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[lookingagain43]

Ok I am new to this.Just want to say hello. I have questions ,lots of them.lol One thing what is the best site to look and find a girl?I want to go over there with a group.Not to sure I want to go alone.Any help would be nice.
Thanks

[Enot]

Welcome to the forum Looking!

If you want to go with a group be prepared to pay some big bucks.  I don't know of a dating site that is honest and won't rip you off.

Believe me, it's not as difficult as it seems to get around the FSU.  Have your date meet you at the Russian airport you land in, probably Moscow if you're going to Russia.  Tell her you will pay for her ticket when you arrive. Then Let her take it from there.  You can also hire a service to help you around.

www.elenasmodels.com will provide everything you need, from an interpreter to a hotel ... but you will pay BIG BUCKS for any service!!!

If you like, send me a private message and I'll give you my e-mail address so you can ask questions.  I'm sure other members can answer your group questions better than I.

Welcome again and good luck.

[BC]

Welcome Looking!

First things first... click on the 10 Commandments link at the top of the page and review the RWD FAQ on the left menu bar.

Enjoy.

[Turboguy]

Going with a group can be a good thing or a bad thing for a beginner.   I would suggest you stay far away from tours by A Foreign Affair or Anastasia.    The one I have been on and would recommend highly is Jack's tours which you can read about on www.FirstDreams.com.   Jack participates here some and his tours are different from any others.   I have never talked to anyone who did one of Elena's tours to know how they are but the agency themselves is highly recommended.   I met my wife through Elena's.   You can read some reports on Jack's tours here including one I did a year and a half ago.   His Christmas party did not have as good a reaction as his usual tours this year but most everyone who has done one of Jack's tours would recommend them and him.

There are a lot of sites to stay away from.   Ones that generally have good reviews are Elena's, Bride.ru,  MerryDating, Cindy Agency, A Pretty woman and some others.  Many seem to like freepersonals.ru which is free.   I used them along with Elena's in my search.   There are also some very good small agencies to work with such as KhersonGirls and TverAngels. 

[Ste]

I'd say forget it. Are you on the rebound? Any interest in Russian language, culture or literature?

[Enot]

Elena's doesn't have a tour, you have a person assigned to you from the agency.  You must select a woman from Elena's then use their service.  You can also hire them to find the "perfect" girl for you ... of course all this costs BIG BUCKS!!!

Good luck with your search!

[lookingagain43]

What is Big bucks? I am not rich but I do very well.

[Taz]

Read the FAQs. Find a few other sites. Educate yourself and you will be much happier in the long run. If you use a tour of sorts, expect to pay at least $3,000 and up for the tour and you'll still be out your own airfare and often quite a few other things. Often there will be gotchas such a bus ride that wasn't included in the price or who knows what else the neglected to mention.

No matter what read the fine print VERY CAREFULLY! With any luck someone with a lot of experience might take you under their wing and mentor you. I've done this for quite a few guys. Some just don't get it. I'd suggest starting here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=6490.0

It is sort of a narrative about a friend of mine and his search and sort of "what not to do". It will take a while to get through but it might be very informative. Take a few minutes or hours and read through. It isn't the dry, boring stuff you often might read.

Good luck and strap yourself in tight. You are about to go on the ride of your life!

[Turboguy]

Your big agency tours start around the $ 3500 range.   That includes hotels.    Jack lets you pick the number of cities and which cities you go to.   Without having looked at his info in a while, two cities are about $ 1295, three are about $ 1895 and 4 cities are about $ 23-2495.   The hotels are extra and are about $ 60.00 a night,   I did the 4 city tour which was enough.   My head was spinning with women at that point.

Elena's talks about a tour but I have never heard of anyone using that part of their service and I don't think they really do organized tours with a group of guys like you want.

You don't have to be rich but this is not a cheap process.   You really want to know the person you will marry and need to make a number of trips to do things right.   There is so much info already here that you can read for a long time and still have questions.

[lookingagain43]

Thanks but unlike JD I have been married two times. 1st wife died. 2nd wife we where married for 13 years and our son died and she could not look at me without seeing him.So she left.She could not take the pain.So I know what being married is all about.I am not looking for a perfect woman.Just want someone to be with.Not a big girl.I seam to get alot of big girls that like me.I am 6 foot 3 inch 195 Lbs.I don`t think 3500 is bad.I have spent alot more than that here in the US.

[Shadow]

Tours are nice to 'test the waters' but chances of actually finding marriage material is pretty slim.
If you are serious, go for one of the small agencies that can provide personal service when you are visiting.

[Turboguy]

A little more on tours as I wait for my first cup of coffee of the day to cool off.   I have done three of what I call big agency tours. ones like AFA and A-Web do.   As I mentioned before, my recommendation would be to avoid them like the plague.   They draw in two many women off the streets that are there looking more to see what they can extract from a man's wallet and not so much wanting a husband.   You have a whole bunch of men surrounded by a whole bunch of women and it is not all that comfortable for men or women.

Jack does his differently.   He does about two tours a year to a dozen cities a tour.  He limits his tours to 12 men at each city and he won't take guys he would be ashamed of presenting.   He wants 12 good guys.  He has a bunch of individual meetings for the guys and one party per city where each man meets all the women and the women are hand picked and not just off the street.

By the way there are overweight women in the FSU but you have to hunt hard to find them.   Sometimes they gain a few pounds once they hit our food choices though.

[Kuna]

Lookingagain43,

My advice would be to slow down just a little and don't make any decisions yet on who to use and how to travel.

I'd suggest you spend some time reading here to get a feel for the many different experiences of RWD members.

I can assure you when you want to travel there will be lots of advice forthcoming...  but before that I think the following will help:

1. Read the TR's... as you'll get an idea of the possibilities, and the dangers - and there are many of both;

2. Stop, think and really UNDERSTAND what you're looking for and why? 
a) What age lady would suit your lifestyle?  Younger girls are often less serious...  If you're not chasing a fantasy 30+ yr old ladies are wonderful.
b) Can she/should she have children?  Want children?
c) Where from?  Why? (Remember if you marry a RW you will be visiting her city/country often)
d) What is important to you?
e) Think of careers professions and the type of people who enter them... who would suit you?  School teachers might have a very different personality to a Marketing Executive...  Science graduates to Shop girls... etc 
f) How about language abilities?  If you court a lady who speak little or no English expect a long courting period... that's only fair to you and her. 

3. Be honest with yourself ABOUT YOURSELF... 
a) What can you offer?
b) Strengths? Weaknesses? Pet hates?  Hobbies? History? 
c) Dating success at home (I noticed you said large girls like you...  WHY?)  Some men think girls will climb over each other to get to a foreign man...  Reality is that the good girls need to be courted and impressed...  they're not nearly as desperate as some of the web sites would suggest.
d) How much time can you commit to this?  How often can you go to see her over what period?  There are high costs involved but it's not just $'s... it costs a lot of time.

4. Consider which approach suits you best. 
a) Tours typically will put you in touch with many women at events...  I've never been to one but I hear it's not possible to get any real understanding about a woman from a "party" so all you might be going on is looks or a superficial conversation (often through a translator)...  After the event you're still down to meeting ladies and trying to get to know them
b) A reputable agency can arrange many "dates" for you... of course these aren't "dates", they're just meetings.  If you click with a lady you will want to spend more time getting to know her
c) You can write many letters and filter down until you have one or a few to visit... At least this way you'll know something about the ladies before you meet.  There are dangers though:  DON'T fall in love before meeting... Don't be tempted by the ridiculous... NEVER send money... Always have a back up plan (Agency) to use if the meetings don't work out...  Don't write letters in a shot gun approach all over FSU, you'll end up traveling too far between meetings... Don' write for too long...  Only use a reputable agency where you get the direct contact information straight away (i.e. don't correspond through an agency on a pay per letter scam). 

5. Be skeptical but not paranoid.  I can't stress this enough...  sometimes we see men come in here so paranoid they are guaranteed to scary every lady off.  Paranoia is bad... skepticism is wise.  By the way... be skeptical of everyone when entering this pursuit.  Anyone who makes money from you should be treated with extreme caution not only to save yourself some money (serious money at times) but also to save yourself the wasted time and emotions.  You'll here extraordinary things... be skeptical.  Check everything you're told at least once!

6.  The best advice I can give you is to be patient and participate in RWD.  Around 18 months ago I was just like you... looking for the best path.  Three months later I traveled to Ukraine... three months after that I went back to see the same girl.  We moved more quickly than some but I'm happy to say we're blissfully happy, newly married and now expecting our first child.

If you get this right... it's the most remarkable experience you can imagine.

Best of luck!

Kuna

[dneid]

Hey, Lookinagain,
I am somewhat new here as well.  I found this site about 3 months ago and these guys have helped me get a much better handle on the whos, whats, wheres, and hows.  I would agree with others and tell you to slow down and take some time to everything here.  I literally perused every forum and at least glanced through most threads.  Go through the Trip Report forum and read, read, and read.
Listen to these guys.  Many of these guys will be more than happy to call, private e-mail, or others forms of private communication.
I am getting ready to head off to Ukraine in April on my own.  groovlstk, ken, taz, and others (many others... thanks you guys!) provided me with lots of help and advice.  All in all, a great place to learn.
Good luck!