New letters, new ladies.

[phantom]

Started with some new ladies after that other one.  These ladies, at least want a faster meeting.  Some said they'd like to write for a short time, one, two or three months.  One however, I wrote her, she wrote me back and said she likes my picture, letter and thoughts.  She pretty much wants to meet me now.  That was quick.  No phone calls, one letter and come on over.  Then asked if it was possible.  I'm not gonna spend another year in correspondence.

[SANDRO43]

One however, I wrote her, she wrote me back and said she likes my picture, letter and thoughts. She pretty much wants to meet me now.  That was quick. No phone calls, one letter and come on over.

Maybe TOO quick ?

Then asked if it was possible.

Who asked whom ?

I'm not gonna spend another year in correspondence.

Good, but don't go to the opposite extreme, either .

[Simoni]

One however, I wrote her, she wrote me back and said she likes my picture, letter and thoughts.  She pretty much wants to meet me now.  That was quick.  No phone calls, one letter and come on over. 

Makes total sense.  Why should she write to someone who may never come?  Or write for months only to finally meet the guy and not like him?

[SANDRO43]

Makes total sense.

In her reply to his very first letter ? Well, either Phantom is a first-strike lady killer, or our ideas of 'making total sense' are VERY different :noidea:.

[Shadow]

In her reply to his very first letter ? Well, either Phantom is a first-strike lady killer, or our ideas of 'making total sense' are VERY different :noidea:.

I was chatting with someone from Belarus who tried to make me meet the first day.
Too fast to make sense for me.

[Serebro]

Started with some new ladies after that other one.  These ladies, at least want a faster meeting.  Some said they'd like to write for a short time, one, two or three months.  One however, I wrote her, she wrote me back and said she likes my picture, letter and thoughts.  She pretty much wants to meet me now.  That was quick.  No phone calls, one letter and come on over.  Then asked if it was possible.  I'm not gonna spend another year in correspondence.

That's impossible.
If the girl wants you to come now she doesn't believe in long-term correspondence...
she has evidently read a thread on antidate where girls wrote that if he doesn't want to come soon, leave him.

[phantom]

This one really got me by surprise with that, as the other ones wanted to write for a short period and then see what happens, and phone calls.  I was surprisesed by that one.  I wrote her back and said a meetings possible, but after one letter?  I mean, I'm not doing a year again.  I have different ways of getting time off, aside from my vacation.  The other ones figured 1-3 months, then see if we want to meet.  That seemed reasonable.  But, one letter back and fourth?

[phantom]

Who asked whom ?

she asked me.

[Simoni]

It's just a date.  Nothing more.

And no, I would not go to just meet her.  But do go to date as many girls as possible.

Four or five letters makes sense just to know something about the girls.  After that, what do you have to talk about?  Without getting too serious before you meet?

[HazyKnight]

And no, I would not go to just meet her.  But do go to date as many girls as possible.

If you only touch the surface with many, you could miss out on finding one who is really compatible, right?

[groovlstk]

If you only touch the surface with many, you could miss out on finding one who is really compatible, right?

HK, if you search for various acronyms (WMVM, WOVO) you'll see this debate of meeting one or multiple girls during a trip has never really been resolved. Suffice it to say, it's a personal decision and each guy must make up his own mind on what fits his character best.

That said, I'd advise guys caught up in this conundrum to drop the romantic chivalry for a moment and make sure they know the implications. I made several trips during which I visited a single woman, and on at least two of those trips I realized within the first 60 seconds that we were incompatible, despite trading many emails and photos prior to our meeting. Believe me, it's no fun blowing 5k on a trip and knowing within the first minute that it was for nothing. That looooooong flight back home offers plenty of time for restless soul-searching and self-criticism. Anyway, how many trips per year can you take? If you plan on meeting one woman per trip, can you deal with the fact that it can take you years and tens of thousands of dollars to get to the very first step, finding someone with whom you share mutual attraction?

All food for thought, and FWIW despite my experiences my last trip to Russia was to visit one woman, who is now my wife.

[HazyKnight]

HK, if you search for various acronyms (WMVM, WOVO) you'll see this debate of meeting one or multiple girls during a trip has never really been resolved. Suffice it to say, it's a personal decision and each guy must make up his own mind on what fits his character best.

That said, I'd advise guys caught up in this conundrum to drop the romantic chivalry for a moment and make sure they know the implications. I made several trips during which I visited a single woman, and on at least two of those trips I realized within the first 60 seconds that we were incompatible, despite trading many emails and photos prior to our meeting. Believe me, it's no fun blowing 5k on a trip and knowing within the first minute that it was for nothing. That looooooong flight back home offers plenty of time for restless soul-searching and self-criticism. Anyway, how many trips per year can you take? If you plan on meeting one woman per trip, can you deal with the fact that it can take you years and tens of thousands of dollars to get to the very first step, finding someone with whom you share mutual attraction?

All food for thought, and FWIW despite my experiences my last trip to Russia was to visit one woman, who is now my wife.

I don't even know where to start looking for those acroynms. Could someone please point me in a right direction, here or in a PM?

I've already been to Russia, and it was pretty much a wasted trip for that one woman. I didn't know within the first 5 seconds, and I was determined to find out the truth to everything, which was another waste of time. My conclusion so far is that I should write to several and go when ready. I can't make ANY trips right now. I'm too young, and my career is still building.

That long flight home sucks big (you know what). I've been there twice on that one.

[Simoni]

I'd advise guys caught up in this conundrum to drop the romantic chivalry for a moment and make sure they know the implications. I made several trips during which I visited a single woman, and on at least two of those trips I realized within the first 60 seconds that we were incompatible, despite trading many emails and photos prior to our meeting. Believe me, it's no fun blowing 5k on a trip and knowing within the first minute that it was for nothing. That looooooong flight back home offers plenty of time for restless soul-searching and self-criticism. Anyway, how many trips per year can you take? If you plan on meeting one woman per trip, can you deal with the fact that it can take you years and tens of thousands of dollars to get to the very first step, finding someone with whom you share mutual attraction?

That is a very serious quote Groove, and one that all newbies who think they are in love before meeting a girl should take to heart.  Chances are good that you WON'T fall in love with the first girl you go visit.  So plan on making many trips if you are a write one, visit one kind of guy.

BTW-- I was at the beginning.  Like Groove, I found myself with one girl for a week.  But in an hour of meeting her, I was counting the hours until I could escape.

So I evolved into a write many a few letters and go an meet many kind of guy.   When I met my wife, I was on a trip where I met 8 girls I had been writing to.   Met her, had chemistry, and did a visit one trip to her the next time.  That is what finally worked for me.

[SANDRO43]

I don't even know where to start looking for those acroynms. Could someone please point me in a right direction, here

The RWD Glossary in the 'Main Menu' at left .

[2tallbill]

Phantom, your new avatar is a vast improvement.


Bill

[catzenmouse]

Excellent points there Groov!

You just never know how it will happen, when it will happen, or with whom it will happen. When I met Elena I did not have any previous contact with her and had never seen her profile. I went to meet someone else and by chance met Elena.

Things took over from there and now here we are and she's been putting up with me for over 3 years. Being open to the possibilities around you is another way to broaden the chances for finding the one.

[phantom]

Phantom, your new avatar is a vast improvement.


Bill

I decided to put myself on here. 

Also, in doing this again, I've decided to steer clear of the woman that are younger than 28.  Got letters from some of the 19-24 year olds, but not going to write them.  Looking at the older ones, which is what I've decided on.  There's two born the same year.  One is two months older, one ten days younger.  Then there's a couple of them in their mid to late 30's and some with children, which I also like.  So, when I gave it some thought, that was the direction I decided on going this time.  Older and I'll be making my first trip this year. 

[BillyB]

Why should she write to someone who may never come?  Or write for months only to finally meet the guy and not like him?

If the woman is telling the truth that she really likes what Phantom says in his first letter and likes the way he looks, she will take a chance and invest some effort in knowing him. It doesn't take much for these women to invite every Tom, Dick and Hairy over for a date and most likely those women who invite strangers over wholesale end up liquidating most of the men in the first date.

I'm also leery of women who invite strangers over without wanting to know them better. Smart women know there are a lot of nuts out there on the internet but the reward of a shopping adventure on a date may outweigh the risk.

Cheap letters and phone calls can eliminate RW men have no business visiting. People underestimate the written word but one can read this forum and see people are very different based on what they write.

[Simoni]

My point BillyB is against letter writing and going to see one girl.  I don't see anything wrong with Phantom going to meet this girl, and I'd rather see him do so now than in his writing her for six months.  He should go meet her-- but others, too.

One letter?  Sure, why not?  Perhaps this girl is simply calling the bluff of men who write and write and never come.  Is the guy really interested in a possible relationship?  Then come meet me.  But having said that, it it true that one's scam alert should be on high if she says she wants to meet him after one letter--that is, if she starts talking mushy in the next few letters.  However--

It's just a date.

I write from the perspective of my own experience.   I started out writing one and visiting one.   Spent lots of time and dollars doing that.  I finally concluded that it's better just to get over there and meet girls.  Go on dates like you would have through "Just for Lunch" here in the US.

The process of getting to know a girl through many letters and phone calls is flawed because you really don't know if you click until you meet in person.  So I'd advice anyone interested in dating fsw women to meet first, find someone you know you have chemistry with, and then get to know her and see where it leads.

Just my advice.  Others have been successful doing it a different way.  So there is hope either way.

[BillyB]

One letter?  Sure, why not?  Perhaps this girl is simply calling the bluff of men who write and write and never come. 

Some girl's job or Boris, the employee of the month, is to get men over to the FSU quickly so money could be made using the agency and the women get free gifts and dinner. Also a guy may go through 20 dates here or in the FSU before finding someone suitable to marry. It's a lot more expensive trying to date in the FSU and I don't blame guys for being smart with their money writing and phoning. Some guys have limited vacation time too. $5 phone calls can prevent you from wasting it. If a guy is going to seriously consider spending $5000 on a vacation for a RW who invites him over on the first letter, she should give him some of her time on the phone.

The process of getting to know a girl through many letters and phone calls is flawed because you really don't know if you click until you meet in person.

What you will find out with writing and phoning is the ladies you certainly don't click with. It's a process of elimination. If you can't have a comfortable conversation on the phone with a RW, you certainly won't have one face to face. If she writes liberal views and you're conservative, then it's best not to pursue her.

One only has to read this forum to understand some have more brains than others or simply some people's views are so different that there's no way they'd go on a date if he/she's the opposite sex. After a while you begin to understand if a person has or doesn't have religion, their views on politics or World events, and how they act in a public forum. We all form an opinion of each other and while we may remain friendly with people with opposite views, most of us could not live together.

A sincere RW would respect a man who is cautious and wouldn't travel across the globe for the first pretty face that writes him. If you visit a woman based on her looks without much to go by, then you will have something in common with sex tourists. Personally I like to know something about the person I'm visiting. A RW would feel a man values her more when he spends some time calling her and trying to understand her for who she is, not how she looks. Phoning a RW is a serious step before meeting her. Most failed trip reports I read involves men who never phoned their RW before visiting her. Not phoning a RW before visiting her happens more often than not. In the months my fiancee's profile was up, I was one of two guys who called her. She had up to 20 guys a day writing her so most men writing don't phone IMO. A lot of shy or lazy guys out there.

If the RW in question really has the hots for Phantom based on his photo and his first letter to value him enough to ask him to visit, she should be eager to speak with him on the phone and write him. I certainly would put more effort into digging for a lady who is a potential diamond than a rock.

Phantom, here's what I did when a RW asked me to visit on the first letter. She modeled in Europe and was a top woman from every agency she was at so I understood she's flooded with keyboard romeos and flakes. I told her I appreciated her invitation but I will not visit her just because she's beautiful. I told her I've have the time and finances to visit Russia but I need to know more about her as a person and I need at least one month's correspondence through phone and letters before I commit to any RW. I let her know that I understand she has many men writing her but I too am writing many RW and I will visit the one that gives me the most effort.

She wrote back and told be she found me to be a very interesting man and she will give me what I want. Unfortunately for her and other RW I wrote to, Natalia and I hit it off fast.

[Ronnie]

Writing is not only a waste of time and money in most cases for the lady but also for the man.
Some ladies have taken the position..."Okay, here's my profile,if you're interested I'll consider meeting you IF you come here...otherwise, don't waste my time."

Statistics show that the vast majority of WM are keyboard Cassanovas.  Some married and bored.  Some too timid to get on a plane.  Others...who knows.  My wife had stacks of letters (snail mail) that guys sent here.  None of them ever traveled to FSU..even though one worked for an airline.  Further, on her small income the cost of correspondence... postage and stationery.. was prohibitive.  She even had to trade services...babysitting for translation services in order to carry on the correspondence.

Guys.  Get yourselves to the FSU or forget the whole enterprise!

[Ronnie]

We met a WM/RW couple recently.  He did a WOVO and got lucky - perhaps because she was over 40 with a child.  Also, it's clear she paid no attention to his height, ethnicity or age.  Good for her if she's sincere and lucky for him.

For the rest, the writing process is more often than not, dissappointing and so is phoning.  I have suggested before and i'll suggest it again: some agency networks will give you a lady's contact info you purchase a $15 flower delivery, even if it's just one rose.  The key is that the agencies must take photos of her and email them back to you at once.  Often these photos don't resemble the ones you've seen heretofore.  My first fiance is still listed with here original photos that were taken when she was 29-30.  They are now ten years old!

As to the cost of a trip.  There's no reason a trip has to cost as much as the numbers here quoted.  Off season, a rt ticket can be a little as $600-700 (depending on where you live).  If you have acrued miles by using an airline credit card, you can go for the cost of taxes.  Apartments are still available for $50/day.  All told, a two-week trip can be accomplished on 2 grand and you'll have met/dated perhaps 5-10 ladies depending on how the early dates go.  At the same time you'll gain a greater understanding of the process.

[groovlstk]

Writing is not only a waste of time and money in most cases for the lady but also for the man.
Some ladies have taken the position..."Okay, here's my profile,if you're interested I'll consider meeting you IF you come here...otherwise, don't waste my time."

I don't think this should be considered a blanket statement. All women are different and the ones who are most adamant about meeting w/out correspondence are usually the most jaded. I didn't find my wife via an agency but when I was using agencies I always concentrated on women who had joined most recently as they were less cynical.

I'd agree it's foolish to write for six months or longer before planning a trip, but even for folks who hate writing letters the correspondence period can be useful to determine the most basic compatibility factors.

[HazyKnight]

I wrote my X for a year before I went to see her. I wanted to make sure she could handle the wait, and would be patient. She was, but when we met, everything turned to crap real quick. Now, I'm of the opinion: write a few, meet many, and go within 2-3 months of beginning correspondence.

[phantom]

I think that there should be some kind of communication before any kind of a meeting, unless your set up on a blind date.  I'd expect to exchange at least a few letters and talk on the phone with the woman.  I'm not timid about getting on a plane and don't plan to spend the money in communication, like some sort of game or because I'm bored.  I plan to go pretty soon here actually, meet a few, even take more than one trip, which unless I'm lucky, I'll have to do.  Was actually going to go last year, but I fell into a depression, coupled with panic disorder they called it.  I'm not going to spend a year locked into correspondence again, but at least a month or two.