Health Tips for OMBs (Old Married B*stards 
)Many of the married men who contribute to this forum are older than a typical AM in his first AM/AW marriage in life. Often, it is their second marriage or a later-in-life first marriage, their FSU wife is 5-10 yrs younger or more than he, and there may be a second crop of children involved as well. So, while health issues may not be that close to the core issues dealt with here on RWD, there might be some interest among those of us who are married, and especially those of us who qualify as OMBs
) I’m not saying get too obsessed with fighting the clock. I’m just saying be smart, take advantage of what’s available, and live health-smart. This way you’ll maximize the number of wonderful years you have with your wonderful wife. And she deserves that extra effort, don’t you think? I do.
In my own case, I got remarried when I was 48, my FSU wife is more than 10yrs younger than me, and I am now 53. I thought some of the OMBs on this forum (and some of the soon-to-be OMBs) might be interested in some of the medical and health things I have learned and adopted because of this situation. [Some of the FSUW here on RWD may be interested in the part on skin care, by the way.] For you younger guys, don’t let this scare you too much !!
Good health is good for everybody.
After being married to my FSUW for the first couple years, it dawned on me that I have an increased responsibility to maintain my health and appearance more aggressively than I might have felt had remained married to my first wife (who was 3 years younger than me). Of course having said that, it becomes immediately obvious, “What difference does the age of your wife make?” And in a way, none – taking care of your health is important for yourself and your wife, period. However, I confess that I never thought much about it until I was in the situation with a second and younger wife. If my wife was, say, 5 years older than me (e.g., 58) maybe I wouldn’t have thought of it. So, I won’t try to brush over that and say, “Everything is all the same, all the same … “ because there can be some differences. But anyway, for what it’s worth, here’s what I ended up doing: (by the way, I am not a medical professional)
Cholesterol level:I take a daily “statin” pill (a cholesterol lowering drug) strictly preventively. My cholesterol was fine (under 200), but statins have proven to be very safe and we know conclusively that lower cholesterol correlates to lower risk of heart disease and stroke. My cholesterol is now about 160 with better “ratios” too. Since heart disease is the leading killer of men in USA, I recommend any and all preventive strategies for this strongly.
Daily Low-Dose AspirinI take an 81mg enteric aspirin every day. There is significant evidence that this reduces the risk of one of the main kinds of stroke, and also may correlate with reduced the risks of coronary artery disease. There are two kinds of strokes, basically: from blood clots and from blood leaks. I think something like 80% or more of strokes are from blood clots. The daily aspirin regimen has been shown to reduce that risk. Again, it is a regimen that has proven to be safe and harmless for most.
Sunblock and Preventing UV ExposureOver 90% of the damage to skin that we associate with “aging” (wrinkling and brown spots) is in fact due to cumulative exposure and damage from UV radiation. This damage is also highly correlated with increased risk of skin cancer. Further, with global warming and ozone depletion, our exposure is increasing every year. UV radiation is both UVB (280nm – 320nm) and UVA (320nm – 400nm). While you cannot change the amount of UV exposure you’ve had in the past, you can reduce the amount of exposure you have going forward by over 95% fairly easily. What does that mean? It means your skin will look the same when you are 70yrs as it does when you are 50yrs (or whatever age you are now) with significantly reduced risk of skin cancer.
The most important thing to know here is that SPF ratings only address UVB exposure. You can have an SPF70 sunblock and still be getting high doses of UVA radiation. UVB causes sunburn and skin damage. UVA causes damage to the subcutaneous skin layers, but not sunburn, so you don’t know its there. UVA exposure is near-constant all year, and goes through glass (UVB does not). There is an excellent web site on all this sponsored by the Skin Cancer Foundation at:
www.skincancer.org. Being “anti-UV” definitely puts you a little bit into the “uncool” and “eccentric” categories, so it can work well for guys that are already married, but it would be hard to adopt if you are dating ). Many men think that being anti-UV is rather unmanly, but the way. So, what do you do?
- Keep out of the sun whenever possible. Walk on the side of the street that is in shade. Look at the illuminated beauty of the world from a place where you yourself are not in direct sunlight. Do not sunbathe or seek to get a tan. White is cool!
- Wear a hat, gloves (yes!) and sun-protective clothing. Many common items of summer clothing do not block much UVA, even though because you don’t get sunburn (UVB) you think you’re covered. An example of a good sun-protective clothing company is
www.coolibar.com (I have several items from them including a very light comfortable sunjacket that I wear all the time outside on a daily basis (I told you it was a bit eccentric. It’s a little hard to get used to at first.)
- Wear a daily moisturizing broadband (UVA+UVB) sunblock. That means, after you are up and washed, you apply this stuff to your face, neck, hands, and perhaps forearms. It’s a change in your morning routine and kind of a pain in the *ss. You must make sure it’s a sunblock that blocks both UVA and UVB. There are only two I know of that are certified to do this: one product called Anthelios SX with Mexoryl, and another by Neutrogena that contains “Helioplex” (if it doesn’t contain Helioplex, it doesn’t block UVA, regardless of the SPF rating). I prefer the Anthelios, but they both would work.
- Get UV blocking film installed on your car windows. Glass does not block UVA radiation. When you are driving, you are taking a UVA sunbath. I had broadband UV blocking film installed on the windows of both my cars. The total cost was about $750. A pleasant side effect is it keeps the car somewhat cooler in summer as well.
- Consider installing UV blocking film on some of the windows in your house. If you have a lot of windows, perhaps a home office where you sit by the window a lot, you are getting regular UVA exposure. You don’t necessarily need to do the whole house, but any area where you regularly sit (home office, breakfast nook, sunroom, etc) would be a good area to install film.
- Make sure your sunglasses are fully certified to block broadband UV at the 99% level or more. This should be easy to find. Wear them all the time when you are outside.
- If you have some favorite items of clothing you like to wear in the summer, there is a product called Sunguard that you can add to a load of laundry. This stuff soaks into the clothes and makes them better than 97% UV blocking. It lasts for over 20 washings and doesn’t seem to change the feel or look of the material. My wife loves this stuff.
When I am outside, I always have on a broadband UV sunblock cream, a hat, my sunjacket and sungloves, and sunglasses. Do I look a little eccentric? Yup! What does my wife think about it? She loves it!! I even have a face mask I can put on that completely protects my cheeks, nose and rest of my face. I wear this if I am out all afternoon at, for example, one of my son’s soccer games. It makes me look like a terrorist and I get some odd looks. However, I have found its very comfortable, keeps me feeling cooler, and of course, provides complete UV protection. My wife has really gotten into all this now too. She likes the idea of taking the best care of her lovely ladies’ skin, so when we are out now, we look like the Sunblock Twins ! We are quite cute together and our neighbors seem to have adjusted to it. They have even become curious and we have become the neighborhood “UV Spokespeople” on the block. My wife can give quite a good lecture about all this Getting hooked up with a board certified dermatologist might make sense.
Get a ColonoscopyIf you are over 50, you need to have the full blown colonoscopy. Yep, this is the one that comedians are always joking about – the big scope – all the way in. It’s no fun, but colon cancer is one of the leading cancers that kill men. It’s much more common in men than women for some reason. This is especially important if any member of your extended family has ever had colon cancer. Colon cancer has a high fatality rate when not detected very early, but it is also very responsive to prevention and early detection via colonoscopy. You should have one at 50, and then every 5 years thereafter. If they find any of these little pollups, they remove them and you are good to go. My father died of colon cancer and I can tell you it is an ugly way to go.
Also, make sure you are eating a high fiber diet. This is one of the best known dietary measures to reduce the risk of colon cancer. It works. I take a few tablespoons a day of extra fiber with meals and water (lots). This stuff is available in big jars (like psyllium husk fiber). It’s like eating ground up hey. It’s not exciting, but it’s benign.
It seems we can get used to anything if we do it regularly.
Get a Complete Urological ExamIt is recommended that a man get a complete urological exam when he turns 50 – both physiological and blood testing, all that. Make sure you go to a board certified urologist with around 15 years of experience. Don’t go to a guy with 30 years experience. I think some of these guys are out of touch with the latest developments in this area. This is particularly important to establish a baseline for the prevention of prostate cancer. Prostate cancer seems to be something that all men eventually get. However, there can be wide variations in when it might start, how fast it would progress, and the prognosis for treatment. The earlier you become aware of this and monitor this, the better off you will be.
This area also came up with a real surprise for me that I’ll tell you about. After the doctor did the blood work he asked me to come back and see him. I thought, “Oh oh!” He asked me, “Steve, over the past year or two, have you noticed any changes in how your bones and joints feel? Have they felt more sore or ‘heavy’? Have you noticed any mood swings, maybe cyclical, that are a little out of step with how you usually react to things?” Well, I was amazed. I told him, “Doc, it’s funny you should ask. I’ve noticed over the past year when I take walks that my legs feel like bad shock absorbers. My feet hit the ground, and it feels like they hit the ground too hard and my bones hurt. About mood swings, I’ve noticed a little of that too, I think.” Well, it turns out that one of the blood tests they do is Testosterone level, and mine was low. Some of the symptoms I was having are related to that.
It turns out that at about the age of 50, half of all men will start to have dropping testosterone levels – and some not. It’s just genetic and luck (like going bald) and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it or cause it. Well, he put me on a low-dose testosterone treatment program and I get a shot of testosterone cypionate (that’s what they call it) about every other week. Originally I would go to his office for the shots. Now I just do it myself. They have other ways of doing this. For example, one option was a gel that you would rub on your skin. However, be careful – a little bit of this stuff could rub off on your wife, and that would be bad news. For me, I just wasn’t going to take any chances. I have no problem with shots, and that’s the safest way to deal with this stuff if you’re living intimately with a woman.
Sure enough, after about 8 weeks, my legs went back to feeling normal. He also asked me about my libido. Basically I told him that mine seemed OK as far as I could tell, but apparently dropping testosterone levels can also cause a dropping libido. Don’t get too excited, though. I haven’t noticed any affect on my libido and you don’t go around horny with a hard-on all the time with this stuff LOL. It’s certainly possible it’s prevented some decline in my libido, I don’t know. There is one mildly annoying side effect. My back is definitely hairy than it used to be, although I’ve always been a bit of a hairy beast.
Keep Your Weight DownBeing overweight is related to increased risks in a whole bunch of different health areas and the risks start rising rapidly with age. When a man turns 50, there is a definite drop in the number of calories his body needs everyday to function. More than likely, if he continues his eating habits from his 30s and 40s, he will put on weight in his 50s. You may hear that an average man needs something like 2500 cal/day to maintain weight, but honestly, I don’t think I need more than 1400 a day. My weight has been the about the same for most of my adult life, but I definitely noticed a drop in the amount of food I need after turning 50. There are huge advantages to keeping your weight down in many areas. And no doubt, your wife will appreciate it. My wife thinks I’m still the same stud she met 7 years ago. I like that.
So how do you keep your weight down? You have to change what you eat, how much you eat, and your attitude about the role that food plays in your life. You just don’t need that much of it. Get used to it. You also have to get regular exercise, which you should do anyway. I don’t make a big deal out of exercise. All I do is take walks, maybe 5-6 days a week for around 45 minutes. My wife and I walk together and we enjoy it very much (It’s a good time to talk about things). About the food itself, here’s what I’ve noticed. You’ve got to keep the fats down - just too many calories. Keep your portions small. Don’t eat “white” carbohydrates: pasta, potato, white bread, all that stuff. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Man, you just cannot gain weight eating fruits and vegetables. If you have an FSU wife, she may want to cook great things for you and see you eat a lot. You’ve got to teach her that you don’t need much and that eating a lot is not how you’re going to show your appreciation for her (and make sure you find all those other ways to show it). My mother in law, whenever we visit, is constantly trying to shove more food down my throat than I need. She genuinely feels that if I don’t eat a lot, she has failed and her food isn’t tasty enough. It’s hard to explain to a Russian mother that you just don’t need it. She doesn’t believe you! )
I Color My HairHere’s a vanity confession: I started coloring my hair after my first divorce. I was 44 and I was at least half gray. When I looked in the mirror I thought, “Nope. I don’t like this. I am not ready for this!” This was especially true as I was contemplating dating again. So, I started coloring my hair. I was already coloring my hair before I met my FSU wife and I have continued to do so. This area is strictly cosmetic and I know some guys may think its stupid, but I’m just telling you I do it because, in fact, I do. My wife has said that she doesn’t care, that she doesn’t love me because of my hair, and all that stuff you would expect her to say. And it’s true. But still, I think it would be unnerving for her if I went to bed on Monday, and she saw me Tuesday for the first time ever with all my gray hair. Maybe someday I’ll start to reduce the amount of coloring slowly, so the change seems more natural and there’s time to adjust to it. But on the other hand, I like it. I really do. I like how I look the way it is. I am still emotionally not ready for that gray hair, I guess.
So that’s it. I hope some of this information and ideas are useful to my fellow OMBs, and maybe something to think about for you younger fellows as well.
