Wife split!

[Doll]

Ah, ok- I see.

[Doll]

Why is it so difficult to offer him that advice rather than assume the problem is all Wayne and is lack of effort or financial resources?

I did- more than one time

[docetae]

Doll
Both yours and Turbo's attitude toward Wayne is that he is at fault here (IMO). And he may very well be, but we have no way to know this, do we? He has stated his story and sought advice. Why is it so difficult to offer him that advice rather than assume the problem is all Wayne and is lack of effort or financial resources?

You are in fault if you get tons of warning and do nothing, just waiting for things to happen. Now, all members of this forum have recommended to Wayne to go to see a lawyer. We have no news he has done it.

- We know nothing about life before marriage
- We know one version of the story
- All elements shows that Wayne seems to be a good person but with an extremely passive behavior (lock at room in house is a good example)

[Doll]

We know nothing about life before marriage

Not the whole thing but I went back and read his stories about his first marriage and Svetlana from Ukraine. Same pattern now.

[Faux Pas]

You are in fault if you get tons of warning and do nothing, just waiting for things to happen. Now, all members of this forum have recommended to Wayne to go to see a lawyer. We have no news he has done it.

- We know nothing about life before marriage
- We know one version of the story
- All elements shows that Wayne seems to be a good person but with an extremely passive behavior (lock at room in house is a good example)

Not exactly Docetae. He will be at fault for what happens to him going forward if he doesn't follow the advice of seeking legal counsel. He does seem like a nice guy and he is at least half fault for his position right now. It does appear (from what he has told us) that this is a GCG from the onset even though he still isn't sure. All the usual signs are there and the forum members that deal with this regularly are convinced.  

[Doll]

 I once was helping a woman whose husband wanted an annulment. Her situation was much worse- no GC at all. She hired the attorney and they (we) won.
 Oxana will do same and it will be easier for her in her situation.

[vwrw]

Doll
Both yours and Turbo's attitude toward Wayne is that he is at fault here (IMO).

Then your opinion is mistaken.  Turbo tends to believe that they both, Wayne and his wife,  have contributed  in the collapse of their family.

[Makkin]

Wayne,

  It might be a good idea to get her background check if it's not another economic burden. Maybe Jack or his contacts could help in this?
  Doll has mentioned a relationship/marriage for you in the past and surely a woman with child has a similar if not a more fantastic past. Her past may be far more interesting than yours.

  Doll has made clear she is in for the other half of this situation and by doing so she attempts to intimidate you. You can bring out all the facts in this situation if you organize correctly and if what you say is true then you should have both legs up on both your ex and Doll.

Makkin

[Turboguy]

I am not trying to vilify him.  I have said a number of times that he seems like a really nice guy.  I will agree, a little passive.  I tend to be passive myself so I can't point that out as a fault.

To me, there are two possible scenarios.  One is she IS a green card gal and never intended anything for Wayne except to use him as a mule and dump him as fast as she could.  This seems to be what William and Maxx believe and their advice and some others is to crush her like an ant.  Launch a full scale attack, freeze the money, sneak the car out from under her, file for divorce etc.

The other possibility is that she met Wayne, liked him, came here and was disappointed in what she found and was not happy.  She wants out but wants to stay in America and maybe, only maybe doesn't want to hurt Wayne in the process.

Which of those scenarios is correct is total speculation.   If we go by what Wayne has said we can look at these statements.

# 1  I do not want people to think that wife is such a terrible person.

# 2.  She was disappointed with my house and my financial condition when she arrived.

# 3.  She likes expensive things

Those quotes may not be word for word since I didn't go back to reread them but they are there, Wayne said them and the meaning is close enough for what I am trying to say.

I am not saying this to put the blame on Wayne.  I think he did the best he could, however to try and decide which scenario might possible be correct they do make the second option (dissapointment on arrival) at least a possibility that can not be discounted.  

I do have to think that Wayne may not have done a very good job of disclosing his life before she came.  If I compare it to myself and VWRW.  VWRW knew in advance that I lived in a house I bought for $ 3900.00.  She saw photos of the house.  I even did a video walk through of the house to show her before she arrived.  I told her that my income was pretty average, perhaps a tad more than average but not high and that that I had no debt and could do pretty much what I wanted on my  income.  We discussed what we could and could not do financially and she saw my tax returns in advance.  I also spent enough time with her to know what her shopping habits are.  Like any RW she likes nice things but she is sensable about it.  Neither of us had any surprises or disappointments when she arrived.  We knew what to expect and we found what we expected.  

Personally I believe disappointment is a result of unfulfilled expectations and from what Wayne has said, her expectations were not fullfilled.

Wayne seems to think she has extravagant tastes.  He has been asked to clarify that but so far has not.  That could be $ 400.00 shoes or maybe something that is more practical to her but not to Wayne.  One way or the other the proper thing is for two people to spend enough time together to know each other before they do a K-1.  If someone does that they are going to have a pretty good feel for how extravagant a woman is or is not.  VWRW didn't change a bit in her shopping after marriage.  Women like to shop and like nice things, particularly RW.  When I was in my searching stage I encountered some women whose tastes were too extravagant for me.  It wasn't a problem.  As far as I know they are still there looking for a husband.  It was clear to me that I wasn't the guy for them.

I think Wayne made some mistakes.  That doesn't make him a bad guy.  We all make mistakes.   My posts are not to try to put the blame on Wayne.   Some of you are buying scenario # 1.  I am buying scenario # 2.   There is no way to know at this stage which is right but I think there is enough evidence for # 2 to have me leaning that way.

I was accused a few pages back of having father issues.  Frankly, I wonder about some of you.  Some are coming off as women haters.  Squash the b1tch before she has a chance to breath.  It makes me wonder how some of you could ever end up being a good husband and in a happy marriage.  All I am advocating that is different from some of you is not not launch all out war YET.

My advice to Wayne has changed on only one point.  As I have said before but with one change.

Get the best lawyer you can afford.
Stay totally away from her and don't go near her unless someone is with you.
Don't drive her into a corner where she has no options but to do really bad things.
Be more assertive in your approach.  

Personally I don't see it as bad advice.

[Doll]

Doll has made clear she is in for the other half of this situation and by doing so she attempts to intimidate you.

By saying "don't" I do give him an advise and it could be a better one than "do"
BTW 5 years ago on the forum like this one I got a consultation from an attorney and most of his advises were "don't". I followed them and I am where I am.
Thanks again if you  read this forum.

[Doll]

a house I bought for $ 3900.00.

How much????????????????? Is it 3 thousand 9 hundred?

[Doll]

Agree with Turbo 100%

[ScottinCrimea]

Turbo, I think you are totally misrepresenting the advice of Maxx and WilliamIII.  They are not seeking to "crush her like an ant".  They are telling him to do everything he can to protect himself from further financial, legal and emotional damage.  They are advocating only legal and appropriate measures.  Will this have negative consequences for her?  Of course. The results will be consequences of HER actions, not his.  An example would be someone committing a crime and then blaming the policeman for her arrest.

I just don't see your scenario #2 being right.  She was disappointed when she arrived, so she could have done what his first K-1 did, which was to simply return home.  Instead, she chose to go through with the marriage.  For what?  Love?  The hope that things would get better?  In either case she would not have moved out of his bedroom the very next day, nor would she have gone searching for a boyfriend.  Whatever her intent when she first came, ultimately she married him for only one reason, which was the green card.  So at absloute best we can say that she didn't start out as a GCG but became one.  As she clearly stated, her only reason for staying with Wayne is to get her green card.  Isn't that the definition of a GSG?

[Doll]

Turbo, Wayne had known this woman for more than 4 years before she came over.

[Doll]

Some are coming off as women haters.  Squash the b1tch before she has a chance to breath.  It makes me wonder how some of you could ever end up being a good husband and in a happy marriage. 

I was always wondering same. That's why I said Maxx was sick - his marriage failed and now he is the first hater here.

[Doll]

She was disappointed when she arrived, so she could have done what his first K-1 did, which was to simply return home.

Depends what disappointed her.

[Doll]

As she clearly stated, her only reason for staying with Wayne is to get her green card.  Isn't that the definition of a GSG?

Ok,if so then lets move up- she needs her 2 years GC and only I suppose.
And probably the car.
Talk to her- if she is going to live in your house for two more years and get her permanent residency then it won't work for you, Wayne.

[BC]

Maybe it's time RW begin to insist on prenupts.. ones that become effective the moment they cross the border.  At the same time they should do a background investigation of their future mate, insist on copies of the last 5 years tax returns and a deposit that will support their return back to their original state when things don't work out..

Sound unreasonable? - pretty darn close to what it takes to even rent a house in the US nowdays.

[Mishenka]

Maybe its time couples marry for Love and not the love of money.

[BC]

Maybe its time couples marry for Love and not the love of money.

In an age of instant gratification how is that going to happen?

[pitbull]

If we assume that Wayne's wife "IS a green card gal and never intended anything for Wayne except to use him as a mule and dump him as fast as she could", their prior-to-marriage story just doesn't fit in. I believe she has been waiting for K-1 approval since 2005(?). If she is young and beautiful and only wanted a mule to bring her to the US - it would have been much easier just to find another older guy, especially if she didn't care about age difference.

Also, when their first K-1 attempt failed, she wanted Wayne to move to Russia to live with her. If she only wanted a GC and move to America,and wasn't even physically attracted to Wayne, as his marriage story suggests, why would she want him in Russia with her at all?

I guess something happened after she moved to the US and they got married. As to what exactly happened between them, we can only guess. I just doubt she had evil intentions from the very start.

[Doll]

Now it is Pitbull's turn to be attacked 

[Doll]

Both women came and went and it is from a big house. So it is not probably the living conditions- it is the life style that they only figured out here.

[Mishenka]

In an age of instant gratification how is that going to happen?

In this new age of world financial crisis any idea of "instant gratification" attitude  is no longer realistic or relevant. Time will tell, but most say we are in this mess for a long time, if we recover at all.  The wealthy in this country were hurt badly. The middle class all over the world were hurt the most. The poor you will always have with you, they had nothing to loose. For most of us it has completely changed the way we live and think. If it hasn't yet, it will soon. It's only a matter of time.

Love and trust are the anchor of any relationship, with both you can survive anything together. I can only surmise that with Wayne, love and trust were not evident in both parties of this relationship. Something broke trust before she moved out of the bedroom. I would love to hear her side of it. There is more than meets the eye here. A lot more.
Mishenka

[Makkin]

Doll,

  Please tell us more about the size of Waynes house and any other particulars you may be privy to. In case you have evidence of this through the subjects wife or friends and associates please contain that here also.
  In effect you can stand on firmer ground and we may believe you more if in fact your statements are true. If in fact your statements are speculation then of course you are guessing and your input is seen only as speculation and not worth the words you write. So be so kind as to state the facts and source of you so-called information and leave the guessing to the fortune tellers.
Makkin