Hello from Michigan

[eagle59]

Hello, I am a new member and have read quite alot of various threads on this site and appears to be ALOT of information from much experience of many members. Nothing like experience and wisdom...Last March 07 I visited Nikoleav and met a girl I was talking to thru an agency. I needed an interpeter to talk with her and she looked much older than her pictures. At the same time she lost her job and was in legal disputes with her ex who had beat up her daughter who was 17. The whole thing was a nightmare. I decided this was definitely not going to be my girl....However, before I left over there, I was at a cafe and happened to meet an english speaking girl Tonya, she was the "typical" good russian/ukraine woman I hear about and we enjoyed a few days together and off I was back to the US...my intuition told me she was not the one for me...even though she was attractive, compassionate....etc. There was just a few wierd, quirky things that sent up some red flags...

Now, I am currently talking with a girl from Cherkassy and have been since Oct 07. I was scheduled to go in end of Dec 07, but had to reschedule due to work and family issues and changed my flights to 19 March. So, next week, away I go again back to Ukraine to meet new girl. The interesting thing about this dating method is thru correspondence, letters and phone conversations, you get to know someone on the inside first before you actually meet.
Val is a teacher in Cherkassy and one of the things she teaches is English. I have been talking to her a few times a week on Skype and we have gotten to know each other quite well. I can even sometimes finish her sentences and know her responses. We have both been divorced 4 yrs, so we are in the same time frame as far as relationships. Her ex is in the military and had an affair back when with a young girl in russsia, Val and him got divorced and now is is remarried and he and his new young wife recently had a new little baby. Recently, he calls his daughter and also talks to Val and told Val he still loves her and his new wife is a bitch and could they get back together...Val laughs when he told her this and she is very happy to be "free' from him now. He was also very controlling about what she wore, how she should have sex and many other bad issues. They had a daughter together and now she is 18 and attending a 3 yr university for economics. She will be 19 in April. they both have international passports and Val's ex still supports his daughter with school expenses, and other things, so he is not really a "dead beat dad" I am a single dad and raised my 3 children, pretty much on my own since 1996, as their mother is alcoholic. My oldest is 28 in the Air Force and the 2 younger ones are 22 and 24 and they are moving to Arizonia this summer to continue their schooling. Val is meeting me at the airport and it just happens to be her 40th birthday on that day (20 Mar)  and mine is (21 Mar). We obviously are both very excited and have high expectations of our future. I am serious and committed if we get along well and plan on making more trips over there in the future. Any suggestions or ideas or feedback will be very welcome. Looking foward to talking with you guys....

[KenC]

Welcome to RWD, Eagle,
I wish you well on your pending trip.

There has always been some reservations raised here about getting too deep into a relationship prior to meeting face to face.  The fear is that one's imagination will just pump up their own fantasy take on the situation to a point where no real person could ever messure up.  On the other hand, you could just go meet the woman of your dreams as I did some 9 years ago!  I hope for you it is the later.

As I lived most of my life in Michigan (and sit here wearing my Tiger cap), I wonder where you are located in Michigan?  I also have a son living in Pheonix too.
KenC

[2tallbill]

Eagle, Welcome to the RWD and good luck with your future.
If the Dad is providing support you could run into a snag in the
future about bringing the daughter to the US. Of course it's early
to speculate about such things but it's something you might want to
keep in mind.

Udachi ...........Good luck

Bill

[eagle59]

Thanks guys for the welcome...and your advice. I have a very good intuition about Val. We'll see what happens..."you never know what the day may bring"..."life is journey"...
Life is all about choices...and wisdom can be a wonderful thing to have when making them. Thanks for any and all of your advice.

Tom

[catzenmouse]

Welcome Eagle!

 Another Semi-Frozen Mid Wester! Can you see the ground yet? We've got a few patches of brown showing through finally here in South Central WI.

 Sounds like you're on a good path so I'll just wish you good luck on your trip and we'd love to hear more about your impressions and experiences.

Ken

[myrddin]

Welcome!   

Here a bit south of Ken we're being tantalized with ground-revealing melts that are quickly frozen into black ice.  Fun!