A well thought out WOVO Plan

[steviej]

Under the broad definition of Polygamy, it would seem that a serial monogamist could meet that definition perhaps.

Since I only visit one of my wives on a given night, am I a polygamist or a serial monogamist? 

[Ronnie]

Since I only visit one of my wives on a given night, am I a polygamist or a serial monogamist? 

It would seem that recycling would be bad, so as long as you stick a regimen of use once and throw away...I see no problem.

[Pike]

Comparing dating at home to dating in the FSU is not without fallacy.  At home you have months or years to engage in serial dating.  In FSU, with only a few weeks at a time available, you must compress everything.  I am against both WOVO and WMVM.  I did both and saw and experienced the drawbacks of each. 

Ultimately I decided what worked was just to go and do serial dating.  A first meeting BTW is not a date.  You can meet, say, 10 women in a week, then pick the one with mutual interest to date until a decision about  feelings and marriage can reasonably be made.  If it only takes a second date to rule out a continued relationship, then move on to the next prospect.  That's not dating many at one time, which I tried and didn't like.

Ronnie, you seem to be trying to redefine here. 

What you describe as your 'serial dating' is exactly the way WMVM works.

If in doubt, read the many threads here with input from the FSUW.  For them, WOVO specifically forbids any plan to meet any other women on the trip or even any plan to have back-up ladies.  So if you have other women on your list, even if they are only to be met if the first gal doesn't pan out, you are doing a WMVM.

[Shadow]

Ronnie, you seem to be trying to redefine here. 

What you describe as your 'serial dating' is exactly the way WMVM works.

If in doubt, read the many threads here with input from the FSUW.  For them, WOVO specifically forbids any plan to meet any other women on the trip or even any backup plans.  So if you have other women on your list, even if they are only to be met if the first gal doesn't pan out, you are doing a WMVM.

Actually wrong. the backup plan for WOVO can be anything, from going back early and seeing the sights to finding an agency and meet others.

[Pike]

Actually wrong. the backup plan for WOVO can be anything, from going back early and seeing the sights to finding an agency and meet others.

I don't get your point.  We seem to be talking apples and oranges.  I didn't say a backup plan couldn't cover the things you mentioned.  I just repeated what the FSUW who post here have said:  A WOVO cannot involve any prior plan to meet any other women on the trip.

[Ronnie]

Ronnie, you seem to be trying to redefine here. 

What you describe as your 'serial dating' is exactly the way WMVM works.

If in doubt, read the many threads here with input from the FSUW.  For them, WOVO specifically forbids any plan to meet any other women on the trip or even any plan to have back-up ladies.  So if you have other women on your list, even if they are only to be met if the first gal doesn't pan out, you are doing a WMVM.

Pike,
I see a difference.  WMVM is typically a planned itinerary such as:

Monday: Arrive in Odessa, met Oksana at 1:00 PM
Tue: Meet Lyuda for lunch.  Dinner with Oksana.
Wed: Meet Natasha K for lunch: Tea with Oksana: Dinner with Lyuda
Thu: Play it by ear.
Fri: Travel to Kherson: Meet Sveta for tea: Olga for dinner

You get the point:

Serial dating:
Monday: meet with agency, ask them to arrange meetings with ladies I've selected and the agency recommends:
Tues: Meet 4 ladies
Wed:  Meet 4 other ladies - select the most promising candidate and ask for a date.
Thu: Date that candidate until you or she wave off the relationship.
Then try for second most promising candidate or arrange new meetings in same city or move on.

Serial does not involve writing to anyone or dating more than one comtemporaneously or making pre-arranged dates.

[Misha]

Serial does not involve writing to anyone or dating more than one comtemporaneously or making pre-arranged dates.

I did not use an agency, so my serial dating went like this:

• Go online and chat.
• Set up a date with one woman.
• Meet woman, see if there is chemistry or shared interest.
• If first date works out, repeat until things don't work out or until you are married
• If first (or subsequent dates) don't work out, return online and repeat process until successful.

[Ronnie]

I did not use an agency, so my serial dating went like this:

• Go online and chat.
• Set up a date with one woman.
• Meet woman, see if there is chemistry or shared interest.
• If first date works out, repeat until things don't work out or until you are married
• If first (or subsequent dates) don't work out, return online and repeat process until successful.

And that's the way to do it...locally...but in when you're over there, you have to replace the online chatting with a face to face meeting arranged by the agency.

[Misha]

And that's the way to do it...locally...but in when you're over there, you have to replace the online chatting with a face to face meeting arranged by the agency.

I spoke Russian and did not need any agencies. The method I describe is the method I used in Russia.

[Ronnie]

I didn't need a translator either and didn't use on for the last two years of my search.  I continued to use agencies to save myself the time of corresponding.  I see a profile on their site that looks interesting and Bam! Within a few minutes or hours the agency had her sitting in front of me.  From what you are saying, when you broke off a situation, you returned to the computer and started corresponding.  That had to eat up a lot of time.

I don't get it.  Only if you were living there would that approach make any sense.  And even then...why?   Most guys, as everyone knows, only have two weeks or so to spend.

[Misha]

From what you are saying, when you broke off a situation, you returned to the computer and started corresponding.  That had to eat up a lot of time.

Not at all. I could go to a free Russian dating site, chat with a few women and line up a date within an hour or less. I was passing through one Russian city where I was staying on business. Spend a week or so and managed to meet a few women for coffee (or in one case breakfast).

[Ronnie]

Oh, Misha, I see.  Chatting is different from emails.  That's not what I was thinking.  Wouldn't have worked for me though since my language abilities were, and remain, largely verbal..writing would have been a good exercise but too cumbersome for me.  Of course for 99% of us, chatting online in Russian would be a nonstarter.

[Misha]

Oh, Misha, I see.  Chatting is different from emails. 

This is how the Russian dating site I was using works. You send a message to a woman. She gets a little beep saying that she has a message. She can check her message if she is online. If she wants, she can reply. If I am still online, I hear a little beep and can check my message. It isn't instantaneous, but if both are online, you can get a response within 10-15 seconds.

[msmoby_ru]

Ronnie, you seem to be trying to redefine here. 

What you describe as your 'serial dating' is exactly the way WMVM works.

If in doubt, read the many threads here with input from the FSUW.  For them, WOVO specifically forbids any plan to meet any other women on the trip or even any plan to have back-up ladies.  So if you have other women on your list, even if they are only to be met if the first gal doesn't pan out, you are doing a WMVM.

Pike, you simply show you cannot grasp the concept / spirit of a WOVO trip..

It is not a "demand" it is not "forbidden" it is a *mutual* pause in considering others until you have met - as you like what you see / hear  / read...  someone on a "wovo" is hoping they have chosen well and hopes the other party has a similiar degree of interest...  A "wovo" is not for those who aren't confident in their abilities or who can't take disappointment and learn from it.  A "wovo" is a trip to meet someone with which you feel you have a great deal in common.  You feel you don't NEED a "plan B"

[Ronnie]

I remember Donna Pedro asserting smugly..."I wrote and said what I knew he wanted to hear."

[BC]

Quote from: Pike on 13 July 2008, 22:47:59

Ronnie, you seem to be trying to redefine here.

What you describe as your 'serial dating' is exactly the way WMVM works.

Paying someone to arrange a meeting is not a 'date' in my book.. but maybe that's just me.

In any case whatever floats your boat is just fine with me.

[Ronnie]

Quote from: Pike on 13 July 2008, 22:47:59
Paying someone to arrange a meeting is not a 'date' in my book.. but maybe that's just me.

In any case whatever floats your boat is just fine with me.

BC, I said exactly that a few pages ago.  An initial meeting is not a date.  Whether you pay for the introduction or arrange it yourself in a chat room.

[Misha]

BC, I said exactly that a few pages ago.  An initial meeting is not a date.  Whether you pay for the introduction or arrange it yourself in a chat room.

So you wouldn't call it a first date? So when can you call it a date?

[steviej]

I remember Donna Pedro asserting smugly..."I wrote and said what I knew he wanted to hear."

Hey .. my wife still does that !     

[Ronnie]

So you wouldn't call it a first date? So when can you call it a date?

Would you call being introduced to someone at a party...a date?  I don't.

[ScottinCrimea]

Ronnie, there's a big difference between being introduced to someone at a party and arranging to meet someone one on one.  If you are introduced to a woman at an agency, I agree, that isn't a date, but when you decide to go out for coffee, lunch, breakfast or whatever, just the two of you (or the three of you if an interpreter is involved) then it becomes a date.

[Misha]

Would you call being introduced to someone at a party...a date?  I don't.

I chatted online with my wife and then met her for coffee. We stayed at that cafe from 10pm to 4am talking, eating, talking some more, drinking coffee and tea before finally returning home. It was an introduction and I would qualify it as a date. But, I understand your logic. I will define my experience as a introduction and first date.

[Ronnie]

Ronnie, there's a big difference between being introduced to someone at a party and arranging to meet someone one on one.  If you are introduced to a woman at an agency, I agree, that isn't a date, but when you decide to go out for coffee, lunch, breakfast or whatever, just the two of you (or the three of you if an interpreter is involved) then it becomes a date.

I agree there is a difference but I don't see it as a big difference.  My point is that it's the first point of introduction whether it's a self intro, or done by a third party.  The only difference I see on the third party intro is a fee to the one who introduces you.  I don't see the fee paid as making a difference.  Can a date evolve on the spot?  Misha has shown it can.

The reason for all this hair splitting is so that to distinguish the difference between serial dating and plural dating.  Once a connection is made between two people and they agree to see each other, meeting others turns into an unmanageable WMVM or plural dating situation.  This is why writing many presents a problem.  Writing over time and telecons can move a couple past the introduction state to the point where the first face to face meeting (visit) becomes a "date" and women get really upset if you are making the rounds with several such budding relationships at the same time.

I've tried, and perhaps poorly, to express why I feel that if you don't WOVO, then just go without writing and do the Serial thing.  Juggling concurrent dates can produce no good results.

I guess could use the acronym WNMMDS  (Write none, meet many, date serially).