To shave or not to shave, that is the question

[kryten41]

I am about to make my second trip to see my wonderful Ukrainian woman whom I adore.  I am contemplating shaving my beard because she hinted at our first meeting that I might look better without it. My question to the ladies on this forum is: will it make me look like a weak man if I shave at my lady's request?

Thanks.

[OlgaH]

Hello kryten41,

can we see your beard before making a decision

[Blues Fairy]

Do you want to shave it off?  If you do, shave; if not, don't shave.  If ambivalent, shave and tell your woman you are simply experimenting and might go back to your hirsute look in case you find yourself suffering from too much breeze. 

[kryten41]

Thanks for the replies.  I'd rather not post my face on the internet. I keep my beard short and well trimmed. However, unlike the hair on my head, which is brown, my beard has started turning gray.  I wear a beard because I think I look better with it than without it, but if my significant other thinks otherwise, I don't mind baring my face to the world. I just don't want her to think poorly of me because I gave in so easily.

[SANDRO43]

Thanks for the replies.  I'd rather not post my face on the internet. I keep my beard short and well trimmed. However, unlike the hair on my head, which is brown, my beard has started turning gray.  I wear a beard because I think I look better with it than without it

I had a similar problem years ago, i.e. my beard was starting to show irregular patches of gray. I would not have minded if it had been a uniform gray, so I first disposed of it but kept my moustaches, then did away with the whole lot.

At first I was rather shocked at how bland I looked, then got used to it. You can watch the sequence here: www.floriani.it/fsf-seq-eng.htm .

[steviej]

Has she ever seen you without a beard? Ever sent photos that aren't too old with just your plain face? Maybe she just wants to see your face? Is your chin missing or deformed? Maybe she doesn't want to see you with that gray hair yet ...

[ScottinCrimea]

When I first met my wife I had a full beard and I thought I looked fine with it even though those touches of gray were starting to show up.  At her request I shaved it and never felt that it showed any weakness on my part to give in to her request.  In fact, she was pleased that I would consider her wishes.  Like others have mentioned, it's not anything permanent and if the results aren't satisfactory you can always grow it back.

Keepp in mind that a hint by a RW means something different than a hint by a AW.

[Ade]

Contrary to popular belief, consideration for others is not a weakness.

The fact that you even phrase the question like you do and mention "weakness" has me shaking my head.

Maybe you should just get a pet instead?

[SANDRO43]

Maybe she just wants to see your face? ... Maybe she doesn't want to see you with that gray hair yet ...

Or maybe she has a sensitive skin and yours is a rash-inducing bristle  ?

[groovlstk]

I just don't want her to think poorly of me because I gave in so easily.

There are some things a guy needs to take a stand on, others where he might want to resist so as not to appear as a pushover. With a RW, you're probably best conceding personal grooming and especially your choice in shoes. Everything else is up for grabs 

[apple47]

        I've had a full beard since June 1976.  Never been shaved off and never will be.   Anywhere I posted a profile I made it known that the beard was non-negotiable.  Within the first 3 emails this position was brought up for a reminder.   Some things you just have to get clear before a relationship even gets started.


                                                          ...Larry

[diverboy70]

I got a very subtle hint that a beard would not be a very popular thing. She put it in the words, that her father had grown a beard once and she had hated it

[OlgaH]

Or maybe she has a sensitive skin and yours is a rash-inducing bristle  ?

Sandro, I think it could be her polite hint that she doesn't like beards. 

kryten41, what about your moustaches. Does she want you to shave them too?

[SANDRO43]

Sandro, I think it could be her polite hint that she doesn't like beards. 

And I thought that FSUW had a soft spot for beards, another urban myth exposed .

[OlgaH]

And I thought that FSUW had a soft spot for beards, another urban myth exposed .

may be it depends on a spot where a charismatic beard is 

[SANDRO43]

may be it depends on a spot where a charismatic beard is 

Olga, we men are flexible, but cannot grow a beard anywhere just  to please you .

[OlgaH]

Olga, we men are flexible, but cannot grow a beard anywhere just  to please you .

Sandro, the new technologies  in the cosmetology of our century can help not only to grow but even not to grow any hair anywhere   

[SANDRO43]

Sandro, the new technologies  in the cosmetology of our century can help not only to grow but even not to grow any hair anywhere

Olga, if you share your secret with our beloved Premier Berlusconi, he'll probably make you rich - in recent years he's had two hair transplants to re-cover his pate .

And in his 'after' photo he's not as smiling as 'before' .

[kryten41]

Olga, I didn't think about the possibility of shaving the beard but leaving the moustache.  I don't think that would be best--Hercule Poirot I'm not.  With the beard I bear a startling resemblance to Martin Sheen in the movie "Spawn". If it's the bristle effect, I think she's making a mistake--I think my beard is less abrasive than my 5 o'clock shadow.  Ah well, off it comes. If she doesn't like what's under it, she can always suggest that I would look better with a beard.  I sent her some fuzzy old photos of young me with no beard, but I've had it too long to be able to send her anything recent. I think she will be surprised at the airport when she sees the white skin where my graying beard was!

[BillyB]

I am contemplating shaving my beard because she hinted at our first meeting that I might look better without it.

Take the hint. I haven't seen many beards in the FSU and they're probably not in style. What's more important? Pleasing yourself or your partner? Relationships where people have the attitude of pleasing themselves probably don't work as well as those who try to please each other. Hopefully the lady you're visiting has the attitude to please you too.

[SANDRO43]

I've had a full beard since June 1976. Never been shaved off and never will be.

I kept my beard for 26 years, and a negative side to shaving it off was that my thitherto covered face skin never fully recovered its original melanin content, as you can probably see from my avatar photo. My barber maintains it's due to my greyish beard growth, but I disagree since the effect is still apparent when freshly shaven .

Having been shielded from the sun for so long, my skin probably decided that melanin was no longer necessary there .

[OlgaH]

With the beard I bear a startling resemblance to Martin Sheen in the movie "Spawn".

kryten41,

I would never ask you to shave your beard!

I think she will be surprised at the airport when she sees the white skin where my graying beard was!

May be you should keep your mustache to smooth the difference in colors 

[OlgaH]

Olga, if you share your secret with our beloved Premier Berlusconi, he'll probably make you rich - in recent years he's had two hair transplants to re-cover his pate .

And in his 'after' photo he's not as smiling as 'before' .

Did he try to rub onion purée or tincture of cayenne mixed with warm olive oil into skin? But I think it's too late...

What's happen to his smile? Did he has a plastic surgery?

[OlgaH]

What's more important? Pleasing yourself or your partner?

Same thing concerns women as well

[Mishenka]

When Galina asked me to shave, I went ahead and did it.  She told me I looked 10 years younger.  So I figured that was her main point. Her next request was let's go to the store and buy some hair dye to get the grey out. This confirmed what I thought was her main point.  I don't have enough hair to worry about what color it is ( I laughed).  I decided why not, I'll try anything once.  She was right, I look way younger without the mustache,  and the kissing,,  omg the kissing is totally incredible.  My advice, SHAVE and ENJOY
it won't hurt to get the Gray out either.

Russian women go out of their way to look their best before they step out the door. Their men should too.  After a night of kissing and feeling her touching your face you will soon forget about your beard. In fact you will wonder why you kept it all this time.

Cheers
Mishenka