Wife split!

[Maxx2]

Wayne,

Then ask her just one question... 'What do you want?'..

Nothing more, nothing less..

She could say that Wayne called her and made terroristic threats and have the phone records to prove he called. It is best that he keeps a wide distance from her and have alibi witness(es) with him at all times. Men in his position cannot act in the ways other men act when their marriage breaks with their non-foreign wife. Even then one needs to be careful.

Here is a letter I got from a guy

At one point in this mess, my emails from work were supeanoed, which they found nothing...but it caused me a lot of embarrasment at my job. Already I have to deal with the 200 guests at my wedding two years ago and explain what really happened in our marriage... it is not too pleaseant knowing they "told you so" remarks....
Though I thought they were going to sentence her last week, the judge dismmissed the case. Im still in Civil Court and hopefully justice will prevail regarding her actions.
This is a copy of an email, unedited, which I brought to the DA. I would never had known this woman would do this.

"Hi Michael,
it nice to see you again for real online, nice try. You like my profile here! I just date doctors and lawyers now. Did your phone #change? YOu very stupid man now. Im sorry I and galina did all thos bad things in court. it is impossible for me to survive in USA, this town is too booring, and with the money you gave me from court and the money you owe me soon is not enough for me to survive. Crule and unhumantraetment!! how dare you. I want more! If you dont give me more money i will again set you up with more abuse charges and this time you will go to jail for sure. If you go to police this time again I will really have your house burned down, and kill you and your family. The garage damge is just the beginning. You know Galina and I can have this done, we have many russian friends who will do this and have. I married you only for a green card as Nina has said. you always knew it. it is your fault you left marriage earlier, saw that lawyer and told me you want divorce. All i wanted was a greencard at two years and I none of this would of happened. money was ok too. You a dirty, ugly man. The dumb jewish judge will always protect me and woman in this country. not like ukraine I did want the house, you got lucky. It is so easy for Galina and I, friends of my at work to set you up again. Just one phone call-one hit in the leg again. I want 10,000 dollars now, even the divorce judge we had told you to give me that. I then will forever leave alone. Also, send me my transcripts. as you know, had to break to get in. sorry i needed wedding pictures for ins. I thank you for not writing Ins, or about the plan for my mother to marry a man here. Mother was correct, men are goats, but they will do anything for sex! my direct e-mail is ****@netzero.com. sorry michael.

Maxx 

[Makkin]

 Hook up with Maxx quickly and best of luck.

Makkin

[kievstar]

Sorry to hear this.  You need to hire detective to follow your wife and find out who her boyfriend is.  More evidence you have on them will help.  And get a nasty attorney.

[BC]

She could say that Wayne called her and made terroristic threats and have the phone records to prove he called. It is best that he keeps a wide distance from her and have alibi witness(es) with him at all times. Men in his position cannot act in the ways other men act when their marriage breaks with their non-foreign wife. Even then one needs to be careful.

Yeah sick Bush on him.. after all DHS covers terrorists too..

But heck... if she's back in the house there ain't that awful much that can (or should be done) about it except for heading for the local motel6.. or is it 9 nowdays.. a live in lawyer ain't affordable for most.

Even heading for the motel brings thoughts of abandonment to mind.

yeah is a bad spot to be in for sure.. like squished between rock and another hard place.

[Doll]

I seen it coming. I was thinking that she would move some of her things back in. Live there a while with Wayne. Say that they made up. And then in a week or two overturn some furniture, scratch her arms, pull her hair, slam her face into a wall and wait for Wayne to come home from work. Then dial 911 as he enters the door.

You're sick, Maxx! Just let people make up!
You know my story- my son and I got through shelter and guess what- it has been 5 years since then and we are still married.
Wayne! Give her ans yourself a second chance.

[Maxx2]

You're sick, Maxx! Just let people make up!
You know my story- my son and I got through shelter and guess what- it has been 5 years since then and we are still married.
Wayne! Give her ans yourself a second chance.

Perhaps Wayne can have her boyfriend move in with them and split the house payment with him? Yours is a rare exception Doll.


Maxx 

[BC]

Perhaps Wayne can have her boyfriend move in with them and split the house payment with him? Yours is a rare exception Doll.


Maxx 

Well I've heard of even more weird circumstances.. just goes to show that there are so many variables no one except those involved will have a chance in hell to figure things out.

Maxx, there is no 'cure' to such situations.. that's a weighted battle you've been fighting quite a while now.  Think more along the lines of prevention.. The horror stories are great deterrents, but they might not help as much as you think when it's already too late.

[Maxx2]

Even heading for the motel brings thoughts of abandonment to mind.

I wouldn't worry about that. Having a process server serve her at his house and then staying away from her is best. Any claims of abuse by her will look like she did this for retaliation. When my situation happened my Russian ex wife fled from the process server and had her lawyer stress she never knew I filed for the divorce. This was repeated several times in court. There must have been a good reason why this was done. Perhaps William3rd can comment on this?

Maxx

[Maxx2]

Well I've heard of even more weird circumstances.. just goes to show that there are so many variables no one except those involved will have a chance in hell to figure things out.

Maxx, there is no 'cure' to such situations.. that's a weighted battle you've been fighting quite a while now.  Think more along the lines of prevention.. The horror stories are great deterrents, but they might not help as much as you think when it's already too late.

Yes there is no way a guy in Wayne's circumstances is going to get through this without damage and pain. However he could learn a few things from others and from that figure a way to keep from getting locked up. Wayne strikes me as a very nice man and that kind gets hurt very very badly if the full treatment happens to them.


Maxx   

[Doll]

Perhaps Wayne can have her boyfriend move in with them and split the house payment with him? Yours is a rare exception Doll.


Maxx 

Perhaps you finally understand that there are his truth, her truth and THE truth.
Nobody knows for sure what happened and if there is any boyfriend at all.
Even though people can make up. Give me a break!
She definitely has her reasons. Are you aware of them, Maxx? I am not, neither is any of you except Wayne.
The wife is back and let them settle!

[Doll]

Yours is a rare exception Doll.

It is  NOT! Things happen in any marriage.

[Doll]

Yes there is no way a guy in Wayne's circumstances is going to get through this without damage and pain.

Yes , there is. And BC agrees with me.
Maxx, again- the fact that you got divorced 5 years ago doesn't mean all the couples should go this way.
Wayne, chill down, give your marriage a second chance.

[Maxx2]

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Wayne, the Russian women at times like this are like the Germans in this clip. Follow the orders of the Captain, your immigration/divorce attorney and you probably get through this horrible time. Expose yourself and you will probably get "shot". Keep you head down and keep moving forward.


Maxx

[Misha]

Wayne, chill down, give your marriage a second chance.

Well, that presumes of course that there was truly a marriage in the true sense to begin with.

[Doll]

You're sick, Maxx.

[Doll]

Well, that presumes of course that there was truly a marriage in the true sense to begin with.

It probably does.
Guys has any of you asked Wayne what happened in his marriage?
Did he say the whole or half of truth? No.

[Maxx2]

Wife admits she has a boyfriend and moved in with him.  I wondered how she was getting all the expensive new clothes.  Tells me her immigration lawyer says she has to live with me for the green card issue.  Says she is moving back in. 

No sex since the wedding night.  Wife? moved into seperate bedroom.  Believe this was planned all along. She doesn't clean, cook or do laundry for me.  House was never so dirty before.  Lets her dog mess all over the house and does not clean it up. 

Any ideas?  Help!

Just a review for those who want Wayne to give his marriage a second chance.


Maxx

[Vaughn]

Doll,

  She moved back in unannounced - this is NOT a good way to start (nor is it
indicative of) a reconciliation.....  it smacks of an unspoken agenda.

  Feel flattered that yours IS an exceptional situation. Right now, I sense that
Wayne needs a good lawyer without further delay.

Vaughn

[Gator]

Wayne,

It has been over two days since you first posted.  Your subsequent posts suggest that you have not yet spoken with an attorney.  Is that true?

It also seems that you are feeling sorry for yourself.  Of course, you feel awful - any man would.  But feeling sorry is not the answer.  Protect yourself NOW, so see your attorney ASAP.

Now that she has moved back in, get out of the house.  Go live with your son, friend or whatever.  Don't meet her nor talk with her.   

Also, don't bother yourself with whether she stays in the country or not.  You let her in the country, but you can not send her back.  Any attempt at that is vindictive and would constitute abuse.  You need to concentrate on getting her out of your life ASAP, not trying to make her life difficult.  Accomplishing that will make you feel better about yourself.

[Doll]

Just a review for those who want Wayne to give his marriage a second chance.

I read and understood it but don't recommend Wayne rush to the attorney and file for divorce. He has nothing to loose except for the car which is maybe a MARITAL property and parked by the house right now.There is nothing else to split except for his debts.

[Doll]

Protect yourself NOW, so see your attorney ASAP.

Boys, who can explain me in a plain English what Wayne has to protect himself from? Somebody threatens him? He has lots of money to loose? House?
No, no and no.

[Doll]

She moved back in unannounced - this is NOT a good way to start

It is her family house, come on! Announce how? "May I please come home?"

[LEGAL]

Wayne you have been given good advice by many members that are trying to help you,if you do not listen it will be to your detriment. The ball is in your court.

I would also file a restraining order before she does!

Wayne,

Protect yourself NOW, so see your attorney ASAP.

Now that she has moved back in, get out of the house.  Go live with your son, friend or whatever.  Don't meet her nor talk with her.  

  You need to concentrate on getting her out of your life ASAP, not trying to make her life difficult.  Accomplishing that will make you feel better about yourself.

[Misha]

He has nothing to loose

How about losing dignity and self-respect? I don't quite understand what you are recommending. That he should go back and say "yes, I will live with you for two years so you can get get your green card without too much hassle, and yes I don't mind if you have the occasional boyfriend on the side"?

[Mishenka]

I'm sorry guys, so many things here don't make sense here. Wayne, why did you marry this woman?  This is a good example of why USCIS gives you a 90 day K1 visa.   We have a marriage with no sex from day two,  it continues this way for 6 or 7 months? How many of us would stay in a marriage with a woman for this long with no affection? No way. I don't understand why there was a wedding.  Anyone else have a problem with this?

After a spat 2 days earlier, Wayne comes home to find wife and daughter's things packed up and gone, Daughter is still attending school. Then 2 days later she is already moving back in because her immigration lawyer says "she has to live with Wayne to get temporary green card issued" you guys all tell me in your posts the GC is coming in the MAIL to her address in her name only, what difference would it make where she lives when she can forward her mail.  USCIS agents don't hand deliver, they sure wouldn't know any differently.  Do the words "Do not forward" appear anywhere on that envelope? She applied, she gets it. OK, her "lawyer" comment makes no sense. Red flag? One more question, since this is only a 2 year GC, and not permanent residence. How can she get her permanent resident card, 10 year GC without being married to Wayne?

Wife says she has moved in with boyfriend?  What new boyfriend, is going to let his new RW girl friend move back in with husband she just left 2 days ago for him?  Is there really a new BF? Wayne says credit cards were charged to the hilt, why wonder where the new clothes were coming from, just look at the statements. Was she hiding your mail from you? Do you have the CC statements? Red flag.
Why was taking the computer and modem so important to her?  Does she have an internet business going? Time to check the files, emails, history, bank statements and see.

Thanks to Groov, Kuna, Maxx, WilliamIII and others for educational posts.  This will make a lot of us think long and hard about making sure we really know our woman well before marriage. I'm taking my sweet time with Galina, a year later still together and learning about each other. It took her brother 3 years after being chosen in the DV lotto to get his family green cards, this is why I was so surprised people are getting them in hand in 6 months time. Especially after closing Houston TX office and back logs. They have also began to limit the number of all visa's starting in 2009.  Check it out.
Mishenka