Wife split!

[Turboguy]

Doll,

What's your agenda here???  From what you've said in this thread it seems you overtly support (and possibly advise) women who have fraudulently entered a marriage.

Am I understanding that correctly?

I get the feeling you harbour that "sometimes common Russian trait" of thinking a man deserves whatever he gets if he can't avoid it or fix it.

Doll, you need to understand that our goal here is to overtly support and possibly advise men whose women fraudulently entered into a marriage, or who found a life they did not expect when they arrived after a whirlwind romance (romance????)

Hopefully you understand that correctly?

I am sure you get the feeling the sometimes American trait of thinking a woman deserves whatever she gets if he can't avoid it or fix it.  
 

If he can do an annulment that would save him any financial burden and end any chance of her staying since it basically is the same as the marriage never existing.  It would be the cheap, fast and easy way of giving her the shaft.  

We all have few facts to go on an all of us are making a lot of assumptions.  Maxx and William are assuming she is an evil GCG who used Wayne as her mule, had her boyfriend before ever coming to American and planned this all in advance.  Doll is assuming she had good intentions but was disappointed in her life here and with Wayne and is trying to salvage what she can.   I sort of suspect that Wayne did not do a satisfactory job of revealing his life and finances before doing the K-1.  The thing that keeps me leaning her way a bit is that she has not filed domestic abuse charges YET.   If that happened it could easily swing me over to the other camp.  

[Doll]

A little over a week ago, she got angry again, started an arguement.  Actually, it was all her anger.  Next day, came home from work, found wife and step-daughter gone, everything packed up and gone.  I called school Monday morning.  Step-daughter was in school.  Wife has old girl friends in many different states who came on K-1's.  Thought she may have gone to stay with one of them, but not. 

   Many debts ran up because wife likes to buy things and has expensive tastes.

  

 

Angry AGAIN at what?
Expensive tastes- like what? What do you consider expensive?

[Doll]

If he can do an annulment that would save him any financial burden and end any chance of her staying since it basically is the same as the marriage never existing.  It would be the cheap, fast and easy way of giving her the shaft.

I do understand his intentions, just think that she also understands that annulment is her ticket out and she will fight.She will fight no matter what which is not saving money, no way. They need the agreement.
Or- OK- let him go for annulment and then watch.
( as for the the goal of this forum- it is called "Discussion forum" which is exactly what we are doing)

[Doll]

If that happened it could easily swing me over to the other camp. 

It will happen if he goes for the annulment. She will have NO CHOICE. Do you understand how a person can act if this person has no choices? This person will have to "get through the wall" (the wall will have to be ruined)

[William3rd]

Let's all let economy dictate whether a green card tramp gets to stay. . .  gives new meaning to "caveat emptor."

Unfortunately, the signs were probably there from the first day. . .

[Maxx2]

 Maxx and William are assuming she is an evil GCG who used Wayne as her mule, had her boyfriend before ever coming to American and planned this all in advance.  

If you exaggerate people's positions by making stuff up no wonder you get things wrong.

Turboguy, she waited until the day AFTER they got married to cut him off and move into another bedroom. If you can't see that that makes her a certified Green Card Girl there is no hope for you.


Maxx

[William3rd]

If you exaggerate people's positions by making stuff up no wonder you get things wrong.

Turboguy, she waited until the day AFTER they got married to cut him off and move into another bedroom. If you can't see that that makes her a certified Green Card Girl there is no hope for you.


Maxx

Hey Turbo- How about supporting Scott Peterson while you are at it? Surely you can find something that Stacy and Conner did to warrant being murdered. Hey, maybe ya can talk about the fishing alibi. . . .

Charles Manson? Got some insight on that one for the crowd. . . . Stalin? got some apologies for him, too?

The initial facts posted here show the likelihood of a criminal act. The cheerleaders are giving advice that is completely wrongheaded. If this board is for people seeking answers to certain questions, many of the postings on this  particular thread do a tremendous disservice to those seekers.

[Gator]

Turboguy, she waited until the day AFTER they got married to cut him off and move into another bedroom. If you can't see that that makes her a certified Green Card Girl there is no hope for you.

If so, why did Wayne prepare the AOS application? 

[topofthekey]

HEADS

Wait until he leaves then hit yourself with something so you have cuts and bruises, then call the police and file charges against him.   It is very important to go to a woman's shelter and make sure there is documentation.  Hoard as much cash as you can, get his credit cards.  Perhaps find another place and move all his furniture there while he is at work.   Get a very good divorce and immigration attorney.  He will have to pay for it anyway.  Etc.

TAILS

Change the locks on the door.  File for divorce before she can.  Get a restraining order on her.  Take all of the money out of the checking account and freeze all the credit cards.  Watch and try to get the car when she is not around.  Move all the furniture out of the house.  Hire a private detective.  Send any photos and info about her unfaithfullness to immigration.   Etc.

HEADS

The kind of evil advice those green card whores pass out on Anti-date.  How to really screw the guy and make sure you get your green card.  Whatever you have to do is OK if it gets you your green card and you don't have to put up with that jerk.

TAILS

The kind of advice the wise and caring guys on RWD post to protect our poor guys from the abuse of those evil women.  We are experienced in the undeserved evil things these women can do to their loving husbands and need to help them protect themselves and to deal wisely with the problems they are likely to encounter.

===========================================

OK, I am posting this a little tongue in cheek but I do often hear about the evil things women on Anti-date tell FSU women to do and I do have to wonder if we are much better. 

I really think some communication and marriage counselling might help in this case and I am not saying he should not protect himself. 

earlier you said it was a bad idea when i suggested wayne get his car back. move out and some of the other things I suggested. The best advice I've read here over and over is to go seek legal counsel. But 2nd to that I have to say it would be to personally make sure you never go near her. Hopefully everyone will agree with that??? Just stay far far away until this all is resolved

[topofthekey]

Daughter goes with mom.  I have stayed away, so I do not know if they are actually living at my house.  The room with the computer is where wife slept.  Wife took the computer that was there away, so I set up and old one, mainly so my vontage phone would work. I would be dumb for me to use a computer that she has access to.

I put a lock set on my bedroom door and moved some things in there.  I don't think whe will take or destroy my things, but if she does, I will report it to the police and insurance agency.

I might go back to the house to see what's up, but not alone.

The other day, I did not see that they brought much back into the house.  Whatever it was, it must be locked up in that room.

Well this is Wayne's last post from yesterday. It reads like he moved out of his house and locked his stuff up in his bedroom. It sounds like his wife already took his new computer when she left the first time. My only thoughts are why go back to the house to figure out whats going on. Why not just let your son or a friend check it out?

I think its great you are staying away from her 100% of the time. Now that she can't locate you or lure you to your house... what are you doing to get this taken care of and behind you so you can move back into your home and move on with your life?

[Turboguy]

If you exaggerate people's positions by making stuff up no wonder you get things wrong.

Turboguy, she waited until the day AFTER they got married to cut him off and move into another bedroom. If you can't see that that makes her a certified Green Card Girl there is no hope for you.
Maxx

Frankly Maxx, I think we are all reading a bunch of things into this that we don't know for facts.   There are a lot of gaps in the story yet that may or may not come out in time. 

Gator,  Good Point.   I wonder about that as well.

Hey Turbo- How about supporting Scott Peterson while you are at it? Surely you can find something that Stacy and Conner did to warrant being murdered. Hey, maybe ya can talk about the fishing alibi. . . .

 
William,  I think you are going a little off the deep end here.  I can't quite equate someone who moves out of her home because she isn't happy or has other plans to killing your pregnant wife on Christmas.  If you tell me that it is the same to you then I am going to start worrying about you.

earlier you said it was a bad idea when i suggested Wayne get his car back. move out and some of the other things I suggested. The best advice I've read here over and over is to go seek legal counsel. But 2nd to that I have to say it would be to personally make sure you never go near her. Hopefully everyone will agree with that??? Just stay far far away until this all is resolved

Yes, I did and I still think getting the car back at this time would be a bad move.  I do agree that getting the best legal council he can and staying away are two very wise moves.   I think it would be a mistake to aggravate her and could drive her to a step that could be very harmful.  A car is a chunk of iron with tires.  It is not worth going to jail on spousal abuse charges over.

The initial facts posted here show the likelihood of a criminal act. The cheerleaders are giving advice that is completely wrongheaded. If this board is for people seeking answers to certain questions, many of the postings on this  particular thread do a tremendous disservice to those seekers.

The facts are we don't have all the facts William.  As Doll pointed out, this is a discussion forum where we all share our ideas.  This is America William.  We are all entitled to our opinion and have a right to express them.  My opinion is that he should stay as far away from her as he can, get the best legal council he can and not aggravate the situation.  Is that really a bad opinion?  I do think if there is a way to communicate without putting himself at risk it would be a good step.  I am not saying map out a plan for visa fraud but rather to see if working together might give some hopes for the marriage or if not then the dissolution of the marriage in an amicable way.

Going on to the Annulment issue it is not an area I know much about BUT, I do think that with the exception of some unusual cases it takes the signature of both to get an annulment.  Based on the fact that she is not likely to agree to that it may not be a viable choice. 

[Maxx2]

In Wayne's description of his marital and divorce history I got a pretty good idea of the kind of guy that I think he is. He married a woman from Russia for not only a having a wife but having a family. He was very kind to her daughter as the daughter had kept mementos of his and her mother's marriage. She honored the marriage but her mother did not.  

Now the nature of most men myself included is not a flip of a switch and the turning off of the love. Love for most men takes a while to turn off. During this time a guy will do everything he can to win his woman back *. He will try and talk with her. He will show her he will put her needs first. He will buy her a good car while he drives the old one, give her a new laptop while he makes due with the model several years old, buy her as much clothes as he can afford and yes even file the AOS for her. These times are very confusing for him. He goes kind of nuts. Some like me wake up in the first month, do not go to deep and start to take action. Others let months and a few years go by. Perhaps this is his last chance at getting what he wanted, a loving family? He emptied himself for her, went into debt and 'shot his wad'. But in the end the wife is out the door and off to her new life while the husband is left with his pockets left hanging out. Game over for him.    

It should end there but it doesn't. The hurt of being used goes deep. This is exacerbated by an indifferent INS and a bunch of 'I told you so' friends and family. The later think all Russians are cheaters and thieves. Should he think that? Easy to do if everyone in the Russian community and every Russian woman on these boards is on the side of these women. Well a word to Wayne from Maxx here. There are many Russian women who despise and hate the actions of these women. I know because I have been contacted by many of them. They know how some of their sisters are.


   
* Percy Sledge - When A Man Loves A Woman Lyrics

When a man loves a woman,
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else,
He'd change the world for the good thing he's found.
If she is bad, he can't see it,
She can do no wrong,
Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.
When a man loves a woman,
He'll spend his very last dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he needs.
He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain,
If she said that's the way
It ought to be.
Well, this man loves you, woman.
I gave you everything I have,
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love.
Baby, please don't treat me bad.
When a man loves a woman,
Down deep in his soul,
She can bring him such misery.
If she is playin' him for a fool,
He's the last one to know.
Lovin' eyes can never see.
When a man loves a woman
he can do her no wrong,
he can never want
some other girl.
Yes,When a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels,
'Cause baby, baby, you're my world
When a man loves a woman....

 

[Maxx2]

If so, why did Wayne prepare the AOS application? 

I explained above. Guys get like Percy at times like these. They think somehow they can change things with enough effort and giving. They think there must be a misunderstanding. You guys think the exact same way about Wayne's wife. Those of us who have been through this like William and I do not delude ourselves. We know exactly what kind of woman she is.



Maxx

[Maxx2]

Frankly Maxx, I think we are all reading a bunch of things into this that we don't know for facts. 

We go on the facts we are given. We accept the fact VWRW is a real woman and has good intentions towards you because you tell us certain "facts". You however mush everything in regard to Wayne's situation and do not accept his "facts".


Maxx   

[Jack]

We go on the facts we are given.

That's all we can do, yet some want to create their own facts it seems.

The cheerleaders are giving advice that is completely wrongheaded. If this board is for people seeking answers to certain questions, many of the postings on this  particular thread do a tremendous disservice to those seekers.

William, I agree with your statement, but then I must ask, "so what's new?"

We have a member who has told us his side of the story, he has asked for help.
Yes, we only have one side of this story but for some, they want to add their own creative touch so that they can validate their position. We don't have, or should not have, the right to say with the information the member has provided us,  "I think he is lying", "I think she does not have a boyfriend". 

We can only go by the information this member has told us in his plea for help and advice.

Next day, came home from work, found wife and step-daughter gone, everything packed up and gone. 

Wife took new car that is in my name; computer, cable modem, etc. 

Many debts ran up because wife likes to buy things

Wife admits she has a boyfriend and moved in with him.  I wondered how she was getting all the expensive new clothes. 

Tells me her immigration lawyer says she has to live with me for the green card issue.  Says she is moving back in. 

My Son is staying with me for moral support.  Wife came into the house yesterday.  Told Son that he cannot stay. 

She doesn't clean, cook or do laundry for me.

Wife put a lock on the room where the computer is located. 

Wife? moved into seperate bedroom. 

No sex since the wedding night. 

Any ideas?  Help!

Let's see, the day after wedding, no sex, she moves into her own room.  Doesn't work, doesn't do house work, but somehow is getting nice new clothes.  She packs her bag's and leaves the house only to return later and tell him she has a boyfriend but in order to get green card must continue to live with him.

Any ideas, any help we can offer? 

Wayne! Give her and yourself a second chance.

Wayne, chill down, give your marriage a second chance.

Wayne , talk to her.

I don't think there is any bf at all.

You're sick, Maxx!

You're sick, Maxx.)

Have your lawyer talk to her.

It is another bad advise, Willy.

Their is a very good reason for a woman on a K-1 with child to leave this man,  it's called love!! 

Only Americans can say that!

I think he is not telling the truth.

Doll, I don't think he is lying

Show me where I said he was.

Speaking of sex- nobody has to have it in marriage.)

? what?

[Turboguy]

I have to go home for lunch soon and don't have a lot of time now.  I will post my view of the facts later when I get back.

Right now the facts seem to be:

That Wayne is a really nice guy who tried to make things work.  That he does not have a lot of financial success at this time.  

The she married him and ended sex after the wedding and moved out.  We know that as far as he knows at this point in time she has not filed domestic abuse charges against him.

What we don't know much about is her.  We don't know if she is a vindictive bitch who is going to screw him far more in the legal system than she ever did in the bed or if she is a pretty good person who is unhappy in her marriage but doesn't really want to hurt Wayne because she knows he is a good person.  

There are still a lot of facts that we don't know.  I just don't advocate launching full scale war on her until he knows if her bombers are targeting Pearl Harbor as we write.

Jack, I think you made some good points in your post.  I think too there are enough facts we don't know that there is no sense re-writing history on the few facts we do have. 

[vwrw]

We go on the facts we are given.

Wayne said:

I do not want people to think that wife is such a terrible person.

If you go by the “facts” that Wayne tells us then why do you ignore that part of the facts?

[William3rd]

The GCG HO told the man's son that he couldnt stay in his own house?!?!?!?!? Doesnt want a witness, perhaps? And he still lets her stay in his home?!?!?!?!


I missed that post.

[Doll]

? what?

What you've read

[William3rd]

Going on to the Annulment issue it is not an area I know much about BUT, I do think that with the exception of some unusual cases it takes the signature of both to get an annulment.  Based on the fact that she is not likely to agree to that it may not be a viable choice. 

You havent the slightest idea what you are talking about, cheerleader. Clearly, you do not think at all.

If you can read, read Marriage of Rabie. Run a search. It pops right up. It should make very clear to you that on this thread, you should just STFU.

[Mishenka]

It's sad to read this thread. Sad that for Wayne, this marriage was over before it started. No, we don't know the details. We know nothing as it really is.  I agree with maxx & Percy Sledge, and the many others who sing this song "When a man loves a woman" "She can do no wrong"  When a man loves a woman, he will do anything to save his relationship. He is blind to her faults, blind to reality. He is living in a dream, a fantasy.  In this case it would take hours to unravel all the details to give the best council. I hope by now Wayne has found a good attorney.

Mishenka

[Doll]

The GCG HO told the man's son that he couldnt stay in his own house?!?!?!?!? Doesnt want a witness, perhaps? And he still lets her stay in his home?!?!?!?!


 

I don't understand what you don't understand.

[Faux Pas]

I have to go home for lunch soon and don't have a lot of time now.  I will post my view of the facts later when I get back.

Right now the facts seem to be:

That Wayne is a really nice guy who tried to make things work.  That he does not have a lot of financial success at this time.  

The she married him and ended sex after the wedding and moved out.  We know that as far as he knows at this point in time she has not filed domestic abuse charges against him.

What we don't know much about is her.  We don't know if she is a vindictive bitch who is going to screw him far more in the legal system than she ever did in the bed or if she is a pretty good person who is unhappy in her marriage but doesn't really want to hurt Wayne because she knows he is a good person.  

There are still a lot of facts that we don't know.  I just don't advocate launching full scale war on her until he knows if her bombers are targeting Pearl Harbor as we write.

Jack, I think you made some good points in your post.  I think too there are enough facts we don't know that there is no sense re-writing history on the few facts we do have. 

We don't know that any of Wayne's statement are absolute facts. What we do know is Wayne is a member of the forum and has presented his story and seeking advice. Lots of advice has been offered based on his story. Also lots of  ad hominem has been offered as well. All due respect Turbo because I like you but, yours and Doll's posts both appear to be adding in "facts" that Wayne didn't. His wife has not offered up her story. So why are you two playing the devils advocate here? Seems to me that you are guessing.

A member has sought advice from his forum. Why do you insist on vilifying him?

[Doll]

So why are you two playing the devils advocate here

Two- who?

[Faux Pas]

Two- who?

Doll
Both yours and Turbo's attitude toward Wayne is that he is at fault here (IMO). And he may very well be, but we have no way to know this, do we? He has stated his story and sought advice. Why is it so difficult to offer him that advice rather than assume the problem is all Wayne and is lack of effort or financial resources?