Wife split!

[kievstar]

Wayne, have you see an counselor yet or lawyer? 

[Wayne]

I found some more information about the differences between divorce and annulment:

Divorce vs. Annulment
A valid marriage is a binding contractual relationship between a man and a woman that is regulated by law.  A strong presumption exists favoring a marriage’s validity.  Once the celebration of a marriage is shown, the contract of marriage, the capacity of the parties, and everything necessary to the validity of the marriage are presumed.  A party seeking to have a marriage annulled, in order to overcome the presumption favoring the validity of a marriage, must establish by clear and positive proof that the marriage was not valid.
For a marriage to be valid the following must be true:
1.   The parties must not be married already
2.   The parties must not be of the same sex
3.   The parties must not be related within a prohibited degree of consanguinity or affinity
4.   The parties must be of marriageable age
5.   The parties must be mentally competent
6.   The parties must be entering the marriage without fraud of duress
7.   The parties must be free of communicable venereal disease

Clients often ask attorneys to distinguish between annulment and divorce proceedings.  Although the importance of annulment has been somewhat diminished by enactment of the no-fault divorce law, it should be considered as an alternative to divorce.  The attorney handling an annulment should carefully weigh the difficulty of overcoming the presumption of a marriage against the ease of obtaining a no-fault divorce, especially if the divorce involves no conflict over property settlement. 
An annulment proceeding is instituted to obtain a judicial ruling that a valid marriage never took place because of a defect existing when the parties were married.  A divorce proceeding is instituted to terminate a valid marriage for reasons that occurred after the marriage took place.

The following are advantages of an annulment proceeding:
1.   Starting a new marriage as if it were a first marriage has a psychological advantage.
2.   Any stigma of being divorced is avoided.
3.   Spousal support payments from a prior marriage that were terminated on remarriage may be reinstated if the second marriage is annulled.
4.   Pension, Social Security, or insurance benefits due from a prior marriage but discontinued at the time of this marriage may be reinstated.
5.   An annulment vitiates all interfamily ties as though they never existed.
6.   There are not lengthy residency requirements.
7.   There is no 60-day mandatory waiting period before a hearing.


The following are disadvantages of an annulment:
1.   Spousal support is hardly ever granted.
2.   The woman has no dower rights in her husband’s property
3.   Annulment can be barred by estoppel, prior knowledge, condonation, or in pari delicto (equal fault).
4.   The proof required for annulment might be more difficult to obtain than that required no-fault divorce.


Fraudulent representations of wealth, social standing, fame and disposition are generally not sufficient grounds for an annulment proceeding.

back to top



    
Developed by SLB Networks
©2006 The Divorce Law Center - All Rights Reserved

Above listed as "disadvantages" of annulment is that alimony is not awarded.  That would actually be an advantage to the man in most cases.  It would be extremely rare for a woman to have to pay alimony to her exhusband. 

The other thing is "dower rights".  In Michigan, a wife gets dower rights to her husband's real estate property, which is a 1/3 interest.  A married man cannot buy or sell any real estate or take out a loan unless his wife signs the papers.  Every real estate agent in Michigan knows this.  Of course, a divorce settlement can set aside these rights.

So it looks like an annulment would be an advantage to a man, other than any immigration considerations.

[Doll]

I don't think it is your case, Wayne.

[Wayne]

Well, I got through Christmas OK.  My Son came to visit and we went to see some of my family on Christmas day.  New Year I will probably be alone and just watch football on TV. I don't usually get many visitors during the Winter.

Today, is step-daughter's 18th birthday.  I hope she is doing something fun.

I am not trying to get revenge.  However, there is the concept of justice.

[Wayne]

Some good news!  Motion was approved giving me exclusive use of the marital home.  As you all remember, this thread was started when wife split last October.  She returned and caused trouble, but left a few weeks later.  We suspect that she went to New York.  Anyway, she did not return and cannot return now to my home.

Wife is represented by an attorney from an organization that represents low income and/or people 60 years old or older.  Her attorney is local, but we do not know wife's whereabouts.  I looked up the website and don't see where this attorney is involved in immigration.  He does not do criminal cases.  For divorce cases, it says some form of abuse must be involved. 

Things to come!

[BillyB]

Wayne, just be glad your wife is capable and has the means of living on her own and not in need of your home to live in while you two divorce. If it came between putting your wife and her daughter in a homeless shelter or in your home, a judge would probably kick you out until the divorce if final. She doesn't seem to be putting up much of a fight.

[Doll]

I looked up the website and don't see where this attorney is involved in immigration. 

He doesn't need to be involved as this is the divorce case so far.

[Jumper]

whoa!

93 pages


wayne, 
all things (that you've shared) considered, i think you are lucky.
i don't think she intended much harm,, or she would have done far more.
regardless of her original intentions and motivations  ,good bad or ugly,
 she  simply has moved on. you dion teven know wher eshe is and suspect she is far out of state.
that's about as clean as it generally gets in your type of scenerio?
shes moved on..
I think you should too, as quickly and cost effectively as you can manage.


you did seek good legal council and are being represented right?
(i havnt seen that answered)

while you feel that some form of *justice* , might make you feel as lot better,
it sseems natura lthat it would..

i really think the odds are that it ultimately wont be nearly as tasty as your currently imagine it will?
 and you might  be left  feeling empty, more like eating a stick of celery , after long anticipating a steak..

and my guess is the cost of that celery ,, both monetarly and in time ,patience,  and wasted emotion on it,
 would be a more than bit higher than a really good steak dinner..

either way
Good luck.

[CaptB]

Wayne,

As your close neighbor (Gaylord, MI).......I have to say "AJ" has given you excellent advice. You may think you want to "give it to her"....for what (your perceptrion) she did to you. GCG......maybe. Maybe the reason she moved on was because of things between you......that only the two of you share. BOTTOMLINE:

You "COULD" be responsible for your immigrant wife (financially) fot the next "TEN YEARS". At this point she seams to have moved on......as should "YOU". If you want her to pay (your perception).......for what has transpired........FORGET ABOUT IT!
Don't dig yourself into a hole by pushing this (revenge) idea about a little payback for the inconveniences you may have suffered in this relationship. Let her go. Let this situation go. You will only risk coming out (further)......on the "LOSING" end.

Take a good look at "yourself". What can you bring to a relationship (next time).....that is an improvement over what was offered........this last time. We "all" have faults. We "all"......can improve. Let this go. Move on. Read all of "MAXX" stories
before wasting anymore time.......on her. If Maxx's stories don't shake you to the core.....I wll be glad to post the story of my Brother......and his Moldovan wife.......that will scare the beejesus out of you. Remeber.......you COULD be financially responsible for you exes well-being. DROP -IT!!!! MOVE ON!!!! Worry about yourself. Work on happiness for yourself.......than on grief for someone else......who probably does not give you much thought these days.


Capt B

[groovlstk]

If Maxx's stories don't shake you to the core.....I wll be glad to post the story of my Brother......and his Moldovan wife.......that will scare the beejesus out of you.

Hmm, I thought there were no bad Moldovan women?

Sorry Enot, couldn't resist 

[Maxx2]

Wayne, you know the truth about your wife's real motives for emmigrating to the U.S. She showed this to you I am sure in a thousand more ways than you bothered to explain here. If what happened to you was experienced by the members here we would have the makings of a deportation lynch mob no doubt about it. "Revenge" would not be the operating word but rather "Justice" as you said. The bank robber should not be rewarded with the bank. These women should not be allowed to keep what they defrauded our government and their spouses out of. You and I know this.

Now with that said I can tell you what you should do. File your restrained (watch the language and tone) report with the USCIS if you can. Pull your support of her AOS by sending a letter to the local and regional service centers. Then do your best to forget about this bad trash woman who isn't worthy of you and will punish herself in ways you can't imagine. Move on with your life. No need to feel you need to warn others year after year. I got that covered. If you want to use your story to help others do so on my forum at immigrationfraudvictims.com  Most people that go there are in the mindset to listen to your words of warning and advice. 

About getting justice (deportation). It will not happen unless you get an annulment. Beyond that the Immigration Services has the deck stacked against you. They simply do not want to bother with these cases. It is far easier for them to wink these cases through and grant the green card than go through a long appeal process in immigration court.

Mostly you should look for ways to move on with your life.


Maxx

 

[gousa]

Unleash the dogs of war and cry....havoc!!! 

But do it legally and with carefull planning.

When I finally reached the final battles my attorney gave me a
DIRECT ORDER to file a DV report AGAINST her with the police immediately.

In Florida you are NOT required to allow a spouse to return to the
marital home once she moves out.  But if you let her back in again
 you are back where you started.  Other states may be different.

Take pictures of her and all the  things she does, even the messy house.    Take a movie if you can.     If you can get her to attack you and leave some marks you
can file a DV report on her and if it sticks that will gaurantee her
deportation.   

When my stuff went down I certainly didn't do that, my ex was fanatical about
manipulating me to do many things but I never antagonized her to
attack me she just did it to try to get me to beat her up which I didn't do.

But she did try to get me to beat her up which didn't work,
but if you can get your brat to to try to beat you up then you have her in the
greatest trap ever devised, which is what my ATTORNEY ORDERED me to do.

If you really want to raise hell you can punch yourself in the nose and say that
she did it.    I know about a cop who did that to his girlfriend, and it worked.
That's not a good idea since there are penalties for filing false reports.


 :evil:

[Simoni]

If you really want to raise hell you can punch yourself in the nose and say that
she did it.    I know about a cop who did that to his girlfriend, and it worked.

Or I will come by and punch you!  You need to wake up, forget about revenge or "justice," and move on.

Work on happiness for yourself.......than on grief for someone else......who probably does not give you much thought these days.

Excellent advice!

[Daveman]

If you really want to raise hell you can punch yourself in the nose and say that
she did it.    I know about a cop who did that to his girlfriend, and it worked.

 :evil:

Better to jump off the 4th floor balcony.. probably won't kill you but will have better physical evidence.. after all she pushed you...   :noidea:

Or better yet, go car surfing with your friend... stand on the roof and the vehicle races toward a building, then at the last minute he can slam on the brakes...  :evil:

Or jump into the back of a cement mixer for 10 minutes or so...  :evil:  :evil:


to Wayne.. othelutely agree with the others.. revenge may sound sweet but in this situation it is almost certain that you will lose more when the score is tallied... try to avoid the score.. bow out of this hand.. folding is not losing.. is saving your resources for a bigger win.

Good luck,
Dave

[Wayne]

The official order giving me exclusive rights to the house arrived in the mail.  Now, she cannot return.  I changed the locks.  She already took all the items she wanted from the house. 

As far as I know, there are no DV charges against me.  When she was here, wife did get angry several times and tried to make me angry and, perhaps, strick her--but I stayed cool!  For a while, my Aunt and Uncle came to stay with me so I would not be alone with wife.  They stood up for me!  Now my Aunt is 80 years old, but when wife told her she could not live in the house, my Aunt told her they were living there now.  My Uncle told wife that she could not leave her dog at the house over night unattended.  The poor dog was locked up in wife's room, crying!  Uncle told wife if she left the dog again he was going to call the dog pound--as the dog had no collar nor license. 

I was playing cards with my Aunt and Uncle and we decided to have some wine.  When I looked in the cupboards--all the wine was gone!  Whatever vodka, whisky or whatever was gone too.  The dog was making a lot of noise and wife was out, so I went to wife's room and pulled hard on the door and it opened.  Turns out, wife had installed the plunger part of the lock backwards so it was not secure.  We let the dog out, then found about 15 or 20 bottles of wine that wife had hidden away.  So we took it out of the room.  Later, we were playing cards and drinking some wine.  Wife saw the bottle which had a destinctive shape, very tall, green and unusual shape.  Wife came out of her room livid!  She threatened to call the police, saying we stold her things.  Mostly, the wine was all several years old or older and I was saving it for special occasions.  Anyway, the next day wife moved out for good.  Now, my Aunt and Uncle are known as "Russian busters"

[GoodOlBoy]

If you really want to raise hell you can punch yourself in the nose and say that
she did it.  

Or I will come by and punch you!  

Can I come too? 


Seriously Wayne, take Maxx's advice:

Mostly you should look for ways to move on with your life.
Maxx

GOB

[acrzybear]

 If you really want to raise hell you can punch yourself in the nose and say that
she did it.    I know about a cop who did that to his girlfriend, and it worked.
That's not a good idea since there are penalties for filing false reports

So you have a friend that is a police officer, he lies about a criminal offense and you think it's funny?  That says alot about you and the type of folks you hang out with.
If this had been one of my guys and I found out about it, not only would it cost him his job, but criminal charges as well. 

[LEGAL]

acrzybear  You are 100% Correct and he would never work in Law enforcement again not even a Wall mart security geek. We don't need law enforcement officers like that. 



acrzybear Its nice to see you here again. Lets chat off the board PM me and we will catch up!

[Julia G]

 Use her sillyness to collect evidence of not "bona-fide" marriage, ask her to repeat her words about reasons why she is married to you when you have witnesses around, provoke her to tell it and then file for divorce. Such sluts spoil the reputation of many good FSUW so she`s worth it, I`m sure her boyfriend doesn`t want to marry her (otherwise she would file for divorce first) so you`ll have lots of laugh watching how she`ll behave when her green card is cancelled

[BC]

Julia,

You actually read through all 93 pages of this thread??

 

[Wayne]

Hello Julia!

I see you are new to RWD.  Welcome. 

I have not seen wife for more than two months now, and do not know where she went.  Whatever boyfriend she had in the local area may have dumped her.  Finally got a response from her lawyer on the initial divorce papers which just agread.  Now, we need to get her to sign the final documents, and I hope she does not cause trouble about it.

I feel really stupid about the way I let her use me, but I was very much in love with her and let myself be used.  The thing is, I lost four years out of my life where I cared only about her. 

[Julia G]

You actually read through all 93 pages of this thread??

Near 40, so it was hard to understand it all in the end, sorry. But I think such wives must be dumped anyway. I`m not sure that Wayne decides to marry another FSUW after things happened to him and that`s bad cause he seems to be a nice guy and good husband for somebody. I feel sympathy towards him that`s why I posted here just to support him and say he can get what he wants if is more careful. If he returns to FSUW dating I would recommend him to be careful but not up to paranoia and try to forget and not make his new women guilty in what happened to him. It`s hard but possible.

[Doll]

Use her sillyness to collect evidence of not "bona-fide" marriage, ask her to repeat her words about reasons why she is married to you when you have witnesses around, provoke her to tell it and then file for divorce. Such sluts spoil the reputation of many good FSUW so she`s worth it, I`m sure her boyfriend doesn`t want to marry her (otherwise she would file for divorce first) so you`ll have lots of laugh watching how she`ll behave when her green card is cancelled

Easy! You have no idea of what you are talking of.

[Doll]

       For a while, my Aunt and Uncle came to stay with me so I would not be alone with wife.  They stood up for me! 

Now my Aunt is 80 years old, but when wife told her she could not live in the house, my Aunt told her they were living there now.

  My Uncle told wife that she could not leave her dog at the house over night unattended.

  
 

  Anyway, the next day wife moved out for good.  

And I don't blame her after I read  the whole thread  and your last post.
The last thing I want between my husband and me is uncles and aunts who tell me what I have to do in my house.
I would move out also or better kick these people out. Seriously!
I guess now the "picture" of Wayne marriage is complete.

[groovlstk]

 I guess now the "picture" of Wayne marriage is complete.

You already had a "picture" of Wayne's marriage in your mind from the minute he posted about his problems, and since then have worked furiously to rearrange his story to fit that picture - like gluing the pieces of a broken mirror back together to reflect some warped version of reality.

FWIW, new guys should take this to heart: If your wife marries you for the wrong reasons, you will not get the slightest ounce of sympathy or understanding from her Russian friends. Some will avoid getting close to you, knowing the guillotine is descending towards your unsuspecting neck. Some will have nothing but contempt for you due to your foolishness and believe you deserve your cruel fate. Some will simply fall in along patriotic lines. Regardless, you're screwed if you expect compassion or understanding.