It will be interesting and helpful for first timers to read of some of the horror stories (or lesser adjectives) that have been experienced by some. I think it will be most useful if this compilation is of situations where the man gave his best effort in trying to assure that reasonable compatibility existed, to weed out scammers, etc.
And, I think it would be most valuable if this thread contained stories only, with a discussion of the various situations occurring in a sister thread.
So please, add your relevant story to my story. And put your comments into the sister thread.
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My first trip to FSU occurred many, many years ago, but I recently came across some notes that I had made concerning that trip. So here they are.
The main purpose of my trip was for business, but I decided to add several days to my trip and meet some ladies as well.
I was fairly well prepared to meet several FSU ladies on this, my first trip into the FSU. I had read discussion boards for some months and knew of the good procedures to follow, etc.
My very first date was to be with Natasha. She was mid 30s, nice looking but not beautiful, profile sounded interesting. Natasha’s profile also stated she didn’t care if the man was ugly, old, bald and fat (I thought that was unique, but not the reason I contacted her.) I am an average looking guy in face, with good body, all my hair and teeth, well educated and within 10 years of her age. She lived in the main city of one of the FSU satellite countries.
I had told all in my intro letter that I would only meet with those who could communicate in passable English without need for interpreter.
I exchanged 6-8 e-mails with the ladies on my final list, over a period of only 6 weeks. I did not start communication until 6 weeks before my arrival to spare the ladies and myself the burden of a long correspondence. I told them that I would be arriving in 6 weeks. About a week before my departure from USA, I attempted calling the ladies. I had previously asked for their phone numbers in about the 4th e-mail or so.
The messages I had received from Natasha were interesting, well written but not perfect, had answered all of my questions, asked me pertinent questions, etc. I told Natasha about the times of my probable phone calls. I called three times. Each time the phone was answered by her 16 year old son. He knew all about me and my scheduled visit. A very pleasant and intelligent sounding boy. Natasha was never there, but he assured me that all was well and that his mother was happy to be seeing me. He also seemed to be happy that I was coming.
I arrived and got settled into a bed and breakfast on the edge of town during the early evening. I was to meet with Natasha at noon the next day. I called her around 8 PM that first night. She answered the phone, spoke some halting English, and told me to call back later when the son was home. But, I didn’t want to wait, so I asked the innkeeper to call back her number for me. He spoke several languages including Russian.
He spoke with Natasha and verified that she was expecting to meet with me the next day and that she would come to the bed and breakfast. From there we would proceed to the center for lunch. I had told her that we would spend the entire afternoon and evening together. I was now somewhat concerned about her English, so I asked the innkeeper to ask her about it. She replied that she could communicate in English, but that she was somewhat startled to be speaking on the phone for the first time with me. OK, so all seemed to be going fairly well. The innkeeper told her that I would call again around 11 AM in the morning.
I called at 11 and the son answered. The mother still in the shower. He asked if it would be OK if he came with the mother to meet me. He would go to the center with us and, if all was well, he would leave us to spend time with his friends. I said this would be fine, and it seemed like a good move on the part of the, now, man of the household. I asked how they would travel to me; by bus, taxi, or what? He asked if I would pay for a taxi, and I said, of course.
They arrived right at noon. I had brought the boy a baseball cap and a small gift for the mother. I handed the gifts to them. They smiled at each other, but not at me. And, as is the usual FSU tradition, no thank you was said to the foreigner. They spacibo locals all the time, but not the visiting foreigner.
I asked about the taxi ride. The boy said it was fine and the first time they had ever ridden in a taxi. I asked how they would normally have traveled this distance. He said: By foot.
The innkeeper had shown me that the tram stop was just a block away, so I told them we would go there. On the way, I told the lady that she was pretty. She looked at the son, he translated for her, and she smiled at the son, but not at me. Now I was starting to feel a little queasy!
I had info about some restaurants in the center and spoke of the choices. The son said anything would be fine. I now realized that the woman was not going to talk with me, so I directed conversation to the son. I asked him about the relative locations of the 4 restaurants I had listed. He only knew of two of them, so we decided to go to the one closest to our arrival point.
We arrived at the restaurant and, although the plan was that the boy was to leave us, I knew that was not in the cards. There was no such plan. After the menus arrived, the two of them ignored me, conducted extensive discussions between themselves about the menu items, and proceeded to order the most expensive items possible. My menu was in English, so I was able to fend for myself. They also ordered expensive desserts, Espresso’s, etc.
Upon leaving the restaurant, we walked some narrow streets a bit. I tried to make conversation with either of them, but only got short one word answers from the son. They walked side by side in front of me. When we passed a small museum, I asked about visiting it. The boy replied they would do whatever I wanted.
After I paid the admission for all three of us, the two of them proceeded to stand in the corner of each room we visited, and talk with each other. I looked at the various exhibits by myself. I asked them if they didn’t want to look at anything, but the son replied that the exhibits were not interesting. Boy . . . my stomach was really starting to knot up and I could only keep from vomiting by reminding myself that I had many other ladies to visit on this trip.
I was looking for a way out to end this misery, so I messed with my mobile a bit and told them that I had a SMS about an unexpected meeting with a business colleague that I must get to soon. The son replied that it was no problem. I asked about giving them taxi fare to return to their home. The boy replied that wasn’t necessary, they would just wait for me. I said it might take the rest of the afternoon. He and the mother held animated conversation. Then the son said they would take the taxi fare. I gave it to him; and then the boy asked me what time we would meet for dinner!!
I almost couldn’t keep from laughing or maybe screaming. However, I did keep my composure.
I told him I didn’t know how long my meeting would be, but that they should eat if they got hungry before I called!!
