Am I crazy....

[funfitguy99]

I met her last week on a online dating site.  I had emailed maybe 20 - 30 girls the two weeks before. Several emailed me back but none who really appealed to me. Then SHE writes me....the most exquisite, beautiful creature on the planet. She is 31 (I'm 44). She was so sweet and sincere in her email. We have traded emails every day since and we are both totally enamored by each other it seems. She says she doesn't want to correspond with anyone but me and I feel the same way.

I date a lot of AW (just ended a 1 yr relationship) but just haven't been impressed so I joined the site, mainly out of curiosity. I really didn't plan to fall in love with anyone!

Now I wonder should I go meet her but while I'm there also schedule time with an agency and meet others in case we don't click in person? I'm a really confident guy and usually have my way with women because I know how to treat them. So I'm not really worried about being rejected. I guess I just wonder are there really like huge numbers of beautiful women that I would be crazy not to meet first?

I say this but she just seems so perfect. Am I crazy or could I really be this fortunate to have met my ideal woman so soon?

Please any advice would be helpful!

[Albert]

Yes, it is possible that you could have met your ideal woman so soon.  But, more likely is the case you suggested . . . .  that you are crazy . . . and that she is crazy too.

It matters not how confident you are, nor how well you know how to treat women.  All first meetings between man and woman are crap shoots, and even more so when you factor in the differences between cultures, etc.  It is also quite possible (from all that I have read on these boards) that FSU women are much more fickle than the average woman in other countries.  Many have rejected guys upon first laying eyes on them getting off the plane, etc., despite months of e-mails, phone conversations, exchanging of photos, etc.

I, myself, have had meetings with FSU women as short as about 3 minutes despite some very torrid exchange of many messages.

And there will be a much higher entrance fee to enter this crap shoot than to have a first date with a gal across town or even in the next city.

You need to read much on this board and several other boards to learn of the many, many situations wherein a guy has travelled a great distance to see only one woman, only to have the whole relationship fall apart in a matter of minutes,  or hours or days.

So yes, by all means go to see this gal that you are infatuated with.  She could certainly be a dream come true.  But also start corresponding with 15 to 20 other women who live in the same city and plan to meet with as many of them as you can schedule.  In that manner you will accomplish at least two things.

First, if things fall through with Miss Wonderful, then you willl not be left in a strange city with your finger stuck up your butt.

Second, by dating several women of the same culture, you can compare and see if she really is Miss Wonderful.

[Albert]

Sorry, duplicate post

[Photo Guy]

If you met her last week and now you say you didn't plan on 'falling in love' which means you apparently did, then   'No', that's not possible. Love at first sight is possible, but not over the internet, -only in person.
Just call it infatuation and get to know her better. If it's 'right' after a few months, then go meet her in person for at least two weeks.

Write down all of the things that are important to you and ask her about them. How she feels about having kids, whether or not she has dated Bruno or Anono, etc.   Just kidding.   :D

Albert's advice is fairly mainstream, but I do remember how he mistakenly advised me that the woman I was interested in was probably a prostitute.  

[Shadow]

While it may be strange, I think it is possible to feel abond iwth someone only by e-mails. However, you will only know for sure if this bond exists when you meet her in person. If you know you want to meet her, do not waste time but plan your visit asap.

About back-up plans, if she is from a larger city you will probably be able to find the address of an agency. Take it in case you need it. Another way of having a back-up plan is to just enjoy the trip and have fun anyway. If you feel infatuated with this woman you will probably not do well writing to others.

Where Photoguy advises a trip of minimal two weeks, I would say it depends on your location as well. Being from Europe I do not have a lot of air time and time difference with the FSU. As such I could take trips of 4 or 5 days. These short trips did not need a backup plan, and always provided enough information to know about real life chemistry and compatibility.  But I admit that flying from the USA to be in the FSU for 4 days and going back can only be done by someone who is used to fly around the world.

Finally, if she decides it is better to visit you and asks you to pay for it, better run

[ronin308]

My 2 cents, the girl I had the most intimate emails with is not the one I ended up with.  Yes, the meeting was good, but honestly of the women I wrote to the who would have been my first been my first choice wrote some of the shortest letters with the least chemistry.

Yes, you can feel a bond but that can all evaportate because some people simply communicate via email better than they do in person.

My father got involved in an exchange of emails and even several long phone calls with a woman and felt he had to fly across the country to meet.  Once he met, he knew in the first day she wasn't right for him fortunately he had a backup and wasn't completly lost.

[Bruno]

[user=398]funfitguy99[/user] wrote:

I say this but she just seems so perfect. Am I crazy or could I really be this fortunate to have met my ideal woman so soon?

you are not crazy, it is possible that she is the right one... so, you can begin the next step, ready a possible meeting... only with meeting, you will know the reply... and continue write her... in one week, you cannot know all the face from the thousand faced dice that the personality of woman are... by knowing better, your of her feeling can always change...

Myself, i know now a wonderfull woman all SEEM perfect... we have strong feeling for each other but we don't speak of love before a meeting... friendship, maybe... My relation is enough new ( one month ) and we communicate a lot ( 1 or 2 e-mail days, 1 or 2 hours ICQ day, several SMS day, one daily phone call )... but same with this, i don't wish speak about real love before a meeting... feeling and friendship are possible but they are not real love...

PhotoGuy wrote :

How she feels about having kids, whether or not she has dated Bruno or Anono, etc. Just kidding. :D

If she have only meet PhotoGuy, you are a lucky man... she is certainly still a virgin... Just kidding too. :D

 




 

[funfitguy99]

About back-up plans, if she is from a larger city you will probably be able to find the address of an agency. Take it in case you need it. Another way of having a back-up plan is to just enjoy the trip and have fun anyway. If you feel infatuated with this woman you will probably not do well writing to others.

 

So I can just walk up to an agency and meet women? Do they have socials every nite or something? I suppose I should do an internet search for agencies in her city.

[funfitguy99]

It is also quite possible (from all that I have read on these boards) that FSU women are much more fickle than the average woman in other countries.  Many have rejected guys upon first laying eyes on them getting off the plane, etc., despite months of e-mails, phone conversations, exchanging of photos, etc.

 

I have not ever experienced rejection while online dating in the US. However, I can speak their language. This girl does not speak english which concerns me....because my communication skills with women are normally my greatest strength.

I think all of you are right that I should proceed with caution and just go to East Europe for the experience as much to meet her.

Dang what does it cost for a week in the Ukraine anyway....Flights, hotel, food, etc? 

[Michelangelo]

[user=398]funfitguy99[/user] wrote:

I guess I just wonder are there really like huge numbers of beautiful women that I would be crazy not to meet first?

Yes, you likely are "crazy" but that is normal in this game  Yes, you should meet other girls and should have a list of whom you would like to see before you leave.

My example?  I wrote a girl every day for 6 months and went to meet only her.  But when I got to Ukraine, she was "like a diffferent girl."  In fact, she might have been since some agencies have staff that "write" you for the girl and then have you meet the girl from the profile, who is a stranger to you, when you arrive.

After two "dates," I bailed and starting meeting girls at the agency.

If it seems to good to be true, it likely is...

Good luck!

[Michelangelo]

[user=398]funfitguy99[/user] wrote:

About back-up plans, if she is from a larger city you will probably be able to find the address of an agency. Take it in case you need it. Another way of having a back-up plan is to just enjoy the trip and have fun anyway. If you feel infatuated with this woman you will probably not do well writing to others.

 

So I can just walk up to an agency and meet women? Do they have socials every nite or something? I suppose I should do an internet search for agencies in her city.

No, you should find the agency before you leave.  Write me or someone else on this board for a list of "Good" agencies in the city you visit--most are corrupt.  

And yes, you can go through their catalogue on site and pick out girls you wish to meet and generaly meet them the same day or the next day.

Once again, meeting is different than writing or viewing profiles...

Ball park figures for cost of the week (from my experience):  flight 1200; apartment 75 per night for a great one; meals (you will buy for the girl and the intrepter) 30-50; gifts 200; intrepter fees 6-8 per hour; misc ?    I usually spend 2000 to 3000 dollars on the trip.

[Shadow]

[user=398]funfitguy99[/user] wrote:

It is also quite possible (from all that I have read on these boards) that FSU women are much more fickle than the average woman in other countries.  Many have rejected guys upon first laying eyes on them getting off the plane, etc., despite months of e-mails, phone conversations, exchanging of photos, etc.

 

I have not ever experienced rejection while online dating in the US. However, I can speak their language. This girl does not speak english which concerns me....because my communication skills with women are normally my greatest strength.

I think all of you are right that I should proceed with caution and just go to East Europe for the experience as much to meet her.

Dang what does it cost for a week in the Ukraine anyway....Flights, hotel, food, etc? 

 

Funfit, without wanting to spoil your fun...

I just reread your post and noticed that SHE wrote you first. You have wonderful communication with her, but she does not speak English  Hmm.... does this site allow women to write you without having a (creditcard) paid account ? And if she does not speak English, how is communication done ? Just wondering, but ifyou go ahead and tell your plans I am sure a lot will be clear soon.

 

[funfitguy99]

Funfit, without wanting to spoil your fun...

I just reread your post and noticed that SHE wrote you first. You have wonderful communication with her, but she does not speak English  Hmm.... does this site allow women to write you without having a (creditcard) paid account ? And if she does not speak English, how is communication done ? Just wondering, but ifyou go ahead and tell your plans I am sure a lot will be clear soon.

 

 

I was not clear. She was one of the women I sent a complimentary email to. It was just that her response was the most meaningful. Probably because my compliments to her were the most sincere as well. Perhaps we are both "romanticists"?.....lol

I don't know if the site requires the women to have a paid account or not. It doesn't say. It is only $20.00 per month for me and I get to immediately exchange emails, phone numbers or whatever we choose.

She acknowledges she is using a translator. I am very cautious about this but the words don't seem to be stuff a translator would make up.  Obviously, since I am new to this I'm going to err on the side of caution. But damn, not only is she a freakin hottie but she can cook too!. Who cares if she can't speak English!....

BTW, this discussion board is a great idea. Glad I found it!


 

[funfitguy99]

No, you should find the agency before you leave. Write me or someone else on this board for a list of "Good" agencies in the city you visit--most are corrupt.

 

She lives in Nikolaev, Ukraine (the name of city may also apparently be spelled as Nikolayev, Mykolaiv, Mykolayiv

If anyone has a recommendation I would certainly appreciate it!

[Bruno]

[user=398]funfitguy99[/user] wrote:

She lives in Nikolaev, Ukraine (the name of city may also apparently be spelled as Nikolayev, Mykolaiv, Mykolayiv

If she is named Galina, i can't help you :D:D

About Nikolaev, i can give some info, i was there in May...

For agency, your have more chance with Odessa, 2 hour ride from Nikolaev... of maybe you can contact Kevin on these forum, his agency is in Hershon, again around two hours ride from Nikolaev but other way... Jack seem to have contact everywhere in FSU...

First info... how control if your woman is real... ask her to be on the Lenin Square at a planned time with a red rose... a the same time, open your browser and visit the following address : http://ukrtelecom.ua/en/offers/web_cam/mykolaiv.html and you will be able to see your girlfriend :D kidding...

In any case, don't worry, you will be able to find help here...

 

 

[congamike]

Hi Ronin.

     I'm new to this site and new to the world of RW.  I read you response and it realy made allot of sence to me.  I'm on Eastwestmatch.com, Globaladies.com and Russianladies.com, do you know anything about these sites or heard anything good or bad from anyone who has gone on tours with European Conections?  I would appreciate you advise.  Thanks.

[ronin308]

Mike welcome, I've actually been a lurker and now feel I have enough experience to actually post something once in a while.

I'm not sure about the sites, I went through a tiny agency that seemed to be pretty good, most of the girls are referrals from other girls in the agency.  While they do a little advertising, you won't seem to find them mentioned all that much.

 

 

[KenC]

Funfit,

Yes, it could happen.  It just isn't likely.  I have been married for 6 years (next week) to the first Russian woman I ever talked with via phone or email.  Sometimes shit just happens when you least expect it.

KenC

[BC]

but plan as a rule that you will not be the exception...

[Maxx]

I thought this was such good advice I saved it into my document files.

It came from ConnerVt:

I tend to agree that writing more than a letter of two doesn't make too much sense.  There are some inherent problems with a long correspondence period.  People tend to hide behind words, and put themselves in the best light.  Next, unless both people are fluent in the language that is written, there will be misunderstandings that will either be taken very badly, or dismissed as a minor problem when they should not.  But these are minor compared to two other larger pitfalls.

First, there is always the problem of falling in love with a 'virtual person', the classic "photograph and letters" the person writes, and not the person themselves.  It is a big punch in the chest to travel half way around the world (or be visited by your foreign friend/love) only to find out quickly this is not the person you thought they were.  It's been described in many ways, but many will sa the "chemistry" isn't there.  I had an experience where the woman I wrote to seemed very intelligent and reasonable in here letters, but it was quickly felt (by both myself and my trusted interpretor) that she was borderline crazy.

Second, there will be the desire (perhaps on both parts) to salvage a less than exciting meeting between people to protect the investment of time, money, and energy spent corresponding.  Something like "...Well, there are not the person I thought they would be, perhaps in time I will begin to like them more..."  This is quicksand.  More time is invested, and now it becomes more difficult to cut one's losses and move on.  For all that's involved in an international relationship, I feel it's important that the two people really have strong feelings for each other, else only trouble waits down the road.

So, an introduction letter and 1-2 follow up letters are good for screening if there may be a mutual interest, but it really takes feet on the ground to truly accomplish the goal.
 
I only propose what was successful for me.  I chose to be introduced to women who were a reasonable match.  I avoided the party girls, the hot model type, etc., and met with women that I could envision spending my life with.  I am not rich.  I am not retired.  I do not have tons of free time.  But this is not an endeavor for those who want to do things on the fast and cheap.  The risks are just too great.  If done correctly, even though it is an investment of time and money, the rewards are outstanding.

Maxx

 



 

[Jack]

funfitguy, can you give the name of the i-net dating site you are talking about. I have no problem with going there and looking for you. I feel I can tell you within about 93% certainty if your being scammed if you want to share a little info with me.

[ConnerVT]

Shucks, Maxx.  Thanks for thinking it was sound advice.  Now, if you only would fix my typos for me.  I was probably drunk when I wrote it... (J/K )

[congamike]

Hi Jack.

      Actually, here's a couple of sites I'm on that If you want to go check em out for me I that would be great.  they are: Globoladies.com, Russianladies.com and Eastwestmatch.com.  Do you know anything about these sites or do you know some more reputable ones?  Thanks.  

[Maxx]

Shucks, Maxx.  I was probably drunk when I wrote it... (J/K )

That's depressing to me. You write with more clairity and wisdom when you are like that kitten in your avatar than I do at complete and sober attention. Well you got to say one thing about me, I know good advice when I hear it. I hope funfitguy99 does. 

BTW funfitguy99 does the 99 indicate your age? I have heard of some guys in their seventies that do this like Ronin's dad. Usually they are happily married to woman 50 - 55 years younger than themselves. Russian women are usually very traditional and prefer much older men closer to their grandfather's age for it's stability (and I-360 Widows Petition provisions :cool:) However you are 99 I would suggest a Russian woman about 30 to 35 years old.  Don't worry about a 65 - 70 year age gap because a RW matures much faster than an AW. Besides as men get old their pool of eligible women increases. So you don't have to go older because you don't have to.

Welcome the RWD  

Maxx

 

[corncrowe]

Shucks, Maxx.  I was probably drunk when I wrote it... (J/K )

That's depressing to me. You write with more clairity and wisdom when you are like that kitten in your avatar than I do at complete and sober attention. Well you got to say one thing about me, I know good advice when I hear it. I hope funfitguy99 does. 

BTW funfitguy99 does the 99 indicate your age? I have heard of some guys in their seventies that do this like Ronin's dad. Usually they are happily married to woman 50 - 55 years younger than themselves. Russian women are usually very traditional and prefer much older men closer to their grandfather's age for it's stability (and I-360 Widows Petition provisions :cool:) However you are 99 I would suggest a Russian woman about 30 to 35 years old.  Don't worry about a 65 - 70 year age gap because a RW matures much faster than an AW. Besides as men get old their pool of eligible women increases. So you don't have to go older because you don't have to.

Welcome the RWD  

Maxx

 
[/quote]
Maxx,

Are you OLDEDEREDRER!  '99' You don't know what this means?  OMG!  I'm forty-six and know...

Jon