Scam or not?

[Sculpto]

Hi everyone.. I would like to present a scenario that has taken place and get opinions if I have been scammed or not.  I am sorry it is a long post but I want to be detailed and specific and as objective as I can.

So, I started a correspondence with a lady from Ukraine on a  site that has live video chat.  The "relationship" proceeded at a normal rate and one day I mentioned that I wished I could meet her right away but travelling was months away.  The lady responded by suggesting we meet in the Dominican Republic.  Initially I declined for the same reason as I could not go to meet her in Ukraine immediately, because of work and also my father has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.. so.. it just wasn't a good time.  However, because the lady had mentioned previously that she had a great job as a researcher for a scientific institute I came to the conclusion she was able to travel to the DR on her own "dime".  I suggested to her we could meet in DR later in several months and she agreed to it.

After thinking about it a little I started to feel it might be unreasonable to expect this lady did in fact have th money to travel on her own because she mentioned she had never been outside Ukraine before.. and knowing the reputation of the DR I became a little suspicious.  I contacted customer service and they agreed and suggested I ask the lady how she planned to pay for her ticket.  So I did, and she was offended but I calmed the situation and we continued to correspond.  During this whole time her chats and letters became more and more romantic and passionate and really full of flowers.  I was falling for her.

Then, without warning I received a message that she was in the hospital suffering pneumonia!  I became distraught, contacted the site customer service who investigated and learned that the lady was not in the hospital at all but had gone to meet someone and "did not want to hurt your feelings".  I immediately became very upset because the lady had asked for me to pay for English lessons and I agreed.. to the tune of 350 bucks!  I also noted that her disappearance coincided with the time period she had stated she wanted to go to the DR.  Not looking good.. but the site advised me to be patient and wait until she returned for an explanation.

When the lady returned it was revealed that she had in fact gone to the DR to meet a man but it was a disaster of a trip and she was very sorry for hurting me.  I decided to give her another chance.  Love blindness maybe on my part?

So, I also decided there was no sense in waiting.. so I bit the bullet.. took unpaid leave from work and got on the plane.  She would meet me in the airport and we would travel back to her city together.

After my flight arrived I waited 2 hours before I gave up and contacted another friend in that city who came and got me from the airport.  When I checked the internet that night I saw that my lady had some unexpected problem and did nto make it to the airport but she was waiting for me in her city.  My friends advised me to not go to her.. but.. the magnet could not be stopped.. so, the next day I travelled to her city and we met that night for dinner with the Agency manager acting as the translator because everyone "want to be sure there are no misunderstandings". 

It seemed we connected.. she came to me the next day and we went for a walk in the forest outside her city and had dinner that night.  But.. then things started to get weird.  Suddenly she did nto have time to meet with me more.  I waited a whole day.. finally the next day she arrived at the apartment for a romantic dinner i had prepared for her.  halfway through the meal her phone rang and she said she had to go back to work.  I felt crushed.  But, she said she would make it up to me the next day.  I waited for her the entire day.. every two hours she said.. wait two more hours.. until finally the day was finished and i never saw her.  More apologies.. and again.. wait until tomorrow.. so I wasted another day waiting for her.. and nothing.. the Agency manager advised me to meet some other girls but I did not want to.  But.. on the thrid day when again she postponed our meeting I gave up and decided to meet other girls.  More intro fees.. more translation costs.. and then I had to return to the USA.

I was very confused.. I felt we had good meetings and there was chemistry.. but.. she made me wait and that was not right.  And then she disappeared again from the site.  For two more weeks I waited to contact her.  Finally there was a conference call and she used the occasion to bash me for meeting with other girls and for having unreasonable expectations of her relative to time spent together.  Whoa.. I was really pissed after that and it was at that moment I felt I had been part of a well played translation scam.  The site did not agree and refused to make any adjustments regarding the English lessons I had paid for or credits for the correspondence.

Now.. a few months have passed and I noticed the same agency in her city is cross posting profiles on just about every site there is.  The agency has a lot of new girls.. none of them speak English.  I have brought this to the attention of the site where I originally contacted this lady and they claim they can not control what their affiliate agencies do.  This is even More troublesome because this site requires a significant investment before they will allow direct contact with the ladies.  Pretty crappy to spend 1K and then find the girl on AFA or some other site where her contact can be had after a couple of letters.

Altogether I spent 3-400 on correspondence, 350 on English lessons and another 400 or so on intro fees and translation on the ground.

Anyway.. that is the story.. what do you all think?

[groovlstk]

Man, I'm sorry to see you were put through the ringer. SCAM on all accounts. At the very least your love interest has a boyfriend or husband and has no interest in you outside of your wallet.

Welcome to the wonderful world of FSU dating!

I wish you'd discovered RWD long ago, you would have been advised in no uncertain terms to steer clear of these people based on your pre-trip correspondence.

[Son of Clyde]

Sounds like a a major scam. Like she does this all the time. I am sorry you had to travel all that distance for the abuse. Sometimes I think it does not pay to be mister nice guy. I hope you meet someone genuine very soon. There are hundreds of RW right here in the US.

[evaljean]

Pretty mild for a scam.  She might just not have been interested, or it is her way of having fun.

Keep in mind most men will never, ever make the trip to FSU, so if someone wants to come, and she gets so free meals, then no harm no foul.

You got off light, read some more boards about guys getting taken for 20K, 30K or more.

Also, how much have you spent on women stateside that has gone nowhere.

It's all in the game.

Cheers!

Brian

[tim 360]

Sculpto, From what you have written this is a definite SCAM.  But, it was a light touch as these scams go.  It could have been worse.  It definitely is evident that the "agency" was involved or was actually the puppetmaster trying to get more revenue from you.  There is alot of good info here from some pretty savy guys and I would encourage you to read before you hop on a plane or plunk down more dollars. Good luck!

[Simoni]

It seemed we connected.. she came to me the next day and we went for a walk in the forest outside her city and had dinner that night.  But.. then things started to get weird.  Suddenly she did nto have time to meet with me more.  I waited a whole day.. finally the next day she arrived at the apartment for a romantic dinner i had prepared for her.  halfway through the meal her phone rang and she said she had to go back to work.  I felt crushed.  But, she said she would make it up to me the next day.  I waited for her the entire day.. every two hours she said.. wait two more hours.. until finally the day was finished and i never saw her. 

You were scammed.

Your were deceived, lied to, and abused emotionally and financially.

This scam scheme utilizes what I'll term a professional dater.

An agency puts out the face and profile of a pretty girl.

Fifty guys may be writing to her.  The staff answers her letters for her, using a legend written for the girl.

When a few of the 50 actually make the trip, the real girl meets them.  But she is really busy because some weeks she has multiple "dates" coming in to visit.

The agency makes big bucks on English lessons, flowers, candies, video chats, and on and on.

This sounds like the old scam that Confidential Connections (now ualadys) used to run.

I'm sorry this happened to you, Sculpto.

[Jet]

Sounds like the agency has recruited a pro-dater. One thing most of the "involved" guys can vouch for, is that if there really is chemistry, she will move heaven and earth to arrange more time to be with you. In my case, I found out upon returning home from my first trip to Russia, that the woman who later became my wife, traded away a month of Saturdays so a colleague would cover for her so she could spend an additional 3 days with me. My experience is not unusual by any stretch and I've heard of other wives who've gone through a lot more, for a lot less face time. I think it was KenC's Lena that travelled 4 hours each way by train DAILY to spend time with him - THAT'S impressive!

[BillyB]

Altogether I spent 3-400 on correspondence, 350 on English lessons and another 400 or so on intro fees and translation on the ground.

Anyway.. that is the story.. what do you all think?

I think most smart and sincere women would think you're pussy whipped. How could you let a woman walk all over you time and time again and continue to forgive her for doing those things to you? I'm sure she's beautiful and you're just one of the many guys she's seeing.

The good new Sculpo is that you can change for the better. Do not fall in love with photos and women you never met. Do not fantasize about marrying a woman you never met. Do not send them money before meeting a woman. You do not need to meet them in a neutral location. Do you need help from the Dominican Republic or Paris to win a woman's heart or do you have enough confidence in yourself? If you know your worth and feel you're a fine catch with multiple options, then walk away from a woman the minute she's using you. She will respect you more! A sincere woman will not ask anything from you and she will want you to meet her friends and family.

You met a pro dater. I won't say you've been scammed because she is real and available to date and you did get something in return for the time and thousands of dollars you spent and that was a date with the woman. She could've avoided the date with you entirely.

What agency did you use? $400 in correspondence with one girl, my first guess would be Hot Russian Brides/Russian Love Match.

[Shadow]

Sculpto you have scammed yourself.

I know your story from Antidate and they have tried to give you advise about this woman while it all happened. You got a lot of 'drop her' and 'forget her' there, but decided every time to forgive and forget, until the visit.

Now you are looking for sympathy for losing 1k that you could have avoided if you had only had listened to the advise you got from the start.

Regarding the woman, it was very clear early on that she had no interest in you and used you for whatever she could get out of you.

[I/O]

The "Sting" adds up to about a grand or a bit more if I count correctly. You got off light, count your blessings. Some have spent 30 grand with the same result.

Now go to the FAQ section and read it a couple of times. You'll be a lot wiser next time around.

I/O

[viking]

Sculpto

I have personally been down this road myself. A very professional "pro-dater" nailed me both emotionally and financially. And this is a woman I had met several times on one trip. And maybe a 100 hours on the phone. Why? I did not pay attention to the red flags waving in my face nor did I listen to reason from people who knew better. If everyone is telling you to move on, then move on. I learned a very valuable lesson. After some time has passed and you can think more rationally, I will bet you will revisit many of the conversations you had and then understand/realize where the train went off the tracks. I wish you better luck.

[Nando]

You have been scammed of course

This scam scheme utilizes what I'll term a professional dater.

Fifty guys may be writing to her.  The staff answers her letters for her, using a legend written for the girl.

When a few of the 50 actually make the trip, the real girl meets them.  But she is really busy because some weeks she has multiple "dates" coming in to visit.

A girl like this one receives hundreds of letters not fifty, she is a pro-dater and lives very well with her "profession". A good girl receives 90 letters if she is listed for a short time and doesn't have even time to meet the guys who go to the agency, see the catalogue and meet her. She works and have a family so doesn't have time to meet many foreigners...


You made a lot of mistakes:
-Vacations in DR or other place like this is enough to send her "home". There is always a guy who says "I went there with my GF for the first meeting and everything was good". For each one like this there are 500 who have been scammed

A good girl doesn't ask for money or for you to buy gifts. She expects you to give them, and that is normal in every relationship but after you met her and trust her.

I also see a culture in Ukraine where the men (Ukrainians) give what ever the girl wants in order to get her, mobiles, expensive dresses, jewelry, etc,etc. These girls are use to receive all sort of gifts and think it is normal for you to give Digital cameras, dinners in expensive restaurants and all kind of amenities. This is the reason why a poor looking guy can have a very hot girlfriend there very, very easily...
The problem is to find a good girl not used to this system...

They exist but are not easy to find. Good luck in the future and keep your wallet shut.

[jj]

forget these expensive, addictive , "sucker" sites.  Many of us were guilty of exploring them only to be ripped off.  They like nice, naive guys who have never visited RWD ahead of time. 

[evaljean]

In the words of a famous guru...

"Don't hate the player.
Hate the game."

Don't blame the woman for letting yourself get suckered.

Why does she do it?  Because that is what she does. 'Nuff said.

Count yourself lucky, learn from it, move on.

Life is too short to do otherwise.

Eric

[Simoni]

What happened to Sculpto?

Sculpto, was it indeed Confidential Connections that led you on with the professional dater?

Sounds exactly like their business model.

[Shadow]

What happened to Sculpto?

Sculpto, was it indeed Confidential Connections that led you on with the professional dater?

Sounds exactly like their business model.

I might have scared him off by telling that I read his story...This guy got taken to the cleaners after he looked up the address in the Yellow Pages and drove there himself...

[evaljean]

Sculpto you have scammed yourself.

I know your story from Antidate and they have tried to give you advise about this woman while it all happened. You got a lot of 'drop her' and 'forget her' there, but decided every time to forgive and forget, until the visit.

Is this antidate.org you are talking about?  It was all in Russian, or is there another antidate site I should look for.

I would like to read Sculpto's story.

Let me know.

Uncle Eric

[Shadow]

Antidate has a small English part called Crocodile Tears. In the Ask the Women section you will find his thread.
I enter at page 6, but by that time others had already given up all hope....

[BC]

Antidate has a small English part called Crocodile Tears.

I must admit the name is quite fitting.

[Sculpto]

Hey Guys,
Sorry I disappeared there.. just got busy with the holidays and so on...

Shadow.. I knew I was taking a big risk.. but.. the heart wants what the heart wants.. and I do feel lucky I didn't spend a lot more than I did.  It was a setback but not a knockout, plus I got to see Odessa and there is nothing bad about that. 

The trip was not a total waste.. I met other ladies that were cool and the experience in some ways was worth it.. my search has taken on a new meaning and I have changed my method as a result.

The site was HRB/RLM.  I did get some credits refunded back to my account which I have used much more wisely.  Even though they did not agree it was a scam they did do something to make me feel a little better.  At this point if I find anyone on there I like I get the phone number and icq immediately and communicate with them off the site.  Also I have been watching the Kherson agency where this took place very very carefully and if there is an opportunity to catch them red handed I will do it.  BTW.. this agency puts girls on Anastasia and AFA so you can be pretty sure any girls from that city on those sites is questionable.  As I say that I know there are some good women there that are being played by the agency as much as the men.  I think the girls are mostly innocent to the scam which has been quite cleverly designed by the agency manager.

I have also discovered the free sites in Russian language and so far I am having interesting results.  I even found one of the ladies on HRB also on the free site and she is a sweetheart and also mentioned she had doubts about the HRB site, though she has not removed her profile yet.  And yes there are plenty of RWs in the states and especially near where I live. 

[Shadow]

Sculpto, the main thing is that you have learned from your experience. Some people have to learn themselves as they are unable to understand the advice given is real. I hope that if in the future you have any doubts you will not only ask questions, but take the advise given as well. It will shorten the road to find your soulmate.

[DeryniLord]

Definitely sounds like a scam or at the very least she was not being upfront about her intentions. When my wife and I met, I was very leery of things. I had done alot of research online into what to look for. Thankfully, I got a truly amazing woman who is still with me. Nothing underhanded at all, but after hearing so many stories, people realy need to do their homework and check out the women they are communicatin with. We've seen many US men who are just as guilty of scamming honest FSU women, who were just trying to find love and a new start in life. It would surprise people just how much time, money and trouble they could save themselves if they took advantage of some of the investigative services out there and did a simple background check.

[Admin]

Definitely sounds like a scam or at the very least she was not being upfront about her intentions. When my wife and I met, I was very leery of things. I had done alot of research online into what to look for. Thankfully, I got a truly amazing woman who is still with me. Nothing underhanded at all, but after hearing so many stories, people realy need to do their homework and check out the women they are communicatin with. We've seen many US men who are just as guilty of scamming honest FSU women, who were just trying to find love and a new start in life. It would surprise people just how much time, money and trouble they could save themselves if they took advantage of some of the investigative services out there and did a simple background check.

If you care to - maybe outline some of the process for our members ?

- Dan