Wife split!

[Vaughn]

Boys, who can explain me in a plain English what Wayne has to protect himself from?

In plain English - a criminal record. That will be a permanent part of his resume.
The dignity and self-respect are recoverable, the clean record is not...

It is her family house, come on!

So it's OK that she waltzes off with a boyfriend - and returns when it's
convenient, without even a discussion? Doll, I believe you've got a good
heart, and that you want a happy ending here. The chances are slim...

Don't think I'm a stranger to forgiveness, I am not. But when a spouse
breaks trust as she did, a quick unexplained reentry into his life is quite
laughable. Now that I really think about it, it's completely absurd.

КАК ЕЙ НЕ СТИДНО ??

Announce how? "May I please come home?"

That would be good for starters. Reviewing Wayne's statements, I'd say these
two should have nothing less than a series of very serious conversations before
they MUTUALLY decide to live together. If ever again.

Her post-wedding behavior indicates she was after one thing - the Green Card.

[William3rd]

Just a review for those who want Wayne to give his marriage a second chance.


Maxx

Why are you letting her back in? Is there something I am missing? Lock the door. . . . go for the annulment. Fraud is vitiated if you let her back in after you have knowledge. And you have the knowledge.

[Mishenka]

Why are you letting her back in? Is there something I am missing? Lock the door. . . . go for the annulment. Fraud is vitiated if you let her back in after you have knowledge. And you have the knowledge.

Wayne posted that his wife came back, found the new deadbolt on the door and called the sherriff and removed the deadbolt when his son was there.

hummmm,, she's baaaack. probably has already made a written statement to the police regarding a fight to claim abuse and get a restraining order in the near future.

[BC]

Yes , there is. And BC agrees with me.
Maxx, again- the fact that you got divorced 5 years ago doesn't mean all the couples should go this way.
Wayne, chill down, give your marriage a second chance.

Doll,

I agree with you that there are alternatives to what Maxx proposes..  Maxx is one edge and you are at the other edge of opinion - and that's just fine.

There is just soo much that we can't see that any good path or 'Truth' is almost impossible to determine with any accuracy.

Lawyers are funny people.. they really (should) have the ability to cut through the BS and get to the meat of the matter..  That's why I suggested that they both get legal advisors, sit down at one table and talk it out from there.

If a green card is what she's after, then they can work it out.. and I believe in a manner that does not necessitate her filing domestic abuse claims even if justified.  This though, can only happen if he does not take the path of actively trying to force her out of the country which will almost certainly result in such claims.  OTOH he is of very little use to her in jail.. especially if he is in debt and has no substantial property - that car will get repossessed rather quickly..  They are both on a tightrope, but there is a balance point somewhere that needs to be found. That can be done with good professional arbitration outside the courtroom.

Once they really start throwing stones and legal books at each other it's over and the courts will decide.

[topofthekey]

Wayne is really just seeming like a guy who is too nice to take some basic protections for himself and move on with his life. I just read this thread and am speechless. GTF out of there man. If she hasn't already (i notice you havent posted in awhile) she is going to chew you up and spit you out.

At least your willing to admit you screwed up and picked the wrong chick. I feel sorry for you... and her kid for that matter.

Have a friend follow the daughter home from school so you know where your car is. I'd literally take everything out of your house and put it in storage. I'd probably even live in one of those weekly motels until you get everything taken care of.

But no excuses man! You don't want to end up being labeled an abuser and you also don't want a relationship with a women who is sleeping around and then throwing it in your face. Screw sleeping around... she isn't even sleeping with you.

Get PISSED OFF! Do something! Follow the advice of those that have been in your shoes. No more excuses!!!

Cancel credit cards. Close bank accounts and move things around. Keep the money you got safe. Keep your things safe. Stay away from her. Yea my post makes me sound like an a hole, but you need a friend taunting the crap out of you until you step up and handle this.

Two can play the game. Put a for sale sign in your front yard. Move out all the furniture and then put a sold sticker on the for sale sign. Two can play the game.

[Doll]

In plain English - a criminal record.

In a plain English- what are you talking about?

[Doll]

Don't think I'm a stranger to forgiveness, I am not. But when a spouse
breaks trust as she did, a quick unexplained reentry into his life is quite
laughable. Now that I really think about it, it's completely absurd.

It is absurd- Wayne didn't tell us the whole story, that's why these parts doesn't make sense.
I don't think there is any bf at all.

[topofthekey]

It is absurd- Wayne didn't tell us the whole story, that's why these parts doesn't make sense.
I don't think there is any bf at all.

if she's a green card shark, out for money, or to screw Wayne it makes perfect sense. Not everyone is apparently in it for true love such as yourself. The guy posted for some help. I'd cut him some slack. I'd assume his call for help and advice is legit. Don't know all the facts but it sounds like his wife is stepping out.

[Doll]

Long ago my husband also listened to the lawyer and changed the locks.
It only made things worse for him. Could make.
Wayne tried to lock his wife and the kid out of their place of residence which IS an abuse. So somebody's advise could serve him bad. I think it  already did as she had to have the cop with her.
You need to be very careful when you follow this kind of advises.

[Turboguy]

I can agree with Doll that taking the wrong actions could make things worse.  The more you push someone into a corner the more desperate they are to get out.   The ideal solution would be to try to work out a win-win solution and get everyone what they want but I have to agree with Maxx that there is risk in that.

We are hearing one side of the story and it is too bad there is not a good friend who could listen to both sides of the story and try to mediate a happy solution.  In the meantime I think Wayne does need to protect himself but that should be more staying far away from her, not worrying about the possessions right now and being careful not to make the situation worse.

I have to wonder if the boyfriend is a proven fact or speculation.   I question a bit if she was hot and heavy with another guy if she would be moving back in.

[Ade]

I have to wonder if the boyfriend is a proven fact or speculation.   I question a bit if she was hot and heavy with another guy if she would be moving back in

Unless the other guy cut her free when he wasn't getting a free poke and had to support her too...

[Doll]

I have to wonder if the boyfriend is a proven fact or speculation.

Speculation or anger.

[Doll]

By the way ( it is simple to understand) being locked out with the child IS the shortest way for DVC and shelter. Did you guys think about it when you recommended it to Wayne? No, you didn't. Keep going.
Next smart advise would be taking a car from her. Just keep going.

[BC]

Why are you letting her back in? Is there something I am missing? Lock the door. . . . go for the annulment. Fraud is vitiated if you let her back in after you have knowledge. And you have the knowledge.

William,

Wouldn't the amount of time that he was obviously aware something was very very wrong - even fraudulent , basically since the wedding night, cloud any attempts now, many months later to lock her out or take even more drastic measures like topofthekey would like to see?  I think it could be hypothesized that the man was supporting or even instigated fraud (if he raises fraud issues) and simply got fed up with her at a later point in time.

Crying 'wolf' now seems a bit counterproductive.

When she returned (with an officer) and his son opened the new lock and let her back in, I'm sure some words were passed between the two parties and officer.. I wonder what they were.

[BC]

By the way ( it is simple to understand) being locked out with the child IS the shortest way for DVC and shelter. Did you guys think about it when you recommended it to Wayne? No, you didn't. Keep going.
Next smart advise would be taking a car from her. Just keep going.

Yeah, denying transportation and basic necessities, for whatever reason just does not seem right.

Immigrant mother and child thrown on the street.. good headlines for the local paper.

[Doll]

And there is already a police record just because he changed the locks.
Now take the car, stop  buying food and you are done.
Are you with me? Meaning are you following me?
Wayne , talk to her.

[William3rd]

Which is why one moves immediately from the departure-separation- to a court filing for the annulment. "My immigration attorney says I have to stay with you to lock in the green card."

If the court orders her out of YOUR home, then she can cry at the shelter all she wants. Depends in part on your state.

Fraud doesnt flow to him if she has committed it but fraud can be "forgiven" by continuing a relationship after the knowledge.

As far as "negotiating" with a green card girl, why not just negotiate with terrorists while you are at it?

Have your lawyer talk to her. You should not be in the same house or room with her without a witness present. This person is evil. She would not come back to you unless her case was somehow flawed. When she has what she wants, she will leave again.

[Doll]

Again and again- there must be a VERY serious reason for the wife to do what she is doing. This reason is her husband unless she is totally stupid which I doubt.You need to admit it guys. She is not AW (father-mother-sisters-brothers here), she has no place to go and she has a kid.

[Doll]

Which is why one moves immediately from the departure-separation- to a court filing for the annulment.

Forget it! Nobody made him marry her, nobody made him file her GC papers.
He will loose it and money.

[Doll]

Have your lawyer talk to her.

Lawyers should talk to lawyers and only.
It is another bad advise, Willy.

[William3rd]

But she tagged our guy with a green card and immediately found a boyfriend from her own country. And now wipes her feet on the husband, now doormat. . .

Thank you for your legal opinion. Do you counsel or assist other green card girls or is this your first one?

[Kuna]

there must be a VERY serious reason for the wife to do what she is doing.

Some RW (and/or some AW) are just bad to the bone...  of course some russian women want us to believe RW are all perfect - but we know that is pure BS. 

[GoodOlBoy]

Wayne, sorry to hear about your troubles. Get a lawyer. Get away from her NOW!! Move out. You are going to find yourself sitting in a jail cell. Charged with some trumped up crime by her or her daughter. Remember blood is thicker than a stepfather! BTW, did the daughter move back in? If not, where is she?

[BC]

But she tagged our guy with a green card and immediately found a boyfriend from her own country. And now wipes her feet on the husband, now doormat. . .

Might well be the case.. even more cause for due diligence before that K1 gets filed.

I don't think it's the role of the government to protect it's citizens bad choices..  They probably even encourage big financial hits on guys since the word will eventually get around and act as a deterrent.

Guess in old times they would both be burned at the stake.. the woman for being a witch and the man for importing her.  -Her 'spell' obviously worked.

[topofthekey]

But she tagged our guy with a green card and immediately found a boyfriend from her own country. And now wipes her feet on the husband, now doormat. . .

Thank you for your legal opinion. Do you counsel or assist other green card girls or is this your first one?

Exactly this is what I don't get!! If you live with her you in all likelihood end up being accused of abusing her or worse things. If you don't allow her back in your house after she moved in with another guy...then you are the bad guy who is again being an abuser.

That is just a no win situaton. Exactly why I'd move everything out of the place and throw it in storage and chill out in a motel. But going as far as saying reclaiming a car thats in your name is abuse is nuts. Absolutely nuts. If you want to avoid this don't step out on your man. Don't go live with some other guy. Then figure out you actually have to live with a guy you hate to get your green card. I don't know Doll's personal situation but damn this situation just isn't right.