Are you man enough for a RW?

[Markus]

Kenc,

This is another good topic you have begun. And, I think it's quite important for men seeking
an FSUW to try and understand what it takes. There is no magical formula to go through this
process, but it's a process that perhaps some men would choose to give up on rather than
stay the course. If a man is controlling, forget it. If he is an extremely jealous person,
forget it. If he allows himself to be controlled, forget it. If a man cannot trust his lady,
forget it.

I know this guy that went through this process. He never got past the
writing stage. And there's something about him that I cannot identify that told me he would
never make it. What stands out to me is that he seems like a controlling person. I think
that sometimes it's possible to know a man and know if he will succeed in this process.
On the other hand, I know another guy who I would not predict as being able to go
through this process and he has been married to an FSUW for about 15 years.

This process is not about the man being stunning and charming, etc. I mean, just look at
Kenc (Sorry, I couldn't resist). It has to do with both the man and the woman. We
debate about different styles and some styles works for some while it doesn't for
other couples. But, the bottom line is going the FSUW route requires something
inside to succeed more than dating a western woman. The good side is the rewards
are so far up there that words cannot describe how it feels to find a wonderful
FSUW.

Mark

[KenC]

Mark,
Glad you don't think this all a waste of our time as some here do!  Being married to a RW is kind of like a roller coaster, the highest highs, the lowest lows and watch out for those left turns!  But man o man, what a ride!

Very exhilarating, but scares the sh!t out of you.

The again, some don't like roller coasters.
KenC

[Turboguy]

  You cannot be so out of touch that you have never been exposed to this common saying.  The "rule" is what is typical.  No one is making guidelines here, only suggestions of what types of men might have a more difficult time than others. 

No, to be honest I have never heard that "common" saying that a rule is what is typical.  This is how a dictionary defines a rule.  

1. Governing power or its possession or use  
2. a. An authoritative, prescribed direction for conduct, especially one of the regulations governing procedure in a legislative body or a regulation observed by the players in a game, sport, or contest.  b. The body of regulations.

Is that why you always give the opinion that anyone can do this?  No matter what their personal circumstances?
 

I give the opinion that anyone can do this because I think for the most part it is true.  That does not mean that I think everyone will do this or everyone will be successful.   I just think that some of the guys who face longer odds can succeed if they approach it realistically and with determination.  To explain this in more detail I have friends with below average incomes that are happily married to FSU women.  I think any man with a lower than average income can succeed.  That does not mean to say that every man with a lower than average income will succeed.  Even wealthy handsome guys do strike out at this sometimes.

Again, no one is trying to discourage anyone of anything.  We are just trying to be helpful and give an accurate account of what these men might face.
 

I musta missed something somewhere.  I did not see any descriptions of what difficulties they would face just the statements about who could not succeed and how RW are difficult to deal with and will not accept them

With such a dismal outlook on the ability of the this forum to help others, maybe you should leave?  I disagree with your outlook very strongly.

.
Ken, I have said a million times that RWD is the most wonderful asset any man could have in the search and had RWD existed and I found it much earlier it would have saved me a ton of time, money and disappointment.   That does not mean that I think discussions like this do much good.  I do think they get people thinking and that is a good thing.  I think it does not get the ones thinking that you are aiming at though.  

The small number of posters that have been banned compared to the overall membership kind of proves that this is not a significant problem.

Huh!.  Either I did not do a good job of wording the point that I was trying to make or you did not do a good job of reading and understanding what I was writing.  I was not saying banning people was a problem.  

 
I think you are as wrong as VWRW on this subject.  I have asked you some questions up thread that you refuse to address.
KenC

I will go back and reread for any questions I refused to address.   I have no hesitation addressing anything but may have missed that.  I don't have as much free time for RWD as I used when I was alone and trying to kill time waiting for the visa approval.  Perhaps I missed that so I will go back and look

  I see threads like this as more of a service to those who might have difficulty in this process (like the recent thread regarding blacks)  What is so wrong with giving these men a "heads up" to what they may be up against in the fsu?  Why shouldn't we warn them?  I think that is much more humanitarian than to just lie and say everyone has an equal chance.  If they then want to buck the odds, then so be it.  But they should be warned that the odds are stacked against them.

 What truly smacks of distasteful is that you seemingly to be lumping Asians and Blacks with those who have menial jobs!  If I were Black or Asian, I would be highly insulted by your comment.
KenC

.

I agree it is far better to try to tell a black man for example what he may face than to sugar coat things.  Again if we created the impression that it was totally impossible that too would not be fair.

It was not my intention to lump anyone with anyone.  There are a lot of good things and a lot of bad things about this world.  One of the bad is that some people look down on others.  Russians tend to look down on Ukrainians.  Some look down on the Polish.  Early in the last century people looked down on the Irish.  Some look down on Blacks or Asians or those whose income is less than theirs.   I also stated that I always tried to think of all people as equal I don't look at the president of GM as any more important that the janitor at the high school.  I have seen people on RWD who do look down on people.  I can go back to P/G for example when his gal was called a low classed shop girl and they have been lots of threads painting FSU women with mean jobs as undesirable.  

OK, off my soap box and back to try to find out what in the world you think I would have refused to answer.

Just posted and saw your last post Ken.  Just for the record I don't think it is a waste of time, there are some good thoughts that have come out.  I just don't see it accomplishing what you hoped.

[KenC]

Turbo,
The saying goes: exceptions prove the rule.


The idea is that the exception to the rule only stands out so much *because* it is an exception. The exception wouldn't be noteworthy if it weren't an exception *to* something, and that something is the rule in question. The exception "proving" the rule is not in any way a scientific or mathematical proof, and is more applicable to subjective questions or observations.

The questions you ignored:
I see threads like this as more of a service to those who might have difficulty in this process (like the recent thread regarding blacks)  What is so wrong with giving these men a "heads up" to what they may be up against in the fsu?  Why shouldn't we warn them?  I think that is much more humanitarian than to just lie and say everyone has an equal chance.  If they then want to buck the odds, then so be it.  But they should be warned that the odds are stacked against them.

KenC

[Markus]

Kenc,

My buddy who has been married to an FSUW for 15 years told me when I was in the
beginning stages that, "You'll find out." I was talking to his wife on the phone and heard
him in the background. Well, he was correct. I found out. And it's not a roller
coaster that stays flat like a highway. But, I really enjoy it. I somehow found a wonderful
lady.

I have personally seen a man try this. He just wasn't the right type to do it. I cannot
define the right type, but I think a lot of it has to do with the efforts of the man. But,
he has to have a good lady too.

Mark

[turniptruck]

Ken,

Are FSUW the same as Aw or not?

you're  playing fast and loose so to speak don't you think?

[Turboguy]

The questions you ignored:
I see threads like this as more of a service to those who might have difficulty in this process (like the recent thread regarding blacks)  What is so wrong with giving these men a "heads up" to what they may be up against in the fsu?  Why shouldn't we warn them?  I think that is much more humanitarian than to just lie and say everyone has an equal chance.  If they then want to buck the odds, then so be it.  But they should be warned that the odds are stacked against them.

KenC

Ken, I see nothing wrong with warning people but the guys with BO and all the others mentioned did not come here looking for advice to start this thread.   Insted we are trying to define a group of people we think are loosers and have no chance.  There is a bit of a difference but yes, there are some good thoughts in this thread.

[KenC]

Ken, I see nothing wrong with warning people but the guys with BO and all the others mentioned did not come here looking for advice to start this thread.   Insted we are trying to define a group of people we think are loosers and have no chance.  There is a bit of a difference but yes, there are some good thoughts in this thread.

Turbo,
Who called them losers?  You?  I don't look at it that way at all.  Up thread I posted:

Well, Pike made a point that maybe men with the characteristics that Catz pointed out would be hard pressed to be successful with any kind of woman.  Or would he?   I have met quite a few very mild mannered AW that would love a "low key" type of man.  I have not met that kind of RW yet.

In most cases I think couples seek out their equals in the area of strength.  The stronger the woman , the stronger the man she would require and vs versa too.  In all the RW I have met (and we have a lot of RW friends) and all the RW in my own family, I have yet to meet a meek and submissive RW.
KenC

Because a man might not have the characteristics that would make him successful with RW doesn't make him a loser.  It just indicates that success with a RW would be more difficult.
KenC

[KenC]

Ken,

Are FSUW the same as Aw or not?

you're  playing fast and loose so to speak don't you think?

Turnip truck,
If they were the same, why would anyone go to the fsu?
KenC

[turniptruck]

Let us consider a situation where two adults make a decision that they want to be together.

Regardless of what you or I may believe is a 'valid relationship', a couple has been created.

If, you believe that only those participants who are party to that agreement have the best 'information' then only those individuals can make 'rational' decision on whether or not to 'get married'.

What you have proposed is that there is a criteria outside of financial considerations, for a successful relationship between a Am and FSUW.  in other areas, and my memory could be wrong on this, you have said:

"Ronnie,
Lena was sitting here when I read your post so I asked her what kind of man should not go to Russia to look for a woman?

Her answer is; "Men that go to Russia to solve their problems with women."
Outa the mouths of babes. Cool
KenC"


"Ronnie,
I know she meant that if you have problems with developing a relationship with women, don't go to Russia to solve them.
KenC"


Implicit in both of these statements is that women from both areas are using the same criteria.  Where as I woudl agree that women the world over seek statuts, I am not necessarily cavalier about the effects of environmental factors on reproduction. 

What is understood in those two statements is that women from the west value 'x', FSUW must also value 'x' and there fore if you are a man in the west who lacks 'x' and there fore undesirable by ww, you will also be undesireable by fsuw.   

Your knowledge of men who have chosen not to marry WW in lieu of FSUW is prima facia evidence of the cultural value of 'differences'.  Note that both those quoted statements are from this thread.

[KenC]

Turniptruck,
First, I think you are being way too analytical  and too specific here.

The statements were intended more to address the charateristics of the men and not necessarily compare RW to AW.  However, some camparisons are nessesary.  The intention was that if a man had a difficult time forming relationships with AW, then he will have an even more difficult time with RW.  It is from the perspective that *he* had the problem with AW not the other way around.

I would futher venture to say that even though RW use some similar criteria as AW in their selection process, there are many differences too.
KenC

[Ronnie]

When we speak of FSUW, are we considering that we are mostly only exposed to one segment of the FSUW population?  i.e. Those seeking foreign husbands?

It has been occurring to me that the FSUW who are not in that segment can be quite different from the stereotype we have painted here.  I have seen a good number of (non-seeking) FSUW who were much the antithesis of the characterizations we tend to ascribe to them generally.

I'm persuaded that a woman who would volunteer to leave her homeland, adopt a new language, culture and way of life and work diligently to become a citizen of that new country is not, for the most part, a typical woman from the FSU.

[Lily]

When we speak of FSUW, are we considering that we are mostly only exposed to one segment of the FSUW population?  i.e. Those seeking foreign husbands?

It has been occurring to me that the FSUW who are not in that segment can be quite different from the stereotype we have painted here.  I have seen a good number of (non-seeking) FSUW who were much the antithesis of the characterizations we tend to ascribe to them generally.

I'm persuaded that a woman who would volunteer to leave her homeland, adopt a new language, culture and way of life and work diligently to become a citizen of that new country is not, for the most part, a typical woman from the FSU.

I'd agree with that, however, it looks like the number of women who would be willing leave their homelands increases rapidly. I see that on the internet fora. A few of them are looking  to foreign countries since they were little kids, having this interest from their parents; some became 'internationalized' during their working life. For some however, the Russian families and friends are the thing that is unthinkable to leave behind, but they could consider it in case they find a loving husband abroad. For others, cultural and linguistic difficulties are the unsurmountable obstacles.

[Jumper]

Misha, good points-


a few  things that pop into my mind while reading  this thread -
after mishas comments and points brought up..

I personally  know quite a few guys going thru this process.

most of them have been at this a long time.

They are extreemly varied in personalities and wealth.

my observations of this small sample group?

1. "generally" the very weatlthy have an easier time  attracting more RW, (no surprise)
but seem to have far more difficulties in actually getting to the point of K1 , or K3.

not always ,but normally due to thier own issues ,whatever they may be, and that varies.

2. I do not think many of them percentage wise will succeed.
There is a fairly high percentage that are failing repeatedly,
mostly at thier own undoing, and they continue thier same mistakes.

The most common thing holding the ones back that are struggling,
is unrealistic expectations.

the second most common thing holding some back,
is a controlling or jealouse personality type.
Which also tend to be greedy.

the third big factor seems to be  , having zero self control when it comes to an attractive woman, they immediately fall over her,even if she isnt even mildly interested.
 
do the ones struggling all share all these traits? of course not,
but they most all have one of the 3 deadly sins..


again these guys are completey different in all ways..

but of the ones struggling, almost to a man, share one of those traits.
and for what its worth odds ar every good it is why they needed to look in the first place, and its certainly why they are still looking.

the guys doing reasonably well at this so far.. and i would guess likley to pull it off,,
are no surprises,,
and while as mentioned , they are greatly varied in all aspects ,
they often share some traits as well.
 
reasonable and very grounded expectations.
and in general have pretty defined ideas on what they want and what they are looking for.

know themselves, and thier strenghts and weaknesses pretty well.
good at self evaluation

not controlling types,,but not pushovers either.




I do think that a VARY wide array of men can be succesful,,
afterall thier exist every personality of RW

but i have simply seen too many with one of the *3 deadly sins*
(i'm joking!!  nothing is absolute of course)  that just never seem to make it happen, and likely never will.

Oddly enough,
they also seem the most deterimined to continue thier pursuits.despite not having any luck.


I know one guy, quite weathy mid 40's,funny,,a bit outlandish...bordering boorish
and very  shallow,a strong outgoing personality type *AA*.
and completely unrealistic,, a mean completely. as well as a bit  greedy,and thoughtless-
 he will likely only ever succeed in finding a woman to use/abuse  him..and badly,
wether here or over there,
and actually has a long track record of that on both sides on the pond already.  

To suggest you cant define a "type " of guy that will really struggle at this,,
is silly, as this guy, and anyone like him ,certainly will hav ea hard go of it??

Does that make him less of a person? or make someone that succeeds *better*?

certainly not.

but it does make him less capable at long term relationships.
he simply is not as good at them, or with women in general, they see thru him in a instant..


the  *men are created equal* mantra works well within legal struture of a judicial system.

but try some , one on one , with micheal jordon and get back to me..on how well it works in specific arenas though ?

It is a fact some men will be better equiped at relationships. period.
They are more in tune with what the majority of women seek or want emotionally, financially ,phyisically, spiritually.. etc etc.
(some are better at basketball than relationships, others handle both quite well..)

The sooner a man faces and evaluates his own strenghts and weaknesses ,
then proceeds armed with that knowledge accordingly  the better his chances are.  


This thread seems to me like an attempt to define some common traits in men that play
 "soccer" better? or the qualities they generally possess?

it doesnt mean  a great soccer player is any  better *person*?..
nor
does it mean that all good soccer players share the same personalities,
as they certainly do not.

defining some good traits ,or practice habits,
,  does not exclude anyone from playing,or becoming good at , *soccer*..?


just sayin'....

 

[Jet]

Ken,

Are FSUW the same as Aw or not?

you're  playing fast and loose so to speak don't you think?

Turniptruck,

I think you missed the point completely. Algebra and Calculus, are they the same or not?  AW and FSUW share all the gender issues, but with FSUW there are also variables concerning culture, language, distance, and more, adding to the complexity of the equation. If one has trouble with finding "x" in 28 - X = 7 should they ignore that and jump right into Quadratic Functions?

[Turboguy]

Turbo,
Who called them losers?  You? 

Ken, there is a point in most discussions where to continue serves no point except to hear oneself talk.  This is also known as beating a dead horse and I sorta think we are there.  I am content to not take your topic any more off thrack on these points than I have VWRW and I have both stated our opinion and I have nothing more to add.  There are some interesting comments coming out in this thread and that is good.

I'd agree with that, however, it looks like the number of women who would be willing leave their homelands increases rapidly.

Lily, I found that comment interesting since most here feel the opposite?   Personally I don't think the pond is fished out and that most of us overestimate the importance of the Russian economy in a womans choice but that is another topic for another thread.   

AJ,  My two cents worth are that that was a really good post and right on.  I particularly liked the part about unrealistic expectations.  The whole post was great.

[Kuna]

I think you are as wrong as VWRW on this subject.  I have asked you some questions up thread that you refuse to address.

Ken,

The pattern is all too common...  "a wife" comes in with a questionable theory/assertion/story/claim and her husband pops up saying, "I agree with my wife because....".

It's the height of ignorance (or arrogance) to think repeated puppy dog statements in support for his wife provides any credibility to her statements.


Anyway...  I try to remember there are many genuine people visiting here - and many who are genuinely seeking information with the best of intentions...

So...

Your original question was:

Are there certain types of men or certain personalities of men that should not get involved with this process?

It has long been said here that RW are not for everyone.  I have always maintained that men with little or no dating skills should avoid this process as the possibility for them to be eaten by sharks is just too great.  Your thoughts?
KenC

My thoughts are, it depends on who the audience is...

For the sake of women meeting the men...  hopefully the types who won't be pursuing this are:
- The abusive men,
- The liars,
- The deviates (I mean the really disturbed - and we know they're out there);
- The stingy ones;
- The stinky ones, and;
- The ones that don't REALLY "like women" (i.e. The Women Haters)

For the sake of the men themselves... hopefully the types who won't be pursuing this are:
- Those who have poor dating ability/history at home - because even if you still have "a chance" of success in FSU, you're running a very high risk of failing and losing (financially and emotionally more than is reasonable on any dating adventure;
- Those who can't actually afford it - because it's damn expensive and may put too much pressure on the "new family" if the man doesn't have sufficient income or savings;
- Those with unrealistic expectations - because they could waste thousands of dollar or even a decade before they find something they'll settling for, and I actually think it's a shame to waste 10 years of someones life on a fantasty (again, anything is possible, but is it reasonable?);
- Those who don't have the ability to sustain a marriage with a woman who may very well be "out of his league" - because these women are not stupid and if they feel like they are the ones way out of their league they may find reason to look around. (I know from experience that without confidence and "game" a man in a similar position to me could end up paranoid and envious.)   

For the sake of us, the other men meeting and marrying FSUW... hopefully the types who won't be pursuing this are:
- Those who give us and our wives a bad name - for WHATEVER reason!


Ultimately almost anyone CAN find a wife to marry him if he pours enough money into his search...  Maybe he'll eventually find someone who "meets his criteria"...

I think much of the answer to this question comes down to "what is reasonable"...

What's reasonable for the women to expect and accept? and;

What's reasonable for the men to expect and accept?

[Misha]

For the sake of women meeting the men...  hopefully the types who won't be pursuing this are:
- The stingy ones;

I don't necessarily disagree with the other points, but this one is subjective. What is stingy to one may be a spendthrift to another.

For the sake of the men themselves... hopefully the types who won't be pursuing this are:
- Those who can't actually afford it - because it's damn expensive and may put too much pressure on the "new family" if the man doesn't have sufficient income or savings;

One of our new Russian friends is a Russian woman who married a young man who was teaching English in Russia for a few years. They came back half a year ago. They live in a modest apartment, they have a very used car, she worked from almost day one. He certainly did not have sufficient income or savings. Will it work out? Well, I would say they have as good a chance as anybody else. She loves him and is committed to him. In this case, I would say that money won't be the issue.

[Misha]

When we speak of FSUW, are we considering that we are mostly only exposed to one segment of the FSUW population?  i.e. Those seeking foreign husbands?

It has been occurring to me that the FSUW who are not in that segment can be quite different from the stereotype we have painted here.  I have seen a good number of (non-seeking) FSUW who were much the antithesis of the characterizations we tend to ascribe to them generally.

I'm persuaded that a woman who would volunteer to leave her homeland, adopt a new language, culture and way of life and work diligently to become a citizen of that new country is not, for the most part, a typical woman from the FSU.

As you all know, I did not meet my wife on an agency site, and I would concur in that that she does not fit any of the stereotypes painted here or elsewhere.

A few months before meeting me, my wife went to a Russian Orthodox Church to pray for a husband. She asked the help of all the saints in finding a husband. She gave them a list of what she was looking for: kind, smart, well-educated, tall.... All the traits that she asked for, she considers to have found in me. Interesting enough, she did not ask for a rich man (which I am not) nor an extremely attractive man (I could lose a few pounds).

How is she different? The one thing that I have noticed is that unlike some of the women I have seen on other forums (English and Russian), she has never used the term "жадный" (cheap or stingy) and she never had high expectations when it comes to gifts. One of the best gifts that I gave cost a whole $5. We were heading off to have supper to mark our anniversary and my wife decided that we should play a game. We would stop at a local department store and we would each have $5 to buy a gift for the other. As luck would have it, there was a cute watch on sale for $5 and around the face plate it was written "I Love You." She loved the gift.   

What was her motivation for leaving Russia? Well, it certainly wasn't for material gain. Rather, she left because she found a man that she wanted as a husband. She fits what Lily wrote: "they could consider it in case they find a loving husband abroad."

[Misha]

the third big factor seems to be  , having zero self control when it comes to an attractive woman, they immediately fall over her,even if she isnt even mildly interested.

And then spend lots of money hoping to succeed in buying her affection. May work in the short term, rarely in the long term

[Kuna]

I don't necessarily disagree with the other points, but this one is subjective. What is stingy to one may be a spendthrift to another.

Stingy is subjective...  but as I placed it in the list under "For the Sake of the Women" I guess those defining it should be the women. 

If a woman thinks a man is stingy everyone is better off knowing early on:

1. Because he probably can't afford her, and;
2. Because she'll nag the poor bugger to death.

One of our new Russian friends is a Russian woman who married a young man who was teaching English in Russia for a few years. They came back half a year ago. They live in a modest apartment, they have a very used car, she worked from almost day one. He certainly did not have sufficient income or savings. Will it work out? Well, I would say they have as good a chance as anybody else. She loves him and is committed to him. In this case, I would say that money won't be the issue.

He didn't???  How is she here???  How did they marry?  Family handouts or stressed credit cards?  Maybe a bank heist or two? 

Unless he's relying on the folks, or the banks, he must have had enough to get by on...

I still wouldn't be urging anyone to undertake this unless they had sufficient savings or income - even if I tempered my beliefs with knowledge of a couple doing it cheap.  I too know a couple on a modest income, but I wouldn't advise others to do it the same way.

I don't think my wife and I have splurged "much", but the costs are not insignificant.

[Turboguy]

Kuna, you are right and you are wrong. My impression of this thread was the same as her's. You are correct in that I likely would have not commented if she had not. We were sitting the other night and she asked me what I thought about this thread. I told hre I thought it was silly.  The title particularly makes me laugh. I did see some good comments come out and you are right, had she not commented I would not have.
I think it is nieve to believe people with qualities such as you describe will recognize themselves and learn from the comments. As was mentioned a greedy man sees himself as careful with money, an abusive man sees himself as a real man and a lier sees himself as clever.

[Misha]

He didn't???  How is she here???  How did they marry?  Family handouts or stressed credit cards?  Maybe a bank heist or two? 

Unless he's relying on the folks, or the banks, he must have had enough to get by on...

I still wouldn't be urging anyone to undertake this unless they had sufficient savings or income - even if I tempered my beliefs with knowledge of a couple doing it cheap.  I too know a couple on a modest income, but I wouldn't advise others to do it the same way.

I don't think my wife and I have splurged "much", but the costs are not insignificant.

Quite simple: he married when working in Russia. My guess is that they had a modest wedding: whatever they and their families could afford. If you fill out the paperwork on your own, immigration is not that expensive: roughly $1,000 in government fees and $200-$300 for the medical exam and some money for translations. It is an expense, but not a huge sum. Other than that, the only other expense would be the plane trip back to Canada. Now, in Canada, they do what all other young couples do: both work to pay the bills. The main difference in this case is that he went to Russia to work, and happened to find a wife. 

[Misha]

If a woman thinks a man is stingy everyone is better off knowing early on:

1. Because he probably can't afford her

So where do we check for a woman's price tag? It is not a question of whether you can afford her, but one of whether you can meet her expectations (sometimes inflated). I do agree that a man should know whether a woman thinks he is "stingy" and under most circumstances look for someone else. It is important that a husband and wife share similar priorities when it comes to spending money (or not spending money). My wife is quite careful with money, so she does not see being "stingy" as being a bad trait. Yesterday, as a case in point, we bought cabbage in bulk so we can salt it: roughly ten heads of large cabbage for $17.

[Kuna]

I think it is nieve to believe people with qualities such as you describe will recognize themselves and learn from the comments.

That's BS...  and I'm think you know it.

Fact:  People may TRY to ignore some things about themselves, but deep down they know.

Fact: Because they try to ignore their weaknesses, doesn't mean they cant see them.

Fact: When people are confronted with the negatives about themselves they'll often become hostile.

Fact:  You're a well known "rah rah guy" who feels good telling men what they want to hear.  Based on your standards no one should tell anything that opposes his own view of a situation therefore your opinions tend to only reinforce the poor logic we sometimes see in here.

Pompoms at the ready...

"Rah Rah Ray
You're the Man
If you can do it
Anyone can!"


Be honest for a moment... You LOVE making people feel good - even if the advice isn't helpful at the time!

Oh, if you're going to call me nieve, at least learn how to spell it first!   

 

Quite simple: he married when working in Russia. My guess is that they had a modest wedding: whatever they and their families could afford. If you fill out the paperwork on your own, immigration is not that expensive: roughly $1,000 in government fees and $200-$300 for the medical exam and some money for translations. It is an expense, but not a huge sum. Other than that, the only other expense would be the plane trip back to Canada. Now, in Canada, they do what all other young couples do: both work to pay the bills. The main difference in this case is that he went to Russia to work, and happened to find a wife. 

Bargain! 

Meeting, courting, marrying, immigration and travel for approx $1,300 plus or minus... 

I wish I was so lucky - but I think we both know you're understating the costs a little! 

My concern is that based on your example above you still disagree with me saying:

"For the sake of the men themselves... hopefully the types who won't be pursuing this are:
- Those who can't actually afford it- because it's damn expensive and may put too much pressure on the "new family" if the man doesn't have sufficient income or savings;

... and therefore you're potentially giving poor advice to men who may not be sure if they have the means to fulfill the fantasy.

I'd prefer to warn them of the costs, potential and actual, and let them make their own decision.


p.s. Are you with Misha with the bushy mustache that used to have his pic in his profile... I'm just a little confused.