Still in Sevastopol

[CCowboy]

Hi Group,

I just finished my first week in Sevastopol.  Strange week.  In preparing for this trip, I used mainly http://www.flirt.com.ua.  I had about 8 confirmed meetings with an equal amount as back-ups.  The first meeting was upon my arrival in Simferopol.  A very nice woman but learned that her photos were about 4 years old and older and heavier than I expected.  But she was very helpful getting me to the bus to Sevastopol.  I was met by the wife on a friend from another list and taken to my apartment.  It's located a couple of blocks from Hotel Ukraine and I couldn't be more pleased.  It's a recently converted 3 room apartment that was made into a very large 2 room.  Very modern and they did a great job.  Cost...$900 for a month.   I also had Internet installed and everything cost me about $40 for the month.  After resting up, I stocked up on food and then began meeting a few ladies.  One nice woman who I'll probably see again, one princess waiting for her rich prince, and one woman who has a very good job and life in Sevastopol but lacks male companionship.  She'd rather stay and be with a local man.  Then about 10PM Thursday, I felt a sharp pain in my side which I recognized as the beginning of a kidney stone.  Having them before but it had been 7 years, I knew flushing my system with water was the best thing to do.  Twelve hours later I passed the stone but not without taking 6 Excedrin for the pain which caused major acid reflux.  Without any sleep, I was a mess.  No appetite and still feeling queezy, I stay inside Friday and most of Saturday.  Thank God I had Internet.  I was supposed to meet another woman but when she replied that she wanted to meet for supper(at an expensive place I learned) I suggested meeting at a cafe for tea and dessert.  No reply.  Then when I saw her online, I wrote her about being sick...no reply.  Two day later...no reply.  I had given my cell and apartment numbers to all my meetings, but only one woman tried to contact me...the lonely one.  Deciding I'd better change tactics, I visited a local agency called 3G Introductions, which is located in nearby Hotel Ukraine.  I had a nice chat with Galina and also an ex-pat named Mike who lives in Sevastopol.  I gave Galina details about my past experiences, my disappointments with most agencies I've used, and what I was looking for in a woman.  Galina went through her entire data base based on my critieria and came up with a dozen recommendations.  I narrowed it down to 6 and then gave her my order of preference for meetings.  Previously I made the mistake of having an agency contact women in no particular order and they seemed to always save my favorites to the end so I'd have a large meeting fee to pay.  BTW, Galina charges $20 per meeting.  So after 3 hours, I have potentially 6 women to meet who all meet what I'm looking for.  Now I have to see if I'm what they're looking for.  My first meeting is Monday afternoon and I'm setting up one meeting at a time.  I've still got several women I can meet from Flirt but since I'm here for a month, meeting one or two a day is fine with me.  If anyone wants contact info regarding the apartment or anything else about Sevastopol, just ask.  Weather has been great but still cools off once the sun goes down.  Sevastopol is a very clean city and the city center is small so getting around is easy.  Lots of reconstruction going on at the harbor for some upcoming celebrations.  I imagine May 1st will be party time as it is throughout the FSU.  From Sevastopol...Robert 

[BillyB]

I guess flirt.com was more like flop.com. Did you call the ladies often before coming to town?

[CCowboy]

No, everything was by e-mail.  As you know, most ladies speak little or no English so phone calls have little use unless you have a professional translator to help.  For a woman I've never met, that's almost the same as sending money, except the phone company gets it.  Even though rates are very low, I think phoning before meeting has little effect, except to hear the tone of her voice.  Flirt is not a total flop, but remember than when you're on a free site like that, the prettiest women are contacted by every Tom, Dick, and Harry and many of them are real dicks.  Some women are content to exchange a 5-10 e-mails and then "we will meet after you arrive".  Other's are trying to fall in love and will exchange very personal e-mails, like the woman from Simferopol...over 80 e-mails between us.  With nearly 2000 women profiles on Flirt from 35-49 in the Crimea.  A lot of women have been burned by long term correspondence, and then they get the "I've met someone else" Dear Jane.  Flirt is a mixture of sincere marriage minded women, those looking for a local boyfriend, those looking for sexual adventure, some agency women, professional daters, some "pros offering sexual companionship for a price, and women who lack the appearance to attract local men.  It's free to contact but for all the man hours it takes to narrow it down to those who are seriously interested in marriage with a foreign, it's slave labor.  But like today, I had nothing planned so I called up one of my Flirt gals and we're meeting this evening.  Elena is very pretty, blonde, very tall (5'10"), about 145lbs, and seems serious and interested.  It only takes meeting the right one at the right time for any system to work, even agencies like Anastasia or Army of Brides.  Flirt is just another tool and it's free, if you can navigate the site since it's all in Russian.  I can and I speak very little Russian.  Later     

[AnastassiaAsh]

No, everything was by e-mail.  As you know, most ladies speak little or no English so phone calls have little use unless you have a professional translator to help.  For a woman I've never met, that's almost the same as sending money, except the phone company gets it.  Even though rates are very low, I think phoning before meeting has little effect, except to hear the tone of her voice. 

Wow, I haven't heard such an opinion in my whole life, not even once!  I understand lots of men are counting their dollars and are very careful, but CCowboy, are you another Scrooge MacDuck, or what?  I suppose it is ok to be like that but if you are not in this process. You have to be prepared to spend at least the very minimum, and calls are in that minimum. How can you go and meet a woman without talking to her first? What if all those letters have been written to you by fat Yuri? I think you have to change your approach a little bit. And I am not saying this as an interpreter, but more as a woman who knows a lot about how to actually succeed in this...

[CCowboy]

Hello AnastasiaAsh,  And a pleasant hello to you too!!!!  Are you always so quick to judge people?  You call me cheap?  I have spent more money than most people on this list.  Just last year I made 4 trips to Ukraine, to the same city, but not to meet women using agencies.  My general opinion of agencies is they are either very dishonest or somewhat dishonest, but none completely honest.  Especially when I have been in the U.S. and using agencies before a trip.  I could tell you many stories about fake letters, professional daters, and translators making a woman seem much more interested in a man than she really is.  Why would I want to spend $3-4 per minute through an agency to talk with a woman I've never met, who might be nothing more than a hired translator.  It happens all too often.  So what I do is exchange basic information with a woman and much more detailed information the stronger interest.  The purpose is only to agree to meet.  Everything else is cyberspace and fantasyland.  Since 90% or more of the women do not speak English, it does little good for me to call them directly.  IF, I had a serious relationship with a woman and I needed a professional translator to interpret on a 3-way call, of course I would do this.  But I firmly believe that until two people meet face to face, the only thing to pursue is to agree to meet.  Even then, I have met far too many women who think it is OK to post photos 4-5 years old and present themselves to be much more desireable than they really are.  I am surprised that a woman who appears to be intelligent is so quick to judge a person.  I may at times appear to be cynical, but I have learned it is better to be cautious than to believe that everything I see and read is truthful.  I have become much more of a realist and I wait until I meet someone face to face before I form opinion about a woman as she will form opinions about me. 

[CCowboy]

So, what is your problem?  That I don't use the services of you or someone like you to talk to a woman I've never met and who may not be at all like she appears?  I do not try to fall in love or establish a serious relationship over the Internet.  The Internet gives two people an opportunity to meet.  It is the man who bears the expense of traveling from the U.S. to meet a woman/women.  Corresponding can build a friendship and an interest to meet and maybe something more special will happen.  But as we all know, the women we meet is usually a miss rather than a hit.  It is a crap shoot and what we hope is that one woman will be the right woman.  So, until there is a guarantee that I can write to one woman, make phone calls to one woman, and then when we meet we will fall in love and live happily-ever-after, I will continue to look at this only as an opportunity to meet but open to the possibility it can become something more.  More can be said, but this is enough.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Ccowboy, at least this is how your first post in this thread made me feel. I totally understand what you are saying, and I am really sorry you had bad experience with agencies and can't trust them (this happens to most of the men), but i just wanted to say that in my opinion you can't afford NOT talking at all to a woman before you go and see her.

I understand you traveled a lot and not afraid to spend money for your trip, and that is really good, but it all becomes a little less productive if you don't do your 'homework' well enough or good enough.

It seems you are stuck with the mistrust towards translators, interpreters and other people from agencies who sucked your money in without actually truly helping you. You have to find somebody who you can completely trust and do what you have to do BEFORE you have a trip. Why spend $2500 for a trip while you can spend 100 times less for a call that just may be an eye opener for you and you decide not to visit that woman after all... ask your woman to send you fresh pictures, 'demand' from her to write you at least twice a week, ask her whatever you need to brake that 'fantasyland' as you said and make it all more real for her first of all. We know too well what agenda each agency has and most of the time it works against you, all though there are exceptions of course.

[AnastassiaAsh]

So, what is your problem?  

My problem is that it hurts to see how much money AM are literally throwing away to something useless instead of applying much less to something that will lead them to finding the love of their life. I am not talking about me in particular, but any other good and trustworthy interpreter living in the US who can help you. If you read other threads on this board you will see I am actually very busy helping those men who are tired of miscommunication and lies on behalf of both women and agencies.

You are absolutely welcome to Regal Translations, but you have to research for yourself first and find the best translator/interpreter for you who you can sincerely trust. But that doesn't form at once either.

That's all. 

[AnastassiaAsh]

But as we all know, the women we meet is usually a miss rather than a hit. 

Do you want me to help you with that? For it to be a hit you have to do more homework. Yes, at the end there will be maybe less women you will visit, but they will be good potential for the relationship to work out. In my opinion it is better to gravitate towards quality more than quantity.

Very sorry for your kidney stone experience, hope you feel better now and ready to meet your other set of women on Monday with a smile. 

[CCowboy]

Hello AnastasiaAsh,  Yes, I know you have a very good reputation and I don't disagree with you.  But no amount of phone calls are going to replace physical chemistry/attraction.  I don't have a problem with a woman being real.  Most of my problems have originated with an agency using various means to extract as much money as possible as a man.  It took me a while to learn that business "ethics" in the FSU are quite a bit different than those in the U.S., although we do have our share of scammers.  However in the FSU, there is usually little or no recourse.  I've been at this long enough that I've gathered too much knowledge from my experiences that caution is more dominant with me than being blindly trustful.  I've written one visited one before or at least had a primary woman I was going to meet.  I'll never do that again.  With one woman, I explained that I'm not a smoker or much of a drinker.  She wrote the same about herself.  But the first day she must have a cigarette, "only one when I drink champagne or wine".  She didn't consider that really smoking.  Physically she was everything I expected but by day 3 she was smoking and got falling down drunk.  Good-bye.  Even after that, I gave her $100 to pay for her agency correspondence...because I promised.  Another woman decided after 3 months of corresponding and then meeting, she was only interested in a European man...probably a way of saying she wasn't interested in me.  Then she wanted me to take her and her girlfriend out to dinner because it was Valentine's Day.  "Only about $300".  Another woman I primarily went to meet...after her letters to me were so puffed up by the agency...thank you Cindy Agency...that I was sure she was THE ONE.  So, after spending about $75 for correspondence, then another $60 for a nice dinner, another $30 for the translator....it was "Thank you for the nice dinner...good luck.  These are not 20 year olds but women about 40.  On the last one I didn't do my homework.  Afterwards I learned that she was with several agenciesdating back 5 years.  She was 40, single, never married, no kids, very pretty.  When I told my story to another agency, she asked, "Was her name Natalia?"  Bullseye.  So, I've decided to use the write to many, set up some meetings with the favorites and have other's as back-ups.  So far I've met 4 women from Flirt, all were real, but none I'd be interested for marriage.  I had a 5th to meet tonight....a back-up.  She changed the meeting time from 7 to 7:30PM, changed the meeting place to an upscale cafe, then didn't show.  It was a nice walk in the evening, the waitress spoke good English and we had a pleasant conversation, and a woman so flacky and inconsiderate not to call she'd be late is not a woman I'd be interested in.  She was somewhat aloof in her correspondence which she was not a woman I was primarily coming to visit.  Of the 4 I met, 3 were very sincere about finding the right man where the 4th was looking for her rich prince.  At 43, she'd better get real and get out of her dreamland.  All three of the other woman wanted to continue to see me but for two of them, the physical chemistry wasn't there and the other was very involved in creating a new business in Sevastopol...an honest agency.  Only the woman in Simferopol was serious about building a new life outside of Ukraine.  So while Flirt has not been productive so far, I still have another 10 or so potentials.  I also visited 3G introductions as I posted before.  I think agencies are OK if you're able to meet in person, you're experienced to know when you're getting BS, and you don't just hand over $200-300 and meet a bunch of women.  Meet the one who interests you the most, and if the feelings are right on both sides, don't meet any other women and give the first one a chance to grow.  I usually visit for a month at a time so I'm not rushed to make fast decisions.  I don't understand how a guy can meet a woman on Monday and by Friday he's engaged and starting the fiance visa.  But that's Russian Roulette.  BTW, I think your husband is a lucky man. 

[ScottinCrimea]

CCowboy,
    In spite of the kidney stone, I hope you're enjoying Crimea.  It's too bad I'm not there so we could meet and I could show you around a bit.  I'm actually jealous as I really miss Crimea.  I had some experience with #G's Introductions back when it was the Athena Agency (not in a dating sense) and overall my impression of them was quite good.  They did some favors for me and didn't expect anything in return.  I do know someone in Simferopol that you may be interested in meeting.  I'll PM you with the information.

[AnastassiaAsh]

CCowboy, everybody goes about chemistry in their own way, for some pictures are enough and some have to go there and determine that later. I agree with you. I don't recommend visiting just one woman unless she is very fluent in English and corresponds with you every single day from her own computer and everything else is what you hoped for in a woman. But as you said most of the women don't know English or not well enough to be able to communicate with you freely.

That's where agency steps in and takes advantage of every single thing you need. It is absolutely outrageous that they want to go to expensive restaurants but as soon as you proposed a little cafe, she was gone. You shouldn't have given those $100 to that smoking and drunk woman. Why did you still go out with a Valentine's girl while she said she was looking for a European guy? Or did that happen later?

Why going out and having nice dinners with them? You don't need that to attract a nice lady. Vice versa, if you narrowed down to one or two really good ladies, it should be THEM who should invite you to their own home made dinner for YOU! They should be the first to show you how much they appreciate that you came to visit them....and then only after that, as a true gentleman, you can get her out to eat or buy her a bouquet of flowers or do something nice …Never ever start with spoiling them. Also very often it is clear that you are not the first priority for them – changing time of the meeting, not calling and not letting you know about their plans, disappearing completely or something else – all bad signs or a bad start.

If a woman is serious about finding a foreign man, she shouldn't even want to go to restaurants or other places to 'spend time', she will just want to see you and talk to you, at the agency, at her place or in the park or going to some places of interest. Personally for me, everything else is just a waste of both money and time. In worst case scenario I will always have respect towards man's money and time and will tell him the truth openly and clearly. Everything else on women's part is called 'use' and 'abuse'. And I see you have been too much through that.  Sorry about that.

I am really glad you are there for a month and truly hope you will meet two or three who you would definitely want to come back to.

BTW, I think your husband is a lucky man. 

Thank you, he knows that and I have just reminded him again about that. He laughed and said Yesss.  I am very blessed too. 

[Swisskid]

Hey Dave,

Nice to meet you in Sevastopol.  I enjoyed our conversation at the restaurant with Taz and the girls.  Were the Victory Day festivities in Sevastopol awesome or what?  I got back home last night.  Taz is still stuck in Chicago it sounds like.  I can't say enough positive things about Raisa's agency in Mariupol so I would recommend you check it out on your next trip.  Mariupol is a pleasant little city that IMHO gets a bad rap because of the steel mills there.  I found it no more poluted than any major US city as far as air qualty and most days I was there it was quite clear with no smells.  Full trip report will be posted soon but I just wanted to say hi.  Those 5 days in Crimea were the highlight of my trip.  Enjoy the rest of your stay!
 

[CCowboy]

Hi,

I just returned from Sevastopol, still a little groggy and jet-lagged after my 61.5 hours to get home.  I'm going to post under "Trip Reports" so if you'd like to read about my "adventure", check there.

[CCowboy]

See how jet-lagged I am!!!!  I am in Trip Reports.  Before I get into the heart of my report, I want to say that Sevastopol is a great place to visit.  It's very easy to get around and there are many cultural places to visit.  During my stay, there was Orthodox Easter Sunday, International Labor Day, The Victory Day parade and celebration, and the reenactment of the May 1944 Battle of Sevastopol.  There's also Panorama, a must see, and Chersonessus, the Greek ruins.  The area around the harbor is always very busy and a popular gathering place, especially in the evenings and on the weekends.  It had been 7 years since my last visit and it was easy to see that Sevastopol has prospered since then.  It remains a very popular summer tourist attraction both for foreigners as well as Ukraine and Russian tourists.  But as I was advised, it's probably not the best place to meet a potential wife. 

Once I got past my initial health issues, the rest of the trip was without further problems...health wise.  As I mentioned earlier, I used Flirt.Com.ua to set up the initial women to meet, which I had never done before.  Although I did meet some pleasant women, overall, it's far too time consuming for the results.  It's always said that writing letters is one thing but meeting is a whole different situation.  In this case, nothing could be more truthful.  While I approached this as nothing more as an opportunity to meet and kept my letters as penpals, I discovered that nothing can actually take the place of meeting face to face.  Flirt.Com works much better as an alternate source to meet women rather than your main approach.  It was easy to meet a woman just by saying "hi" once I was there rather than spending time writing beforehand.

Once I met..or didn't meet...my intial contacts, I visited an agency called 3G Introductions which is part of the Angelika Network.  The director is Galina who is really sincere in wanting to help both the men as well as her lady clients.  I gave Galina my parameters and she came up with 6 recommendations.  One woman was in Simferopol and we later learned had decided to abandon her search for the next 3 years while her son finishes the university.  Another woman I found on nearly every site associated with Sevastopol, and a third woman was out of town until a few days before I was to leave.  That left me 3 women to meet, which I agreed to meet one.  BTW, introductions cost $20 each.

The first woman I met at a local cafe and we seemed to hit it off from the beginning.  She's well educated, a doctor, and everything seemed to be going well.  She has a 13 y.o. son who lives with his father and he's already stated that his son will not leave Ukraine....a good dad.  Just as I was beginning to think I had real possibilities, she informed me she wants to have another child, which I don't.  She'll be 39 in July and no matter how much I explained about the risks of having a child in her early 40's or that nearly 100% of men interested in a 40+ y.o. woman is not interested in having another child, she was firm on her decision.  The next woman I met was another who I seemed to hit it off well in the beginning but that too fizzled.  She's looking for a rich man so she doesn't have to work and wants a life of leisure and to travel.  Mighty big expectations for an attractive 42 y.o. woman.  The third woman was a nice woman but not nearly as attractive as her photos.  Then I met my 4th and final woman through 3G.  I was told never married, no children, working on her career, but is now serious about her personal life.  I learned differently.  She was divorced, no children, taught math at a local university.  The reason for her divorce was her husband was too sexual and she thinks sex is OK for the first year or two but the "romance dies and is not necessary for a real marriage"  I got the feeling that marriage to her was more of a business partnership for companionship.  Had I known the information I learned from each woman before we met, I wouldn't have met any of them.  I told Galina she needs to know basic facts about a woman before she recommends them to a man.  I was specific with Galina about not wanting children and not interested in a woman whose main motivation is finding her rich prince.  I gave Galina examples of a few women from Flirt.  I'll just say that Galina has her heart in the right place and in genuinely interested in putting the right two people together, but she needs to know the important facts and the main motivation about a woman before she recommends them.  So, my trip was much more of an enjoyable vacation than anything.  I think because of the better than average standard of living in Sevastopol, women are not as interested in relocating as they were several years ago. 

I would also like to tell you about the apartment I stayed in.  It is a former 3 room apartment that was completely remodeled into a large 2 room apartment.  Everything seemed less than a year old.  It was a 5 minute walk to Hotel Ukraine which has an Internet cafe next door for $1/hour.  It's a pleasant 20 minute walk to the harbor.  I had cable Internet installed so you can have Internet service.  I paid $20 for the month and $14 for the installation.  The apartment is $50-$60 per day depending on the time of year and length of stay, which is reduced the longer you stay.  I paid $900 for the month.  I also had my private translator.  Yana is the wife of an ex-pat who lives in Sevastopol but she also lived in the States for 5 1/2 years.  Excellent English.  Yana can help you with your apartment needs, shopping, and excursions.  I was charged $5/hour for her time....which is a bargain.  Yana can be reached by e-mail at yanakey@yahoo.com.  If there are any specific questions, just ask.         

[CCowboy]

I want to add my travel experience.  My trip began in Raleigh, NC with my connecting flight in Chicago.  This was through American Airlines and partnered with Turkish Air.  Turkish Air is no longer affiliated with AA and joined 5 Star Alliance (United and USAir).  So, I flew Turkish Air from Chicago non-stop to Istanbul...about 11+ hours.  From Instanbul it was a quick flight to Simferopol.  Turkish Air was great to fly with and we even arrived about 45 minutes early.  To get to Sevastopol from Simferopol, you can hire a taxi...about $40-$50, take the electric train, or take the bus.  I took the bus for less than $4 and it takes about 1 hr 45 min.

On the way home, I was flying out of Dnepropetrovsk.  I couldn't get a return flight out of Simferopol using my miles.  I opted for an overnight train that departed at 5:10PM and arrived in Dnepropetrovsk at 6:45AM.  Cost was about $19 for 2nd class.  Once in Dnepropetrovsk, I made my way to the airport using a minibus.  You can use a taxi for $20-$25, but the minibus usually costs about 40 cents.  Since I had luggage and took up 2 seats and the aisle, I was charged $1.20.  One of the great things about Turkish Air is if your connecting flight isn't until the next day, they'll put you up at a local hotel.  I had a 16 hour layover.  It's not the FOUR SEASONS but the ALL SEASONS.  You must get a Turkey visa ($20) but they take you by shuttle about 30 minutes to the hotel.  The rooms have 2 single beds, a mini-frig, AC, and TV and are very clean.  You'll get a wake up call and then there's a buffet breakfast with hard boiled eggs, various cereals, fruit, meats, yogurts, cheeses, breads, and juice and coffee.  Then it's back to the airport...all for the $20 visa.  It took about 12 hours back to Chicago, then to Raleigh, and then my 2 1/2 drive to Wilmington.  Maybe I was just lucky, but I had no travel problems, other than it was just long.     

[Swisskid]

Welcome back Robert!  Glad to hear you enjoyed the rest of your trip even though no "connection" was made.  Sevastopol is indeed a great town.  I thoroughly enjoyed my 5 days there, especially the Victory Day festivities!  Potato House chili rules!

[CCowboy]

Yes, Sevastopol is one of the best places to visit in Ukraine.  For me, Sevastopol was my back-up plan.  There are a lot of places more expensive that I wouldn't enjoy as much.  It was also good for me to see the changes is Sevastopol since my last visit.  Just think that less than 15 years ago it was a closed city and in that short time, women's attitudes have changed along with it.  In some ways that's good but some women are at the age they can't continue to wait for their rich prince.  That goes for men too who are looking for the eternal needle in the haystack.  Maybe our mutual friend will think seriously about his lost opportunities.  It's always important after each trip to objectively understand what went right, what didn't, and realize this is an expensive high risk high reward endeavor.  Many guys are looking to hit that grand slam home run which is very difficult to do and extremely rare...especially their first time at bat...but it does happen ocassionally for a few lucky guys:-).  Rather than publicly posting my personal conclusions following my return, shoot me an e-mail to robert44usa@yahoo.com.....photos included.