How do you guys do it!!!

[Ronnie]

Oy, oy, JJ.

You could have planned this thing better.  I've been there and done that.  After a failed WOVO, I decided to do WMVM and that was a bigger problem.

KenC says to be honest.  Well, you can but you'll suffer dire consequences.  When I did the WMVM thing in one city (Poltava), I decided to be totally honest and explain upon my first meeting with the ladies that I had arranged other meetings.  They all felt insulted and didn't find my honesty refreshing.  None wanted to meet for a second date.  As I sat in the agency wondering what happened the owner said somberly,  "You never, ever want to tell a lady you are meeting others after you wrote to them.  You were wrong to be honest...hard to say it, but you made a big mistake"

Later, I decided to WNVM and found it to be much more confortable.  I did have one experience in Dnepr where I had been walking in the Shevchenko park with one lady when a very attractive lady passed by and we made eye contact.  I knew her from her photo and I had a meeting with her in an hour.  She didn't know me then but when we met in the agency she immediately recognized me as the man in the park walking with another lady.  She declined to go out with me citing my lack of "seriousness".

If you must write before going, the best course is to select one lady from different cities.  Learn to ride the train.  I even had to take the train to Kiev to disguise that I was actually going to another nearby city.  The lady accompanied me to the train station - probably wanted to verify I was leaving town as I said I was.

You can also just have the ladies come to Kyiv and you can meet there.  You may need to change apartments frequently and then get on the bus to Borispol leaving from the central train station where she will see you off.  Don't let her ride the bus to the airport or the jig will be up.  Make sure her train leaves before or at the same time as your "flight". 

If this all seems deceptive and dishonest, well, what can I say?.. the honest approach is not appreciated.  UWs tend to appreciate cleverness more than honesty.

[Gator]

Ronnie wrote,

KenC says to be honest.  Well, you can but you'll suffer dire consequences.  When I did the WMVM thing in one city ... I decided to be totally honest and explain upon my first meeting with the ladies that I had arranged other meetings.

Honest? YES. "Total honesty" including volunteering the situation with other women? NO.

I agree with you that RW do not want to hear about other women.  Most are smart enough not to ask, knowing that they may not like the answer.

I disagree with you about how you suggest to manage the situation.  You make it sound as if at first you went blah, blah, blah when talking about other women.  Then your pendulum swung so far that you lied to women, and went to great pain to masquerade your departures and arrivals.   Either approach is total nonsense.  You are a happily married man, yet I wonder if your wife is one of those you deceived.

NEWBIES - Remember the following words:

If a RW asks about other women, answer honestly with a "yes" or "no", no elaboration.  If she asks a follow up question, say "I am not here to discuss other women, I am here to learn more about you.  Now tell me please about your family." 

[Ronnie]

Ronnie wrote,
Honest? YES. "Total honesty" including volunteering the situation with other women? NO.

I agree with you that RW do not want to hear about other women.  Most are smart enough not to ask, knowing that they may not like the answer.

I disagree with you about how you suggest to manage the situation.  You make it sound as if at first you went blah, blah, blah when talking about other women.  Then your pendulum swung so far that you lied to women, and went to great pain to masquerade your departures and arrivals.   Either approach is total nonsense.  You are a happily married man, yet I wonder if your wife is one of those you deceived.

NEWBIES - Remember the following words:

If a RW asks about other women, answer honestly with a "yes" or "no", no elaboration.  If she asks a follow up question, say "I am not here to discuss other women, I am here to learn more about you.  Now tell me please about your family." 

I never lied outright.  I may have given a false impression that I was returning to the states when in fact all I said was I had to leave.  The lady was then left to assume what she wanted.  You are correct, they never seemed to ask questions, the answer to which they may not have wanted to hear.

As to my wife, no, I never lied to her though she's not happy that I didn't keep her fully imformed of my activities while I was engaged in my search.  But again, that was not any of her business at that time.  She, on the other hand did lie to me when she said she was not corresponding with anyone else.  It doesn't bother me as all is fair in love and war.

FSU women are very insecure and competitive with each other.  If they feel there is competition they'd rather withdraw from the race than risk losing.

[Gator]

Ronnie,

I appreciate the clarification, and your honesty. 

I am sure you wife says she did not lie - "Ronnie, you misunderstood what I was saying; that happens for two people with language and cultural differences." 

And misunderstandings do happen even though both the man and woman have good intentions.