A Russian dating site leader

[Eduard]

Лидер сайта
Россия. Москва
 костя, 27
 девчонки я жду ваших предложений,с ейчас свободен! 

I found this to be a profound statement of the state of dating in Russia.
This 27 yo male was voted the leader (most popular) on the site.
He doesn't say on his profile that he is looking for "love, family, devotion, that he is responsible, educated, considerable, loyal, etc. etc. you get my drift?
What he does say is :" Girls, I'm waiting for your offers, I am single now!"

The fact that he was voted the site's leader speaks volumes IMO. This attitude is also very common among Russian males due to the abundance of available females IMHO.

[Shadow]

Who voted, males or females ? 

[Gator]

Eduard, I assume his photo is the reason rather than the above words.

[Eduard]

Eduard, I assume his photo is the reason rather than the above words.

I wanted to post his photo here but not sure how. I did copy it and he looks pretty average to me.

[SANDRO43]

I wanted to post his photo here but not sure how. I did copy it and he looks pretty average to me.

Open "Additional Options..." when posting, then use "Attach:" and the "Choose" button to point where your photo is .

[Eduard]

Eduard, I assume his photo is the reason rather than the above words.

Thanks for the tip Sandro! here's the dude's pic

[Lily]

He looks very average, IMHO.

Ed, would this be his entire profile, no more information?

On his leadership: I don't think he became leader because of the visitors votes. The IT technical facilities should be able to bring a profile on the very top by some other means than open voting. For instance, the person could work for the site, or have any other means to influence hos formal leadership. Or just vote by himself for himself. Becaming a site leader actually ensures greater visibility, therefore he might be interested in a formal 'site leader' status.

[groovlstk]

When I was using Russian dating sites years ago, it was common practice for friends to boost a pal's rating, male or female. I wouldn't draw any conclusions from the lack of desire to start a family, be a good husband, etc.

[Gator]

Lily,

Unfair comment.  You are the same as Sabina - you do not like the look of RM.     


Maybe this man is a "heart throb" among RW happier with RM. He does look very manly with an athletic  "V" body - although he should add some padding to give the look of a larger "package". 

[Eduard]

He looks very average, IMHO.

Ed, would this be his entire profile, no more information?

On his leadership: I don't think he became leader because of the visitors votes. The IT technical facilities should be able to bring a profile on the very top by some other means than open voting. For instance, the person could work for the site, or have any other means to influence hos formal leadership. Or just vote by himself for himself. Becaming a site leader actually ensures greater visibility, therefore he might be interested in a formal 'site leader' status.

Hi Lily,
I'm not familiar with the technicalities of how people become "leaders" on a dating site, but I'm very familiar with the attitude among RM that his ad projects. I just found that ad funny and very descriptive of RM's dating style these days. Obviously it's a generalisation and not all RM have this attitude. But in my personal experience - a lot do, because they can.

[Eduard]

does anyone know why I don't see "modify" option anymore? I wanted to replace the word "projects" with the word "displays" in my previous post, but have no way of doing that now.

[SANDRO43]

does anyone know why I don't see "modify" option anymore?

IIRC, posts can be modified only within 24 hours of their posting.

[mspanky]

 Why is he on  dating website? Shouldn't it be easy to get dates just walking down the street or hanging out in local colleges? Most young guys even AM who are 27 or under are rarely on dating websites unless they are not too good looking.

[Misha]

Why is he on  dating website? Shouldn't it be easy to get dates just walking down the street or hanging out in local colleges? Most young guys even AM who are 27 or under are rarely on dating websites unless they are not too good looking.

In my experience, free dating sites are much, much more popular in Russia than they are in North America. You have a lot of very attractive men and women on the sites, the type of men and women that rarely go the dating sites in North America. There isn't the stigma attached to it as there is in North America.

[Eduard]

In my experience, free dating sites are much, much more popular in Russia than they are in North America. You have a lot of very attractive men and women on the sites, the type of men and women that rarely go the dating sites in North America. There isn't the stigma attached to it as there is in North America.

yes it is very acceptable in Russia, and practically everyone is on line nowdays. Since going to clubs and bars is veeeeeeeeery expensive for most women and men dating sites is probably the most popular way to meet people in Russia nowdays. Contrary to what Bruno was trying to say in another thread that there are only a couple of hundred thousand women on free Russian sites, just one of the sites that I use to search for women for my clients has almost 9.5 million users I would think that at least half of them are women searching for a guy..really, a lifetime wouldn't be enough to go through all those profiles! 

[myrddin]

For some reason, I'm not surprised online dating is more acceptable in Russia.  Still, in my perception the stigma in North America is finally starting to fade and it's becoming more mainstream.

[Misha]

yes it is very acceptable in Russia, and practically everyone is on line nowdays. Since going to clubs and bars is veeeeeeeeery expensive for most women and men dating sites is probably the most popular way to meet people in Russia nowdays. Contrary to what Bruno was trying to say in another thread that there are only a couple of hundred thousand women on free Russian sites, just one of the sites that I use to search for women for my clients has almost 9.5 million users I would think that at least half of them are women searching for a guy..really, a lifetime wouldn't be enough to go through all those profiles! 

I agree with Eduard. Plus, dating in Russia is much more laid back in Russia IMHO. I could go online, chat with some women who were online as well, and set up a date within an hour or two. Given the large numbers of people on the free Russian dating sites, there were always women online and there were so many that if things did not work out with one, it was easy to find a date with someone new.

[Gator]

My fiancee tried them two years ago.

Even though she felt it demeaning, she started a proactive campaign by drafting a clever introductory letter and sending it to several men.  The men who bothered to answer were either not looking for a serious relationship or were looking for a woman in her 20s.  

On the passive side, she received many unsolicited emails.  Again, most men were not serious.  Finally she connected with a man who seemed serious.  

They agreed to a first meeting at a restaurant.  Traffic made her late, and he had arrived ahead of her.  He did not stand when she approached his table.  She sat and learned that he had already ordered.  When his food arrived, he ate it without her.  She never ordered, and they parted after he finished his meal.  When he stood to leave, he was 4" shorter than what he wrote in his profile.

That was it.  No more RM for her.  She did not like them before, and this only reinforced her opinion.  So she focused on international activities.

[boatguy]

I must agree with Gator about these dating sites. I met my fiancee thru a Russian site but from what she tells me, most RM especially if they are living in her city or nearby are not serious or only looking for sex. Over the course of 2 years, she received over 600 e-mails. Her girlfriends also use them, so they are well accepted.

[groovlstk]

When I used Russian dating sites I never checked out the male competition, but if you browse through women's profiles you'll see tons of prostitutes and good-time girls, all mixed in with women looking for wholesome relationships. I'd imagine it's probably similar to what women see when browsing men's profiles, minus the sponsorship demand. All of this is right out in the open, when creating a profile there's simply a checkbox for "I want a sponsor." As far as I know, this sort of thing isn't accepted or condoned on more uptight western dating sites.

I also don't understand what's wrong with a 20ish RM who is looking to date with no aim in sight but for fun. When I was in my 20s (and part of my 30s), I had no interest in marriage. I had a lot of fun, spent too much money, stayed out too late - and I'm not ashamed one bit.

For those who think it's a distinctly RM quality to want to enjoy life before settling down, consider this: Years ago, I had a hockey pal who used to work for the Village Voice. The Voice had a very active single ads section (which I'd sometimes read for amusement, thinking "she actually enjoys that sort of thing? Good God!" and "How does he walk the next morning?!?"). Anyway, my friend told me that the most successful personals ad in the history of The Voice was a five-liner entitled, "MR. WRONG."

[Eduard]

When I used Russian dating sites I never checked out the male competition, but if you browse through women's profiles you'll see tons of prostitutes and good-time girls, all mixed in with women looking for wholesome relationships. I'd imagine it's probably similar to what women see when browsing men's profiles, minus the sponsorship demand. All of this is right out in the open, when creating a profile there's simply a checkbox for "I want a sponsor." As far as I know, this sort of thing isn't accepted or condoned on more uptight western dating sites.

I also don't understand what's wrong with a 20ish RM who is looking to date with no aim in sight but for fun. When I was in my 20s (and part of my 30s), I had no interest in marriage. I had a lot of fun, spent too much money, stayed out too late - and I'm not ashamed one bit.

For those who think it's a distinctly RM quality to want to enjoy life before settling down, consider this: Years ago, I had a hockey pal who used to work for the Village Voice. The Voice had a very active single ads section (which I'd sometimes read for amusement, thinking "she actually enjoys that sort of thing? Good God!" and "How does he walk the next morning?!?"). Anyway, my friend told me that the most successful personals ad in the history of The Voice was a five-liner entitled, "MR. WRONG."

I'm not sure which sites you were using, but I only see a prostitute ad only once in a while. No exact stats, but I would say I see about 1 hooker ad for every 2 thousand profiles that I browse maybe even one in 3-4 thousand profiles.
I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with young males not wanting to settle down and just looking for a "good time". It's only natural. My question is, where does it leave young women 25 to ...? who are ready to settle down, want a family and children...which brings us back to that heated stats argument of the ratio of available, marriage minded men to women...is it really 1:1? 1:8? 1:12? 1:3 who's got the real numbers???
One thing I know, a hot girl like Lily wouldn't be single in the US for more than a couple of days (unless she just preffered to be single)

[Misha]

That was it.  No more RM for her.  She did not like them before, and this only reinforced her opinion.  So she focused on international activities.

What is the success rate for women looking for a foreign husband? Less than 5%? Less than 10%? If a woman is looking for a partner (husband or otherwise), it would not be a good strategic move to look only for a foreign husband. She may get lucky, but the odds are not that good. I makes much better sense to look at home as well. Yes, most of the guys will come across as jerks, but like the men a woman can winnow through hundreds or thousands of men to try and find at least a few decent options.

[Gator]

Gaubaub wrote,

makes much better sense to look at home as well

It depends on the woman.  In this case, she had no trouble attracting high quality foreign men.  Her situation is comparable to the Western man situation - difficult to find quality local women, yet easy to connect with a multitude of quality RW.

I knew of other RW who do not have as much luck with Western men, yet still refuse to consider RM other than those in categories such as  "friend of a friend."  These RW simply do not want to waste their time with something that seems hopeless.  So they spend their time where they still have hope for fulfilling their dreams.

[SANDRO43]

I'm not sure which sites you were using, but I only see a prostitute ad only once in a while. No exact stats, but I would say I see about 1 hooker ad for every 2 thousand profiles that I browse maybe even one in 3-4 thousand profiles.

You should also add 'covert' pros like my "Double Dealers" (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1598.0) to that figure (only 55 so far, which won't change your stats by much and we needn't get into a debate ).

[Blues Fairy]

I had a profile on a couple of Russian dating sites for a year or so.  Mostly I was contacted by the likes of this Kostya (shallow oversexed twits), infantile mamma's boys, married middleage crisis shmucks, and only occasionally interesting intelligent guys who explored various online opportunities.  Most of the latter, upon personal meeting, turned out to be mamma's boys, married middleage crisis shmucks, or shallow oversexed twits.  Tough luck.