Grocery Shopping with your FSUW

[Kuna]

I thought we could share a humorous thread regarding the strange and wonderful things our FSUW do while out grocery shopping.

Maybe I'm the only one that is "challenged" by this mundane task - and while it's never been something I put much thought into...  it's occupying more of my time lately.

I might start by reciting a few stories from our little "adventure" last night...  if anyone wants to add some others you're more than welcome.

[Kuna]

My wife is not fond of the tomatoes we have in Australia.  When grocery shopping I hear things like "These are not tomatoes. They are not real tomatoes. Where are the tomatoes?"

It cracks me up every time... I feel like I'm grocery shopping with my grandmother who used to be dismayed at the changing quality of mass produced fruit and vegetables.

Last night I just stood back and marveled at my wife working her way along the shelf at the green grocer smelling tomatoes and reciting those oft uttered words, "These are not real tomatoes."

Eventually she found a small punney of Cherry Tomatoes that tickled her fancy and she came rushing over to me demanind I smell them....  Of course I complied and as I was doing so she burst out with "THESE ARE REAL TOMATOES.  WE WILL TAKE ALL OF THEM"...

She loves her tomatoes... and I love watching her choose them!

[Kuna]

Last night I watched a frequently played out pantomine where my wife goes throughthe process of selecting the PERFECT item from a bunch of similar products.

Last night it was chocolate coated profiteroles...

I should have known there was the opportunity for entertainment when she was hovering around the bakery section but writing this allows me to store a memory from later reflection when the memories might start to fade.

She picked up a tray of approximately 9 profiteroles and looked at them with adiration and desire as she said to me, "I think I will have some of these... you would like the too won't you".
"Yes honey, if you want them you shuld just get them".

Tray #1 went back onto the shelf and tray #2 two came out for comparison... Tray #3 was added to the fray... Tray #3 went back... tray #4 came out... Tray #2 went back and then I got the look that says, "Sorry darling I am just trying to find the best ones".

I don't know how many trays of profiteroles were compared until finally the perfect selection had been made...  They were lovingly placed into the trolly and then with a gasp of excitement she say another troley with yet more profiteroles.  Her perfect slection came out of the trolley and the comparisons continued for a very short period of time when she finally grasp her final selection (Maybe tray #27) and we were off.

Profiterole selection successful.. We may now continue to the bread section!

[Kuna]

I've mentioned in here before My Wife's longing to reacquainted with Russian style bread.  We finally found a Russian shop selling Russian bread so I thought bread shopping dilemmas were behind us but last night I was howling in laughter (on the inside of course) when we passed the bread trolleys.

My Wife's biggest complaint is that all of the bread is too soft and she can't understand why it lasts so long before going stale.  Similar to the outcry over tomatoes she is sure the bread is not real bread, it is just something that looks like bread.

Now I agree with her totally but I guess we become accustomed to eating soft doughy bread that will last a full week in the pantry and the Russian Bread we've found is truly a delight to eat.  For this reason I didn't think we would ever go back to comparing bread in the shops.

Last night there was much poking of loaves of bread and comments that all of the bread, "has a strange smell". 

"It smells like Australian bread not real bread". 

The funniest thing is watching her pick up loaves of bread and smelling the plastic wrapping, trying to distinguish which offending loaf of bread has the worst (or most Australian) smell.

Last night I just joined in... picking up plastic bags of bread and smelling the bread before passing them to her saying, "Oh honey, this one smells so terrible, here, try it".

It's fun... call me crazy...  People look at us like we're Martians but even though we're not... but I know that our family are desperately seeking good bread!

 

[Kuna]

Hands up if your wifes has got a sweet tooth?

 

Yayyyy!

OK...  I KNOW we're buying chocolate.  Usually on the way to shopping I'm told we're NOT buying chocolate - but I know it's going to happen.

We ALWAYS spend a lot of time in the fruit and veggie section...  and just after the fruit and veggie section there is the sweets section.

Last night as we rounded the corner I was told we should get some chocolate to take to a friends house when we visit on the week end.  Gifts when visiting friends or family is a common thing so all is good...  I'm not confused or surprised yet...

The deliberations over boxes of chocolate was underway when all of a sudden there was a lunge towards the shelf and a lurch towards the shopping trolley with a hasty explanation that, "These are for me... just a small box for the week".

The chocolate gift deliberations continued.

I had a bit of a chuckle but didn't say anything but by the time we got to "Tea, Coffee and Sugar" I KNEW she just had to explain herself.

She says, "Honey, I know I said no chocolate this week but I thought we could get just one small box... You knowwww I like chocolate very much."

Such a cute look was on her face that if she wanted to buy a cocoa farm I wouldn't be able to resit!!!

He says, "Darling, I know you'll have chocolate every week and that makes me happy because it makes you happy"...

*Walking slows*...

OMG

We've come to a standstill in front of the hot chocolate section...  More deliberations have commenced and I can sense someone is going to be very happy this week...

Finally we're down to a choice of two...

She thinks, "Hmmmm... which one, which one... what will I choose".

He thinks, "I really wish she would just grab both because I've only slept 5 hours in the past two nights because of that damn project".

With great difficulty one was returned to the shelf (the one with the less flashy packaging) and the painted tin box of "Luxurious chocolate melts" was lovingly placed in the trolley.

That look was back...

I knew she wouldn't like the one she chose so as she turned to walk off I grabbed the one in drab packaging and threw it into the trolley. 

Experience tells me to keep all options open - and if chocolate makes a wife happy - the more choices the better!   

[Kuna]

As my wife is now pregnant she feels repulsed by the smell of meat cooking.

As a result, my diet has been slowly changing over the past week and without really noticing meat has slowly been extracted from my diet.

I'm not sure exactly when but over the past few days I was informed that I was becoming a vegetarian... because it will be "good for your health".

Now some may think this is totally reasonable but this is coming from someone who told me my home make gnocchi wasn't a "real dinner" because there was no meat.

Anyway...  fruit and veggie staples it is.

Last night when shopping my wife walked me right through the meat section telling me (with an enormous look of pride on her face), "This is all of the things you will miss now because you love me so much"...

God.... meat... who needs a steak cooked medium rare when you could imagine yourself ripping the plastic wrap off a whole rib fillet and taking a huge bite out of the side.

I was permitted later to buy some salami ("because you will not cook that") so at least I am not going to totally miss the slaughter of unsuspecting farm animals...  but the thought of giving up meat is a bigger mountain to climb for me than marrying a RW!!!

Something about the whole episode though highlighted perhaps the unusual measure of one's love...

It seems the more you sacrifice and suffer the stronger your love is.  My Wife actually commented that she knows my love is very powerful because she could see the look on my face as we were walking through the meat section. Again, that look of pride was back.

Privately though, I was planning the maximum number of business lunches I can fit into the next month until her meat aversion has passed!   

[Kuna]

I might be exaggerating when I say 25% but I just can't get over the number of cleaning products we seem to consume now.

I've been living "single" for 11 years now except for a 4 year "live-in fling" and a few shorter "eposides" - AND I would consider myself to not be the average male when it comes to cleaning - but I can promise you consumerism has succeeded when it comes to my wife's fascination with cleaning products.

Last night I discovered oven cleaner was good for frying pans if there is fat in the pans ("it cuts right into the fat much faster than anything else") - NO WONDER...  and I was informed that mirror cleaner was different to glass cleaner. 

Now I love a tidy home...  I love the fact that everything is in it's place and our apartment looks like it's self cleaning...  but I need to find a solution to the quality of cleaning products that are invading our house.

Of course I would be the same if I moved to a new country (in so far as seeking out my own favourite brands) but I'm thinking of setting up a little shop selling "Only used once" bottles of cleaning products...

I'm not complaining really...  I'm just trapped in a home-based testing laboratory for household cleaning products!

[Kuna]

OK... that's it from me for now... but don't even get me started on shampoo, clothing or cosmetics!

 

[dneid]

Hey, Kuna,
Thanks for the posts.  I am still chuckling over your thread.  I have a picture of you waltzing through the butcher area with that oh so longing look of carnivorous lust.  Should I tell you about the wonderful porterhouse steak I grilled tonight?  About 1.75 inches thick, cooked just a touch above medium rare and so tender that I never reached for my knife?  As I sit here belching in my delirious, carnivorous induced stupor, I think of you and wonder if I could ever really love someone who would topple me from the top of the food chain.

Keep posting these little trinkets.  I am loving them and I promise I will make every attempt to refrain from throwing the occasional barb your way.  But, the steak was one of the best I have ever had.  USDA Prime, not choice, but true, God's honest Prime.  Brought to you from the once great beef capital of the US.... Texas.

BTW, did you all know that the University of Texas Archeology department discovered the rough origin of the word vegetarian at an old native American dig out in the Big Bend area?  It turns out that the rough translation of this word means "poor hunter" !!

[I/O]

Kuna: Send her up this way for a straightening out on the shopping thing. Took me precisely 4 weeks to fix that problem. No I/O we only need one. We're having two...!! I put two in the trolley. I/O I need to look at this. No you don't, if you never eat it, whats the point of looking? Next isle. This bread is too expensive I/O. Good, buy the cheaper one, suits me fine. Next isle. I/O you buy (and drink) too much coffee, it is not good for you. It was good enough for me to make me good enough for you to fall in love with me. Two jars in the trolley NOW. I/O, those eggs are too expensive. Agreed..!! Buy the cheaper ones, next isle..!! I/O the butter finished early last week (with a perplexed look on her face) Of course it did if you insist on buying only one, put TWO in the trolley.

I/O if we come short of something I can come to the magazine and get. No you can't, I need to drive you and I am NOT shopping for food twice in one week, NOT gunna happen, buy TWO. I/O, how much money should I spend on food each week? Spend as much as you like, more if you want, simply buy good stuff, we are not poor.

I/O I want to buy this fish, but I don't think it is as good as Russian fish. Buy it, but I agree darling, you have my sympathy on this one, IMO Russian fish is the best. I/O, maybe we won't buy this fish? BUY the fish...!!

Now it is 45 minutes max check in to check out.

It can be done, I've proved, at least to myself, they can be reeducated. Now for the irony, last time we were shopping it was me who was lingering over some particular brand and her tapping her watch LOL.

Don't let her use the excuse of having a bun in the oven to pull rank on your sympathy side. Oh and chocolate, yeah that............morning noon and night. Not any more it ain't, at least not in the morning. As much as that is a Russian thing in my experience, under these circumstances, I think it is a bit of a missing home thing also.

BTW, it ain't all one sided, I've had a few lessons handed to me on how to shop for some things also and that has done me a deal of good.

I/O

[aikorob]

Not long after N. arrived I was cooking marinated deer steaks--she took a sniff of the marinade, screwed up her face and pronounced it "foo" Same reaction when she saw the grill marks on the meat
She proceeded to tell me (again) that she did not eat meat, only chicken.
The next time I grilled venison tenderloin, I cooked some plain, and turned it more often than usual (no grill marks)--she said this was only "half foo"---but over the next few days, all of it disappeared from the fridge.

The produce section is at least 30 minutes by itself---nuclear inspectors are pikers compared to her.

We went throught a similar "try every variety" adventure for juice and milk---I cannot remember the countless cartons that I had to finish---after she tried 1 glass and pronounced it "foo"   (her favorite word regarding most food here)

[Markus]

Kuna,

That's some funny stuff! I saw the title and thought about the experiences I had when my wife first came
to America. I remember people asking me how my marriage was going, and I responded saying I've learned something about myself that I've never known before; I'm always wrong. And my comment was partly from grocery shopping. Any fruit we wanted, I always grabbed the wrong ones. After repeat experiences, I got smart; I let her pick all the fruit. I just watched, and that's what I do today. I just push the cart and grab what I want for me. If it's fattening, I hear that too, but buy it anyway. I love it because I always think about what it was like without her.

Mark

[KenC]

Awwwww, you guys are all too cute!  Pushing the "trolley" or the shopping cart, going through the little debates about what to buy and making choices.

After almost 9 years together, I open the fridge and holler "Did you know we were outta milk?"
 
I have long ago explained to Lena that shopping was not a sport to me and I would rather have needles in my eyes than to just browse around a store.  On the rare occasion that I do go to a store, I know what I want and I go buy it without fanfare.  The exception is, of course, large electronic stores (TV, stereo, computers and gadgets)  When Lena asks me to go "shopping" with her, I say "sure Honey, as long as we can hit Fry's too." (Fry's is a mega electronics store)  Works everytime!
KenC

[dneid]

Hey, KenC,
I need to remember the Fry's line.  That, the local Cabela's, and the Craftsman section are the only stores I can actually just window shop in.  Well, let's add Victoria's Secret to that list if she is with me.

[I/O]

Awwwww, you guys are all too cute!  Pushing the "trolley" or the shopping cart, going through the little debates about what to buy KenC

KenC: Under most circumstances, I would agree with you and take a laugh at myself, however, being the miserable ol' bastard that I am, the "pocket" must be measured in the equation and I had a bad experience before with my ex whom I let spend whatever she wanted and buy whatever she wanted and she always had too much of what we never needed and not enough of what we did need. It was fine for a few years, but ultimately got completely out of hand. The ground rules WERE GUNNA BE SET from day one this time around.

I didn't quite succeed in my DAY ONE direction, but it hasn't taken long. The supermarket, I don't actually mind if I can do it at a reasonable pace, but I do loath dillying around for hours.

And..........BTW, yeah it is pretty cute pushing a trolley with your kid sitting in the seat part will the cutest doll in the shop putting things in YOUR trolley.

I/O

[timothe]

LOL...I was just in Fry's the other day thinking about how great it would be to show my Olechka this store.  (I think she's going to like Penney's better, though.)

This thread has been very entertaining.

[Gator]

I also prefer not to shop.  Besides in Russia I was allowed to select only the wine.

QUESTION:  How do RW wives do with a monthly budget, especially one involving their participation?

[KenC]

I also prefer not to shop.  Besides in Russia I was allowed to select only the wine.

QUESTION:  How do RW wives do with a monthly budget, especially one involving their participation?

Gator,
I tried just giving Lena free rein on the personal checking account but when she proved totally incapable of recording checks written or debit charges and I got tired of paying $32 a pop for being over drawn, I switched tactics.  I give her an agreed amount of cash every week for her personal and houshold expenses.  Now cash she understands!  She usually is OK during the week and I know she squirrels away the extra (like any good Russian).   It worksfor us.
KenC

[I/O]

know she squirrels away the extra KenC

Gator: Re budgets. Mine just loves it. Excel comes into it's own for her. A family budget is laid out on a weekly basis, she has it printed out and checks off every docket with it. She is comfortable and confident with such a system. As for her personal cash drawing amount, she draws every single cent up to that amount, religiously on Monday of every week, NOT A CENT LESS than the allowance.   Albeit, if the pink porcelain pig which I am not supposed to know about, which is not very well hidden under her side of the bed is growing fatter by the day.

She mentioned something she would like to buy the other day and I suggested one pig might need to schit before she could buy it. There was a look of horror, followed by silence and I notice the pig has changed locations.

Bottom line, my suggestion, yes certainly give your lady a written budget, give her cash and in my experience so far she will thrive on that. My experience is slightly different from KenC's, although I had the advantage of his advice before I started, she handles a debit card coupled with a budget extremely well, however she doesn't want, nor do I think she could handle, (at this stage) nor do I think it is applicable to us, a cheque book. Cheques are something we use less and less here. Almost all of my business transactions are handled by direct transfer now. I imagine similar in the USA?

She does not want to be responsible for internet transfers or similar at this stage, although there is several joint bank accounts and she does watch what goes on. She understands, but I think it is partly lack of exposure, partly Russian and partly woman, she would prefer I took responsability for all of that. She doesn't say so, but it is clear enough. Suits me fine.

I/O

[mischief]

Kuna, very cute posts... while reading I would get feeling that it's my husband writing ... we had the same fruit-vegetables-chocolate diet when I was pregnant with my first one, don't worry it might get better with the next one - I was craving only meat second time around... when is the baby due??

[mischief]

Any fruit we wanted, I always grabbed the wrong ones. After repeat experiences, I got smart; I let her pick all the fruit. I just watched, and that's what I do today. I just push the cart and grab what I want for me.

LOL Mark, same here... what's wrong with you, guys??? You can never get it right!!! 

[Gator]

I/O wrote,

She mentioned something she would like to buy the other day and I suggested one pig might need to schit before she could buy it. There was a look of horror, followed by silence and I notice the pig has changed locations.

Now that made me laugh big time.  So a budget consists in part of feeding pigs and squirrels.

[I/O]

Now that made me laugh big time.  So a budget consists in part of feeding pigs and squirrels.

Gator: The weekly allowance is not minor, but it is moderate. She often seems to come home with some new item of clothing, BUT I notice the pig's cheeks are rather bulging. God knows how much is in there, I suspects it is thousands rather than hundreds. (In a relatively short space of time)

Back to the point of your question, I really would advise, based in my short expreience, a clearly defined budget. Mine was floundering a bit before that was introduced. Not now. 

I/O

[KenC]

I/O wrote,

Now that made me laugh big time.  So a budget consists in part of feeding pigs and squirrels.

Absolutely!
When Lena and I came up with the "magic number" I didn't think it was outrageous.  So if she wants to pinch a penny here and there and accumulate her own private slush fund, God bless her!  I really look at it as "her" money.  She earned it through being thrifty  It really has worked well for us too.  It is Lena's "guilt free" money to blow as she wishes.  Please don't get me wrong, Lena is well provided for in all ways financially and if expenses are higher than usual, I readily pony up.  And if I am ever in a momentary cash crunch, she proudly floats me a loan from her personal fund.  That "loan" is always paid back promptly too.  And no, before you ask, there is no vig added to it.
KenC

[SANDRO43]

BUT I notice the pig's cheeks are rather bulging.

An inflatable pig ? Must be new technology, in my time one coud only insert coins through the top slot, not wads of banknotes .