Hello Everyone!

[mark2353]

I am collecting information in case a lady (russian) that I meet through one of the dating services works out. also I trying to more insight on the cultural differences..
I know that the more I know and friends I have that have walked this path it will make her first year a little easier. I know this from personal experience. I came to the US from Argentina when I was ten and it was tough for both me and mom. We did not speak a word of english. So I want to make this lady life a little easier. Like I said if it works. I am planning to go Volgograd in april. As everyone knows that is always the go or no go decision.
I would appreciate any guidance or wisdom. Thanks, Mark 

[Shadow]

Welcome Mark,

If I understand it well the trip in April will be your first meeting. That means it does not have to be (or as many will say should not be) a go or no go decision. Expect nothing more as a first date and do not travel with the intention of coming back engaged.
I hope you are ready to follow up the trip with more, and will be able to communicate with the lady.

read the 10 commandments and the FAQ, and do no hesitate to ask questions

[myrddin]

Welcome Mark!

I'm not a source of wisdom (as far as I know!), but I can just say that I've found a lot of useful information here. 

Having come to the US at age 10, I'm sure you'll have unique insight to share about adapting to American culture.  My first guess is you'd say: learning English is good

I hope all goes well for you and your lady

[mark2353]

Alright I have a question for you all! I am planing this trip to Russia with visiting this one lady only? Should I look at more than one lady? "cover my bases!
Any other stuff you think I should look at? Open to all suggestions

[Turboguy]

Yes you should. I might feel even stronger about that if you would share the name of the agency you met her through.

[myrddin]

(you did say "you all", so I feel qualified to comment    )

I'm sure plenty of people will warn you about the Visit One strategy, but some guys just may not be the Visit Many type.  There are success stories with every strategy.

I'd say: gather all the information and advice you can, really think about it, and be true to yourself.  And consider that there's a reason they put "Always have a backup plan" in the commandments.

[Gator]

Mark,

Welcome!

You have the cart ahead of the horse.

You should not now study information on how to make her first year "a little easier."

Instead, focus on information such as culture and language and age to understand if this woman is a good match with you for marriage.   

If she is, you will have plenty of time to study about adjustment - at least six months while your visa application is being processed.

[Gator]

Mark,

With regard to your second post - go to search function and type WMVM and WOVO (see glossary for definition).

[mark2353]

ok! answer one of the gentlemen s question I meet this lady through Elenas dating (found it trying to fix a money scam!) service. Yes I read good and horror story about it and all the others so... I just running with it! As far as learning the her culture, language ...  I am already been working on all that. I am a bit a of history buff so I know more than I want to. Especially about Volgograd (stalingrad). I could use some education on customs, holiday.. I looked at the suggested read area but is empty. Due to my career I have been to europe many time and a couple times to asia. So I am good traveler and open to other cultures so. Taking someone new will require some adjusting but I am not in the backwoods of Mississippi. I life in the San Francisco bay area so it has its advantages.
I do have my concerns about traveling just to see one person since it is does not work I am stuck with 2 wks in strange place getting to know the place. I did think of taking one of those tours but it looks to much like a meat market on both sides.
Please through all your stuff this is almost all of it!   
thanks
Mark

[Shadow]

Mark, as myrddin said it very much depends on what you are used to. If you can 'handle' dating multiple women then having others lined up to meet is a good plan. If not, enjoying the scenery and taking the address of a local agency in case of trouble is a sound backup plan as well.

[Rvrwind]

Hello Mark & Welcome...
To your question I agree with most of what is said above. I would only add that there is no need to contact other ladies at this point, just gets confusing.
What worked for me & many others is pick an agency in the same city, or one close by. Look through their website & see if anything appeals to you. If so write them & tell them your plan & let them know that if things fall apart that you may drop in to meet some ladies. That way should things not work out, as many times they do not, you have a viable backup plan & will have no worries about being stuck for two weeks.
I call it CYA, Cover Your A$$

[mark2353]

RWind,
I like your plan best because i hate to setup peoples expectations if you might not be able to meet them. In other words if I go there and all goes well then i have a bunch of people waiting for nothing or false alarm (not my type) if you go and does not work then the cya rules apply! thanks
Mark

[Rvrwind]

I like your plan best because i hate to setup peoples expectations if you might not be able to meet them.

Exactly.
The agency is not going to contact the ladies & tell them you are coming until they know for a fact you are coming, at least we don't. But what we do do is kind of look into where she is at, in town, on vacation, whatever, descretely of course. Just gives us a heads up, so should your planned meeting not pan out we can have the ladies in our agency informed before you arrive & set your back up plan in motion.
One of the advantages of knowing the ladies personally.
Whatever happens, I hope you enjoy your trip. The history, the culture, the people, especially the ladies make it something that you can remember as a good or bad experience. It will be the decisions you make that will determine the outcome. I give you only one small piece of parting advice & you can take it for what its worth - Don't ignore the Red Flags! They will come back to bite you in the a$$...
Good luck & may you find what you seek...

[Thor]

Hi Mark,

I wish to welcomme you to this board and also make some comments. NEVER go to FSU to meet only 1 girl, ALWAYS have a back up plan...Why??? Because very often so are the girl you ar going to meet a scammer or there are no chemistri between you. This happends all the time. When you send letters to each other all seems so fine, but when you meet face to face so are there a differendt story. I have no itensions of breaking your dreams, only to give you advises so you dont do the same mistackes as so many others have done in this process. At the momendt so are I in Kharkov Ukraine. I am married to Ukrainian girl and I have been to FSU 17 times now.

You wrote that you did not want to have girls lined up for you and maybe you could not meet them if the first girl was for you.....Dont worry at all, this girls "lined" up will not be very disapointed if you dont show up. It is very nice of you to think this way, but in real "FSU" life it is differendt. This girls will not fall in love before a meeting. FSU girls can be very selctiv and cynical. They are in many ways foxes. The days where the run their feet of to see forreign men are DO SVIDANYA:)) (mean those days are over). The economical situation in FSU have improved a lot the last years and now is it just hard work to find a sincere girl. Also the most beautiful girls prefer to stay with local men with money this days. BUT there is not a problem to find a average girl, but the beautiful one is harder to find now.

Read all you can on this site since there is a lot of info here. Study the culture, learn some basic Russian words, then you will be well preperd before you go to FSU.

There are a lot of peoples in FSU that are waiting to scam you, for them are you a forreign guy with money. Here in kharkov are there 200 agencys, BUT only 5 are registraed an legal.............The rest are unlegal agencys. This agencys are BIG time scammers!!!! I spoke to the employes in Kevin Hayes agency here in Kharkov 2 days ago and they told me this numbers. This iswell organized scam business in FSU.

I dont want to scare you or anything. Just do your homework and ALWAYS have a back up plan!!!!!

[ScottinCrimea]

Hi Mark,

I wish to welcomme you to this board and also make some comments. NEVER go to FSU to meet only 1 girl, ALWAYS have a back up plan...

Thor, after all of the debate we've had here over the merits of WOVO vs WMVM vs ..., I thought we had reached an agreement that each has its merits and ultimately depends on the individual and what they are comfortable with.  Using words such as NEVER and ALWAYS in this matter does a real disservice to people coming here for advice.  It also does a real disservice to those of us who went to the FSU to meet only one woman and came away successful.  Maybe you would do better to do as Gator did, which was to advise him to go back and read the threads on the subject, weigh the merits of each and then make his own decision.

[Thor]

Hi Scott,

Thats ok. All have their own way of finding a girl. Fair enough. But I would say that it is common known that to go to meet only 1 girl without having a back up plan is not a very good idea. How can you know if the meeting will work out as you want....I have read a lot of post at this boards and differendt boards where guys have said that they went to meet 1 girl and it did not work out and that they regreted not having a back up plan. I remember one guy that wrote that he fell in love with a girl before he had even meet her, and when the meeting did not go as he exspeckted so did he spend 2 weeks only walking around waiting to go home again....He had no back up plan. But of course yes the girl you are meeting could be the one....Having a back up plan is easy. As RWind wrote you can send a email to some agencys you know are honest or as I did use a private helper to place newspapers ads. There are many ways of having a back up plan Scott. I wounder how many guys at this board went to meet only 1 girls and was sucesfull??

[ScottinCrimea]

I wounder how many guys at this board went to meet only 1 girls and was sucesfull??

It all depends on how you define "successful"  Probably not a good idea to go into that one again.  Still, there are several here who went this route that I would define as successful, including myself with nearly four years together with my wife.

[Enot]

Hello Mark,

If you are woried about a meeting going "bust", go to Elena's website and search for other women in Volgograd you might want to contact if things don't work out.  I'm not saying to write to them but write down their membership number so you can contact them if needed.  Or find a local agency as someone suggested.

Also, March 8th is women's day so be sure to send flowers ... an odd number, an even number of flowers is for sad occations such as a death.

Best of luck!

[Thor]

I define "successful by how many guys went to see 1 girl and got married to that girl......I guess most guys travel all the way to FSU to find a girl for marriage and not only friendsship, or what...? Even if FSU is a nice palce to visite

[Enot]

I went to see 1 girl and married her.

[Thor]

Ok Enot. Where are your wife from?

[Enot]

She's not my wife anymore.  Divorced for over a year.

I will marry a girl from Moldova in April.  I went to see only her also ... never had a back up plan.  I've known her for over a year.

[Thor]

Ok. I dont know about Moldova, have never been there. Anyway I would never go withou a back up plan....

[START2]

Mark,
  I really see nothing wrong with a back-up plan. It doesn't mean you have to contact anyone else now, it just means that it might be a good idea to familiarize yourself with the local agencies and have phone numbers and addresses ready just in case. I'd classify it as free insurance. Of course if you need it, it won't be free but you also won't have to scramble around if things don't work out. It'd be alot better than wandering around the city with  nowhere to go. This is quite an investment financially so do yourself a favor.
   *****   Thor, sorry I missed you last summer. Will you be around Kharkov this summer. July ?
 

[mark2353]

Thank you all! I sort of started a backup plan yesterday before I read all these great comments. I am obviously familiar with EM agency is there any others "honest or serious" agencies in the Volgograd area that i should look into?
I know my history to well, culture needs some fine details but that is the easy part. I am wondering if I should take my laptop or rely on internet cafes?
also if I choose to fly from Volgograd to Kiev is that expensive flight? that opens large group of ladies in that region.
Thanks for all the suggestions.
Mark