Turboguy's K1 Ordeal

[Turboguy]

Turbo,

Congrtulations, I was very happy to read that Luda's visa was in her hands... I wish you two the very best. I was also happy to see that your relationship with Luda was able to weather this storm. I'm sure it won't be the last but the two of you seem to really want it to work. Again, best wishes!!!!!!

bbernard

We did fine.  We had a little problem the day after the interview when she got into her feeling she was unlucky and that it was not her fate to be with me mode and then after that I think the things we went through brought us even closer together.   Nine days from right now we will be walking off the plane in Pittsburgh.   I am flying to Atlanta to meet her and returning to Pittsburgh with her.

I think we will have some adjusting to do.  I see different people have different feelings about how it is going.   Son of clyde seems to think it is going ok, not as good as it could be not too bad, Voyager seems to feel his life is about as wonderful as it could be with his gal.   I think mine will be a combination.   It may have some bumps in the road but we will be so happy to be together that we will think is is totally wonderful.   We will see.  I am totally committed to making it work and building a great life with her and I think she will do all she can.   She has her faults but she is really a terrific gal.   Thanks again for all the good wishes.

I have not mentioned to Luda that our company picnic is a few days after she arrives.   Luda only eats two things  MacDonalds and Shushlick.   The gals in my office got all excited because they searched the internet and found a recepie for authenitc Russian Shushlick.   They are thrilled that they are going to be able to make it for her at the picnic and will make extra for anyone else that wants to try it there.   Luda is very nervous about meeting people here because of her limited English.   I think as long as I can get her to the picnic it will be a great start for her.   I think she will see that she is accepted and that people want to help her.

[Jet]

Just a quick update for those who are wondering...

Robert and Irena DID get the visa after submitting a mountain of supporting evidence directly to the AG. Unfortunately, things went from bad to worse during the time they were together waiting. This had little to do with the added stress caused by the Embassy, and much more to do with issues of mental health and honesty on Irena's part. The end result was that Robert is back home, alone, and in possession of the "sealed brown envelope". Irena is back at her flat in Moscow holding an Intl passport with a K-1/K-2 visa that has been rendered useless by means of a black permanent marker :?.

[RacerX]

Well hopefully this lays to rest all the anxiety over that mysterious Hispanic CO, since all of the visas we know about were eventually granted - and apparently without uncalled for congressional meddling.

Jet: any chance you could go into a little more detail?  Not asking about whether Robert decided his fiancee was not who she represented herself to be, but more as to why he took the brown envelope and defaced her passport.  In some ways, I remember a thought jb expressed earlier - something to the extent that maybe the CO saw something and was doing them both a favor!

[andrewfi]

Kinda makes one wonder does it not...

[Jet]

I don't want to lay out the entire story as I've been living it day to day for a number of months and quite frankly, I'm tired of discussing it.

I will say that in the course of this last visit (his 4th IIRC) he discovered a LARGE amount of USD stashed in her apartment that was sent over for specific purposes which it had obviously not been used for. This find was innocent and accidental, he was not snooping. He was made aware of Irena's daughter's tendancies toward violent rage (she's 11) and certain shocking acts of physical abuse of her mother (to the point of police getting involved). Irena seems to suffer from some sort of manic depression and/or psychosis which she had masked fairly well on prior, shorter trips.

I had some very large misgivings about this relationship starting @ 60 days ago, as did my wife and Irena's friend (their interpreter). Robert was warned by all three of us, but wanted to be "absolutely sure" he wasn't throwing away a good relationship because of some bad misunderstandings. He gave Irena A LOT more rope than any of us would have, and in the end she hung herself with it .

He's understandably broken up over the fact that things didn't work out, but he is smart enough to understand that things would have been MUCH worse, if she had come here. when he defaced the visas, she was standing there with him, and understood what was happening, and that she had caused it. The significance of the envelope is that it contains his ORIGINAL i-129f petition and the results of her medical exam. This way, he knows that it is done and that his responsibility for her well being is terminated even if she should decide to try to "sneak" into the US at some later point. He is merely protecting himself.

[Turboguy]

It is really sad to see someone go through all the things they have and then see it fall apart.   I do have a feeling though that in this case it is probably the best thing that could have happened.    Hopefully Robert will find someone who will be the right person for him and hopefully Irina might start to deal with some things that she really needs to deal with.   Thanks for the update on the situation.

[wxman]

That is a sad story and I wish all of them the best. Sounds like Robert is a strong person and will get through this. I hope Irena and her daughter can also get over this. I know mental disease is very hard disease to treat. My brother married a woman with bi polar disorder and she masked it quite well until they were married. It was very hard for everyone and in the end it ended in divorce.  We can only hope for the best for all 3 and hope that Irena and her daughter will be ok.

[Wayne]

I was married to a bi-polar American woman for 17 years, so I know just how difficult it is.  We had 4 children together and I stayed in the married so long for their sake.

Turbo, if you read my post you can see what a problem Oksana had at the embassy in Moscow today.  We all need to get together to do something about the staff in Moscow.

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.  I really do trust Oksana and believe our love is strong enough to get through the next three months.

 

 

[Michelangelo]

Well hopefully this lays to rest all the anxiety over that mysterious Hispanic CO, since all of the visas we know about were eventually granted - and apparently without uncalled for congressional meddling.

I just talked to an old girlfriend of mine from Russia....she got her visa and was interviewed by our infamous Hispanic CO.

If it's the same guy, he is actually originally from Brazil, and has some Inca features, not hispanic.   His name is Michael--she remembers that becasue of me.

He was not friendly at all--but she charmed him by talking about Brazil and her trip there.  She also speaks perfect English, which might have helped, too.

Anyway, maybe it's the same guy.  And if it is, tell your girls to know a lot about Brazil in case they get him...it can't hurt

[Sonar]

I'm new here so I tend to read a lot of old threads as well as recent ones. After reading about some of these K1 nightmares that some guys experience, I have a question and a comment.

I was seriously involved with a Russian girl from near Moscow for three years. From 7/00 until 9/03 when I brought her here to South Florida on a K1. During this period I would travel to Moscow about every 3 or 4 months and spend 2 weeks with her. I was involved in an ongoing divorce litigation with my x that took almost 4 years to settle. ( The attorneys loved it). So I could not file for the K1 until my divorce became final in July '02.

Since the regional immigration center for the state of Florida is in Texas, my application was at the back of the line behind a few hundred thousand Mexicans. But after almost 14 months it was approved and sent to Moscow.

My girl was very excited about it and well prepared for the interview. She spoke perfect English and our age difference was only 15 years. So I did not anticipate any problems.

The morning of the interview was a cold and rainy mid September, gloomy, nasty day. Very typical of Moscow that time of year. Anyway, we arrived at the embassy at 9:00 AM and took our place in the line. I noticed that the guys ahead of me were not being allowed to enter the embassy and the same for me when it was our turn to enter. I read some posts here that indicate that some guys were present during the interview. Has this changed and are guys now allowed to be present for the interview?

OK here is my comment about this ordeal.

I ended up standing outside the embassy for 3 hours in the rain. Not a problem. Like I said, my girl was very excited and was almost jumping up and down when she was finally allowed in for the interview. We had planned for this for 3 years and finally it was happening. When she finally came out at noon time, the look on her face made me thing that something had gone wrong. She was no longer happy and excited. My first thoughts were that we had been rejected.

She told me that she had been granted the visa and that it would be delivered to her in 3 days by DSL. So at this point I became a little confused about why she was no longer happy and excited but seemed rejected. When I questioned her about what happened in the interview this is what she told me. In her words:

"The man (meaning the CO) was sometimes nice and sometimes very rude. He said that life in the US is very difficult for a Russian woman and that I should be very carefull. He said that such a beautiful Russian woman would be much happier in Russia."

That was basically all that I could get out of her but she mentioned that they also discussed my pervious marriage and divorce that took almost 4 years to litigate. To be honest, I really don't know what the hell they talked about. But I do know that she was not the same woman after the interview and she had a lot of questions about my ex-wife.

During my divorce, I was hauled into court hearings at least once a month for four years. There were no allegations of domestic violence since my 12 years of marriage never involved that kind of thing. The major disagreement was over my contracting company. They wanted 1.5 million dollars for her share of a company that had only about 100k in liquid assets. Something about future good will made them value my company at 3m. Their grounds were the 'one size fits all mental cruelty' crap, since I bitched at her a couple of times for outrageous credit card spending. I was also charged with contempt of court no less than 30 times for any reason they could come up with. Each time it was dismissed. I was paying $4800 per month in alimony and child support for 2 kids. If the payment were 2 days late==Contempt of court.

They knew that I was traveling to Moscow 3 or 4 times per year and it was pointless to try to hide it. I was questioned about it many times in court and they refused to accept the fact that I was traveling there to be with my fiancee'. I was portrayed as being some kind of frivolous woman chaser which was absolutely not the case. I only traveled there to be with one woman who I intended to marry.

 

Anyway, my thoughts are that during the interview, my ex and the 4 year divorce fiasco were probably the main topic of discussion. I have no criminal background, no DV accusations and absolutely no history of violence. Only a couple of traffic tickets and that rediculious 'mental cruelty' thing. But the K1 interview wrecked my relationship. I brought her here but it didn't last long and I had to send her home. She was just not the same woman as before the interview.

[BC]

Sonar,

I think your post warrants it's own thread.

Surely if this all was new information to her during the interview it might have raised some concerns as to why you did not let her in on the problems you were having with the ex which (if I read your timing right) was going on at the same time as you were dating her.

Going into a new relationship with baggage from the old one hanging around may have soured her thinking.  Unless you are very wealthy the monthly check for that alimony/child support figure must be quite a burden.. maybe she saw it that way too.. especially if your 'style' was financially cramped after her arrival.

A lot of guessing here so don't beat me if I'm totally off base.

In any case it's over or?.. why pick old wounds now?

[Sonar]

Bc, thanks for your thoughts. I suppose that maybe I should clear this issue a little more. I'm not trying to pick old wounds really. Sure it's over. I've moved on and I'm involved with someone new. I just dread going through this K1 process again. Especially after reading about some of the other problems that guys are experiencing in Moscow.

Just to better explain, she was made aware of the divorce problems that I was having. Nothing was kept secret. No I would not consider myself wealthy but I had no problems supporting my kids along with my x's alimony. At the time I was even supporting my girl in Russia along with her family.

I just feel that whoever interviewed her in Moscow, made a special effort to discourage her. Maybe I'm right or maybe I'm wrong, I don't know.

I think that the US Consulate in Moscow is way out of line with some of their tactics of trying to uncover dirt that does not exist. Seems to me that it should be nothing more than a process to determine if she quailfys for a K1 or not. It should not be a psycological examination or a marriage counseling session.

It's funny how here in S.Florida and many other places in the US, Mexicans and almost all Hispanics are welcomed with open arms. Whether they are legal or not. A Mexican with legal immigration status in the US has a much easier process in bringing his girl here from Mexico than an American man has in bringing his girl from Russia.

I would like to know why are American men not allowed to be present during the interview process in Moscow? In my case it would have prevented a huge misunderstanding. Anyone know the answer to this?

Sonar,

I think your post warrants it's own thread.

Surely if this all was new information to her during the interview it might have raised some concerns as to why you did not let her in on the problems you were having with the ex which (if I read your timing right) was going on at the same time as you were dating her.

Going into a new relationship with baggage from the old one hanging around may have soured her thinking.  Unless you are very wealthy the monthly check for that alimony/child support figure must be quite a burden.. maybe she saw it that way too.. especially if your 'style' was financially cramped after her arrival.

A lot of guessing here so don't beat me if I'm totally off base.

In any case it's over or?.. why pick old wounds now?

[BC]

Sonar,

I was not even allowed to be with my wife when we applied for her US tourist visa..

I guess they want the applicant to be able to stand on their own.. I remember way back when some wives would come to their husbands employment interviews.. just awful.. never hired one of em.

Fact is though she did make it through the interview and that's that.  I think the CO's can pretty much ask what they want to establish the sincerity and validity of the request and there is not much that can be done about it except complain higher up.. Of course quite difficult to complain about an approval.

Pinning a failed K1 on the CO's questions is a bit 'weak' imho..  Who knows what actually transpired during the interview..  I'd be looking elsewhere for the answer. 

Other than the 'change' in attitude, what did she say afterwards about your ex situation?

[Bruce]

When JB finds this thread again I think he may have a good answer, or if not, a really logical guess. 

I do not want to start another thread of racist rantings.  However, ever since 1966, when immigration from Arab countries, South America, Africa and South Asia was favored into law, the face of the USA has radically begun to change.  For good or for worse, we are effected by these changes daily.  The face of the immigration officer your K-1 Russian fiance sees in the US embassy may not, and often has not been close to European looking.  Could the CO have racist leanings against Europeans, and Russians in particular?  I do not think it is outside of the realm of possibility.  The US is becomming less and less of a melting pot and more an more of a salad.  Do the ingredients in the salad even blend together anymore?   That is a separate discussion.

Everyone knows there is over 1 million illegal Mexicans pouring into the USA every year.   If anything, they are encouraged to keep on crossing the border illegally.  I can not figure out why we are not first warning them and then shooting them as they attempt to cross into the USA illegally.  Killing a bunch of them would tend to slow down illegal immigration. 

Europe is just not a favored place for our immigrant policy.  Russia is still backwardly thought of as a cold war enemy by many in government positions.  

Why can not American men accompany their K-1 fiance to the interview?  Perhaps some American men threatened the CO just by their presence.  Perhaps a real incident occurred some years past. 

My wife's experience with her interview in Moscow was very favorable.  She spoke fluent English and had a white male CO.  However, he did ask alot of personal questions about me which actually suprised me when I heard what the questions were.  My wife's  interview also took longer than I thought it would.  Some women are just asked one or two questions.  Others have a very long interview.  How long the couple knew each other or the age difference between applicant and prospective husband does not seem to really matter much.  Does having a male or female interviewer make a difference, probably.  Is there luck involved in the process.  Most certainly.  In any event, the K-1 interview itself seems to have gotten harder since September 11. 

I have posted it once and I still believe we as a group need to somehow do our best to change our immigration policy.  My State's representatives do not echo my beliefs at all - so New York is a zero for my views.  However, there are other representatives out there who could make a difference.  Perhaps we could write them. 

Sonar, the only disconnect I see is that although a CO could have had a tremendous psychological impact on the day of your previous k-1's interview, its hard for me to believe that one 30 minute to one hour encounter could ruin your relationship, especially since she made it Stateside.  However, I do agree that the CO should not attempt to sabotage a guys relationship for whatever reason.  They should have set questions and stick to them. 

[Sonar]

 

Sonar, the only disconnect I see is that although a CO could have had a tremendous psychological impact on the day of your previous k-1's interview, its hard for me to believe that one 30 minute to one hour encounter could ruin your relationship, especially since she made it Stateside.  However, I do agree that the CO should not attempt to sabotage a guys relationship for whatever reason.  They should have set questions and stick to them. 

Bruce, all that I'm saying is that the seeds of doubt were planted during the interview. Did this ultimately result in our relationship being ruined? I don't know the answer to that.

Most Russian women who have never been out of the country are very much naive about everything western. They really have no idea about how the American family law system operates and a divorce case such as mine can easily be portrayed as something out of the ordinary, although it is not.

99% of American women that file for divorce, do so with some type of abuse claim. When nothing else works, the good old 'mental abuse' trick is always there to take up the slack. In my case, cutting up my x's credit cards after a $20,000 (nothing to show for it) debt was paid off, was a form of mental abuse.

My guess is that at the interview the conversation could have gone something llike this: "Do you know that this man is guilty of mental abuse in his prior marriage?"

To a Russian woman that was indeed abused by her former Russian husband, I'm sure that it would seem like some horrible crime had been committed on my part.

In most states and especially here in Florida, every man who has ever been married is guilty of some type of mental abuse in the eyes of the family law legal system.

 

[KenC]

Sonar,

Do you have any idea how weak you sound?  To put any blame for your failed engagement on a clerk at the embassy is total bull, and more than a bit self serving don't ya think?  I also think you pulled that "99% of AW" claim abuse "fact" out of your butthole too.  Maybe your engagement didn't work because of something you did or didn't do? Or maybe you just weren't the right man for her?  Take some responsiblity for your life!  Be a man!

KenC

[Turboguy]

Since we are in my thread, I will throw my two cents with.  First, I don't agree with Ken.  I don't see any way you were not being a man and accepting the responsibilty.

With Luda, about a month before the intereview she watched a program about sex slaves that scared her to death.   I almost lost her then which in retrospect would have been the best thing that could have happened.   For a couple of weeks we were touch and go, despite the fact I had been seeing her every 6 weeks for up to two weeks at a time.  

I am sure everyone has nagging doubts about leaving their friends and family, uprooting their life and going where they will be alone and almost friendless.  I think the comments just brought those doubts to the surface.  She was at the last point she could change her mind.  She did. It happens.

As far as the interview itself, I have heard tales of hundreds of interviews.  I have never heard anything like that befoe.  The odds of it happening again are not real good. 

As far as why the men are not allowed in, I have to say that if I were doing the interview I would not want the man there.   They want to talk to the woman and see how strong her commitment is.  If there is a problem they would have to deal with an upset American man and that is something they probably want to avoid.  Some embassies allow both there.  Moscow doesn't    I too stood outside but in August the weather was good.  I am glad you have found someone new.  I hope you are happy.  Maybe I have found someone new too.  It is too early to say for sure.

[Sonar]

Sonar,

Do you have any idea how weak you sound?  To put any blame for your failed engagement on a clerk at the embassy is total bull, and more than a bit self serving don't ya think?  I also think you pulled that "99% of AW" claim abuse "fact" out of your butthole too.  Maybe your engagement didn't work because of something you did or didn't do? Or maybe you just weren't the right man for her?  Take some responsiblity for your life!  Be a man!

KenC

I'm not blaming anybody for anything. Just stating a circumstance. And yes, maybe my engagement did not work because of something I did or didn't do. I never denied that and I'm definately not crying over spilled milk. None of that matters to me.

I'm simply stating that in my case the CO stuck his nose into places that it did not belong!!!!

It's funny but I expected a response like yours. There's one in every crowd.

Check out the statistics on how the tern 'mental abuse' is applied in almost any divorce proceeding when the man does not bow to the court system. I'm not saying that this is something that all AW dream up, but every damn divorce lawyer in town uses it whenever possible. If you misunderstood what I meant by that statement there is pleanty of documentation around to back it up.

[andrewfi]

Unless the consular official was some kind of mesmer he could have done nothing except to awaken issues that were already present but perhaps dormant. It is a shame that youwere unable to deal with them before leaving for the USA, given that you knew of them straight away. On the up side the woman returned back to her home and you and she are not stuck in a joyless marriage. Realistically, whatever happened as a direct result of her interview would have happened anyway. You should thank the CO for doing your job for you.

[Admin]

SUGGESTION:

Maybe someone can start a new topic - with a poll - which ASKS about the experiences of the guys in terms of; 1) which Embassy conducted the interview, 2) did the sponsor (the guy) accompany the lady, 3) were they allowed to be present at the interview, and 4) what were the results ---- or something like that.

The reason I would be curious is that I was not only allowed to be with Olya during the interview (in Warsaw), I was the one who the interviewer posed the most questions to. It was, probably, quite unusual - and no doubt, the fact that I was there and spoke Russian and translated for them - was also unusual - but nonetheless, it would be interesting to see how, if at all, things have changed not that interviews are conducted in Kyiv instead of Warsaw (for Ukrainian citizens).

- Dan

[Sonar]

Since we are in my thread, I will throw my two cents with.  First, I don't agree with Ken.  I don't see any way you were not being a man and accepting the responsibilty.

Thanks Turboguy, I'm not trying to hijack your thread but I found it to be very interesting reading this morning. I only brought up my experience in Moscow after reading about the Brazillian CO that seems to be a problem for some guys. I started to wonder if maybe this guy was the one that interviewed my girl.

As I said earlier, I don't know exactly what caused the problem. But I do know that there was absolutely no problem until after the interview. And I do know that they had a lengthy discussion about my divorce. My girl suddenly developed a case of 'cold feet' I guess.

As far as being a man and accepting responsibility, I really don't know where this guy Ken comes from with that.

I brought her here, it didn't work, I sent her home, I moved on. Really not much more to say about it than that.

Since I'll probably be in the K1 process again next year, I'm just preparing for any surprises. Thanks for your advice and comment.

[Sonar]

Unless the consular official was some kind of mesmer he could have done nothing except to awaken issues that were already present but perhaps dormant. It is a shame that youwere unable to deal with them before leaving for the USA, given that you knew of them straight away. On the up side the woman returned back to her home and you and she are not stuck in a joyless marriage. Realistically, whatever happened as a direct result of her interview would have happened anyway. You should thank the CO for doing your job for you.

That's a pretty broad stroke of the brush considering that at the time there were no issues. And I really don't need a CO to determine what job needs to be done for me.

All I expect the CO to do is determine if she qualifys for the visa or not. As I said earlier, psycological evaluations and marriage counseling are not part of their responsibility as far as I know.

[Admin]

Check out the statistics on how the tern 'mental abuse' is applied in almost any divorce proceeding when the man does not bow to the court system. I'm not saying that this is something that all AW dream up, but every damn divorce lawyer in town uses it whenever possible. If you misunderstood what I meant by that statement there is pleanty of documentation around to back it up.

Sonar,

KenC is actually a GREAT guy - and you will come to learn that in the days ahead.

It sounds like you have been through a horrible ordeal - so please allow me to commiserate - just a bit.

Yesterday, I finished my 8th day in trial court. These have been spread out with 5 days in October - one day last week, and two days this week.

All this was on post-decree matters with my ex-wife with whom I have been divorced for more than 5 years. We share 3 sons - now aged 5, 10, and 14.

My ex-wife was successful in 2004 with being granted a favorable decision from the courts - for reasons I still do not understand. That decision is under appeal - and based on information gathered this past week, I am anxious for the appellate decision as it will almost certainly rule in our favor - and then we can go back to the trial court with newly-discovered evidence.

Anyway - my ex sought to have me incarcerated for punitive contempt (called criminal contempt in other states) - and later, for remedial contempt.

After 4 days of trial, the judge found her testimony to be (verbatim): "deceptive and misleading" and "not worthy of belief." He refused to find me in contempt (punitive or remedial) on any significant issue.

Next, the ex had been granted an ex-parte judgment based on some of that "deceptive and misleading" information she had provided the courts - so we filed a request for the judge to hear the other side and grant relief from judgement. After extremely contentious testimony - the judge ruled that the judgement "should have been vacated, is vacated, and will remain vacated."

A notable fact is that my ex's attorney, during closing on that matter, expressed his understanding of the Colorado statutes insofar as what should be, and what should not be, considered for purposes of child support calculations. He did so, because we had learned that my ex-wife failed to disclose information in the hearings a year ago which would have led to a substantially different outcome. In fact, it appears she may have submitted falsified documents during discovery - which means, if true, that she intentionally allowed the judge to rule on a case in which she knowingly failed to provide mandatory information - essentially, it represents her having perpetrated a fraud upon the courts, hence, my interest in the appellate decision and the revisiting of the 2004 decision.

So anyway - the next issue before the courts had to do with parenting time. Not going into all the details, the judge came back with a ruling that is quite complex - but it also increased my overall time with the children substantially.

Now we are on to the last point - which was to seek relief from the ridiculous decision of a year ago. After 8 days in trial court - we still did NOT finish - so we are now set again for mid-January and another (9th) day in trial court.

Even when that issue resolves in my favor - as I am absolutely certain it will - we still have the issue of the appeal and the previous year's decision to overcome, but this time armed with information she failed to disclose previously.

All the while, she has been VERY active with various governmental agencies seeking to place liens on my home, have my driver's license suspended, as mentioned earlier - have me incarcerated - and these are only a very few of the vicious and vindictive assaults - including a physical confrontation she provoked with Olya at our home in front of my sons.

So you see - there are, indeed, others who have suffered with mentally ill and deranged, hate-filled, vindictive persons.

And BTW - this is only one of 4 separate legal matters I have worked through in the past 4 years.

My point is - it could be worse. Let's both - or all (you and I and everyone else) who has suffered through this kind of garbage - let's all make a commitment to put it ALL behind us - take whatever lessons there are to be taken - and move forward toward building an optimistic and hope-filled future with the people whom we love.

My wife, Olya, has been subject to an enormous amount of unnecessary abuse from my ex-wife - including name-calling and rude behavior - even the physical confrontation I mentioned earlier - yet Olya remains a sweet and loving person who has been my partner through most of this. There have been times where the pressures were almost too much for us to bear - but we've made it through and we are NOT going to allow any small-minded, petty, hate-filled POS affect our lives and future.

FWIW

- Dan

[Sonar]

SUGGESTION:

Maybe someone can start a new topic - with a poll - which ASKS about the experiences of the guys in terms of; 1) which Embassy conducted the interview, 2) did the sponsor (the guy) accompany the lady, 3) were they allowed to be present at the interview, and 4) what were the results ---- or something like that.

The reason I would be curious is that I was not only allowed to be with Olya during the interview (in Warsaw), I was the one who the interviewer posed the most questions to. It was, probably, quite unusual - and no doubt, the fact that I was there and spoke Russian and translated for them - was also unusual - but nonetheless, it would be interesting to see how, if at all, things have changed not that interviews are conducted in Kyiv instead of Warsaw (for Ukrainian citizens).

- Dan

Sounds like a good idea to me. I'm new here and prefer to take a back seat. But I hope someone else will do it. I'd be interested to know the results.

[Sonar]

Check out the statistics on how the tern 'mental abuse' is applied in almost any divorce proceeding when the man does not bow to the court system. I'm not saying that this is something that all AW dream up, but every damn divorce lawyer in town uses it whenever possible. If you misunderstood what I meant by that statement there is pleanty of documentation around to back it up.

Sonar,

KenC is actually a GREAT guy - and you will come to learn that in the days ahead.

It sounds like you have been through a horrible ordeal - so please allow me to commiserate - just a bit.


[/quote]
Dan,

After reading your post, it's very obvious to me that you are one of those rare individuals able to make good rational sense in any situation. Thanks for taking the time to share your experience.

I can relate to everything that you are saying and I understand the stress that you are under. I thank God that my ordeal with the family law system is over and I will never again be subjected to such a farce.

My situation was different than yours in some ways but probably very much the same in others. It was kind of like a football game where one team jumps out to an early lead and holds onto it until late in the fourth quarter. My x won everything that she asked for over and over until the judge finally became annoyed with her and the 30+ contempt charges that she had filed. Then the tide began to slowly turn in my favor and after 4 years of litigation, I walked away the winner. I have custody of both of my kids, pay no child support or alimony and have not been back to court in more than 2 years now. 

It is all water under the bridge for me and I hope that it will be the same for you soon. Thanks for your words of wisdom.