Writing the best introductory letter, ever.

[AnastassiaAsh]

I like to keep my intro letter short, informative, and straight to the point. Mine goes like this..

Dear <Name>
WOW!! YOU are SMOKIN' HOT!!! I'd LOVE to be lost in THAT cleavage! Don't send in a search party, I'll live off the land!  WHEWooooooWEEEEEE!!! Send me a letter Baybay!!
Your future Studmuffin..


So far they've all been playing "hard to get", but that's okay, I can handle it. 

Daveman-the Studmuffin, I know you couldn't help saying it....  I am sure your humor plays a big part in your popularity among RW. 

[ISORW]

I like this thread, what a pity I deleted most of the funny introductory letters that men wrote to me
aha, write this and all women will know that you are going on a  tour and she will be one of 100 girls you are going to see.

remember: you are making the trip because of the lady, not meet the lady because she lives on the way from one town to another so you will find a couple of minutes to see her

Well Serebro that's a difference of philosophy...it's been hashed over numerous times about WMVM and WOVO.  Even if it was not a discussion about these 2 differering methods, my recent experience indicates to me that a woman prefers to know that you have plans to come.  I've run across many women now who told me in no uncertain terms that they are sick and tired of keyboard Romeo's who write a 1000 letters (figuratively speaking) and never visit.  Most said to make a time when you want to be in Ukraine/Russia/etc and then tell them when you are going to be in town.  By telling them you are planning to come visit in 4 months, you are not necessarily saying you are seeing 100 women, but rather the ones who you find most compatible after doing some letter writing/calls/etc, but you are telling them you are serious about them and not looking to write for months and months without setting a foot in country...

[Jet]

....(don't send a pictures of you in or near your car)

WHAT? No good?  :noidea: 

[Taz]

I’ll make a few suggestions as well. Make sure you NEVER put anyone down in your letters. If you don’t like American or Canadian women or whatever type of women, don’t put them down.

Photos are important as mentioned. Max size per photo should be 50KB or less. Try and keep total letter and photos to under 150KB. Many women have to deal with dial-up connections OR have to pay per KB of data downloaded.

Always be positive. Read her profile thoroughly. Comment about something in it that is UNIQUE and compelled you to write HER. Don’t talk about what a big rack she has or anything like that. Comment on some area that shows you actually took the time to read what she wrote.

ALWAYS ask open-ended questions that will start conversation rather than end it. Make sure your questions will require more than a simple yes/no answer. If you are truly interested in this woman you want to engage her in dialogue. Open ended questions are good lead-ins for this.

Don’t spew a bunch of facts. Turn those facts into an emotional picture. Emphasize the stability of your employment or your ability to earn. For example I wrote “По профессии я - специалист по компьютерным сетям, эта область, и вообще все, что связано с компьютерами, в последнее время развивается сумасшедшими темпами, по крайней мере, я знаю точно, что на хлеб с маслом - и икрой поверх масла - я всегда заработаю.” You can run it through a translator if you want but basically I am reinforcing that I am a specialist in my field and that I’ll always be able to earn a living. Women want to know that you have stability and you can take care of them. I highlighted the part that I wanted to drill home.

Just in case you didn’t figure it out, I would write women in Russian. I realize this isn’t an option for all of you but if you are using a non-agency type site, writing in her native language can be a plus but it would take more effort for most of you.

Keep in mind that you are basically writing and advertisement about yourself. You are selling a product; yourself! Don’t lie. Don’t oversell yourself. DO promote the areas that the typical RW will be interested in such as your stability, your ability to provide for a family, your education, how you are a caring and attentive man, how you value family, etc. Don’t lay these out simply as facts but phrase them in a way that adds an emotional component such as I did in my Russian example.

I wouldn’t mention your salary or how much money or assets you have. Don’t come across boastful or as a braggart but as someone confident. Describe how the woman you are writing has characteristics of the woman you search for (if not, why did you write her anyway?). Indicate you have only serious intentions and be sincere.  Lastly end on a positive note.

I don’t want to write a book on this topic but it is very important to have a good intro letter. If you can’t do it yourself, pay someone to do it for you. This is typically your first and possibly only, chance to make an impression on this woman.

[catzenmouse]

WHAT? No good?  :noidea: 

Wow Jet! You've really cleaned yourself up good! New tape on the glasses.. and... is that a new pocket protector I see there? 

[MaxxumUSA]

A few things from my perspective:

First of all photos:  I had photos of myself in the back yard cooking on a grill, myself on my harley, myself in a suit in my home, myself near my supercharged sports car, and myself on my snowmobile amongst a few others.  Also made sure to show some of my tattoos in a few photos.

Now...  Motorsports is a big part of my life.  And I have dated women before that did not like these things.  So I put photos of what is around me and my hobbies.  Not really to brag that I have these things.

My introduction letter was probably 2 or so pages.  I had it professionally translated to russian.  I don't have a copy now because the files were lost on that computer.

Basically I told about:

-  How serious I was to find a soul mate any where in the world she is.
-  I am ready and willing to travel once I find a woman to visit.
-  How important family and friends are to me.
-  My ability to provide including education background and current situation.
-  Things I do for fun - even included my poker playing.
-  My thoughts about a loving relationship.  (In general terms)


I wrote this intro to a few women  on Elena's models - my wife was one of those letters that I sent.

I received about 3 out of 4 positive responses where a woman seemed to want to get to know me.  Quite a few women put me on the spot and invited me to visit after reading only one letter.

I was pretty straight forward and factual with the "meat" of the standard letter.  In the beginning I personalized the letters to the different women a little bit with an english introduction.

Sounds kind of boring and I did not focus that much on humor.  Rather wanted to let them know that I am very serious about coming to visit and lay out the facts.  There was plenty time for humor in follow up emails and conversations.

FWIW - Maxxum

[vwrw]

Emphasize the stability of your employment or your ability to earn. For example I wrote “По профессии я - специалист по компьютерным сетям, эта область, и вообще все, что связано с компьютерами, в последнее время развивается сумасшедшими темпами, по крайней мере, я знаю точно, что на хлеб с маслом - и икрой поверх масла - я всегда заработаю.” You can run it through a translator if you want but basically I am reinforcing that I am a specialist in my field and that I’ll always be able to earn a living. Women want to know that you have stability and you can take care of them. I highlighted the part that I wanted to drill home.

Translation of the highlighted part: I know precisely, I will always earn (enough money) to have a bread, butter and caviar (to put above of the bread and butter).

We say that person has only stale bread when we talk about a person living in poverty.
We say that person earns enough to have bread with butter when we talk about a person who earns enough to provide himself with all necessary but without luxuries.
We say that person earns enough to not only have bread with butter, but to have caviar also we talk about a person who can afford luxuries on regular basis.

If my understanding of the idiom is wrong, everyone is welcome to correct me.

[Jet]

vwrw, If your understanding is wrong, then you're not alone. I understood it the same way

[Taz]

I don't ever eat stale bread. While caviar isn't a staple of my diet as I personally detest it, it isn't a problem to buy it. It's nice to see people actually read a post rather than argue aroun here. Typically too much noise and not enough info. 

[Daveman]

Daveman-the Studmuffin, I know you couldn't help saying it....  I am sure your humor plays a big part in your popularity among RW. 

LoL, I wish!  That's the beauty of fantasy... it blots out the doldrums of reality! 

I just wish I could manage to get a popularity of ONE... then I'll be perfectly content. 


Joking aside, it's difficult for me to even bother with the Intro letters.  I'll search through fifty profiles to find one who really interests me, where something in me just "sparks".. and there really is no rhyme nor reason as to what that is.  And then during the time period when I'm writing to her, it is not easy for me to write to other women.  I have no idea why, and I really need to change that to increase my odds of success, but I don't know how.  When I'm sparking for one woman, I'm just not really into conversations with any other. 

Perhaps I'll give Russian Hypnosis a try.. 

[vwrw]

It's nice to see people actually read a post rather than argue aroun here. Typically too much noise and not enough info. 

Some info for you ,Taz. When man feeds woman by “promises” which he is unable to implement, he takes the risk of getting in ugly divorce with her afterwards. Do you know that the one of main reasons for divorce is unmet expectations?

[Taz]

Every couple has their own reasons for divorce. People need to be pretty open about their situation. In Russia, typical a computer specialist is consider and "admin" and generally their compensation is not that good. I made sure I conveyed a sense of stability and not being poor.  Women want men who can provide for their family. My example expresses that I am good provider. Too many men go there with barely enough money to get there and back. I am not worried about a woman being a gold digger either. I can weed them out pretty quickly.

If a man is trying to do this on a minimal budget, he is in the wrong pursuit. It is very difficult to do this unless you have a fair amount of disposable income. Trips to the FSU aren't cheap. The entire visa process is expensive. Your support of your future wife will be more expensive than you thought. She'll likely want/need new close. Believe me, I have far more experience here than the vast majority of men here.

Never did I suggest anyone copy my letter verbatim. Nor should anyone be foolish enough to do so. Most men here aren't going to write it any Russian anyway. Personally I think this is a mistake to not write it in Russian. I did an experiment with a friend of mine. We setup two different profiles. One in Russian, one in English. We gave both differerent names. We wrote the same women from the different profiles. He got far more responses when his intro letter was in Russian. Almost every time his letter was opened when it was addressed in Russian to the woman. About 60% of the time. This was on a site where it wasn't going through an agency.

For you guys who don't believe think it is worthwhile to write or have a Russian intro letter written for you, I want you to think about one thing. All other things being equal, if two similar Russian women wrote you, one in English and one in Russian (and you spoke no Russian) which one are you more likely to read and respond too first?

If you are writing through and agency, typically they are going to charge you for translation unless you have it written in Russian. If you are writing a bunch of women, you could also save a substantial amount of money if you have your intro letter in Russian and don't have to pay for translation. This will somewhat negate the fact of having a personalized letter to the woman BUT you could use an online translator to modify it slightly once you understand the area you need to modify. I'll try and give an example later but I am sure some of you can figure it out.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Well i think and it is strictly my opinion - if you send a picture of you standing near you car and it is a normal car - it will look like you are showing her your 'toothbrush', meaning something that you are supposed to have, so what....if you are standing near your luxurious car - you are bragging and it makes me feel as if you are 'buying' me....Maybe other women think differently.
If you have a cool luxury car, send a picture of it much much later into your relationship maybe....

[AnastassiaAsh]

For you guys who don't believe think it is worthwhile to write or have a Russian intro letter written for you, I want you to think about one thing. All other things being equal, if two similar Russian women wrote you, one in English and one in Russian (and you spoke no Russian) which one are you more likely to read and respond too first?

Taz, thanks, can't be said better.

If you are planning to write only those women who know English very well or are not planning to use a translator for any reason, have your intro letter still translated - it is really an ad for yourself, your presentation...not in front of your friends, relatives, people or even a president...but before that special woman of your dreams that you may marry one day! How important is that! How perfect should it be!

[Taz]

What? You mean women can't be bought? I've been operating under the wrong assumption for all these years? You mean Bill Gate's wife might have actually loved him and didn't marry him for his BILLIONS of dollars?

That means even some of the ugly trolls looking for RW have hope!!! Thanks you so much for giving hope to even my friends like JD.

I think the best idea is showing photos of the activities you are involved in rather than a normal car. OTOH if racing is one of your hobbies (like me), then it might have more relevancy. Everyone around the world already knows all Americans drive BMW's so...if show a picture of a BMW, you are showing off your toothbrush. If you show something better then you are bragging. If you show something worse then obviously you are a loser. If you have to explain the type of car so the woman understands it, you are likely too esoteric for her. If she doesn't know what a Hennessey Viper is than find a woman who does!

So that brings us to what is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

If you didn't figure it out already this was a quasi tongue-in-cheek post. The question is whose cheek was my tongue in? Or vice versa.

[Taz]

Taz, thanks, can't be said better.

If you are planning to write only those women who know English very well or are not planning to use a translator for any reason, have your intro letter still translated - it is really an ad for yourself, your presentation...not in front of your friends, relatives, people or even a president...but before that special woman of your dreams that you may marry one day! How important is that! How perfect should it be!

Darn it, Anastassia...if you agree with me too often you are going to ruin my image around here. 

I am working hard to rise up the level of some of the other drivel spewing posters but it may be beyond my reach. At least I have aspirations of greatness!

On a less serious note, an ad is an ad. There is a reason big companies pay MILLIONS of dollars each year to reach their target market. Well you might ask "Taz, what the he double hockey sticks have does my profile have to do with that there "target market?" Is that the store with the big red dot on it? Is that were I need to go place my ad? I know they sell a lot of things there, do they sell profiles there as well? Maybe they REALLY do have a MOB's there (mail order bride in case you don't know the acronym)? Tell me more about this target market thingie-ma-bob."

YOUR target market is likely Tanya (insert your favorite Russian name here (please don't use Boris though as the is the RW discussion area not RM!)), the sweet demure, sensitive, alluring, wildcat that is 29 years old and is looking for a man like YOU! Well YOU if you could express yourself in such a manner as to actual get her attention WITHOUT putting your foot in your mouth or making a cultural faux pas.

It is very important that you appeal to her on an emotional level. Don't get all buried in facts! Facts are for accountants and engineers. Women typically care about what makes them FEEL good. Facts only MATTER when it elicits a FEELING! Not all women are that way but if I had to bet a wad of cash on which side of the fence to be on this issueI can tell you were I'm laying it down!

So take all those juicy facts about how your aforementioned Hennessey Viper does the quarter mile in 10.1 seconds and has 1.6 60' times on pump gas and street tires and turn it into something she can feel. You know the thrust in your back when you mash the throttle and those two turbos spool up and it feels like the hand of GOD ALMIGHTY is shoving you down the road so fast the devil himself can't catch you! Well use a little technique called emotional word pictures like I just did. I created a sense of feeling with my words that conveyed the sense of the facts that were important. Few people know what it feels like to run a 10 second quarter or faster. You need to help them FEEL it and women need it more than men. They talk about emotions all the time whereas men rarely do by comparison.

I am not a psychologist nor do I play one on TV. I play one however every time I am in the FSU as my friend JD needs one every time he meets with a RW and a fair amount of them need a little help too...to understand JD. I am having a little bracelet made up WWJDD. What would JD do? You know like the WWJD; what would Jesus do? Well I'll have mine made up and think about WWJDD. Whatever I think he would do, I'll do the opposite!

[2tallbill]

Lily it would be great to hear your perspective on this, or maybe a funny anecdote from the letters that you recieved.

BeregI zdorOvie! (take care)

Bill

[Serebro]

Well Serebro that's a difference of philosophy... I've run across many women now who told me in no uncertain terms that they are sick and tired of keyboard Romeo's who write a 1000 letters (figuratively speaking) and never visit.  Most said to make a time when you want to be in Ukraine/Russia/etc and then tell them when you are going to be in town.  By telling them you are planning to come visit in 4 months, you are not necessarily saying you are seeing 100 women, but rather the ones who you find most compatible after doing some letter writing/calls/etc, but you are telling them you are serious about them and not looking to write for months and months without setting a foot in country...

ISORW, it will be better  if you attach this explanation to your profile then.


In fact I would never write to the man knowing he is going to visit the FSU "this summer/spring", etc, the reason I explained in my first post of this thread.

I would never write to the man who says that he is "intelligent, educated, etc", at the same time I don't like when men start explaining why they are "here", on this website...
And the most terrible and mean thing is when they start saying bad things about AW and that they don't want them anymore.
That's miserable, and I remember that there was a special thread about that..
AnastassiaAsh

Well i think and it is strictly my opinion - if you send a picture of you standing near you car and it is a normal car - it will look like you are showing her your 'toothbrush', meaning something that you are supposed to have, so what....if you are standing near your luxurious car - you are bragging and it makes me feel as if you are 'buying' me....Maybe other women think differently

Anastasia, what if the man is very rich and the only thing he has is a $1,000,000 car and it's a normal car for him?!
Should he buy some $2000 car and take his picture with it in order not to hurt the girl's feelings?!
 

[Serebro]

I have forgotten:
add some joke or write your letter in a humorous way, but avoid the jokes that tallbill writes in the "humorous section"

[AnastassiaAsh]

Anastasia, what if the man is very rich and the only thing he has is a $1,000,000 car and it's a normal car for him?!
Should he buy some $2000 car and take his picture with it in order not to hurt the girl's feelings?!
 

Of course not, he shouldn't send any picture of his car at all, let the level of his luxury be a great surprise for her when she is here.  (AFTER she passed all of his tests)

The best is to take pictures of you in your home, that later might become the place where she will live too. In my book it is ok to take a picture of you in your luxurious home environment (furniture, library, big kitchen...), that will be enough for her to understand his financial level......showing your car off is bad manners for me, allthough it doesn't mean i hate good cars, I love them, it is just wrong time to show them during your dating period.

I don't know, maybe time drastically changed and now almost all women in Russia have good cars and want really know what cars their American boyfriends have, and it is ok.....but it was not like that for me 7 years ago and definitely not like that now. I was in Moscow last October and only noticed that it became desperately worse...

[BillyB]

Lily it would be great to hear your perspective on this, or maybe a funny anecdote from the letters that you recieved.

Did Lily post something? I got a topic reply e-mail that Lily is the last to post something since I read this thread and according to the time, it was right before your post Bill. Can you guys read Lily's post and is my mind playing tricks on me?

[SANDRO43]

Did Lily post something? I got a topic reply e-mail that Lily is the last to post something since I read this thread and according to the time, it was right before your post Bill. Can you guys read Lily's post and is my mind playing tricks on me?

Cannot see any recent post by Lily, here.

Or by the OP, either, must have been overwhelmed by all the advice .

[Mod1]

Did Lily post something? I got a topic reply e-mail that Lily is the last to post something since I read this thread and according to the time, it was right before your post Bill. Can you guys read Lily's post and is my mind playing tricks on me?

Lily made a post then removed the contents of the post leaving it saying "Deleted". The post was removed as it had no purpose in the thread.

[I/O]

My Mrs reckons letter from guys with photos of them standing with their prized possesions was the second biggest "turn off", but not far behind guys sending photos of their undersized limp d!cks. (Yeah they were still doing it at least up until two or three years ago.)

I've read about a zillion posts and articles on this subject and I've concluded it all a whole lot of BS. The very best introductory letter, ever is one that gets a response from a person you really wanted to write to. Point being we have the thousand letter guys who wouldn't have a clue who and where they want to write and are simply trying the numbers game with no real thought to who might actually receive that letter.

Once you have a response, the sale is basically made, it is a matter of closing it off and the only way one should do that in this caper is to be themselves all the way along. Let the rest pan out as it pans out.

Frankly, I think a half dozen sentences or less is enough, if decently worded, to kick the door open. Spilling life stories can come later IMO.

My Mrs wrote to me first, although we had briefly sighted each other a couple of years before, but never actually spoken, and her intro letter was a pearler....!! 3 sentences, badly translated and containing at least 6 questions. What the hell, her questions were related to politics and economics as she was in the latter stages of her second diploma and seeking information.

Yeah...right, that's her story and when I square her up, she goes a bit red and admits she circled my net profile for quite a few months before she plucked up the courage to write to me and she further assumed I wouldn't reply based on the fact that she further assumed I hadn't noticed her among the group a long time prior. I HAD, but I wasn't about to let on and I was very well aware she had a profile on this same website. 

The point out of all this waffle is that enough to get a response is  enough and then the work begins. Believe me, ours did. About a zillion letters and sms's later we finally met. BTW we NEVER spoke a word on the phone or by any other than print before meeting so I don't actually get too excited about this "Ya gotta get 'em on the phone as quick as you can".

I/O

[Christian]

I have forgotten:
add some joke or write your letter in a humorous way, but avoid the jokes that tallbill writes in the "humorous section"

There is a lot of savy revealed here in what Serebro counsels.  A woman with moral fabric, while not being perfect, will be greatly offended at a crase and off-color jokes.  Such unnecessary and over familiar behavio(u)r will only ellicite a response based on the woman's own moral integrity.  To a party girl everything is funny; to a mature in thought and understanding woman she will only cringe and schutter, be offended and walk.

Christian