Do what I mean, not what I say.

[Elen]

Ok all of you with perfect "logic" and "rationality" , keep presenting second hand gift to kids of your women and see what you get back. I warned you !!

My sad experiece in that issue.

I've got such "lesson" in primary school . There was a tradition to give presents to pupils in our class ( bought by one of parents on collected money)

Well when it was a turn of my parents my mom asked my uncle to buy some good books. He was a "funatic" of books and knew places where you could got good ones (as like all good things books were a dificit in the USSR as well)

And that poor "book worm" bought them in no other place but in one where he used to find their "treasures" - in bookinist shop (a shop for second hand books)

Well books were really interesting ( and in good codition but not new) And when he brought them to our teacher they had a very laud "discussion" because she told him it's "not good" to present secon hand things and he tryed to prove her and idea that book had other value than a cover .  I was ready to fail undergound though I thought my uncle was right. But any way it was a lesson and I swore out to present any second hand gifts (you never know what reaction and feelings could be)

PS Uncle run away from school in a rage and bought other books (new ones but silly :?) 

 Why do risk and try to "prove something" if for some people a fact you try to "save money" at present to their kids is "un-welcome" behaviour even if they don't show it to you  ??

If she have know that your ex-wife have help in the choice for computer, i understand the reaction of your russian lady

EXACTLY!!  A second hand present to your own kid from his EX!! What a DOUBLE  "insult"! :X ( not kidding)


And once more for all of you!! Don't allow females to pay for you ( even if it would be an ice-creame) if you don't want troubles in future.

 

 

[wxman]

[Elen]

But it is a different story when a person rejects a GIFT because it does not meet their standard. That person is purely materialistic and is a person that only looks for what they can get out of a relationship, not what they can offer.

I don't think that not meeting standarts was the main ( and the only one) reason she rejected a gift. There were enough "if he has not done  that and that ......  if I (e.t. SHE) would nor such stupid to do that, that and that ....... before her upset poped at surface.

BTW a question to all of you. Do you realy visit gests in America with 'used" gifts? Just a curiousity?

Or it's only for Russia like - "They have nothing  so they would be glad with that" (I do believe you do this with best intentions. But any way....)[/font]

[Bruno]

BTW a question to all of you. Do you realy visit gests in America with 'used" gifts? Just a curiousity?

Or it's only for Russia like - "They have nothing  so they would be glad with that" (I do believe you do this with best intentions. But any way....)

Yesterday evening, a friend have visit me... i have give him some drink and little food... and he have give me a gift : a second hand processor and some RAM...

No problem for me... these second hand processor is 400 Mhz more fast that my actual... and 1 GB ram more is always welcome... in place of sell it and earn money, he have choice to give it to me...

Really, i have no problem with this... only second hand clothes are not for me... some of my more beautiful furniture, old antiek meuble, are second hand, impossible to find new...

Elen, if someone give your a second hand paint from Picasso, send it to me... i go sell it for buy my own villa :cool:

 

[wxman]

I don't think that not meeting standarts was the main ( and the only one) reason she rejected a gift. There were enough "if he has not done  that and that ......  if I (e.t. SHE) would nor such stupid to do that, that and that ....... before her upset poped at surface.

BTW a question to all of you. Do you realy visit gests in America with 'used" gifts? Just a curiousity?

Or it's only for Russia like - "They have nothing  so they would be glad with that" (I do believe you do this with best intentions. But any way....)

 

I agree that there was more to this than just the fact it was not a new gift. If he told her that his ex wife and son picked this out for her, I don't blame her for rejecting gift.

I used to get "used" gifts as a child. My parents could not afford to buy us new bikes. They bought us used bikes and we were not dissapointed at all. In fact we were quite happy to have a bike, and it never crossed our mind that it was someone else's bike. When I purchased a new HDTV I gave my old big screen tv to a friend. He was not disapointed or offended, but quite thankful. He even took me to a major league game to show his thanks, when he didn't have to.

People in this world have got caught up in all the commercial hype. If it's not new, then it is to be valued less and the person giving it is somehow a lesser person. Sad state of affairs society is becoming.

[PeeWee]

[/quote]
I with you. But remember she did not pay for anything other than the gas in her car, parking fees, one tour, a couple of exibits, and the one dinner that she cooked in her appartment. And there was a outstanding loan still on the table. The 1+K that I gave her when she had her NY emergency 6 weeks ago.

Somewhere along the line she forgot the loan and her Russian ego took over for a day and got herself bent out of shape. I did not mind her working off a protion of the loan because she did want to repay it and I resisted her several attempts to do so.

How did it turn out? The flowers was all it really took. I don't know why but the flowers are very high on a woman's gift list. The look on her face, when she saw them, was akin to one of those folks that inadvertanly discover Ed McMahon at their door with that big 1m payday check. I included the appology but it was rejected with an appology of her own. Seldom does that happen. It ended with an invitation for me to return. A "I will miss you." A "Don't forget me." I always love that one. Some nice kisses, something that verboten on Black Friday. But the damn woman is faster on the draw, when it comes to getting that wallet out of the purse, than Billy the Kid was at drawing his 6 gun. The cab shows up and I really did try to get the fare to the driver before she could but she beet me to it once again. I did insist on it but the knee heading toward the groin area makes one tend to back off a tad. So she got the last pay off in. Kind of like the "last word in."

PeeWee

[Elen]

Bruno and [user=182]wxman[/user] I'm not about "casual" gifts for your friends but about those you go and buy for special events like birthday or Cristmas or what else for your GIRLS ??

 

[Photo Guy]

When is your birthday?

What do you want to know? What type of gifts are typical in the US?
I gave 'L' a cell phone for her birthday. I have given jewelry more than any other gift. Nice things for the home are good too, like a beautiful photo frame, or a unique ceramic bowl for a dining room table, etc.
Sometimes I give things in even numbers. But that has changed now.

[Elen]

Are you going to sent me your old lap top? :? Well it's February 10 then. You may do that, I would not take that as insult as I'm not your girlfriend 

And NO I'm not about gifts you present to your Russian girls I ask about kinds of gift you used to present in AMERICA  to GIRLFRIENDS.

What's difference in your behaviour? ( to better and to worse)

[Bruno]

Bruno and [user=182]wxman[/user] I'm not about "casual" gifts for your friends but about those you go and buy for special events like birthday or Cristmas or what else for your GIRLS ??

 

The daughter of these russian woman was not the girlfriend from the son of PeeWee... it is PeeWee junior who have make a gift to his potential half sister... so, we are in the categorie of casual gift

 

[Elen]

Poor Bruno!! You don't understand a simple thing about RW - she was a DAUGHTER of his girlfriend so she had  higher status even if her mother.

[Photo Guy]

Difference?  My behavior is the same. Now I give odd numbers of flowers, rather than even.  My old laptop is a Windows 98, very slow, and probably bogged down by viruses. It's okay, if you don't use it on the internet. Actually, I'm sorry, I must keep it because it has one program that I use to program one of my synthesizers. It's a program that may not be available anymore or work with XP.

[Elen]

Windows 98 with viruses for my birthday? :? Well no thanks:D

[Photo Guy]

If I did not like you, I would send you this old laptop.

[wxman]

Bruno and [user=182]wxman[/user] I'm not about "casual" gifts for your friends but about those you go and buy for special events like birthday or Cristmas or what else for your GIRLS ??

 

 

For her birthday i also got her what she wanted very much, a mobile phone. Yes it was new . This past Christmas I gave her jewelry, flowers, and a nice coat.

I'm not sure if Pee Wee and this girl are a couple though. Was this their first meeting? I would think jewelry would be  too much on a first meeting, with flowers a better choice.  I still think the laptop for her daughter was a nice gift. I haven't heard what the daughter might have thought of this gift, since it was for HER, and not the mother.  Seems what the daughter would have thought of this gift is what is important.

[PeeWee]

BTW a question to all of you. Do you realy visit gests in America with 'used" gifts? Just a curiousity?

Or it's only for Russia like - "They have nothing  so they would be glad with that" (I do believe you do this with best intentions. But any way....)

Yesterday evening, a friend have visit me... i have give him some drink and little food... and he have give me a gift : a second hand processor and some RAM...

No problem for me... these second hand processor is 400 Mhz more fast that my actual... and 1 GB ram more is always welcome... in place of sell it and earn money, he have choice to give it to me...

Really, i have no problem with this... only second hand clothes are not for me... some of my more beautiful furniture, old antiek meuble, are second hand, impossible to find new...

Elen, if someone give your a second hand paint from Picasso, send it to me... i go sell it for buy my own villa :cool:

 
[/quote]
I dn't have a problem with used either if it is of good quality or good value. I sometimes deal in in collectibles that are worth more used than they are new. But I am not Russian.

Peewee

[PeeWee]

Poor Bruno!! You don't understand a simple thing about RW - she was a DAUGHTER of his girlfriend so she had  higher status even if her mother.

This is interesting for me to know. The daughter has a higher status than the mother. Why then did my friend only object that I did not bring flowers for her mother and not mention her daughter too? Also interesting that today I brought a large bouquet for her and a smaller one for her daughter. She was overjoyed and the daughter seemed to careless and went on to play her video games. Regardless of the daughters response I think it good the I remembered both.

PeeWee

[PeeWee]

PeeWee

[ConnerVT]

To futher add to my challenge, daughter's father is a super rich Russian man. I think the desk top and the camera came from him so he buys the best that money can buy. Mother and daughter have no idea what they are recieving. They have no clue about it other than what it might have cost.

This is a multi-faceted dynamic that I would have avoided in an AM-AW relationship, no less add cultural and language differences into the pot of soup.    

[wxman]

That is a challenge. The daughter's father is a very rich man and will get whatever she wants from him. Too bad about the flowers and that the child didn't care. Seems she is quite westernized already with the video games, and a father who gives her everything. She is probably thinking, what could you possibly give that she doesn't already have.

[ConnerVT]

And that you better be giving her a better deal than she's already got lined up?

[Elen]

This is interesting for me to know. The daughter has a higher status than the mother.

Take my replicas not such "literally" But truth tell in Russia kids do get presents (according to their ages. Girl was too small for flowers, BTW )  which much more expencive that parents can alow to buy for themselves. And your girl can forgive you soem mistakes you did for herself but if you did something "wrong" to child THATS would be remember ( in your brains)for very long time and you would suffer in guessing many times why she react in such "odd' way

PS me poor thing alwas get second hands sell phones when my daughter gets new one :?

To futher add to my challenge, daughter's father is a super rich Russian man. I think the desk top and the camera came from him so he buys the best that money can buy. Mother and daughter have no idea what they are recieving. They have no clue about it other than what it might have cost.

OOPS poor American, You're doomed to fail with your presents to the end of your life in this case:?

How does the said father feel about taking his daughter abroad by you?

 

Elen, if someone give your a second hand paint from Picasso, send it to me... i go sell it for buy my own villa :cool:

Well I don't think you're such generouse that present Picasso or villa more likely you may with proud face present second hand mothy fur coat and wonder after then why that coat appered at your stupid head

 

I still didn't hear if somebody gave second hand presents for American girls at stage of "courting" ??? And stop stick "girl's case" to my question. I ask about "second hand" gifts in general and about those things wich you throw away after they have been used but not about Picasso.

 

[corp]

<<<I still didn't hear if somebody gave second hand presents for American girls at stage of "courting" ??? And stop stick "girl's case" to my question. I ask about "second hand" gifts in general and about those things wich you throw away after they have been used but not about Picasso.

-Elen
====================
Let me try to answer question.
There are gifts for different occasions.
I dated a girl once and when her car motor was ruined, I gave her a second hand car I had. It was maybe worth 1800 bucks, nothing special but transportation. She was glad to have it but the funny thing was, I actually bought this car in case something happened to hers as it came to me in a real good deal.
When I bought it she asked me why I bought it and I mentioned she might need it if her car died, well she got mad at me for suggesting that I would only provide her a second hand car.
We bumped heads over this but I held my ground that "I do not take out loans on a car for anyone I am not married to."

Few months later when her car died she gladly took me up on my offer of the car.

Would I buy someone a use coat for their birthday? Not unless it still had tags on it

But when it comes to giving "items" or passing something useful on to another person or girl friend such as a TV or computer, what is wrong with that?

Generally speaking for holiday gifts, something new is called for but if it is no holiday and woman needs a computer what is wrong with second hand one unless you are just trying to be cheap. Maybe I have two computers and so I give her one of mine, not as birthday present but just as a gift.

Some utility items would seem fine to give if used, sometimes a used item is better than new. I would much rather want a woman that would want a "better sewing" machine rather than a "new" one for the same money.

I value intelligence very much and to me this is a sign of a woman's intelligence.... to know the difference between practical and when someone is trying to get off cheap.

I should have known Russian don't want anything used ... heck they even reject my old hundred dollar bills when I try to exchange them for rubbles.

[Bruno]

I still didn't hear if somebody gave second hand presents for American girls at stage of "courting" ??? And stop stick "girl's case" to my question. I ask about "second hand" gifts in general and about those things wich you throw away after they have been used but not about Picasso.

Since i am a already used man, i am a second hand gift for girls :P:P

Usualy, in the dating process, i give new gift... cheap one... but after, when the relation is more build, it can appear that i give second hand gift... by example, my ex-wife have wish a bike and i have buy a second hand scooter... she was realy happy with... until she know that she need pay insurance and benzine

In any case, the type of gift is in the function of the person... i have friend who like old thing and other not... the goal of a gift is give pleasure... so, i learn for each people what they like...

 

[Elen]

to Corp!

I KNEW it!!, that the only one second hand gift for your American girlfriends would be a car :? ( or Picasso and Russian should be glad with old comp)

But when it comes to giving "items" or passing something useful on to another person or girl friend such as a TV or computer, what is wrong with that?

Nothing wrong but for only for  friends, or for "casual" gifts for girlfriends when you are "sure" in her feelings already but NOT for birthday gifts and NOT for any gift at a stage of courting:P

I value intelligence very much and to me this is a sign of a woman's intelligence.... to know the difference between practical and when someone is trying to get off cheap.

Geeeszzz Never mind how inteligent your girl may be you NEVER should underestimate a female part in her with all those "feelings without any logic" you males CAN't understand and try to close eyes at them. Well you always pay for THAT at the end!!!:P

And  to Russians you ( especially greedy Europeans ) very often really look cheap, because in Russian traditions of courting any "rationality" with gifts and other cases with money looks like greedeness.

PS As for me at your place I would be scared with too rational girls :?

PSS Again you stick that case with lap top here! There were many other "reasons" there. Though to MY mind second hand presents are not allowable  for "introuducing" meeting as well. Better to present some less expencive but new and leave second hand ones at other times. And besides if girl used to expencive gifts from father you did look cheap with your second hand one.

Bruno!! You are just hopeless econom rational European - just right that kind which Russian call "greedy Europeans"

I should have known Russian don't want anything used ...

 Russians don't like attitude towards them like - they have nothing at all so let we save money and give them what we don't need already by ourselves.