Wife split!

[Faux Pas]

  
 And I don't blame her after I read  the whole thread  and your last post.
The last thing I want between my husband and me is uncles and aunts who tell me what I have to do in my house.
I would move out also or better kick these people out. Seriously!
I guess now the "picture" of Wayne marriage is complete.

Doll, but you find her treatment of Wayne completely acceptable? Would you allow anyone or animal to poop all over your house? That act is a good indication that his wife did not look to the house as hers. Seriously, somebody NEEDED to tell her to take care of the dog and the house. Granted, it should have been Wayne. Personally, I find that whole scenario disgusting and indicative of his wife's respect for pretty much just about everything.
 

[Diplomacy]

You already had a "picture" of Wayne's marriage in your mind from the minute he posted about his problems, and since then have worked furiously to rearrange his story to fit that picture - like gluing the pieces of a broken mirror back together to reflect some warped version of reality.

FWIW, new guys should take this to heart: If your wife marries you for the wrong reasons, you will not get the slightest ounce of sympathy or understanding from her Russian friends. Some will avoid getting close to you, knowing the guillotine is descending towards your unsuspecting neck. Some will have nothing but contempt for you due to your foolishness and believe you deserve your cruel fate. Some will simply fall in along patriotic lines. Regardless, you're screwed if you expect compassion or understanding.

Amen, Groov!

[Doll]

You already had a "picture" of Wayne's marriage in your mind from the minute he posted about his problems, and since then have worked furiously to rearrange his story to fit that picture - like gluing the pieces of a broken mirror back together to reflect some warped version of reality.

Yes, I did have this picture after I read 2 or 3 of his first posts. His wife was not happy and she left for this reason.

[Doll]

Doll, but you find her treatment of Wayne completely acceptable?

People, we don't know how she was treated or how she treated Wayne- with every new post there is something different. Now there are his aunt and uncle who decided to live in their home though O. didn't want it. "They stand for me" Just super! Stand for what?
So some uncle or who ever can come to me house and tell me how to live, shovel through my room etc? NFW

[Misha]

People, we don't know how she was treated or how she treated Wayne- with every new post there is something different. Now there are his aunt and uncle who decided to live in their home though O. didn't want it. "They stand for me" Just super! Stand for what?
So some uncle or who ever can come to me house and tell me how to live, shovel through my room etc? NFW

The way that I read it was that the uncle and the aunt were there to serve as witnesses should she claim that something happened when she already decided to leave and they were in the process of separating.

[Doll]

The way that I read it was that the uncle and the aunt were there to serve as witnesses should she claim that something happened when she already decided to leave and they were in the process of separating.

How do you know?
Even so the things between husband and wife are solved by husband and wife but not by some people who wanted to live in the house though O. didn't want it.
It was unbearable for her.

[Misha]

How do you know?

How do we know anything on a forum? That is why I started with the phrase: "As I read it" which implies that it is my interpretation based on what I read, as opposed to my being omniscient.

Even so the things between husband and wife are solved by husband and wife but not by some people who wanted to live in the house though O. didn't want it.
It was unbearable for her.

By the time the aunt and uncle had shown up, based on what Wayne wrote, she clearly had decided that she no longer wanted to be Wayne's wife.

[Doll]

Misha, you are just super interpreter! 

[Faux Pas]

How do we know anything on a forum? That is why I started with the phrase: "As I read it" which implies that it is my interpretation based on what I read, as opposed to my being omniscient.

By the time the aunt and uncle had shown up, based on what Wayne wrote, she clearly had decided that she no longer wanted to be Wayne's wife.

Misha perhaps it would have been much better if uncle and aunt hadn't shown up. Afterall Wayne and wife could have reconciled and be happily together in wedded bliss by now. Albeit in about a foot and a half of dog poop.

Doll is just not going to see Wayne as the mule he was. Rather how dare he consider she is not pure. There is going to be no wrong doing on the part of his former wife from Doll's prospective. She really isn't capable of multi-dimensional thought. Pretty sad really.

[Doll]

 Faux Pas, for the tenth time- a woman with a kid will never leave the husband if she is happy with him in his home

[Vaughn]

.... a woman with a kid will never leave the husband if she is happy with him in his home

Doll, welcome home. Why would a woman who is not happy marry him at all?

[Misha]

Faux Pas, for the tenth time- a woman with a kid will never leave the husband if she is happy with him in his home

O.'s daughter if I recall correctly was 17 when she arrived. Hardly a "kid."

[Doll]

Doll, welcome home. Why would a woman who is not happy marry him at all?

Thanks. Her intention WAS marriage

[Doll]

O.'s daughter if I recall correctly was 17 when she arrived. Hardly a "kid."

I don't understand what you don"t understand ! The girl is a kid who came here with her mother- totally dependent on Wayne. 17 - yes, but no family here, no support, everything new.
What don't you understand? To come here with a kid and to leave the husband  is close to a suicide. A woman will do it if it is absolutely unbearable for her to live with her husband. I mean RW,an immigrant.
half a year after the wedding, two years or 7- doesn't matter.

[Faux Pas]

Faux Pas, for the tenth time- a woman with a kid will never leave the husband if she is happy with him in his home

Doll, and you know this how? From the descriptions Wayne has given she was neither happy or in love from day one. It is evident her intention was to leave him almost immediately. She used him and he invited her to by his own actions. I see both of them at fault but hers was obviously deceptive. Because she has a child doesn't in any way conclude that she was without fault here. Your logic is seriously flawed.

[Doll]

Doll, and you know this how? From the descriptions Wayne has given she was neither happy or in love from day one. It is evident her intention was to leave him almost immediately. She used him and he invited her to by his own actions. I see both of them at fault but hers was obviously deceptive. Because she has a child doesn't in any way conclude that she was without fault here. Your logic is seriously flawed.

Then you have no clue what it is to get naturalized here- it takes years and years plus tons of money of you do it after the divorce.

[Doll]

It takes years, you need a place to live and money to live on. For a woman immigrant it is very hard to get the job that pays all these bills so even if she wanted to just get her GC she would have stayed  much longer but apparently she couldn't.
She couldn't stand it (what we don't know) anymore.

[Faux Pas]

Yes Doll I have a clue what it takes to get a GC. Her two year card was en route. You do not even fathom the possibility that she was waiting for it and it was all part of her plan. You won't allow your thought process to go that way. The possibility that this lady had nefarious intention even while she has a child is unfathomable to you. That displays your narrow-mindless flawed logic.

[Daveman]

I don't understand what you don"t understand ! The girl is a kid who came here with her mother- totally dependent on Wayne. 17 - yes, but no family here, no support, everything new.
What don't you understand? To come here with a kid and to leave the husband  is close to a suicide. A woman will do it if it is absolutely unbearable for her to live with her husband. I mean RW,an immigrant.
half a year after the wedding, two years or 7- doesn't matter.

Unless she found "someone better" for the upgrade.  The boyfriend whom she thought would be a stepping stone to a higher status, or, a rescuer for her from a bad situation.  We cannot know the full story as Wayne's ex is not here to give her side (thank you lord), but however it went down and whatever was behind the scenes.. it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

[Doll]

Unless she found "someone better" for the upgrade

She might but INS terminates her status upon her divorce with K-1 visa sponsor. To remarry somebody she needs to leave the country and start the whole thing all over.

Her two year card was en route.

Two years is for a married woman not for the one whose husband files for the divorce.The divorce terminates her GC unless she starts a very expensive process of removing the conditions herself. Till she gets it she needs a lot of money to live on.

[Doll]

narrow-mindless flawed logic.

never heard of this expression.

[Diplomacy]

I agree with Doll in this logic being sound theory.  There are other sound theories stated here, by others.  Faux Paus, Doll and company help women in trouble here.  They know the ins and outs of the laws, reality of trying to make it on their own, and it is a perspective.  Most of all, they how to manipulate the laws into a woman's favor, and coach women.

The issue that Doll and friends face, is similar to what we face here.  You hear one side of the story.  Have no real way of edifying the story.

[Misha]

I don't understand what you don"t understand ! The girl is a kid who came here with her mother- totally dependent on Wayne. 17 - yes, but no family here, no support, everything new.

Yes, 17. Old enough to work, in some states old enough to get married, old enough so she doesn't need mom to look after her all the time.... Hardly a "kid" by any standards, but a young woman capable of being 100% independent. The only issue was getting a permanent green card, and that has nothing to do with having a "kid" IMHO.

[Faux Pas]

I agree with Doll in this logic being sound theory.  There are other sound theories stated here, by others.  Faux Paus, Doll and company help women in trouble here.  They know the ins and outs of the laws, reality of trying to make it on their own, and it is a perspective.  Most of all, they how to manipulate the laws into a woman's favor, and coach women.

The issue that Doll and friends face, is similar to what we face here.  You hear one side of the story.  Have no real way of edifying the story.

You and I will disagree here. I see her logic and her position seriously flawed. Wayne's wife is the one leaving and from the story told here (which is all we have to go by, Doll included) the lady clearly used Wayne to obtain her green card. She married a man she didn't love, holed up in the bedroom with the computer and no communicating or even attempt to, had/has local BF also seemingly one in another state and put nothing into the marriage. She won't even clean up after her dog for gawd sake. Doll helps women in trouble, good for her, unfortunately for her , her generosity does not improve her intellect.   

[Diplomacy]

I never said Doll was generous.  They teach people how to set up domestic violence charges.  With or without merit.  If O had come to some of them for help.  Her plan would have probably been better executed.

Do not forget emptying bank accounts and getting a nice car on credit, while still married.  Right Doll?  Or are my terps not so good? 

Someone like Wayne is getting what they deserve in a certain "social standing". 

It would have made more sense for her to hold out for Citizenship.  She could have easily persuaded Wayne to adopt her daughter IMO.  Then Uni tuition could have been paid. 

O had a lot of time to reach out for a network.  She either had no plan to stick around or did not like what she had when she got here.  That is not a reflection of Wayne.  It is just a lot of one side, and no understanding of the other side. 

Doll did give good advice to Wayne, and could have said nothing.  Wayne got off with some bumps and bruises.  It could have been a lot worse.

All I am saying is that what Doll said is possible, did not say that it was my theory.