Just wondering...How do we make RM and AW feel?

[roykirk]

I haven't had many interactions from AW concerning my girlfriend, but of course she's not here with me yet either.  That could change.  I do have a fear of what my ex-wife's reaction will be.  Why should I care?  Well, she is really a wonderful person in many ways, and we were married for a long time.  When I asked for a divorce, it devastated her.  She's finally back on her feet and starting to date again.  I just hope that should my girlfriend and I get married, that it doesn't derail her to see me with this beautiful woman who is 12 years younger than her. 

As far as RM, it's been mostly positive.  I get weird looks from some RM on the streets, but my GF says it's because I dress strange compared to most Russians.  Could it be that, unlike most Russian men I've seen, I don't have a mullet?     The few RM I've met personally who are friends or are husbands of her friends have been very nice.  One insists on bear hugging me every time I see him and calling me up on my cell phone constantly when I'm in-country to bs about all sorts of stuff.  The last time I left I swear to God thought he was going to kiss me.  I think he has a boy crush.    

One thing that may affect how people react to us is that we discussed early on being on the same page when it came to telling friends and family how we met.  We both tell people that we met by chance while on vacation.  It's true, except the "by chance" part is a little fib.  We both just felt it would be easier than having people make comments about MOB websites or about Internet romance or something. 

[AnastassiaAsh]

All I can say - Who cares? Why should I care what AW or RM think about this? I don't care a bit, and advise not to think about it twice. They are all to blame that we are looking for a partner somewhere else!

Ronnie, why would you ask such a question? To make somebody feel some remorse or pains of consciousness? I personally have nothing of this sort and never will! I am blessed to have found my happiness with the best American man and now with the Canadian. The more I live my life here with this kind of person the more I feel blessed.

[UTRO]

I am blessed to have found my happiness with the best American man and now with the Canadian. The more I live my life here with this kind of person the more I feel blessed.

Pardon Anastassia,......... Canadian??

[UTRO]

I haven't had many interactions from AW concerning my girlfriend, but of course she's not here with me yet either.  That could change.  I do have a fear of what my ex-wife's reaction will be.  Why should I care?  Well, she is really a wonderful person in many ways, and we were married for a long time.  When I asked for a divorce, it devastated her.  She's finally back on her feet and starting to date again.  I just hope that should my girlfriend and I get married, that it doesn't derail her to see me with this beautiful woman who is 12 years younger than her. 

As far as RM, it's been mostly positive.  I get weird looks from some RM on the streets, but my GF says it's because I dress strange compared to most Russians.  Could it be that, unlike most Russian men I've seen, I don't have a mullet?     The few RM I've met personally who are friends or are husbands of her friends have been very nice.  One insists on bear hugging me every time I see him and calling me up on my cell phone constantly when I'm in-country to bs about all sorts of stuff.  The last time I left I swear to God thought he was going to kiss me.  I think he has a boy crush.    

One thing that may affect how people react to us is that we discussed early on being on the same page when it came to telling friends and family how we met.  We both tell people that we met by chance while on vacation.  It's true, except the "by chance" part is a little fib.  We both just felt it would be easier than having people make comments about MOB websites or about Internet romance or something. 

Maybe the weird looks are because of the Dreadlocks Bob, Peter, er, I mean Roykirk....!!!
Funny you mention the Bear Hugging Friend! lol!! Lana has a 'Boy' friend Anton. I was actually a bit insecure about this guy being around her before I first met him!! I was completely understanding, since he was her friend long before I came along! She scolded me and explained that her and Anton are Only friends, that she thinks of him as a friend only and that he is completely unattractive!! At first I thought to myself "ya sure!" But, he helped her buy a laptop and installed her wireless router, webcam and JOIP phone... all so Lana and I could communicate Anyhow, funny as you mention Bear Hug Guy.... Since meeting me, Anton seems more interested in me then he does Lana! He greets me like an old friend and constantly wants me to go out on the town with him, swimming, etc...! It actually has Lana more worried now than it does me!!!!!    I've been having a lot of fun with this against her!!
He's just a big unattractive friendly kid, who likes foreigners. 

[possum]

Personally, I'm much more interested in how people would react to an AW and a RM getting together.. The general consensus on this board seems to be that the US has a shortage of quality women and an excess of quality reliable men, so I imagine most AM here wouldn't give much of a damn.. But what about the women, both Russian and American, but especially Russian?. How would they feel about such a relationship?. Not that it would affect my decisions in any way, I'm just curious..

ETA: there's a new movie out in Russia that touches on this very subject.. it's called Montana.. Has anyone here seen it and what did you think?. As for myself, I didn't care for it..

[roykirk]

Maybe the weird looks are because of the Dreadlocks Bob, Peter, er, I mean Roykirk....!!!

Yeah, that could be it.     I think it's mostly the clothes.  Everyone wears such dark colors.  I put on a red Gortex parka and I stand out a mile away.

[possum]

Everyone wears such dark colors.

That's because it's practical.. the streets are filthy most of the time, and in smaller cities there's ash in the air from the boiler houses..

[ecr844]

Just wondering...How do we make RM and AW feel?

Frankly, I could care less. There are therepists, mommies. electricity, and medications to help them cope with it. It really shouldn't even be on your lists of 'concerns'. Unless of course YOU'RE the one with issues and you need constant continuous validation from others. :brightidea: :roll:

[I/O]

So which is it?  The "best of the best" or just another from the "dirty barrel?" KenC

Russia and parts nearby, for this most part is a dirty barrel. Livable and to an extent workable, but by comparison, primitive. Gladly, things are rapidly changing in many parts and perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. "Vlad's Tunnel" that is.

One insists on bear hugging me every time I see him

They do that. He's Siberian right?

The last time I left I swear to God thought he was going to kiss me.

They'll do that too, sometimes.

Groov's point seems to have been lost a little. He was speaking of expats living in your country and I suspect he raises what can/could be the most difficult social hurdle to transgress. Most RW, when first landing in a new country will be only too glad to meet "One of their own" for a chat. When they get slapped in the face from one of their own for their marriage motives it really does shake them up.

I/O 

[AnastassiaAsh]

Pardon Anastassia,......... Canadian??

Yes, I was married twice. First in 2000 when I came here through K1 I married a Microsoft testing engineer Lance Wasem, most people on these boards remember me as Anastassia Wasem. In 2003 he passed away - colon cancer stage IV. I was left with 2 y.o. baby alone. In some time I started my search again on match and this is how we met with my now husband Tim Ash. We got married in 2005. He is Canadian, from Calgary. And I had to do AOS for him and he's got his first GC. 
Tim has relatives in Vancouver and Kelowna. We are actually going to his sister's wedding at the end of May. Last year we visited Toronto. So far my most favourite city is Vancouver.  Tim is a computer programmer too and has been working for Enertia-Software in TX. We live in Indiana, PA right now and work from home.

[roykirk]

Russia and parts nearby, for this most part is a dirty barrel. Livable and to an extent workable, but by comparison, primitive. Gladly, things are rapidly changing in many parts and perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. "Vlad's Tunnel" that is.
They do that. He's Siberian right?
They'll do that too, sometimes.

Groov's point seems to have been lost a little. He was speaking of expats living in your country and I suspect he raises what can/could be the most difficult social hurdle to transgress. Most RW, when first landing in a new country will be only too glad to meet "One of their own" for a chat. When they get slapped in the face from one of their own for their marriage motives it really does shake them up.

I/O 

Ah yes, you know the Siberians well.   

[roykirk]

Yes, I was married twice. First in 2000 when I came here through K1 I married a Microsoft testing engineer Lance Wasem, most people on these boards remember me as Anastassia Wasem. In 2003 he passed away - colon cancer stage IV. I was left with 2 y.o. baby alone. In some time I started my search again on match and this is how we met with my now husband Tim Ash. We got married in 2005. He is Canadian, from Calgary. And I had to do AOS for him and he's got his first GC. 
Tim has relatives in Vancouver and Kelowna. We are actually going to his sister's wedding at the end of May. Last year we visited Toronto. So far my most favourite city is Vancouver.  Tim is a computer programmer too and has been working for Enertia-Software in TX. We live in Indiana, PA right now and work from home.

I did not know you as Anastassia Wasem, and I did not realize the struggles you went through.  You are obviously a very strong woman. 

[AnastassiaAsh]

Thank you Roykirk, yes, I got my share of scary and horrible things enough for about 3 people's lives.    I am still putting all of this behind me...

[Ronnie]

All I can say - Who cares? Why should I care what AW or RM think about this? I don't care a bit, and advise not to think about it twice. They are all to blame that we are looking for a partner somewhere else!

Ronnie, why would you ask such a question? To make somebody feel some remorse or pains of consciousness? I personally have nothing of this sort and never will! I am blessed to have found my happiness with the best American man and now with the Canadian. The more I live my life here with this kind of person the more I feel blessed.

Anastassia,

I certainly didn't want to engender feelings of guilt with my question. 

I think it's well that we try to gain some sense of compassion about the plight of others.  Some has said that RM and AW are to blame for the situation.  In some cases they may be.  In others, such as in my own example, my actions had little or nothing to do with AW. 

I also tried to point out that we are fortunate as WM to have been born where we were or to have had ascendants who were brave enough to venture out of their native soil.  And you have expressed you're own good fortune, though mixed with grief, at the path that has brought you to your present state.

Some have said it's a simple law of supply and demand and I suppose that's true.  I've argued, that RW who emigrate are the best of the best.  I remember some years ago on RWG, a Moskovite who went by "Fox" claimed the RW who emigrated were, in her words, "land-fill girls".  (Of course, she was the exception).  Then she went on to claim how she wrote what stupid WM wanted to hear.

The argument is made that the WM who choose FSUW are abusers or "losers" "not able to attract WW"  (Again, these comments are made by WM who think themselves the exception  ).

I've met a full spectrum of FSUW and WM.  Some I wouldn't want my sister, brother or daughter/son to date and others I would heartily endorse.

But that departs from the topic, I just started this thread because we tend not to think much or care much about those left out of the FSUW/WM phenomenon.  Don't feel guilty..feel blessed!

[KenC]

Ronnie,
The "landfill girls" comment was made by Donna Pedro.  I recall some very intense debates with her.  IIRC, her reference to "landfill girls" were those women that joined agencies.
KenC

[Ronnie]

You're right, Ken, it was Donna Pedro.  Who was "Fox' or am I just getting senile?

[KenC]

Sorry, but I don't remember anyone named "Fox."
KenC

[ScottinCrimea]

Sorry, but I don't remember anyone named "Fox."
KenC

So either Ronnie or you are getting senile.   

[KenC]

So either Ronnie or you are getting senile.   

or both!

[UTRO]

Yes, I was married twice. First in 2000 when I came here through K1 I married a Microsoft testing engineer Lance Wasem, most people on these boards remember me as Anastassia Wasem. In 2003 he passed away - colon cancer stage IV. I was left with 2 y.o. baby alone. In some time I started my search again on match and this is how we met with my now husband Tim Ash. We got married in 2005. He is Canadian, from Calgary. And I had to do AOS for him and he's got his first GC. 
Tim has relatives in Vancouver and Kelowna. We are actually going to his sister's wedding at the end of May. Last year we visited Toronto. So far my most favourite city is Vancouver.  Tim is a computer programmer too and has been working for Enertia-Software in TX. We live in Indiana, PA right now and work from home.

Oh Wow Thanks for sharing Anastassia. I suppose most 'olde timers' here know of your background, but I never had a clue. I read on your Website that you had first settled in Seattle and then you ended up in PA.... big move!. I also saw a Gallery Photo of you and Tim in Toronto. The fact that you had visited there stuck in my mind.....
I'm really happy that things worked out for you, twice. It gives me a lot of hope for my own relationship! I'm sure Tim is a Great Guy..... he is a Canadian after all.... 

[ScottinCrimea]

or both!

What was the question?  :noidea: :noidea:

[Ronnie]

Maybe....... it wasn't "Fox"..... maybe it was....uh.....ummmm....it'll come to me.