To Kerch the Wong way... Or was it Wight?

[TheWongs]

Prelude to a LONG story!

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A few months later....

Ok... Here I am... Sitting on my own on a Friday night, thinking about my honey and all the things that have happened to me over the months. I feel that I must share some of this with unsuspecting people, who think this is a piece of cake, or think they can go to Russia / Ukraine and meet the perfect woman, first time, without any problems or disappointments. Are you in for a surprise!

I will continue from where I left off... Planning the next visit to Kerch.

While I was there the first time, Galina told me about a Scottish man who was living in Kerch and had been there for 3 years. On my way home, I was sitting on the train to Kiev, when I received a text message from Galina, giving me the mobile phone number for this man. I sent him a message to say that I was sorry to have missed him on this visit, but it would be great to hear from him anyway. I also sent my email address. When I arrived home in Ireland, he had sent me an email and we started to communicate via MSN almost every night. He told me about some problems in Bagerovo village (very close to Kerch) and the children’s nursery projects etc. I felt compelled to do something, even if it was only an excuse to return to Kerch.  Oops! I forgot to tell you about the children’s nursery... Cutting it short, the nursery closed during the winter of 2005 / 2006 due to the heating boiler blowing up. There was no money to replace it. There is also a school in this village that had virtually nothing. The English teacher can barley speak English herself!

I kept in Contact with this man while I planned my next trip. This trip was not going to involve meeting some woman I’d been writing to, so it made it more exiting for some strange reason. I sorted out my business, gathered up some money and decided to return to Kerch. While I was planning and arranging this, I bumped into a bloke who was very interested in the whole thing and decided to come with me. I was glad of the company and thought it would be great fun to have a companion on the next visit to Ukraine. This man will be referred to as “F”..........

[TheWongs]

So... “F” and I flew to Birmingham airport, then on to Kiev, where we were met by my good friend Pavel. He took us to some places in Kiev, including the Irish bar of course. He then took us to the train and saw us on our way.

We had a great time on the train, due to some VERY nice attendants, who were happy to bring us beer and chat to us in English. The trip felt very short and we arrived in Simferopol to stay the night. The train arrived in Simferopol at 10pm, so there was no bus to Kerch at this time. The Scottish man “R” had a lawyer friend who said we could stay with his family. They must be the nicest people I have ever met! We were looked after very well indeed. I had never felt so welcome in anyone’s house before! The following morning we were on the bus to Kerch. We arrived and I met “R” face to face for the first time.

Now... This guy set off alarms in my head as soon as soon as I met him! I can’t put my finger on it, but there was something that didn’t seem right....................

He had arranged an apartment for us, so off we went. It was only about 100 yards from the bus station, which was very cool indeed. I mean... Who could get lost if you live at the main bus station? We put our bags in the apartment and jumped on a bus to Bagerovo village with “R”. He wanted to introduce us to the director of the airport and to some other people. WHY? ???

A few hours later, we were on the roof of the airport, looking down the runway with a large cognac in our hands. The director of the airport kept pouring, toasting and drinking. They were very impressed when I spoke to them in Russian, even though it was very limited. I noticed that “R” didn’t speak ANY Russian at all! When I asked why, he replied “I don’t need to. I just make them speak English”. WHAT! ???

We spent the rest of that day drinking and toasting, until I was so drunk that I dropped my mobile phone down the toilet.  Everyone thought this was very funny, but I was trying to arrange a meeting with a lady in Simferopol from one of the other forum’s at the time. There’s a blank spot in my memory at this point, but the next thing I remember was being on top of the mountain in Kerch, drinking and making toasts with the airport director, taking photo’s of Kerch (they turned out great by the way) and nearly falling down the steps leading to the town centre. Another memory lapse...

“F” and I are now in Lenin Street. I’m sitting on a bench, lighting a cigarette, when we were approached by a tasty English speaking lady, who invited us to join her for a drink. A few bars later and she is all over me! Next thing I know, she has me in the toilet and is all over me some more! Drunk or not, there was something not right...

While she was doing what she was doing, I slid my hands along her arms and retrieved my wallet! She jumped up and started saying “sorry, sorry, sorry”. I told her to go and fixed my clothing. When I returned to the table, there was no sign of “F” or the lady, or my coat. My passport was in my coat! How could I have been so stupid? After a lot of trouble, I paid the bar bill with dollars (they didn’t want them) and walked into Lenin Street. There was “F”, kicking the doors off a Lada! I ran over and looked inside. There she was! Then I looked at the driver and passenger........ It was a police car!!! I dragged “F” away and as I did, the car started to reverse up the street. “F” attacked it again and the VERY frightened policemen floored the car and made a getaway.

When the crowds dispersed and things settled, I noticed that “F” was holding my coat. Apparently, she had walked out of the toilet, lifted my coat and headed straight out the door. When “F” caught up with her, she was already sitting in the police car. He opened the door and grabbed my coat from her, before kicking the doors in. He didn’t know it was a police car.


This brings up a question and a caution.... Why did she go straight from the bar into a waiting police car?????????????? I asked about this later (on my next trip) and was told that some bad ladies work along with police. They help her out for a cut of the takings! The reason they took off was that they didn’t want to get involved in a fight with tourists! They certainly didn't want to get involved with tourists who can handle themselves! Lucky us, I think!................

We decided to go home and get some sleep. Now... Where was that apartment? I knew the area of the bus station, because I had stayed in that area on my first trip. The only problem was that on the first trip, I stayed in 2 apartments due to an electricity failure. OK.... Choose one and go for it.... Have you ever noticed that if you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right, there is a 90% chance you make the wrong choice? Yes... You guessed it... I took us the wrong way!

We arrived at one of the apartments I'd stayed in, but it was nowhere near the bus station. This is where "F" showed himself up. He went into a childish tantrum, kicking things and shouting at the top of his voice. Not wise at 3am in ANY foreign city! I decided to go it alone, told him to grow up (but not so politly) and head back towards the other apartment (there was a good chance it was the right one this time). "F" followed at a safe distance because he had no choice. We arrived home at about 4am and went to sleep. "Welcome to Kerch", I thought........

[TheWongs]

I had carried a CD player and a load of English lessons all the way to Kerch, so a few days later, we all went to Bagerovo to see if it all could work with the system they had (a 40's valve amplifier and reel to reel tape deck.  ). We arrived a the school and I set to work, ripping their system apart before the kids arrived for class. I got it working, but there was a few wires to solder, so the caretaker said he would do it after school. We were shown into the headmistresses office for tea / coffee.

I think every teacher in the school must have had some excuse to come into the office at this time. We were treated like hero's, but I didn't feel that I had done anything. It was sort of "embarrasing". After tea, we were told that we had to go to the English class, so the kids could thank us. This felt even more embarrasing!

We spent the next hour in the class talking to the kids. It was the best time I've ever had in Ukraine!  While the teacher was looking the other way, I would find something to do behind her back. The kids were in fits of laughter. When she turned around, there I was, standing with a serious look on my face. I used to do this sort of thing when I was at school and it brought back fond memories. At one point, the door to the classroom was open. I went to the door and stood there while "F" was asking the kids questions. I then looked down the hallway, jumped back and said "who? me?" in Russian. Everything went silent.... I then said "it was not me", also in russian. The teacher came to the door to see who was talking to me. This gave me the chance to say my favorite Russian word... She saw there was nobody there and looked at me. I said "pricolist" (comedian, or similar). :evil:

This was the shape of the whole afternoon. The poor teacher just gave up on English practise. It was still good for the kids to see we have a sense of humor and to hear a "native" English speaker (if I could be called that). A fun day was had by all!

The next few days were spent looking at property with "F" and "R". This is the reason "F" wanted to come to Ukraine. I saw very early on that he was going to have a problem in this country. He was constantly complaining about something. There was nothing good enough for him. "Why don't they fix the water? Why don't they build new houses? Why don't they fix the roads? This place is sh**", are some of the stupid comments. I decided to avoid the both of them and let them get on with it.

My mobile phone had dried out, so I re-fitted the battery... It worked (sort of). I sent a message to my friend from another forum "J". We arranged to meet in Simferopol at the bus station. Off I went to book a ticket. I don't remember how much it was for the 4 hour bus trip, but it was VERY cheap. I booked a seat on the early bus. I was going to escape from "R" & "F" and go to Simferopol in the morning at 6.00am!

[TheWongs]

So... Where was I? Oh yes... Going to Simferopol...

“J” asked me to meet her at the post office and gave me directions. I had only been there a few times and I don’t know Simferopol, so I was a little worried about if she was talking about the same bus station as I was. I was also worried about going there to meet someone and maybe her not being there or something. “R” had a lawyer friend called Erol, who I liked immediately when I met him. It just so happens, he works there some days and this was one of them. I called him and asked if he could give me directions to where I was meeting “J”, just to “double-check”. He did better than that! He told me that he would be at the bus station to meet me and he would take me to the post office. He would stay with me until she arrived. I knew I liked this man!  So... I jumped on the bus and settled down for the trip.

The bus stops in Fedosia on it’s way, so people can do what they have to do, grab a coffee or a smoke, or anything else they need. I was glad that I understood enough Russian to know what 15 minutes sounded like, so I had a smoke and went for a short walk to stretch my legs. I liked Fedosia, but didn’t see much of it in the time given. I did notice when we were driving into the town, that there is a LOT of building work being carried out. All tourist stuff, like hotels, restaurants, entertainments, apartments etc. There’s a place on the outskirts, they call “the golden mile” (a VERY rough translation). It’s a long stretch of very nice beach. This seems to be the reason for the building work. I later saw that in summer, it is a hive of activity and you can’t see this beach for people. I took the opportunity to grab a picture as I walked away from the bus...

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After my walk and a smoke, I jumped back on the bus and we were on our way again. This was a very nice bus, compared to the others I’d been on in Ukraine. It had a flat screen tv and they put a movie on as we left Fedosia. A few hours later, we arrived in Simferopol and Erol was standing at the station waiting for me, with his huge smile (he has this really big, warm smile and you can’t help but like him). He greeted me and off we went to the post office. He stood with me for a few minutes until I noticed a lady who seemed to be waiting for someone. Erol said I should wait until she saw me, but she was looking for a man on his own, so I walked over and asked if she was “J”. With a big smile, she said... “net”. Oops.  It was nice to meet her anyway.
A few minutes later, a flustered young lady arrived at the post office and started scanning the area. I liked my last experience, so I walked over and asked if she was “J”. This time it was. I introduced her to Erol, who chatted to her for a while and then left us to it. She was not at all what I imagined! There was something quite attractive about her and she had beautiful eyes. She said that she would show me the main street and we could maybe have something to eat (why do Russian / Ukrainian women always think a man needs to eat?). We had food, walked, talked and laughed a lot! As soon as we met, there was this “thing” between us. We were able to joke on the same level and it was not long before we had our own “catch phrases”. If she saw a drunken man, she would say “I do not drink at all. Only fruit juice and milk”. It’s not that funny now, but at the time, I found it very funny indeed! Maybe it was the way she said it?

We had a great day together. She was not “my type” if there is such a thing, but she is a great friend. Very funny lady and full of life. We were on a bus together and we saw a policeman stop a van driver. He was VERY big (around the waist). “J” said “maybe he is starving and needs to get money for food”. I replied “maybe his wife told him not to come home until he had a new fur coat for her”. She spent the next few minutes translating this to the people on the bus who were looking at the “foreign speakers”. At the end of what seemed a very short day, I gave her a big hug and a kiss, then climbed aboard the last bus to Kerch....

She took a few pictures while we travelled...

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Oh... Almost forgot... When we were walking, a tram came through a set of traffic lights. As it came through, I remember thinking “too fast”! I was right! The rods jumped off the cables and a large piece of metal hit the road. The driver (a woman) hooked the tram back onto the cables and went on her way. A few minutes later, this wagon turned up and the guys fixed the broken bits of metal. They worked very carefully, because the wires were “live”! That’s fast work! Imagine the same thing in England... The power would have to be turned off; the roads would have to be diverted..... Then this, then that.... you get the picture.

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[TheWongs]

When I arrived back in Kerch, I went out for a drink with “F”. We had been to this bar in the market area a few times and liked it (and the staff). It was only two more full days until we left for home, so we decided to make the most of them. Although “F” and I didn’t always see eye to eye, he was good company when he was settled and sober. He was just a little too “volcanic” or “unstable” for my liking. When we arrived, the staff all smiled as usual and got us our beers without us needing to ask. I like that! 

There was a party of women there, taking up the whole bar floor, dancing and having a great time. It was not long before we were having a laugh with them. There was a very attractive lady who took a break from dancing and sat opposite us. She waved at me and asked me to come over. “F” thought she was asking him and I didn’t care, so we both went over to her table. “F” sat beside her and started to talk to her. She didn’t speak a word of English! I tried to talk to her and explained that my Russian was very bad. When I had exhausted all my Russian phrases, she told us to wait and went outside. She made a quick phone call and came back. She told us her friend was coming and she speaks English.

About 20 minutes later a lovely lady arrived and introduced herself as Lera. My heart did flips every time I looked into her eyes! She was very beautiful. She sat beside me and I remember thinking how lucky I was that “F” wanted to make moves on the other lady. Lera started to talk to me and it was not long before we had forgotten there was other people with us. Every few minutes, “F” would ask her to translate something to Olga. I don’t want to be mean to the man, but it was nearly always something stupid and corny. It was clear that Olga didn’t want to know and had no interest in “F” at all. She eventually went over to the dj and sat with him. “F” decided to go home.

Lera and I sat together for the rest of the night and could not stop talking. Olga came over again and I asked her to take a picture of us. After the first picture, I told Lera it was not good. Maybe we should be “cheek to cheek”? So, Olga took another one. I showed it to Lera and said “no good. I need to be kissing your cheek”. So Olga took another one. You see where this is going right?  The kissing of the cheek was still not good enough for me. Lera knew where this was going too, so kissed me full on for about 5 minutes! Olga took the picture and we both agreed that we needed to practise some more. So... practise we did! 

At the end of the night, I walked them both to the taxi rank, offered to pay for their taxi but they refused. We arranged to meet the following night. I was leaving for England in 2 more days! 

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We met the following evening and I though she would be different. After all... She had not had a drink!  She was exactly the same and we had a wonderful evening! She took me all over Kerch in the next few days before I went home. We exchanged email addresses and promised to keep in touch.

When I left, I knew I was coming back for this beautiful lady! We sent sms messages until the moment I boarded the plane in Kiev. When I arrived home, there was 3 email messages from Lera! We kept in touch every day and I made plans to go back. I decided to go for a month next time. I was closing my computer shop, so I would have myself a long break and spend it with Lera in Ukraine.

During our time apart, she sent me a lot of pictures of her, her friends and her family. She looked forward to introducing me to them all. So did I!!!!! .................................................. .....

[TheWongs]

After selling my computer shop and getting myself together, it was time to plan my return to Kerch and to Lera. I decided, since I was “between jobs” that I would go there for a month and see how things went. I loved Kerch and wanted to spend some time there. I also liked this woman VERY much! 


My usual trips, took me from Belfast, N. Ireland to Birmingham, then to Kiev. When I arrived, I was met by the wonderful Pavel and taken to the 23 hour train to Kerch. This time, I decided to try a different route, missing the 23 hour train part. I decide to go from Dublin, S. Ireland to Riga, Latvia, then to Simferopol. Then it was only a case of a 4 hour bus trip to Kerch. Sounds good? Ok....

After about 48 hours of searching, pricing and looking at airlines, flights etc, It became apparent that there was one small problem. The flight to Simferopol, no matter how I did it, arrived at 9pm – 10 pm. This left me stuck there until the following morning, due to the lack of busses at that time of night. I sent an email to Erol (my friend who works in Simferopol), asking him about a hotel for the night. His reply was... “You do not need a hotel. You will stay with my family”! I love this guy!!!

  I emailed Lera and she said she would meet me at the airport. She had found a nice apartment for me "in the paper" (more about this later!) at a very good price (300 griven per month)! All was good in the world and the flights were booked.

There is a bus that leaves Belfast and goes to Dublin airport, a trip of about 100 miles. This bus costs £5! I jumped aboard. It was a luxury coach, with air con, tv and soft leather seats. Very nice start to the trip! I arrived in plenty of time for my flight and sat, chatting (as I do) to people as I waited. Before I knew it, I was on a brand new 737, on my way to Riga. After a good flight and nice breakfast, I made my way to the transfer lounge in Riga airport. I soon discovered that I couldn’t send sms messages from here.   I wanted to see if Lera was ok and on the bus to Simferopol. I went in search of internet access. I was very impressed to find free internet terminals in a section of the airport. I went to UMC website and sent a message to Lera. She replied to my phone and I got the message! Great!  All was good and she got the bus ok. She would be there in time for me landing. I sent a few more messages before I was called to my flight.

After a very smooth flight came a very rough landing!  If you ever land in Simferopol airport... Take your false teeth out!!!! If you don’t have false teeth, you will have after landing! I thought we had landed in a field, but it was the runway. I think it was covered with the same stuff they have on the roads (or not, as the case may be). Anyway... I went through the usual checks, filling in the immigration form etc, passed through security and into the million taxi drivers, shouting and waving. I pushed my way through and heard a voice... “Kriiisss”! I looked around...

Nothing.... “Kriiiiiiiiissss”!!!!! I stopped and looked again.... Holy S**T!!! There she was! A lot slimmer than when we first met. Hair done, makup done, wearing a very nice outfit. WoW! TheWongs has just arrived in heaven!.......

Lera looking similar.
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[TheWongs]

So... We grabbed hold of each other and hugged / kissed for a while. I must admit that it felt a little strange. It was almost like kissing a total stranger, but then... I wasn’t.

I noticed a man standing beside us, looking at us. I told Lera that I wanted to get out of the airport and have a smoke. We went out of the mad house, into the fresh air and I lit a cigarette. We were standing, talking and smoking when I saw this man again. Just standing, watching us. I turned to face him to see what he wanted. Lera said “it is ok Kris. He is our driver”. She then spoke to him in Russian and told him I was going to protect her. He laughed, shook my hand and said he would wait in the car. I finished my smoke and we joined him.

It was about 20 minutes to the house we were staying in. Lera and I chatted the whole trip. Sometimes she would stop talking, look at me and say “I can not believe you came to me”! Then she would hug me and kiss me. This felt SO, SO right!  We arrived at the house and were greeted like long lost family! It was time to pay for the taxi. I don’t remember how much it was, but it was quite a lot. I do remember that I had not changed any money!!!!! Oops! Lera dived into her handbag and paid the man. I was a little embarrassed, but she said not to worry. I told her I would give her the money tomorrow and she said “Chris! It does not matter! You are here with me”!

We were shown our room (a large bedroom with 2 single beds) and told to wash for dinner. I had a shower and got changed. The bathroom in this house was fantastic! Huge, with under floor heating! The father of this family was a heating engineer and he built the house himself. A great job! When I came out, there was a huge spread of food, wine, vodka, cognac and sweets! We talked, eat and drank for the next hour or two. It was time for bed. I told Lera she could get ready and into bed, then call me and I would sleep in the other bed (we had only seen each other a few nights and I wasn't pushing my luck). She did this and when I came in she was sitting up in the bed. I sat with her and we talked.... And we talked..... Guess what? We talked some more! At about 4.30 we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The following morning, I said we would go into town, look around, get some lunch, then get the bus to Kerch. She said “Oh. By the way (this became a very common for Lera to start telling me something) My father is driving from Kerch to collect us. He wants to meet you because he read all your emails and he likes you”. “He read all my emails??  “Yes. He helped me to translate them. His English is better than mine”. I told her that I was glad I did not write anything bad in my emails! 

A few hours later, a Lada (what else) arrived at the house and I was being introduced to her mother and father. Her mother looked about the same age as me! This is when I realized that her mother IS about the same age as me! I started to worry! We drove to Kerch and had a great time, laughing and joking the whole time. Her father is a very good and funny man. At one point, we stopped for a break and I lit a cigarette. Lera did too. Her mother and father both had a go at her! They did not like it at all! I put my cigarette out. Lera said “NO! Have your cigarette”! She lit another for me.

We arrived in Kerch and went to the apartment that Lera had “found in the paper”. It was fantastic! Great kitchen, bathroom and living area, with nice furniture. It also had a balcony that was to become our main living area for a long time.............

The pics;

The house in Simferopol we stayed in. The building to the left is a workshop. It's as big as another house!
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My apartment:
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[TheWongs]

Lera moved in with me from that first night in Kerch. She would go to work in the mornings and I would get the bus to meet her when she finished work. In the evening, we would walk on the beach, watch English movies on my laptop and talk, and talk, and talk, until 4, 5 and even 6 in the morning! One day, her father phoned me and wanted to know what I had done to his daughter! She had fallen asleep at work! I wasn't going to incriminate myself, so I said we were talking. I don't think he believed me. Later, when Lera came home from work, I said we must go to bed early. She replied "I want to talk to you more! Do not let my father tell you what to do for me"! So... We talked some more!........

We lived like this for a few weeks. She would go to work and I would amuse myself by travelling around Bagerovo village, looking at property, making friends and going to my favorite bar (where I met Lera). The staff there are great and I was able to talk to them more and more in Russian as time passed. They thought this was wonderful. Sometimes, Lera would come to this bar with me in the evenings if we were in the area. The staff got to know us as a couple.

One night, Lera told me her sister was coming down from Kiev with her husband and their baby. We were all going to her parents house to meet them and to have dinner. A few days later, we were all sitting together. Her sister is only about 2 years older and she is married to this man from Kiev. He is 56 years old! Now I was starting to understand that age is NOT important to sme people! They called this man Pete. This was only for my benifit, because they knew I would never pronounce his real name correctly. I was imediatley impressed by this man. He spoke no English, but we comunicated VERY well and we had some great laughs (mostly at the expense of the ladies)! At this dinner, Lera's father came straight out with it... "When are you going to take my daughter to England and marry her"? How do you answer a question like that?! I told him that it would happen when we were ready.

A few days later, we went to the grandparents house. It was the Grandfathers birthday. I love these people!!! NO English at all, but as the grandfather downed more vodka, he understood English better. The family told me that he does not normally like foreigners, but later that evening, he was telling me how he would die if anything happened to his beautiful wife, how he welcomed me into his family as a new son and how he thought it was wonderful that Lera and I met. 

Granny, auntie, Lera and TheWongs (you work out who is who).
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A few days later, Lera had to go to work, but she told me that the family were going to the Azov sea to swim and I was invited. This was a very welcome break to my routine. I was getting a little bored during the days by this time. The following morning, I was picked up in their car (a Opel 4 x 4. Very impressive machine) and we headed to the beach. I have never had so much fun! There was 6 -8 foot waves crashing in and the temperature was about 36c! I spent most of the day diving into these massive waves, with Lera's sister, brother, brother in law and father. We had a ball! Until..... Mama came to the water and called me in.  She told me off in Russian and said I was stupid! Then I saw why... I WAS RED!!!! When I say red, I mean RED!!! Oops! Forgot about the sun!

Later that night, Lera arrived home from work and she was late. Why was she late? She had to go to the shop for yoghurt. Why? Because mum had phoned her and told her how stupid I was and that I was burnt. She was not wrong! I could hardly move! Lera ordered me into the bath, where she started rubbing the fresh yoghurt into my skin. IT WAS SORE!!!!! Every time I made a sound, she said "you are stupid" and rubbed harder, so I shut up. 

The following day, I was a lot better! That stuff works! I was still sore for a week or so, but I hate to think what it would have been like without the good old fresh yoghurt!

It was getting close to the time for Lera's sister to go back to Kiev. They asked if we wanted to go with them and Lera was very exited about this idea, so I said "no problem. Let's go". Lera booked the time off work and we booked return train tickets. We're going to Kiev!  .................

[TheWongs]

A few days befoe we left for Kiev, Lera came in from work very tense and told me that my hostess (landlady) was coming to read the water and electric meters. I had to stay in bed and she would deal with it. I was not to come out of the room! The next morning, she reminded me again.

The hostess came and there was some chatter, the meters were read and she left. Lera relaxed and was ok again. Now... Once a month, I would go to the bank and draw out quite a large sum of money, to pay my rent and keep us for the whole month. I didn't carry this money (obviously), so put it in a leather wallet, under a wash basket in the bathroom. After the hostess had left, I went for a shower and decided to get some money to buy some stuff for our Kiev trip... It was gone! I asked Lera about it and she told me the hostess must have taken it by mistake. I didn't like this reply at all and told her to phone the woman NOW! She tried her best to get out of it and said maybe I had lost it. I wasn't having any of it! "Phone her NOW"! So, she did.

It turned out that the water meter is in the bathroom, behind a secret panel... Behind the wash basket. The woman had not seen it until she had opened the panel. She thought it belonged to the previous tennant. I thought all this was lies, until Lera told me something new... Lera had told the hostess that I was Russian! She had found this wallet, with English papers and credit cards in it and thought it could not belong to me. This is how the rent was so cheap and explained why she did not want me to meet her. Lera then told her I was from Latvia and I was learning Russian. The hostess would not give the wallet to Lera. She wanted to hand it to me in person!

The whole time we were travelling to collect it, Lera was teaching me to say different things in Russian and making me repeat them over and over. We arrived at the hostesses apartment and were invited in. This woman was not what I expected at all! She was a very lovely woman, with a warm smile and personality. She said sorry about a hundred times and made me check everything was there, inculding making me count the money. We thanked her and left. All was well again.... Sort of.........

Lera was obviously not happy about the events and blamed me for being so stupid that I would hide something there. There was no talking to her, so I said I would find somewhere else to hide it. She then said it was a good place to put it, but I should move it when the hostess came! What sort of logic is that? Anyway... We talked it through, put it behind us and went to Kiev.

The trip took about 14 hours in the Opel and it was great fun. I got to see a lot of different villages and towns on the way and took a few pictures of the sunflower fields we passed. They were massive! Lera loved them, so that's why I took some pictures. 

At one point, it started to rain. Lera needed to "use the bushes", so Pete stopped the Opel. Lera went accross the road, did what she had to do and tried to cross the road again. There was a lot of traffic, so she had to make a dash for it. Picture this........ I'm in the car, looking at Lera. She runs across the road. Just before she got to the car, she slipped! She was running quite fast so when she slipped, she smacked straight into the side of the car! All I saw was her head disappear and then there was a huge thud! I was in hysterics! It was like a cartoon! Pete and Olga saw the funny side too and were laughing very hard... Until Lera opened the door! Her clothes were soaked, her jeans were ripped and there was blood pouring from her hand! Olga gave her some clothes to change into and made Pete keep his eyes on the road. She wiped the blood away to reveal a minor scratch, so it looked ok. I had some pain killers from an earlier headache, so gave her a few. All was ok, but she kept complaining about a sore finger. Later, we thought it may be broken. 

We arrived in Kiev and Lera was not happy at all. She was tired and in a lot of pain, so I said she should have a long hot bath and go to bed. She did. The following day, she was much better, but not happy with me. It seemed that she only wanted to cause problems for any reason she could think of at the time. We talked for a while, but I could not figure what was going on.

Then she told me that she may be pregnant!

[TheWongs]

Ok... When someone drops a bombshell like that, it sort of dampens the mood of the holiday. But, I talked to her and told her that I would be happy to do whatever she wanted to do. If she wanted to get married, fine. If she wanted me to pi** off, fine. She relaxed a lot when we talked and we decided to wait and see. Sometimes, over the next few days, she would be VERY moody and I seemed to be nothing but a problem to her. Then, she came to me one day and said “it’s ok. I am not pregnant”. She was happy again. We were due to go to her sister’s holiday home for the following weekend. They have this place in the country, beside a lake, with a banya, full size tennis court (her sister used to be a pro tennis player)... The works. Everyone seemed to relax and everything was good in the world again.

We arrived at the holiday home and the first thing Pete did was fire up the banya. I wasn’t sure about this, but they all said I’d be fine. So, in I went. After about 30 seconds, I had to put my head outside! I couldn’t breath that hot air! Pete seemed to be fine, so I told myself not to be such a baby and do it. 2 minutes later, he threw water on the coals and it was worse than ever! How can people enjoy this? After about 4 minutes, I had to get out. I felt very ill! I walked out into the garden and, when the cold air (about 35c) hit me, my legs wanted to give way. Lera helped me to a seat and looked after me until I had recovered enough to walk. She took me to the lake and told me I should get in to cool down. It was wonderful! I spent the next hour in the lake, just swimming around. Poor Lera could not come in (she was not pregnant, remember?) and wasn’t happy about it at all, but she sat on the bank and enjoyed watching us swimming and messing about. After a great weekend, we went back to the city for our last day before returning to Kerch.

On our last day, I had arranged to meet my good friend Pavel and introduce him to Lera. We met at our usual spot (the pizza place at the old side of the train station), which is within walking distance of Pete and Olga’s apartment. We met, he chatted to Lera and we had pizza and beer. Lera went to the toilet and he told me she seemed like a very good and honest lady. He liked her and that was good enough for me.

Next morning, we were packed and ready to face the 23 hour train to Kerch. We had loads of food and beer, so we were ready to go. I was happy to walk to the train, but Pete insisted on driving us there and seeing us off. After the goodbyes, we went to our train and settled down. There was about 10 minutes to go, so Lera went onto the platform for a smoke. I have a great video of her pretending to say goodbye, pretending she was missing the train and doing all kinds of silly things. This was the Lera I knew and loved! She was back to her normal self again!

The trip n the train was just a trip on a train except for the last part. As soon as we got within 100 miles of Kerch, someone switched on the sun! Someone told us it was 40c in Kerch and it felt like 50c in the train! Lera suffered very badly in this heat. Every chance we got, we stood at the windows in the corridor, just to get some air! I sat beside her, fanning her with a book and did anything to cool her down. I love the heat, but this was a little too much, even for me! One of the attendants saw Lera, went away and came back with a wet towel for her. There is some nice people on those trains!

Lera’s parents met us at the train station and drove us home. The next two weeks were in the 40’s and it was way too hot! I went to the market and bought a huge fan. It sat beside my open front door, blowing through the apartment most of the days. I spent most of my days at the beaches and local swimming areas, while poor Lera had to work.  A lot of these evenings were spent arguing about various un-important things. I think the heat fried Lera’s brain. Any excuse to cause a problem was good enough for her. We went to a birthday party one night and everything was fine. It was a cool evening, in a nice restaurant beside the sea. I don’t remember why, or how, or what, but she started to argue about something. I decided that I was not going to fight, so I left and went home. At about 2am, Lera arrived and told me that a man who leaves a woman does not want her. I told her this was bulls**t, so she said that I should never have left her alone. It is dangerous to leave a woman alone. “But I left you with three of your friends”. “They left soon after you and I was alone”! So... It’s ok for someone’s friends to leave you alone in this dangerous place, but not a man... Remember that guys!  ???

Anyway... I’ll not get into bickering. The short version is that we decided to call it a day. I didn’t want this at all! All I wanted was my original Lera back! She went home and we decided to be friends. A few days later, we met in the centre for a pizza and a beer. That night, we were together again. The next we were apart again. Then there was an argument that finished it for good. It seemed that I could not please this woman and decided not to take any more nonsense. She played up once too often, so I walked her home. She protested the whole time (about a 40 minute walk) and told me she would walk alone. I was not going to fall for that one and told her that a man should never leave a lady alone at night! I made sure she got into her apartment and walked home alone and sad. 

I met one of her friends a few days later who told me she did not leave Lera alone after the party. She left her with the man Lera had gone over to drink with!  This friend thought the man would take her home and it was not my fault that he didn't. Mmmmmm...

[TheWongs]

So... Cutting an already long story, shorter. That was the end of Lera and I. Please do not mis-understand me! I am not blaming Lera at all for what happened. It takes two and I played my part. I'm quite stubborn and will not take s**t from anyone, so I can be a pain in the a$$ sometimes too.

I spent the next few weeks, thinking about things, thinking about how it might have been if I'd done things differently and blaming myself for a lot of the problems. I suppose I was feeling sorry for myself if I was to be honest.

Something I did forget to mention that played a part in the outcome...
I was at Lera's fathers birthday party and he said "Why do you not work here? You do do not do anything. You have been here for 2 months and you can't even speak Russian"! I replied that I didn't work because I didn't need to and I can't learn Russian in 2 months! I was quite offended by his remarks and later told Lera. She said "a real man would not be offended". This offended me even more!  My reaction was to ask if she did not think I was a real man!

Anyway... Water under the bridge and all that......

I found out about an American who was working in the Kerch library, setting up computer courses, so I went to see him. A very interesting man indeed! We became friends and i would go there to swap movies with him, chat and pass the time. I decided to fly home in two weeks time. I had a lot of new friends, so I wanted to tell them I was leaving, book flights and get myself sorted out. I suppose that I was putting it off a little, in the hope that Lera would contact me again. She never did. I met her and her mother in the town one day and they walked straight past me. Her mother smiled and nodded, but Lera ignored me completely. I knew it was truly over at this point.

About a week later, I was in the shopping centre and I forgot to put my yellow peppers in a bag and weigh them. When I got to the checkout, the woman was very ignorant and started jabbering something about wasting her time. I could not be bothered with any woman with a bad attitude, so I pretended not to understand Russian. She was waving and shouting at me like something demented and I found it mildly amusing, so I just shrugged and said "what"? In English.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "I speak English. I will help you. She wants you to put them in a bag and weigh them". Turned to see these dark brown eyes! I think they were attached to an attractive woman, but I only saw those eyes! I replied in Russian "I know and I understand, but I don't want to", then I smiled, winked, turned back to the checkout woman and said "what"? What happened next was impressive! This nice lady started to talk to the checkout lady, very calmly, but not taking any nonsense. After a few exchanges, the checkout lady put the peppers in a bag and weighed them on the scales beside her.

The lady told me the price (in Russian of course) and I paid her, thanked the nice lady and then thanked the checkout lady in Russian and wished her a good day. The nice lady went into a fit of laughter, along with a few other people who had seen what was going on and the checkout lady went bright red!

When we got outside we chatted for a short time. I asked if she would like a coffee for helping me. She said she had to go back to work, but would love a coffee later. We arranged to meet at 7.00pm

I asked her name and she replied "my name is Larisa".............................................

[TheWongs]

So.... I jumped on the next passing trolleybus and headed for home (I was good at finding my way around by this time). I jumped off at my stop and ran to my apartment. After a quick shower, shave and sh**, I was ready to go. OH! Hang on a minute! I’d better put some clothes on!  Was I keen or what? I finished making myself as pretty as I could be and sat on my balcony with a beer and a cigarette, waiting for 6.15 to arrive. It only took me 20 minutes to get into the centre of town on foot, but I wanted to make sure to be there on time.

I arrived in Lenin Square at 6.45 on the 28th August 2006. I knew the date because it was my son’s birthday! 

At about 6.55pm, Larisa arrived, wearing a long flowing skirt and a short “belly top” to match. I noticed for the first time that this woman was made like a real woman should be... Very shapely indeed!  We made small talk for a few minutes and I asked where she wanted to go for coffee. She replied “I do not want coffee. I would like beer. Let us go to somewhere for a beer”. No arguments from me, so off we went down Lenin Street. Did I mention this is my favourite street in Kerch? Pedestrian zone, so no cars, old iron lampposts down the centre and trees down both sides. This is not like a “typical” Lenin Street in Russia or Ukraine. They seem to always be big. This is not very wide at all. In fact, the trees meet each other above the lampposts. Very nice and full of character. 

So... I knew of a small cafe here from my first visit. It is very quiet, with nice staff, so we went inside. After some more small talk, a waitress came over to ask what we wanted. Larisa ordered her beer and asked what I would like. Without missing a beat, I turned to the waitress and ordered my favourite beer and some crisps in fluent Russian. Larisa sat back, looked at me and said “bravo! That was very, very good Russian”! So... The ice was broken and we continued to talk. Larisa told me that she had to meet one of her colleagues at 9pm to discuss work and she was sorry. I said it was no problem and I understood that she would have to arrange to meet someone, so they know she is safe with the foreign stranger. She laughed and said I should do her job. When I asked what it was, she replied “I teach psychology in a university. I can see my job is of no use to me when I am with you”. We chatted some more...

After a short pause to have a drink, she said something strange for a first “date”. “I want to tell you something... I was born in Ukraine and I will die in Ukraine. This is my country and I love it very much. I will NEVER leave my country for anyone”! I said “I like your honesty and thank you for telling me. Now, relax, shut up and have another beer”! She laughed, relaxed, had another beer and we got to know each other some more for the next hour. She said that she should start walking to meet her friend and I could come too. I said “So, I passed the test and you want your friend to meet me now”? She laughed again and slapped / stoked my arm.

We left the bar and walked along the seafront. The water was like a millpond. As we were walking, she slipped her arm through mine. It felt natural and good. Her phone rang and she chatted in Russian. I gathered from the conversation that she was trying to find the fountain near the park. I told her I knew where it was. She laughed, talked to her friend and told her we would be there soon. She said “I have lived in Kerch all my life, but I need an Irishman to show me to these places”. I took her to the fountain and she said “we are looking for a bar near this place”. “Over there” I said and pointed to it. On a side note... I knew this area so well because I lived only a few hundred yards away. 

We walked over and met her best friend Ena. Her friend could speak a little English and was a very nice lady. She is single, with a teenage son, but she only looks about 25! Very happy, smiling personality and great fun to be with. She asked where I lived and I told her. She said "You live in the same apartment block as me"! This seemed to make us best friends at once! Larisa suddenly said “OH! I must phone my son! It is his birthday”! I said “I don’t believe it! It’s MY son’s birthday too”! She phoned her son and I phoned mine. At one point, she gave the phone to me, so I could tell him happy birthday and I did the same. There was a connection here and her friend said “this must be a good omen”. Larisa agreed, so who was I to argue? 

It was decide between the two women, that it was safe for her to be with me for a while, so Ena made her excuses and left. The lady in the bar came to get the money for the drinks and off we went for another walk. We went back to Lenin street and walked hand in hand. We decided to go to the park with a beer and sit on a bench. While we were sitting, I could “sense” there was something on her mind. I looked her in the eyes and said “what it is you want to say”? “Nothing”. “What is it you want to do”? She smiled, went red and said “nothing”. I kissed her and she kissed me back. She said “You can read my mind”? I said “Of course I can. I knew what you wanted to do”!

We spent the next hour like a couple who had been together for years (no, we were not fighting!) We arranged to meet the following night for dinner. I walked her to a taxi, paid the man and went home a happy little Wongs.................................

[TheWongs]

The following evening, we had a meal and were talking about what to do next. I said it would be nice to go for a long walk. I wanted to spend as much time with this lady as I could before I booked my flight home. I only had two weeks before my 90 days were up and I would have to leave Ukraine. As we were talking about where to go, my phone rang. I looked at the incoming number... It was Lera! I hit the red button.  A few seconds later, it rang again and I did the same. This carried on and Larisa asked why I did not answer it. I told her it was my ex and I did not want to. She said “talk to her. I do not mind”. It rang again and I hit the green button. This was the conversation (as close as I remember  )... “Kris! There is a problem with your apartment and you must come here now”!! “What is the problem”? “It does not matter! COME NOW”! “I want to know what is wrong and I will not come until you tell me”. “The hostess came to your apartment and the lock will not work. When she made it work, the inside door was open”. (My apartment shared an outside door with the apartment next door. This door was always kept locked. The front door of the apartment has another lock that had been faulty, but I had fixed it. When I left, I always locked this door (because I was told to)). “I am in the centre and I cannot come now”. “You MUST come now”! “The hostess wants the keys and for you to leave tonight”! “I cannot leave tonight, I have nowhere to go! Talk to her and tell her I will leave tomorrow”. “I will talk to her, but come here NOW”! “OK. I will be there in 30 minutes”.

I hung up and told Larisa what was wrong. She said “I think this girl wants you back and she is making a problem, but if you must go to her, it is ok. I will understand”. I thought about what she said and wished she was right. I could have ignored Lera’s demand, but if there was a genuine problem, it would have made things worse and my stuff could end up on the street. I had to go. Larisa walked with me towards my place. The phone rang again... “Kriiissss! Where are you”? “I’m coming! I’ll be there in 10 minutes”. “The hostess will let you stay tonight, but tomorrow you must leave. I will come in the morning for the key”. “Excuse me for a moment”. I spoke to Larisa and explained that I needed help to find a hotel or apartment and asked if she would help me. “Of course” she said. “Give me the phone”. I reluctantly handed the phone to Larisa, who started chatting to Lera. The conversation got a little heated at one point, but at the end, Larisa said goodbye and hung up. She said... “I told you there was no problem and Lera is trying to make reasons to contact you. The hostess was at the apartment and she had a problem with the lock on the door. That is all. She was not happy about this and phoned Lera. I think Lera wants to make problems so she can help you and maybe she wants you to depend on her. She looked after you and she is not happy that you do not need her. I am a woman! I know these things! Do not worry Chris, I told her I was a translator and I was helping you today”. The whole thing made very good sense to me (except why Larisa told Lera she was my translator), but I was worried about having somewhere to stay, so I said we should go there. “It is ok. You do not need to go. Lera has gone home and there is no problem tonight. I told Lera to give me the phone number of the hostess. I will talk to her tomorrow for you”. Wow! What a woman!  We went for the long walk. It was nice, but I was worrying about this apartment. I decided to find somewhere else to stay, so there was no excuses for Lera to contact me. I was also worried that Larisa would decide I was too much trouble and not see me again. After all, this was only the second day she had known me and I was causing her grief! I talked to her as we walked and explained how I felt. She told me that she understood and it was no problem at all. I must not worry!

When I arrived home, it was plain that Lera had been there. She had taken a few things that she had left behind. Her friend had lent me a guitar and it was still there. I decided to go to her work with it in the morning, so it was one less thing to worry about. I also had a lot of video of Lera’s family and her sisters family in Kiev. I decided not to be bitter, but be nice. I sat up all night, editing the video and making a dvd for them. I made 2 copies. One for Lera’s parents and one for her sister. I also copied all the photo’s onto a cd, packaged it all up, ready to deliver it to Lera’s parents. I liked her parents and family, so I wanted to do this for them. It seemed such a shame to delete it all (which is what Lera had told me to do).

The following morning, I got a phone call from Lera. She asked me to meet her and her friend in Lenin square at 6.30pm and bring the guitar. Bummer! I wanted to deliver it without her asking!

I had a relaxing day, walking along the seafront, through the centre of Kerch and into my favourite bar. I was greeted by the usual people and had a beer. I then went to the market, which is right beside my bar and strolled around, looking at what was on offer. This market is very big! I counted about 9 people, scattered about in different parts, just selling DVD’s. I bought a few, then headed off to the library to check my emails. I felt quite good about things for some strange reason. When I think back, I know why. It was “closure” of the Lera saga......

[TheWongs]

I headed home at about 4pm, polished the guitar, did a few minor adjustments and it was ready. I jumped onto the trolley bus and went to Lenin square. When I arrived, Larisa phoned to see where I was, so I explained. She was on the bus to my apartment, so she said that she would stay on it and get off at the square. I must admit that I was a little nervous of Larisa meeting Lera, but then I thought “why”? While I waited, I saw Lera and her friend sitting on a bench, laughing and joking. They looked at me and waved for me to come over. I stayed where I was. They looked a little confused, but sat there. Larisa arrived a few minutes later and we walked over. I handed the guitar to Lera’s friend, who thanked me for the work I’d done on it. Larisa started chatting to Lera...

I lit a smoke and stood close by. I could tell from the “tone” of the conversation that there was nothing to worry about, but I did notice that Lera was talking very “formally” and Larisa was talking as if she was talking to her daughter or someone she had known for a long time (Lera was using "voi" (formal "you") and Larisa was using "ti" (informal "you") as an example). It was quite interesting to watch the body language too. Larisa was the “dominant” party, without any doubt! Lera’s friend left to get some beers for them. I think it was because she was a little embarrassed wanted to leave them to it.

The conversation came to a close and Larisa stood up and said something that I translated as something like: “give them to me”. Lera looked in her bag and handed some keys to Larisa. She then opened her phone and called out a number, which Larisa put into her phone. She said goodbye to an embarrassed looking Lera and we left. Larisa walked about 2 feet away from me until we were out of sight, then she grabbed my arm, put her head on my shoulder and said “do not worry. Everything is very good now”. She handed me the keys. “This is for you. It is keys to your apartment. Lera had them since you arrived to Ukraine”. She said that Lera was like a little girl and could not tell the truth. She had told Larisa the same story about the hostess, but Larisa knew it was lies, so kept asking questions until Lera finally admitted that she had made some of the story up. The hostess had been to the apartment and the main door lock was jammed. This had happened to me a few times, but I knew to “wiggle” the key and it would work. I assumed the hostess knew this, but obviously not. She had managed to open it eventually, collect her mail etc and lock up again. She had phoned Lera to ask if I could have a look at it, if I had time (I used to fix things in the apartment, so she knew I liked to “tinker”). The hostess was not angry at all and she had not asked me to leave! Lera wanted me to leave this apartment for her own reasons! It was to cover up all the lies she had told to people! The reason why she did this is still a mystery.....

We found a nice place to have dinner and she phoned the number Lera had given her. After a short conversation, she said we were going to meet the hostess. A short bus ride later, we arrived and the hostess welcomed us. There was a long chat between them and we left. Larisa explained: The hostess is a customer and a friend of Lera’s family. She did not find the apartment in the paper. Lera had told her I was Russian, but after the episode with the money, she told her I was from Latvia and was studying Russian. The hostess loved me being there and said I could stay as long as I wanted. It was good to have someone like me there. I was fixing anything that broke, I was keeping it clean, tidy and smelling good (I never smoke indoors) and I seemed like a very nice man. 

We got on the bus and I was a very happy Wongs again! On the bus, I asked if she wanted to come to my apartment for coffee. She seemed a little wary, but agreed after I made a joke about her being safe.  She loved my apartment! She said it was very beautiful and much better than hers. We sat on the balcony, drank coffee and planned the weekend. She said she would take me to the beach, but not the ones I knew. This beach is quiet, but not very close to Kerch. We could be alone together all day! I switched on my laptop and showed her pictures of Ireland, my family etc. She loved them and found it all very interesting. I showed her some home movies I’d made and before we knew it, it was 1am. Too late for a bus... Oh dear, what a shame!  She stayed the night.....................................

[TheWongs]

Over the next few days, Larisa and I spent every free moment together, going to the beach, shopping, cooking, drinking and enjoying time together. We went to the beach any day we could. One day, I brought my camera and took a few snapshots. We were sitting together and I held the camera at arms length, told her to smile and I clicked. The picture turned out so good, I used it as my avatar for a long time! 

I noticed some big differences between Lera and Larisa and came to my own conclusions about them. I’ll give a few examples and leave you to do the same. Lera used to speak only in English to me and wanted to learn more constantly. I wanted to learn Russian, but she seemed unwilling to teach. Her cooking skills were heating something up that we bought in a supermarket and if I wanted to do something, or to go somewhere she didn’t want to go, I was on my own. I’m not holding this against Lera at all. It was just a few observations of the different characters. The first thing Larisa taught me was the Russian names of the bus stops I used often. She could not believe that Lera had not done this! I used to get the trolley bus because it stops at every stop and I didn’t have to worry about how to ask the driver to stop. Within a week of knowing Larisa, we could get on a bus and I would ask the driver to stop at the various places. If I forgot the name of the stop, or it was a stop I didn’t know, she would tell me to say something else she taught me... “next stop please” (literally translated to “on the next please”). Now I could get the bus anywhere with no worries!  She took me to the central market to buy my food and told me to stay away from the shopping centre “it is too much money”. She started cooking in my apartment every night when she finished work because she said I did not eat well when she was not there. See what I mean about differences?

Over the next days, Larisa spent more and more nights with me, but she would have to go home very early in the morning, to sort her house out, get things for work etc. Her routine was; Up at 5am, showered, dressed, make breakfast, make VERY strong coffee, clean and tidy the kitchen. Then she would relax and drink her coffee on the balcony with a cigarette. When she left, she would go home, check her apartment, get what she needed and be at work before 8am. She finished work around 6pm, so she would call to check her son (Sasha was 18 and lived close to Larisa with his girlfriend) and see if he needed anything. He wasn't working and things were very tough for them. Larisa promised to introduce us sometime, but not yet. She would arrive at my apartment at about 7pm - 8pm and start cooking. Sometimes, I would just meet her at the bus stop and take her for a meal, so she didn’t have to worry about doing something for me on top of everything else. A very hard working lady indeed!

One day, I was with her when she had to call to her apartment. She told me to wait out on the road while she went in. I thought this was a little strange. When I asked her, she became a little nervous and said it was quicker for her to run up the stairs and get what she needed. My mind started to work overtime! Did she have someone up there? Was she married? A few days later, she mentioned that her water tap was leaking and I offered to fix it. “No, it will be ok. Sasha can look at it for me”. Another day, we were close to her apartment and she said I should look around the nearby market while she went there. I asked why she did not want me to go with her. She made another excuse, so I told her that was not the reason. She said “my apartment is not nice like yours”. I told her I didn’t care what it was like and I wanted to see it. Maybe there was something I could do to make it better? “Maybe someday, but not now”.....

One day, we were in my apartment and she asked if I had tried Borsch. I told her I had it once in Kiev (with Pavel and his lovely wife) and I liked it. She said “good. Tomorrow I will make you Borsch”. We set off to the market where she bought the ingredients. When we returned to the apartment, her phone rang. It was her friend, you know.. The one who lived in the same apartment block? I knew you’d remember.  After the call she said “Ena saw us walk past. She is coming to visit us. Is it ok”? Of course it was ok! Larisa made some snacks while I got out the beer, vodka and orange juice. Ena arrived with her son Vladic. He was about 10 years old. She introduced me to him and he shook my hand. As he shook it, he said “I... Am... Very... Happy... To meet.... You” in English. He had a HUGE smile that lit up the room and I loved this kid straight away!

We all sat at the table, eating and drinking. The two women were chatting away (as they do). I could see he was a little bored with the women’s chatter and to be honest, so was I. I asked if he liked computers. He understood, but asked his mum to make sure he was right. He was right and answered “yes” with that big smile. I told him to come with me and we went to the living room. He saw my laptop and his face lit up even more! We played a few games and I showed him my movies folder. It was full of English movies, but there was a few Russian ones. There was one there that he liked very much. I told him to watch it if he wanted. When I knew he was ok, I returned to the kitchen. Ena asked if he was giving me any trouble, so I told her he was fine and very happy. Larisa said she was sorry for talking so fast and so much, but they were talking about work and they would be finished in a minute. Every few minutes, she would translate what they were talking about, so I would feel part of it. I thought this was a nice gesture and I discovered over time that she did this any time she was speaking Russian if I was there. They finished talking about work and Ena started asking what we had been doing etc, etc

Larisa told her she was making Borsch tomorrow and Inna’s face lit up. She said “Larisa makes the best Borsch in Ukraine! She is a wonderful cook. You are a very lucky man. When she makes it, all her friends come to her”! Larisa was a little embarrassed, but enjoyed the compliment. Ena said that when Larisa went to see her family, they would make her cook Borsch on the first night of her arrival. Larisa agreed this was true. I was starting to look forward to tomorrow night! 

The following night, Larisa arrived, straight from work. She told me to watch TV or something and let her cook. No way! I wanted to see how the master did it!  I helped peel potatoes, onions etc and watched everything. Later that evening, we had a VERY tasty Borsch! I told Larisa I would make it for her at the weekend. She worked some Saturdays and this was one of them. She laughed and said she would like to see me try. I love a challenge! I told her to invite Ena and her son, so they could have some, but not to tell them I was making it. She agreed.

Saturday came and I before Larisa went to work, I reminded her about the dinner and to invite Ena. She agreed and left for work. I was up for this challenge and off I went to the market. I jumped on the bus, told the driver when I wanted him to stop, bought all the ingredients, with no problems (I even “haggled” with the man at the meat counter). I stopped off at a flower stall, bought a bunch of dark red roses and jumped back on the bus. I told the driver the name of my bus stop and I was home again. This is so easy when you understand it! 

I started cooking and did everything exactly as Larisa had done it. I remembered when she made it, I asked how she knew how much of this to add and how much of that to add, but she just said “I just know how much there should be”. She seemed to just pour the things in! I could see there was going to be some difficulty with “measuring”. I gave it my best shot and when it was ready, I had a quick taste..... It was fantastic! I could not believe that I had actually cooked something myself! I normally just heat things and have never been known to make something from scratch! I couldn’t wait for Larisa to get home!.................

[TheWongs]

Larisa arrived at her usual time with a large bag. She said that she had bought some food at the market. It was just in case my Borsch turned out bad.  I wasn’t offended at all because even I didn’t know what it would be like. OK... I was a little bit offended, but I saw where she was coming from.  She came into the kitchen and said it smelled nice. I told her to try it and see what she thought. She said it was very good and it was as good as she can make! She was blown away, surprised and also very proud.

The roses I’d bought earlier were on my balcony, sitting on the chair where Larisa would normally sit. I made her coffee, knowing she would take it to the balcony. Of course, she did. She came running back into the kitchen, threw her arms around me and almost kissed me to death! She said today was one of the best days she could ever remember. It was good to see her so happy!. It was a rare thing for Larisa to be given a gift, or a nice surprise and it showed! I was glad that it was me who made her feel this happy!

Our guests arrived and tucked into the Borsch. Inna said “Larisa... As usual, this is very good Borsch”. Larisa told them I made it. Inna said; “You must marry this man at once! He can fix things, he is very good to you AND he can cook”. We had a nice meal and chat together and I had another great night with this wonderful woman.

[TheWongs]

I was with Larisa for the two weeks before my 90 days in Ukraine ran out, but I wanted to stay longer. Obviously, this meant leaving Ukraine and coming back. I'll cut a VERY long and shady story short and say that I did this.  So... I had another stamp in my passport and another 90 days in Kerch! 

I was near Larisa's apartment quite a few times, but she would never let me go in. One day, I was there and she wanted to leave me outside again. Not this time! I said that I wanted to come in with her. First, she said Sasha may be there. I said I didn't care. Then she said it was untidy, because she had been staying with me and she had not done any work in her own place. I said I didn't care. She paused for a while and I could see her mind ticking over..... She said "Chris... I do not want you to see my apartment because it is not nice. It is very bad. Please understand me". I said "Larisa. I do not care what your apartment is like. I want you to trust me and know that I will try to help you if I can". She thought about it for a few seconds and took me in.

She was quite nervous as we climbed the three flights of stairs. She opened the door and her husband attacked me! ONLY KIDDING!!!

We went inside and she said "you see what I mean? It is very bad". It was a 1 room apartment and very, very basic. Old furniture, different bits of carpet to cover the main area of the floor. Everything seemed to be "homemade". She took me into the kitchen to make coffee. This is where I got a shock. This woman is a great cook, but I was blown away when I saw what she cooks on... A 2 ring camping stove! The kitchen is very small and there is only room for a few cupboards on one wall. These cupboards were home made from bits of scrap wood. Her sink was a steel bowl set into the "worktop" and a single water tap above it (no hot water). That's it. This is the reason she was keeping me away from her apartment. I gave her a big hug and kiss and told her it was no problem. I told her I would help her to fix it if she wanted. She refused, due to being too proud.

Larisa was living with me full time by now. One day, she came home from work and told me her other son was coming home from Russia. She was very excited and happy! His name is Jenya and he is the one who shares his birthday with my son (28th August, also our "first date" anniversary). I think he’s about 22. She told me he goes to Russia with his friends and works in a shipyard for about 6 - 8 months of the year, then comes back to Kerch for a while, has a break, gets his friends gathered together and goes back to Russia.

On the day of his return I did not see Larisa. I knew I wouldn't and didn't mind at all, but I missed her very much! This was the first day we had not been together since we met! She phoned to see how I was and to tell me she missed me. She sounded very happy and it good to hear this in her voice. She promised to meet me the following day, so we could do some shopping together.

The next day, she phoned to tell me to meet her at the coffee shop in the central bus station. When I arrived, she said that Jenya wanted to meet me and asked if it was ok. About 30 minutes later, he arrived and shook my hand. This guy is BIG! I think he would be about 6' 3" or so and a very good looking guy (no that I know too much about good looking guys). When he walked, you could watch the young ladies heads turning!

We went for lunch and after about 30 minutes, I liked Jenya very much indeed. A very kind, thoughtful and caring guy, with a good sense of humor. Larisa said she had to collect some papers at the university, so Jenya would help me with the shopping and we would meet at my apartment later. The thing about Jenya is he speaks about 10 English words. Shopping was going to be fun! Off we went into the market and it wasn't long before I saw how great this guy is. We fell into a "routine" of sign language and basic words almost instantly. There was no problem with communication! There was a few times when we were trying to say things, but just couldn’t get it. His reaction was to laugh throw his hands in the air and say “pricolna” (funny). We met Larisa later and she made us dinner. She had quite a long chat with Jenya and a lot of it was in Ukrainian. I don’t understand Ukrainian at all, so this is why Larisa chose to speak it. At the time, I was a little annoyed that they were talking so I couldn’t understand, but after Jenya went home, she told me she was sorry. She explained that this conversation was all about us and Jenya had some serious questions for his mother. He told her that I was not at all what he expected. He liked me very much and wanted to know where Larisa was going with this relationship. She told him it was too early to tell, but she liked me very much and wanted it to continue. He told her that she should continue and he wished her good luck! Larisa told me this is the first time he has ever shown any interest in anyone she was with! She said he was happy to meet me again anytime, for a beer, or if I needed anything.

About a week later, Larisa told me Jenya was going to buy her a washing machine and she wanted me to help her to choose one. We went shopping for a machine. She wanted a small top loading machine, but every one we looked at seemed too big. Larisa said it would fit, or she would find somewhere to put it, but I had seen her apartment and it just wouldn’t work. I decided to take control and solve the problem. I told her we were going to her apartment to see where a machine will fit and take measurements. She looked at me like I had 2 heads when I said “measure”!  We arrived and I looked measured everything in the kitchen. The following day, I spent most of it on my laptop drawing plans, then went to meet the Scottish “R” for a drink. We went for a walk in the market. Walking in the market with “R” is a lot different than with Larisa. He looks at tools, gadgets and furniture and Larisa looks a fruit and veg!  I saw a place selling kitchen units, so went inside. Right at the front door was a double base unit and top cupboard to match. It was on offer at 300 griven (£30 ish). I bought it there and then and decided to rip her whole kitchen out! I phoned Larisa and told her that I needed Jenya to help me. 45 minutes later he was with me and arranging a taxi to take the kitchen units to Larisa’s place. It was quite funny really. This Lada arrived with a roof rack. The driver and Jenya lifted the biggest unit onto the roof and tied it down. The smaller unit went in the boot, sticking up in the air. Off we went….

Larisa arrived at her apartment to find us ripping her kitchen to bits. She was horrified! I told her to go into the other room and look. She went in and saw the units, came back and started shouting at us. We should not spend money, blah, blah, blah! Jenya and I looked at each other. I said “ochin pricolna (very funny)”. He went into a fit of laughter and nodded, saying "da! Da"! Larisa saw the funny side too, but she was angry that I had spent money on her. I’m sure she’ll get over it. 

We were working the following day, when Sasha arrived. I had never met him, even though he had been living in Kerch the whole time I was with Larisa. He knew who I was and all about me, so I assume I’d been the topic of discussion a few times. He was also very tall and every bit as nice as Jenya. He speaks a little English, but understands more than he speaks. He lives with his girlfriend near to Larisa’s apartment. She arrived while we were talking. She is very beautiful, bright and not bad at English either. I took a liking to them straight away and I think they are a great couple. You know how sometimes people just look “right” together? Well… That’s them!

I decided we needed a worktop and sink. Larisa would not let me spend the money on a sink and she almost had kittens when I mentioned the worktop! I told the job should be done well and it was going to be done well! We went to buy a worktop. Jenya and Sasha came too. We chose one 2 meter length (the kitchen is 1.99 meters long) and the two boys took it home on the bus! Also quite a funny sight!  Larisa and I had coffee in a café, then went to her place. I had the unit ready to fit in place and we were almost ready to fit it all together. Larisa would not stop interfering, so I told her to go shopping or something. She said “I do not need to go. I have everything”. I told her we had no beer, so goodbye. She laughed and left us to it.

When she returned, I had the unit in place and the worktop fitted. It was taking shape! Now she could see what I meant about the washing machine. With the top unit, she lost no storage space. In fact, she had a little more! Next day, we bought her washing machine. We arranged for a man to fit this bit. I could do it normally, but there is nothing standard about the water pipes in Ukraine! I left strict instructions that everything was done the way I said. Jenya agreed to be there and make sure it was done. The idea was to end up with a proper under counter machine. Larisa was all for sticking it in the hole, plugging it into an extension lead draped across the sink and the waste pipe could have been stuffed into the sink or out the window for all I know! I went to the market and bought plugs, wire etc and fitted a proper plug under the worktop. For good measure, I put one above it too. Now she had somewhere to plug in the kettle! 

The sink was converted to fit into the new worktop and I bought a load of cheap tiles. A few days later, she had a fully working kitchen! The washing machine was in and working. All we needed was some wallpaper and paint to finish the job. This was done a few days later. Larisa had an old dish drainer, so I fixed it up and screwed it to the wall. In the market one day, I saw some plastic drawers and thought they would fit the remaining space beside the washing machine, so I bought them and they did. The finished kitchen looks like nothing when it’s compared to our Western ones, but it meant the world to Larisa! It was pure luxury, compared to what she started with! I’d never seen any woman looking so content and happy with life!.................

I wish I had a picture of the kitchen before I started, but here it is finished:
www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/kitchen.jpg

[TheWongs]

Sasha said he wanted to show me an old fortress that is close to their home and asked Larisa if it was ok to take me there the following day. She was not happy about it for some reason, but said that I was a man and could decide for myself. 

I decided "yes"! Later that evening, back at my place, she told me to be careful in this place, not to leave Sasha and his girlfriend and not to speak to anyone! She explained that the closest apartments to this place are inhabited by "not very nice people" and they spend their time in the fort, taking drugs etc. She told me that she was worried about me. Awwww....  I explained that I'm from Ireland and was brought up in the seriously bad times in that country. I can look after myself and I know to steer clear of strangers. She relaxed a little, but told me to stay in touch through sms messages and let her know when I was at her home. I promised to do this, so we went to sleep.

The following morning, we were up bright and early. We had, what had become our favorite breakfast. Boolochki and fresh milk. I should have written this earlier, but it was one of the things Larisa taught me when she moved in. There is a Lada estate that drives around in the mornings, ringing a bell. I always wondered what it was doing, or what they were selling. There was always a large crowd gathered around when it arrived. It's fresh bread and milk.  Not only that, but it is VERY tasty bread and milk! She had taught me how to ask for it and we took turns to go down every morning. I met a lot of my neighbours this way. At first, they were a little unsure about me, but as the months went by, they understood I was not just a tourist and they would say good morning and ask how I was. There was one guy who was there every morning and was the funniest Russian I've ever seen.  He would play tricks on people and chase the kids around. Everyone knew and liked him. He was one of the first to try talking to me at any length. Others heard the conversation, realised I could speak a little Russian and became more friendly. Nice people in this area!

Anyway... Back to the story. Sorry about that. 

We had breakfast and I got the bus with her to her end of town. Sasha was waiting for me at the bus stop with his girlfriend. Larisa told them to be careful once again and left for work. She is a terrible worrier!  Off we went....

When we arrived, I noticed my phone had switched onto a Russian network. Sahsa told me not to use it like this, because it costs too much. This place is right beside the sea, with Russia only a short distance away. I tried to manually select a network, but no joy. Sasha said not to worry, because his phone was ok. I turned my phone off and never worried....

We spent all day in this place. It is a maze of underground bunkers, air raid shelters and lookout posts. The most interesting place I'd been to in Ukraine. Sahsa and his girlfriend knew everything about it and what all the buildings were used for. I suppose they studied it at school, or maybe it was because they had spent their whole childhood here. Apparently, it was built during the war, to defend Kerch against the Germans. there was one thing that impressed me more than anything... If you go to the underground bunkers, where the troops would have retreated to, they are huge tunnels. That's not the good bit... The good bit is how the tunnels were fed with air! At the end of each tunnel is a shaft, going up to the surface. This shaft had a double wall, with the inside part filled with water. From above, it looked like a well, or water storage, but the air traveled down the sides and into the bunkers. I thought this was a very cool idea! We passed through the sleeping quarters and a few of them were riddled with bullet holes. I hate to imagine what happened there!

Late afternoon came very quickly and I said we should tell Larisa we are ok. Sasha agreed and we went to the top of the hills. He was not able to send a message to her! He said we had nearly seen it all now, so we might as well see the rest. I agreed, although a little reluctantly. I was a little worried about not being able to let Larisa know we were ok.

We continued to look around and it began to go dark. It seemed to be very fast, but I looked at the time. It was nearly 8pm! We had been here for 10 hours! I said we should go and they agreed. This is not the sort of place you want to be in after dark! We got back to the road. I tried to get my phone to send a message from when we left the fort, but with no luck. Sahsa was able to get a signal on his phone. When we were at the bus stop. I asked him to send Larisa a message and tell her I would meet her at home (my apartment) in 30 minutes. I was on the bus, only a few minutes from home, when my phone started working again and a flood of messages came in. I ignored the early ones and read the last. It was from Sasha to let me know Larisa was waiting for me. I thought that was good, but maybe I was wrong.....

I walked towards my apartment and found Larisa, sitting on a bench with her friend (the one who lives in the same block). When she saw me, she jumped up, ran to me and hugged me very tightly. She said she had been so worried about me all day! She had sent 12 sms messages and had no reply! The only one she got was from Sahsa just before I arrived to tell her I would be there soon. Then she started shouting at me for making her worry! 

All was well in the end, after I explained the phone problem, but I could see how worried she'd been. I knew from this moment, how much this lady cares about me! Maybe I should have seen it earlier? Maybe I wasn't looking? Who knows?.....

Her's a picture of Sasha and his wonderful girlfriend Carina. It was taken on my phone because I forgot my camera! Sorry about the quality.
www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/Fort%20with%20Sasha.jpg

[TheWongs]

I just found a few pictures of the fortress. I didn't take these ones.

www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/fortress.jpg
www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/fortress1.jpg
www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/fortress2.jpg
www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/fortress3.jpg

[TheWongs]

The temperatures at this time were in the mid 30's and Larisa had to work every day, so I spent a lot of time walking, going to new places and sometimes sitting in one of the parks with a cold drink. When I sat in the park, I'd make phone calls to my friends and family to let them know I was ok.

One of these days, there I was, sitting with my cold orange drink and I decided to call my son. Now... I have a special way to speak to him and it's not very "fatherly".  We are like best friends, so I speak to him like one... I dialed his number and he answered. My first words were "Hello! How the f**k are you"! I didn't see the girls who were walking on a path behind me! Well... When they heard this, there was a lot of chatter and laughing, then one of them repeated what I said. They were in hysterics with laughter!

As I was talking to my son, they came over and asked if they could sit with me. I told my son I'd call him back and looked at them. There was six young ladies, in their 20's and I swear there couldn't have been a square meter of fabric in all their clothes combined!!!! Of course they could sit with me!  I asked one if she spoke English (in Russian). She replied "of course I speak English. We all do". We chatted for the next few hours. Their English was very good, in fact, I'd say it was the best English I'd heard in Kerch! They could easily understand me and they asked all sorts of questions about Ireland.

They told me the only English practise they get, is when they talk to each other. It was a great afternoon. One young lady in particular, was sitting beside me and I noticed she would get a little "moody" if one of the others asked me anything personal or flirted in any way. I decided it was time to get out before she wanted to take this relationship any further.  I told them I had to meet my girlfriend and I must go. For some reason, she moved closer to me and asked me to stay a little longer. If she got any closer, she'd be on my knee! I made my excuses and left. Kerch is a small place and Larisa's a teacher. She knows everyone! All I needed was for someone who knows her to see me sitting with this crowd of semi-naked girls and my a$$ would have been grass! It was nice experience though and it boosted my ego by about 300%!

You gotta love hot weather!

[TheWongs]

Larisa told me one evening that Jenya wanted to take me to drag racing. Drag racing in Kerch? She said it was at the big airfield in Bagerovo. Ah! I know this place well and have been there many times. BIG runway!

We did some shopping for snacks, jumped on the bus and met Jenya at the central station. When we all met, we decided to get some lunch before going there. It's a bit out in the sticks, so you can't get anything there. After lunch, we grabbed a taxi, negotiated the price and were on our way. The taxi driver didn't know about the drag race, so he said he would stay and take us home when we were ready. Cool guy too. He tried to talk a little in English, but he knew very little. It was good of him to make the effort and he apreciated it when I spoke Russian to him.

When we got there and found a good place to stand, I looked out onto the track. My eyes nearly popped out! They had girls starting the races. They would walk out onto the track, put one arm up, then the other, pause, then drop to the ground. That was the signal for the cars to go for it! When I say cars, I mean... Lada's! Yes! They were drag racing Lada's! There were a few other makes of cars.

Oh... About my eyes nearly popping out... I set my phone to record video, so if you want to see why, you need to see the video's. Not good quality video, but you'll get the general idea.

www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/drag3.wmv

I was a little worried about the safety of some people, standing in the centre of the road. But hey.. It's Ukraine!

One of the young ladies saw Jenya. I told you about Jenya and the reaction of most girls... This shows it. He borrowed my phone and walked into the middle of the "race track" to get this video. As you can see he get's told to get off the track, but not before he gets the video.

www.b11tme.co.uk/kerch/drag5.wmv

[TheWongs]

By this time it was October and I'd been with Larisa for 2 months. I was very happy with her and didn't want to go home just yet. I decided that I should fly home to see my family and friends for Christmas. So.. I'll stay for another two months.

It was that time of the month again... No... Not THAT one... The time to go to the bank and get my monthly money to pay rent, bills and keep me in spending money for another 4 weeks. This had become a routine by now. The end of each month, I'd head into town, get about 2,000 griven from the bank and sort out my bills etc. This is how much it cost for me to live in Kerch. I had enough money coming into the bank every month to cover this and my usual bills at home. This is what made it possible for me to stay in Ukraine for such a long time.

That Monday, I went into town, put my card in the machine, pressed the buttons and.... Nothing! I tried again... Nothing! I asked it to show the available credit... 0.00!!!! What???????? I called my bank within 30 seconds!

After being on hold for what seemed forever, I spent the next 5 minutes going through security questions. Eventually, they told me that my monthly money didn't go in until too late last month, making me overdrawn after I had taken my cash. They wrote to me at home a few times. The last letter said I wasn't running my account to their satisfaction and I had to call them immediately! They had no response from me. The charges they put on my account had the effect of bouncing my usual standing orders etc, creating more charges and also getting me into trouble with other people! I don't need to tell you all what banks are like, but you get the picture. It left me right in the s**t! They told me to deposit the money within 7 days or they would close my account!

It didn't matter when I explained that I would not be in the country and therefore couldn't meet the deadline. They said, pay or have the account closed. After a VERY frustrating call, I told them where to put my account and hung up the phone to discover this call had eaten almost all my phone credit! I had about 25 griven in cash and was stuck in Ukraine. There should have been enough in that account to buy my flight home when I wanted it! Now, I had nothing, no money for a flight home and no safety net! 

I went home to think things through and decide what to do. I knew that I could give my mum a call, but it was the last thing in the world I wanted! Apart from her being a serious worrier, she is a pensioner and hasn't a great amount of extra cash. I went to the town again and bought a phone card. this left me with 5 griven.

When I returned home, I phoned the company who sends my money to the bank. They told me they were sorry the payment was late, but it was due to a computer problem in the office blah, blah. blah. I told them to cancel sending it to my bank account and send a cheque every month to my mother, in her name. Then I phoned my mum to let her know what was going on. As I said, she's a worrier and this time was no exception! I explained the plan and when she understood, she relaxed... A little! She could get the money, cash it, then send it to me via Moneygram. Problem solved... Well.... Sort of... The next cheque was due in three weeks and the bank charges had eaten a full months money!

Larisa arrived home from work. I was sitting on the balcony, having a beer and a smoke. When she came to the balcony, her first words were "what is wrong"? I shrugged, smiled at her and said "what makes you think there is something wrong"? "I know there is something. I can feel it"! She came and kneeled in front of me, put her arms around me and kissed me. "Tell me what it is". So... I explained the situation. She said "this is very bad situation. How will you pay the hostess for the apartment"? The rent was due in three days. I told her I didn't know, but I will think of something.

We carried on as usual, had dinner and went for a walk beside the sea, but we were both very quiet. I started to think about how this could affect my relationship with Larisa. She knew I wasn't a rich man, but this was pretty bad! Maybe she would just walk away, thinking I was too unstable and couldn't support her if we ever got married. I wouldn't have blamed her at this point! We talked everything through, but there was no easy answers to my problem. There was no way to get my rent before that Thursday!

At about 10pm, she said that she had to stay at her home tonight because she had a lot of work and studying to do. I thought it was strange that it was the first night she had stayed at home since we met and then I thought about how to react. I said "ok honey. No problem". I sat on the balcony as she got ready, then I walked her to the bus stop. She kissed me, told me she would miss me and left.

When I returned to the apartment, I noticed she had taken almost everything she owned with her. There was only a few items left behind. She had some clothes that she'd brought, so she could change when she got home from work... Gone! I sat on my balcony, smoked like a train and cried. I had made a huge mistake by depending on the bank system and this company to keep my money coming. I had not planned to stay in Ukraine this long and things were falling apart at home! There was nobody to blame but myself and now I had lost Larisa!..........

[TheWongs]

I sat up all night, thinking about my stupidity! The following morning, I sent a message to Larisa, asking if she was ok... No reply! I sent a few more during the day, but still no reply!

I walked into the city centre and spent my 5 griven on more cigarettes and a bottle of orange. It was only after I bought these things, I realised I had nothing in the house to eat! As you can imagine, I was not too happy about the whole situation. No money, no food, no way to pay rent, no money to fly home and only a packet of smokes to my name... Great!

I walked around all day and sat beside the sea for a long time. The sea normally has a great effect on me, calming me and helping me to think. It didn't do much good this day. I couldn't think of a way to get the rent money before Thursday. I needed someone to translate to the hostess and explain that the money will be a little late. I sent a message to one of my friends in Kerch. He is a good guy and helped me with things before. I asked if he could help me with some translation. He replied "Sorry Chris. I am in Simferopol until Friday. Then I will help you". I walked home miserable...

I was in my usual spot on the balcony and I looked at the time. It was 6.30pm. Larisa would normally have been home at about 6.00. I went into the apartment and watched some TV. At about 7.45 my doorbell rang. I thought "typical! All I need is more Russian salesmen"! (This seems to be the latest craze in Kerch. Selling door to door!) I didn't answer. It rang again, but this time for longer. I ignored it again. Then, it rang for a long time and was starting to p!ss me off, so I opened the door, ready to tell them to f**k off…. It was Larisa!

She staggered into the apartment, looking like she had run a marathon, with about 5 big carrier bags. She put them on the floor, threw her arms around me, kissed me and said “honey. I am sorry to be late. I had very much work to do! What did you do today? You need to shave! Sorry I did not reply to your sms but I have no money on my phone. Could you make me coffee honey"? She took off her coat, hung it up, kissed me again and went to sit in the living room. I stood there the whole time with my jaw hitting the floor! What was that??... What just happened?? What shall I do now??... I decided what to do... I made her coffee!

[TheWongs]

Larisa drank her coffee as if nothing had happened. Well... Nothing HAD happened! Apart from my imagination running riot and my lack of trust, everything was fine, but it seemed so strange for some reason. It was like sitting beside a stranger.

As she drank her coffee, we made small talk. Then she said "honey. I know you are worried about your problem, but I love you and I want to help". She got up and went to the bags. She threw 2 of them into the living room. It was her clothes. She had taken them home to wash them in her machine!  She picked up 2 more and said "Help me with this please". We carried them into the kitchen and she started to empty the contents into the fridge and cupboards. There was enough food to last a month! She has been to the market with her friends.

When we finished, she said "I phoned your hostess today, but she can only wait until monday for the money because she needs it. I know this is not good, so I talked to "E" and "I" (her friends). We all collected money and paid your hostess. We know you need money, so we have this too". She handed me 200 griven! Her friends had also become my friends, but I never dreamed they would do something like this! I had tears in my eyes! These people don't have much money and they live "day to day". How could they do this for me? Later, she told me that her friends had gone to other people they knew to borrow the money for me! If any her friends needs help, they all work together!

I threw my arms around this wonderful lady and kissed her til her lips were sore! I felt like I had TRUE friends in Ukraine! Later, Larisa explained why they had done this... They knew about what I had done in Larisa's kitchen and they thought I was a good man, but they also did it because they had never known Larisa to be so happy! They would do anything to help us both because they wanted us to be happy and stay together. I love these people!

Later that night, we were lying in bed when suddenly she sat up and said "Tomorrow I finish work early. I want you to meet my aunt and uncle in Bagerovo". I knew this was a very big deal for Larisa. She had talked about this aunt and uncle before. They are the only other family she has in Ukraine. They are like her mother and father. She has never taken any man to meet them!....

[TheWongs]

Larisa headed off to work the next morning and I went into the city centre for a look around. It was getting cold now, so I wanted to buy a hat in the market. While I was shopping for a hat, "R" sent me a message and we arranged to meet at my local for a pint. When "R" arrived, I told him I was going to Bagerovo with Larisa. He said he was going there this morning and asked if I wanted to go with him. I decided to go and I sent a message to Larisa to let her know I'd meet her there. This was a good arrangement for her anyway. It meant she could get the bus straight from work. We arranged to meet at 2.30pm.

At 2.30, I left "R" and walked to the "bus station" (brick shelter) to meet Larisa. She arrived on the next bus and we started to walk towards her uncle’s house. The first thing she said was "why did you not buy a hat"? I explained that I had no time because I came to Bagerovo with "R". She said "so coming here with "R" is more important than being cold"? You have to love the way these ladies look after you!

As we were walking we went past the school that I gave the CD player and English lessons to. I told Larisa that I had been in that school before. She replied "it was you? Were you the foreign man who helped the school"?! I said "how do you know about it"? She replied "everyone knows about it"! I said "everyone in Bagerovo knows"? She replied "no" Everyone in Bagerovo and Kerch"! She looked at me with a very "proud" look and said "why did you not tell me about this before"? I told her it was no big deal. It was a second hand cd player worth nothing. I only wanted to help someone, so I gave it to the school. She held me tightly as we walked.

We arrived at her uncle’s house and I was introduced to him. He is a very pleasant man and he seems to be very calm and happy with life. He welcomed me warmly and said he was happy to meet the man who has made Larisa so happy. Larisa told him I was supposed to buy a hat this morning, but came to Bagerovo instead. He said I was right to do what I did, because a hat would be a waste of money. Larisa and I looked at each other and wondered what he was talking about. He got up and called us to the hall. There was a large cupboard in the corner and he opened it. There must have been about 20 hats in it! He told me to choose one. Larisa picked one for me and we returned to the kitchen.

His mother arrived and made us dinner. I love this woman! She is about 80, but runs up and down the stairs like a teenager, drinks cognac like water and is full of life! There was a bottle of cognac on the table and we were told to try it. "It is the best in Crimea and it is made in Bagerovo". I must say... The bottle looks like one you would pay a lot of money for, so maybe they are right? It was very nice.  I noticed Larisa's uncle was not drinking. He would drink water with every toast. As it turns out, he works in the distillery that makes the cognac and can take home as much as he wants. He was an alcoholic for years. It cost him his wife and some of his family. It nearly cost him all of his family! But... One day, 8 years ago, he woke up on the side of a road and decided to stop drinking. He hasn't touched a drop since! He works with drink, brings it home for his friends and family, pours it for his friends and still doesn't touch a drop! WoW! You gotta hand it to the guy!

We were getting ready to leave, when the granny told us to wait for 5 minutes. She took another swig of cognac, ran down the stairs and into the garden. About 5 minutes later, she re-appeared with a huge bag of potatoes and mixed vegetables. Then she had another swig, went back down and returned with a dead goose! We were told to take them home and have a nice supper tomorrow. The uncle insisted on carrying the stuff to the bus stop for us. As we walked, Larisa told him that I like Bagerovo and would like to buy a house here sometime in the future. He said he would be very happy to have me living close to him and would be happy to help in any way he can. He offered to talk to the mayor for me, but Larisa explained that I already know him. What a lovely family!