit your country now!  JD plans to be their soon.

I joke, but just a little. JD is really considering going there. I hadn't heard from in a while about going back and I thought he just gave up. He asked me where I planned on going since its been a while.  I made the mistake of telling him I was seriously considering Moscow. I dated a Moskvichka for a long time. What a woman. I wouldn't mind one of those again. A good woman from Moscow is pretty amazing but truly hard to find. Not meant to be an insult to women from Moscow but after working there, I sure encountered quite a few bad ones. The stories I could tell...but likely never will.

So hang in there a bit longer, JD has so more life left in him and Taz's adventure is quite over just yet.

[Faux Pas]

Taz

Like dneid I'm enthralled. Really good stuff and you explain it so well. Personally, I'm interested in the antics of boots on the street and you my friend are doing an excellent job. I gather from the tone of the story this has been some time ago? If so you would have an interesting story as well for follow up from your personal story line without JD. I have friends like JD and I understand. They're not too bad to discard but sometimes not worth standing up for as well. But you know, you can pick you nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose. LOL...think about it.  What happened to you and Lana? Seems to be a match you've sought. Or are you the guy that has been there 15 times in 15 years and still looking?