Positive Advice For Newbies

[Bob Smith]

BTW I am with Ed asking same question: why is it risky?
It IS risky for a RW but not for any AM.

Its statements like this that explain why I’m still single at 30.  All over the world regardless of country of origin or ethnicity you find feminists going on and on about how it’s a man’s world and when things go bad it’s ALWAYS the woman that is the victim.  No risk for American men?!  This statement tells me that this woman and possibly numerous RW don’t value my hard work, sacrifice, and values which makes them just like AW and Western European women.  I’ve never been married, don’t have any children, have a six figure career, have above average looks, and come from a professional respected family.  You mean to say some green card whore coming in and using me as a mule and walking away with a chuck of my cash, putting a divorce on my record, and causing my child or children to grow up in a broken home isn’t a risk for me?

I appreciate some of the negative comments regarding marrying FSU women.  I’m sick of the unrelenting propaganda spewed out by agency promoters.  For people that think this site dwells on the negative too much please go to an agency for some distorted masturbatory material.  No one ever got hurt by being overly cautious.  Sure buy the ticket and go to the FSU and check it out, but for heaven’s sake do not think there are NO RISKS just because you are an AM.  This is the most nonsensical feminazi statement I’ve read in a long time.  That type of garbage belongs in family law court where decent hardworking AM get taken to the cleaners by the women of the world.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Well, i think 'risk' might be different to different men and women.

Leaving job - some people have hard time finding a job when they are back to Russia and some don't have this problem at all.

Leaving friends and relatives - for some it is a torture and for some it is just right time to separate from their parents.

Leaving a flat - in some situations a woman can loose this flat to the owner, and in some she is the owner

Leaving her country, environment that she is used to - for some it is very difficult and for some it is very easy and they are actually looking forward to a new and very exciting chapter in their both personal and general life.

In my case - i was risking mostly with time and my emotions spent on that relationship, and of course being far away from my mom after living for 25 years with her.

There are other risks like getting pregnant for example within those 90 days or after a woman realises that the relationship is not working out, or something like that - but again it is up to a person to make right decisions in their life at a right time.

And looking at a man's situation, his financial risk is much higher but at the same time he doesn't change his environment, he still has his job and relatives close by, it is still his mother tongue....

I think risks are a little different for men and women, but it looks to me that they might be somewhere even. People say that a woman risks more, if you ask me if i would like to reverse the risks within the reversed roles - i would say No way! 

[AnastassiaAsh]

I’ve never been married, don’t have any children, have a six figure career, have above average looks, and come from a professional respected family. 

And where is your profile? Just in case. 

[sableman]

I would agree with KenC and AnastassiaAsh.  I do believe there are risks for both parties.  Perhaps RW have more of risk due to their situation in their country.  Having never been to the FSU and having just recently joined this site and the discussions, maybe this is the case.  Certainly the societies in both countries are different.  I agree with KenC that the risks for the RW may be more but certainly the risk for AM is real.  I believe that anyone, male or female, who joins some of these sites and used their real names and real photos is assuming a risk.  In addition, and I have done it, if you converse with someone, get a good feeling, and reveal your inner thoughts or feelings, you are also at risk.  At risk emotionally that is, which I know is differrent.  Just my $.02.

Sableman         

[Faux Pas]

I totally enjoy RWD and all the advice given here to those that are beginning their search and those still searching. Without the help of the experienced here it could mean disaster for a newbie. I would be interested to hear positive reasons why some made the search. The reason is I had a friend interested in looking for a wife in FSU after I told him about the beautiful girls I met on my trips to Ukraine but when I asked him about his search later on he laughed and said forget it. He had been reading some discussions and said there are more negatives than positives. There are girls who don't exist, you are really writing to a guy, GTG's, scams and many wasted trips and money. Are we scaring newbies away? It can't all be so bad, just look at the happily married men on this forum and their beautiful wives. There seems to be a lot of negative talk about going to the FSU. I imagine on AD the girls there have had a bad experience with men from here and if combined with negative talk on our side there will be no more men searching the FSU and no more women searching here.
Yes I know very well the reasons like the huge bums here and lack of family values but how was it all so well worth the trip and all that you had to go through? How is your home life with the new FSU wife?
Without sounding like bashing the women in our country can you give a comparison how FSUW are better suited for us? It can't be just for the good borscht

There is plenty of positive. There is also plenty of negative. I haven't done any research through the forum threads to determine which way it is tilted  but I could guess offer that it would be negative for various reasons. I can appreciate that. Quite frankly if it were more positive or all positive it would scare the poop out of me and I wouldn't have taken on the endeavor.

If the negative scared your friend off from this search he no doubt saved himself much time, expense and heartache as it doesn't appear he would have made it through to finality. It doesn't appear he is as another threads topic "Man Enough" or he just isn't cut from the required cloth. There are negative people just as there are positive people. Conversely, those that come to the forum and read only the positive aspects aren't cut from the required cloth either.

If you want positive, direct him to the agency sites. If it's the negative he seeks, show him Anti-date and the other "cry in my beer" forums. If he wishes to read real stories from real men and women complete with it's peaks and valleys show him RWD and instruct him to read it all. It's quite possible your friend was drawn to the negative threads and thus only read those. One solid I have found to be true on this forum and in this search, is that there are plenty of positive and negative experiences but, thats life.

[Doll]

You mean to say some green card whore coming in and using me as a mule and walking away with a chuck of my cash, putting a divorce on my record, and causing my child or children to grow up in a broken home isn’t a risk for me?

Chill down , will you? All you've just said is about any woman of any origin.
And I don't mean any whores for you.

[Doll]

This is the most nonsensical feminazi statement I’ve read in a long time.  That type of garbage belongs in family

Excuse me sir! This statement belongs to a man- Ed. I only agreed with him.

[WmGO]

 No risk for American men?!  This statement tells me that this woman and possibly numerous RW don’t value my hard work, sacrifice, and values which makes them just like AW and Western European women.  I’ve never been married, don’t have any children, have a six figure career, have above average looks, and come from a professional respected family.  You mean to say some green card whore coming in and using me as a mule and walking away with a chuck of my cash, putting a divorce on my record, and causing my child or children to grow up in a broken home isn’t a risk for me?

I appreciate some of the negative comments regarding marrying FSU women.  I’m sick of the unrelenting propaganda spewed out by agency promoters.  For people that think this site dwells on the negative too much please go to an agency for some distorted masturbatory material.  No one ever got hurt by being overly cautious.  Sure buy the ticket and go to the FSU and check it out, but for heaven’s sake do not think there are NO RISKS just because you are an AM.  This is the most nonsensical feminazi statement I’ve read in a long time.  That type of garbage belongs in family law court where decent hardworking AM get taken to the cleaners by the women of the world.

Preach it bro!!

[WmGO]

Doll, your implication is correct.  A sincere RW has much more to lose than a sincere AM.  

/quote]


Respectfully disagree, although I do note your use of the qualifiers "sincere".

Although one could debate forever the question as to who has the most risk, the common sense reality is that the FSUW can just return home. She in NOT giving up her family, friends, home etc. She is only giving up her job, and yes depending on circumstances, it may or may not be easy for her to get an equal job upon return, but the risks that the man are taking are much greater because of the simple fact that the woman is moving to the man's country and his home and community. The woman has the power to absolutely destroy the man. The man has no such power.  He is a captive audience. He can go nowhere. If the woman screws him she screws him in his own community for all the world to see. If the man has misrepresented himself or worse the woman can simply pack up and go home. That is what many FSUW have done.  Regardless of all the post hoc rationalizing, that is the simple fact of the matter.

The interesting thing is that in the majority of  cases  the FSUW does NOT return home but insists on staying and taking the man to the cleaners, raising DV charges, having affairs, draining bank accounts, hiring divorce lawyers, claiming assets the man had before marriage etc. ad nauseum. All of these things encompass a lot more risk than what the FSUW is risking (although there is of course the occassional serial killer to
worrry about  :evil: ).

[Simoni]

Catman, good question.

But to get the answer, you have to look past the rhetoric here and compare apples to apples.

If an American guy of 50 wants to marry an American girl of 21, that IS risky.

If the same 50 year old marries an American woman who is also 50, it's not  as risky.

So American girls are not as risky if you stay in your age range, IMO.  

I can't speak for the Canadians....  

[BC]

You mean to say some green card whore coming in and using me as a mule and walking away with a chuck of my cash, putting a divorce on my record, and causing my child or children to grow up in a broken home isn’t a risk for me?

Bob,

You really think that could happen to you?  A woman does not need to have your baby for a green card so why would she?

Those that even remotely resemble your remarks had red flags flying all the way and probably shouldn't have even entertained thoughts of a RW, much less marry one.  Divorce, broken homes? happens all the time with or without an extra card in her wallet.

I received a Euro green card from a woman I was married with for 7 years.  We had a child together who ended up living with me.  That make me a GC whore?

[Simoni]

You mean to say some green card whore coming in and using me as a mule and walking away with a chuck of my cash, putting a divorce on my record, and causing my child or children to grow up in a broken home isn’t a risk for me?

Bob, a number of us guys have been successful.   Mindful of that, I'd go easy on what you spew when you use the "wh" word.

The fact is, if you are careful, and don't rush the marriage, your risk is minimized.  My advice?  Don't get married if you view it as a risk.  Be sure before you commit.

And yeah, no matter what, there is no sure thing.  Marriages both in the US and the FSU have a failure rate that exceeds 50%.

[Gator]

I've read more than one prenup between AM and RW which were reasonable for AM and court and unfair for RW. Zero risk for men and no choice for women.

Doll,
Some of your statements have merit.  Then you say something like this.  It proves that you do not know sh!t about prenups.  You know so little that I will not waste my breath explaining it.  Your misinformed comments cast doubt on the accuracy of your other statements.

Maxx's wife filed DV charges and forever ruined his life

Why is his life ruined let me ask you? He lost nothing.

His life is not ruined, yet he certainly lost a lot taht has affecetd him profoundly.  The way the system is established and administered, she took specific steps that caused him to be labeled as a criminal felon, and he did not have reasonable recourse.  Doll, what if you sincerely tried to make another person happy and in return that person pressed false charges against you that directly caused you to become a felon (which will deny you certain jobs, etc.)?

Also it could happen in the cases with AW which happens 100 times more often. 

It is not the same.  AW have little to gain from filing false DV charges.

[Gator]

Bob Smith,

Key to marrying a RW is trusting her.  This takes time.  Something about your personality or perhaps your history makes me doubt that you will ever have enough time to trust a RW.   Thus, I suggest that you forget RW.

[Doll]

Doll, what if you sincerely tried to make another person happy and in return that person pressed false charges against you that directly caused you to become a felon (which will deny you certain jobs, etc.)?

For the 101th time: none of us know what really happened in his family
(his truth-her truth-the truth).
I am sure of one thing- if a woman is content with the life she will never leave the man.With no GC and with a kid to leave the husband? Come on! Only if she really has to do it.

[Gator]

Bob Smith,

Key to marrying a RW is trusting her.  This takes time.  Something about your personality or perhaps your history makes me doubt that you will ever have enough time to trust a RW.   Thus, I suggest that you forget RW.

Bob,

I wrote this before I read what you had to say in the thread about telling the truth.  You are one PRINCE of a man.  Some woman sure did a number on you.  Get over it and move on.

[Gator]

For the 101th time: non of us know what realy happened in his family
(his truth-her-truth-the truth).

The court record essentially says the same thing, yet the way VAWA is administered the man will always lose.

[Doll]

The court record essentially says the same thing, yet the way VAWA is administered the man will always lose.

This is what YOU think but nobody really knows what happened in maxx's family.

[KenC]

For the 101th time: none of us know what really happened in his family
(his truth-her truth-the truth).
I am sure of one thing- if a woman is content with the life she will never leave the man.With no GC and with a kid to leave the husband? Come on! Only if she really has to do it.

Doll,
I sincerely understand your point here.  But it is irrelevant as Maxx's story could have happened exactly as he said with the exact same results.
KenC

[Doll]

You're right Ken but let's forget this " it ruined his life forever"
It hardly ruined anything.

[KenC]

You're right Ken but let's forget this " it ruined his life forever"
It hardly ruined anything.

Doll,
Again I sincerely understand your point but still disagree.  This action (false DV charge) really did ruin Maxx's life.  You need to read more of Maxx's story to understand.  IMO the emotional damage Maxx incured forever changed his life and not in a good way.
KenC

[Doll]

Ken, love you too 
My posts were in reply to somebody's " it ruined his life forever"
 As for anything emotional- it is up to us to get over it or not 4 or more years after.
Amin!
 

[ScottinCrimea]

I guess this is the thread of the day.  It took me awhile to catch up but I'm laughing at how Doll can pull everyone's chain.  A one sentence post and on it goes for several pages more.  She's just having way too much fun.

I guess if we go by what everyone is saying here, I took on all of the risks of an AM AND an RW when I moved to Ukraine to be with my wife.  I sure made it easy for her, didn't I?

[I/O]

Doll: Nobody said or even implied the risks for women are lower. Many if not most of the women take huge risks, for example, their GC plan might fail and they might be sent packing. Now wouldn't that be a dent to the ego. AKA Emotional risk. Women's risks are a worthy subject for another thread.

Travel risks apply to any travel? True, but men involved in this pursuit ARE travelling for that very reason, this persuit. A risk which is not there when marrying a local woman.

Financial risk is far higher in this persuit than marrying a local woman. No need to explain, simply consider every aspect of it and the financial risk is higher. Emotional risks are higher for many reasons and not least because similar to the RW, the men will NOT have the same width of support from family and friends if he decides to persue this line. He will lose some of his support base. The risk of being misguided by agency hype is something one doesn't face dating or marrying locally and IMO the internet sites ARE agencies. For that matter, I think they are more guilty of gilding the lily than the shop front agencies.

The question was asked, why do this if the risks are so high? Fair question and in most cases, if people are honest, I suspect the answer might be, "Because I wanted to". In my case it was so because it started by my doing something "I wanted to do", that is visit and see some of Russia (And some other places at the time). Other things came later. I have never and still don't buy the line that RW are so much more beautiful (I don't see dominant numbers winning Miss Universe or as lauded international models etc) or so much more this or that. Different yes, isn't everyone. Better?.......better is too subjective.

Back to risk, IMO the biggest risk men face is developing stress disorders once married to a RW.

I/O

[Gator]

Back to risk, IMO the biggest risk men face is developing stress disorders once married to a RW.

Can you imagine being constantly badgered, trying to sort through a incessant stream of inane comments, having one's words twisted if not ignored, saying something intelligent and not being acknowledged, escaping to another room for peace and quiet only to be followed, etc.