WM Dress standards & expectations in FSU

[FootballDad]

I have read so many things about what to wear, especially when you greet a RW at the airport, etc., but during a "one-woman this trip" meeting for 10 days, are dockers, levi's, golf & camp shirts the norm or do I need sport coats for every outing?  I understand that suits and sport-coats are good for nice dinners and theatre/operas, but what about every day & afternoon site-seeing.  What would I expect a 38yo teacher to expect me to dress in these circumstances?

Any help you can lend would be appreciated.  thx

Footballdad

[dispozo]

I would say wear what you normally wear every day. Do not be someone you are not......

I did have cloths for a nice dinner or a night at the theatre, but I'm not a suit guy. Summer time shorts and t-shirts mostly and winter long cargo pants and long sleeve shirts.

She had seen a lot of photos of me in my every day cloths and I had seen a lot of her photos in every day cloths. I saw no reason to change the way I dressed when I went to visit her for the first time. I would also say that our style of cloths are similar. She wears jeans and t-shirts as well as skirts and shirts. My lady is also a teacher and things went great with our first meeting.

Everyone will have their own opinion about this and nobody is right and nobody is wrong. It is whatever you feel comfortable with, everyone situation is different. This summer when I visit again, it will shorts and t-shirts, but I will bring a nice set of cloths for diners and things like that. But she did laugh at my swimming trunks, I guess she was expecting to see me in a speedo.

Good luck and go with your gut feeling!!!

[Markus]

Hello FootballDad,

I hope you are a Dallas Cowboys fan.

I remember reading the threads about dressing before I made my 1st trip to
Russia in the later part of 2003. I showed up outside the airport in dress black
pants, business shoes, nice shirt, and a leather jacket. I had my 2 bags with me,
a Dilliards plastic bag, a dozen roses, and what I found when I was supposed to
meet the lady I had been writing to and talking to on the phone is that she wasn't
there to meet me. I was outside in January late at night, it was snowing, and
besides noticing that the lady I came to meet wasn't there, everyone was
staring at me. I'm pretty sure I stood out like a sore thumb. At least that's how
I felt. If, after knowing what I do now, I would wear the same thing.

What to wear is way overrated. I just came back from Russia and people don't
know that I'm not from there. Now, I wouldn't wear a hawaain shirt as that would
be a little too loud. If your'e going over soon, I would wear some dress slacks and
a nice shirt. That's all you need. I'm from Texas but I didn't take my boots with me.
You can expect to wear dress slacks in the beginning and then you can wear any
type of jeans you have. You will see that the jeans people wear there are
funky. That's the only way I know how to describe them. As far as a suit is
concerned, I don't think you will need it. But, taking a sports jacket just in
case wont hurt. Otherwise, just plan on wearing casual dress clothes in the
beginning.

Mark

[2tallbill]

I have read so many things about what to wear, especially when you greet a RW at the airport, etc., but during a "one-woman this trip" meeting for 10 days, are dockers, levi's, golf & camp shirts the norm or do I need sport coats for every outing?  I understand that suits and sport-coats are good for nice dinners and theatre/operas, but what about every day & afternoon site-seeing.  What would I expect a 38yo teacher to expect me to dress in these circumstances?

Any help you can lend would be appreciated.  thx

Footballdad

I think dockers would be fine. My recommendation is to bring a couple pairs of high quality and comfortable walking shoes and some foot powder or baby powder to help protect your feet. A dry foot is a happy foot.

You will likely walk like you have never walked before. I usually walk at least 5 miles per day while I am in the FSU. If you attempt to do this wearing Nike basketball shoes your feet will be rotting and filled with blisters by the third day. Basketball shoes are for making very quick changes in directions not for protecting your feet from miles and miles of broken, pot hole filled pavement.

Don't wear brand new shoes, break them in two or three times first, get a nice shine on them, a little baby powder and you can walk for miles.

Udachi !!! (Good luck),



Bill

[Ronnie]

NO WHITE BASKETBALL SHOES!  The only people who wear them along with athletic outfits are the mafia and kids coming from playing basketball.

I wore jeans in the beginning too but traded them for dark slacks.

Dress well but inconspicuously..keep away from bright colors.

As to Markus being stared at..it wasn't how he was dressed.. It was the fact he had a dozen roses and nobody there to meet him.

Just remember, you will be easily recognized as a westerner regardless of your clothes.

[Jet]

Dockers, levi's, golf & camp shirts would be just fine; basically just don't dress like a slob. As Ronnie stated, you'll be pegged as an American as fast as an Alabama hick in downtown Manhattan  . Even if one dresses stereotypically Russian, there are plenty of other "tells", everything from hairstyle to eyeglasses, to watches, not to mention mannerisms and body language. Bill also brought up a VERY good point about shoes - listen to him  . I've seen just about everything, style wise in Russia, including Liliya's Uncle Anatole sporting around town in his favorite 5X Silk Hawaiian shirt 

[Kuna]

Yeah, I'd say it also depends on the occasion.

Example:  Last summer in Dnepropetrovsk it was STINKING HOT... I mean REALLY HOT! 

When we would walk near my wife's apartment I would wear shorts and T-Shirt.

When I would go to Centre I would wear jeans and a nice shirt (usually modern/fashionable buttoned shirt, but sometimes new polo or new designer T).

Dinner at night I would refer to as "Business Casual".  Slacks + buttoned shirt.

The only thing we disagreed on was shoes... 

My wife (and her mother) thought I was crazy for wearing my brown leather Colorado shoes (rubber soled walking shoes) and socks when walking because it was so hot.  She nagged me for days to buy "sandals"...  and I'm sorry but there is NO WAY I would wear sandals at home so there's no way I would wear sandles in UKR. My shoes were comfortable... it's what I'd wear at home in summer...  but...  ahhhh, you'll find out...   


Now... what I WOULD say is:

- Some women will be very offended if you wear old, frayed or faded clothes.  I've heard some men say their wives/gf's "like" the fashionably torn jeans they were wearing... but I wouldn't risk it;

- Don't obsess over your attire... but pay attention;

- Clean shoes, clean and PRESSED clothes (No stains, etc), clean nails, ears and teeth, no visible nose hair or long wild eyebrows... take pride in your appearance because all of these things will be noticed.

- Relax, have fun, be confident, attentive and chivalrous - if you've prepared well, you will find what you're seeking!

Good luck!

[ScottinCrimea]

No matter what you wear, be sure there are NO spots (even microscopic) and NO wrinkles and that your shoes are spotless or she won't let you out of the apartment until you change.

[KenC]

FootballDad,
You have received a lot of good advice here.  Comfortable and well polished shoes, well pressed clean clothes would probably be at the top of my list as RW seem to have a "thing" about them.

Things have changed in Russia since the time I went to meet my wife and now just about everything is acceptable in Russia clothing wise.  But as this is your first trip and you are going on a mission to catch some woman's fancy, I would "dress to impress."  I wouldn't wear jeans if I was meeting an AW I wanted to impress, why would I wear them in Russia?  Face it, no one here is 18 any more.  A dressy pair of Dockers with no signs of wear and a good quality Polo style shirt would be as casual as I would get during the day.  Think docksider (leather boat shoe) casual shoes instead of a white sport shoe for day time casual.  In the evenings I would go with a dress shirt, dress slacks and dress shoes as a minimum.  Keep in mind, we Americans dress too casually for our own good sometimes.  Also consider the fact that you are competing with RM, that tend to be a little bit like peacocks when on the prowl with all the latest Euro fashions available to them.

"Class it up" a bit for this trip.  Show the ladies that you put an extra effort in your attire to meet them and your efforts will be noticed and appreciated.  You only have one chance to make a first impression, don't waste it on being comfortable.  I would leave the shorts, Tshirts, baseball caps and jeans home for this trip.  I always think it was better to be a little overdressed than a bit too underdressed in these types of situations.
Best of luck to you.
KenC

[FootballDad]

Thank you all for the great advice, especially about the shoes.  Being from the cool-weathered high desert, I wear alot of boots (ranch & hiking), but I can definitely feel comfortable in a pair of "top-siders" casuals and walkable shoes.   Ken & Kuna thanks for the advice on keeping a nice dress "sense" about me, as I guess the basic thing I was worried about on my post was not to overdress, especially at certain occasions.  I am number one when it comes to "dress to impress" and that will not be an issue, but when it is uncomfortably hot (as I will be in Kiev for 4 days (then St. Pete for 6)) in July, I was a little worried about being comfortable where I would wear docker or nicely hemmed shorts.  .... no speedos for me!!!
Anyways, thanks everyone, for your input.

[groovlstk]

Thank you all for the great advice, especially about the shoes.  Being from the cool-weathered high desert, I wear alot of boots (ranch & hiking), but I can definitely feel comfortable in a pair of "top-siders" casuals and walkable shoes.   Ken & Kuna thanks for the advice on keeping a nice dress "sense" about me, as I guess the basic thing I was worried about on my post was not to overdress, especially at certain occasions.  I am number one when it comes to "dress to impress" and that will not be an issue, but when it is uncomfortably hot (as I will be in Kiev for 4 days (then St. Pete for 6)) in July, I was a little worried about being comfortable where I would wear docker or nicely hemmed shorts.  .... no speedos for me!!!
Anyways, thanks everyone, for your input.

Keeping cool in July can be a challenge, especially if you take public transportation. Try opening a window on a steaming-hot marshrutka and the babushki will throw fits. The metro is far enough underground to be cool, but at rush hour the crowds funneling to and from escalators can be very oppressive in the heat. Make sure your flat has a/c as leaving the windows open will invite mosquitos.

[Al_C]

I am from the school of thought which says that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.  When you see her for the first time, a sport coat, slacks and tie would not be overdoing it.  I am sure there will be disagreement on this, but I always followed this rule, and it never served me wrong.

[roykirk]

I agree with a previous response, that is, I wear whatever I wear at home.  If I'm traveling anywhere, let alone to meet someone, I'm wearing comfortable travel clothing.  "Nice" shirt and slacks don't fall in to that category for me.  After 18 hours of flying, they're going to look like #$%@ anyway, so I'll take my wrinkle free Columbia clothing any day.  That's not to say I won't take some nice clothing with me to wear later, but definitely not on the plane.  I knew I had the right girl when my girlfriend told me very shortly after we met that she thought jeans were one of man's greatest inventions.  Score!     She also told me that everyone would be able to tell I was a foreigner (and most likely American) even if I tried to dress like the locals, so I should dress however I dressed at home to be comfortable.  Yeah, people stare sometimes, but they're going to stare as soon as they hear us speaking English anyway, so my clothing really doesn't matter in the end.

[Jet]

If I'm traveling anywhere, let alone to meet someone, I'm wearing comfortable travel clothing.  "Nice" shirt and slacks don't fall in to that category for me.  After 18 hours of flying, they're going to look like #$%@ anyway, so I'll take my wrinkle free Columbia clothing any day. 

I guess it depends on your flight. I always packed a nice set of clothes in my carry-on because flying Lufthansa, I always had a layover of at least an hour in Frankfurt. It was plenty of time to pop into the restroom and switch out of my trans-Atlantic jeans & t shirt and into something more respectable for the final 3 hour leg of the journey.

[Ronnie]

I guess it depends on your flight. I always packed a nice set of clothes in my carry-on because flying Lufthansa, I always had a layover of at least an hour in Frankfurt. It was plenty of time to pop into the restroom and switch out of my trans-Atlantic jeans & t shirt and into something more respectable for the final 3 hour leg of the journey.

I had forgotten until Jet posted this that I used to do the same thing.  Your carry-on should have a change of clothes and a handtowel and a big plastic bag.  Use the handtowel to "sponge bathe," shampoo and shave in the connecting airport.  Often your luggage won't arrive with you so be prepared with a well-planned carry-on.

[Turboguy]

I will be in Kiev for 4 days (then St. Pete for 6)) in July, I was a little worried about being comfortable where I would wear docker or nicely hemmed shorts. 

See what some others say but I think I would forget the shorts as well. 

[ScottinCrimea]

For a good example of how NOT to dress, check out the video on Eduard's website.  We're talking khaki baggy shorts, shirt not tucked in, white sport shoes and carrying around an old beat up backpack,  It looks like he's going out to do yard work.

[I/O]

"Class it up" a bit for this trip.  Show the ladies that you put an extra effort in your attire to meet them and your efforts will be noticed and appreciated.  You only have one chance to make a first impression, don't waste it on being comfortable.  I would leave the shorts, Tshirts, baseball caps and jeans home for this trip.  I always think it was better to be a little overdressed than a bit too underdressed in these types of situations.Best of luck to you.
KenC

Bit of solid advice here.

I/O

[Ronnie]

Shorts...nicely hemmed?...ahhhh......No.

[mendeleyev]

The Russian expression for someone who is gay is "blue."  A guy who is blue wears shorts there.  I guess nicely hemmed would indicate he also does really well at interior design.  The average RM seldom owns shorts, even when relaxing at the dacha for the weekend most seem more comfortable in pants.

As the others have said....don't.

[Jet]

The Russian expression for someone who is gay is "blue."  A guy who is blue wears shorts there.  I guess nicely hemmed would indicate he also does really well at interior design. 

  My wife's very favorite American idiom - Don't be blue... 

[mendeleyev]

Jet, that is classic!      


My wife's favourite is "...it goes without saying."

[mendeleyev]

FootballDad, I hope you were not offended at our responses.  Its important that you make a good impression on each visit (not just the first).

Its really not about "shorts" as much as about how you view her.  Is she of sufficient importance (to you) that you can recognize the difference between a trip to seek a lifelong partner and a vacation.  Don't make this a vacation first.  Make it the business of love first, and if you do things right, the rest of the trip will feel like a vacation even in those long (and dark in colour) dockers/slacks.

Is she important enough to you that you will dress us to go to the park with her (she will dress up to go to the park for you!)  Are her parents important enough to you that you will dress up to have dinner in their home?  (They will dress up, to the best of their financial ability, for your coming to dinner.)

In general its a much more polite and formal society, regardless of financial statues, manners and culture matter to her.

She thinks that by dressing up and looking nice, it shows respect to you.

She's hoping you will feel the same about her.

[Misha]

The Russian expression for someone who is gay is "blue."  A guy who is blue wears shorts there.

My wife insisted that I buy a few pairs of shorts for the summer. She is the one that suggests that I wear shorts when I bike to work or when it is very hot outside and we go for a walk. Hopefully she doesn't have doubts about my sexual orientation LOL

[FootballDad]

Mendeleyev,

Thank you for the additional advice.  I am a Dockers and Oxford shirt kind of guy when I am out on dates or in fashion public, so I probably should just plan to bring 60% of those type of clothes.  I wonder, though, why dark slacks, rather than tan, almond, beige, sage or even cream, are the choiciest colors for the RW?