How do you guys do it!!!

[neo]

if it makes you feel any better a few years ago i met 28 women (1 on 1 rather than through any sort of social i might add) in one week, i had dinner or some sort of cafe encounter with all of them. i had lunch 3 times in one day and dinner twice. By the end of the week i was so sick of women i thought about celibacy.

On the other extreme i met my wife on a WOVO jaunt (the only time i ever did that method) and i guess i got lucky. although living with a unstable temperament RW i would have to say celibacy would have been a more peaceful choice.

I digress.

The women expect you to visit more than one for the most part as they prefer not having the pressure of it all going wrong and you doing a huge load of money on what could be a 20 minute meeting with no chemistry....

good luck, but consider getting a cat. i wanted a russian cat, i got a russian wife. now she has a spanish rabbit and the cat is off the cards unless i let my mums dog at the rabbit....which ive been told will be the end of my life in a sudden but violent reprisal from she who must be obeyed whilst asleep.

little buggers chewed through my ADSL cable 3 times now.

[duplantisjj]

Hey folks thanks for all the great advice.  I'm soaking it all up.  Good stuff and I feel better today!  Just got tickets when I first posted this and was in that "WTF am I doing phase."  I think lurking this forum for the past year or so has made me so much more aware of all the (good and bad) possibilities and thank those for helping us have a better chance for success in this endeavor.  Anyone that thinks this is easy is kidding themselves.  The only expectation I have for this trip above all else, is to have fun.  And if I possibly find "the one" then great!  If it doesn't happen then it doesn't happen.  Can't force love to happen.  I'm hoping my Russian will be OK by then and I hope to have some type of main question list down to ask during the meetings.  Because, really, I don't want to be blinded by a beautiful dress and make-up.  I have serious questions for someone that I may spend the rest of my life with and I would hope she has similar questions about me.  I'm actually a pretty confident guy and have a great, stable job.  Just, personally, had enough of AW attitudes regarding family values.

Not sure if this means anything but I initiated the first contact with 2 of the 3 ladies that I'm interested in seeing.  I get probably 6 letters a week from Cindy girls and sort of blow most of those off to Agency playing match maker.  What I did like about Cindy was that a few girls actually wrote back "not interested" (one because I'm in Alaska, and she has no plans for Alaska) which does tell me that they are at least honest.

NEO:  I have a Russian Tortoise, best pet in the world!!  Can forget about it for days and it still lives..

groovlstk: Actually one of the 3 I'm seeing is new and has been there a few months.  I suppose she is one of their prettiest as I see her pic on their banner all the time now.   

[KenC]

duplantisjj,
You sound like you have your head on straight (and much more chipper today than yesterday).  By all means have fun!  Look at it as an adventure of a lifetime, because it is!

While you are pondering what to ask these ladies, make yourself some notes. Think about what is important to you.  Never be afraid to address every question you may have and it is OK to have a "cheat sheet" during these meetings.  Talk about everything!  Kids, religion, if she wants to continue her career, what makes her happy or sad etc.  But the most important question of all is "Are you prepared to move to America?"  There was a guy that owned Lifetime Partners for a while named Doc Woody and he called it "Converse in reverse."  His idea was to get the most important thing out of the way first.  Is she serious about leaving her home country?  Does she think she can really do it?
Shake out the serious answers first.  As aways, best of luck to you.
KenC

[Gator]

duplantisjj,

The only expectation I have for this trip above all else, is to have fun.  And if I possibly find "the one" then great!

Proper attitude. For sure the women will be fun.  Also to be enjoyed: the travel experience and immersing yourself in Ukrainian culture.  Just walking around and people watching is a treat.

Meeting RW is akin to  sales prospecting.  Somehow get them to do most of the talking.  That way, you learn more about their personality, values, interests and goals. I found RW reticent at first, but somehow most eventually warmed up.

Bring some photos of Anchorage, your family, etc.  However, do not dwell on them.  Your objective is to know as much as you can about each of them, not talk about yourself.  They will have their own questions. 

Be prepared that the women may not remember what you wrote nor what they wrote to you.   Cindy staff read your letters to them and then types a response based on her reaction.   Anyone that remembers all of those letters is really into you.

[Taz]

duplantisjj,

I don't want to through cold water on your plans but one thing I've heard repeatedly about Cindy Agency is that their photos are "touched up" more than most. So...what you see might not be what you get (or even remotely close to it).

I would also suggest having a few other agencies lined up in the area. You aren't that far from some decent towns to search in like Zaporozhzhe or Mariupol.

One issue with dating women from the same agency is there is a GOOD chance they might know each other. Some more "agressive" women will call the agency frequently to see if there is any new talent in town. If they know your exact time frame they might come and camp out at the agency. While helping a friend of mine (detailed in this thread http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=6490.0 ) I often saw women come into the local agencies and just hang out to see if someone interesting might have arrived in town. I highly suggest you take the time to read through that thread.

As for your location, I live in a pretty darn cold climate as well. I can tell you though from personal experience that living in Alaska you are in for a challenge with the ladies REGARDLESS of what they tell you. I have two good friends who married RW. Both of the women said no problem to living in Alaska. In both cases the women
told their new husbands we either leave Alaska or I LEAVE YOU!

I have spent a fair amount of time there. I love the area but it is a tough place for a family. One thing I did notice is that the tendency for men there to be chasing women as in general women seemed in real short supply. So if you bring home a good looking woman, be prepared for her to be chased after by every man in the county. My friend who brought back a moderately attractive woman from the area you are going to, practically had to shoot a few guys to keep them from hitting on his wife. Honestly she wasn't that attractive but apparently she was FAR better than what there was available locally.

I wish you the best of luck in your search! I'll be in the area in April as well. PM if you want more feedback on the Alaska implications.

[Faux Pas]

Duplantis

This is just a general statement and not advice. Like you I've read many of these threads on the forum and one thing I believe I have deciphered is that both WOVO and WMVM have many successes and failures. This seemingly can only mean that they both work and they both fail. The successes of one side seem to point to the failures of the other. All of these guys offer some excellent advice but, it's all academic. You've made plans for the three meetings and apparently from a gut feeling. Go with that feeling and play it out but also as both of those sides seem to agree, have a back up plan.

Reading back to myself that paragraph it would appear at first glance even to me as double talk. Trust me, a meaning is there. Go with what you feel is best and you can handle. Our natural survival instinct in most cases doesn't allow us to overload our capabilities. Or in short term "Our mouth writing a check, our ass can't cash". If you feel like 3 do 3. If it's 30, do 30. Or 1, do 1. You are the only one that truly knows what you're capable of.

Like you I'll be over there for my first time in April but I am going a different route than you and to a different area. It'll be interesting to compare our results.

[I/O]

If you had said women prefer "easy to get" men who already made up their mind to marry the woman they're visiting, then you are free to state your opinion and the readership can think for themselves.

Billy stick to facts please. Nobody said women are looking for "easy to get" men who already made up their mind to marry the woman they're visiting. If my questioning your opinion is "The problem" for you, I suggest you relax a little before you get your lady home because she'll drill down for facts a lot harder than most here.

Billy, you have insulted your own intelligence by twisting words to make a scene.

I/O

[DKMM]

Rule #1 should be Learn Russian!  I'm just amazed that anyone can still do this without speaking the language even at the moderate level.

[Mod1]

I also tried repeatedly to make peace and keep this thread on track.  In fact, it was I who hit the "notify mod" button to call you to the scene as not to destroy this fine thread.

In fact it was you who was reported for your posts to Billy that brought me into the thread.

I will contine to point out questionable advice given by anyone here as I always have.
KenC

Please do so. Just do it without attacks and insults and there will be no moderator intervention AND the message will be much clearer.

It is really not that hard for any of the membership to keep the little personal comments out of their posts. With the large amount of highly intelligent members here it should be even easier to find a way to say what you want to say without insults.

Now please excuse me while I go take care of real world work.

[MaxxumUSA]

Right before you visit, tell each of the ladies you are visiting as a friend. They like the hard to get men.    It also doesn't falsely get the hopes up too high of the women in case things don't work out which will happen with most, if not all, of the women you're visiting.

Not sure if somebody already flamed you for this...  But ...  When I traveled 6,000 miles to meet my (now) wife.  I was not going to see her "as a friend."  I made it clear I am visiting ONLY for the possibility of a long term, permanent relationship.  Marriage was my goal and I made it perfectly clear those were my intentions in the long run.

I have plenty of friends.  I wanted my soul mate.

I know some others have picked on you in other threads...  I'm not picking on you...  Just stating that I don't agree with this statement.

As for being "hard to get"...  Come on Billy...  we are going TO RUSSIA to find a woman.  That's not "hard to get."  I think it's better to simply be confident and somehow convey that we are going to Russia out of choice and not need is a better approach.  This will be acheived by correctly answering some questions she asks about your past relationships.  (and SHE WILL ask - in her own way)

To the OP - Enjoy your time in Russia!  Not sure if others gave you this advice  already - but there is nothing wrong with connecting with one of the women and spending most of your time with just one.  It's nice you have a backup plan but a good woman will appreciate being the focus of your visit.

- FWIW - Maxxum

[MaxxumUSA]

I know the question sounds strange but damn!!!  I'm about to take my first trip there in April.  Got my air tickets yesterday to Dnepro and now have these huge butterflies in my stomach!!  Asking myself, what the heck am I doing??  Is this normal?? 

JJ,

I think I am the only man on this board who has admitted being SO nervous before flying.  I made myself vomiting sick I was so nervous.  My very first visit to Russia I DID NOT find the forums yet.  I talked with my (now) wife for 3-5 days on skype and had plane tickets and visa in hand within a week.  We talked for three weeks while we both counted down my flight time.

Here's the kicker:  5 days until I flew up until the very day I flew I was EXTREMELY NERVOUS!  I am a desert storm vet and the feeling was the same before engaging in battle.  I could not eat very good and for that matter was not even holding food down all that well either.  I had never known any russian person personally and about 99% of my knowledge came from Elena's Models Elena's e-book entitled "How to marry a girl like me."  If you read that book you will understand how much I was missing by not being on a forum.

Basically I tell you this because I want you to know that you are not alone at being nervous.  Oh my...  As a matter of fact I visited her a total of 4 times last year.  I was nervous and puking the first 3 visits.  It was only the fourth visit that I was actually able to relax and get rest on the airplane.

I digress to add:  I still don't understand how people can wait SO long to get on an airplane.  (not sure how long it toook you JJ)  I had tickets a few days after meeting my woman online.  I can understand waiting a few weeks to make plans,  but how do people talk for months and months before making travel plans?  Just curious.

[Turboguy]

Maxxum,  First off it is refreshing to see someone disagree with the thinking of another and expressing it in the way things should be expressed.   It is nice to see someone differing with the ideas and attacking those ideas while still showing respect for the person.   My hat is off to you.

As far as the ideas you differ on I am smack dab in the middle.  I have had times in my letter writing days where I wrote something like I wanted to start as friends and hoped it would turn into the special relationship I dreamed of and that without friendship first you could never have real love.  Still I do see your side and we are all wanting something way beyond friendship.

I do think some women are more attracted to hard to get me and some men are more attracted to hard to get women.  I do agree that is why we go there, good women are easier to get. 

Like I said.  I am in the middle and see both sides of it.  I think you are both right.

[duplantisjj]

Thanks again for great tips.  I been searching the board for TRs on people that have been to Dnepr.  Interesting reading!  And Taz, that JD sounds like the exact type of WM that gives us all a bad rep.  But good story and damn I feel sorry for the poor ladies involved.

Also, regarding Alaska.  Actually in Anchorage the male/female ratio is not too far off.  Where the problems hit are out in the rural villages and towns.  I have heard many stories from the villages, re: AM and what the un-informed called "Mail Order Brides."  In those small villages, you may have 200 people out of which maybe 30% female.  Some places have no running water and there's usually one little store. So there's bound to be friction out there and sometimes people got killed senselessly out there.  In Anchorage, it's like any other winter type big city in the US.  I think the folks in the mid-west have worse winters than us in Anchorage.  But, yeah, I think just when you tell the RW/UW Alaska, they have images of Snow, igloos, and those sweet little white bears...    I have a nice house and a yard that has green grass that needs to be cut many times over the summer.  Of course at the moment we are having a high today of 9 deg........

[BillyB]

Not sure if somebody already flamed you for this... 

Actually I did get flamed but things got erased including my response and some clarification on the issue. Do you think a woman wants an easy to get man who'd propose on his first visit or one that shows restraint and will get to know the woman thoroughly before proposing. Also, do you think a woman wants a man with no options when it comes to women? No, they want a man in demand, who has his act together and that is an attractive mate for most women. They don't want someone who has little to choose from who'd throw himself at her to get married. There's usually a reason a man has little options when it comes to women. If duplant shows desperation to get married, those women will sniff it out. If he's the only one in pursuit and chooses a woman that does not pursue him because he's easy to get, then certainly he will be walked on most of his life. If women feel he's a catch and "hard to get" because he has choices in his life, they will actually respect him although they may act otherwise and play hardball by telling him to make a choice now or simply they'll exit stage. Maybe most men here have never experienced the feeling of a woman chasing after him? I have and I won't settle for less. Maybe I communicate with these women differently but I have not had the rejection that others say will happen when communicating with more than one RW. Heck, my ex wanted to get back together with me when I was going out with another RW. But what do I know? I've only had 3 straight relationships with 3 very different RW since 1998 and my views on RW can be confusing or wrong to some who's only experienced one RW.

Maxxum, It would be decieving if duplant told each woman he wants a serious relationship with them. They already know he's looking for a soul mate but he should state he's visiting as a friend first, no need to apply additional promises until after he meets all 3 of them.

[KenC]

Right before you visit, tell each of the ladies you are visiting as a friend. They like the hard to get men.    It also doesn't falsely get the hopes up too high of the women in case things don't work out which will happen with most, if not all, of the women you're visiting.

I respectfully disagree with the above given advice.  Let me explain why:

Right before you visit, tell each of the ladies you are visiting as a friend.  This seems misleading and very unfair to the ladies if it is a change in direction from the previous correspondence.  As pointed out by Maxxium and others, duplantisjj should make his true intentions known, not play games with the women.  RW detest games.  Honest communication of honest intentions are the best way to go.

They like the hard to get men.
As I now have the benefit of Billy's newly expanded definition of "hard to get" as a man that has options, I still see this tactic as gamesmenship.  To play one woman off of another is not cool in my book.  While it is true that any woman, Russian, or otherwise is attracted to confident men, no one appreciates getting "played."  I would think that the women in Billy's scenario, of being only one of many, is disrespectful to the individual woman and a sure turn off to them.

It also doesn't falsely get the hopes up too high of the women in case things don't work out which will happen with most, if not all, of the women you're visiting.
  I would think that having the women interested and excited about your arrival would be a good thing.  To promote such a false front of casual interest would be counter productive in my mind.  As long as the intentions are sincere there is only good to gain from the ladies excitement.  If there is no hope, why even bother?
KenC

[MaxxumUSA]

Maxxum, It would be decieving if duplant told each woman he wants a serious relationship with them. They already know he's looking for a soul mate but he should state he's visiting as a friend first, no need to apply additional promises until after he meets all 3 of them.

I agree with a lot of your post about the "hard to get" type man.  I think where I disagree with you is a simple matter of symantecs and word choice.  I think you are saying to project - either naturally or otherwise - a confident demeanor.  I agree wholeheartedly with you in this.  You're right - a woman will not want a man who's only option is her.  Sounds strange in a way but it is spot on.

But...  I still disagree with the "I'm visiting you as a friend" line.  Sounds too ...  um...  platonic might be the word I'm looking for. Every time in my life when I have met a woman for the first time and we are talking/thinking relationship - the romance switch is on.  Of course friendship is an extremely important part of a relationship.  Matter of fact me and my wife are definitely best friends and both of us call each other best friend often.  But damnit - I want to be the man that makes my woman's toes curl!  I want to be the man that does that thing that drives her wild.  And vise versa.  Like I said before - I have many friends.  But those friends are not what I want when I want to have a crazy evening - without leaving the house.

Of course my thinking on this subject is based on my belief that great sex is one of the most important parts of a successful relationship.  And one important part of great sex is sexual tension.  Having a woman think you might be visiting other women may or may not increase sexual tension depending on the woman.  But telling her you are visiting only as a friend in my mind has only one direction to take that sexual tension - DOWN.  The goal should be on increasing that sexual tension with women.  I'm not saying the goal is to have sex with all 3 women.  But creating that sexual tension will help you decide which one out of the three you really want - down deep inside.  Pun intended.

- Maxxum

BTW - I am NOT jumping on the pick on billyb band wagon - just stating my POV.

[Jumper]

duplantissjj-

You're worrying WAY too much.
and a feeling of anxiety or guilt is silly at best,at least  over some of the girls knowing you may visit another or bump into each other.

I've been to Cindy agencies office....
You wrote three women,not 100 from that agency...
they are signed up at marriage agency to met foriegn men, not forieign "man"
They hope to meet the *one* man ,
just like you hope to meet the "one" special person for you?
but they are pratical, pragmatic RW.
They signed up with the sole intention of being introduced to men,in hopes of marrage.
i guarantee you the more quality men they get to meet,the better.
if you think (in general) *she* dint meet a different man last week, or will happily meet another guy next week, or a local man,you are out of your flippin' skull.

a smart attractive RW in Dnepro, is not likely some spinster. 

A man ,in your position, doesn't need to worry about wether a woman,
 signed up with a local introduction agecy,
 would be offended if he is there to be introduced to RW,plural!
 it is an introduction agency afterall..?

and of course it is very smilar  to *great expecatations* ,or "its just lunch* agencies  in the USA,
where you, and forthat matte rany traviling  RW signing up for-
would ALSO likely be meet more than one person,In fact, expect to.
it's the whole idea and premnise?

unless you wrote in your letters something specific that you were coming to
visit only "her" , you have nothing to sweat-

When variuos posters take any RW 's *acceptence* of this scenerio,
 to  to mean the women are desperate ,or of less morals somehow ,
 it pisses me off.

How about a different view?
 how about she is just rational? (heaven forbid?)
it could be that a completely normal person ,
 recognizes the idea behind an introduction agency is to meet many people,
until two people *click*.

Most RW signed up with an agency like Cindy, simply follow
*dont ask dont tell*

you arn't asking them about their possible dates
this week or next right? (i hope not! )
 they arnt going to ask you about yours,
afterall its not polite,
 and its none of either of your business!!
until you have an established relationship.


its pretty simple.
and way too much is generally made out of it here ,
its not some chess game, or super secret method of "how to".

its common enough deal in society,
  there are several dating/introduction  agencies in my city of chicago?
church socials, etc..
and neither the men or women have any problem with how it works?


I did not meet my wife thru Cindy(although they
were a great help with her family ,and logistics)

but  i did meet several women from thier agency, some were even friends
with each other, and yes, knew i met  them both..
actually both of those had great jobs, higher professions with a good salary and nice flats, and did not have any problem with knowing an introduction was also made to their friend..they even joked lightheartedly about it.
I was interested at the time in both, they both were in me,, its just an introduction.
its not  nearly as big of deal as often made out to be here..

the women that dint know each other, would expect that they get to meet more than
one man, or hope to, and theyd think a man will meet more than one lady.
 Any  reasonably attractive, successful, smart  guy , is going to meet women each day in the cafe, at the store, or at the introduction agency if he's
signed up for one. same for women.


NOW! that said:
If you wrote some  single girl in dnepro , or chicago ,
and began an "email romance"
then yes!
 of course both women are hoping that you are coming to visit them, and only them.

This is far more romantic, and is the way some people feel is the only proper way,,
thats fine to! and yes any woman ,would like th esituation that her man  traveled acros continents for only "her", you have to respect the qualities in that as well.

but it's up to you from the start  ,to set this scenerio.
if you misled from the start ,there is no rosey way of getting around it.


if you dint, you have nothing at all to worry about.


me- i din't really write, and many here can understand perfectly why LOL!!
plus i'm a more,face to face ,,random chance kind of person..
 "hey!(ok privet!) what a  nice smile ...*wink*  followed by some other silliness or  flirting,  that  *she'll* eventuslly either want to go have lunch with me , or not!! (very possible LOL) her choice, but hey someone will !
 


mosty dont strss ,,
its supposed to be fun, and you need to relax and  be yourself as much as possible.

Dnepro,is a nice FSU city..just go enjoy yourself the cultue and experience,
if something works out with a woman you meet ,, great!
if you dont *click* with someone - accept that as well.
(just like you would if you flew into chicago, NYC, or dallas and did not ultimately marry some random woman , you were introduced to? )

Good Luck!


 

[Mishenka]

Interesting comments here,,,
 Key words like "friends"   as in lets be friends first"?  words like Options,, as in I have other options?  everyone has options, why state to obvious?  Phrases like " Hard to get"  showing this attitude in the presence of a RW seeking a serious relationship will get you dumped like a hot rock.  Once you show that you are impossible to please, or too picky,, they will conclude nothing will make you happy or satisfied.  How many personals have you ever seen that are looking for an "A" type personality?

They are looking for their "faithful"  "one and only"  " real love. They want to say "My man" because you belong only to her and no one else ) past present or future' in other words NEVER mention another female name unless its your daughter. Never mention a past relationship. Once you mention "her" that itself implies, you are not over her, and there is no RW who will share your heart with another woman. There is only room in your heart for one.   

How do you do it?  Start by treating her like she is the ONLY woman on Earth. She will treat you like You are the only man on Earth. Interesting how this works. you want faithful, be faithful, you want honesty, be honest.  You will get what you give ,, and by the same measure. Its pretty simple. you can not fool an RW, its not even possible, not face to face and not from 10,000 miles away, so, don't even try. Once she senses or feels distrust, its over and done, finished. If you show them any attitude that you are a player, you just added yourself to their black list.  You won't hear from or see them again.

The best advise anyone can give you is to " BE YOURSELF" 

[STINGER]

Well i am new here and was recommended by Beachcomber to have a look at it and found this site to be a bit fascinating and yet interesting in its own way. Everyone has an opinion and have experienced their own thing with the girls from Russia. Its interesting to read and see what what everyone went through or going through. Personally i have visited Odessa on a couple occasions and made the best of it. I did meet a wonderful lady which i am in touch with but on my first visit i did not her  till half way through my trip but during the time before that i just took it upon myself to go around and visit everything i could possibly visit and frequent the cafe's and met some great people. Not many spoke English but made big strides to talk to me. On some cases they noticed that i was not from there by noticing my cigarette pack or i guess because i looked a bit different from everyone there. Regardless i made the best of it and enjoyed everyones company along with some nice cognacs that went well.

As for the lady i have met we are still in touch with one another and i just got back from there but i must say my trip was not pleasant and mainly due to getting sick there and weather not being that great but otherwise it was a nice experience overall but they are certainly different as their culture is very different but being European i can see part of their culture and understand it to an extent. I still search for answers myself as to what i would like to do but my preference would be that she visit and come and see what its like being here and the lifestyle and that will give her a better perspective on things and then she also can decide and think if this is what she would like to be at and if the relationship is also what she would like to have that way we both can have a better idea if tats what we want and decide from there. She is a very nice lady and well preserved i must say and has also opened her heart and mind to my own ideas and some customs but the time i have spent is very little to a lifetime spent with someone and no matter how long sometimes can go either way but i would prefer to take the time and get a better idea as to what her thinking is and opinion and everything else involved. Time will tell and we will see where it does take us.

To those of you thinking about doing it, don't be scared go with an open mind and experience it yourself first and then decide if you think its for you and only you will be able to know what is it that you believe it is and decide from there.
Also don't be quick to judge everything has a beginning and also patients is a virtue and don't be quick to judge but test it and see what is and what is not.

 

Stinger

[MaxxumUSA]

Interesting comments here,,,
 Key words like "friends"   as in lets be friends first"?  words like Options,, as in I have other options?  everyone has options, why state to obvious?  Phrases like " Hard to get"  showing this attitude in the presence of a RW seeking a serious relationship will get you dumped like a hot rock.  Once you show that you are impossible to please, or too picky,, they will conclude nothing will make you happy or satisfied.  How many personals have you ever seen that are looking for an "A" type personality?

They are looking for their "faithful"  "one and only"  " real love. They want to say "My man" because you belong only to her and no one else ) past present or future' in other words NEVER mention another female name unless its your daughter. Never mention a past relationship. Once you mention "her" that itself implies, you are not over her, and there is no RW who will share your heart with another woman. There is only room in your heart for one.   

How do you do it?  Start by treating her like she is the ONLY woman on Earth. She will treat you like You are the only man on Earth. Interesting how this works. you want faithful, be faithful, you want honesty, be honest.  You will get what you give ,, and by the same measure. Its pretty simple. you can not fool an RW, its not even possible, not face to face and not from 10,000 miles away, so, don't even try. Once she senses or feels distrust, its over and done, finished. If you show them any attitude that you are a player, you just added yourself to their black list.  You won't hear from or see them again.

The best advise anyone can give you is to " BE YOURSELF" 

Very nice Mishenka...  Somewhat of what I was trying to get across.  It's nice to see I am somewhat on track with my thinking.

Speaking of which...  Good night. 

[KenC]

Interesting comments here,,,
 Key words like "friends"   as in lets be friends first"?  words like Options,, as in I have other options?  everyone has options, why state to obvious?  Phrases like " Hard to get"  showing this attitude in the presence of a RW seeking a serious relationship will get you dumped like a hot rock.  Once you show that you are impossible to please, or too picky,, they will conclude nothing will make you happy or satisfied.  How many personals have you ever seen that are looking for an "A" type personality?

They are looking for their "faithful"  "one and only"  " real love. They want to say "My man" because you belong only to her and no one else ) past present or future' in other words NEVER mention another female name unless its your daughter. Never mention a past relationship. Once you mention "her" that itself implies, you are not over her, and there is no RW who will share your heart with another woman. There is only room in your heart for one.   

How do you do it?  Start by treating her like she is the ONLY woman on Earth. She will treat you like You are the only man on Earth. Interesting how this works. you want faithful, be faithful, you want honesty, be honest.  You will get what you give ,, and by the same measure. Its pretty simple. you can not fool an RW, its not even possible, not face to face and not from 10,000 miles away, so, don't even try. Once she senses or feels distrust, its over and done, finished. If you show them any attitude that you are a player, you just added yourself to their black list.  You won't hear from or see them again.

The best advise anyone can give you is to " BE YOURSELF" 

Mishenka,
While I completely agree with your post after you find "the one" woman for you, how do you tone this thought process down if a man is going to meet more than one woman?  Or do you "tone it down" at all?
KenC

[Jumper]

mishenka said:

They are looking for their "faithful"  "one and only"  " real love

obviously? we all are!
 right?

I was ?
but i was expecting that *she* "the one"
 dated other men...and had met other people in her life?

if it was yesterday , or one week before, or 1 year before what would it matter?

After we met , is when things would matter to me ,not before.


i dont mind hopeless romantics choosing that singluar view and  path,
its rather nice!

I do mind when they pigeon hole anyone who just meets people..
instead of writing some long corespondence, as less romantic , or somehow morally inferior.

because it always becomes a matter of semantics?
 
if you met a different girl the day before you met that "one"
, thats somehow wrong,
also if  she met a  different foriegn man yesterday.. 
thats not ok...

but if it was a week ago , for either of you, will thats ok? or not?
probably not.
what about one month ago?
one year?
one decade?

 

when you meet, and things *click*,
there is plenty of time for romance, and for each to be their "one" ...?
whom they met or dint met, even yesterday,
, really isnt going to matter! to two people who really hit it off..
certainly not in the long run.

[Bart]

You know, I haven't told them I'm planning on meeting with others.  And of course I've not asked them if they have been corresponding with other guys.  I assume they have since the ladies I'm meeting are IMO some of the prettiest and smartest ladies on the Agency site.  Not sure how to handle this "walking on rice paper" situation.

Girls always know the guy is meeting multple girls.  At least the top ones know this.  They meet many guys trying to find the right match.  So of course they know the guys do this to.

But hey, once you find one you like, break your plans or future dates and stay with her.

[docetae]

Girls always know the guy is meeting multple girls.  At least the top ones know this.  They meet many guys trying to find the right match.  So of course they know the guys do this to.

But hey, once you find one you like, break your plans or future dates and stay with her.

I have met the worst situation.. Translator in agency was the cousin of the woman I was going to meet and second woman I wanted to meet was the sister of the first meeting planned. I told the truth and she liked that. I dated her during one year and half, we stopped our relation but that was good experience.

[duplantisjj]

Thanks guys!  I been up on the North Slope for a few weeks and just checking through here and seeing great advice.  My trip is scheduled, apartment reserved, tickets are non-refundable so, I'm definitely gonna go and enjoy.  Been through hours and hours of Pimsleur but you know, practicing a language and actually using it are two different birds.

I'm not sure how but will try and be as tactful as I can and hope that the girls I'm visiting aren't all related.  The only thing that keeps nagging my mind is that all of them want to spend time with me going to museums and walking along the Dnepr river.  So.......maybe I'll get to see the same museum 3 times...   One of them is even asking for arrival information, which I'm guessing she may be thinking about surprising me at the airport.  So, at this point I have only told one of them my actual time of arrival.  Don't really want to come out of customs with 3 girls standing there looking at me.    But really, I am serious in my search and will hope that one of the three is "the one" and I believe we'll both know it when it happens.  Then I'll have to cross the next bridge when it comes.  And above all else, the main mission is to have a good time in a different country.