For the scamfighters

[rose]

After being alone for a while I've decided to look for someone with whom I can share my life. I went to a Christian website and posted my profile. I didn't write too much about myself, but from what I've posted I mentioned that I'm Russian. My place of residence is stated that I live in ....(city),CA. I haven't been on this site even a week when I've got a wink from an astonishing looking guy, who stated his occupation as a lawyer from the suburbs of Denver. While thinking that there is something fishy about this guy, I sent him a reply in which I've asked if he wanted to introduce himself. He connected to the IC of that site and introduced himself as Jack, I believe. The next his question was in what city was I born. It was kind of fast move, moreover, my experience tells me that not too many people in America know even St.Petersburg, and during 10 years that I live in the US I'm tired to explain people geography of Russia. On the other hand, it was a red flag for me, and I asked him if he ever been to Russia. He ignored my questions and kept insisting on me telling him my birthplace. After he got the answer, he went to the next step of his interrogation. He claimed that he knows fluently Russian and requested me to type him in Latin letter but in Russian a particular sentence. By that time I definitely felt a pressure from him when he ignored all my questions and kept insisting on me giving him what he wanted. It was rude. But I decide to give him what he wanted, because I've started to suspect that he was out of his mind. Finally he told me that he is a scammer hunter and tries to find Russian and African scammers, and with these words he signed off.
I was shocked and pissed.
For all those who are obsessed with weeding out scammers I would like to say: there are much more honest people in the world, and while you think you are trying to do an honorable act, the means which you use sometimes offend honest people. I don't deserve such disrespect just because I wrote that I'm Russian. If you want your war - go ahead, but do it in a decent way!

[Ade]

I was shocked and pissed.
For all those who are obsessed with weeding out scammers I would like to say: there are much more honest people in the world, and while you think you are trying to do an honorable act, the means which you use sometimes offend honest people. I don't deserve such disrespect just because I wrote that I'm Russian. If you want your war - go ahead, but do it in a decent way!

It's sad that there are guys out there that have the subtlety and social skills of a sledgehammer and that women like you have to put up with them. 

[kievstar]

Internet has a lot of crazy people.  Just have to be careful. 

[catzenmouse]

Sorry you had to go through that kind of BS Rose. Maybe you should return the favor and rake him over the coals at A/D then send him the link so he can see that his behavior is basically that of the scammer that he professes to be hunting. 

Keep the faith and don't settle for less than you deserve. And remember: you deserve the best!

Ken

[rose]

I need to say -  all this Internat dating... I have Masters degree, but in this dating I'm clueless... I feel as i I'm 5 y.o. For example, I don't have any idea what should I reply if I'm getting a wink "I'm interested in you!" If the guy is unable to introduce hiself, and is using just a standard wink... I think while reading his profile "Ok, keep being intrested" What can I do? Or I don't know what to anser on the short letter which obviously is sent to every woman that catches his attention. I understand, you can't write to everyone the individual letter, but a tiny personal touch would help. For example, in one standard letter  guy asks me to show him my picture. Hello... My picture is in my profile. Be more attantive what you send out!
And another thing - a good half of all guys on the site is in construction. What is going on? In the construction a field with less amount of married christian guys who are ready for a serious relationships?
And the last thing that surprises me - I get a lot of e-mails from the guys that are 3-5 years younger, and it seems to me that this age difference doen't bother them. So, what is going on in this department? 35 y.o. men are looking for 40 y.o, while 55 y.o. men are looking for 30? Weird.
What I've already learned from this experience - that this dating is absolutely crasy, time consuming, and now I have a lot of doubts that it  is really productive. Chances to meet a crazy person are much higher than chances to meet an adecvate one. I hate to say that I 've started better understand those girls from AD.
A week of such "dating" is almost enough for me, I can't imagine how people do it year after year. It is too tuff.

[groovlstk]

Rose,

The online dating world, particularly the free personals, has more than its share of crazy, needy, lying, and cowardly people. To navigate these waters you need to not only be careful but also be skeptical and not allow yourself to be offended by losers like the scamfighting crusader (who as you probably know is neither a lawyer nor handsome - more likely he looks like a horse's ass and lives in his parent's basement). There are good people like yourself out there using these services but to find them you'll have to persevere and use caution.

Also, any guy who sends you an electronic wink isn't worth your attention - either he's browsing photos and sending mass winks to woman who meet his minimum beauty standards or he is so stunted socially that he can't bring himself to make an introduction through a third party.

[Misha]

It also depends on the site and whether you have to pay. IIRC, Lavalife requires you to use up your paid credits to send a message, but you can wink for free.

[BillyB]

And the last thing that surprises me - I get a lot of e-mails from the guys that are 3-5 years younger, and it seems to me that this age difference doen't bother them. So, what is going on in this department? 35 y.o. men are looking for 40 y.o, while 55 y.o. men are looking for 30? Weird.

What's wrong with construction guys? What's wrong with me? Well...construction guys can be a little on the rough side I'll admit. You're probably seeing a lot of construction guys on dating sites because there is very little women in the contruction field of work and when you do see a woman, there's a good chance she's a manly looking girl and behaving like a man.

Rose, in some ways I understand why that man you're communicate is paranoid. 90% of the good looking girls on some of those dating sites are fakes or scams. I'm sure he's had a few girls try to deceive him already.  But regardless, his questions and requests are bizarre when he finally communicates with a real person. His loss.

If I remember your posts from a few years back correctly, you seem to be a decent lady and great to communicate with Rose. It may take time but don't be discourged from seeking happiness by a few bizzare or bad guys out there. With so many insincere people out there, you truly got to sort out the crap to find a gem.

[rose]

To navigate these waters you need to not only be careful but also be skeptical and not allow yourself to be offended by losers like the scamfighting crusader (who as you probably know is neither a lawyer nor handsome - more likely he looks like a horse's ass and lives in his parent's basement).

Somehow in my vision it was not parents basement, but a trailer. I probably gave him too much credit in my assumption of his life achievements.

What's wrong with construction guys? What's wrong with me? Well...construction guys can be a little on the rough side I'll admit.

There is nothing wrong with the construction guys in general. Sorry if I got misunderstood. It's just not for me - they are too rough for me.

Rose, in some ways I understand why that man you're communicate is paranoid. 90% of the good looking girls on some of those dating sites are fakes or scams. I'm sure he's had a few girls try to deceive him already.

You will be laughing now. The first thought which came to my mind when that guy logged off was "Maxx!"

Well, as to me, I think I'll stick to my trust in Lord and just will keep my eyes open. If He ment for me to meet some good man, I'll meet him no matter what. Anyways, thank you for your help. here is something from me to all of you:   

[catzenmouse]

What's wrong with construction guys? What's wrong with me?

For the former I'd say nothing. For you.... well Billy I don't think we have enough bandwidth or storage space to get into that one. 

Sorry... I just had to go there.

[viking]

From a different perspective.. any guy who has the time and energy to go through womens profiles SEARCHING for scammers is one dude who had a rough time previously and can't let it go. That speaks volumes to his mental balance. A normal guy wants to search for an honest one.

Rose, never feel pressure to answer any letter which makes you feel uncomfortable. It is cyber space after all. Just hit delete and move on. (hmmmm. where have I heard that before)?

[BillyB]

For the former I'd say nothing. For you.... well Billy I don't think we have enough bandwidth or storage space to get into that one. 

Sorry... I just had to go there.

We don't have to waste bandwidth. I can lump myself into one simple word that describes me well: "Crazy"

[rose]

I wish I could stay away from this story. Unfortunatelly, it's not over. This message I got today in the mail on the Christian site where I posted my profile:

Now I know you are looking for a rich american.  Well you found one and I have millions, but you will not see a penny.  Good luck on this site, either way you are too big for my horse.  It cannot take big bone 200lb russian women.

Now walk away and good luck scamming.  This is my last night working on this site.  But I delivered your IP to the guys in charge.  The days of scamming are over.

I reported him to the admin of the site.
P.S. Do you know what is the most upseting in all this? I wear clothes size 4!!! I'm offended!

Yhe guy is moron! Did I mentioned that his name was Jack?   :whirling:

[Ade]

From a different perspective.. any guy who has the time and energy to go through womens profiles SEARCHING for scammers is one dude who had a rough time previously and can't let it go. That speaks volumes to his mental balance. A normal guy wants to search for an honest one.

Rose, never feel pressure to answer any letter which makes you feel uncomfortable. It is cyber space after all. Just hit delete and move on. (hmmmm. where have I heard that before)?

Actually I've seen a few guys posting on anti-scam sites that make a hobby of trying to find scammers and pro-daters; I guess some of them are a little brain dead and go over the top when confronting women.

[kievstar]

This person has some serious problems.  Internet allows people to hide behind a keyboard and just be a complete jerk.  Just have to not take things seriously on the internet.

Writing styles also can make someone different than in person.  But I am certain this guy has serious issues. 

[Sculpto]

Rose..

Please do not let the idiot discourage you.  As Jaded mentioned there are some men that have become obsessed with the scam thing.  They call themselves scam baiters and they are definitely out of touch with reality for one reason or another.

As far as the losers comment about being a 200 lb Russian woman.. you may not know this but back in the Cold War days part of the propoganda was that Russian women were very large and built like linebackers for the National Football League.  I am very sure if men had known 20 years ago how big a lie that was it would have caused massive political disruption in the USA as all other claims about the Soviet Union would have then been questionable.

E

[Maxx2]

 You will be laughing now. The first thought which came to my mind when that guy logged off was "Maxx!"

I am rather puzzled you would say that. I remember we talked once on the phone and I advised you after you told me of your circumstances that you had the grounds to file an abuse petition and could do so without your husband's knowledge. I felt sympathy for your situation. Nobody should have a filing of an I-130 for their child held up for years and years. When I did it for my ex and her son it was just 3 weeks after they got here. I just do not see that I am anything like this fellow or your ex-husband. 




Maxx

[connected1999]

Rose

As with all groups of people there are some who are good and bad. I read this and feel that the level of scams being run is high and varied but that as you say also there are many good women out there looking for a serious relationship.

There are many scammers on the net, few are actually women although I believe some girls get involved who have small incomes and need the money. The majority of scammers are men pretending to be women and I saw several newspaper articles

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-542276/Scamski-city-online-Russian-brides-turn-Mafia-conmen.html

This gives men a reason to be worried and some who have been duped decide to try to waste scammer’s time and money where possible. I would state that for any man to accuse a person without sufficient proof is foolish at best and lets not say what it is at worst. If he was a good baiter and took the time to fill out the scam card I believe he would have to apologise to you.

[Shadow]

I have been baiting scammers in the time I was sincerely looking for a woman. I spend about as much thought and time on a bait as scammers do on sending their form letter.
However I was never tempted to make scam hunting my only reason to approach women, or to continue this after finding what I was looking for. Unfortunately there are people out there who are hurt and as a result decide to waste their time on hunting ghosts.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Rose, what Christian websites are you hanging out at? i was going through the same thing several years ago. I came to the conclusion that www.christiancafe.com is the best of them all. But www.match.com actually worked for me and I met my two husbands from that website.

You have to learn to not take crazy people too close to heart, search and wink at men every day, in about 2-3 weeks it's possible to get acquainted with 2-3 good men after ignoring 100 crazy ones. That's the process, at least the beginning of it.
PM me if you wish for more details.