Thoughts from a Mother-in-law or just a mother....

[Mamma D]

I began to reply to one of our members today, and realized that I really want to tell all of you how Lucky you are to be finding each other.

You are extra Lucky to have children. This Odyssey began back more than 20 years ago, when My son made is first trip to Russia to meet a great lady. Yulia was from St. Petersburg and had a set of 5 year old twins.....and all went well...but in the end, She could not make that jump of Faith, She had been here before and there had been lies and deceit.  She met and married a man from Germany and it has been good.

At that time, I found Russia Today and there was a boy, who posted... he had been brought to America... and he thought he would die away from Mother Russia. It broke my heart to think a child could feel this way. I began to work and post to him and others for a time. Then, I was active on the old St, Johns list and several others.

By and By my son visited several ladies in Ekaterinburg.....and finally after many visits and a very large amount of frustration we finally got that EMAIL.... "Mom K-1 is in hand and I am bringing my family home!"

Not long ago this lady, who IS my Russian born daughter! Stood on her back porch and said.... " It is so good to be home...Where else in the world is there such a sight!" She opened her arms to the Great Front Range of the Rocky Mountains".....

The remainder of this post is part of a letter sent another member.....

Just As I am, the proud GrandMother of an outstanding Russian born grandson.....and I have the worlds best Russian born daughter! My Russian counterpart has also become a good friend.

She raised Basil that first 11 years, she was there at 6:00 in the morning.. feed him, bathed him, Rocked him , and LOVED him. Just as I did the baby that we lost at 11 years old,  two years ago.....So I know the pain of watching him and Irena go half a world away.

I am Granny,,,, because I can't say babushka properly... can't spell it either! 

Basil was 11 when he came, and I have had the joy of watching him bloom, Dick is every bit the father to him, as to Brandon and Jennifer.

The first Thanksgiving dinner he declared he was most Thankful to be America and have a DAD.

In 1952 I stood on the deck of an American troop ship, with a two year old and 7 month old baby.....And watched the Statue of Liberty, grow smaller and smaller. My stomach dropped to my toes and I said to myself, "What are you doing?"

Now, I knew that in 2 years I would come home. I knew that the father of these two kids would be on the pier at South Hampton.... My passport had guarantees of my passage home in case of crisis. AND I WAS SCARED TO DEATH!

I cannot even come close to knowing how these brave ladies might feel when they leave there homes, and families, everything they ever knew, to come here and become one of us.....

Each of you men should feel really special to have such a lady......

Today basil has completed his first year at Stanford....He has grown and matured and learned a great deal about himself and the world around him.....and he likes sand and palm trees     

You see I am an old  prunepicker!   Love those beaches and palms also!

Mamma D

PS...  my granddaughter is a Capt. in the USAF Intelligence, and Brandon is decorated Marine recruiter.

[Gator]

It is splendid that you posted your story to the board.  You first shared it with me, and I was just about to ask you to post it.   

For RWD's new members, Mamma D writes from the perspective of the loving parent of an American man married to a RW.  Many of you ask about what your family will think - well here is a very positive story.

Plus Mamma D is a very wise woman.

[docetae]

Your post make me think to a talk I had with my mother yesterday. I am born in France, moved to Canada 10 years ago now when I was 24. My mother told me that the day we say good bye at the airport was one of the more difficult for her. I was no more living at home, but this time, there will be an ocean, a physical distance between us. It was tearful for her.

We talked about my wedding and she asked me about my mother in law feeling about her daughter choice. She is leaving 10 hours of train from Kiev, but I saw in her eyes the same look that my mother had 10 years ago when I received my permanent visa from Canada.

Her grand son will move too. I felt her hapiness for her daughter but at the same time the mother who does not want to see her first child staying 8000 km away...

I am from a family of military, diplomat and travelers, my mother knew all time that I would not stay in France, moving to other countries is in our genes, but I can imagine what can feel these parents....

[Ooooops]

Mamma D, you are a wonderful storyteller!   You family is a very lucky one to have you on board.   

[steviej]

Your son is lucky to have a mother that loves his Russian wife as he does. My mother is still stuck on my ex-wife    She really just doesn't accept divorce and she maintains her relations with my ex-wife. I don't mind that, and they had a good relationship before and there's no reason for it not to continue. But there is definitely a chill in the air (subtle) w.r.t. my new wife (Hey, she's not even "new" anymore LOL). I've told my mother, "Mom, you have to understand. If "ex-wife's name" had been a good wife, I wouldn't be divorced. If  "ex-wife's-name" had made your son happy, I wouldn't be divorced. Ulyana makes your son, me, very happy, doesn't that make you happy? Doesn't that make you love Ulyana?" LOL she'll admit, a little grudgingly, well, OK. ... I don't mind much because I know she's a bit stuck in her ways. But still, I would love to feel she unabashedly loved my Ulyana the way Granny D does

[Ooooops]

I gotta tell that I've been blessed with great parent-in-law as well.   They love me and I love them.   Unfortunately, my Father-in-law passed away 2 years ago.   Great loss to all of us...

[steviej]

I gotta tell that I've been blessed with great parent-in-law as well.   They love me and I love them.   Unfortunately, my Father-in-law passed away 2 years ago.   Great loss to all of us...

I'm sorry to hear that Oooops. My Russian inlaws are all over me with love. Our beloved Granny, who was very close to my Ulyana all her life, passed away last year, and it was a sad time for all of us. My favorite Granny story, which I didn't know at the time, was during the earlier courtship days of our relationship. My Ulyana would always make two calls every day, no matter where we were, or where we were staying (unless we were with her relatives). In the afternoon she would call her Granny and in the evening she would call her mother. They would speak with great animation in Russian, so I never knew what they were talking about (but I always loved the sound of it). My Ulyana would always tell me, "Granny sends all her love and a big hug to you." What I didn't know was Granny was also reminding my Ulyana "not to let him have sex with you until he marries you .." LOL ... Granny was always looking out for her little chicken. We both miss her dearly.

[Ooooops]

My beloved Grandma passed away in 2004.   I miss her soooooo much...   She used to call my husband in Russian way adding "-ooshka" to his name.  She loved him a lot, because he makes me happy.  The name stuck and now my Dad and my sister call him like that too.