Looking for country girl

[Canadian53]

I have been looking for quite some time for a woman who will like to live in the country. I live in a community of 4500 people and we do not have all the luxaries of the big city. The area I am in is mostly a retirement community and we live a quiet and peaceful life. I have posted all this information in my profile and made no secret to the effect we do not have Disco's, fancy restaurants or large museums here. I also am not rich in the materialistic sense. I have a good home and live comfortably. I have read some of the comments concerning foreign women and my eyes have opened up some. I have had over 30 letters to my profile but they are all from large cities. ie. odessa, St Petersburg, Moscow.
I am retired and have an average income. I have read on some sites the average wage for someone in Ru is about $ 250 US /month. From reading some of the comments here it seems the women in Ru and the Ukraine do think we are all well off. I can offer someone a good and comfortable life filled with love and understanding as most of them are asking for but how do I get them to understand I am just like them, a middle income earner who doesn't have loads of money to throw around and is willing to give all his heart. I should also let you know I am a big man of 270 lbs but am taking steps to thin out a bit. I look forward to your comments. This is my first posting here and I am testing the waters because I do not know what to expect and I will learn just like the rest of you. Thanks again for your input.

[groovlstk]

I don't think you're chasing the moon. There are women who would be comfortable living in rural areas but you'll have to demonstrate the differences between rural Canada and rural Ukraine/Russia - they are vast and some women may assume the worst.

That said, however, you shouldn't assume that you can budget $3000 for this little endeavor and hope to find little miss rural princess and live happily ever after. As far as finances go, you have to differentiate the standard of living you can provide for your girl vs. what kind of cash you can afford to spend during your search. You're courting disaster if you have to shackle yourself w/ financial constraints that limit the number of visits or time you can spend on the ground. If this is necessary given your income, I'd advise you to quit before you ruin your life.

FWIW, I probably spent about $40k in my search and the bill went up during the first year of my wife's arrival, but now that she's working the balance is shifting. I'd guess I'm somewhere in the middle, maybe other guys can chime in and provide their figures.

[Misha]

I will give the same warning that I give to all Canadians. Unless you are willing to spend a great deal of time in Russia (or Ukraine) over at least a year, you risk having your wife's application for permanent residence rejected as a "marriage of convenience." Canada does not have a "fiancee visa" and you can only sponsor a spouse or common-law partner. For the latter, you have to demonstrate at least a year of continuous residence. For the former, your relationship should have lasted a year (a couple of weeks won't cut it) as you will have to demonstrate that you have a legitimate relationship.

[diverboy70]

Canadian!

I am in quite the same situation as you are! I live in a small place, and thats the main reason I look for foreign girls. I dated a girl from St:Petersburg but it fell pretty much on the fact that I live in such a small place, and she was not committed enough to go into that. However I think it can work, you just have to find the right girl for you!

Right now I am e-mailing a real "small town girl" from Lithuania, and honestly I think we have a lot more in common! I will visit her in three weeks and take it from there

Anyway Canadian, Im sure you will find whar you are looking for, just be honest in your introductionletters!

[diverboy70]

About budget, I  budget´this trip about 1000 Euro including everything. It's fine for me for an autumn break!

[Faux Pas]

Canadian

groov is right. I'm not married although planning to be. My search is over but I feel the expenses won't begin to wane for a while and I am about 15K (usd) in after multiple trips and I'll return more before the K-1 visa gets approved. I am already beginning to feel some of the expense of relocating her. 40K is probably a conservative figure. Can you swing that? Keep in mind it is scattered throughout the duration of the process.

I don't know your living situation but in all likelihood your rural setting is nothing compared to a rural setting in Russia or Ukraine. Some on the forum may tell you to stay away from the ladies of the bigger cities. I think doing so would be a mistake and you could possibly overlook some women who wouldn't think twice about a rural country setting. My town is about 10,000 population and I had some of those same concerns. I found many ladies from the bigger cities that were more than interested and found a real gem in Siberia from a city of 500,000. I say don't let city size mislead you. Search for the woman

About your size, are you happy with yourself? If you're not, how can you expect someone else to be? You can see some pictures many guys in this pursuit and we come in all sizes, shapes and looks. The point I am trying to make here is a good woman will love you for who you are usually, if you can love her as well as yourself. If you feel you need to lose a few pounds or a lot then do it.

[BillyB]

Welcome Canadian53,

  Be honest with the ladies you're writing to early on about where you live by describing it in detail. I would do that within the second letter you exchange with them. If they can't handle it, they will stop writing saving you both from wasting time on each other. What agency are you using at the moment?

[Gator]

Canadian53,

Play close attention to Misha's warning.  A lot of advice you will receive will come from Americans who have a much less difficult immigration process.  To make this happen, you will be spending more money than the average American and European.

The area I am in is mostly a retirement community and we live a quiet and peaceful life.

This could be an advantage.  Most RW want to work.  They enjoy the money of course, yet I think they are driven more about having the security of a job.   Finding a job is not so easy.

Retirement communities typically need healthcare workers.  In Florida, we have a shortage of nurses.  So I suggest that you expand your search to include English-speaking nurses from provincial cities.  It will take a RW nurse a while to become fully licensed, yet they should be able to get some position in healthcare soon after their arrival.

I am retired and have an average income.

Being retired I assume that you are in your 60s.  If so, I suggest that you consider RW in their early 50s.  Why?  Being old (my age, incidentally), carrying too much weight, not having a lot of discretionary money, living in a small "village", etc. all add up to disaster if you pursued the younger women.  If your birthyear is 1953, that makes you 55 (a government worker?).  If so, I would pursue women not younger than 45.

[ScottinCrimea]

Gator makes some excellent points.  By your own admission you are not a "hot body" and are seeking someone who wants a wonderful companion no matter the age, size or shape.  In all fairness, you should do the same.

[diverboy70]

Is it just me that sometimes feel a bit too "planning" about this? where is she from, costs of flights and hotels/apartments, Future Visas and immigration and so on?

[Misha]

Is it just me that sometimes feel a bit too "planning" about this? where is she from, costs of flights and hotels/apartments, Future Visas and immigration and so on?

Well, I would say that one must know what one is getting into before starting. Let's say, hypothetically, that a Canadian finds the woman of his dreams. They get married and fill out the immigration paperwork. Then, an immigration officer rejects her application for permanent residence because it is deemed to be a marriage of convenience. What then? You can appeal the decision, but you should be prepared to spend tens of thousands of dollars to win your case and it will take a long while for it to work its way through the system. The risk is not solely in terms of money, but also in terms of heartbreak. What happens if you do find the one, and she can't join you in your country because of immigration problems?

[Diplomacy]

Is it just me that sometimes feel a bit too "planning" about this? where is she from, costs of flights and hotels/apartments, Future Visas and immigration and so on?

Db:

It is a fair reality slap for sure.  It is a way different romance for me, and it has been many years since I had to budget money.  Luckily I do not live beyond my means, but this is sure going to cut it closer than I am used to.  I am now doing a reality check of spending habits.  I did well the first 2 weeks, but it has only been two weeks.

I never thought I waste money, but that clearly was wrong.  Going out to eat, when I am home alone saves a lot.  I like to cook too, just tired from travel and it is easier to just go buy dinner.  No hunting lease this year, and public hunting lands for this boy.

I asked her thoughts on the boat, but she said that is a need not a want.  It is not an expensive one, but $400 a month for the boat is still $100 a week.  I do use it all year, and she wants to be out on it also.  I did ask her thoughts though. 

It is a sad reality that this is a very dangerous road for those without disposable income.  If you only get one shot, then you better make it a good one.  Misha clearly knew something we did not, that is yet another obstacle.

I put $40K as a realistic budget #.  I am under that right now, but I was also set up and had spent only a little on my search prior.  I think 30K will be about what it costs when it is said and done.  I also had no real expenses while I was there as far as eating and transportation.  I may need a pair of shoes soles replaced though. 

You are retired though, and you can sure be smart on a middle class budget.  Then you have a lot of free time to chat and write emails.  I will tell you one thing, I am sure a woman trying to make it on a pension there would not have much to think about.

It is horrible watching them dig through dumpsters trying to find glass for cash.  Also you could have your retirement money deposited into an account.  Then live there for a year, and the cost of living is lower.  It is a matter of where there is a will there is usually a way. 

I will think some more about it. 

[Diplomacy]

Well how about an obvious one.  Dedicate yourself to learning Russian, that will be huge and I hope fun.  Plus it will help with confidence while you are there.  I had no idea I liked learning languages, that has been an added bonus for me during this adventure.

I think I am upgraded from a parrot to a 2 year old at this point.  A little more time and having them around I hope to be rather fluent.  Still wish I had a recorder during the towel on the floor incident.  I think there were a couple of words that are not found in the dictionary mixed in there.

[Canadian53]

I want to thank you all for your thoughts and the wisdom with which you are here helping me out. I am 52 and retired 10 years ago. I do not really have concerns with regard to finances. I live a comfortable life and really thought someone from another country would like to share in this lovely life. Being alone at any age is definitely not preferred and I wanted someone who has the same ideas of family and life as I do. Unfortunately western women as far as I am concerned are more materialistic and less family oriented. That is why so many marriages end up in divorce.

Thank-you all for the wonderful advice.

I belong to Anastasia International.

Hope you all are lucky enough to find that someone special. I will keep looking.

[Pike]

Unfortunately western women as far as I am concerned are more materialistic and less family oriented. That is why so many marriages end up in divorce.

As I understand it, the divorce rate in Former Soviet Union is about the same as in the West.  So why do you think so many marriage end up in divorce there? 

Could it be that the FSU gals are just as materialistic as their western sisters?

Could it be you are believing what you read on the agency websites?

In my considerable experience with FSU women, I have found, by and large, they are no different from Western women.

There is basically only one reason to date or marry FSU women.  That reason is that the man can 'trade up' compared to what he can date and marry in the West.

This 'trade up' can come in many categories depending on your desires and your own qualifications.  These categories are such as:  Better educated, more cultured, younger, prettier, more slender, etc. 

Note:  Despite what you read on agency websites and that you read here, FSU women in general are not "better educated, more cultured, younger, or prettier" than Western women.  It is only in the 'trading up' aspect that you are able to attain an FSU woman that you could not obtain in the West.  There are many reasons for this 'trading up' ability, but economics is the largest factor.  Don't be mislead that there is a shortage of FSU men.  This only applies to the oldest age groupings.

Note above that the only category in which the average FSU woman is better than the average Western woman is in the 'slender' category.  However, this does not mean they will remain slender when they live in the West.

In short, after you have 'traded up,' you will still be living with a WOMAN who will give you most of the same pleasures and problems as another WOMAN.

[Doll]

100% true, Pike

[BCKev]

My fellow Canuck:

I am believe you will be able to find a woman that will embrace life in a small town. Small towns do seem to get a bad rap in FSU, there are huge differences in the level of services available. You will do better by giving your correspondent(s) a good description of your town. (shopping, public services, paved roads, utilities, etc.)

Misha mentioned that you need to have a relationship of a year or longer in order for a spouse to get a permanent residence visa. This requirement no longer exists, it was dropped about 3 years ago. However, he is correct in saying that your relationship must appear to be genuine, and not a marriage of convenience. The benefits of spending a lot of time together before contemplating marriage should be obvious.

I assume that the "Anastasia International" that you mentioned is the one also known as Anastasia web. This website is well known for spamming its members with unsolicited email. Your inbox will fill up with form letters from beautiful women who have never seen or read your profile. It is a tease to get you to spend money. Some of the local agencies that work with Anastasia also fabricate correspondence. There are many wonderful women listed on this site, but it does take some sorting to get through the bull*snip* Anastasia does to generate revenue. If you decide to continue dealing with these guys, try to set up a direct means of communication with your correspondent as soon as possilbe. This is the only way you will know that you are communication with the person you think you are.

 BCKev

Edit: first post on this site and someone snipped by bull*snip*!!!!!

[Misha]

Misha mentioned that you need to have a relationship of a year or longer in order for a spouse to get a permanent residence visa. This requirement no longer exists, it was dropped about 3 years ago.

What I said was that you could either sponsor a spouse or you could sponsor a common-law partner. To be considered a common-law partner, you must live at least one year together. This is what CIC specifies with regards to common-law partners: "you have been living together in a conjugal relationship for at least one year in a continuous 12-month period that was not interrupted. (You are allowed short absences for business travel or family reasons, however.)" (source: http://cic.gc.ca/english/immigrate/sponsor/spouse-apply-who.asp#common_law).

As for sponsoring a spouse, the less time you spend together, the more red flags it will raise with CIC and the greater the likelihood of rejection. Yes, you don't have to be married a year, but if you have only known each other for a few weeks, that won't look good. As you certainly know, you have to document how you met, how the relationship developed and prove that it is a legitimate relationship.

[BCKev]

Hi Misha

Looks like I read in a bit more than what you were saying on the one year thing. oops-sorry.

What you have to say makes perfect sense to me.

BCKev

[Doll]

You will do better by giving your correspondent(s) a good description of your town. (shopping, public services, paved roads, utilities, etc.)

This and your financial situation which is income versus expenses.
"Comfortable life" is a relative notion.

[Canadian53]

Hello Doll,

When I talk about comfortable life I meant my income exceeds my expenses. I do not count pennies but at the same token I can't afford $ 100.00 night out all the time either.
I would like to know from the Russian and Ukranian women here what they preceive as financially secure. I read all the time that the women want thaie men financially secure. What does that mean.

My life is simple and by that I mean I enjoy the simple things in life. Sitting by the lake side watching the waves comming in, taking my boat out for a trip somewhere along Lake Ontario. Listening to the birds as we have a morning coffee.

My town does not have public transportation except taxi cabs. You can walk across the entire town in about 6 minutes. It has 1 main street, 2 street lights and a stop sign. In the summer the population swells to about 80,000 - 100,000 people because of the local beach.

Thanks to everyones advice here I have closed my account with Anastasia International / Web. I do appreciate all the advice.

I looked on a review site and according to them the top dating/marriage service is Cherry Blossems. Does anyone have any input on this organization?

Looking forward to all your assistance in this matter.

[Doll]

Canadian53 , security or comfortable life (financially) can mean different things for different women. It all depends on her age, ambitions, if she has or she doesn't have kid(s).
 I came to marry a guy who like he said lived in the middle of nowhere and this is true- we live in the woods. It is OK for me as I had the car right away, I got enough money to spend on me and my son. There were some restrictions but they were reasonable for me.
Income exceeding expenses- how much? Will it exceed the expenses when a woman is here? Will she be able to shop ? Will she have a car? Vacations?
There is a big difference if it is 40K a year or 150K.

[Doll]

I do not count pennies but at the same token I can't afford $ 100.00 night out all the time either

What is " all the time"? Once a month, once a week, never?
 

[Misha]

There is a big difference if it is 40K a year or 150K.

There is also a big difference if a woman marries for love or if she marries "по расчёту" (marriage by "calculation").

[Doll]

There is also a big difference if a woman marries for love or if she marries "по расчёту" (marriage by "calculation").

And?