RW Avoids 3 Year Green Card Wait by Claiming Domestic Violence

[kops2222]

I have been married to a young Russian woman since February 2002.  We have one baby together, and also live with my two teenagers.  In August 2004, I discovered that the marriage was a scam and she was planning to leave me.  I sued for Annulment on the basis of fraud.   In reponce, she called the Coalition Against Domestic Violence and other woman's organizations and began setting me up on a Domestic Violence charge. 

On January 20th, she self inflicted injuries, went to the hospital to have them photographed, and file a (false) criminal charge against me.  I was arrested, and given a stay away order of protection, excluded from any contact with my baby (for whom I am the prime caretaker).  Furthermore, i have also lost my older two kids, who live with me, since I now have no home and they have had to go live with their mother. I have a good business that has been shut down since I cannot enter my home office. 

The incredible thing is that I will not even be allowed to enter one word in my own defence, since the family court is backed up, and I will not even getting a hearing for more than a month, maybe two months. 

My Russian wife gets:

- A Green Card, since the Violence Against Woman Act (VAWA) entitles her to a green card if she can produce documentation that she was abused, such as Orders of Protection, Areest Record, etc.

- Green Cards for both her parents, who were in on this scheme with her.

- If she is successful, she will also get $500,000 in child support payments from me that she would not have otherwise gotten, since I work from home and in spite of being the father I am the baby's prime caretaker. 

Who could think you could have your children, even those from a prior marriage, your home, your business, and your income, ALL TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU WITHOUT EVEN A HEARING!!!!!   Welcome to the USA, 2005. 

YES IT IS TRUE.  IF THE FAMILY COURT IS BACKED UP, YOU WILL NOT EVEN GET A HEARING!  

If you know of any similar situations, please email me at kops2222@aol.com

Also, if you have develop any suspicians that you Russian or former USSR resident will not remain married to you for the entire three years, know that the girls are instructed over the internet to set you up for a domestic violence claim.

Some of the common steps"

- claim that your sexual advances were unwanted and you had sex against her will

- try to provoke you into hitting her by saying cruel things

- try to provoke you into hitting her by destroying your proprty 

- strike you, hoping you will hit her back

-when all else fails, self inflict a wound, and then go to the hospital to have it documented. The hopital will get a social worker to call the police, and they will usually come to the hospital to take a report.  Then the police will arrest you.  

Your home, your life, and your children will be taken away from you.  Only after you have been compoletely punnished and devasted will you get a hearing, and then, if the family court is backed up, as it is in many jurisdictions, you will get a hearing months later.

Joe    

 

 

 

 

 

 

[BC]

kops2222,

Sorry to hear about your ordeal. Have heard of similar situations so you are not alone.

If you discovered her plans in August 04 and sued her did your lawyer advise you to keep living together? Did he not warn you about possible DV actions she could induce and their consequences?

A good lawyer would surely have warned you or at least referred you a someone more familiar with these matters if he wasn't up to speed.  What went wrong?

[Goombah]

As painful as this is - its the biggest fear most of us have - do you have any suggestions on how to avoid it?

Kevin C.

[Scott Jay]

As painful as this is - its the biggest fear most of us have - do you have any suggestions on how to avoid it?

Kevin C.

Two possible ways to avoid it.  One deals with when you are in the situation, without warning and the other when you are still engaged.

The Divorce Situation Hits You Like a Freight Train.  With so much at stake, you have to plan ahead.  The best advice is to get out of the house.  If you can't or don't and you file for divorce (or she does) and continue to live with your estranged wife, you're going to be in trouble.  (I am surprised at the story that started this thread since the court orders issued without judicial proceedings appear to be a violation of due process of law.  I'd sure like to know what state the family law proceeding is in.  But it sounds outrageous, and often outrageous stories have other explanations or additional facts that tend to mitigate the outrageous aspects of the story.)

Before you file you should move someone else into the house.  We would call this person "a witness."  I have thought about this, and the plight of a friend known as "maxx."  I have asked myself: what would I do differently?  Well, I would have a witness there.  She could be a housekeeper, a nanny (governness), or somebody helping out in some other unspecified way.  If worse came to worst, maybe a relative.  With a witness it will be more difficult (but, of course, not impossible) for an unscrupulous woman to do what happened to maxx, yell "abuse" and grab for the golden ring known as the green card.  The witness may be biased, they sometimes are.  But there is an "in terrorem" effect that the witness's presence will have.  The witness will also be able to provide testimony, other than the AM's.  You may want to move the witness in at the first sign of trouble.

But you never know and you can never foresee everything.  It appears that the man who started this thread did not adequately prepare himself.  How could he have known?  Probably he couldn't have.  But there is a learning curve and we are now getting behind it.

Before anyone complains that a witness may be expensive, ask yourself this: How much more expensive is it to be on the wrong side of a divorce-abuse case?

What Can you Do Before you Are Married?  There's only one thing, and even it isn't fully protective: the pre-nup.  That's why having a pre-nup and preparing otherwise makes sense, despite the ignorant claims that they will do no good, that you're still in court.  (You're in court for support of the children, if you're responsible for them, which you can't contract away in most states, and for two issues relating to the pre-nup: the limited questions of whether the terms are "fair" in some general sense, and whether the pre-nup was obtained fraudulently.) 

How do you sell a pre-nup to your RoUW?  You have to offer her something in it, too: training, a car, support of the children before you become legally responsible for them as through adoption.  Make the pre-nup worthwhile for your future spouse, and show that it is protection for her, too, and it will be fair, it will be enforced, and it will serve to deter some of the conduct we are reading about on this thread,

There are both great rewards and great risks in AM marrying RoUW.  We must balance the risks against the rewards and only if the rewards seem greater should we proceed.

"Look before you leap" is good advice pre-marriage and pre-divorce.  That ounce of preparation may go a long way.

 

[anono]

- If she is successful, she will also get $500,000 in child support payments from me that she would not have otherwise gotten, since I work from home and in spite of being the father I am the baby's prime caretaker. 

this is the other outrageous claim. without knowing the laws in your state, i do not see how what she is doing, if successful, would have any impact on the amount of child support. child support is usually determined on a percentage of your income and is either awarded or not. DV usually has nothing to do with it.

- Green Cards for both her parents, who were in on this scheme with her.

 
huh?  why do her parents get green cards "who were in on this scheme with her"?

[specialst]

Hello Kop222!

As you can see your starting to see bits of truth and patterns based on others  experiences. DMV wild card is a desparate last step on her part and she did this based on the advice DMV groups here in the US. These groups will go to great extremes even breaking the law into framing a man on these charges. I know several recent incidents where these attempts where made with the direct involvement with these DMV groups.

Number rule is start to rely others for advice that have experienced this and we can begin to assist you in the damage control phase of your divorce.You did the right thing asking for help.

I must ask you to be very careful which computer you are using to post this or any communciation. I hope you are using anothers account and I would advice you the future to use a hotmail or yahoo account under a alias. As a Aol account can be tracked and tapped.

Any phone calls made from your cell phone or the place where you are staying the records can be supoened as evidence whatever reasons. Cover your tracks.

You have to remember you declared war on this Woman in August 2004 and she made a first strike against you to bolster her claim. There is no going back but to fight this out and can be dirty. Based on your information this woman is a criminal and this was all premeditated on part. Worst part of this is you have child with this woman now and your were married 3 years. What state are you in ?

Good luck

John

[300spartans]

 
Disclaimer - none of the following is legal advice and is merely for entertainment purposes.

 Do you have a mortgage and can you draw more money from the loan? If so consider the following ideas. None of which apply if your financial situation overall is good, you have a great business or a well paying job with a good future. A real life example I know of is a man who went on the dole until his son turned 18, a period of almost ten years. He did this just so as not to pay his b!tch of an ex wife any child support payments. Obviously, this type of thing might be bad for a man's long-term prospects and self esteem. That man got a job within weeks of his sons eighteenth birthday. Financially, he was worse off than had he kept working, and he also was not a chick magnet during that ten-year wilderness. And he moved back in with his parents, how humiliating. But he made a lonely one-man protest against a rotten and corrupt system, for whatever that was worth. No laws were changed as a result of his protest. 

[list=1]

• If you have any other houses or valuable personal property, sell them.[/*]
  
• Apply to the bank for an increase in the home loan.[/*]
  
• Draw down the loan fully. Max out your credit cards also. Become a regular visitor to your nearest legal casino. You lose all the money while trying to resolve your impossible need to afford accommodation for you and your two children. [/*]
  
• Cease payments - after all, you are not allowed to live in or rent out your own home. This "lockout" situation seems to be anti-capitalist, Communist even. In any case, your available cash has been lost at the casino.[/*]
  
• If you continue not paying, a mortgagee sale will eventually result. The price will be less than that obtained during a normal market sale. Your wife and child will be evicted and the Government will be chasing you to pay rent to accommodate them.[/*]
  
• You might get the money from the house sale. If not, you were probably going to lose at least this much capital anyway.[/*]
  
• If you have a job, chuck it and go on welfare. Go bankrupt if necessary.

[/*]
Most Western governments reward lying cheating women. Let them look after her. And why not let them also look after you and your other two children? You were never consulted about these pro-mother, anti-father laws.

If the truthful are to be punished in this world, why be one of them?

Desperate times demand desperate measures.

 By the way, many of these above techniques, and thousands of others, are used by business people in difficulties, or those that merely find paying back debts a terrible bore.

[solomon]

From the humble knowledge of an attorney who does family law, this happens all the time with AW's, so you are not alone. Sounds like you may need a different lawyer. You need someone who can tear apart her domestic claim, such as showing that the injuries were self inflicted. Your lawyer should consider a change of venue. Also, if she is going to get 500k in child support payments, you must make an incredible amount of money. The most in alimony that I have ever heard of in Montana was 5k a month, but nothing near that for child support. Assuming that your state uses standard child support guidelines, your two children from a prior relationship will reduce the amount of child support you must pay. You should consider suing her for slander, libel, tortious interference with contract (your business), tortious interference with business relations (again your business), etc. The soon to be ex-wife of a client of mine gave a false report to the police department that I committed a felony. The case was never charged, but I have a personal vendetta against her and am pursuing through the divorce of my client. I am doing alot of the work for free to send her a message that she made a really bad decision. From a lawyer's standpoint, anyone who has decided to screw with me via the law has usually severely regretted it. Food for thought.

[BC]

Solomon,

This thread 'died' a while back. After a couple of pointed questions the guy disappeared and obviously did not post here to discuss. Just a hit n run.

Pretty fishy imho.

[anono]

hey bc..i think most of the claims made by the original post are impossible claims. no one just gets handed $500k in child support w/o a hearing. i think it was just a troll trying to scare people.

[Fiorella]

Solomon,

This thread 'died' a while back. After a couple of pointed questions the guy disappeared and obviously did not post here to discuss. Just a hit n run.

Pretty fishy imho.

Exactly. I only wonder how fast most of men beginned to defence that crazy loser.

[tim 360]

Just blowin' smoke.  The story does not add up at all,  not worth commenting on. 

[dat5150]

Always beware of the first time poster with outrageous stories. 

[solomon]

Sorry didnt notice sooner. I thought I was the first time poster with an outrageous story for a minute.

[Son of Clyde]

Don't believe anyone who names it a "green crad" whatever a crad is.

Looks like he posted quickly.

[jb]

I wrote this dude off after the first post when he seemed to think it takes 3 years to get a green card.  Everyone who's been down this road knows the green card takes two years.

Geesh~!

[Fiorella]

As say girls in russian women forum - now it often takes at least 3 years to get green card.

[Maxx]

I talked to him on the phone twice. He lives in New Jersey. He is quite angry and wants justice. "Just letting it go" is not for him. I can understand why as he has a child by his estranged FSU wife and there are child custody issue. According to him she has had him arrested on charges but he had an ironclad aliby during the time she claimed he did what she said he did. What he does not realize is that nobody in the legal world cares about false charges made by woman. Especially brought out by men who marry foriegn women. He is out in the cold on this one. It is a legal snarl that will cost him a fortune with no chance of wining if he pursues "justice".

He's not a troll just a really upset guy.

Maxx

 

[Leslie]

Well Maxx you may have talked to this guy on the telephone but the tale he posted here is a crock of SH*T.

 

Quote "I have been married to a young Russian woman since February 2002. "

 

So in March 2004 she is entitled to an unconditional green card.

 

In August 2004 after being married 30 moths and having a child together this guy tries to sue for an annulment of this marriage on the basis of fraud!! 

 

The ONLY reason to take this type of action is his deluded attempt to deprive his wife of her right to stay in the USA.  After two years of marriage the husband has NO right whatsoever to interfere in his wife's immigration status.

 

This action is a typical last resort action of a controlling A** hole.  Guys like this generally do knock there wives around.  On the basis of what he posted here I reckon the DV charges are very likely true.   

 

I have no sympathy whatsoever for this guy.

 

Maxx

 

It has been a long time since your divorce from Elvira.  I know what happened to you was horrible but don't you think it is time to move on with your life??  Your continued involvement in the false DV charges scene is looking unhealthy now.  I don't think you should repost your story here after all this time.  After all it has been widely published on the internet.  I would like to see you post a trip report though.  Tell us about the new FSU women you are dating….

 

 

[MandM]

Well Done Leslie!

Thanks for standing up for us!!

I've been reading 'russianwomenabroad' forum and seems like there are plenty of women in the US, whose husband use all possible means to prevent them from getting GC. Of course, it is easier to control a woman with no rights...

 

[Maxx]

If a guy contacts me and I talk to him. If he confides in me I will not start flaming him no matter what he posts. If you see holes in his story go ahead and comment on them. I will not defend them if I see your point. But my silence should tell you something.

My feelings during the Summer of '03 were rather intense. When one has Russian after Russian scaming as in the agency and her friends and family it was easy to broadbrush the lot of them in the effort to protect myself. Now I have softened my views towards Russians. There are plenty of good Russian woman who would never have done what Elvira did to me. Many of them make great wives. I chose poorly and suffered the consequences.

My posting of my story was much more involved and informative than the snippit I posted here. It was a warning to American men to use caution when going into this process. The part not posted here tells that the INS or the courts will not come to their aid even if they have good evidence of fraud.

Recently I started writing a Russian woman who was recommended to me by a friend's Russian wife. I used an agency for the letters at first. Then later after I got her contact information from my friend I arranged a private service to contact her around the agency. After several weeks of not using the agency I get a letter from her. Only it wasn't her. The agency wrote it in her name. The purpose? To have me to continue my membership with them and possibly book a tour $$$ to get her contact information. I ignored them. Two weeks later my lady is called to their office. Everything comes out. Since then nothing from her. I suspect they threatened her (It was done by agencies to the two other ladies I wrote to, Irina and Elvira) or badmouthed me. I am rather public and well known and have given enough information about myself that selected portions of it can be twisted to make me look bad. 

So with this recent happening I decided to put the finding of a Russian (FSU) wife on hold. 4 1/2 years of being in the process has worn me out. So maybe in 6 months or year I will be back at it again and late next year I will have my Russian wife and family.

To M&M

There is bad people on both sides. Some of these women (the bad ones) should be deported. They will continue their scams on other men. The men should be punished too that is after a fair trial. Unfortunately all this is a fantasy and reality is scammers, fraudsters and abusive people, both men and woman, will prosper. The best we can do is warn others of the true situation. As long as this doesn't consume our own lives.

Maxx

 

[jb]

Leslie has made some very valid points in his post.

I also have had conversations in the past with men who have failed to file I-485s in a timely fashion for their wives.  In my mind there is no excuse for this.  By the time a new immigrant wife is approaching her 2nd wedding anniversary she should be well on her way towards the GC and subsequent citizenship requirements. Not thirty months and a child later.

My most recent encounter with a case like this involves an eight month old baby boy where the father wants the child but would like to get shut of the mother.  When I asked if he had filed the I-485 in her behalf he said; "no".  I asked why, he answered that he didn't have the money, and then later in the conversation admitted that the courtship wasn't entirely honest.  He had led the woman to believe he was in better financial shape than was actually the case.

It's my belief that this sort of thing may be more common than we would like to think.  It is also one of the reasons I'm so cynical when I read of a man rushing headlong into marriage with a foreign bride and giving a thousand reasons why he can't make additional trips to get to know the woman better before marching to the altar.  My guess is it's usually a lack of adequate funds needed to pursue this properly that result in the one trip wonders, and the plethora of horror stories we read about later.

[Maxx]

I did the I-485 three weeks after she arrived. It did not improve things between us. In fact she got colder.

I am very disappointed when I see people take one side or the other. That is all RW in these situations are victims or perpetrators and the  men are all scammed or monsters. I was talking last night to a guy engaged to a RW. His fiancee got rather upset with him when he told her about all the scams RW do to AM. She said to him "Why you say such things about Russian women!?" Later she began to learn about some of her new RW friends going through the agency. One recently told her she was not in love with her fiance and didn't even like him but her future is in America.

Another thing I have noticed is that there are allot of verbally and psychologically abusive people in RW/AM marriages. Interesting the most guilty of this claim to have "happy marriages". That is all their arguments, screaming, shouting, threats and bouts of jealousy are considered normal life with a FSU wife. Usually they talk about the good loving afterwards and how their wives expect all the dramatics. Perhaps some of them do? This a complex business.

Maxx

[jb]

Maxx,

I do not disagree with you.  There are many FSU women who are less than stellar.  We routinely classify them as scammers, good time girls, and worst of all are the GC whores, these are women who have no love for the poor schmuck who pays the freight to get them to the west.

Another thing I have noticed is that there are allot of verbally and psychologically abusive people in RW/AM marriages. Interesting the most guilty of this claim to have "happy marriages".

The only yelling and screaming that goes on here is when Etna learns I've spent some money for a gift for her when it isn't even her birthday.  She could care less if I had spent an equal amount for something to go on my hot rod BMW, by Lord help me if I try to spoil her a little.

[Maxx]

I wasn't accusing you jb. I just know allot of RW/AM "Ralph and Alice Kramden" type marriages. According to the laws these would be considered abusive relationships. Yet most of the times these people are happy as Ralph and Alice were with each other. Unfortunately if one of these marriages breaks up the man is often times accused of being "Emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive" if the RW doesn't have her green card yet. It gets worse from there.

This is the dark subject that nobody likes including me.

Maxx