Why Do You Do It?

[Gator]

...I'm mostly confused as to why some people here deliberately go out of their way to date FSU women.

I ask because, generally speaking, dating women from another country and culture is 1) more expensive, 2) more difficult, 3) more time consuming, 4) probably less likely to result in a successful long term relationship (to name but a few).

Yes, yes, yes, no. Marriage is not about saving money nor is it about taking the easiest and shortest path; it is about the heart.  Your No. 4 is conjecture.   


Of course I have a few ideas that probably fit some (maybe the majority?) of the guys here that do this;
 
1) You are socially inept and have no luck with women in you own country and you hope that FSUW will be more tolerant or accepting (or blind to because of cultural differences) of your peculiarities.

Men who have failed in their home country will most likely fail with RW, maybe not in the beginning but for sure a couple of years into the marriage.

2) You think you can score a woman that looks much more attractive than one you can score in your own country.

I can not overlook the fact that many, many RW are good looking.  In fact I would not travel that far for a blind date with a plain woman.  Nevertheless, if a man is so smitten with beauty as to ignore her character and compatibility, he will join his inept pal in No. 1 above.   I assume "score" has a positive, dignified meaning to you.  It does not in Yank speak.

3) You like women much (much) younger than you are and the only way you can get them is to import them from a country with economic or sociopolitical problems or from a culture that is more accepting of large age differences.

Personally, I prefer many things about women not much younger than me.   The fact that my RW was much younger gave me great concern, so much that courtship became years rather than months.   I discovered that what I was missing with an older woman was amply compensated by what she offerred in adventure, intellectual curiosity, energy, refreshing attitude, sense of family, femininity, two delightful kids, etc.  I met other young RW and they did not do it for me.  So it is the RW, not her age.  If a man focuses on age, I feel that he will join his pals from No. 1 and 2 above.


Yes, I know, this in no way covers all the reasons of all the people here and it is not intended to insult but I guess anyone with two eyes can pick out a few posters that fit into one or more of the above, right?

Don't be jealous of the older men monopolizing the pretty girls.  The leftovers are still very attractive and are now better trained.


So please, if you feel like it, could you explain to me why you date women from the FSU rather than from your own country?

My journey began as a combination of travel adventure and a quest to see what these RW were about.  It seemed too good to be true yet perfect for a man who enjoys travel and in need of another "Divorce Starter Kit."  Presto!  I met some wonderful RW, and somehow they liked me.  It grew from there, and has kept me for 6 years.   In fact, I can not imagine dating anyone from my local peer group.

[SANDRO43]

Sandro: With "Lungs" Like that, I'd suggest she'd make a rough pass if examined. If you ever got a glimpse of them, you'd either return to youth or expire on the spot or both.

Sigh, I'll just quote the ending verses of Giacomo Leopardi's (1798–1837) most famous poem, L'infinito:

Così tra questa Immensità s'annega il pensier mio:
E'l naufragar m'è dolce in questo mare.
(Thus in this immensity drowns my thought,
  and it's sweet to be shipwrecked in this sea)  

[KenC]

Motivations may very with age .

Yesterday I received a 'flirt' (I like you !) from this 29 y.o. Kharkov nurse, who'd be a shrewd investment on my part, considering my advanced age. However, since she states in her profile:

How often do you want to have sex ? At least once a day

I'll have to ask her how good she is at administering CPR  .

But what a way to go, Sandro!  Some risks are worth it.
KenC

[SANDRO43]

But what a way to go, Sandro! 

Definitely, and I can picture her nimbly tip-toeing away afterwards, as in the photo . Must be a beginner, she uses her FULL name as nick, and not on any list yet.

[2tallbill]

I find myself hard pressed to call or consider myself a loser or a social outcast. I am a salesman and walk up to people I have never met and introduce myself, my company and my products with stunning success. I just can't see a social outcast able to do this. If people don't like you rarely will they buy anything from you.

I have seen a number of people in this quest that calling them social misfits would certainly apply.

Just my two kopecks,

Bill

[KenC]

Sandro: With "Lungs" Like that, I'd suggest she'd make a rough pass if examined. If you ever got a glimpse of them, you'd either return to youth or expire on the spot or both.
Excellent post...!! Read carefully guys, there is a lot in this one.
Yep, the Euros have gotten to you with political correctness. My great grandfather on one side was a "Morgan" and my heritage on the other was from the "Liehbeldt" line, so I don't tend to mince my words so much. A pursuit riddled with losers and scumbags whom you must actively avoid in airports and other human bottlenecks if you don't want to be lumped in with them. Believe me, I am a proud Australian, very proud, but I DO go to some lengths to avoid many of my countrymen (Not all of course) when abroad and particularly in the East.

I think you will find the majority of guys who make to these forums, even the ones I have little patience with, are far above the majority of people involved in this pursuit. The irony for me, is that it was my now wife who introduced me to forums.

S/J, get used to the idea that if you do end up with a wife from a developing country, which like it or not the FSU countries are, you are going to have to deal with the MOB thing, the labling of being a dropout who can't get near a woman of quality at home and a host of other stereotypes. I have two close mates who gave me a working over regarding this thing when I announced my then G/F was coming to visit from .........................Russia... :hairraising: I think they had mental images of some 6 foot 4 inch, 200 pound, scarf wearing man eater wielding a Kalashnikov.

When a 5 foot 8 1/2 inch, 117 pound blonde showed up looking superb in jeans (The acid test for me) and notwithstanding limited language, debated everthing from geography to economics with them, one just fell silent and the other drew me aside with this comment, which I will never forget...."I/O whadda ya reckon, if a I tidied myself up a bit do you reckon I might be able to get one of them too". LOL. I still get questions like, "How's your MOB doing?" My standard answer is, "As well or better than your LLA". (Local Lard Arse) S/J, you will have to deal with all of these types of things from the idiots, but people with some class will become largely disinterested in the fact that your wife is a foreign citizen and look to who she is as a person. I was at a small theatre production a few days back and it is frequented by a few of the wannabe/wouldbe/havebeen silver tails of this city. I overheard a remark concerning my wife which gave me quite a buzz. Some ol' geezer remarked to another, "Have you met I/O's new wife? How refreshing to see a young woman who is a first class LADY, she is top shelf." I enjoyed manipulating the situation a few minutes later to put them face to face in conversation with Mrs I/O and it was so fun to watch. She spent some considerable time charming their socks off and they did likewise.

Whats the point out of all my waffle? Point is, as it was in the other thread, you need to arrive at the point where you really don't give a rats arse what others think, how you stack up by comparison, where you fit into the social strata etc and simply decide this is (If it is) the best thing for YOU.  YOU need to set YOUR own standards. YOU need to mark out YOUR route. YOU need to hoe YOUR row. I suggest what you are doing right now is actually something slightly another from asking these specific questions. You are embarking on process of some INTROSPECTION, And..............anyone who is anyone with any real experience will tell you/advise you that you MUST do that if you are to make it through. You really Must.

Ask yourself the tough questions and be brutal with your own answers. If nothing else, it is good practice because most Russian Women are fairly tough and brutal with their questions and answers and in that respect, they DON'T change after marriage.

I/O 

I/O,
Great post, mate!  Wise words throughout.
KenC

[Swisskid]

SANDPRO - one word -  CIALIS!!!

JADED -

As a recently divorced (< two years ago) 45 year old American male, I personally am tired of the "dumbing down" of American popular culture.  Every year the culture seems to become less and less sophisticated and respectful of intellectual pursuits while glorifying retarded "Reality" programming and basically encouraging boorish behavior.  The world is a large and wondrous place.  My country America has a population of only 300 million while there are over 5 BILLION people populating the rest of the planet, of which over 2.5 BILLION are women.  I think many of us are simply interested in expanding the dating pool. 

The attraction for me of FSU women is that they seem to appreciate and value art, culture, grace, and intellect MUCH more than he average AW or WW these days and actually want to carry on an intelligent conversation about something more than who was just ousted from American Idol last night.  I have no problem dating women locally, I just am tired of the shallowness, self-centeredness, and total lack of any motivation to be interested in anything other than their own narrow-minded view of the world that I keep running into in these women.

I am travelling to the Ukraine on May 1 - May 11 to start burning up some of the 7 weeks vacation I have accrued for this year.  Yes, I will hit some of the agencies in Mariupol and possibly Sevastopol, but I also want to enrich my appreciation and understanding of another culture as well as learn about their history, customs, cuisine, and geography.  I am going on a learning vacation to enjoy myself and enrich my knowledge of another culture.  It seemed a logical place to visit due to the dollar being so low against most other world currencies, no visa requirement, general good will toward Americans despite our belligerent head of state,
and I am also a huge history buff who has always dreamed of traversing WWII battlefields and museums.  If I can do these things in the company of a lovely FSU lady, all the better.  If I do not find a special lady on this trip, so be it, I still plan to have a wonderful time enjoying the area and soaking up the culture and basically having an enlightening, intellectually and spiritually stimulating experience. 
I am a production manager as a production facility that is operatiing 24 hours per day/7 days per week and I work the 2nd (aka Swings) shift, I am not home in the evenings during the week.  I also have visitation with my 6 year old daughter evey other weekend.  One of the other weekends per month I usually have to work on my yard or house doing yardwork and/or home or car maintenance.  This leaves approx. one weekend per month for dating.  Not alot of time.  I have met many women locally online and acually just broke up with a 31 year old single mother who has a Bachelor's degree in Biology from Virginia Tech and is currently working on a Master's degree in Environmental Engineering at Old Dominion University.  We dated on and off since we met last summer.  I liked her but as time went on I saw indicators that this relationship was not going to work out long-term.  To my relief, she apparently saw this as well a couple weeks ago and broke it off with me.  I hate dramatic breakups and I was happy she initiated it because I have been wanting to break it off with her for a little while now.  This week I guess she had second thoughts and she called me up wanting to get back together and when I declined she started drunkenly cursing at me to the point where I had to hang up on her. 

My ex-wife is now 33 years old and she started screwing around with a guy from her work place I guess because I was not around in the evenings.  I am not working 2nd shift by choice, my company shut down the facility here I used to work at (Days shift for 6 years) right before they were bought out by a private equity firm.  I was forced to move to Swings shift at a different to stay employed with this company.  Such is life in Corporate America.  After 11 years with them and all of the benefits of that tenure in the form of salary, vacation, 401(k) match, I would have a difficult time finding a comparable-paying position with another company in my field in this area.  Unfortunately the dating pool around here for one my age involves mostly divorced single mothers with children from the Navy guys that they left or left them.  I have nothing against kids but I do not want to raise some other guys 2 or 3 kids for him.  I already did that with my ex's son from her first marriage.  Not to mention about half the women I see walking around in my city I think outweigh me!  ( I am an ex-college football player and I am 6' 4" tall and weigh 225 pounds).  It is not a pretty sight.  Yikes.  In the summer my town fills with tourists but the women are looking for a good time which is great for short term fun but not really conducive to seeking a life-long relationship.  Summers are never boring though!       

Jaded - you make some valid observations about some of the posters here but I think the reasons and motivations of many are much more complex than your initial conclusions might indicate.  In any case, good luck in what you are looking for and best wishes to you.  You certainly did start quite an interesting thread and that is what this forum is all about......         

[Ade]

Muj,

no, not at all worried, this is more curiosity on my part. Usually I do my own thing regardless.

FWIW, some of my colleagues have already taken the pi$$ a little but hey, that's ok I usually take the pi$$ out of them for various things and I understand that Norwegians have a certain, um, unrealistic view on Russian MOB.

Ade,

Why so worried about everyone else?  You're afraid neighbors might  classify you into your list as above?  Did you avoid a high tech career because it was for nerds, outcast and social misfits?  It's internet dating.  Most receiving letters from FSU women never make the trip even after lengthy correspondence.  Many others simply not interested.  Sure, a fair share of loosers on both sides of the pond and former wall.

[Ade]

I/O, dude, you should be careful, any more posts like that and you'll destroy the knuckle dragging, fosters drinking stereotype that you Aussies are famous for. 

And yes, I'm asking myself some of the tough questions which maybe I'll write about eventually once my flu laden mush mind is back to normal and I've formulated some reasonable answers (and questions).

[I/O]

I/O, dude, you should be careful, any more posts like that and you'll destroy the knuckle dragging, fosters drinking stereotype that you Aussies are famous for. 

LOL: The key word highlighted above. Fosters... :hairraising: No self respecting Aussie drinks the stuff, we export it to all the poor suckers who will buy it. Knuckle dragging? Yeah there is a few evolutionists around, so I guess someone has to be the "Missing Link". Ah well, the price of living in paradise.

I/O

[FredC]

Jaded,

I'll tell you why I did it. After using on line dating sites for years, I came to the conclusion that if the lady that you are interested in is more than 100 miles away, the distance becomes irrelevant. If things work out one of you will have to relocate. Then after being contacted by many FSUW I finally decided to reply to one. After writing to several, I finally made a trip to Ukraine where I met my Nina. She is a lovely lady that I have a great connection with. Now only time will tell where it will eventually end. Just MHO......Fred

[Faux Pas]

LOL: The key word highlighted above. Fosters... :hairraising: No self respecting Aussie drinks the stuff, we export it to all the poor suckers who will buy it. Knuckle dragging? Yeah there is a few evolutionists around, so I guess someone has to be the "Missing Link". Ah well, the price of living in paradise.

I/O

Thank gawd ya'll brew something better than Fosters. My Aussie meter is pegging up somewhat. What is it?

[I/O]

Thank gawd ya'll brew something better than Fosters. My Aussie meter is pegging up somewhat. What is it?

Anything, you name it, there is a dozen or so beers brewed here and pick your poison, anyone of them would be better than Fosters, not that I am a great fan of any of them. If I do ever have a beer which is not often I can't bring myself to go past the Mexican drop.

I/O

[IAmZon]

A interesting thread with great contributions, so I wish to amplify and add my perspective...

Particularly Eduard, Gombau (sp), and I/O had excellent points.

For me, I have spent few days in the states this year.  The time that I have spent, I have enjoyed the company of immigrant communities that retain their FSU flavor.  I have been in Central and South America a great deal. 

I find myself at an unique "BRINK".  This gives an additional perspective: I am old enough (mature enough) to relate to most of the old farts on this  board, yet I still have the appearance, energy, and behavior to mix in my local settings at a high rate of speed (which means youthful). This will not last forever; perhaps not even long.

Immediately after my long term relationship, I would have thought I would have found more possibilities with quality women (beauty, intellect, personality, character) than is the truth. My experience is very similar to what Eduard describes. There is little worthy of pursuit; and once pursued looses hope do to my dissolutionment in her (bitchy, baggage, uninteresting) ... or her dissolutionment in me (After the fun, few US girls really want to get serious with a guy 15 - 18 years your senior?)

I think if I reeled in the age range of ladies I date in the US, I would be intellectually satisfied, but at a cost.  On a superficial level - few American ladies (few women anywhere) can rightly be called drop dead sexy after the age of 40.  On a practical level, few women over the age of 40 are looking forward to starting a family.  Which is something I consider strongly in the back of my mind.

Girls I have dated in Latin cultures are as beautiful as beautiful gets. They honor the man.  They are very capable of committment.  There is no gender role confusion. They are fun. I misspoke.   Girls I know from Latin Cultures are FUN!  Yet, there is a simplicity that prohibits the type of connection I am able to have with American and European ladies.  In the name of being thorough I will continue to test this premise for a time.

Adios

PS.  The quality of discussion at RWD is on the rise.  Congratulations all.

[Muj]

Ok Ade, many opinions here in the US on "MOB"'s as well.  It's internet dating with more choice for all.

[2tallbill]

When I first read your post I was very adviserial. I thought that you considered most of us here as flakes, misfits and social inept.

After reading more of your posts I have reconsidered this. I now think that you are meandering through this process.

Udachi ...........Good luck!!!

PS. sorry about the spelling I tried the spell check but my words were too far off to come up with a better spelling.

[MaxxumUSA]

Jaded,

I just noticed this thread.  I am unsure if you had a chance to read my story and thoughts about RW vs AW so I will restate in a general way my impression and experience with both.

First - AW.  My opinion of American women is extremely low.  First you have the fatties that don't give a crap about how big they are or how they look.  That seems to be about 1/2 of them.  Then you have women that are not fat but not because of any reason other than genes.  A lot of those women simply don't take care of themselves and are not all that attractive.  Then you have the good looking ones ranging from cute to georgeous.  This last group is what I dated when I was single.  And it was a pain in the ass.

These good looking women for one thing are rare so they KNOW they are in control in a relationship.  It is easy for these AW to not be interested in family and marriage.  Some of them believe that their career is more important than anything.  Some believe that partying and screwing whomoever whenever is their right.  Which it is.  Almost NONE of them are interested in good old fashioned getting married and supporting their husband.

Physically - step into your local wal-mart to see the "average" american woman.  Take note as to how many are overweight as opposed to in shape.  Take note of women who are dressed nice compared to not.

NOW - The RW.  On average - completely opposite.  Walk almost anywhere in Russia and you will see that nearly all women are dressed with feminine looking clothes.  They care about their bodies and if they happen to be overweight they probably have a gym membership and are working on getting thin.  They typically have their make up, hair, and nails done the best they can.

The RW I know, including my wife, are interested in creating and caring for a family.  They are interested in being a life partner with a man.

I could go on and on however I can say that if for some reason me and my wife don't make it...  I will never be with another AW in a relationship.

Can I get a hotter woman from russia than USA?  Well...  yes.  This is because the RW will judge me based on more than just my hair line.  They will judge me based on my ability to care for her and the family we create.  My wife judges me based on our time together.  She is uninterested in going out on the town unless it is with me.  She is uninterested in building a career unless it is to better help our household.  She is unselfish, caring, giving, and loving.  I have never had any american woman even come close to having these qualities.

She is only 8 years my junior which is the same age AW I used to date.

As for the hotness - you be the judge.

Oh... and if you go to Russia for one visit I am sure you will be sold.

[Ade]

There seems to be a theme I'm picking up on in a number of guys (not all for sure) posts in the forum; they seem to want an "old fashioned" type of relationship where the woman "knows her place", stays at home "to build the family" and is "there for her man" and they think that a FSU woman will give them this.

To me it sounds like there's a bunch of guys that would like to turn the clock back and have a 50's and earlier type relationship rather than a partnership of equals, or am I totally misreading this?


Max,

dude, your woman is pretty enough I guess but looks are just one part of the puzzle. Without the other attributes that I find attractive she may as well be made of stone. And, btw, I live in Scandinavia, land of the slim blonde beauty so FSU women don't impress me just for their looks any more than the beauties I see where I live.


Bill,

I guessed you'd read that into my initial posts and that's okay, I expected many more people to see them like that. But no, I don't consider this place to be entirely full of weirdos and flakes but you have to admit that there are at least some that have posted here that fit into those descriptions. And there are others here that seem to have what I'd consider to have an odd view on women and their "place" in the world.

For what it's worth I, like I/O there, consider myself to be a little offbeat, a little eccentric if you like. I'm certainly not your average Joe and I think people that are using MOB services and taking trips to the FSU to find a bride should also find it difficult to consider themselves "average Joes"

[Misha]

There seems to be a theme I'm picking up on in a number of guys (not all for sure) posts in the forum; they seem to want an "old fashioned" type of relationship where the woman "knows her place", stays at home "to build the family" and is "there for her man" and they think that a FSU woman will give them this.

To me it sounds like there's a bunch of guys that would like to turn the clock back and have a 50's and earlier type relationship rather than a partnership of equals, or am I totally misreading this?

Well, IMHO the "traditional" wife thing is simply the rationalization. Somewhat like men saying they buy Playboy for the articles. Looks is probably the main driver of the MOB business: men expect to find a more beautiful wife in the FSU than they could find back home.

[mark2353]

I think that you are correct that most men would rather have the "traditional wife" vs the "modern. With the modern you never know where you stand because it is rather skewed equality. The woman wants the doors open and treated like a equal and when she still has the expectations all the expectations of the benefits so!!! confusing for us men? YES!
As for men looking at the FSU for beautiful women yes! and perhaps for that more traditional woman which we know the boundaries and we can easily treat like women. It is not so confusing and make peaceful life together.  I can not speak for other men but most of the women in the playboys are not the type I would consider spending much time with (definitely not lifetime partner!). They just have a good Facade!

[Gator]

To me it sounds like there's a bunch of guys that would like to turn the clock back and have a 50's and earlier type relationship rather than a partnership of equals, or am I totally misreading this?

You have not been reading RWD long or otherwise you would know that is not the case with the majority of active posters.  Besides, RW are far from compliant and subservient so any man with this fantasy is in for a rude awakening.  My impression is that the happy men are with strong women who take pride in their femininity as opposed to feminism.

dude, your woman is pretty enough I guess

Your line of work is obviously not sales nor in judging beauty.  Max and his woman have a great relationship - may you be so lucky.

I don't consider this place to be entirely full of weirdos and flakes but you have to admit that there are at least some that have posted here that fit into those descriptions. And there are others here that seem to have what I'd consider to have an odd view on women and their "place" in the world.

Not "entirely full" + "some" +"others" suggests to me that you consider more than half of the RWD men to be exactly that.   You are starting to come across as arrogant; either that or you are agitated about something.  Why bother to discuss something in a forum where the members are beneath you?

For what it's worth I, like I/O there, consider myself to be a little offbeat, a little eccentric if you like. I'm certainly not your average Joe and I think people that are using MOB services and taking trips to the FSU to find a bride should also find it difficult to consider themselves "average Joes"

You finally said something with which I agree (and my friends would agree with your "offbeat" descriptor).

[Ade]

You have not been reading RWD long or otherwise you would know that is not the case with the majority of active posters. 

Please point out where I said, "the majority". Oh, that's right, I didn't did I?

My impression is that the happy men are with strong women who take pride in their femininity as opposed to feminism.

There seems to be a common theme among some here to denigrate feminists. I find it amusing to say the least. 

Your line of work is obviously not sales nor in judging beauty.  Max and his woman have a great relationship - may you be so lucky.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say? She was pretty enough, not my type though, so what exactly? I’m glad you pointed out to me that their relationship was good. Nice to know, although I’m not entirely sure what that has to do with anything. Did I insult you by not falling over myself praising her beauty or something?

Not "entirely full" + "some" +"others" suggests to me that you consider more than half of the RWD men to be exactly that.   You are starting to come across as arrogant; either that or you are agitated about something.  Why bother to discuss something in a forum where the members are beneath you?

Again you're putting words into my mouth, please don't. And I think your math is a little off as not entirely + some + others is exactly 23%. 

Please don't pull the arrogant card on me for reading here and interpreting what I see. And again putting words into my mouth - where do you see me saying that the members here are beneath me?

You finally said something with which I agree (and my friends would agree with your "offbeat" descriptor).

I guess you meant that to be slightly insulting right? Bully for you.

And one thing; it would be really useful if you learned to quote properly.

[Gator]

Your need not explain your reasons for choosing "SeriouslyJaded"; it is self-evident.

Have a great day.

:kissing:

[BillyB]

There seems to be a theme I'm picking up on in a number of guys (not all for sure) posts in the forum; they seem to want an "old fashioned" type of relationship where the woman "knows her place", stays at home "to build the family" and is "there for her man" and they think that a FSU woman will give them this.

What's wrong with building a family, knowing your place or role in the marriage, or being there for your man or woman? For those who want equal rights, are these bad and outdated beliefs of the 50's?


I got no problem taking out the garbage and fixing the car and bringing in most the income in my relationship and my fiancee has no problem doing the dishes and taking care of the kids more than I because she can probably do a better job. My fiancee knows her role and she wants me to play my role of being a MAN, a role she knows she's not good at.

It's silly to keep score on who's turn it is to wash dishes. How many equal rights women volunteer to mow the yard or fix the home or do the hard, heavy and dirty work around the house or automobiles? Why can't people agree to do what they do best and in the end, a man and woman in a relationship will compliment each other with their skills?

[Zhena]

Jaded,
reading all your posts made me curious about what you think of those women,who marry the guys from here? I kinda suppose what you think,though would like to hear your opinion
(whispering: I think ,you re somewhat snobby )